The War on Christmas is coming early this year


Oh, Christ. Kirk Cameron’s newest schlock venture is about “Saving Christmas”.

He promises to put the Christ back in Christmas. I think all the people who want a religious celebration get a religious celebration every year, no problem. And I think those of us who don’t want a religious celebration should be free to have a secular holiday, no problem. So this is a non-solution to a non-problem, and the only reason Kirk Cameron and his ilk think it’s a problem is that what they really want to do is impose religious views on those of us who don’t want them.

Christmas doesn’t need saving. The evangelicals need to fuck off, leave the rest of us alone, and get as jesusy as they want. We sure aren’t stopping them.

Comments

  1. Alverant says

    Let me guess, it’s going to be about forcing everyone to acknowledge Christmas and only Christmas while ignoring all the other holidays in December (except for Haunacka (sp) so they can claim to be diverse).

  2. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    I think I’m going to puke.
    (but maybe that’s the gun thread)

  3. says

    Oh lord. [/Leela]

    Most Christians don’t celebrate a properly Jesusy xmas. If Cameron was just schlocking in the direction of other Christians, it might at least have some entertainment value.

  4. says

    Not everybody in the world speaks english. There’s such a thing as other countries that have different languages then the evengalical merrikans.
    Like in the netherlands, we can’t put christ in christmas at all! Because it’s called Kerstmis and kerst isn’t christus. Or France, where it’s called Noël. I have tried putting christ in there but it just doesn’t fit.. at all. Or German Weinachten. No Christ there either.

    Crap.. the rest of the world sure has a problem with christ and christmas it seems!

  5. yazikus says

    I give you Kirk Cameron:

    “It’s a scripted story about a guy named Christian White who represents the typical white Christian male”

    Come on PZ, how could you leave out a quote as amazing as this?????

  6. Kevin Kehres says

    The Pilgrims forbade the practice totally, so a true “American Christian” Christmas would be … well … ignoring it altogether. And not just in the early days — well into the 1850s. In fact, it wasn’t until the 1870s when Christmas became a Federal holiday that New Englanders started celebrating.

    So, Kirk, I’m 100% in favor of you reverting to the “traditional” American celebration of Christmas. I don’t need another tie, so I’m good.

  7. knowknot says

    - Poor Kirk. I can’t call to mine a more perfect image of tectoinically misguided, pathetically well-meaning (like a silly pupoy), empty-headed, saccharine civil, personally-dangerous-only-in-extremis, but socially and politically virulent organism.
    – Honestly, he’s like a cross between a fruit fly, an advetising blimp, and Josef Goebbels’ silly, inept, mascot brother.

  8. sugarfrosted says

    I’m glad they had to settle for someone as untalented as Kirk Cameron. Watching the first two Left Behind movies I realized two things: The people are idiots, who are only saved by the Antichrist being more of an idiot (in other words terribly written) and that Kirk Cameron couldn’t act his way out of a paper bag; He’s very stilted and very boring to watch. He reminds me of the majority of Christian subgenre musicians in that people only buy their crap because they advertise themselves as Christian, (to be fair this doesn’t describe all Christian subgenre groups/musicians.)

  9. says

    The Antichrist being an idiot is a given because of the source material. After all for all the Rapture nonsense to happen the Antichrist, Satan, and the rest have to be idiots who stick to a plan revealed to be a failure two thousand years ago.

  10. sambarge says

    He’s starting the “War on Christmas” routine before Labour Day? It’s pretty tacky to be complaining about the lack of Christ in Christmas when you’re still wearing summer white pants and shoes.

    Doesn’t he know anything about style and fashion?

  11. What a Maroon, oblivious says

    pascallede watering, @4,

    Or France, where it’s called Noël. I have tried putting christ in there but it just doesn’t fit.. at all. Or German Weinachten.

    Put the “no” back in Noël. Put the wein back in Weinachten!

  12. mabell says

    For those who couldn’t get enough of Christmas with a Capital C (2011). I don’t know Kirk. Daniel Baldwin left some pretty big shoes to fill.

  13. microraptor says

    The evangelicals need to fuck off, leave the rest of us alone, and get as jesusy as they want.

    But to evangelicals, being jesusy means “annoy the fuck out of everyone else.”

  14. Scr... Archivist says

    microraptor @20,

    They just want us all to invoke the name of their lord and savior every time they say something stupid.

  15. robro says

    sambarge — Well you know, Christmas starts earlier every year, so why not the War on Christmas. Actually, I started my personal War on Christmas on Boxing Day last year. I don’t want to do what my family did ever again. Period.

  16. robro says

    …the only reason Kirk Cameron and his ilk think it’s a problem is that what they really want to do is impose religious views on those of us who don’t want them.

    Perhaps it has something do with money, too?

  17. robster says

    Yeah, but which christmas (or Xmas), there’s a couple of completely conflicting stories (or myths) in that nasty old bible of theirs, which do we or should we believe under threat of eternal damnation? Oh the dilemma.

  18. says

    I remember a whiny commentator on Catholic Radio complaining how it “hurt her heart” when a chirpy department store assistant wished her “Happy Holidays.” The Xmas-“savers” are such wimps! (I’m sure “Xmas” just hurt her heart again, wherever she is.)

  19. What a Maroon, oblivious says

    Actually, I’m ok with putting Christ back in Christmas, as long as he says there. Put him back, slam the door shut, lock the door and throw away the key.

    The problem is that he’s always getting out.

  20. microraptor says

    Actually, I’m ok with putting Christ back in Christmas, as long as he says there. Put him back, slam the door shut, lock the door and throw away the key.

    The problem is that he’s always getting out.

    So he’s like Animaniacs except without being funny, clever, or entertaining?

  21. What a Maroon, oblivious says

    So he’s like Animaniacs except without being funny, clever, or entertaining?

    Um, yeah…. [Running to Google to get the cultural reference….]

  22. JohnnieCanuck says

    Daz @25
    There’s more than just Thor’sday. It’s followed by Frigge/Freya (Venus), Saturn, Sun, Moon, Tiw and Woden/Odin. They are a mix of Northern European and Roman gods. Romance languages, like French, use Jeudi (Jupiter) for Thursday, followed by Vendredi (Venus), Samedi (Sabbath), Dimanche (Lord), Lundi (Luna) and Mardi (Mars).

    But you knew that already. I didn’t, I had to look several of them up.

  23. gmacs says

    What the fuck did I just watch?

    Did I just watch them contradict themselves? Are Jesus and Santa fighting over a car that they both stole from the Druids?

    What the hell is that creepy chamber? Is this a ’90s grunge video?

    Maybe if I play some Tool over it…

  24. brucemartin says

    I wonder how much this movie dwells on the Christian Midnight Mass?
    I’m sure everyone knows that that is the ONLY part of Christmas that has not yet been traced back to pre-Christian pagan activities. Not that say Druids hadn’t been holding midnight ceremonies for thousands of years before then, for all we know.

    I like what one DarkMatter2525 video said:
    It should be: Have a Merry There’s-No-God-Day.

  25. Ichthyic says

    He promises to put the Christ back in Christmas.

    good luck with that. Dude owes me five bucks; can’t even get him to answer his cell phone.

  26. Ichthyic says

    “Santa carjacked Jesus”

    Santa is one bad mothe…

    *shh*

    I’m just talkin’ ’bout Santa!

  27. Ichthyic says

    It should be: Have a Merry There’s-No-God-Day.

    someday…

    really, looking forward to “We finally abandoned all our superstitious, destructive, baggage Day”

  28. Ichthyic says

    all you have to do with the way the site is currently, is just add a space in front of the url.

    just fyi.

  29. Ichthyic says

    “It’s a scripted story about a guy named Christian White who represents the typical white Christian male”

    subtle.

    if that’s the hero, let me guess the villain’s name…

    Obama?

  30. microraptor says

    if that’s the hero, let me guess the villain’s name…

    Obama?

    Obama Stalin-Hussein

  31. Crimson Clupeidae says

    Christian White? Really? That’s subtle…..

    When I know someone is a rightwing faith head, I try to say ‘Happy Holidays’ in the same way they say ‘bless you’ or ‘I’ll pray for you’. I haven’t managed quite the same level of condescending sneer, but I keep practicing.

    Otherwise, I say it all sincerity. :)

  32. David Marjanović says

    Like in the netherlands, we can’t put christ in christmas at all! Because it’s called Kerstmis and kerst isn’t christus.

    Uh, of course he is. ~:-|

    Or France, where it’s called Noël.

    It’s from “natal”… the birth of…

    (…Newton, of course. By the calendar in use at the time, Isaac Newton was born on December 25th.)

    Or German Weinachten. No Christ there either.

    It’s spelled Weihnachten with a silent h because it’s from weihen, “to consecrate”, and Nacht, “night”.

    Put the Krampus back in Christmas!

    He doesn’t belong there. He belongs together with St. Nicholas, who comes on Dec. 6th.

    I remember a whiny commentator on Catholic Radio complaining how it “hurt her heart” when a chirpy department store assistant wished her “Happy Holidays.”

    Because she’s American and doesn’t get any vacation?

    I’m sure “Xmas” just hurt her heart again, wherever she is.

    Χ of course being the first letter of Christ.

  33. Ichthyic says

    David… the entire post you are addressing meant “Christ” literally.

    as in the exact, english, word.

  34. ledasmom says

    I hate it when War On Christmas season starts before the War On Thanksgiving.
    Can’t we just put the “as” back in Christmas? That seems as if it should be easier. It’s shorter.