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Apr 19 2014

Ouch!

All eleven Rays runs last night came with two outs. That’s fucken brutal.

Apr 19 2014

Reader Pop Quiz #2: Still No Google Allowed!!

In the history of modern baseball, have there been more perfect games or more unassisted triple plays?

I will provide answers to yesterday’s and today’s quizzes on Monday.

Apr 18 2014

Fucken Fleas

I got bit by fleas at my buddy’s house last year, but I had a delayed sensitivity reaction that didn’t kick in until a few weeks later, coincidentally the morning after I had stayed in a hotel. So I was convinced it was bedbugs in the hotel. The shit fucken itched for almost a month, with new bites appearing every few days at the beginning. I had no idea about the delayed sensitivity shittio, and so I was convinced that bedbugs had moved into our home and were attacking me at night. According to PhysioWife, I was waking up screaming every night “THE BUGS ARE ATTACKING ME!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!”

Only later on did I put two and two together and realize it was fleas from my buddy’s fucken skanky dog that he lets run rampant in the woods behind his house. The shittes were so itchy it kept me from sleeping!

Apr 18 2014

Reader Pop Quiz–No Google Allowed!

Have there been more all-time triple plays or more no-hitters in the modern MLB?

Apr 18 2014

Ponderable

If your infield turns a triple play behind you when you’re pitching, drinks later are on you, right?

Apr 17 2014

Triple Fucken Play!

Yeahahahahahahahah!

Apr 17 2014

w00t!

Apr 15 2014

Masshole Redde Socke Fan Fuckebagges Can’t Fucken Drive

I had the misfortune of having to drive extensively in Massachusetts today, and jeezus motherfucke. These fuckes are completely fucken oblivious to what is going on in all driving circumstances except that they are uniformly dead set on preventing any other drivers from getting ahead of them in merging/yielding situations and pay very close attention to that and intentionally cut your fucken asse offe. Otherwise, they drive as if there is no one else on the road. It’s like sharing the road with toddlers in the fucken snack line at kindergarten.

Apr 15 2014

Reason Number Eleventeen Fuckzillion To The Kajillionth Power Why I’m Ecstatic Not To Be Involved With Faceshitte Or Other “Social Media” (i.e. Corporations Selling You To Other Corporations)

Q. Former Boss With Blurred Social Media Boundaries: My former boss at a large West Coast firm is relatively new to social media. He is a likable guy, my dad’s age, with a nice family. They hosted my own family for dinner—even for Easter—on many occasions over the years, and though we’ve moved on, my husband and I think of them warmly. As the former manager of my old firm’s popular social media accounts, I remained online friends with my old co-workers; now I’m connected to many new co-workers and friends at my new company, too. My old boss “likes” and comments on every single thing I do online. Every. Single. Thing. He’s far senior to me in our field and knowing him has proved beneficial to me professionally; I don’t wish to offend him or worse, hurt his feelings. But now he’s friend-requested my little sister and she is skeeved out. I’ve noticed he does this to other former co-workers, so this isn’t an e-stalking situation so much as it is a weird, overfamiliar breach of etiquette that, I guess, isn’t written yet. Do I say something? If so, what? I’m freely sharing these mild, not-too-personal things, and engaging with one another is the fun of social media. Just not, maybe, engaging with every single thing, at all hours of the day and night. Oh, and several people have approached me about this—folks from my old job who wonder if he’s all right, and other friends asking who the guy squatting on my page is.

A: I’d say that this is e-stalking and this Dad has discovered that with one quick “friend” request he has an endless data bank of vacation photos (oh, those beach volleyball shots!), etc., where he can indulge himself while pretending he’s only keeping up with young people in his field. Please tell your sister not to accept his super-creepy request; no explanation to him is needed. This is a delicate situation for you since he likely is a reference, and he holds sway in your field. I’m not up on the latest Facebook privacy settings, but you are a social media maven, so surely there’s a corral you can put people in who you don’t want to defriend but whom you want to have extremely limited access to your photos, updates, etc. Cordon him in there. Presumably he won’t know what happened, but if he complains he can’t see your fun pictures anymore, just explain there’s a new setting for social versus work friends, and don’t be bullied into allowing him full access.

Apr 12 2014

Reader Poll

What’s the best Honeymooners episode of all time? Opine in the comments.

My vote is for when Ralph forbids Alice from keeping the puppy she brought home from the pound, so she makes him take it back. He gradually realizes what happens to the puppies that don’t get adopted, and ends up returning home with dozens of puppies.

(And yes, consider it acknowledged that the Honeymooners was grossly misogynistic.)

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