OMG, I’d spend all day in bed

So many choices…but I don’t think they’d be to my wife’s less nerdy taste (or in other words, she’s not quite as tasteless as I am). It’s a whole collection of cephalopod themed bedding.


And then we’d have to redo the ghastly 1950s-style floral wallpaper in the bedroom…I wonder if they have wallpaper with tentacles somewhere?

It would improve the resale value of the house! Wouldn’t it?

A useful paper for conversations with those obsessed with health trends

Last year, Nature Chemistry published an article by Alexander F. G. Goldberg and CJ Chemjobber titled “A comprehensive overview of chemical-free consumer products“. Everyone should read it. It’s a thorough description of all chemical-free products, and the paper itself is a free download. Here’s the introduction.

Manufacturers of consumer products, in particular edibles and cosmetics, have broadly employed the term ‘Chemical free’ in marketing campaigns and on product labels. Such characterization is often incorrectly used to imply — and interpreted to mean — that the product in question is healthy, derived from natural sources, or otherwise free from synthetic components. We have examined and subjected to rudimentary analysis an exhaustive number of such products, including but not limited to lotions and cosmetics, herbal supplements, household cleaners, food items, and beverages. Herein are described all those consumer products, to our knowledge, that are appropriately labelled as ‘Chemical free’.

It really is complete. But don’t worry, it won’t take you long to read it.

Poetry? At a science event?

It’s true. This is what happens at a liberal arts college: worlds collide! Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria! And poets and scientists talking to one another!

This is precisely what the Christian fundamentalists are warning us of with the Blood Moon Prophecy, which is happening this weekend, and culminates with poetry in a coffeehouse on Tuesday. If ever you wanted to witness an apocalypse, get yourself to Morris stat.


The shipping costs would be murder

This magnificent sculpture of a giant octopus tearing down a temple is for sale in Japan. It would be perfect for my front lawn.


There are still the small matters of the sad, hungry moths that flutter out of my wallet when I open it, and I should probably talk to Mary before investing in a lawn ornament that would dominate the neighborhood, and oh, yeah, the neighbors might have something to say…