I am watching my first Baseball Tonight of the season, and Peter Gammons–a decent analyst and smooth speaker–analyzes Minnesota’s chances, stating that so-and-so and such-and-so need to up their “OPS” by fifty points. Motherfucking rotisserie stats dweebs are a fucking cancer at the heart of Baseball Tonight. Baseball fans do not want to hear about motherfucking OPS, okay? On the other hand, Dave Winfield is a great player and coach, and a great addition to their team.
Oh, one more thing: What the fucking fuck is up with those spindly wacked-out garden stools they’re perched on top of? Dave Winfield is a big dude, and John Kruk is threatening his stool’s structural integrity.