I am afraid to read it


tingleholiday

The infamous Chuck Tingle has released a new book for the season: Oppressed In The Butt By My Inclusive Holiday Coffee Cups. It’s free if you have Kindle Unlimited, or $2.99 if you want to own this remarkable piece of literature.

A synopsis:

Former preacher turned viral video sensation, Jabua Fogstein, lives for the holidays; the sights, the smells, and especially the tastes. In fact, he’s so excited to trying out his favorite coffee, Starbutts Christmas blend, that he camps out overnight for the introduction of their brand new red holiday cups.

But when Jabua receives his coffee, he finds himself in a waking nightmare, discovering that the cups have been redesigned in sleek plain red, without a trace of Christmas imagery.

The shock causes Jabua to suffer a major heart attack and lands him in the hospital, but he’s about to receive some visitors what will open both his heart, and his butt. Soon enough, Jabua finds himself at the center of a hardcore gangbang with these handsome gay cups, and learns a little something about holiday spirit!

This erotic tale is 4,700 words of sizzling human on gay holiday cup action, including anal, double anal, blowjobs, rough sex, cream pies, gangbangs, bukkake, and beverage container love.

The cream pies sound nice, but if they have some other meaning in the context of gay sex, don’t tell me about it.

Comments

  1. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    I don’t have any desire to read it, but damn just the summary is making me laugh.

  2. themadtapper says

    The cream pies sound nice, but if they have some other meaning in the context of gay sex, don’t tell me about it.

    It has another meaning with regard to sex period, whether gay or straight. Doesn’t particularly need much imagination to figure out what.

  3. robro says

    That was a pretty fast turn around from minor social phenomena to published ebook with cover artwork. And I learn something new everyday with today being a twofer. I didn’t need to know it, but now I do and I realize that humans continue to fulfill their biblical obligation to name the beast.

  4. Reginald Selkirk says

    The shock causes Jabua to suffer a major heart attack and lands him in the hospital, but he’s about to receive some visitors what will open both his heart…

    A cardiac surgery team, no doubt.

  5. Reginald Selkirk says

    It has another meaning with regard to sex period, whether gay or straight.

    Do Lesbians have cream pies?

  6. blf says

    I’ll just wait for the movie.

    Unfortunately, thesedays, with Intertubes sites like Yourshakeyvideo and so on, that may not be very long…

    (I do not object to such sites, albeit I am quite snarky about much of the content. So, as clarification, the above is not a rant about AV rapid- / self-publishing or similar…)

  7. themadtapper says

    Do Lesbians have cream pies?

    I suppose they would have to borrow the cream, but yes lesbian could have them too.

  8. Anders Kehlet says

    #5 Reginald: Fun fact: You can buy lube that’s designed to look like semen and dildos with an inner tube (optionally in the shape of a dragon penis)… The things you learn on the internet, eh?

  9. woozy says

    It has another meaning with regard to sex period, whether gay or straight. Doesn’t particularly need much imagination to figure out what.

    Apparently one needs more imagination than I have, unfortunately.

    That was a pretty fast turn around from minor social phenomena to published ebook with cover artwork.

    I get the feeling Mr. Tingle works fast without much concern with polish.

    I have to admit this is the most appropriate response to the controversial issue that I’ve come across.

  10. blf says

    I get the feeling Mr. Tingle works fast without much concern with polish.

    There’s lots of “polish”, albeit probably not of the written material: He has to use all the spittle which covers his screen, keyboard, desk, and cat for something

  11. says

    I think if people have indicated that they don’t want to imagine something, it’s terribly impolite to sneak clues up to them. If they want to know, they can google for all the spoilers they want.

  12. blf says

    I really do live under a rock…

    Not under a rock per se, but under a rabble of forty-foot high killer rats (or at least under their nest). The “rocks” are, well, um, have you heard of droppings…?

  13. says

    blf:

    Not under a rock per se, but under a rabble of forty-foot high killer rats (or at least under their nest).

    Ah yes, and another rat joined us on Tuesday, so the er, rocks, got heavier. Yep.

  14. Bob Foster says

    I made the mistake of googling bukkake. I thought it might be something erotic that one did with sushi or Japanese seaweed. It’s not.

  15. says

    Bob Foster @18:

    I made the mistake of googling bukkake. I thought it might be something erotic that one did with sushi or Japanese seaweed. It’s not.

    No, it’s really not, is it?

    Heads up, everyone! We’ve got a brain bleach event on the thread! We need pictures of baby animals stat!

  16. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    Because I write about sex and society, there are plenty of terms for which I have no use but for which I have learned a definition. I like to think I do have an imagination, thanks, but many terms, including cream pie have definitions that would never have occurred to me.

    Don’t forget that this depends in part on your imagination and in part on what sex interests you and in part on what sex is possible for you and, lastly, in part on how much time you spend thinking about how other people talk about sex.

    It seems I have yet to understand some of the common mindsets that might characterize sexually active guys.

  17. sugarfrosted says

    @20 I feel that mentioning it without context I don’t think anyone really would know what it met out of the box, but adding the context I think more people could extrapolate.

  18. Azkyroth, B*Cos[F(u)]==Y says

    I made the mistake of googling bukkake. I thought it might be something erotic that one did with sushi or Japanese seaweed. It’s not.

    Bukkake is a Japanese word that means “some people will do anything for money.”

  19. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    @sugarfrosted, #21:
    Agreed. I’m experienced enough in writing about such, ahem, issues that I could probably gotten it with a bit of context before I read a definition. Not how it happened for me in real life, but yes. Could have done.

    @Azkyroth, #22:

    So…
    eating sea urchin sushi with your boss constitutes bukkake? That’s new information for me. Yuck, sea urchin.*

    ======
    *I kid, I kid. I believe I do know what bukkake is, and as a stand alone your joke was fine. Perhaps I should have left well enough alone… but SEA URCHIN SUSHI. What mad torturer thought of that?

  20. blf says

    Hey! What’s wrong with sea urchin sushi? The mildly deranged penguin is frowning (never a good sign), saying “No cheese for you!”