Apr 14 2011

Jeezus Motherfucke

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You really think it’s a good idea to show slides with multiple panels labelled “Ai”, “Aii”, “Aiii”, “Bi”, “Bii”, “Ci”, “Cii”, “Ciii”, etc, each filled with multiple teeny tiny squiggles and shitte? Fucken goddamn motherfucken electrophysiology douchefuckes shouldn’t be allowed to give fucken talks. Fucken rig jockey assholes.

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29 comments

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1

becca

April 14, 2011 at 9:38 pm (UTC -7) Link to this comment

Dude, I know you don’t think much of me, but that is seriously the most beautiful blog post ever.
Disclaimer: I might have rig jockey asshole issues.
2

DrugMonkey

April 15, 2011 at 6:30 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment

O c’mon. Give the poor graduate student a break. Typical to be so obsessed with all the kewl data they generated that they bore you to tears with minutia. Once they reach postdoctoral level, they’ll start to be able to tell an actual story….
3

Anonymous

April 15, 2011 at 7:42 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment

I know, cause no boring asse gel jockey ever showed some fucken westerns or some goddamn immunocytochemistry (with some bogus colocalization garbage) ever did shitte like that.

It’s all the rig jockeys. Fuckee you!
4

Nat

April 15, 2011 at 7:43 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment

Now, I may be a master rig jockey, who never had more than 5 panels in a figure, and no more than 2 panels on a talk slide, but I can’t for the life of me remember to type my name in a comment.

But I ownne that anony post above you shitte for brainz.
5

Comrade PhysioProf

April 15, 2011 at 8:01 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment

This was no graduate student. It was a tenured faculty member at an elite private institution.
6

anon

April 15, 2011 at 9:05 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment

That explains it. The tenured prof was probably telling some cool and interesting story, and then posted a figure provided by his grad student or post-doc that he himself could not understand. Was it something like this?: … “and this is the data with all the squiggly lines that supports what I’m sayin…” next slide..
7

Comrade PhysioProf

April 15, 2011 at 9:15 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment

No, that doesn’t explain it. Every single motherfucken slide was like that. This fucke is a fucken rig jockey, and has no fucken clue how to explain his motherfucken tiny squiggles to anyone other than a roomful of other fucken rig jockeys. It was a disgrace.
8

drugmonkey

April 15, 2011 at 11:00 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment

fuken rig jockeys. fuken gel jockeys. fuken pipette douches.
9

anon

April 15, 2011 at 11:07 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment

ok, so was he in a room full of fucken rig jockeys?
10

anontwo

April 15, 2011 at 11:08 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment

can’t the nose-poking rat jockeys get some love?
11

drugmonkey

April 15, 2011 at 2:10 pm (UTC -7) Link to this comment

fuken rat jockeys. fuken mouse jockeys. fucken pigeon jockeys.
12

Nat

April 15, 2011 at 2:13 pm (UTC -7) Link to this comment

Fucken zebrafinch jockeys. Take your birdsongge learning, your Area X or whatte’er the fucke you call it, and fucke off!
13

Comrade PhysioProf

April 15, 2011 at 2:15 pm (UTC -7) Link to this comment

All you fucken fuckeasse jockeys can do whatever the fucke you fucken want. But how about doing a decent motherfucken jobbe explaining it to a non-jockey audience?
14

drugmonkey

April 15, 2011 at 5:22 pm (UTC -7) Link to this comment

fuken fMRI douchnozzles.
15

Comrade PhysioProf

April 15, 2011 at 5:24 pm (UTC -7) Link to this comment

At least you can understand those motherfucken fMRI fairy tales.
16

K

April 15, 2011 at 5:27 pm (UTC -7) Link to this comment

Fucke vertebrate jockeys! Invertebrates are cooler, douchefuckbaggenozzles.
17

ginger

April 16, 2011 at 7:00 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment

Talks are just there to give you a hardon for the paper.
18

Namnezia

April 16, 2011 at 4:41 pm (UTC -7) Link to this comment

Were all these panels up at once, or did they appear sequentially in different slides?

Sounds like the dude was too fucking lazy to re-format his figures from the paper. I mean why do you need letters (ie. A, B, C) for a slide since you are actually there in person to provide the commentary?
19

biochembelle

April 16, 2011 at 4:51 pm (UTC -7) Link to this comment

“Here, let me torture you with completely unreasonable amounts of data-that you probably can’t even read-until your eyes bleed… and then I’ll do it some more. HAHAHAHAHA!”

This shitte drives me crazy. Although still perhaps not quite as bad as the biostats jockey whose slides were nothing but unreadable pathways and derivatives that could not fit on a single slide-for an audience of chemists and biologists. I often wonder if such things are the result of oblivion or spite.
20

cackleofradness

April 16, 2011 at 8:27 pm (UTC -7) Link to this comment

I can safely say I have no idea what you are talking about. And I am glad for this ignorance.
21

JackDanielsBlack

April 18, 2011 at 7:08 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment

Some folks just have no clue as to what constitutes an effective presentation–perhaps this is a form of autism. This sort of thing can be prevented by the talk or conference organizer, who should preview the slides and give feedback in advance. Post-presentation audience feedback should also be solicited and given to the presenter.
22

Kaija

April 19, 2011 at 7:47 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment

I went to a symposium two years ago that featured a day of research talks by accomplished senior professors from very fine institutions. 5 of 6 speakers turned their backs to the audience and talked to their slides on the screen. At least 2 presentations featured “wall of small text” slides. I try to coach my students in the art of designing and delivering good presentations and this is what they see “in the field”…yeesh.
23

tideliar

April 19, 2011 at 1:01 pm (UTC -7) Link to this comment

I’m an ex-rig jockey and was well taught by a pro rig-jockey how NOT to resent fucking useless overburdened squilly shitte as a professiaonl talk. break your shitte down and explain your fuckken shitte because no other motherfuckere in the roome understands a word you’re saying.

Electrophysiologists, especially those in vivo and cortical bullshit motherfuckers are the fucking worst for the multi-panel fuckkeass slides
24

tideliar

April 19, 2011 at 1:02 pm (UTC -7) Link to this comment

resent = present

fucking proofe my asse
25

ginger

April 20, 2011 at 12:16 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment

“Motherfuckere.” That’s French, right, like the Royale with Cheese?
26

pinus

April 21, 2011 at 6:57 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment

As a rig jockey who know has a lab, I always make sure I don’t fall in to this trap..I see it happen so very often.
27

K

April 21, 2011 at 7:56 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment

You think that’s bad, though; I have a relative at NIH who works in an area related to grants and she’s told me horror stories of grants typed in one-point font.
28

DrugMonkey

April 22, 2011 at 12:12 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment

As long as it is one-point *Georgia* font it is totes readable,¿¿¡¡¿¿!amirite!????!!
29

DrugMonkey

April 22, 2011 at 12:17 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment

Oh, and I bet this person’s grant applications are a wonder to behold

“refer to experiment A1biii above and experiment G3dii below for the…”