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Apr 23 2009

I WANT TO KILL ACROBAT 9.1!!!!! (UPDATED)

God motherfucking dammit!!! The motherfucking asshole fucking engineers that designed this piece of fucking shit should be drawn, quartered, and their stupid motherfucking goddamn asshole fucking heads impaled on pikes on fucking LONDON BRIDGE!!!

If you are typing in a text field in a form, and you press CTRL-S, the MOTEHRFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT DOES NOT SAVE!!!!!!111!!!! It only saves if you CLICK OUT OF THAT FIELD INTO ANOTHER FIELD BEFORE YOU PRESS CTRL-S!!!!11!!! THIS IS EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And when you’ve spent 45 MOTHERFUCKING MINUTES TYPING A MOTHERFUCKING PROJECT SUMAARY INTO A MOTHERFUCKING TEXT BOX (assiduously pressing CTRL-S every few minutes) and then the nasty vile despicable PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT CRASHES, ALL OF YOUR MOTHERFICKIGN WORK IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HATE!!!!! KILL!!1111!!! DESTROY!!!11!!!!!

UPDATE: Apparently, someone from Adobe reads Comrade PhysioProf and has just posted a comment here stating that Adobe is looking into this. Accordingly, I take back what I said about drawing and quartering Adobe engineers. No hard feelings?

24 comments

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  1. 1
    Enrique

    you should type it in MOTHERFUCKING MICROSOFT WORD and then MOTHERFUCKING PASTE IT into MOTHERFUCKING ACROBAT 9.1. MOTHERFUCKING hopefully MOTHERFUCKING MICROSOFT WORD is more MOTHERFUCKING stable than MOTHERFUCKING ACROBAT 9.1. but who MOTHERFUCKING knows about MOTHERFUCKING that. MOTHERFUCKER!

  2. 2
    Comrade PhysioProf

    Thanks for the MOTHERFUCKING advice MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!

  3. 3
    Professor in Training

    You’re typing directly into Acrobat? What the fucking hell is wrong with you?? Enrique is 100% correct – save that shit in Word first!

    Like you needed my help at this moment, right!?

  4. 4
    jc

    I’m so glad I didn’t “upgrade” to motherfucking 9.1. If only I hadn’t “upgraded” to motherfucking Vista which motherfucking closes down every motherfucking time I breathe.
    Acromotherfuckingbat?

  5. 5
    Eugenie

    Use motherfucking LaTeX.

  6. 6
    Physiogroupie IV

    Is it imperative that you use that particular version for what you’re doing?

    No offense, but you kind of sound like my PhD advisor. “How do you copy+paste?!?! There’s a paper jam? How do you fix the printer?”

    :(

  7. 7
    Comrade PhysioProf

    In order to work with NIH fillable forms SF424 in Adobe format, one must use either Acrobat 8 or Acrobat 9. By the time I needed to transition to the Adobe version of SF424 from PureEdge, only Acrobat 9 was available for purchase. Acrobat 7 was totally rock fucking solid, and was the best version of Acrobat ever. Acrobat 9 is, as far as I am concerned, a total fucking regression.

  8. 8
    Suzan

    I’m with you, PP.

    I never upgrade if I have a program that fulfills my needs. NEVER. (And I steer everyone away from the Vista catastrophe.) Sorry about your dilemma.

    Do not trust the new (dumbed-down) world of techies.

  9. 9
    Spiny Norman

    Fuck Adobe. This is the battle that can uniteMac, PC, and Linux users worldwide. Motherfucking FUCK Adobe.

  10. 10
    Candid Engineer

    Word.

  11. 11
    Gonzo

    Ah, that’s so infuriating to spend ages writing something and then crash- gone!
    My e-mail programm does that occassionally. Drives me nuts.

  12. 12
    monado

    Experience is what you get just after you needed it most. But your friends are right. You have now learned to type up anything important or longer than three sentences into a text editor or something fancier and paste it when it’s all done. And save your copy if it’s anything you’ll do again – you could build up a library of templates. Or not. YMMV.

    Good luck!

  13. 13
    rehctaw

    If only the software manglers had a sense of humor.
    You know, like the twisted brilliant fucks who make gaming so “real”?

    Then at least you might get a “Wah-Wah-waaaaaaaaaaaaaah” when it arbitrarily shreds your labor.

    “Thank you for playing our game.”

  14. 14
    anon

    would this help? http://www.cs.duke.edu/brd/NIH/tips/

  15. 15
    Comrade PhysioProf

    No. This has nothing to do with the preparation of the scientific content section of the grant. Acrobat is *required* to be used to prepare and submit the entire grant, because NIH *requires* electronic submission using an Adobe Forms-based package. Using LaTex or any other page layout system to prepare the scientific content is irrelevant to this issue.

  16. 16
    BB

    *sigh* Hope you are done having problems, PP.
    I never liked Adobe and hate having it on my Mac.
    Good luck with your grant app.

  17. 17
    Dave Stromfeld

    Thanks for pointing out this issue. We’re taking a look at it.
    Dave Stromfeld, Acrobat Team
    Twitter: @acro_dave

  18. 18
    Comrade PhysioProf

    Umm, Dave. I take back what I said about drawing and quartering Adobe engineers. No hard feelings?

  19. 19
    chezjake

    Hey, CPP, apparently it sometimes pays to rant. With luck, you might even be asked to test the fix.

  20. 20
    alby

    Haahahahah stupid ass engineers. Can’t wait til I can join ‘em.

  21. 21
    Comrade E.B. Misfit

    I second the rule: Never ever upgrade software unless you have to. A few years ago, I was in an office where they were still using WordPerfect 5.1 because it fucking works. I use WP 9 (WP 14 is the current version) and Acrobat 5.

    About nine years ago, I had problems using a certain state government web site. I called them up to ask what the problem was. The answer was “it only works with Internet Explorer 6.” I said, “Well, I design web pages and could you be so kind as to pass a word onto your web site designer?” They said they would, so I said: “tell him to go fuck himself” and hung up the phone.

  22. 22
    Comrade PhysioProf

    I second the rule: Never ever upgrade software unless you have to.

    I bajillion infinity the rule! I HAD NO FUCKING CHOICE!!!!!!!!!

  23. 23
    Arienne

    Try Foxit. A non-clunky, stable, inexpensive alternative to Adobe, and one that does not stealthily update itself.

  24. 24
    Narya

    I have to use electronic forms, as well (though for HRSA, not NIH). I tend to put every last thing–numbers, words, whatever–in another format first. Sometimes it means typing it twice, of course, when I can’t either cut&paste or turn the other doc into a PDF and attach it, but it also means I have a record available for internal use if I can’t get to the online version.

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