Comments

  1. says

    Joni Ernst’s campaign (see comment #496) isn’t the only thing going wrong in Iowa politics.

    A new attack ad by the Karl Rove-founded group American Crossroads included a curious citation: a widely panned Heritage Foundation study on immigration reform which was co-written by a scholar who once argued against letting immigrants with low IQs into the country.

    The ad attacks Rep. Bruce Braley, the Democratic candidate for U.S. Senate in Iowa, on Obamacare before pivoting to immigration reform. At 0:21 into the ad text reads “Bruce Braley: Giving Lawbreakers Food Stamps and Medicare”; at the bottom is a citation to “The Heritage Foundation, 5/6/13.” […]

    […] one of the authors of the study in question, was Jason Richwine who argued that immigrants with low IQs should be barred from coming to the country. The result of that, according to Richwine, would be that HIspanics, who tend to have low IQs according to him, would be kept from coming to the United States.

    The study was panned even by libertarian think tank the Cato Institute, which called the research “fatally flawed.” Richwine resigned from the Heritage Foundation following the criticism, and the Heritage Foundation itself eventually disavowed the study.

    Talking Points Memo link.

    That’s right, Republicans are still using debunked “studies” and “research” to claim that the U.S. Government is giving food stamps and medicare to criminals and drug addicts.

  2. David Marjanović says

    Just 3 links to dump this time.

    Tom Tomorrow about the war.

    I’m not sure I quite understand this article, but it makes me rather optimistic. Also, it has a great poll at the bottom. ^_^

    “The current Princeton Alumni Weekly features an eye opening story about race, privilege and status in America. The article was written by a courageous Princeton alumnus, Lawrence Graham (’83).

    Graham, like many of his fellow alums, has been very successful in his career. Like Samuel Alito, (Princeton ’72) he is male and a lawyer. Like Michelle Obama, (Princeton ’85) he is black.”

  3. Pteryxx says

    Eclipse alert for Wednesday morning, with bonus selenelion for the eastern Americas: CBS News

    Observers of Wednesday morning’s total lunar eclipse might be able to catch sight of an extremely rare cosmic sight.

    On Oct. 8, Interested skywatchers should attempt to see the total eclipse of the moon and the rising sun simultaneously. The little-used name for this effect is called a “selenelion,” a phenomenon that celestial geometry says cannot happen.

    And indeed, during a lunar eclipse, the sun and moon are exactly 180 degrees apart in the sky. In a perfect alignment like this (called a “syzygy”), such an observation would seem impossible. But thanks to Earth’s atmosphere, the images of both the sun and moon are apparently lifted above the horizon by atmospheric refraction. This allows people on Earth to see the sun for several extra minutes before it actually has risen and the moon for several extra minutes after it has actually set.

  4. cicely says

    Sad Cat Diary

    Dalillama, I did mean “unusually large“. I was very pleased; I know that Monarchs have been having problems.

    Tony!:

    “It doesn’t offend me, it shouldn’t offend you.” The complaints of sexists, racists, homophobes, transphobes and more can be distilled down to those two sentences.

    Yup. And the closely-related, “If it doesn’t matter to me, then it doesn’t matter at all“.
    I see them as sub-sets, of “Fuck you, I got mine!”

    rq, I hadn’t seen the Running of the Squirrels video before.
    I have now inflicted it on all my friends, in accordance with the custom.
    :D

  5. says

    Bad news for democracy, and for voters in Wisconsin: a three-judge panel has approved Wisconsin’s voter-restriction law. The judges are all Republican-appointed conservatives, and they mentioned in their ruling that “voter fraud” was a legitimate concern. It is not.

    The ruling specifically pointed to a Republican voter in Milwaukee accused of 13 counts of voter fraud – none of which, ironically, would have been prevented by a voter-ID law.

    Maddow blog link.

    Approximately 300,000 Wisconsin voters will possibly be disenfranchised by this law. The law is also likely to make the difference for Republicans, re-electing the odious Scott Walker as governor, and equally odious Republicans for other seats.

    Elections-law expert Rick Hasen was clearly disgusted: “Judge Easterbrook picks out the evidence from the record he likes, and dismisses the evidence he does not like…. The opinion is also full of things that make my blood boil.”

    More here:
    http://www.msnbc.com/msnbc/court-upholds-wisconsin-voter-id-law-scotus-mulls-case

    Previous discussion of Scott Walker in the Lounge. Also Here.

  6. says

    Another addition to our Republicans/Rightwingers-saying-stupid-stuff file:

    An “analyst” trained in the very, very discredited “Bible Code” method, which tries to predict future events through letters in the Bible, has come out with some big news: President Obama is in the Bible Code, and he is probably the Antichrist.

    Bible Code-breaker Jonathan Wright appeared on “Trunews” last week, where he told host Rick Wiles that Obama is either the Antichrist or the harbinger of the Antichrist. Not only does the Bible Code prove this to be the case, says Wright, but so does Obama’s non-existent Muslim wedding ring. […]

    http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/bible-code-definitively-proves-obama-antichrist

  7. Saad says

    Lynna, OM #7,

    Yup, that actual picture of it looks nothing like the first part of the shahada. Looks more like a brooch from the set of Beowulf.

    I’m surprised Donald Trump didn’t have something to say about that. Actually, I doubt he’s knowledgable enough to know what that even is.

  8. says

    Fucking awesome. Our rent went up from $750 to $825, and neither my roommate nor I knew anything about it. We’re now being told that we owe money that neither he nor I even have. FUCK.

  9. cicely says

    David Marjanović:

    Tom Tomorrow about the war.

    My favorite:
    “You never know who’s listening.
    Please speak clearly so we can hear you.”

  10. rq says

    Tony
    *hugs*
    Is there any way to help at short notice? (I’m afraid I’m only good for the future. :( )

  11. says

    rq:
    I don’t think so.

    ****
    Portia:
    Yeah, we do.

    E talked to our rental agent. She said we just have to turn in $225 by Saturday, which gives us a few days. But dammit, I’m trying to get out of the hole I’m in and this just does. not. help.

  12. Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate) says

    What does the lease say about the amount of rent? Is your lease term up?

  13. rq says

    Tony
    I think Portia’s tingly attorney-senses have been woken. ;)
    If there’s any way to help, please let me know.

  14. Pteryxx says

    Tony – IANAL (and Portia is, of course *bow*) but there’s some info out there on renter’s rights in each state. Here’s the one from (Nolo.com) for Florida, and here’s a source from the Landlord Protection Agency site. For instance, *no late fees can be charged* unless late fees are spelled out in a lease, and that’s true even in a rental situation with no written lease. (Nolo source) Your rental agent *should* be familiar with this stuff too (emphasis on *should* of course).

    If you need the Horde signal to go up, do ask sooner rather than later since they’re only giving you until Saturday.

    JAL, you have an email again. ;>

  15. annie55 says

    Wow…catching up is impossible!

    Needed some lounge time after all I’ve been reading, and then to hear of Tony’s sitch. Does FTB have a donation policy for posters. I’d like to help, such as I can.

    And I was also wondering, after the depressing gamergate thread, if there were any knowledgeable folks who can tell me if there are any games along the lines of Myst, Shivers, The 11th Hour, and The Last Express around today.? I dived into these games when at the age of 40, I discovered that computers were not the necessarily the instruments of Satan. But it seemed like those kinds of games faded away rather quickly and I basically lost interest. Just wondering.

  16. Morgan!? Militant Pacifist says

    Dear Hordelings,

    What does the Horde Signal look like? The outline of a rampaging tardigrade? Something squidly? Graphic designers out there, help me out.

  17. says

    Pteryxx @20:

    If you need the Horde signal to go up, do ask sooner rather than later since they’re only giving you until Saturday.

    I think I’ll raise it now. I really don’t want to be stressed out trying to make money (especially given that my refrigerator is also pretty bare, which I was hoping money this week would take care of).
    If anyone is able to help out that would be great.

    ****

    Anne @21:

    Needed some lounge time after all I’ve been reading, and then to hear of Tony’s sitch. Does FTB have a donation policy for posters. I’d like to help, such as I can.

    There’s nothing official through FtB. We call it the Horde fund. Basically when someone raises the signal saying that they need some financial assistance, those who are in the position to donate money and the money is usually sent to one person who collects it and disperses it to the individual in need. PayPal is usually the most convenient method (though not always; some people don’t like PayPal or cannot use it). In the past the both Portia and Esteleth have collected funds.

    I’d be grateful for whatever help anyone was able to give.

  18. FossilFishy (NOBODY, and proud of it!) says

    I just posted this on facebook:

    Unless you heard “…girt by sea…” your erection is misplaced.

    and had that strange moment of wonder, the one where you’re pretty sure no one in the history of humanity has used that exact combination of words before.

  19. rq says

    Well, the cats have some weird power dynamic going on. OriginalCat will growl and hiss and stand his grouund, but run away as soon as a viable exit opens up, while NewCat will cower appropriately until his back is turned, at which point she will chase after him until he turns around again. However, they are not physically fighting or killing each other, so I’m chalking this one up to a success-to-be.

  20. says

    I just discovered that DC women kicking ass uses Disqus, so I can comment! I haz a happy. I haven’t signed up to tumblr, and it doesn’t look like that system is set up to allow comments anyways (maybe I’m wrong, but all the tumblr’s I’ve visited don’t seem to have comments sections) which is annoying.

  21. says

    So… apparently sinus issues can trigger migraines.

    Oh, fucking joy…

    Three days off allergy meds, and I’ve just spent the day in pain and dry heaving.

    Fuck the world, I’m off to hide in bed.

    /whine

  22. carlie says

    Today in “just burn the system to the ground”: severely abused woman put in jail longer than her abuser for failure to adequately protect her son from the abuse (CN: sexual assault of a minor described, physical abuse of woman described) The man in question was sentenced for 15 years in jail; she was sentenced to 20. The court said she should have left, although they testified that they had left once, and he had tracked them down and forced them back. One of the prosecutors says that it’s her fault that she got sentenced to more time, because the man took a plea bargain and she took the risk of going to trial. Just… fuck everything.

  23. rq says

    carlie
    Wow. If they were going to give her the 20 years, I think they should have reviewed the rapist’s sentence and given him twice that. Or just twice whatever they gave her.
    But in the end she should not be doing any time at all, never never never never never…………. Fucking justice, how does it work?

  24. birgerjohansson says

    Japan Nobel winner is salaryman who took on bosses http://phys.org/news/2014-10-japan-nobel-winner-salaryman-bosses.html I remember this lawsuit. He only got a $ 200 bonus for making millions for the company by the breakthrough that now won the Nobel prize.
    .
    Flu season http://satwcomic.com/flu-season
    .
    Jesus had a Hitler moustache http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/uncategorized/jesus-had-a-hitler-moustache-2014100791460
    .
    Otters just wet cats http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/environment/otters-just-wet-cats-2014100791441

  25. birgerjohansson says

  26. says

    Am I the only one where FTB is acting up?

    I hate people. Apparently somebody stole #1’s rabbit. Yesterday my father found the hutch closed but empty, no signs of a fight or predator, no signs of the rabbit. What a complete waste of skin does something like that?

    +++
    Tony
    *hugs*
    Who’s collecting the funds?
    Also, have you thought about putting up a donate button on your blog?
    +++

  27. says

    My morning so far: Got up, took morning pills, fed cats, fed Husband, went back to bed after Younger Daughter got up, and fell asleep, just woke up again. Haven’t done that in a while.

    I am revising my plans for the day; I think I’ll have more tea and some breakfast and then see what I actually feel like doing, because I must need a day off.

    *refills basket of hugs*

    Giliell, that’s mean and nasty – who would steal a little kid’s pet rabbit?

  28. says

    As we’ve discussed many times, Republican legislators have guaranteed control of some states by gerrymandering voting districts. We the citizens really need the courts to put a stop to this. It looks like some progress was made recently in Virgina, but there’s still a long way to go.

    In the 2012 elections, nearly 4 million Virginians showed up to cast a ballot, and in U.S. House races, Republicans narrowly prevailed, receiving support from about 51% of the state’s electorate. Virginia has 11 congressional districts, so it’s easy to assume that the commonwealth’s delegation would roughly match voters’ will, perhaps with six Republican House members to Democrats’ five.

    […] wrong. GOP House candidates may have earned 51% of the votes statewide, but they ended up with 8 of the 11 House seats (roughly 73%).

    This happened, of course, because Virginia Republicans drew the district lines carefully to ensure these results. Yesterday, however, the GOP’s map was rejected in a federal court.

    A panel of federal judges on Tuesday declared Virginia’s congressional maps unconstitutional because they concentrate African American voters into a single district at the expense of their influence elsewhere. […]

    Note, this will not have any effect on this year’s congressional races. [Pity!] State lawmakers are facing an April 2015 deadline […] the process remains uncertain.

    […] gerrymandering has become the subject of new scrutiny. Indeed, we learned earlier this week that the Supreme Court may shake up the process even more.

    […] there’s a case out of Arizona that’s well worth watching.
    The Supreme Court said Thursday it will consider a challenge by Arizona Republicans to the state’s congressional districting map. […]

    http://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/federal-court-rejects-racial-gerrymandering-virginia

  29. says

    Yet another addition to our Republicans-saying-stupid-stuff file:

    “The problem is with Mark Pryor and Barack Obama refusing to enforce our immigration laws, and refusing to secure our border. I’ll change that when I’m in the United States Senate. And I would add, it’s not just an immigration problem. We now know that it’s a security problem. Groups like the Islamic State collaborate with drug cartels in Mexico who have clearly shown they’re willing to expand outside the drug trade into human trafficking and potentially even terrorism.

    “They could infiltrate our defenseless border and attack us right here in places like Arkansas. This is an urgent problem and it’s time we got serious about it, and I’ll be serious about it in the United States Senate.”

    That’s Rep. Tom Cotton, the Republican U.S. Senate candidate in Arkansas, airing his batty conspiracy theory.

    What are the facts?

    There is no active plot or operational threat from ISIS to cross the southern border of the USA. (Many sources debunk the rightwing theory, here is one: http://time.com/3478254/isis-nrcc-border-plot-gop-2014/ )

    In the last budget year, Border Patrol agents arrested about 420.00 people. Compare that to the last time so few people were caught which was in 1973 (under 500,000). The point is that record low numbers of immigrants are trying to cross the border, and we have more agents trying to catch them. Record lows! This does not match the Rabid Republican theories. (Even the influx of children and teens does not push the number to anything like our record highs for people illegally crossing the border, which was 1.6 million people in 2000.)

    Cotton is certainly lying to Arkansas voters.

    If ISIS crosses the southern border, why would they target Arkansas?

  30. says

    Damnit, Idaho, what the heck do you think you are doing?

    Same-sex couples who lined up to get married in Idaho and made plans to obtain wedding licenses in Las Vegas had their hopes dashed Wednesday after a U.S. Supreme Court justice temporarily blocked a lower-court ruling that declared gay marriage legal in Idaho and Nevada.

    The states had joined the growing number of states where same-sex marriage is legal after the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in San Francisco ruled Tuesday that gay couples’ equal protection rights were violated by gay marriage bans in both states. […]

    Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy’s order temporarily halting gay marriage came a little more than an hour after Idaho on Wednesday filed an emergency request for an immediate stay. The state’s request said that without a stay, state and county officials would have been required to begin issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples Wednesday morning.

    Couples were already lined up to get married, but their mood turned from joyous to devastated after the stay came down. […]

    AP link.

  31. says

    Butch Otter is a dunderhead. I certainly hope Idaho voters send this guy packing in November.

    Idaho Gov. C.L. “Butch” Otter said he was glad Kennedy acted quickly.

    “I’m pleased that Justice Kennedy has given us the opportunity to make our case in a way that helps avoid the confusion some other states have faced,” Otter said. “I intend to be faithful to my oath of office and keep working to protect the Idaho Constitution and the mandate of Idaho voters in support of traditional marriage.”

  32. says

    Senator Elizabeth Warren is interviewed on the Rachel Maddow Show: Link.

    Warren made excellent points in distinguishing Democratic Party candidates from Republicans. Warren is so direct, so concise.

  33. rq says

    I’m fed up with everything today, so the kids are having a pizza night in front of the TV with Asterix and Obelix movies. I do not feel guilty.

  34. says

    Chris Hayes is hosting several excellent segments on the coal industry in the USA. He even interviewed Duke Energy’s CEO last night. Here is the backup text for that segment: http://www.msnbc.com/all/learn-more-coal-and-tobacco

    Go here to watch the video: Link.
    I am impressed by the high quality of the segments, Hayes is thorough.

    Here’s the interview with the “Dark Lord” of coal country: Link. This rich guy is such an asshole.

    More here:
    http://www.msnbc.com/all-in/watch/coal-is-done-in-appalachia-339027011878

  35. says

    I’ve been pointing out Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker’s many trips to Addled-Brain Land lately. Here’s another one: He thinks $7.25 per hour is a living wage in the USA.

    Walker’s administration has rejected the request of a group of low-wage workers to use an unusual Wisconsin law saying that the state’s minimum wage has to be a living wage. The reasoning for refusing to raise the minimum wage? They’re claiming $7.25 is a living wage:

    “The department has determined that there is no reasonable cause to believe that the wages paid to the complainants are not a living wage,” Robert Rodriguez, administrator of DWD’s Equal Rights Division, wrote in the denial letter.

    Daily Kos link.

    Well, it is below the poverty threshold for a family of two, but I guess that doesn’t sway the compassionate Republican.

    Think Progress link.

    Denise Merchant said she makes $7.25 an hour and often puts off buying diabetes test strips because she can’t afford them and couldn’t afford to fix her car when it broke down two months ago. Dan’l Scott makes $7.70 an hour and is homeless. Marvin Mayes makes $7.45 an hour sometimes has to go without buying groceries in order to make rent. Even those with higher wages described struggling: Carolyn Jackson makes $12 an hour but risks getting her lights and phone turned off because she has to choose between buying food and paying bills, plus she forgoes medication for her diabetes in order to get her son’s medication. […]

  36. rq says

    Plan for the rest of the evening: put the kids in bed, read some Coraline to them, sit in front of the fire with a glass of wine and Hermione the Kitten.

  37. says

    That’s it, I am fed up with this big black cloud of depression. On top of that, having listened to NPR and read Lynna’s posts, I am officially despairing for my nation. I’ll be over here in the pillow fort with Hobbes and my little ponies. Anyone who needs a break from the universe is welcome to join me. rq, wanna come play with shiny things?

    Actually, I’m going to glue the damn hairsticks one more time. The Crafter’s Choice didn’t stick, the E-6000 didn’t stick, but the one I did last night with 5-minute epoxy seems to be holding. So I need to clean up the parts of the other one and mix a fresh batch of goo. One of these days, I’m going to write a blog post about my experiences with commercial craft adhesives that don’t perform as advertised. Grumph.

  38. says

    If you buy and new gun and carry it openly, somebody may rob you. Not sure if this only applies to Oregon. Talking Points Memo link.

    An Oregon man openly carrying his brand new handgun was robbed of the firearm Saturday by another armed man.

    Portland TV station KPTV reported that the 21-year-old victim, who had bought a semi-automatic .22-caliber handgun earlier in the day, was openly carrying the weapon down a street in Gresham, Ore. while talking to his cousin. The two men told investigators that another man approached them on their walk and asked for a cigarette.

    Police said the group’s conversation eventually turned to the victim’s new gun. The man who asked for a cigarette allegedly pulled his own firearm from his waistband and said “I like your gun, give it to me,” according to police.

    KPTV reported that the man fled after the victim handed over his new purchase. The news station described the weapon the man used in the robbery as a black, possibly semi-automatic gun.

  39. says

    Um, SERIOUS trigger warning on that video for trans* people. Sarah Silverman is not, and has never been, our friend, as can be seen from the “sex change” title on the video, language not used by many trans* people anymore.

    Not your fault, Lynna, it’s easy to miss if you’re cis, but yeah. Any time a cis person is making jokes about how awesome things would be if they could only get a ‘sex change’, you can probably assume it’s not going to be trans-friendly, and it will definitely be appropriating our (in real life, not very pleasant) experience for a cheap joke.

    Punching down, not funny, for me. Sorry, Lynna.

  40. toska says

    Tony!
    I’m seconding Giliell’s question about a donate button on your blog. I would contribute when my funds allow if this were available.

    rq
    Hermione is an awesome name for a kitten!

    Anne
    I’ll join you in the pillow fort! I could definitely use a break from the universe this week.

  41. toska says

    Anne
    I’ll bring 2 kittehs, 3 pillows, extra cookies for all, and 1 estrogen vibe (necessary for all of my endeavors, of course).

  42. says

    Don’t worry, toska, I’ve still got some estrogen to vibe with. And the fuzzy pink ladybrainz to go with it. :p

    The second hairstick is epoxied and secured in an upright position while the glue sets, I dabbed a little black nail enamel on the headpin so it blends better with the bead, I made a pot of decaf chai, and I’m taking a break before I start picking up things around the living room so I can vacuum.

  43. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    rq,

    You need some peace and quiet too. Have a nice and restful evening.

  44. says

    The author of “What Women Really Want,” Morgan Britany, wants us all to know that President Obama has supervised the purchase of $1 billion worth of disposable FEMA coffins — something to do with his plan to infect people with Ebola.

    This ties in to the rightwing conspiracy theory that Obams wants to declare martial law, seize your guns, control the populace, etc.
    Right Wing Watch link.

  45. cicely says

    Well, at least PZ left me with one of my comics links!
    The Far Left Side

    *scritches* and commiserations for WMDKitty.

    Giliell:

    Apparently somebody stole #1’s rabbit. Yesterday my father found the hutch closed but empty, no signs of a fight or predator, no signs of the rabbit. What a complete waste of skin does something like that?

    *hugs*
    I’m sorry.
    There are a fair number of such people, unfortunately.

    Anne, *hugs*. Big Black Cloud of Depression for the FAIL.

    One of these days, I’m going to write a blog post about my experiences with commercial craft adhesives that don’t perform as advertised. Grumph.

    And on that day—or, at least, on some day thereafter—I would like to read that blog post, for I, too, am greatly dissatisfied with most craft adhesives I’ve wasted money on.
     
    If you’ll kinda scootch over a bit, I’d like to join you in the pillow fort.

  46. says

    This past weekend, mormons dove into the sludge of their semi-annual General Conference. They think they came out clean, but among many boring-unto-death speeches, their Head Honcho and Prophet/Seer/Revelator Thomas S. Monson was caught repeating almost word for word a speech he gave in 1982.

    And that’s not all the geriatric apostle got up to. He also was caught plagiarizing large portions of the speech, though a footnote was added to the published transcript in order to attribute the quote to author Ludovic Kennedy. That attribution was incorrect. The attribution given in the 1982 transcript was correct, but led readers to a vile Holocaust denier.

    In his oral speech, Monson plagiarized in 1982, and again in 2014. In 2014, mormons tried to pull a fast one and attribute the quote within the transcript to a less controversial author. Here’s what Monson said:

    Shell after shell inflicted only superficial damage on the Bismarck. Was it unsinkable after all? Then a torpedo scored a lucky hit, which jammed the Bismarck’s rudder. Repair efforts proved fruitless. With guns primed and the crews at ready, the Bismarck could only steer a slow circle. Just beyond reach was the powerful German air force. The Bismarck could not reach the safety of home port. Neither could provide the needed haven, for the Bismarck had lost the ability to steer a charted course. No rudder, no help, no port. The end drew near. British guns blazed as the German crew scuttled and sank the once seemingly indestructible vessel. The hungry waves of the Atlantic first lapped at the sides and then swallowed the pride of the German navy. The Bismarck was no more.

    Link to video and text of Monson’s 2014 speech, which should come with a brain-cell-destroyer warning.

    He stole the text above from “Hitler’s War” by David Irving. See Irving’s text below:

    Shell after shell inflicted but superficial damage. Was the Bismarck unsinkable after all? Then a torpedo scored a lucky hit which jammed the Bismarck’s rudder. Repair efforts proved fruitless. With guns primed, the crews at ready, the Bismarck could only steer a slow and stately circle. Just beyond reach was the powerful German air force. The safety of home port was ever so close. Neither could provide the needed haven, for the Bismarck had lost the ability to steer a charted course. No rudder; no help; no port. The end drew near. British guns blazed as the German crew scuttled and sank the once proud vessel. The hungry waves of the Atlantic first lapped at the sides, then swallowed the pride of the German navy. The Bismarck was no more.

    Link to Monson’s 1982 speech — same warning for brain damage if you watch it.

    David Irving is a holocaust denier — so no wonder the mormon prophet reads his tomes. Mormons were in love with Hitler during Hitler’s reign, and some of that Hitler worship lasted decades.

  47. jrfdeux, mode d'emploi says

    I’ve tried posting this here at least a dozen times, but always chickened out, with my mouse pointer hovering over “Post Comment”. I’m going to try doing this again.

    I’ve never shared this with anyone before, not my closest, best friend, not my family, no one. My older brother molested me when I was 14. He was 25. There I said it.

    He put his hands under my bathrobe and I just stood there and froze. After he was done I went into my room, closed the door and cried into a pillow. Or maybe I screamed too. I don’t exactly recall. Even today, decades later, I feel sick when I think about it. It didn’t happen again, and I remember him acting like it wasn’t a big deal.

    I feel like a coward because so many others here have been through so much worse than I, and they’re facing their pain. I feel…damaged. And child molesters of any stripe make me want to rage vomit.

    It seems Pharyngula is the only place I feel safe enough to share this. I don’t know what else to add.

  48. rq says

    jrfdeux
    *hugs*, if you accept them – you are not a coward for not wanting to tell anyone.
    And you’re allowed to have a strong reaction to someone trusted violating your personal space – there is no olympics for Worst Abused, and it is okay to feel the way you feel. Just remember it was not your fault.
    And you are not a coward.

  49. says

    An experience too many of us have something similar to, jrfdeux. *hugs* offered, if wanted, else other safe and supportive gestures as appropriate.

    Speaking up was brave, and helpful to other survivors/victims. Thank you. Each bit we are able to speak up about is another teaspoonful bailed out of the rape culture ocean. With enough teaspoons, we’ll empty it. So thank you.

  50. toska says

    jrfdeux
    I’m sorry for the abuse you’ve suffered. I don’t think you’re a coward at all for not telling people. I’m there with you in a lot of ways, and I’m not sure I will ever be ready to tell my story to anyone, and I’m not sure I even want to try to work up the courage. But I’m quietly standing in solidarity with you and others who have been abused. Much respect to you.

  51. says

    jrfdeux @62:
    Thank you for sharing your story. You have my support and deepest sympathies, and I’m glad you’ve felt comfortable and welcome enough in this space to tell your story.

  52. jrfdeux, mode d'emploi says

    Thank you rq, Anne, CaitieCat, toska for your hugs and support. It means a lot, it really does.

    I had to walk away from my computer for a bit to calm down after posting that. I’m still a bundle of nauseous nerves. In some ways not talking about it made it less real. Now that I’ve actually written and published what happened, it’s concrete and it’s scary. :-(

    I’m a mess of emotions now, and one I’ve identified is this feeling of being less of a man because I was molested. Admitting to this makes me feel like I’m weak and undesirable. Another emotion is of betraying my brother’s memory. He died some years ago suddenly. I loved I’m very much and looked up to him and relied on him for support. I feel awash in guilt for staining his name. And another one…admitting to myself I didn’t have a perfect, normal childhood. It eats away at the structure I built up about my past ages ago…and and and…

    I guess this will all take a long while to sort out. Thank you all again. I wish there was such a thing as an emotional painkiller in pill form.

  53. carlie says

    jrfdeux – I’m so sorry he did that to you. He had no right, he was totally wrong, and it is ok for you to feel however you feel about it. There is no scale of abuse you have to calibrate your feelings to. If you ever feel you need professional help dealing with it, I hope you have the support you need to do that, and I hope we can provide you with any safety and support you need from us.

  54. says

    It can take a long time to sort out, jrfdeux, but finding that courage to speak up about it is a hell of a first step. And having mixed feelings about the person who did it is neither unusual nor wrong. People come in many shades, even across the same body. So it is with their insides: we have good and bad inside us, each, and it’s probably odder to have a total unified feeling about a person who’s close to you in any way, than to have mixed ones.

  55. says

    jrfdeux
    *hugs* Nthing what others have said; I’ve little to add.
    further *hugs* for Anne, Giliell, toska, rq et al.
    Lynna
    Would it hurt my brain even further to learn what the living hell the sinking of the Bismarck has to do with Mormonism?

  56. says

    jrfdeux @70:
    It’s understandable that a flood of emotions might be overwhelming you at the moment (and perhaps for some time to come), but one thing I’d like to remind you: what happened to you wasn’t your fault. It’s not a reflection on the person you are. You did nothing wrong. You are a good person. You are not weak. Think of all the years you kept this bottled up inside. It took great courage to overcome that and to tell us. That’s not weakness. That’s strength. I imagine you’ve never met most of us in meatspace, yet you felt comfortable enough to open up and tell us something so horrific and so intimate. That says something about you. That’s strength, not weakness.
    I can’t tell you how to feel about your brother, but I will say that it makes sense that you’re going to feel conflicted. What he did to you was a massive violation and completely wrong. He was also still your brother. I don’t think there is a “right” way to feel about this. I think it’s going to be a mixture of emotions. There’s nothing wrong with that. I don’t think there is any specific feeling you *should* feel, either now, or 5 years from now.

    ::Internet hugs:: if you want them.

  57. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Would it hurt my brain even further to learn what the living hell the sinking of the Bismarck has to do with Mormonism?

    Lynna point out the words that were originally written by David Irving, were used by a senior Mormon in a speech without attribution back in 1982. The now much more elderly Mormon leader that speech again this year almost verbatim, so it is a case of multiple levels of plagiarism. Mormon leadership tolerates that level of dishonesty. Which means they are dishonest, and this is simply one example of what they do.

  58. rq says

    Oh, and rE: the last photo, what’s with that pose, hand inside jacket?

    +++

    jrfdeux
    Basically, what Tony said.
    You haven’t stained your brothers name. Your brother’s action is what made him who he is. And yes, there will be conflict due to the fact that he is your brother. But that’s okay, take your time, you’ll be okay and you’ll never be less of a man for something someone did to you as a child.
    *more hugs*

    G’night, all!

  59. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Can’t find the actual study, but cannabis is bad for you?

    Any report without a link to the paper it talks about should be looked at with a higher skepticism than normal.
    I have seen reports that cannabis smoke per se is harder on the lungs than cigarette smoke, but one or two joints a day versus one or two pack of coffin nails? The dose is what makes the difference.
    As to the other claims, reminds me of the now cult film, Reefer Madness.
    Personally, it’s like drinking alcohol. Moderation is the key.

  60. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    The bit that I’m missing is why the hell they brought up the Bismarck at the Mormon general conference at all, in 1982 or 2014.

    Ah, that question. I just chalk it up to the irrationality of the deeply religious mind looking for a “meaningful” metaphor for whatever picture was in the god-besotted mind.

  61. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    An as an addendum to the cannabis story, there is an interesting link to schizophrenia and mary jane use. But, it appears the mary jane is used to dull some the effects of the schizophrenia.
    Links:
    http://psychcentral.com/news/2013/12/10/harvard-marijuana-doesnt-cause-schizophrenia/63148.html
    http://www.reuters.com/article/2014/06/24/us-health-cannabis-idUSKBN0EZ0NC20140624
    http://healthland.time.com/2012/05/30/marijuana-compound-treats-schizophrenia-with-few-side-effects-clinical-trial/
    And from the same source *snicker* as your article to show where they are coming from:
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-126056/How-cannabis-trigger-schizophrenia.html
    Shock of shocks…

  62. says

    Here’s the official explanation for including the sinking of the Bismarck in a mormon speech at General Conference:

    Like the Bismarck, each of us is a miracle of engineering. Our creation, however, was not limited by human genius. Man can devise the most complex machines but cannot give them life or bestow upon them the powers of reason and judgment. These are divine gifts, bestowed only by God.

    Like the vital rudder of a ship, brethren, we have been provided a way to determine the direction we travel. The lighthouse of the Lord beckons to all as we sail the seas of life. Our purpose is to steer an undeviating course toward our desired goal—even the celestial kingdom of God. A man without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder, never likely to reach home port. To us comes the signal: chart your course, set your sail, position your rudder, and proceed.

    As with the mighty Bismarck, so it is with man. The thrust of the turbines and the power of the propellers are useless without that sense of direction, that harnessing of the energy, that directing of the power provided by the rudder, hidden from view, relatively small in size but absolutely essential in function.

    Our Father provided the sun, the moon, and the stars—heavenly galaxies to guide mariners who sail the lanes of the sea. To us, as we walk the pathway of life, He provides a clear map and points the way toward our desired destination. […]

    I didn’t say it was a good explanation. Tortured metaphors and similes are one of the cringe-inducing habits of mormon speechifiers.

    Now, imagine that blather delivered in a droning tone that manages to be boring and chock full of self-righteousness at the same time.

    Oh, yeah, and a pet peeve: mormons use the word “even” in ways that disturb me.

    To sail safely the seas of mortality, we need the guidance of that Eternal Mariner—even the great Jehovah.

  63. says

    The cannabis study in question is here. Having taken a look at it, all I can say is that a) correlation ≠ causation, and someone who’s been studying epidemiology for 20 years should damn well know that, b) if he thinks that the idea that driving while intoxicated is a bad choice is a new one, I don’t know what the hell planet he’s been living on for the last several decades, and c) correlation ≠ causation. Seriously. Why is it so fucking hard for people to grasp the idea that maybe, just maybe, people whose mental state is often deeply unpleasant to experience (like, say, people who may be suffering from depression or schizophrenia), find it pleasant or helpful to consume a substance (like, say, cannabis), that reduces that unpleasantness and brings about a calm, moderately euphoric state? I mean, it’s totally incomprehensible, right? A wild, radical idea that couldn’t possibly be true, innit? Fucking hell.

  64. says

    Nerd

    I have seen reports that cannabis smoke per se is harder on the lungs than cigarette smoke,

    That one’s actually crap too, although I can’t find the citation at the moment. I’ll keep looking for it, I know I’ve got a book around here somewhere with the reference in it.

  65. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Thanks Dalillama, SG #85. I think you nailed it.
    *back to a report on product P*

  66. opposablethumbs says

    jrfdeux, many internet hugs if that’s ok. I’m so sorry that he did that to you – especially because you loved him and looked up to him; he robbed you of the great brother he could and should have been to you. You’re very brave, and I hope you are ok after what it must have felt like to say that out loud.

  67. toska says

    jrfdeux
    Try to take care of yourself. Feel what you have to feel. Just remember that actions of other people do not reflect on your character – it reflects on theirs. You are not less because of anything anyone has done to you. You are also not responsible for protecting the reputation of anyone who has abused you, even if you love them. And I really think it’s ok to have complex feelings about your brother. He did a horrible thing to you, and there is no way to excuse that, but he was still your brother, and he was still a human, not a 2 dimensional monster. I’m just so sorry that he took advantage of your relationship and your admiration for him in order to hurt you.

  68. carlie says

    And another one…admitting to myself I didn’t have a perfect, normal childhood. It eats away at the structure I built up about my past ages ago…

    A few weeks ago we were talking about that kind of problem here – not about abuse like that at all, but some of us thinking we had a “normal” childhood and then realizing years later that it was far outside the norm in terms of how fundamentalist it was. Not even approaching what you went through, but from that I have just the barest glimmer of understanding what you mean by that loss of your version of a good history, so I empathize as much as I can.

  69. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    @jrfdeux

    I had to walk away from my computer for a bit to calm down after posting that. I’m still a bundle of nauseous nerves.

    The fact that you picked a working strategy is good. You know yourself pretty well. You can take care of yourself, bundle of nerves or no. You’ve done it before without help. Now you have the Horde to help. That won’t make it harder…but you may choose to do hard things that you’ve avoided when you didn’t have help.

    Don’t mistake choosing to take on a big task for things getting worse, okay? You’ve made a big choice in talking about it. I trust you to have made the right one. I hope you can trust yourself as well.

    In some ways not talking about it made it less real. Now that I’ve actually written and published what happened, it’s concrete and it’s scary. :-(

    Oh, hell yeah. That’s a very normal human reaction. Other survivors can testify to this as well. You’re not alone here. You took on something for which you weren’t ready before. Like starting a new job or choosing to live with someone, even good things can be new burdens that scare us if we aren’t sure how well we’ll carry them.

    I’m a mess of emotions now, and one I’ve identified is this feeling of being less of a man because I was molested. Admitting to this makes me feel like I’m weak and undesirable.

    Also a normal reaction. You’re a man because you’re a man. There’s no logic to it that our best neurologists and sociologists have been able to figure out. It is.

    On the other hand, you shouldn’t be mislead into thinking that we all mean the same thing when we use the word “man”. This should help to start. But you could also read some of the gender workshop stuff I’ve done here on Pharyngula if you haven’t already.

    If you can separate “being a man” into things like “identifying as a man,” “coming across as a man to others in social situations,” and “conforming to the gender role: man,” you’ll be able to help yourself a bit, I think.

    In the meantime, know that your response **is** normal for cis* men survivors. Any other men who have survived some form of sexual assault who are reading this right now are **highly** likely to have had the same feeling. You’re not alone here, either. Your words aren’t incomprehensible to us. Many of us know something like that feeling, and some of us know that exact one. And we can be here for you.

    Another emotion is of betraying my brother’s memory. He died some years ago suddenly. I loved I’m very much and looked up to him and relied on him for support. I feel awash in guilt for staining his name.

    Well, you haven’t said his name. And I don’t know yours, so I couldn’t figure it out anyway. Someday you may choose to say his name, but whether you do or don’t, this is your story to tell. He made himself part of your story, and as long as you are honestly relating that story, you’re not stealing anything from him. You’re not responsible for whether his actions make him seem good or bad. You can only take care in how you translate those actions into your story. Do it as honestly as you can, in as few or as many words as you need, and you’re fine.

    And while I never would advocate hope that in the future you disregard someone’s needs, someday I hope you get past your current place. Your brother, sadly, doesn’t have needs any more. Even if I believed in heaven and hell, your brother would already be wherever he’s going. Talking about him well or badly years after he dies wouldn’t change that in any theology of which I’m aware. The only theology where it would matter at all is animism, where the spirits of the dead literally accompany us, and observe, and feel and react as they would in life. Then, maybe, your brother would be pissed off. But even then, would he be pissed off at you or himself?

    I don’t know what your theology is, though I know you’re more likely to be atheist or agnostic since you come here fairly often. In that case, the question is as easy as it is in Christian theology: his needs are done. His life is over.

    Life is for the living: use as much of your energy as possible to worry about and care for yourself.

  70. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    I thought open-carry was supposed to protect people from being robbed.

    *snicker* they can’t think through the consequences of having a gun pointed at them first. First the gun, then the rest of the booty if desired.

  71. says

    rq, Hermione is a gorgeous name for The Kitten!

    toska @54

    Anne
    I’ll bring 2 kittehs,

    Oh cool, what time can I expect you? ;)

    Lynna @61 – ugh, I thought that might be Irving. Slimy piece of shit, oh and a misogynist as well, quelle surprise. He was bad enough to be banned from coming to Australia, and it takes quite something for a conservative government to ban a white dude from coming here.

    jrfdeux @62 and @70

    Echoing everyone – you’re not a coward, you haven’t betrayed him (just the opposite) and hugs if they’re wanted.

    Fribble had her vet check today. Everything’s pretty much as it was. We’re putting her on the sub-cut treatment for her kidneys – three treatments a day. It’s a good thing I am unemployed, since it takes two people to do it (not that she puts up a fight, but someone needs to hold her still) and fitting three properly spaced treatments of five shots around a working day + long commute would just not be feasible. Now if only I could convince Centrelink that my carer’s allowance should be increased ‘cos Fribs is very old and needs more looking after than Mum and oh yes not acknowledging the greater needs of kitties is SPECIESISM!

  72. The Mellow Monkey says

    jrfdeux, I’ll second what others have said. You’re not a coward and you’re not doing anything to your brother’s memory. You are living your life and telling your story and that is a right any of us has.

    If you want to share stories with other survivors and hear how other people have similar experiences, the Horde can provide that. If you want to just tell your story and not get any input other than sympathetic virtual shoulders, the Horde can provide that. There’s a lot of experience here helping survivors and a lot of experience surviving. We’re here for you. I am here for you.

    *hugs or whatever non-invasive gestures of support are okay*

  73. toska says

    2kittehs
    LOL! I’ve seen your posts around here a lot, but I didn’t even connect my comment with your nym. Two just so happens to be my number of kittehs as well. Tis a very good number for kittehs, I suppose ;)

    I hope your Fribble starts feeling better with the treatments. I know what you mean about the time commitment to kitty-care. The one good thing about my partner’s several month stint of unemployment is that he was around to take care of The Little Cat when he had his health problems this summer.

  74. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    2 kitties rule my home as well.

    We might actually have had more, but there’s a building rule about it. Me personally, though, I’m good with only 2. It’s my kids that (say they) want ALL THE KITTEHS.

  75. Pteryxx says

    Tony! since I don’t have paypal, can you email me with a mailing address? I can’t send much but y’know… it’s only a couple hundred, Horde, just a few more people might cover it.

  76. toska says

    Crip Dyke

    We might actually have had more, but there’s a building rule about it. Me personally, though, I’m good with only 2. It’s my kids that (say they) want ALL THE KITTEHS.

    I am the one in my household who wants ALL THE KITTEHS. But I’m also the pragmatic one who realizes that 2 is the limit for our small apartment life, even sans building rule. The self control, how it burns sometimes!

    Also liking the League of 2 Kitties! :)
    And my two fluffballs appreciate their role in the establishment of such a title.

  77. toska says

    Tony!
    My cats match yours. I have a little orange cat and a big grey and white tiger striped cat. Your dogs are adorable too!

  78. The Mellow Monkey says

    J: Will I see you tonight?
    Me: I will be here.
    J: Excellent. See you tonight.

    Tonight: I’m here, J is not. No word on why.

    sigh

  79. says

    toska @97

    2kittehs
    LOL! I’ve seen your posts around here a lot, but I didn’t even connect my comment with your nym. Two just so happens to be my number of kittehs as well. Tis a very good number for kittehs, I suppose ;)

    All numbers are good for kitties, especially MOAR.

    I couldn’t resist commenting when I saw yours upthread, it was too good an opportunity to miss! :D My usual online name is kittehserf, but FTB threw a tizzy and won’t let me log in with it.

    I hope your Fribble starts feeling better with the treatments. I know what you mean about the time commitment to kitty-care. The one good thing about my partner’s several month stint of unemployment is that he was around to take care of The Little Cat when he had his health problems this summer.

    Thank you! Fribs is pretty good, considering. She’s 18 and very thin, but enjoying life – I know cats mask very well, but she still enjoys her routine – this lap? That lap? Interrupt knitting or interrupt newspaper reading? Wind up Maddie? Sleep? So much for a girl to do.

    Did The Little Cat get over his health problems?

    Anne @99

    I also am owned by two kitties. We are the League of Two Kitties!

    Huzzah!

    Crip Dyke @100

    It’s my kids that (say they) want ALL THE KITTEHS.

    Great Ceiling Cat, I’m with your kids there, Crip Dyke. We used to have 5 and I want more kitties, more! Even just one more! But Mum doesn’t feel up to it (no wonder, given her age and health).

    Hmmm … I should mention I’m going to be home for ages at least, if indeed I ever get another job … ::starts nefarious plotting::

    Tony! @105

    Such Gorgeous Kitties and Doggies!

  80. The Mellow Monkey says

    Tony! @ 110: It’s common enough to not be a surprise when it happens, but I still–for some silly reason–never quite expect it until it does. I don’t understand what’s so hard about only making plans you intend on keeping.

  81. toska says

    2kittehs
    The Little Cat is doing well! He’s 5 months old now, but when we rescued him, he was only 5 weeks. He was wormy and should have been with his mum and siblings. And then he was just quite accident prone for a while there, and gave us a couple of good scares. He’s doing much better with coordination and maturity, though I shouldn’t speak too soon, seeing as how he jumped into the toilet this evening (What? There is water in this piece of cat furniture? Who would design such a thing???).

  82. says

    Hey ya’ll, I blogged about this horrible situation with a lesbian woman who has lupus and whose mother kicked her out of the home bc she’s gay.
    http://www.lgbtqnation.com/2014/10/a-letter-to-the-christian-mom-wishing-death-for-her-disabled-lesbian-daughter/2/

    Trigger Warning, bc the mother is an utter asshole.
    In any case, the woman, Kelly, is on hard times, so a fundraiser has been set up for her (thanks to toska for finding the GiveForward fundraising page for Kelly)

    After watching the video about the young man coming out to his parents made me think of my best friend and how her mother treated her. She is gay, has medical issues, and is going through an extremely hard time. Her doctors diagnosed her with auto immune disorder; Lupus, Lumbar disc disease, and Connective tissue disease. She suffered nerve damage from shingles. She had 2 surgeries and before the state declared her disabled she racked up over 100,000 thousand dollars in medical and credit calrd bills. She lost her house, she sold off all of her belongings to pay for medical care, medication and what little she could to keep the lights on over her head. Her mother states in the video that she was waiting on her to die so she could come in and take everything away from her girlfriend that was taking care of her. Her mother was lying to people stating she was helping her daughter financially but instead she was keeping the money that she was receiving from her church. Kelly recorded their conversation to prove to others she wasnt receiving a dime that was given to her mother to help her. She never expected to hear what she heard that day. She keeps the recording to reminder her that she no longer has a mother. When she misses her she will play it to remind herself that the mother she thought she had never exsisted. It puts her in a deep depression and we have all begged her to delete it but she says she is not ready. What i am asking is if you can spread the word that this disabled woman who is being sued by collection agencies and credit card companies, who is only getting 700 dollars a month to survive on needs help. She was very reluctant in me putting up.this site for her but she put her pride aside for the first time so if you can please donate to her paypal account at kjackson626@hotmail.com or this giveforward website. It would be greatly appreciated. No amount is to small. If you can’t thats ok just please repost this to facebook, twitter, instagram and any other social media that you might have. Thank you for taking the time to read this and for contributing in any way you can.

    I can’t help out, and I dearly wish I could. But I can at least signal boost. Maybe this is something PZ could blog about.

  83. rq says

    Skies over my hometown, as taken by my sister.

    Also, being a prime offender in this area, can we all please remember, in future, to add Trigger Warnings to possibly sensitive material like personal abuse? This has been a public service announcement.

  84. says

    toska @113, good to hear he’s come through those tricky early days. Our Mr Hadji was four weeks old when we got him (he was somehow lost by his mum, one of a feral cat colony in town) and had to have hourly feedings at first. He thought that meant feeds that lasted an hour. :P

    Jumping in the dunny. I can just picture it. Maybe that’s the real reason toilet lids were invented …

  85. rq says

    Apparently, in Latvia, to be a gentleman, one must only look good, smell good, and know what drinks to serve in which glasses. Oh, and read a book. Nothing about behaviour or respect for everyone. Nice.

  86. bassmike says

    I’m back! Did you miss me? Did you notice I was gone at all? Oh well.

    jrfdeux I can only agree with everyone else that what you posted was very brave. The horde/lounge is a great place to discuss any subject. As you can see, you get the unconditional support of everyone, and you deserve it. Good luck with everything.

    Excuse me if this has been said before, but a lot of the recent comments seem Dickensian: a Tale of 2 Kittehs…. I’ll get my coat.

    On the potty training front: we had an accident-free day yesterday. *Does a subdued happy dance in deference to those in the pillow fort*. We’ll see how things are today, but a step in the right direction.

    Also, damn you Pharyngula! I can’t watch anything without thinking of the social justice aspect. A case in point: I’m watching Peppa Pig with my daughter and the family decide to build a scarecrow. They’re clothing it, and find an old dress, but obviously the idea of a scarecrow in a dress is absurd. All I can think is: what’s wrong with putting a dress on a scarecrow? What they’re doing is putting the idea in kids’ heads that either it’s wrong for a scarecrow to be a woman, or men should never wear dresses. Am I over-reacting?

    I’ve just realized that I’ve over used colons in this post. Sorry!

  87. rq says

    bassmike
    We’ll talk when there’s a colon shortage in the future.
    Not sure what the point is, but it’s definitely a Thing to notice that a scarecrow is not allowed to wear a dress. And definitely the fault of Pharyngula for noticing such things.
    Actually, I would wonder why, because a flappy dress seems so much better at bird-frightening than a tight pair of pants. (Also, locally, they usually come in both dresses and pants.)

    And yes, I noticed. ;)

  88. rq says

    Oh my gosh! Estonia just passed a law on civil* unions / partnerships that applies also to same-sex couples. It’s not quite gay marriage, but it does give them more partnership rights and privileges, along with all other long-term relationships that just choose not to get married. Nice move, Estonia – nice move!

    * By ‘civil’ in this case I mean the Canadian living-together-three-years-or-more, rather than the commonly accepted, local married-at-the-courthouse-not-a-church version. So yeah, in Latvia, you can live together for 50 years, but if you’re not married, your partner has no rights (of visitation, inheritance, next-of-kin, etc.).

  89. bassmike says

    Thanks rq . I’ve been reading stuff here, but I’ve been too busy to respond. Then I had some time and felt I had to post a comment on the ‘purely and American problem’ thread. *Hangs head in shame by association*

  90. Ogvorbis says

    jrfdeux

    Safe and non-intrusive ehugs to you.

    I feel for you. One of the really scary things about abuse is that there seems (to me) to be a very fluid correlation between the violence or severity of abuse and the survivor’s long-term reaction to the abuse.

    [TRIGGER WARNING]

    I remember the pain of being raped. The things that haunt me today, the times that live with me, are the times when there was no pain. When there was pleasure.

    I know that you have not mentioned pleasure and I am not trying to imply anything. I guess I am springboarding into the idea that there are gradations of rape, or gradations of abuse. What affects you is what affects you and there is no weakness in acknowledging what happened or how it affects you.

    I fight against the weakness demon — when I have a panic attack, I view that as weakness. I fight against the toxic masculinity — this idea that men don’t get raped, and I view my acceptance and silence as weakness. I, too, have never told anyone outside of this pseudonymous community — no one, not my wife, my children, no one even has an inkling of what I did when I was a cub scout, and I view my fear as weakness. I am a control freak — I fear that if I do not keep strict control over who I am I will become what he tried to train me to be, his version of a man, and I view this as fear of being weak. And, of course, when I was in the Army, being strong, not weak, was the goal.

    It isn’t weakness. Weak and strong are a false dichotomy which stems from misogyny, patriarchy and toxic masculinity. For me, strength is being able to keep doing what I need to do — caring for, nurturing, and loving my family; doing my job; being as active as I can, at may different (anonymous/pseudonymous) levels, fighting the endemic Abrahamic patriarchy of modern American culture; appearing ‘normal’ to the rest of the world.

    Sorry for the ramble. Your writings have hit me pretty hard — in a good way. The weakness and manliness bugaboos are a big part of why so many male survivors of rape and abuse stay silent. Thank you for speaking out. I hope it has helped you.

  91. says

    Whoa. I spent a few days binge watching Gravity Falls, an animated tv show supposedly for children on Disney Channel that was like if Simpsons met X-Files (or dare I say it: if Springfield was in Twin Peaks) – with a kind heart. Really, really nice.

  92. bassmike says

    You’re right Anne ! I should have realized that…..I’ll let you get back to sleep.

  93. rq says

    Perhaps the crossover fiction of Beatrix Dickens, non? Peter Rabbit in London? Two kittehs in the two cittehs?

  94. Gorogh, Lounging Peacromancer says

    Did anyone watch yesterday’s South Park episode yet? They’re covering gender identity, which initially I thought could turn bad really quickly, but I felt they managed it pretty well. Sure there’s some messing around by some of the kids, and the focus on bathroom usage is bullshit, but then it’s South Park. Some of the statements (thinking of Mr Garrison and Sharon here) were surprisingly balanced.

    As a side note, s18e01 was annoying, and last week’s I found okay but rather mellow… but if you generally appreciate the show, give s18e03 a shot.

  95. Gorogh, Lounging Peacromancer says

    p.s.: They have become more self-referential this season it seems, so to understand the whole Lorde-thing (who actually seems to have a guest appearance via her voice), you’d had to watch last week’s episode, too. And to understand last week’s fully, that from the week before. Anyway.

  96. says

    jrfdeux
    *hugs*
    All I have to share at the moment, but there’s lots of them

    ++++

    I have seen reports that cannabis smoke per se is harder on the lungs than cigarette smoke,

    I think this could be a cultural thing. It’s not that long ago that when you people in the States smoke weed you actually mean the plants. In Europe you typically smoke Hashish, the pressed resin that is mixed with normal tobacco, but they will also cal it “weed”. The smoke is usually inhaled for longer than normal cigarette smoke, so this could be reasonably harder on the lungs.
    Personally, I preferred hot chocolate, but the stuff makes me puke, so none for me…

  97. says

    Further to my comments about that Sarah Silverman nightmare video, there’s a good Twitter-thingy about it, which when I click this link shows in a string below the one I’m linking to. I don’t know the medium well enough to know if that’ll work for everyone, but she had several more tweets after that one.

    Dear @nwlc, the best thing you could do right now would be to pull that video & issue a thorough apology to trans people & sex workers.

    There’s a good discussion below it, assuming you can see it. Not a slam at Lynna, at all, because cis privilege is a new idea to a lot of people, and spotting it takes experience and knowledge. But I appreciated your gracious response, too, Lynna.

    On my phone, so I’m not going to scroll all over to find the comment numbers, my apologies.

  98. says

    Also, home now from my legal aid appointment. My lawyer thinks I have a reasonable chance at the appeal hearing, which will probably be in the spring. I cried, a lot. The monkey dance is so fucking humiliating. Thankfully, my lawyer understands that completely, and has much the same opinion: that the monkey dance is humiliating and endless on purpose, the goal being to see whether you’re disabled enough to waste spoons on the monkey dance, a completely twisted and evil fucking mentality if I’ve ever heard one.

    On the up side, there is “interim assistance” available, with a risk: if I get it, and then the appeal is turned down, I’ll have to pay it back, and they will take every penny from my welfare payment to get it, meaning I could theoretically end up in a no-money situation. However, long horizons are for people who aren’t in poverty, so I’m applying. If I could get it, I’d be in a position of being able to pay all my bills every month, and as long as Craig is here, even have a few dollars to spare. That would lessen the stress on me so much, I might just be able to get some movement on finding work going.

    So, thumbs to be holding please, if you would, Horde, because I’m going to need all the nonexistent good fortune and deistic support I can get.

    Alternately, there’s this Nigerian prince who sent me an e-mail, it sounds like I could be in for a lot of money. Surely all my problems will be over, as soon as I fax him all my personal information.

  99. toska says

    CaitieCat
    From the conversation below the tweet @DrJaneChi:

    And, yes, obviously you weren’t thinking of trans people when you made this. That’s half the problem – not thinking of them as people.

    100x this! Just going about life, I almost never hear discussions of transphobia or issues that trans people face (Well, except from my late grandmother, but she was pretty much a superhero). I find most info from blogs, and while I don’t want to diminish the significance of what these blogs are doing, I think we need to see trans issues get more of a stage in meatspace, and I want the mainstream media to be more educated and responsible when talking about the issues.

    And I’m sorry about your legal troubles. It’s shameful that social programs in most countries are such failures. Who benefits from cruelly making poor and disabled people bend over backwards and beg for financial assistance? It’s a disgusting attitude. I’m so sorry you are dealing with this.

  100. says

    Giliell

    I think this could be a cultural thing.

    Nope, it’s a propaganda thing; it’s made up bullshit, originating in a 70s DARE program, IIRC.

    It’s not that long ago that when you people in the States smoke weed you actually mean the plants.

    Indeed, that is still the case; specifically ground buds, leaf only when that is not available.

    In Europe you typically smoke Hashish, the pressed resin that is mixed with normal tobacco, but they will also cal it “weed”.

    Is this perhaps a local thing? When I was in France as an exchange student, the joints we passed were made the same way as ones in the States.

    Gorogh#129
    No, and after that entire abomination with Garrison (among other things) I won’t watch that show anymore.
    CaitieCat
    *hugs* and best wishes.

  101. says

    Non-partisan, objective research shows what we knew all along, that voter ID laws work the way Republicans intended them to work — the laws reduce the number of younger voters and the number of black voters.

    States that toughened their voter identification laws saw steeper drops in election turnout than those that did not, with disproportionate falloffs among black and younger voters, a nonpartisan congressional study released Wednesday concluded. […]

    The report by the Government Accountability Office, Congress’ investigative agency, was released less than a month from elections that will determine which party controls Congress.

    Yes, this voter ID shit is going to affect the November elections. It is going to affect which party controls the Senate.

    http://www.politico.com/story/2014/10/voter-id-laws-minorities-111721.html?hp=l9

  102. says

    More bad news regarding voting rights: conservatives on the Supreme Court are carrying this voter-restriction dirty water for rightwing politicians.

    The Supreme Court acted Wednesday to limit voting rights in North Carolina, after doing the same for Ohio the week previous. Early voting was the key issue in both cases. In North Carolina, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg wrote a dissent, which Justice Sonia Sotomayor joined:

    “The Court of Appeals determined that at least two of the measures—elimination of same-day registration and termination of out-of-precinct voting—risked significantly reducing opportunities for black voters to exercise the franchise in violation of Section 2 of the Voting Rights Act. I would not displace that record-based reasoned judgment,” Ginsburg wrote.

    The majority did not explain its decision to allow North Carolina’s assault on voting rights, but the reason North Carolina Republicans launched the assault is clear:

    Groups challenging the law urged the justices to let the appeals court’s ruling stand. The state law, they said, had “surgically eliminated the precise forms of registration and voting that had enabled significant expansion of African-Americans’ civic participation in North Carolina over the previous decade.” […]

    Daily Kos link.

  103. says

    Republicans fail … again … in their attempts to woo women voters.

    Last week’s attempt by the GOP to woo women with a message that boiled down to “Elections are like shopping for wedding dresses, little lady” went over like a lead balloon, but today they are back with a new web ad trying to position the GOP as the party for women by featuring several female Republican candidates into a single ad.

    The message: Republicans are the party of women because a handful of the GOP has a handful of female candidates. Not exactly a powerful message, but when you consider the positions supported by the candidates on the list, you can see why they’d rather focus on their chromosomes than what they stand for:

    Monica Wehby: Wehby might be a female doctor, but she nonetheless supported the Supreme Court’s Hobby Lobby decision which sought to restrict women’s access to birth control.

    Elise Stefanik: Stefanik isn’t just “anti-abortion,” she’s a hardcore anti-choice proponent endorsed by the ultra-right Susan B. Anthony list. […]

    Mia Love: Like Stefanik, Love is endorsed by ultra-right anti-choice activists.

    Susana Martinez: Remember Todd Akin? Well, Martinez announced a requirement that female victims of sexual assault must prove they were “forcibly raped” to receive childcare assistance. […]

    Joni Ernst: Ernst isn’t just a candidate who has called Obama a dictator and suggested impeaching him, she’s also a candidate who has argued that there shouldn’t be a Federal minimum wage at all. […]

    Bottom line: Someday, Republicans might realize that their problems with women run deeper than whether or not they run ads featuring women—that policies matter. Today, however, is clearly not that day. […]

    Daily Kos link.

    We should get the news out about these Republican women who are really pushing a war on women. What addlepated doofuses.

  104. says

    Well, so long then, and let the door hit you in the ass as you leave.

    If the GOP wants to hang onto former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee, the party needs to “find Jesus soon” and oppose gay marriage more aggressively, the former presidential candidate suggested Tuesday.

    In an interview with the American Family Association’s radio show, Huckabee said he was “utterly exasperated” with Republicans for failing to stand up for traditional marriage after the Supreme Court cleared the way for gay marriage in several states on Monday.

    “[I]f the Republicans wanna lose guys like me, and a whole bunch of still God-fearing Bible-believing people, go ahead and just abdicate on this issue, and go ahead and say abortion doesn’t matter either,” he said.

    “Because at that point, you lose me, I’m gone,” Huckabee continued. “I’ll become an independent, I’ll start finding people that have guts to stand. I’m tired of this.”

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/mike-huckabee-independent-gay-marriage-gop

    Empty threat, I assume. But, really, I would like to see the Republican Party splinter even more than it has already. Splinter groups are noisy, but they are also much weaker politically.

  105. Pteryxx says

    Clueless men in tech: via BB: Man-packed sexism-in-tech panel flops at the three-day Grace Hopper Celebration of Women in Computing, yet. Full article

    The panel consisted of Facebook CTO Mike Schroepfer; Google’s SVP of search Alan Eustace; Blake Irving, CEO of GoDaddy; and Tayloe Stansbury, CTO of Intuit. The assembled white men set out to tell the audience what their companies are doing to make women more welcome and how men and women (yes, that’s right—women, too) can change the boys’ club culture in tech.

    Instead, they ended up reinforcing many of the stereotypes women are already all too familiar with. In essence, their advice to women was: Work harder, build great things, speak up for yourself, lean in. It got so bad that at one point, the audience started heckling the speakers.

    “I don’t think people are actively protecting the [toxic culture] or holding on to it … or trying to keep [diverse workers] from the power structure that is technology,” Eustace said. “I don’t think that’s it.”

    To which women in the audience said very loudly: “Yes it is!”

  106. says

    A biologist (sort of a biologist) and Republican candidate for office is bucking the “I’m not a scientist” trend for Republicans who want to deny evidence of manmade climate change. This guy from Michigan wants to deny the evidence while also claiming to be a scientist.

    “The climate may be changing, but I don’t think man is contributing to it,” [said] Benishek [Rep. Dan Benishek (R-MI)] […]

    “I could throw some science at you,” Peterson pressed.

    “Well, I am a scientist,” Benishek responded. “You know, I believe in peer-reviewed science. But, I don’t see any peer-reviewed science that proves there is man-made catastrophic climate change.” […]

    Benishek earned a Bachelor of Science degree in biology from the University of Michigan back in 1974. He went on to graduate from Wayne State Medical School in 1978, and has since worked as a general surgeon […]

    […] the oil and gas industry has been Benishek’s third biggest supporter in the 2013-2014 election cycle, having given his campaign $58,550. […] Follow the Money ranks Benishek’s total haul from the oil and gas industries since 2010 at over $125,000.

    […] a recent roundup of peer-reviewed literature in the field found a 97 percent agreement that humanity’s carbon emissions are a major driver of climate change.
    […]

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/mike-huckabee-independent-gay-marriage-gop

  107. says

    The Village Voice published a funny and informative article titled “Mormons: A Shallow Yet Helpful Guide to See if You Should Hate Them or Not.” Excerpts below:

    Last month, evangelical leaders gathered in D.C. for the Values Voter Summit, where disciples of the Pissed-Off Jesus harrumphed and yammered about how much America sucked. […]

    Dallas megachurch preacher Robert Jeffress […] warned that Mormon “cult” members were not only despoiling Broadway, but were actually running for president. “Non-Christians” like Mitt Romney and Jon Huntsman had invaded the Republican primary […]

    If patriots didn’t take heed, Jeffress cautioned, America would soon be possessed by heretics. The nation was shocked. Until that moment, Mormons were considered a mere nuisance, polite yet pesky young men who came to the door when you were trying to watch Supernanny. Or perhaps they were paid spokesmodels for the short-sleeved dress shirt industry. No one was certain. But Jeffress uncloaked them as enemies of Jesus. […]

    Smith had inadvertently launched the My God is Way Better Than Yours Period, a belief still practiced today by great leaders like Rev. Jeffress. Missionaries were sent out to convert followers. Word reached Ohio that he’d pioneered a fabulous new religion. So Smith teamed up with a preacher there and moved Mormon headquarters to a town outside of Cleveland. […]

    this was the 1830s, when Cleveland was still celebrated by Chamber of Commerce types as the “Krakow of the Rust Belt,” its restaurants known for serving the finest gruel on the western frontier. With his flock growing, Smith started a bank. But he was an inexperienced prophet still grasping the subtleties of his all-seeing powers. He failed to arrange a golden parachute. When the bank went bust, he wasn’t justly rewarded for blowing everyone’s money, as bankers so rightfully are today. In fact, the flock was pissed. So they kicked his ass all the way to Jackson County, Missouri. […]

    God intervened, introducing Smith to polygamy, which allowed men to take as many wives as they pleased. The new Unlimited Chicks for My Guys campaign was a hit. The Mormon enclave blossomed. Bonus round: Smith’s money problems were also solved when God told him about the Law of Tithing, which ordered Mormons to give 10 percent of their income to Joseph Smith, thus saving him the hassle of wrecking another bank. […]

    Lot’s more fun at the link. This is old, but still good journalism.

  108. says

    You remember that guy, Mark Regnerus (University of Texas), who produced a soon-debunked “study” that dissed same-sex parenting? Well, the Austin Institute for the Study of Family and Culture apparently likes fraudulent research. They continue to publish drivel from Regnerus.

    Now we know where some of the money comes from, a rich effed-up conservative donor of course.

    […] New York hedge fund honcho and social conservative mega-donor Sean Fieler.

    The 2013 tax return for Fieler’s Chiaroscuro Foundation reports two grants to the Austin Institute, totaling $250,000. […]

    Fieler’s funding of the Austin Institute shouldn’t come as a surprise. To begin with, he is a trustee of the Witherspoon Institute, the Princeton-based think tank that kicked in $700,000 for Regnerus’ now infamous “New Family Structures” study. The study claimed to show that children raised by gay and lesbian parents suffer all sorts of harmful consequences like drug use and abuse, despite only actually studying two people raised by same-sex couples. […]

    The Chiaroscuro Foundation is just the beginning of Fieler’s influence: Last month, RH Reality Check delved in detail into Fieler’s political spending, including his funding of the American Principles Project and his hand in political races across the country. […]

    The Austin Institute’s most noticeable contribution so far is a viral YouTube video applying a pop-economics veneer to the Religious Right’s favorite target, the sexual revolution. The video explains (in economic terms, of course) how contraception led to women turning against each other while men became video-game playing slobs — the only solution to which is for women to band together to withhold sex until marriage. […]

    Anti-gay marriage activists continue to quote Regnerus’s “research,” and now he is being paid to pump out more misinformation. It’s so easy for rightwing politicians to repeat this crap. Disheartening.

    Right Wing Watch link.

  109. jrfdeux, mode d'emploi says

    carlie, caitiecat, Dalillama, Tony!, rq, opposablethumbs, toska, 2kittehs, The Mellow Monkey:
    Thank you all so much for the NetHugs and kind words. All are accepted humbly and I’m deeply grateful for your understanding. Although my rational side told me that the Horde would make me feel safe, my emotional side was overwhelmed with “but what if” and probably set off a peptic ulcer or some other stress-related ailment. I didn’t sleep for longer than 20 minutes at a time last night. I had no idea I was capable of feeling this kind of fear and pain. :-(

    Crip Dyke:
    I’m grateful for your support and also the pointers to the writing you’ve done on gender identity and the poison of social expectations. I have a lot of reading to do.

    You know, I don’t just feel solidarity here, I feel shielded.

    I really hope I didn’t miss anyone who responded. I do apologize if I did. You folks are amazing here and I am so fortunate to have found this place.

  110. carlie says

    Whoa. I spent a few days binge watching Gravity Falls, an animated tv show supposedly for children on Disney Channel that was like if Simpsons met X-Files (or dare I say it: if Springfield was in Twin Peaks) – with a kind heart. Really, really nice.

    GRAVITY FALLS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE SHOWS EVER.

    My kids and I (both kids are in high school) sit and watch it and laugh ourselves silly. It’s decent and wickedly clever and they’ve gotten away with quite a bit that I’m quite surprised at, especially for Disney. (Sample dialogue from last week’s episode, from the curmudgeonly old uncle: “Can I have my hands back now? There’s a gesture I’d like to share with you.”)
    They have in-show references that span huge amounts of pop culture, including less popular stuff (a Halloween episode featuring a monster based on No-Face from Spirited Away, for example). There’s a time travel episode at the end of season 1, that turns out they had seeded almost every previous episode with in the background. They just had Neil DeGrasse Tyson playing a sentient talking pig. That show has EVERYTHING.

    If you are the kind of person who likes to obsess over the minutiae of shows, the AV Club has recaps/reviews of all of the episodes here.

  111. rq says

    Okay. So after a week of short breath and on-off fevers, this after leukemia, chemo treatment, broken hip, more chemo, flight back to here, my dad finally allowed himself to be rushed to hospital tonight. I have no idea what’s going to happen; supposedly doctors say it’s just a virus of some kind. What’s even worse is that mum’s just coming off a hip replacement last Saturday, so she’s not very mobile yet. I hate this weekend already.

  112. jrfdeux, mode d'emploi says

    Oh dear, Ogvorbis I’m sorry I missed you on the first pass! Thank you for both your support and for sharing your painful story with me.
    This is all pretty yuck. :-(

  113. toska says

    jrfdeux
    I’m sorry you had such a rough night. I wish I could help more, but I’m glad I can be part of your support network. I admire all of the survivors who tell their stories. You are all brave people.

    rq
    Oh no! I hope your parents get through this tough time, and I hope all of the stress and labor for their care is not solely placed on you. It can be hard managing all of that on your own.

  114. says

    Microsoft CEO tells women “Don’t ask for a raise. Trust in karma.

    In an interview today in front of the most prominent group of women techies, Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella told the audience at the Grace Hopper Celebration of Women in Computing, being held in Arizona, that they need to trust “karma” if they don’t get the raise they want.

    “It’s not really about asking for a raise, but knowing and having faith that the system will give you the right raise,” said Nadella to Maria Klawe, who is president of Harvey Mudd College and also a member of Microsoft’s board, in an onstage interview.

    “That might be one of the initial ‘super powers,’ that quite frankly, women who don’t ask for a raise have,” he added. “It’s good karma. It will come back.”

    Oh dear. Oh my. No, no, no.

    The comment was not well-received by those gathered there at the event, which is named for one of history’s most important women tech icons.

  115. says

    jrfdeux

    I want to point you back to what Tony said, because whenever I try to come up with something to say, it always feels trite and cliche to me, so I tend to keep silent. But in some cases, people should know they have my support, so pretend I was standing behind Tony nodding as he spoke. There are others who said great things, too, so if you want, you can pretend I was standing behind them nodding, too.

    Ogvorbis

    You have my support, too. I enjoy reading your comments.

    rq

    And I learned a different way to do this, so let’s try, ((rq)) as offering some hugs (see? ’cause the parentheses are wrapped around the person? Get it?). I hope things work out for you and your parents with a minimum of fuss.

  116. Gorogh, Lounging Peacromancer says

    Gorogh#129
    No, and after that entire abomination with Garrison (among other things) I won’t watch that show anymore

    You’ve got a point there, Dalillama, although I believe that some things have gotten better over the years. You are absolutely right that some takes on social issues are bad (e.g. the fatshaming episode), but some are really good… wait…

    I’m just wondering, is my reasoning here equivalent to the reddit issue (sure there’s horrendously stupid stuff, but the rest is good), except this time it concerns one of my own pastimes? Since it’s just two people making the show, there’s more hope for improvement than for, say, reddit, no? Also, they don’t seem to get as bad.

    Maybe that’s more something for the Thunderdome. Maybe I’ll carry it there over the weekend. Sorry if the recommendation was inappropriate.

  117. says

    Anne @157:
    What are you worried about? Sam Harris himself said that he is not a raging anti-Muslim bigot, despite thinking you can visually profile Muslims at airports.
    I do hope he can get around to explaining that one someday. I look forward to watching him squirm.

  118. rq says

    So it turns out it’s pneumonia. *sigh* No word on what kind, but I suppose putting a label on things makes it easier.

  119. says

    bassmike @119

    Excuse me if this has been said before, but a lot of the recent comments seem Dickensian: a Tale of 2 Kittehs…. I’ll get my coat.

    It was the pets of times, it was the furs of times …

    rq
    @128

    Two kittehs in the two cittehs?

    I want to see this. Illustrated by Richard Scarry.

  120. opposablethumbs says

    rq, I’m so sorry about your dad. I hope he’s OK – and as toska said, I hope you don’t have to shoulder all this on your own.

    Tony! I feel shitty not being able to help. Glad that extremely great people here are and have.

  121. se habla espol says

    CNN is reporting that Malala Yousafsai has been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, along with an Indian activist whose name I didn’t catch.

    Insomnia is good for something, sometimes.

  122. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    @rq:

    I’m thinking about you & hoping you get through the weekend as better than you expect and as well as you possibly could.

    Best to your parents as well. I’ll be thinking about all of you.

    Pneumonia sucks, especially viral, but it can be treated. Hopefully dad can handle the coughing and shortness of breath for the time it takes to get him through the worst of the infection. If he can’t handle it, at least he’s in the hospital where other people can handle it for him.

  123. rq says

    Thanks, all, for the wishes. It’s just one of those ‘why now’ things, since we (Husband and I) were preparing for our Canadian Thanksgiving weekend, and now I don’t know whether to cancel or not (roundabouts 40 people event), since I don’t know how bad I should be expecting it to be.
    Apparently, it’s not actually pneumonia, so they don’t know what it is, and I saw him two days ago, he could barely move (while still at home). And now… He has his appetite back? I guess that’s good news?
    Thanks again, I’ll take all the hugs I can get right now. Plus some real-life ones from Husband when he gets home.

  124. says

    I’m still upset about that which made me leave, but I’m going to share something here for those who aren’t my Facebook friends (if you want my name, kd9280 at Google’s mail service is my e-mail.)

    Anyway: here’s a preview of my wedding photos. A few more to come later.

  125. says

    rq
    *hugs*
    Hope your dad gets better soon.

    Dalillama
    I wrote al long reply and FtB ate it. Short of it: Could well be a matter of change over time after decreased criminalisation. Hashish is much easier to store, transport and disappear than weed.

    +++
    From the “some people are lousy parents” department: Today I counted no less than 6 bags of crisps (and I mean family size, not small individual packet) and over a dozen 1l bottles of full sugar soda in one class. The kids who actually had a sandwich were in the minority…

  126. Gorogh, Lounging Peacromancer says

    *chips in with hugs* rq, hope your dad get’s better soon. I guess appetite is good news most of the time. Mh.

    Kevin, thanks for sharing. I like the two lowest black and whites best, but you must have plenty of great photos judging from this sample. All the best for you two. As a side note, I did not realize about what upset you so you left – left Pharyngula, I suppose (I’m overtaxed by all the names and posts and have exceedingly poor memory). Whatever it was, maybe you’ll come back eventually.

  127. says

    I don’t bake, but IIRC, there are people here who do. I stumbled across this blog called Cooking in the Archives

    “Cooking in the Archives” sets out to find, cook, and discuss recipes from cookbooks produced between 1600 and 1800. This project is situated at the intersection between the practice of modern cooking and the history of early modern manuscript and printed recipe books. Penn’s Kislak Center for Special Collections, Rare Books and Manuscripts holds over 100 recipe books from the early modern era. We believe these recipes belong in the modern kitchen as well as the historical archive. After all, what are recipes if not instructions for cooking?

    They have a recipe for some type of cookie called a Jumball:

    It’s high time that we talk about jumballs. We were initially mystified by the moniker, but jumballs are a classic early modern treat: A rich, satisfying, highly-spiced, shortbread cookie. They are the single most delicious thing we’ve cooked from the archives to date.

    Even a quick search to define the term revealed the jumball’s long-term popularity, from Gervase Markam’s classic English Housewife (1649) to the iconic Mrs Beeton’s Book of Household Management (1888), with examples on many other historical cookery sites like this one. The Oxford English Dictionary generalizes among the range of different spices and methods in these various recipes to define early modern jumballs as a “kind of fine sweet cake or biscuit, formerly often made up in the form of rings or rolls.”

    In LJS 165 there are two recipes for jumballs back to back: “To Make Jumballs / My Mother Anges receipt” and “My Lady Chanworths receipt for Jumballs.” We thought that the first recipe’s mention of the compiler’s mother (or another source’s mother) was a poignant look into the perennial practice of handing down knowledge from mother to child, most likely mother to daughter. But the final instruction in that first recipe — soaking the baked jumballs in vinegar overnight — was not especially appealing, although it is very likely an excellent method for preserving the biscuits. Besides, who among us can take delicious cookies out of the oven and not eat them immediately? We decided to prepare the second recipe instead: “My Lady Chanworths receipt for Jumballs.” (If any readers try the alternate recipe, we’d love to hear how it turns out.)

    The writers give the original recipe for Jumballs, and then give a modern recipe for it. Perhaps some of the people here who enjoy baking stuff might like to try their hand at making Jumballs?

  128. says

    Kevin @170:

    I’m still upset about that which made me leave, but I’m going to share something here for those who aren’t my Facebook friends (if you want my name, kd9280 at Google’s mail service is my e-mail.)

    I don’t know the circumstances surrounding what you’re referring to, but I like reading your comments here and hope you’ll return someday when you choose.

    Anyway: here’s a preview of my wedding photos. A few more to come later.

    Such lovely photos. Thank you for sharing them.

  129. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    @kevin, #170:

    I’m so sorry that you have been driven away.

    I enjoyed having you here. I enjoyed your enthusiasm for your (then upcoming) wedding. I’ll miss your voice here if it remains absent.

  130. carlie says

    Kevin – those pictures are fantastic. Is it shallow to say I love her shoes? Because OMG those shoes. And you both look so happy in all of the pictures. I think my favorite is the one of you two crossing the street – casual and candid and joyful. :)

  131. Akira MacKenzie says

    DId PZ put the North Star comments on moderate or something. I posted a comment and it isn’t appearing.

  132. Akira MacKenzie says

    Oh! I just saw Tony’s comment above. Damn! I just spent an hour on my last comment.

  133. Akira MacKenzie says

    No, no, I found out what it was. I quoted someone who used a racial slur directly and the blog didn’t like that. (Not that I blame it.) I edited the quote and it posted again. It’s up now.

  134. The Mellow Monkey says

    Re: Jumballs

    I made a triple chocolate fudge cake with milk chocolate frosting and white chocolate pudding between the layers for a family member’s birthday and, masochistically, had a slice. I’m still sick to my stomach, but it was worth it. It’s going to be a couple of days before I dare eat any further baked goods, so when that day arrives…I shall make jumballs and report on it here!

  135. cicely says

    A new Things I Won’t Work With is up over at In the Pipeline! Yay!

    Instead of being locked in a self-storage unit with two rabid wolverines, why not three?

    *snortle*

    jrfdeux: *hugs or other acceptable-and-non-intrusive gestures of acceptance, comfort, and support*.
    “It was no big deal.”
    That’s the essence of rape culture, right there.
    And you’ll get no “Dear Muslima” from me.

    75

  136. jrfdeux, mode d'emploi says

    rq, oh dear. Pneumonia is rough. :-( Here’s to your dad’s swift recovery! And I wish you the strength you need to ride it out.

    Giliell, I missed your note of support, sorry! It is so very much appreciated.

    On an unrelated note, I want one of these!! I mean, my son does. Yeah, my son.

    (IT HAS HAN SOLO IN CARBONITE!!!!!!111)

  137. Saad says

    Angelina Jolie on rape in war:

    “It is a myth that rape is an inevitable part of conflict,” Jolie said in June during the London opening of the biggest summit of its kind aimed at ending sexual violence in conflict. “There’s nothing inevitable about it. It is a weapon of war aimed at civilians. It has nothing to do with sex, everything to do with power.”

    Also applies perfectly to rape outside of war too.

  138. jrfdeux, mode d'emploi says

    On a (hopefully) more positive note, I see that the CBC is producing a new Western set in Canada that features women as the heroes. The protagonists are three women and a man, and from what I can see so far, the women are strong and independent.

    Preview here.

    Episode 1 is also up for viewing.

  139. cicely says

    The Husband and I reckon that the house is zoned for two kittehs, indoors.
    But, since people will dump their kittehs out in our general area, we tend to have a kitteh-mandated-and-maintained two-kitteh-limit in our yard, as well.
    (And no, we can’t make them indoors kittehs—it’s been tried, and The Old Firm won’t tolerate moar in-house kittehs (at least not since Pixel’s artificial “litter” was attrited out); plus, some of them have only seemed to have ever been sketchily housebroken.)
    (But we can’t just watch them starve, either.)

    *hug* for bassmike.
    Of course we notice when you’re gone!
    :)
     
    One scarecrow does not a summer make.
    Or something.
     
    It’s the cumulative effect off all the scarecrows…nurses…chefs…professional musicians….

    Ogvorbis!
    *hugs*

    *hugs* for CaitieCat.
    I’ve often thought that institutionalized bureaucratic bullshit, whether governmental or corporate (yes, there is still a difference, however small!) is constructed entirely to thin the number of applicants to those who are truly desperate—together with liberal additions of Power Tripping; and that this also embraces deliberate “mistakes”.
     
    For instance, there’s a government department that has a phone number that is close to the one where I work. It is of non-trivial importance that surviving dependents be able to contact this department. And yet, for the last…let’s see…Son was about 7 when this started, sooooo…call it 22 years or thereabouts, there’s been a press-1-for-this, press-two-for-that machine at this department, which is supposed to give the contact info, that gives the wrong number. One with a completely bogus zero interposed, giving the number as a whole too many digits, so the system ignores the last-dialed digit and calls us, instead.
     
    It’s been brought to Official Attention, repeatedly.
     
    We generally get a dozen or so such “mis-dials” referred from this “mistaken” recording per month. Most of the misdiallers are elderly; many are inexpert second-language English speakers. I do my best to put them on to the right number, and that is often an up-hill battle. How difficult would it be for them to just re-record that numbered response? In more than twenty years?
     
    So, then—tactically erroneous.
    *heavy & exasperated breathing*
     
    Anyway.
    I will grow extra thumbs especially for the purpose of holding ’em on your behalf.
    Do not trust that Nigerian prince.
    He is a duplicitous bastard.

    135

  140. hyrax says

    Guess who finally figured out Gravatar? This hyracoid!

    So… this is happening in my hometown right now:
    https://www.facebook.com/pages/Remove-The-Grand-Haven-Cross/690252574396082
    In a nutshell, there is a huge hydraulic cross on city property– a large sand dune opposite the river from a public park– that is used on Sundays by one particular church group that meets in the park. The cross can be seen from a few miles away, since it’s on a hill, and is blatantly and obviously unconstitutional. (I emailed the ACLU a few years ago about this, and their response was basically “Yeah, we know, we’re on it.”) Hemant Mehta has written about this.

    Well, someone finally decided to actually complain officially to the city, and… now the townsfolk are up in arms, wanting to keep the cross. (The “Remove the Cross” facebook group has 6000. SIGH.) The pro-cross contingent have so far displayed a stunning ignorance of constitutional law and precedent, and have been as bullying and obnoxious as only Christians with an imaginary persecution can be. My mom fb-liked the “Remove the Cross” page, and…. she had friends comment to her “you’re so brave! I’m afraid of getting death threats!” For LIKING A FACEBOOK PAGE.

    It’s just so frustrating that the obviously wrong– and here I don’t mean necessarily morally wrong, but just straight-up factually incorrect– faction of this argument has been so vocally mean that people are afraid to voice their support for reason. And, you know, the US constitution.

  141. says

    “Bunnies.
    Bunnies.
    There must be bunnies.
    And maybe midgets.”
    (glances at awakeinmo’s gravatar) :)

    ****

    I’m still trying to figure out what a hyrax is (assuming it is a thing and not something sorta kinda imaginary like a ‘Shoop’) and now I have to figure out what a hyracoid is??

  142. hyrax says

    Heeheehee. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyrax

    If you had to guess what kind of animal a “hyrax” is just from that name, I doubt many people would guess “a fat groundhog-looking guy with vampire teeth and perpetually smug look on its face.” I think they’re adorable, plus they’re related to elephants. (And it’s a cool word, and a gender-neutral ‘nym that has nothing to do with my actual name, which is Ayla.)

  143. says

    I know we’ve discussed this before, but I would just like to add this update from Germany:

    All German universities are now free to Americans and all other international students. The last German state to charge tuition at its universities struck down the fees this week.

    In explaining why Germany made this move, Dorothee Stapelfeldt, a Hamburg senator, called tuition fees “unjust” and added that “they discourage young people who do not have a traditional academic family background from taking up study. It is a core task of politics to ensure that young women and men can study with a high quality standard free of charge in Germany.”

    Even before Germany abolished college tuition for all students, the price was a steal. Typically semester fees were around $630. What’s more, German students receive many perks including discounts for food, clothing and events, as well as inexpensive or even free transportation.

    http://www.wtsp.com/story/news/2014/10/03/german-colleges–free-degrees–americans/16658027/

    Compare that to the almost $30,000 average for per-student loan debt in the USA.

  144. says

    3 billion gallons of oil industry wastewater has been injected illegally into California Aquifers

    […] The wastewater entered the aquifers through at least nine injection disposal wells used by the oil industry to dispose of waste contaminated with fracking fluids and other pollutants. […]

    The state’s Water Board confirmed beyond doubt that at least nine wastewater disposal wells have been injecting waste into aquifers that contain high-quality water that is supposed to be protected under federal and state law. […]

  145. cicely says

    *hugs* and support for rq.
    I hope things go as well as may be, with your parental units.

    Kevin:
    1) *hugs*.
    2) Your wedding photos are lovely!
    I particularly like the purple petticoats.
    :)

    Tony!, The Husband and I have a copy of Martha Washington’s Booke of Cookery. It was fascinating to read it and compare with both modern-day recipes, and the medieval/Renaissance recipes we were looking at, especially the gingerbreads.
     
    (Later)

    Black handyman is treated like a criminal. White attorney shuts that shit down.

    Hurray for the white attorney!

  146. says

    An addition for our Republicans-saying-stupid-stuff file:

    […] Colorado Republican attorney general candidate Cynthia Coffman can be seen telling supporters that she intends to lead a legal fight against the U.S. government to seize America’s national forests and public lands for state ownership and control. […]

    Across the West, there is a growing group of fringe politicians advocating a transfer of America’s public lands to state ownership and control. Critics have noted that the proposals would saddle state taxpayers with the high costs of fighting wildfires and managing national forests and public lands, resulting in higher taxes and a sell-off of public lands to private interests.

    National public lands make up 36 percent of Colorado, help support a $13.2 million outdoor recreation economy in the state, and are a top destination for tourism […]

    I think Utah politicians (more than 80% of them mormon) know that the result of such a move would result in the sale of public lands to private individuals and corporations. That’s what they want.

    http://thinkprogress.org/climate/2014/10/10/3578488/colorado-ag-candidate-national-forests-public-lands/

  147. says

    In reference to my comment #204 above, here’s some more info on conservative state legislators and governors who want to take over federal public lands:

    […] Gov. Gary R. Herbert of Utah, a Republican, signed into law House Bill 148. It asks the federal government, which owns a majority of the land in the state, to give back more than 20 million acres. A similar measure, passed by the Arizona Senate last month, is awaiting further action in the Capitol in Phoenix. Bills patterned after Utah’s are being prepared for filing next year in Colorado, Idaho, Montana and New Mexico, lawmakers involved in the effort said. […]

    This summary is from March 2012. Many of the states mentioned have since made some progress in building support for such measures.

  148. rq says

    Update on dad: it’s not pneumonia, some other infection that seems to be responding to antibiotics. Stress levels lowering.

  149. says

    Here’s yet another addition to our Republicans-saying-stupid-stuff file:

    Jeff Bell, the Senate Republican candidate in New Jersey blamed single mothers for his poor polling among women, claiming that they are dependent on government benefits.

    On Thursday, Bell told the Asbury Park Press that his lack of female support comes from the rise in single mothers in New Jersey who are “automatically Democratic because of the benefits.”

    “They need benefits to survive, and so that kind of weds them to the Democratic Party,” he said.

    Bell then suggested that popularity with male voters is a better sign, as men are “more willing to vote for change.” […]

    http://thinkprogress.org/election/2014/10/10/3578647/new-jersey-gop-single-mothers/

  150. says

    @206 rq, I’ve been watching so much anime lately, the first thing that comes to mind is a long, relieved, “yokatta!”, which is sorta ” oh, good!”, colloquially. Hugs offered. Going gaming tonight, just to get out of the flat. Craig brought home extra food from the daycare’s kitchen (in which he is the chef), on the Thanksgiving theme, so a nice dinner in me too.

    Hugs offered all around, you people make my life better than without you.

  151. Ogvorbis says

    Tony @ 198:

    I’m still trying to figure out what a hyrax is

    Those are the really high-strength glass dishes that can be used in the oven. Right?

    rq @206:

    Good news on rqdad.

  152. Ysidro says

    So, is anyone else getting random spam from some group called “Openly Secular”? I know I didn’t sign up for any mailing list. Heck, after one email Google decided to relegate the next one to the Spam folder. And I can’t manually unsubscribe from their emails. Apparently it has something to do with Dawkins? WTF? Did the Institute buy up mailing lists from groups I DO want to hear from? Do they think getting my inbox filled with crap is going to make me give them money?

  153. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Assisted the Redhead in casting her vote-by-mail ballot. The liberturds were totally and utterly ignored as ignorant and arrogant fuckwits….

  154. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Actually, I get the feeling the liberturds will help to split the RWA vote, and allow the democrats to sweep the state-wide offices.

  155. toska says

    Nerd of Redhead

    Actually, I get the feeling the liberturds will help to split the RWA vote, and allow the democrats to sweep the state-wide offices.

    I wish this were true in my state. I think we’re looking at a red-out year this time. Hopefully other states will have some sense.

  156. says

    Threadrupt but dropping in to share a Kickstarter a friend is involved with that I think some here may be interested in

    https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1720861557/daughters-of-mercury

    Daughters of Mercury is a project I’ve been planning as a way to help support some amazing women by doing what I do best. In the past few years, I have become engaged with communities of trans women online, and this series grew out of my love for these friends and consciousness of transmisogyny and cissexism. I want to depict the diversity of women and expand what society considers a female body.

    The name refers symbols associated with alchemical transformation through medicine and communication, more than the specific mythology of the messenger god and his progeny. Better Living Through Chemistry! That said, Mercury is the mother of metals, and the daughters of the angelic god include dryads and the “silent daughters”. I’m not much of a romantic or mystic, but arguably, the painting process is one of transmutation of pigment into life. Its negotiations of representation parallel the continual aesthetic and cultural decisions trans women are often forced to make.

    I will negotiate with each model about how they want to be represented, either complicating the conventional portraitist’s art of flattery with the dynamics of gender dysphoria, or celebrating features stigmatized as masculine as a woman’s features. Working toward around a dozen large scale portraits, the depictions will range from fantastical nudes, like Alice, above, to professional realism, and include models of color, size, and disability.

    Respect for the models and making sure they are comfortable with the process is central. I want to depict the beauty and personality of ordinary and extraordinary women, whose history of depiction has often been stigmatized, degendering, or oversexualized, if seen at all. The Western oil painting tradition carries conventions both of objectification and elevation, but my work has instinctively dealt with how I look at women as a woman, and with Manet-like disruption of iconic composition.

    Funding will go not only toward my time spent working on the project, travel expenses, and materials, but as much as possible toward compensating the models, who often have more regular medical expenses than others and fewer ways to cover them. Many are also working towards various different surgeries. I want to also promote my models’ work and employ them throughout the project. Each will at minimum provide a text to accompany their portrait. Updates during the funding phase will showcase confirmed models.

    Should I reach the goal, I will push for 10K more to fund an exhibition, to which all backers will receive invitations. I am already open to proposals for spaces, in New York especially. Whether this will simply be a pop-up or a longer term show will depend on what budget becomes available. Beyond that, will push for double the funding to make two calendars, nude and clothed, doubling the number of paintings.

    By backing this project, you are buying quality art, sincerely made, helping support trans women, and contributing to better awareness of transfeminist issues in art. In addition to backing for an original painting, prints, calendars, just images, or just to support, please share it with understanding audiences. Abuse and argument will be ignored and educational answers will be brief. Contact me if you or someone you know would like to be involved.

    A friend is excited to be a model for the project and I’d really love to see it succeed for their sake.

    Thanks

  157. says

    Waves at Ing!

    ****

    rq:
    Glad to hear your father’s condition is improving.

    ****

    CaitieCat:
    ’round these parts, Oktoberfest is one of the best selling Samuel Adams seasonal beers. The worst is Winter Lager.

  158. says

    rq @163

    Ooh, yes, Edward Gorey! I have a watch with one of his kitty pics on it. Bought it at the Art Institute in Chicago. :)

    I’m sorry about your father, too. I hope he gets well, soon.

    Kevin, lovely wedding photos!

  159. says

    I started building a world. For whatever reason, I started with the calendar, and you can see my (shitty) working-calendar here — names/days subject to change, left room to pencil in holidays and astronomical events, this is a work in progress.

  160. Snoof says

    WMDKitty: It might be worthwhile working out what the calendar is for. Is it an agricultural calendar, used to plan harvests? Is it an astronomical calendar, based on tracking the movement of the sun and the stars, possibly for religious purposes? Are there centralised governments which use it for planning and tracking tax revenue and expenditure? All of the above? A strongly seafaring culture is going to base their calendar on winds and current shifts over the course of the year, while an agricultural culture is more interested in rainfall, frost and sun. A forager culture will be concerned with what foods are in season at any given time and the migration of herds of animals. How does the calendar relate to the things that are important for people to track?

    Who were the people who invented it? They numbered the days rather than naming them after people or deities; does that imply they had a somewhat mechanistic viewpoint? Does it imply widespread numeracy (counting to thirty, at least)? How does that contrast with the more poetic month names? Were they taken from an earlier culture, or are they later additions by a less numerically-oriented people?

    When is market day? Washing day? Do people have a particular day for worship? Are there cultural holidays? Are some days more auspicious than others for various things?

    (Just a few thoughts. I love worldbuilding.)

  161. says

    Good morning

    Caitie
    And my scatterbrains forgot that the eaten comment contained something I wrote to you.
    Yay for appeals lawyer, boo for buerocratic bullshit. Yes, that fuck is intentional and it means that the weakest are the most likely to get thrown under the bus. People with no support structure of friends and family, people with little education who don’t even understand what’s going on, people too sick to deal with the whole thing.

    And second your hate on the Oktoberfest. Even more since the original thing in Munich decided that being a multi-million dollar business with tourists from all over the world they couldn’t afford the support service for people who have been sexually assaulted anymore. Not, of course, because it was not necessary, they handled several hundred cases each year…

    jrfdeux
    No need to apologize

    +++
    And now for doing some crafting. I’ve started a few project which have a DEADLINE!!!111!!!!

  162. says

    snoof

    *scribbling notes to self*

    Thanks, the rudimentary “calendar”, such as it is, was mostly to work out the structure of the year, sort of lay out the time-scale (and get the damn moons to sync up). The current names are placeholders, designed to help me keep track of things. I need to throw in a few more planets, get the seasons/months sorted out (ultimately, I expect to name months and days after deities — I’m still working out how many and relevant spheres of influence — and to fiddle with the moons a bit more.).

    My primary focus, I guess, is going to be a small-ish village, on/near a river, about two days’ travel (on foot, leisurely pace) from a large(r) city.

    Small village will likely be more agricultural (poss. fishing) than anything else, overall society (as far as I’ve planned out [I’m mostly winging it]) should be based a bit more on an actual trade economy — something of a trade center for the immediate area?

  163. says

    Giliell, yes. Here – one of the largest outside Germany, for historical and cultural reasons, in this very German town – it’s just a giant 10-day pissup for tourists. No one here likes it except the people and corporations that own hotels and festhalls; 10 days of university students from out of town throwing up in the bushes and committing petty vandalism and, yes, lots of sexual assault. The only time in the year the buses are free, after 11 on weekend nights, and it’s not the people who pay for the buses who get the benefit, except in keeping the drunks from killing each other on the roads. A useful goal, to be sure, but it’d be nice if the people who pay the bills could get a free ride once in a while.

    Grumble grumble. Kids today! It’s got to be their fault somehow.

    Onions, belts, style. You know the drill. I’m gonna go shout at clouds for a while.

  164. birgerjohansson says

    Lynna @ 200,
    Now guess which country is going to end up with the best-educated work force a generation from now, when competition from China will be even more fierce than today.
    Those who have engineered the current high American tuition fees have sunk the ability of USA to compete in the long term, when foreign people with PhDs no longer regard a career in USA as the default option. The “brain-drain” is likely to go to Europe, Japan or China as career options open up.

  165. Gorogh, Lounging Peacromancer says

    Did anyone post this yet? Ken Ham is in trouble (secondary source ’cause that’s where I got it from), not entirely unanticipated. Although after the Hobby Lobby ruling, I think everything is possible.

    The developer of a Noah’s Ark-based theme park in Kentucky said on Wednesday he would fight for his religious rights after state officials warned he could lose millions in potential tax credits if he hires only people who believe in the biblical flood.

  166. Gorogh, Lounging Peacromancer says

    Also from the above link, ” With the lights on his marked police car still flashing, the trooper handed Bogan a warning ticket. Then, Bogan said, Hamilton posed some personal questions. Did she have a home church? Did she accept Jesus Christ as her savior?”

    Considering police brutality, racism, and incompetence, this was only a matter of time.