Aren’t they lovely?
I suspect they are also Cthulhu-approved. You will suffer, puny human, and you will go mad.
Pharyngula
Evolution, development, and random biological ejaculations from a godless liberal
Aren’t they lovely?
I suspect they are also Cthulhu-approved. You will suffer, puny human, and you will go mad.
Awesome as a sculpture. As a shoe it looks painful and dangerous.
My feet hurt and I’m only looking at the things!
A boon to chiropodists? ‘Merkan foot-binding? Man’s inhumanity to Woman? You choose…
I definitely don’t need these shoes: my feet look exactly like that.
They suck.
“Aren’t they lovely?”
Yep… until my incisors are knocked out and I end up with three lips…
Only a sucker for punishment would wear them.
The perfect gift for the nautically-themed super villain’s moll who has everything.
You are correct. I approve of them. I, err, have a small foot fetish
Hm, it would be great if they would actually suck. Aka, if the suckers would be functional, enabling the wearer to walk on walls and ceilings
Your ankle couldn’t handle it, PZ.
If they moved, a la Davey Jones tentacles from the POTC films, then they’d be cool. Otherwise too static and painful. We need more robot engineers studying cephalopoda.
Fucking hell. Those are fairly epic :)
I think you’re supposed to suffer in those.
Suffering is a feature, not a bug.
The first picture looks really cool. The second picture makes my gut clench in sympathetic anxiety for everyone society expects to ever wear high heels. They may be nominally shoes but they look like deathtraps.
If they moved, a la Davey Jones tentacles from the POTC films, then they’d be cool.
If they were a pair of organic machines that gripped and conformed to the shape of the wearer’s feet, adjusted the position of the feet (as in variable-height heels, arch support, etc.), and responded to ground conditions to vary traction as needed and protect the feet from harm, that would be really cool, in a cute practical hentai sort of way.
Shoes like this would probably not go with a business suit of any sort. I wonder what sort of going-out dress they’d match…
Raging Bee
Something with 8 rows of quite large sequins.
They’re epic, for sure, but they need a different curvature on a few of the tentacles to make them dance-able. The way things are right now, they’d just slip right off.