3/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons lukewarm water
2 3/4 cups baking flour
1 tablespoon active dry yeast
1 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
1/2 cup flour for working dough
Dissolve the yeast in the lukewarm water, mix well, and let sit for ten minutes. Mix the flour and salt in a bowl, pour one tablespoon of olive oil on top, and then pour on yeasty water.
Stir with a fork incorporating the liquid into the flour until it forms a dough.
Knead on a wooden board for ten minutes, dusting board liberally with flour as needed. Thanks, PhysioWife!
Form into a ball, put in a big bowl (brushed with olive oil), brush ball with oilve oil, and cover tightly with plastic wrap. Allow to rise to about double the original size, for one and a half to two hours. While the dough is rising, make all the other shitte.
Pizza Sauce Ingredients
one medium onion, diced finely
fucketonne of garlic, diced very finely
one large can crushed san marzano tomatoes
salt and pepper
if you want sausage topping, take the sausage out of the casings and sautee over medium-low heat until fully cooked, breaking apart with your wooden spoon. Remove from pan and allow to drain in paper towels.
Add olive oil to pan, and sautee the onions until starting to soften, then add the garlic and fresh-ground black pepper, and sautee until the garlic starts to soften. Don’t cook the onions and garlic as much as you would for a risotto or pasta sauce. You want them to still have integrity in the final sauce.
Deglaze with pisco, and reduce until alcohol is gone.
Add tomatoes, cover, and turn heat to lowest setting. Simmer for about 30-45 minutes, adding a generous amount of dried oregano with about 15 minutes to go. You don’t want to reduce this sauce as much as you would a pasta sauce.
Caesar Salad Dressing Ingredients
four cloves garlic
half cup olive oil
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon worcestershire sauce
two tablespoons lemon juice
one large egg
one teaspoon Colman’s dried mustard
half cup parmigiano reggiano
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
Put garlic and oil in blender, and blend the shitte out of itte. Then add all the other ingredients, and blend the fucke out of itte. (If you are a fucken fraidy-cat, you can substitute two tablespoons of mayo for the egg.) Put the shitte in the fridge while you make the motherfucken pizza.
Beat down the risen dough, and spread it out into a pizza, as thin as possible. Thanks, PhysioWife!
Cover the pizza peel with corn meal.
Slide the motherfucker under the dough.
Top the pizza with sauce, grated fresh mozzarella, and the sausage (or whatever the fucke you want).
Slide that motherfucker onto the pizza stone in a 450-470 degree oven. Note that the pizza stone will take longer to come to temperature itself than the oven, and it needs to reach temperature, or the crust won’t bake all the way through. Also, don’t put the fucken pizza stone cold into a hot oven, or the motherfucker will crack.
While the pizza is baking, toss the romaine lettuce with the caesar dressing, and throw some extra grated parmigiano on top.
Remove the pizza from the oven with the peel when itte’s done. Itte should take ten to twelve minutes.
Slice the pizza with one of those pizza-slicer wheelio dealios and EATTE ITTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!