Veal Milanese with Risotto Milanese

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Ingredients:

veal scallopinis
flour
eggs
plain bread crumbs
cooking oil (olive for risotto/canola for veal)
one cup carnaroli rice
big splash pisco
big splash corenwijn
one quart veal stock purchased at butcher, diluted with one pint water
third cup diced onion (not too fine)
half cup freshly grated parmigiano reggiano (and a little more)
salt and pepper
generous pinch of saffron
one tablespoon chopped flat parsley
lemon

Sautee the fucken ionbions.

Sautee the rice until trasnleucnet.

Add a generous fucien splash of corenwijn and pisco and simmer the motherfucker.

Get ready to dredge the scallopinis in flour, then egge, then bread creujbes.

Flour before egg and then bread crumbs is key, and keeps the shitte adhering to the deailio.

Pan fry those bitchez uppe!!

Fucken spponn broke! AHHG.

EATTE ITTE YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Poppe Quiz!!!!!!!!

What news outlet published an article containing this paragraph?

The problem is that the proposed [Republican] spending cuts would disproportionately affect the current generation of children. It’s emblematic of skewed priorities that the same Congress that on Apr. 15 approved Rep. Paul Ryan’s (R-Wisc.) budget proposal to exempt anyone 55 and older from changes in Medicare had less than two months earlier supported cuts of at least $7 billion in discretionary spending for children’s education. Slashed were such programs as the Even Start Financial Literacy Program, the High School Graduation Initiative, and Head Start. (The eventual compromise budget reached late on Apr. 8 focused cuts in other areas, such as high-speed rail.)

Mother Jones? Harper’s? Worker’s Daily?

Nope. Motherfucken Business Week.

(h/t Digby)

Doesn’t Mean Jacke Shitte

Let’s say that we did actually kill Osama Bin Laden. While it may be gratifying from an emotional standpoint, it doesn’t mean jacke diddly fucke from any practical perspective. The idea that Osama had continued to serve as some sort of operational “mastermind” after 9/11–if he even ever was before that–is an infantile fantasy.

Muslims all over the world continue to despise us for our continued insistence on bombing (and sometimes invading) the motherfucken shitte out of fuckeloades of muslim people. And some vanishingly tiny fraction of them will continue to try in comparatively small ways to try to fucke uppe our shitte because of it.

USA! USA! USA!

Mushroom Risotto and Soft-Shell Crabbes

Ingredients:

four soft-shell crabbes, cleaned by fishmonger
olive oil
salt and pepper
two cups carnaroli rice
one and a half ounces dried porcinis
half pound fresh shiitakes
two cups vegetable stock (I use Kitchen Basics brand)
half cup finely diced onion
half cup finely diced shallot
flour
half cup grated parmigiano reggiano
lemons

Boil about three cups of water, turn off heat, drop in dried porcinis, cover, and steep for about 20-30 minutes.

Strain out the liquid and put the reconstituted porcinis aside. Add this porcini liquid to two cups of vegetable stock, and then add water to a total of eight cups volume. Heat to a boil, reduce to a simmer, add salt to taste (be modest, as you can add more salt when you cook the risotto, and the parmigiano reggiano will also add salt), and cover this risotto cooking liquid.

Sautee the shiitakes until they have given up all their liquid and are tender. Remove from pan and reserve.

Sautee the onions and shallots with a generous amount of fresh-ground black pepper until carmelized. (I actually “dice” the shallots and onions in a food processor, and pretty much puree the shitte.)

Add the rice and sautee until getting translucent (about 5 minutes).

Add a bigge-asse splash of corenwijn and about one third of a bottle of italian dry white wine, and turn heat down to low. Cook the risotto in the usual way, adding in ladles of the hot porcini/vegetable broth as needed. When it’s about halfway done, throw in the porcinis and shiitakes. When it’s done, turn off the heat and add the parmigiano and mix well to incorporate it.

Salt and pepper the crabbes on both sides, and dredge in flour.

Sautee the motherfuckers in hot flavorless oil (I use canola), turning over once.

Eatte the fucken shitte!