Has anybody read The Terminal Man by Michael Crichton? It’s about a man who gets a brain implant to correct his epilepsy, but then it starts triggering increasingly violent crimes. I strongly dislike everything Crichton ever wrote — he was a Luddite who doesn’t know what he’s talking about, while the press and the public fawn over his bad science — but for the first time, I feel like he might have been onto something.
Reportedly, Elon Musk has gotten FDA approval to stick chronic electrodes into people’s brains. Why you’d want anything associated with that incompetent boob permanently wired into your brain is a mystery.
The FDA acknowledged in a statement that the agency cleared Neuralink to use its brain implant and surgical robot for trials on patients but declined to provide more details.
Neuralink and Musk did not respond to Reuters requests for comment.
The story has triggered my internal Michael Crichton and now I’m wondering what horror will result from this decision.
- Patients will start murdering people ala The Terminal Man (or Musk’s self-driving software) as Neuralink misfires.
- Neuralink will catch fire and burn down to the patient’s basicranium.
- Neuralink will explode when it’s switched on, cratering the patient’s head.
- Neuralink will attract Nazis who will fill the patient’s brain with bad ideas.
- Neuralink will do nothing at all, but it will distract the patient from investing in better treatments.
My imagination fails. You’ll have to think of all the likely horrible consequences of getting a Neuralink implant.