Moms can be awesome


What would harassers do if their mothers found out about their behavior? A Peruvian TV show found serial cat-callers on the streets of Lima, and then gave their mothers a make-over so they wouldn’t be obviously recognizable and had them walk past their sons. It’s quite nice to see the mothers rip into them.

The poor little boys look terrified.

Comments

  1. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    Those confrontations looked almost too funny not to be staged, but this was pretty awesome anyway.

    At the end:

    If you harass women, don’t wait for us to get you to harass your own mother to start respecting them.

  2. azhael says

    xDDD That first idiot instantly became 7 years old again the moment he realised it was his mum. I don’t think this kind of thing is likely to have any real impact in what is such a deep and extensive problem, but at the very least it was a laugh to see a moron who thinks himself a man, being shown as the pathetic little boy he really is. Always fun.

    I do have to say , though, that regardless of effectiveness, it’s nice to see this kind of thing coming from a peruvian show.

  3. says

    @ azhael #4:

    I don’t think this kind of thing is likely to have any real impact in what is such a deep and extensive problem

    No single action will. There’s no magic wand to fix deep problems, but engaging with them, even a little, does more than belittling others’ earnest attempts while throwing our hands in the air and giving up because the problem is just too big.

  4. Sastra says

    When I moved from Chicago area to a small town of approx 6,000 I discovered that this sort of verbal harassment is pretty much nonexistent. You might tell their mother, you might tell their wives, you might turn out to be the recess monitor in their children’s school. If it’s a construction site you may go complain to their boss. I don’t know. It’s just not done. Maybe it never got started in the first place. Iirc I once checked with my daughter to see if it was age-related, but no, she admitted the stranger thing was pretty rare here.

    Is this useful? A return to the idea of neighborhoods? Foster a sense of community and individual recognition? Probably not.

    I don’t know what it would take.

  5. says

    “@ azhael #4:
    I don’t think this kind of thing is likely to have any real impact in what is such a deep and extensive problem”

    the fact that this could even have been THOUGHT of in the first place shows how far we’ve come. These guys are gonna have to live the rest of their lives having cat-called their freakin’ MOMS

  6. rq says

    Woooow, that was good! :D
    Love the last line, and I quote Beatrice quoting:

    If you harass women, don’t wait for us to get you to harass your own mother to start respecting them.

  7. caseyrock says

    My understanding was that the video itself consisted of actors, but that it was scripted using feedback from interviews with men and their mothers who had been in similar situations. I’d be curious to know more about it, if anyone has additional information.

  8. Nentuaby says

    What Moggie said at #1. This whole “tell their moms” fad is cute, and really satisfying, on the surface level. The subtler implications, however, are disturbing and regressive. Let’s make harassment a woman’s problem! It’s those damn mothers not doing their part to fix patriarchy for men!

  9. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    vytautasjanaauskas,

    Thanks for linking that article. The video is nevertheless funny, and the message it sends good.

  10. chris says

    From fifth grade through high school graduation I spent all but two years in South and Central America. That behavior was incredibly common. What really got us is that those guys would cat call my younger sisters who were under age thirteen.

  11. opposablethumbs says

    I don’t think it matters whether it’s staged or not, really. It gets women and men who see the show or the clip laughing at street harassers, and that’s a good, good laugh.

    Definitely a good thing, and no of course it’s not going to magically solve the problem all on its own – but the juxtaposition of a man’s self-image that goes with shitty harassing behaviour, and a self-image that goes with “my mother just got harassed” (which is an insult to me, ’cause my mother) AND holy-shit-I-just-said-that-to-my-own-mother AND the fact that the harasser’s mother gives him hell, loudly, in public, while he squirms like a not-adult version of himself … it’s a valuable, somewhat head-explodey juxtaposition.

  12. thetalkingstove says

    @ Nentuaby

    This whole “tell their moms” fad is cute, and really satisfying, on the surface level. The subtler implications, however, are disturbing and regressive. Let’s make harassment a woman’s problem! It’s those damn mothers not doing their part to fix patriarchy for men!

    I agree this is often a problem with this approach. But given the message at the end –

    If you harass women, don’t wait for us to get you to harass your own mother to start respecting them.

    – I think in this particular case the emphasis is pretty firmly on the perpetrator’s responsibility, and not their mothers.

  13. a_ray_in_dilbert_space says

    On the one hand, I agree that it would be nice if their friends would simply bash them on the head when they act so stupidly. After all, assholes like this make me ashamed to be male.

    On the other hand, it does speak to the fact that their own mother is also a woman. Maybe some will be perspicacious enough to think, “Gee, I wonder if my mother has ever had to endure abuse like that…or my sister…or my wife…”

    Now, granted, if they had that much on the ball, they probably wouldn’t be such assholes, but we can hope.

  14. Matrim says

    @7, Sastra

    I think you just got lucky. I live in an area where there are a scattering of small towns ranging from 1400 to 7000 people, and I know people who’ve regularly dealt with harassment there.

    @13, Nentuaby

    I’m not saying you’re wrong, that’s totally a valid impression, but the impression I get is different. I see it more as one thing that might make people examine their behavior. Not that it’s the job of either women or mothers. It’s not suggesting that women change their behavior, it’s suggesting that men change their behavior. I certainly don’t see ” It’s those damn mothers not doing their part to fix patriarchy for men!” as being the primary message, I see more “what would your mother think?” shaming (which I suppose has problematic interpretations of its own).

    Either way, I agree that it’s sad that men don’t take more responsibility for their role in upholding harassment culture, and that if people (like the friend who was walking with the first guy) would call their peers out when stuff like this happens we’d have a much better society and less hostile society.

  15. vytautasjanaauskas says

    @16

    It is for a good cause now but I find the fact that otherwise clever people can have their perception of reality so easily distorted by cheap PR tricks very disturbing. You have to turn your brain completely off to think that video has a slightest chance of being what it claims to be. It is for a good cause today but it won’t be for a good cause tomorrow. Here’s a good if slightly unrelated video about media manipulation.

  16. magistramarla says

    When my daughter was sharing a house with a couple of other girls, they often dealt with catcalling by construction workers building new homes in the subdivision. My daughter is an animal trainer. She had her huge German Shepherd living with her (he’s my mobility dog now). She trained him to bark and growl menacingly every time he heard a wolf whistle. She then took him jogging with her and let him do his thing when the catcalling began. The construction workers backed off and avoided the young women with the big dog from then on.

  17. Sili says

    and avoided the young women with the big dog from then on

    And the young women without any dogs … ?

  18. a_ray_in_dilbert_space says

    vytautasjanaauskas,
    One need not think that the video is a true documentary to see the point of the video: Hey, dude, do you talk to your mother like that? How would you feel if someone talked to your mother/sister/wife… like that?

  19. dorght says

    I liked the message that the were trying to convey, what I didn’t like was the prompting for physical violence. The calls for violence started at the beginning and lasted to the end.

  20. says

    I had to pause it three times, I was laughing so hard. Absolutely brilliant.

    Moggie (#1) –

    So once again making it women’s responsibility to fix men’s behaviour?

    Yes, it shouldn’t happen to begin with, and women shouldn’t have be the ones doing it. But it’s not going to stop on its own, it’s got to start somewhere. If one or two examples on TV stop thousands of men from doing it and gets the ball (or heads) rolling, then it’s efficient and effective.

  21. randay says

    #28 LeftOver1under. I agree with you and I don’t understand #1’s “So once again making it women’s responsibility to fix men’s behaviour?”, nor those in a similar vein. How is anyone going to fix men’s behavior? Women, in this case mothers, can help undo the things that these men have learned from their peer group. Even if it was staged, it makes a good point: one of those is women taking charge.

    It’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it. Most men are not going to because of aforesaid peer pressure. As a man, I know because of the responses I have received in criticizing other men for such behavior.

  22. JAL: Snark, Sarcasm & Bitterness says

    randay

    #28 LeftOver1under. I agree with you and I don’t understand #1’s “So once again making it women’s black people’s responsibility to fix men’s white people behaviour?”, nor those in a similar vein. How is anyone going to fix men’swhites behavior? Women Black people, in this case mothers, can help undo the things that these men whites have learned from their peer group. Even if it was staged, it makes a good point: one of those is women black people taking charge.
    It’s a dirty job, but someone has to do it. Most menwhites are not going to because of aforesaid peer pressure. As a man white person , I know because of the responses I have received in criticizing other white people for such behavior.

    Notice how “anyone” is defaulted to only men as people. Notice how you have problems bringing it up to your peer group even with your privilege and make it out as worse than when the discriminated members point it out. Notice how you are shrugging it off as not you problem and are unwilling to lose your privilege by doing the right thing. Notice how you ignore or are ignorant of how you, as a man, are more likely to make a difference to your peer group. Notice how when changed mothers are still targeted because gender stereotype and norms being the one to raise children while fathers check out.

    Just like making *rape victims* the ones to stop rape.

    How do you combat peer pressure? By standing up to your peers and rallying more to do so. Outside pressure can only do so much. Caine has links for how targeting men, especially by other men is so effective. (Will try to find, check our wiki. Have issues with commenting)

    Basically stop being a lazy selfish ass and expecting people with little to no power to do all the damn work. Be a better ally. Step the fuck up. If our male “allies” agree but won’t do anything what’s the point? How is anything going to change? Its always the lazy middle of privileged people that are the biggest hurdle so why not join us instead of blocking the way next to your peers and being silent?

    Fuck, go fucking read, listen and learn. I’m tired of educating lazy fucking men having to hold their fucking hand. Have some intellectual curiosity and responsibility to cure your ignorance, you are not a helpless child and women are done doing your fucking dirty work, and not just in the kitchen.

    Note: Keyboard broke, typing with on screen.

  23. randay says

    #30 JAL, your “editing” doesn’t make any sense. Well that goes for the rest of you post as well. It is not only your keyboard that is broken, but your though process–if I dare call it that–too.

    I don’t see how any of your ravings have anything to do with me. What makes you think I didn’t stand up to my peers? What makes you think that I am “a lazy selfish ass”? I think it is long past time that you pulled your head out of your ass.