Oh, joy: new gurus


This article by Yvette d’Entremont is a bit discouraging: she gives a list of the usual dorkadonkulous fraudsters, like Joseph Marcola and Deepak Chopra and David Avocado Wolfe, but she also alerts us to the new loonies.

So now I’ve heard of Tracy Anderson, unfortunately.

The latest in a long line of bleach blond, tanned skinned, threateningly perky health revolutionaries Hollywood has spat forth is Tracy Anderson, pint-sized abomination of a trainer to the stars. In a home workout video industry rife with the physical prowess of everyone from Jane Fonda to Hugh Hefner’s ex-girlfriends, Tracy Anderson, at the very least, sweats sometimes.

She’s trained the who’s who of beautiful bodies — Gwyneth, J-Lo, Madonna — and isn’t that evidence that her method works?

And my image of Jessica Alba is permanently ruined. Jessica Alba, the actress?

Yes, indeed, Jessica Alba, who gave birth to a baby and then decided that she had also birthed a PhD in toxicology. While everyone else is trying to keep up with the Joneses by merely buying the latest trendy kale laced baby food, Alba mommed harder than anyone else by founding The Honest Company. She’s been scaring mothers sh*tless ever since with her hodgepodge of chemiphobic non-sense.

The Honest Company provides a handful of organic, non-GMO, gluten free, dragon-free, delivered-by-unicorn products that you need to keep your baby alive, in one piece, and moderately non-crispy. Baby formula, diapers, and non-toxic sunscreen are a few of their products available to the discerning parent.

I’m also learning that being a dishonest fraud is profitable, and that they are proliferating.

Comments

  1. Sastra says

    Yvette d’Entremont is a fun read. I love her deconstruction of Chopra’s New Thought pablum re “happy thoughts make happy molecules”:

    The question ‘how do you measure the emotions of a molecule,’ sounds like a rejected verse for the song Blowin’ In The Wind, not the question for a scientific experiment.

    Just based on what’s in her article, though, I wouldn’t put Tracy Anderson in the same class as the other gurus, who peddle some hard core pseudoscience / conspiracy mongering. She sounds like just another fitness instructor making inflated claims and building up babble around standard diet and exercise. She’s remarkable because she’s not really remarkable, but maybe she’ll motivate some who might otherwise not be motivated. An annoying part of a culture focused on physical perfection, perhaps.

    But gurus like Mercola touch evil.

  2. says

    Alba’s apparently making a lot of money from Honest, and drawing enough attention to end up as cover story on Forbes “America’s Richest Self Made Women” issue. There’s talk of an iPO soon, but the company is also facing lawsuits arguing their products aren’t what they claim to be.

  3. birgerjohansson says

    Is this some kind of post-structuralist thing? “Happy molecules” ???

  4. says

    [..] being a dishonest fraud is profitable

    I tried being an honest fraud, but that didn’t work out at all.

  5. ck, the Irate Lump says

    cartomancer wrote:

    Seems to be working out okay for Donald Trump these days…

    Given how often the things he says are blatent lies, I don’t think “honest” is a word to describe him.

  6. Intaglio says

    I’m waiting for one of these persons of restricted sense to come up with things like:
    “Rhubarb leaves are good for you,” (don’t even think about it, oxalic acid poisoning is nasty)
    “Belladonna – the natural cure for poor vision”
    “Have your child swim with the Humbolt squid to cure autism/cardiomyopathy/liverdamage”
    “Boost your spiritual energy! Drink this water gathered from the sacred Ganges during Kumbh Mela,”