[The scene: a misty auditorium in an undefinable state in the universe. The seats are occupied by ghosts; Sir Roger Penrose presides benignly from a pulpit overlooking all. He gestures, and Stuart Hameroff rises to deliver the sermon.]

Quantum quantum quantum. Quantum quantum. Quantum quantum quantum quantum, quantum quantum quantum, quantum quantum quantum. Quantum quantum. Quantum our experience of consciousness quantum is the result of quantum gravity effects inside these quantum microtubules – a process they call quantum orchestrated objective reduction (Orch-OR) quantum quantum, quantum quantum.

Quantum, quantum quantum. Quantum quantum quantum, quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum. Quantum quantum. The quantum information within the microtubules is not destroyed, it can’t be destroyed, it just quantum distributes and dissipates to the universe at quantum large. Therefore, quantum.

In a near-death experience the microtubules lose their quantum state but the information within them is not quantum destroyed. Quantum quantum. Quantum quantum quantum. Or in layman’s terms, the soul does not die but returns to quantum the quantum universe quantum. Quantum. Quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum, quantum quantum Quantum.

Quantum, my preciousss. We wants it, quantum quantum.

[Hameroff sits back down. Penrose smiles and silently blesses the audience. All disappear, quantally, as the quantum choir chants about quanta.]