Taxonomy of The Internet Loon: It’s Loontastic! (UPDATED)


Jason Rosenhouse of Evolution Blog linked to Comrade Physioprof’s teabagger post, and some really tasty loonballs came out of the woodwork in the comments to his post. They were so loontastic, I felt obliged to share them with my readers.

First, we have “I’m never reading your blog again” loon, Eric:

The content on the page you linked is an embarrassment. I’m sad to see that you condone it. This will be my last visit to your blog.

HAHAHAHAH! Is there any way to use the word “condone” that doesn’t immediately mark the utterer as a complete total motherfucking loon?

Second, “emphatic language is unclean and incoherent” loon, gcs15:

I would recommend replacing this link with one that’s cleaner and more coherent, expressing its viewpoint more appropriately. I don’t agree with its viewpoint, but this is a country of free speech.

You just shouldn’t condone something this nasty.

Another with the fucking “condone”! This gcs15 nutter is also of the “I punish you by dramatically not reading your blog” variety:

Thanks, SLC, think I’ll pass on those blogs. I don’t need profanity or name calling to make myself understood, and neither should anyone else. Why on earth I should mosey over to experience profane ranting, I have no idea.

But thanks for the heads up regarding which blogs not to waste my time on.

Third, is “no fucking clue what ad hominem means” loon, Dan:

This once again proves the old adage that there is no argument more convincing than a vicious string of ad hominem attacks.

Hey, shitmonkey: insulting people for being stone-cold pig-ignorant dumbfucks is not an ad hominem attack. Asserting that what they happen to be arguing–and it is stretching the term “argue” to apply it to these teabagger wackanuts, who are really just grunting at the behest of gutter-dwelling right-wing slime like Gingrich–is wrong because they are stone-cold pig-ignorant dumbfucks is ad hominem.

I never said a single word about their “arguments”. In fact, the delusion that everything written on the internetz must be a “rational argument” that must be “supported” and “debated” represents a common loon trait–at least among the ones who seem to set themselves off when reading Comrade PhysioProf’s pellucid prose. Here’s a motherfucking clue: mocking the shit out of dumbfuck assholes is part of what we do here. That fucknut Michael Hawkins represents an extreme example of this high-school debate-team species of internet loon.

Finally, we’ve got “bringing political discourse to a new low drama queen”, Psychprof:

Physioprof should get a prize for bringing political discourse to a new low. Maybe he or she just thinks political topics don’t deserve evidence or reason to make a point. On second thought, I suppose he or she saw enough evidence to justify, in his or her own mind, hatred for people who protest taxes.

Psychprof also seems to have a touch of the high-school debate-team phenotype, with the “evidence”, “reason”, and “justification” fetishism. HAHAHAHAH!

Internet loons are LOONTASTIC!!!!11!!

UPDATE: ZOMFG, check out this dude, some florid fucknut calling himself Robert O’Brien:

Leni, my good moron, no doubt you would have decried the original tea party as a childish political stunt whilst wearing a powdered wig, girdle, and pledging allegiance to King George.

AHAHAHAHAHAH! Freakball just insulted someone by accusing them of having Loyalist sympathies! THAT IS BEAUTIFUL!!!!!

Well, that is easily explained by the fact that [Abbie Smith and Comrade PhysioProf] are low-rent, trifling pieces of ****.

We are low-rent, trifling pieces of gold, fish, sand, wut!?!?!?

I’m telling ya, this shit just writes itself!

Comments

  1. says

    Is there any way to use the word “condone” that doesn’t immediately mark the utterer as a complete total motherfucking loon?

    Either you are a total motherfucking loon, or you have given us a valid counterexample. ‘-)

  2. says

    I don’t know, I think there are very valid, non-loon contexts in which to use the word condone. But they are rather rare…

  3. says

    I’m amused that they all complained about the profanity after they were FUCKING WARNED that it was there. Was their though process basically: “I’m not a fan of that mean, nasty language, but I’ll click that link with a warning attached so I can come back and act butthurt. It’s not like like I can scroll past it, right?”

  4. UpWithPeople says

    Cute post CPP. But you MUST admit that you and your cronies here fit into a predictable taxonomy also. But I don’t mind, I find it all as amusing as you do.

    Hugs and Kisses,

    Isabel

  5. Isabel says

    pps. That question was for the mysterious CPP only. I already know what the rest of you are going to say, so don’t bother.

    Thanks.

    ppps. I beg to differ CPP, I think people really are angry, though it may be misdirected.

  6. says

    Isabel,

    You have no idea how exited I get every time I see another string of obsessive comments you leave here. You are such a dedicated nutbar.

    PS I have nothing else to add

    PPS I still have nothing else to say…

    PPPS …But, I thought I might try this out because it looked like fun.

  7. says

    OK, i gotta admit, I always love the “im leaving and never coming back”.

    I also love the, “that’s not what i came to your blog for”, since, even at my less profane place the response is, “who fucking cares”.

    But the most important is the fake ad hom as you pointed out. A fallacious ad hominem attack uses insult *in place* of argument. CPP uses insult *in commission* of argument. Very different, that.

  8. says

    Oh Isabel, we don’t give a flying fuck that you ask us not to bother. You open yourself up so stupidly and somehow expect that the rest of us will play by your rules.

    You have proven repeatedly that you are in fact a “obsessively trying to get people to acknowledge and respond to my incoherent idiocy, as though I am a reasonable person,” sort of loon. CPP’s list above, is by no means a comprehensive listing of loon phenotypes.

  9. Ellabelle says

    Ooooo DuWayne you just seem so normal! The way you obsessively stalk me, and fly off the handle when I am not even talking to you. Not loony at all!

    HaHaHa you are so jealous because i am smarter AND funnier than you!

    What is your IQ anyway? (since you insist on communicating with me) Oh wait maybe I should say Don’t under any circumstances tell me your IQ.

  10. says

    What is your IQ anyway?

    High enough to know that IQ is a terribly inaccurate measure of real intelligence. Also high enough that I was able to tell the Mensa folks to shove their membership offers where the sun don’t shine.

    And no, I’m not “normal” whatever the fuck that means. I’m depressive with bipolar (likely bipolar II) and severe ADHD. Also occasionally prone to being obsessive, though not at all stalker obsessive. Responding to your bullshit, on a blog I pretty much read daily – on threads I’ve already commented on, is not stalking.

    Your belief that people responding to your bullshit, even when you ask them not to is stalking, is just one of the many indications that you are at the least, as fucking crazy as I am. The problem is not that you’re fucking nuts, but that you don’t recognize it and likely aren’t receiving help.

  11. says

    Oy, and I don’t “fly off the handle,” I’m just an asshole with little tolerance for persistent and pervasive stupidity.

  12. says

    Hahahaa!
    There are so many comment threads where some doofus cries “ad hominem”, without knowing what it is. It’s almost as annoying as the mind-blowing idiocy of people who ask: “What’s your IQ anyways?”.

  13. says

    It’s almost as annoying as the mind-blowing idiocy of people who ask: “What’s your IQ anyways?”.

    Yes, made doubly stupid by the fact that a)IQ is a not so great measure actual smartness or ability (huge understatement) and b)most people have never been tested for their IQ since there are few reasons for it to be done (see point a).

  14. MeanPeopleSuck says

    It’s almost as annoying as the mind-blowing idiocy of people who ask: “What’s your IQ anyways?”.[sic]

    You mean you’ve actually come across this question before??

    DuWayne, you sound very knowledgeable and concerned about mental health issues. So it is very disconcerting that you have so vehemently (and repeatedly) verbally abused a stranger on the internet that you have decided is mentally ill…

  15. says

    You mean you’ve actually come across this question before??

    Yes, and all it’s lovely variations (see: your joke is old and tired and feeling a bit lame).

  16. says

    You mean you’ve actually come across this question before??

    Yes, by people who for some stupid reason seem to think it matters. And because I was in special ed in middle school, into high school, it was part of the battery of tests I had to take.

    DuWayne, you sound very knowledgeable and concerned about mental health issues.

    I am.

    So it is very disconcerting that you have so vehemently (and repeatedly) verbally abused a stranger on the internet that you have decided is mentally ill…

    I have my reasons for having done so. Not the least being that I am not immune to getting irritable with people who insist on repeatedly misrepresenting what others have to say, no matter how many times and how very solidly it’s clarified. And I have low tolerance for people who play stupid fucking games.

    Besides all that, I am by no means a paragon of mental stability – not by a stretch. And it took me a while to recognize that said stranger is actually mental.

  17. MeanPeopleSuck says

    HaHaHa, that’s funny. It must be because you are telling people all the time that they are stupid. DuWayne keeps saying that to me, and after a while it’s annoying. It was an intentionally stupid joke, and specific to DuWayne, so it’s still amusing to me that you claim it’s an old joke!!I couldn’t imagine it ever coming up until I met DuWayne.

    Anyway, I think if stupid people were accepted as part of ‘diversity’ that would solve the whole problem because it would also protect people who were only perceived as stupid, but who were really visionaries ahead of their time…..also, as I have explained before, I feel it is unseemly for smart people to make fun of the intelligent…

    What do you guys think?

    Isabel

    xxx

  18. says

    Not funny, true. And you are either stupid or willfully obtuse, which is inherently dishonest. I despise dishonesty and tend to give people the benefit of the doubt.

    I have no problem accepting people who are stupid. I do have problems with accepting stupid people who continually repeat the same stupid garbage, with the same result every time and refuse to either give up or even consider that in fact, what they are saying just might be stupid.

    And it’s not unseemly in the least for people who are intelligent to mock other people who are intelligent. I do it on a regular basis, when really bright people say and believe really stupid things. And I accept, acknowledge and live with it, when I am shown that I have been guilty of the same. I don’t whine about it, I deal with it.

    By and by, after a while your stupidity gets annoying – just so you know.

  19. Ellabelle says

    “Yes, by people who for some stupid reason seem to think it matters. And because I was in special ed in middle school, into high school, it was part of the battery of tests I had to take.”

    Oh please don’t start playing the victim here – YOU are the one who has been calling me stupid fucking bitch, fucking moron, idiot troll etc REPEATEDLY for weeks- and it’s totally unwarranted.

    And CPP here who RUSHED to Sheril K’s defense, gets a chuckle out of this crap? WTF?!

  20. says

    Not only is measuring IQs questionable, there is also a difference between the actual act of thinking and cognitive ability.

    I wonder if anyone here has heard of Vox Day?

  21. says

    I have been calling you stupid and other nasty things, because you have repeatedly used other names, said ridiculously stupid things and when you’ve been rather nasty or offensive, you just claim it’s all in fun, a silly joke that you thought was funny.

    I despise dishonesty. I despise pretense. I have been abusive, because I don’t like you and find your attitude absolutely vile, your take on race repugnant and your tendency to accuse people of being racist, both ironic and offensive.

  22. says

    And to be really clear – I am mean to you, knowing that you have neurological issues, because you are a nasty, dishonest little person. I don’t feel the need to put up with dishonest nasty people because they happen to have neurological problems.

    I have neurological issues that have been untreated for most of my life. I have used and abused every goddamned drug I could get my hands on. I have had serious abuse problems with hallucinogens, LSD most of all and have gone for up to a month at a time, taking more and more each day, to perpetuate the trip – ended up incoherent, refusing to wear fucking clothes I was so far gone. At my worse, I never dreamed of behaving like you.

    And I know a lot of people with far worse issues than my own, treated and untreated, who don’t behave as badly as you have.

    When I am behaving irrationally, it’s irrational – not dishonest. And when it is pointed out to me, I take it for what it’s worth and try to find my way to being more rational. I don’t accuse people of being what they are not – especially with nasty words like racist.

    Neurological problems are not an excuse for being a vile little git.

  23. MeanPeopleSuck says

    Well, It’s nice that CPP allows free speech on his blog, but too bad that means giving free reign to judgmental, hate-spewing self-appointed internet cops like DuWayne.

    :-(

  24. says

    In fact, the delusion that everything written on the internetz must be a “rational argument” that must be “supported” and “debated” represents a common loon trait–at least among the ones who seem to set themselves off when reading Comrade PhysioProf’s pellucid prose.

    True, but I’m bringing this up next time you rip someone to shreds (mmrphbeccammprhcough) on DrugMonkey for opining on some topic that you consider above their paygrade….

  25. says

    Attention Teabaggers: J. Heller punched your ticket half a century ago:
    ———-
    Major Major’s father was a sober God-fearing man whose idea of a good joke was to lie about his age. He was a long-limbed farmer, a God-fearing, freedom-loving, law-abiding rugged individualist who held that federal aid to anyone but farmers was creeping socialism. He advocated thrift and hard work and disapproved of loose women who turned him down. His specialty was alfalfa, and he made a good thing out of not growing any. The government paid him very well for every bushel of alfalfa he did not grow. The more alfalfa he did not grow, the more money the government gave him, and he spent every penny he didn’t earn on new land to increase the amount of alfalfa he did not produce. Major Major’s father worked without rest a not growing alfalfa. On long winter evenings he remained indoors and did not mend harness, and he sprang out of bed at the crack of noon every day just to make sure that the chores would not be done. He invested in land wisely and soon was not growing more alfalfa than any other man in the county. Neighbors sought him out for advice on all subjects, for he had made much money and was therefore wise. “As ye sow, so shall ye reap,” he counseled one and all, and everyone said, “Amen”.

  26. says

    MeanPeopleSuck:

    Well, It’s nice that CPP allows free speech on his blog, but too bad that means giving free reign to judgmental, hate-spewing self-appointed internet cops…

    Remind me how that’s a bad thing?

    Srsly, one of the qualities of free speech we embrace is disagreement.

  27. MeanPeopleSuck says

    PalMD, IMO verbal abuse and disagreement are not the same thing. Did you read the comments I am referring to? And I’m not saying CPP should censor anyone, but aiming such intense vitriol at one person is bizarre and intimidating. Maybe you think that IS a good thing. I don’t.

  28. says

    And I might even feel bad, if you hadn’t wandered over to my fucking blog to see if you could get some more.

    I am not nice, but I am quite overtly not nice. I don’t act like an ass while trying to smell of sunshine and roses. I also don’t go around using other names, accusing people of vile things like being racist (without clear evidence they are) and generally being an offensive prig who, when called on it, pretends it was all a fucking joke.

    You reap what you so Isabel. I will say that I am going to stop being quite so abusive and sincerely suggest that you get help. It is increasingly apparent that I have been surpassed as the least sane person here – and I am getting help.

  29. MeanPeopleSuck says

    Dude, I have not been on your blog – I just checked it out and that post doesn’t even sound remotely like me.

    People on these blogs call entire groups of people racists all the fucking time with no supporting evidence. That is one of my complaints.

    Your accusations are false, and your diagnosis based on ignorance, but I will tune you out from now on. Your hatred and rage is extremely inappropriate and too depressing to deal with. Good luck with that.

  30. octopod says

    The first paragraph after the “ad hominem” quote (beginning “Hey, shitmonkey…”) is a beautiful, beautiful thing.

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