Superman is a profane dick

This is Superman getting shot by a tank.

The guy is so super-tough that his only response is to choke out some kind of gutteral noise, “GD”. I don’t even know how to pronounce that; maybe it’s Kryptonian for “ow” or something.

Unfortunately, a Christian comic book store owner in North Carolina is so annoyed that Superman might have used a euphemism for “god damn” that he’s boycotting all issues of Superman.

I could see Guy Gardner and maybe even Hal Jordan (Green Lanterns) saying it. I could see Oliver Queen (Green Arrow) saying it. I could easily see Damian Wayne (Robin) or MAYBE even Bruce Wayne saying it. But Superman was created to be the “perfect” super-hero. Unblemished. Superman is an American icon.

It grieves me to see a liberal Scottish schmuck like Grant Morrison take these liberties. I’m sorry, Superman would NEVER take God’s name in vain. In the words of the late Jim Croce, “You don’t tug on Superman’s cape.

“Perfect” apparently means “prissy” in his vocabulary. But I think he’s just given permission for some superheroes in the DC universe to start swearing like angry drunken sailors, which could be fun.

I understand that it’s only a comic and it’s not the real world, but I feel that as a Christian I have to draw the line somewhere.

Yeah, somewhere on the far side of petty and silly.

Besides, how can you get upset at a grunt? Everyone knows, Superman is a dick.

It’s what I’d expect of Scotland

It’s a new beer with some unusual characteristics.

  • Only 12 bottles were brewed, and they sold for $765 each.

  • It had an alcohol content of 55%. Can you even get that without distillation? Does it even count as a beer? Does it taste like beer?

  • It comes in a unique bottle wrapped in preserved roadkill.

It’s an interesting combination, not one element of which gives me any desire to drink the stuff.

(Also on Sb)

What is she doing?

The Vision Forum is one of those backward organizations promoting a “biblical patriarchy” — they’re full of pious, patronizing claims about fathers raising daughters with good moral values, and it’s clearly all about tightly controlling women’s sexuality. A site called Rethinking Vision Forum is all about pointing out their hypocrisy and weirdness, and they have a recent post highlighting a biblical patriarchy CD. Take a look at the cover.

What is she doing? She’s reaching down to the man’s crotch; he’s looking down at what she’s doing; and creepiest of all, there’s a bearded older father figure watching sternly. And then, when you look at the original painting, you discover that it was intentionally photoshopped to put the woman into this suggestive position.

It’s supposed to be a “parable about the hearts of fathers and daughters”. I don’t think I want to know what the connection between the father-daughter relationship and voyeurism and public handjobs might be, but I suspect that no matter how twisted and kinky the interpretation, it’s probably got a biblical justification.

The Great American Superhero

Rick Perry was asked what kind of superhero he would be, and unimaginative dufus that he is, he answered “Superman”, without thinking about the implications.

He should have answered “Batman,” born with a silver spoon in his mouth, solving all of his problems by buying the best and most expensive toys and gadgets, and churning through child labor to get the job done. That’s an American hero.

If I’d been asked, I’d have said “Doc Ock,” and I wouldn’t bother to explain myself…I’d just laugh maniacally.

(via Lindsay Beyerstein.)

El pulpo mecanico

I need a battalion of these. Only question: do I hold them in reserve for my bid for world conquest, or do I succumb to temptation and use it in the classroom to intimidate the students?

(via io9)

(Also on Sb)

Where not to find a date

Would you believe there is an online dating site, run by Randroids? It’s called the Atlasphere, and it’s the most ghastly horrible collection of self-centered narcissists all trying to make themselves attractive by fluffing up their egos even more. Take a look at the excerpts, and cringe. Here’s one example:

I love intelligent, sassy girls, particularly those working in consulting or investment banking (but other fields are great too). Really, nothing is hotter than an accomplished girl in a suit, as long as she is willing to settle down and have my children. I want a girl who will support my ambitions against the naysayers in society.

And that’s not the worst!