Sep 19 2009

Linguistic Manifestation Of Stunted Cognitive, Emotional, and Moral Development

For years, I have been amused by computer illiterate morons coming to tech support forums and whining about how “my Internet is broken!” or “my Adobe won’t work!” or “when I click on my Internet, nothing happens!” I could never quite put my finger on what felt so meaningful about this completely ridiculous usage of “my” in the context of entities that are vast in scope, and have only an infinitesimal relationship to the person referring to them with “my”.

Recently, I have noticed the same usage of “my” by sick-fuck degenerate wingnuts in more important contexts: “I want my country back!” and “don’t mess with my Medicare!” And then it hit me.

These people conceive of vast entities like a nation of ~300 million people and a health-care provision system of massive scope as “mine”, because they are emotional, moral, and intellectual imbeciles. They can’t even conceive of the fact that they exist in an infinite universe of objective reality that is 100% totally fucking indifferent to their own greedy, self-absorbed desires. They are grown adults with the intellectual, emotional, and moral capacity of four-year-olds, and their language reflects it.

Instead of allowing our national political discourse to revolve around the antics of four-year olds, we should spank their asses and send them to their fucking room without dinner.


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  1. 1

    Completely agreed. Although contrary to freedoms put in place by our founding fathers, I’d like to see some kind of minimum IQ requirement to run for public office.

  2. 2

    The obvious parallel is the folks who refer to “them” when talking about something they don’t like and “we” when it is something they do like.

    What I really wonder though, is if the spineless fucking bastards who were hired in part, to deal with the healthcare issues actually manage to – how many of these hypocritical fucking assholes will stand by their principles and stoically refuse to participate. I’m going to head out on a limb and assume that most of them will be happy to take advantage…

  3. 3

    That’s a portion of the “me” generation, as was coined in the 1980′s, who are now fat, insufficiently indulged, baseball heat wearin’, Bermuda shorts sportin’, bigot sign totin’, idiot fucking racists who piss “me” off!

  4. 4

    What scribbler said. Plus, they drive gas-guzzling SUVs, talk on their cell phones while driving, and don’t use turn signals.

  5. 5

    On the other hand, if someone said “my Chevy needs an oil change” you probably wouldn’t react that way. With “my Internet” I’m with you, but “my Adobe?” That’s not so bad.

  6. 6

    My ass.

  7. 7

    That was brilliantly insightful.

  8. 8

    I don’t want “my” tax dollars going to benefit anyone who isn’t just like meeeeee!
    Hate hate hate. The asshole, it burns.

  9. 9

    Dude you don’t know any four year olds do you? They are way more mature than these teabaggers, birthers and their ilk.

  10. 10
    Larry H.

    You know how stupid the average* person is? Well, half of them are even stupider.

    We can’t have socialism without better people, and we can’t have better people without socialism.

    *Yes, I know, the median. But it doesn’t scan.

  11. 11
    Larry H.

    It’s the stupidity, stupid

  12. 12

    Most humans are in need of a basic Grammar Lesson.

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