Guest Post By MonkeyPox On Depraved Right-Wing Religious Fuckwads

It shouldn’t come as any surprise that the US lives on a razor’s edge between democracy and theocracy.  There may be atheists in foxholes, but in the Congress, you’d better at least say you believe.  This is true for private life as well.  If I tell people at work that I’m an atheist they “move away from me on the Group W bench.”  And while someone’s religious beliefs shouldn’t affect the execution of their public office…can I be frank here?…WHO ARE WE FUCKING KIDDING?  People who believe strongly that some wacko polytheistic death cult (or, for inclusiveness’ sake, monotheistic cults as well) is the answer to life, the universe, and everything are going to shove it down our throats.  That’s their history, that’s their present, that’s their future.  If they are counting on some greenfieldscandyeverydaybazillionvirgins afterlife, they’re going to feel free to fuck up the real life that is here and now.

And I’m not sure who is more dangerous, the ones who really believe it, or the ones who, deep in their “soul” know it’s bullshit and have to work extra hard to show their friends how much they love some imaginary extra-terrestrial goat-fucker.

I bring this up because the latest Republican goat-fucker to get caught fucking goats (or in this case, an Argentinian), well, it turns out he belongs to a cult-within-a-cult.  He’s a member of “The Fellowship”, which also goes by the name, “The Family” (hmmm, where have we heard that name before?) Who are these people?

Well, for one thing, they sponsor the annual Circle Jerk National Prayer Breakfast which every president must attend and address lest he be thought to be a closet Jew homosexual atheist. Apparently, the Family also owns a house in DC commonly called “C Street” which hosts faithful politicians when they wish to pray, sleep, confess, and what-not.

Lest you think that the Republicans have cornered the theocracy market, scientist Francis Collins and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton are also believed to be frequent participants in Fellowship activity.  Still, the GOP pretty much loves all that religious stuff and I’m sure they think “democrat” “believers” are either about to become Republicans or headed straight for Hell.

So why am I making such a big deal?  Author Jeff Sharlet has done extensive research and written a book which, if true (and there seems little reason to doubt it) reveals a conspiracy-theorist’s nocturnal emission.  Hey, did you think Jews secretly ruled the world?  BUZZ!  It turns out its the Fundies:

SHARLET: The goal is an “invisible” world organization led by Christ — that’s what they aspire to. They are very explicit about this if you look in their documents, and I spent a lot of time researching in their archives. Their goal is a worldwide invisible organization. That’s their word, and that’s important because it sounds so crazy.

What they mean when they say “a world organization led by Christ” is that literally you just sit there and let Christ tell you what to do. More often than not that leads them to a sort of paternalistic benign fascism. There are a lot of places that they’ve done good things, and that’s important to acknowledge. But that also means they might be involved with General Suharto in Indonesia and if that means that God leads him to kill half a million of his own citizens then, well, it would prideful to question God leading them.

The problem with these ass clowns is not their prayer meetings or their book clubs; it’s their “calling”.  These folks really believe that God is calling them to do things.  How do they know what these things are?  Obviously, a person tells them, since God isn’t saying anything.  They are, at best, a sleeper cell available for activation by anyone who they feel legitimately interprets God’s wishes.

Currently, God’s wishes almost always involve hating teh ghey (unless you’re a congressman or a minister), controlling teh wimminz and their sex-a-liciousness that lures Good Men into half-way-round-the-world affairs, and making the country, as a whole, more Jeezus-y.

Theocracy is a really bad idea.  If our leaders are going to let their private religious beliefs influence policy, they really should think about getting themselves a country that’s more explicitly Goddish and filled with slavish followers–you know, like Iran or Utah.  Then they can fuck goat’s* to their hearts’ content, and leave the rest of us alone.

*Not that there’s anything wrong with that.