There is more evidence that ex-wrestling coaches will molest your children, than that transgender people will

Ah, Republican hypocrisy. Ripe and pungent, flowing everywhere. While they’re flailing across the land to gin up a new moral panic over transgender people needing to pee, they’re also rushing to defend a convicted child molester who was one of their own. Dennis Hastert, form speaker, is guilty of sexually abusing children when he was a wrestling coach, and is about to be sentenced. His pals have written letters begging for leniency, and those letters have been made public, because the judge refused to accept them unless they were made openly.

So here’s the verminous Tom DeLay:

So I know his heart and have seen it up close and personal. We all have our flaws, but Dennis Hastert has very few. He is a good man that loves the lord. He gets his integrity and values from Him. He doesn’t deserve what he is going through. I ask that you consider the man that is before you and give him leniency where you can.

So we get a heavy dose of Christian hypocrisy, too. If Hastert gets his integrity and values from Him, that really puts an insidious twist on Matthew 19:14 (Suffer the little children to come unto me).

I also have to ask: do transgender men and women deserve what they go through?

Toxic gallantry

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This afternoon I’m giving a talk on how evolution, and fundamentally, the naturalistic fallacy, is abused all over the place, and then I find this open letter to the various heroines of recent movies, and I just want gak all over it. Not only does this guy call on bad biology to defend his traditionally misogynistic position, but he’s a fundie Christian who believes humans were created by a deity, so he doesn’t even accept the biology he’s misusing.

I know the whole world is ladling on the adoration for your brave contributions to modern womanhood. However, you are behaving, all of you, in ways that do not befit your sex or glorify God. Frankly, and I’m sorry to have to say this, I really am, many of you look ridiculous. Your friends and family and fans may not laugh at you. But the angels do and history will. What you’re doing might be good politics (of a sort), but it’s bad biology, bad theology, and bad storytelling. It lies about who you are as a woman and how God made you. And it makes for lousy movies and TV.

Okay, that’s the nastiest part. Now let me explain.

Let’s talk about biology first, who you are as a woman.

The most obvious things are the hardest to defend. You can write whole textbooks proving something unseen and unexpected like gravity or photosynthesis. But how do you prove the existence of Mt. Everest besides saying “Look, there it is?”

That’s why I feel dumb saying this, but:

Women are the weaker sex. They may be the smarter sex, they are often the wiser sex, they’re probably the more industrious sex, they’re definitely the prettier sex. But they’re also the weaker sex.

[Read more…]

Liars and monsters

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Robert Lewis Dear, the asshole who shot up a Colorado Planned Parenthood clinic and murdered three people, has been flapping his wretched yap again. He’s been talking about how much he admired that other asshole, Paul Hill, who murdered an abortion doctor, and he’s been saying that he was hoping to be welcomed into heaven by a swarm of grateful aborted fetuses. And of course he was influenced by those phony videos from the “Center for Medical Progress” made by sick fuck David Daleiden.

The National Abortion Federation released a report last week documenting what should come as no surprise to anyone: that anti-abortion harassment, threats, intimidation and violence have spiked dramatically since July 2015 when the Center for Medical Progress began releasing deceptively edited videos aimed at discrediting Planned Parenthood’s fetal tissue donation practices.

Despite the Center for Medical Progress’ videos having been widely discredited, and the indictment of its leader, the group continues to release videos — which federal and state politicians are using to justify invasive government investigations into abortion clinics and further abortion restrictions. This one-two punch of anti-abortion activity almost guarantees that the increased violence against abortion providers NAF documented in 2015 will continue into 2016 and beyond.

Now if you want further evidence of the hypocrisy of the Republican vermin who hate Planned Parenthood, look no further than these telling laws. Samantha Bee has noticed something strange: did you know that food stamps can’t be used to purchase disposable diapers? It’s not just punishing babies (you know, those critters they don’t want aborted, and that will be greeting Robert Dear in heaven by shitting all over his shoes), but it’s also a clever way to shackle parents, especially mothers, to their homes and making it impossible for them to find jobs.

How can you be adamant that all babies must be born, yet so callous and uncaring that you deny their mothers basic supplies for hygiene? If the Republicans were actually sincere about caring for children, you’d think they be all over bills to allow poor people to use their food stamps on something as unglamorous and useful as diapers.

After all, it’s not as if they’d be using them to buy red potatoes or spaghetti sauce.

That’s the other thing: the scum of the Republican party in Wisconsin, which is fast becoming a desolate hellhole of smug selfish bastards under Scott Walker, is now trying to pass a bill to control what things poor people are allowed to buy with their food stamps. Why? I don’t know, except that being Republican means you are compelled to meddle in the lives of others to make them more miserable. It’s a kind of psychopathy, I think.

Hypocrisy to the fourth power

Jud McMillin has resigned from his position as a Republican representative in the Indiana legislature. I know this bothers you — another promising political career cut short — but the hypocrisy of this one is positively enthralling. Rarely does a politician engage in such furious foot-shooting.

  • He’s resigning because he sent explicit sex videos recorded on his cell phone to a large number of people. Oh, excuse me, his cell phone was stolen and “his cellphone sent a sexually explicit video to an unknown number of recipients”. This is what the passive voice was intended for by the good Lord Above, people!

  • This is the second time he’s resigned because of the escape of sexually explicit images of himself from his phone (AI researchers: look into this. It may be a sentient device). He previously resigned from his job as an attorney because he’d been taking advantage of a client who was a victim of domestic violence. How did he get elected to high office after that? I don’t know. Indiana?

  • A highlight of his legislative record was working to pass a “2015 “religious freedom” law allowing businesses to ban gay customers”. Because, of course, he’s very concerned about public and private morality, since God frowns upon men who touch penises, except of course, when that man is making a masturbation video to send to his mistress. Oh, wait, I just got kneemail from Jesus, and he says Dad disapproves of that, too.

  • I think this one should count as irony, rather than hypocrisy: he also helped stall a bill to outlaw revenge porn, so any Hoosiers who have copies of his porn video, there’s nothing but your conscience to prevent you from disseminating it wildly. And if you’re the kind of person McMillin counts as a friend, there’s a good chance you don’t have one of those!

But don’t you worry about Jud, he has announced that he is resigning to spend more time with his family. You all know about Republican families, right? The family is a versatile institution that both provides an excuse to sanctimoniously moralize at the public, and acts as a perfect, untouchable refuge when you’re caught violating your own moral code.

The cephalopods tried to stop him

Ted Cruz wrote “25 things you don’t know about me” — it’s got one interesting thing about him, and leaves off the most important point.

6. I was once bitten by an octopus at the beach and got terribly ill. (Yes, apparently octopuses can be poisonous.)

Yeah, dumbass.

But what I want to know is…forget Cruz, did the octopus survive its poisoning?

#TheTriggering lies limp and unable to perform

It probably doesn’t help when the targets of all your aggressive thrusting are laughing at you. This recent impotent effort by loud man-babies to be as offensive as possible on Twitter fizzled feebly, and here’s one good elegy for the fucked up mess.

I had a great deal of fun with #TheTriggering today, as did many of my most adamantly and bullishly feminist friends. It was a chance to point and laugh at an idea that could not have backfired any more spectacularly. But I think it’s also important to remember that while the planning and execution were pathetically bad, this was a plan born of genuine hatred and fear of women, people read as women, and anyone who supports their liberation and fair treatment.

The people behind #TheTriggering weren’t dauntless free speech advocates—just sad and spiteful little gremlins who genuinely think that trans people should die and women need to talk less.

Don’t get me wrong : that should definitely not stop you from mocking them. Mock early, mock often. Mock loudly and proudly and get all your friends to join in. Sometimes, the best cure for hatefulness is abject derision. Something to smile about: almost all of the top tweets in the hashtag are either people mocking the creators, or the creators getting mad at the people mocking them. It’s kinda beautiful, really. This really could not have gone any more wrong in any more predictable a way.

Just remember that in reality, safety and freedom from harassment and violence are no joke. It’s sad that there are people so devoted to a quixotic crusade against the perceived tyranny of “cultural Marxism” that they can’t see that.

Today in Responsible Gun Ownership

Jamie Gilt loves her guns. She has a page titled Jamie Gilt for Gun Sense. So you’d think she’d be a regular poster child for the NRA.

She’s in the hospital now because, as she was toodling down the Florida highways in her pickup truck, her four year old son found a .45 calibre pistol in the back seat, and plugged his mom right in the torso. She’s going to live, fortunately, and will be back to praising guns soon.

I’m not laughing. I’m just kind of staggered by the explosion of cliches I’ve now read.

For my birthday? I’m touched.

This is so sweet. The channers/gamergaters/MRAs/generic assholes have declared 9 March to be a special day.

lauren-the-triggering-date

What is this all about? They’re upset about serious issues like Milo Yiannopoulos’s missing blue checkmark, and how people sometimes (rarely) bet banned or blocked for harassment, so they’ve decided to go all out repulsive for a day. They have a simple plan.

To participate all you have to do is post the most vile and offensive things you can think of (within federal law), in defense of freedom of speech.

Oh, man, brilliant. That’ll convince the world these worthies must be given a louder voice.