I expect wild applause!


cookie

I am home, all alone, except for the cat.

I have completed all of the grading, and have submitted all of the grades, and am completely done with the semester. I was hoping to get a pat on the head or a cookie, but nope, the place is all empty and quiet. Except for the cat. And she just sank her claws into my thigh, rather than handing out cookies.

Maybe I’ll kick back and read a book. Or take a nap. Or try to read a book and take a nap instead. There are amazing awe-inspiring vistas of non-grade-book based activities ahead of me now.

Comments

  1. Menyambal says

    *wild applause*

    I funked out of grading first-grade math, yesterday, so anybody grading college finals has my awed respect (and odd respect).

    Congratulations. Please enjoy some rest.

    *wild applause*

  2. Hoosier X says

    Your timing is perfect.

    Both Ben Carson and Mike Huckabee both officially announced their candidacies today!

    Expect lots of comparisons of Obamacare and slavery. And the U.S. government will be frequently likened to Nazi Germany.

    (And we’ll also hear that both sides do it, but don’t expect many citations that actually demonstrate the claim.)

  3. NitricAcid says

    Yay!!

    I will raise a glass to our shared accomplishment, once I no longer have to do any driving for the day.

  4. kosk11348 says

    In addition to simply being a tremendous workload, I imagine their may be a certain amount of emotional stress to grading as well. While I’m sure students are given the grade they have earned, it must be hard to give poor marks to a student who is genuinely applying themselves. I think it would be difficult to flunk a student I liked. Not that I wouldn’t do it, just that it would be difficult.

  5. Becca Stareyes says

    Cats don’t appreciate how much work grading is. They’d rather just sleep on the papers.

  6. slithey tove (twas brillig (stevem)) says

    Here’s a Peanut-Butter Chocolate Chip cookie (PBC^2) for you!! Cheers.

  7. numerobis says

    she just sank her claws into my thigh

    Awww, she’s congratulating you for a job well done!

  8. robertfoster says

    Only one cat? No, no, no! You’re doing it all wrong. You need at least two cats.

    You see, it’s like this. With one cat she starts thinking she’s a human, albeit one with severe limitations (no thumb to open the tuna can being one of the very worst). Despite those, she’ll start seeing you as an equal. And that’s when the trouble begins. Claws in the thighs are just the first sign of things going south. Before you know it there’s eyeball scratching and nose biting as you sleep. And possibly much, much worse if you sleep in the raw.

    Now, with a second cat she’ll come to realize, oh, I must be one of those, and not a big monkey like you (with severe limitations). She’ll hang with the other cat, play with it, scratch its thighs and eyeballs and not yours. And if you leave town for a few days, you don’t have to worry about it getting lonely, angry, resentful and prone to plotting against you and your possessions.

    Now, with three or four cats you get a little kitty pride. Then she doesn’t need you at all and in time they will all gang up on you and try to kill you .

  9. says

    Congrats, PZ! Job well done!

    Have a cookie and take a nap. The entire universe loves you for completing your grading duties on time.

  10. llyris says

    Or you could bake some cookies. Then you’ll have delicious warm cookies.

  11. eeyore says

    Everyone needs a cat for those times when something happens you can’t blame your spouse for.

  12. Usernames! (ᵔᴥᵔ) says

    Only one cat? No, no, no! You’re doing it all wrong. You need at least two cats.

    Now, with three or four cats you get a little kitty pride. Then she doesn’t need you at all and in time they will all gang up on you and try to kill you .
    — robertfoster (#14)

    We could all chip in an get PZ a starter kit. If we have money left over, we can throw in a storage container for the spares.

  13. blf says

    Or you could bake some cookies. Then you’ll have delicious warm cookies.

    No, he’ll have carbonized burnt ex-cookies.
    Because he’s been napping. Or treed by a cat. Possibly both.

  14. Lofty says

    You’ll have endless hours to endulge in Irish Wanker baiting, throwing crunchies for the cat to chase, and shouting at the kids to get off your lawn. Enjoy your time off.

  15. says

    Actually, I have 3 talks to prepare, a wedding speech, fish to take care of (summer research season starts at the end of May, and a secret project to scribble on. The wanker will have to wank all by himself.

  16. Trebuchet says

    Cats, indeed, have no problem napping. Unless it’s 4:00 AM; in which case they are mewing in my ear. Afternoons, they tell ME when it’s time for my nap. And no matter how warm it is, a blanket is required because they have to be under it.

    It really humanizes PZ somehow to see him being owned by a cat.

  17. magistramarla says

    Ah, that last week of frantic grading is something that I definitely don’t miss about teaching.
    Enjoy your summer, PZ. They end all too soon.
    My cat has been my therapy cat while I’ve been recovering from surgery. Even my hubby’s cat has joined us on the recliner for naps.

  18. Ariaflame, BSc, BF, PhD says

    I’m trying to think about when I’ll reach the point where I have no marking to do. I’m unable to project that far into the future.

    I wonder if ’empty’ is a reference to their thought processes?

  19. Thumper: Who Presents Boxes Which Are Not Opened says

    Woot! *wild applause*

    And [the cat] just sank her claws into my thigh, rather than handing out cookies.

    That’s cats for you. “Silly hoomin; who cares about yur acheefments? I iz hungry! U haz awoken… da clawr!”

    Get a dog, they’re much more supportive.

  20. Menyambal says

    Yeah, naps seem nappier with a couple of dogs and a cat or three to share the bed. The naps don’t last as long, but there is something to be said for relaxed company.

  21. wcorvi says

    One spring, after grading, I took a wine appreciation course, summer interim term. The prof had to keep repeating, “Slow down, pay attention!”

  22. empty says

    #30 #31
    I still have a final to give and 80 odd finals/projects to grade. As the world clearly revolves around me, (I have empirical proof of this) PZ’s gloating is clearly insensitive, immoral, and something else beginning with an i.