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May 03 2009

What The Fuck?

Friend of the blog Scribbler has a great post up at his place cataloguing the side effects of various forms of booze. This particular entry caught my attention:

Irish Whiskey: Possible side effects could include blurred vision, rushes of manly bravado and, (especially if ingested as Jameson’s), acute Tourette’s Syndrome whereby “fuck” is inserted every third or fourth word per sentence. Blackened eyes could also occur here but only to the person standing next to the Irish Whiskey drinker.

Suggested Usage: Four drinks a day if ingested “neat”, three if “on the rocks” (a heavier pour), but none if ingested within two blocks of an elementary school.

I have no fucking idea what the fuck he’s talking about.

9 comments

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  1. 1
    scribbler50

    He’s talking about using the “F”-word near a grade school where kids might hear. What the fuck do you think he meant?

  2. 2
    scribbler50

    … for fuck sakes!!!

    Thanks for the mention, Prof.

  3. 3
    Physiogroupie IV

    God, I hate it when people say Jameson’s.
    Good entry though. Very detailed.

  4. 4
    Professor Anonymous

    Hence, I drink Bushmill’s. My vision is blurred before I start, my bravado is down-regulated by my physical inconsequence, and my Tourette’s is a pre-existing condition.

    Blackened eye only occurs when I drink tequilia, and it’s always my eye. From what I am told, it’s usually well-deserved.

  5. 5
    Anonymoustache

    Speaking of Irish Whiskey, I just found the perfect one for you CPP (OK, the perfect pinch hitter for Jameson)…..I found one at Costco that is simply labeled “Feckin Irish Whiskey”. Of course I bought it, and, like pretty much every thing Costco carries, it is pretty damn good.

  6. 6
    Hap

    Suggested usage…nor between zero and three hours after a Yankee game, particularly a defeat (nor one in which bad pitching is involved, but that’s probably redundant).

  7. 7
    antipodean

    Cross Posted at Scribbler50′s

    Gin: Mother’s Ruin- the crack cocaine of Victorian England. You may be a unmarried mother of twelve in and out of the workhouse and supporting your lifestyle through prostitution. Look out for guys answering to the names Jack or Mr The Ripper.

    As for the whiskey and black eye problem I think you are basing your conclusions on shitty cross-sectional data. My black eyes always precede the scotch.

  8. 8
    SKM

    A further side effect: all attempts to say “manly bravado” will most likely be rendered as “manly vibrato”. Which is way funnier.

  9. 9
    Toaster

    Toaster’s Cinco de Mayo resolution is to drink more whiskey. Liver’s gotten far too complacent.

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