I’m sure you’ve all read that “heartfelt” letter from the AIG fuckup who is “going Galt” because his cock is not being sufficiently stroked by the US government as they save his sorry-ass employer and his own sorry fucking ass from bankruptcy.
These people were maximal fuckups. Drunk assholes who spent all day addled in their offices surfing porn and doing nothing would have been a net economic positive compared to these narcissistic fucknozzles.
Fuck ‘em. Let ‘em quit. Like we should give a flying fuck. What the US goverment ought to do is fire all these assholes and take all the fruit stand and Korean deli and bodega owners in NYC and put them in charge of the banks. Those are people who know how to run a fucking business. Not these compulsive gambler scumbags.
11 comments
Skip to comment form ↓
grace
March 27, 2009 at 7:19 pm (UTC -7) Link to this comment
word up. i was thinking the same thing as you when i saw headlines about aig.
Dr J
March 27, 2009 at 8:12 pm (UTC -7) Link to this comment
What I cannot stand with these assholes is the sense of entitlement they have to everything – bonuses, extravagant pensions, the whole lot. They just seem to think they should get paid off no matter what – screw a bank into the ground and of course you should receive a $1,400,000 pension a year from the age of 50 from the tax payers. How about making them liable for the company debt (a bit like universities like to make PIs liable for deficit grant spending), perhaps that would focus the fuckers minds?
leigh
March 27, 2009 at 9:06 pm (UTC -7) Link to this comment
i am all about the small business-owners running this shit. they can keep their goddamned books balanced.
Professor in Training
March 28, 2009 at 12:26 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment
I fail to see how these fuckers think they’re entitled to bonuses when their actions drove their companies, not to mention the entire goddamned economy, into the ground. Aren’t bonuses supposed to reward efforts that resulted in healthy profits? What fucking planet are these people living on? There are thousands of people losing their jobs, health insurance, homes, pensions, investments, etc every single day yet corporate execs don’t have a problem pocketing gazillions of dollars in bonuses even though their actions were the direct cause of so much suffering. I feel like I’ve woken up in the Twilight Zone.
TexasSkeptic
March 28, 2009 at 12:40 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment
JC Fogerty, of Creedence Clearwater Revival fame, brilliantly summed up a lot of frustration and anger in his song “Fortunate Son.” The lyrics are as applicable today as they were then. But, being drunk enough to be emboldened enough to believe I could come up with something that approached the original genius, I put together an update, and this seemed the proper thread for it. Here’s the result, and if you like it, fine, and if you don’t, I don’t care:
Fortunate Son, 2009
Some folks’ll tell you greed is a balm
That their wealth enriches you
But when the yardman needs an extra dime
He’s just gonna have to make do
It ain’t me, it ain’t me, I ain’t no hedge funder’s son
It ain’t me, it ain’t me, I ain’t no fortunate one
Some folks say with Jesus on our side
We’ll make the wide world paradise
But if a man should love another man
They always holler “die, die, die”
It ain’t me, it ain’t me, I’m no evangelist’s son
It ain’t me, it ain’t me, I ain’t no fortunate one
Some folks believe war will solve it all
Our fighting youth will see us through
But ‘way back when they could stand and fight
They all had better things to do
It ain’t me, it ain’t me, I ain’t no chickenhawk’s son
It ain’t me, it ain’t me, I ain’t no fortunate one
Some folks believe Social Darwin rules
And they’re so brilliant that they shine
But when the books come into the light
It’s, “Please, bailout one more time”
It ain’t me, it ain’t me, I ain’t no Randian whore
It ain’t me, it ain’t me, I won’t take it anymore
(And there are four verses instead of three. So sue me.)
bikemonkey
March 28, 2009 at 12:40 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment
They are too big…..not to get bonuses PiT. Aight?
Juniper Shoemaker
March 28, 2009 at 1:45 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Actually, I had no inkling of Jake DeSantis’s resignation letter until now. I’ve just read it. That shit’s hilarious! Appallingly hilarious . . .
What the US goverment ought to do is fire all these assholes and take all the fruit stand and Korean deli and bodega owners in NYC and put them in charge of the banks.
What a great idea. It’s infinitely preferable to retaining the assholes who are so used to having Italian food choppered in from Italy and only interacting with one another that they can actually write letters like this to begin with! Driftglass was so right about the degree to which these incompetents are out of touch with reality . . .
Several years ago, it started dawning on my slow-on-the-uptake ass that no one can possibly be “self-made”. So my enthusiasm for “absolute capitalism” as some sort of True Religion of Economics has already waned. If it hadn’t, though, the sight of its alleged practitioners helping themselves to OODLES and OODLES of TAXPAYER MONEY for doing an epically shit-ass job and without turning a fucking hair would have single-handedly done in my devotion. Fucking disgusting.
Professor in Training
March 28, 2009 at 9:13 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment
bikemonkey: What was I thinking? Of course they are!
Larry Ayers
March 28, 2009 at 4:16 pm (UTC -7) Link to this comment
The word “fucknozzle” has officially entered my personal lexicon. Good one!
Toaster
March 31, 2009 at 10:24 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment
Let us figure out which executives caused exactly how much monetary damage. And then let us freeze all of their assets completely until they have dug 1m of 3mx3m ditch for each dollar of fuckknobbery they caused. To maintain humanitarian standards, they get water ad libitum and 4 packets of Ramen per day, with 1/2 day off on Sundays.
SC
April 1, 2009 at 10:43 am (UTC -7) Link to this comment
What the US goverment ought to do is fire all these assholes and take all the fruit stand and Korean deli and bodega owners in NYC and put them in charge of the banks. Those are people who know how to run a fucking business.
Sorry, but I have a very clear memory of picketing outside one of these delis with the poor Mexican immigrant workers who were getting paid shit and treated lie it, while the owner (I even remember his name, but won’t say it) approached me in his very expensive suit to try to explain to me condescendingly, smirking the whole time, how greedy these workers were. Meanwhile, he hired thugs to stage a fake protest at another deli, chanting about how supporting these workers’ rights to a union and a living wage was “anti-American” and “anti-Korean.” A despicable human being. But you’re right, he did know how to run a business, because at a very fundamental level that’s what it’s all about – oppressing other people to stay in business and profit. Meanwhile, the Korean labor movement grows…