Hypocritical Far-Right-Wing Deranged Religious Fuckwits Forge Governor’s Signature For Wackaloon Jeezus Shit

As usual, the far-right-wing Jeezus-worshipping morality crusaders turn out the be degenerate sleazeball lying motherfuckers:

State Representative Sally Kern’s proclamation of morality has been a lightning rod from the beginning, blaming the nation’s economic problems on morality and claiming the nation is a world leader in abortion, pornography and other forms of debauchery.

Now, a new controversy has taken center stage involving The Baptist Messenger, a weekly paper with about 68,000 subscribers put out by the Baptist General Convention of Oklahoma. The publication reprinted the proclamation in its July 16 edition, complete with state seal and a signature by Governor Brad Henry and Secretary of State Susan Savage.

“It is not anything that the state is sponsoring, so to see it on such an official document that we filed is really surprising,” Savage said.

Savage’s office has to verify the governor’s signature on all proclamations and affix the seal. Savage believes the paper took another proclamation signed on July 2 and merged the bottom half with the Kern proclamation.

“I think it’s unfortunate especially when it’s something that’s potentially controversial to have there be any misrepresentation of the state’s official position on it,” Savage said.

I guess forging the signatures of the Governor of Oklahoma and the Secretary of State, as well as the state seal, is just peachy fucking keen when you’re an extreme far-right-wing theocratic motherfucking slimebag LYING FOR JEEZUS.

Chest Waxing For Charity

ScienceBlogger Ethan Siegel of Starts With A Bang is gonna video-blog himself having his chest waxed, and in honor of this Isis The Scientist and Comrade PhysioProf are each gonna donate $500 to Kiva Loans. Kiva is a charitable entity that acts as a clearinghouse for micro-lenders and micro-borrowers to implement loans that help enable the borrowers to start small businesses and lift themselves out of poverty. This is the kind of charitable outfit that even greedy selfish right-wing pigs can feel good about!

I encourage our readers to make some loans through Kiva, too, in honor of Ethan’s courageous chest-waxing escapade. As you can see from this picture, he’s a hairy motherfucker, so the waxing should be fucking hilarious!

Whoops!

PhysioWife and Comrade PhysioProf were fucking wasted last night and having our own dance party. While we were dancing to this song, things got out of hand:

When the dust cleared, the Yankee gnome ended up on the DL.

P1020251--resampled

Fortunately, PhysioWife is an outstanding gnome surgeon:

P1020252--resampled

Delusional GOP Fuckwads Crack Me The Fuck UP!!!111!!!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!

In a potential sign of Sotomayor’s strong political momentum, however, Senate Republicans indicated they do not intend to filibuster her nomination on the Senate floor.

It’s also a “potential sign” of the filibuster-proof Democratic caucus majority in the Senate! Fucking right-wing morons are just getting more and more pathetic every day, pretending like they have any remaining substantial electoral relevance. If it weren’t for the craven spinelessness of the Democrats, the GOP wouldn’t even possess the meager scraps they still do.

Insultingly Fucking Stupid Analogies For $1000

Uncertain Chad seems to have given up the ghost today, with one of the most insultingly fucking stupid analogies I have ever heard:

I am a fan of the New York Giants.

I believe that they can win every game they play. I hope that they will win every game that they play. I get emotionally involved in their games to such a degree that my heart pounds and I get short of breath when they face a critical play in the fourth quarter. I yell at the tv, though I know that they can’t hear me. When something goes wrong, I will punch things and curse. When they win, I will stay up late to watch highlights of a game I just watched.

{snipped out more wacky Giants fan crap}

There is absolutely no rational reason for any of this. But it’s something I do anyway, because it’s a part of who I am.

Does this make me less of a scientist (other than the decrease in productivity caused by blocking out several hours on 16-20 Sundays (plus the occasional Monday or Thursday) a year)? Have I somehow compromised my scientific objectivity by choosing to be so affected by the fortunes of one team playing what is (let’s face it) a pretty arbitrary and faintly ridiculous game? Is my ability to separate out what happens during the football season from what I do in my day job indicative of some sort of mental defect?

Or is this just one of those things that people do, that make us more interesting to talk to than robots?

Yeah, dude, being a Giants fan and obsessively rooting for your team is just like being a gibbering religious fuckwit who believes in miracles, jesus, praying, hell, and all kinds of other deranged bronze-age fantasy shit. How fucking stupid do you take people for?

GO EAGLES!

So? What’s The Motherfucking Problem?

Fucking Democrats need to sack the motherfucking fuck up:

President Barack Obama may rely only on Democrats to push health-care legislation through the U.S. Congress if Republican resistance doesn’t eventually give way, two of the president’s top advisers said.

“Ultimately, this is not about a process, it’s about results,” David Axelrod, Obama’s senior political strategist, said during an interview yesterday in his White House office. “If we’re going to get this thing done, obviously time is a- wasting.”

Both Axelrod and White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel said taking a partisan route to enacting major health-care legislation isn’t the president’s preferred choice. Yet in separate interviews, each man left that option open.

“We’d like to do it with the votes of members of both parties,” Axelrod said. “But the worst result would be to not get health-care reform done.”

Jesus motherfucking christ, could they be any more apologetic?? The Dems have a filibuster proof Senate majority and a fucktillion vote majority in the House. Why the fuck are they even acknowledging the existence of the Republican Party? The GOP has been completely utterly 100 bajillion percent repudiated by the American people.

Emanuel, making a theoretical case for a party-line vote, offered a definition of bipartisanship based not on roll-call votes but on whether Democrats have accepted Republican ideas during the process of negotiations.

He said Democrats already have passed that test, pointing to Republican amendments that the Democratic-controlled Senate Health, Education, Labor and Pensions Committee has adopted.

“That’s a test of bipartisanship — whether you took ideas from both parties,” Emanuel said. “At the end of the day, the test isn’t whether they voted for it,” he said, referring to Republicans. “The test is whether the final product represented some of their ideas. And I think it will.”

Republican ideas!?!?!? The motherfucking Republicans don’t have ideas; they have guttural screams. This shit is just downright embarrassing. Don’t these Dems have any fucking pride?

Question For My Readers

Have you ever dealt with an individual who views the entire universe as existing only to serve her own purposes, lacks even the faintest clue how her statements and actions are perceived by others, and is completely unaware that other people have their own goals and purposes? Gimme some fucking stories.