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Oct 15 2008

The Day I Became An Atheist

Motherfucking arrogant, presumptuous, ill-mannered, and rude bastard Barefoot Bum has tagged me with a goddamn meme. While I despise this meme-tagging cockamamie crapola, Bum is a decent dude, so I’ll oblige.

Can You Remember The Day That You Officially Became An Atheist?

Actually, I can. I was with my parents at our house of worship as a child–if I recall correctly about 7 years old–and was following along with the praying and shit, and I said to myself, “I’m gonna try to believe this shit that I’m reading about God wants this and God did that”, but I just couldn’t do it. All I could think was, “This is totally fucking ridiculous”. From that moment forward I have been as certain as I have ever been of anything that there ain’t no fucking gods. Period.

Do you remember the day you officially became an agnostic?

I was never an agnostic. Before the event I described above, I simply didn’t give a flying fuck about any god shit, one way or another.

How about the last time you spoke or prayed to God with actual thought that someone was listening?

Never happened.

Did anger towards God or religion help cause you to be an atheist or agnostic?

No. I became an atheist because I became convinced as surely as I am convinced of anything that their ain’t no fucking gods.

Here is a good one: Were you agnostic towards ghosts, even after you became an atheist?

Ghosts!? You fucking kidding me!?

Do you want to be wrong?

Huh?

Guess what, motherfuckers? You are motherfucking tagged!!!!!!!

RESEARCHERS, Professor in Training, Blue Lab Coats, Dr Jekyll & Mrs Hyde, Chemical BiLOLogy.

12 comments

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  1. 1
    PhizzleDizzle

    Are you telling me you don’t believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster? The blasphemy! You’re going to Meatball Hell!! :)

  2. 2
    Physiogroupie IV

    Ghosts!? You fucking kidding me!?

    LOLLLL

  3. 3
    unbalanced reaction

    Hmm…. yeah, I believe in ghosts about as much as I believe in a certain Alaskan as a competent (vice) president.

    Sigh.

  4. 4
    Isis the Scientist

    I adore that little PhysioProf was a foulmouth even at 7 years old.

  5. 5
    Fixer

    Personally, after seeing innocent people die horribly in combat actions, after being in parts of the world so poor, children rummage through city dumps for something to eat, or for a bit of scrap to sell for something to eat, I knew the god of the Judeo-Christian ethic didn’t exist. The kind, benevolent being they describe, the one who loves us all, would never allow it to happen. He would not have let the millions of people, over the course of human history, be killed in His name. Unless he’s a Republican …

  6. 6
    drdrA

    Not nice to tag me on a grant deadline… you will have to wait..

  7. 7
    Pat

    Damn I tried. After 12 years of Nuns and Priests and parents that needed a priest to salve their “soul”.
    I’m not sure where I crossed the line but, I’ve never looked back. Agnostic? Ok tag me but I’m slippery, might not fit an hour from now. My point: fuck your athiests and fuck your believers, we are observers plane and simple. Rant On Comprade!!

  8. 8
    Pat

    Should have dropped the “p” but its the drifting glass fault. Sets fire in my brain with his(sic) lucidity.

  9. 9
    The Barefoot Bum

    Motherfucking arrogant, presumptuous, ill-mannered, and rude bastard Barefoot Bum

    You forgot supercilious, vain, lazy and pompous. What, are you just phoning this shit in now? :p

  10. 10
    Physiogroupie IV

    “You forgot ugly, lazy and disrespectful. Shut up bitch. Go fix me a turkey pot pie.”

  11. 11
    bikemonkey

    u r dating urslf pgIV!

  12. 12
    Abel Pharmboy

    This post and Fixer’s comment remind me of this story I heard yesterday on Free Speech Radio; it’s been covered widely now:

    God Off the Hook in Nebraska

    And finally, God is officially off the hook in Nebraska. A District Court Judge has thrown out a lawsuit on the grounds that the deity could not be served with legal papers because of an unlisted home address. Long-serving Nebraska state senator Ernie Chambers, who represents North Omaha, said he filed the lawsuit last year to make a point about frivolous litigation. In the suit, Chambers sought a permanent injunction, saying God has caused “widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth’s inhabitants.” And Chambers says he’s already found grounds for an appeal. He figures since the Court acknowledges the existence of God, they thus have to recognize God’s omniscience. Consequently, says Chambers, “Since God knows everything, God has notice of this lawsuit.” The senator has 30 days to decide whether or not to appeal.

  1. 13
    The day I became an atheist… « Blue Lab Coats

    [...] The day I became an atheist… Published October 16, 2008 General News & Thoughts 2 Grants done. Submitted. Finished. Outta here. I’M TOTALLY fucking fried. In that spirit…and because I’m too exhausted to do anything that involves actual thinking, I will oblige Comrade Physioprof, who has tagged me with the following meme… [...]

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