The first day of classes! »« Beyoncé strikes a mighty blow for feminism

Comments

  1. says

    I gotta quote this.

    Make a man a fire and he’s warm for a day, set the man on fire and he’s warm for the rest of his life.

    I am playing a necromancer and just said it and it seems to have gone over people’s heads.

  2. thunk: Prater arcade winnings says

    Hello all!

    I’m feeling mostly all right, though I’m still so nervous. At least I talked to people today. I want to present as a woman (or thereabouts; it’s complicated), though I’m not there yet mentally. And it’s awkward to explain to people that “no that man-like thing you see is not a man”. Bluh.

    Morgan;
    I will agree with you about Viennese coffee houses, having been to some of them a fortnight ago. I don’t drink coffee, but I like my tea steeped in history. (Also I kinda want a few Manner to munch with that tea now)

    rq, carlie, etal:

    Nutella sounds delicious. I’ll get some next time I find some bliny.

  3. Desert Son, OM says

    carlie at #712 [212] from previous:

    Thank you! Good wishes for the estimate process tomorrow!

    ****

    Anne at #713 [213] from previous:

    Thank you!

    Still learning,

    Robert

  4. JAL: Snark, Sarcasm & Bitterness says

    Tony! The Queer Shoop

    I still prefer her as part of Destiny’s Child.

    I LOVED DC growing up, especially Writing on the Wall. When she went solo, I just found her catchy but blah. And everywhere. But I’ve listened to Kelly Rowland’s latest CD, Talk a Good Game, a fuck lot. She talks about dealing with B’s stardom and an abusive ex on a track, Dirty Laundry. As a fellow survivor it’s good but hard to listen too. It’s really important to get that out there though since no one thinks of victims looking and being successful like her. Kelly’s sound is more R&B and edgier, which is probably why I like it so much more. Reminds me of old DC and TLC, while B just sounds like pop to me, which isn’t really my bag.

  5. thunk: Prater arcade winnings says

    Funny, the second link broke into video, the first didn’t… Sorry!

    rq:

    I might want to learn Latvian, just for the hell of it. Contact me at hcivoprak and google’s email server.

  6. Desert Son, OM says

    Dalillama at #3:

    Great news about the job going well!

    Sorry about the game hiatus. :(

    Still learning,

    Robert

  7. Desert Son, OM says

    Following on thunk’s post at #6:

    KTNN AM 660 The Voice of the Navajo Nation based out of Window Rock, Arizona, with 50,000 Watts and a broadcast range covering much of the western United States. Click on the “Listen Live” link at the lower left of the sidebar to hear the broadcast in Diné bizaad.

    Still learning,

    Robert

  8. HolyPinkUnicorn says

    @thunk #6:

    Just flew that route a week ago–only difference was that it was a newer 747-8, not a 400. Eleven hours on a plane gets a little long in the tooth after a while…though Greenland did look pretty spectacular from 35,000 feet.

  9. ceesays says

    And I’m not the bus back to calgary.

    I was into Destiny’s child but I have admiration for B’s solo work.

  10. JAL: Snark, Sarcasm & Bitterness says

    There’s also:

    Dawn Richard’s Goldenheart, which is pop-y R&B with techo splashes. It’s the first of a trio of albums to come based on her being a fantasical queen during wartime that she says inspired by everyday melodrama.

    Elle Varner’s Perfectly imperfect, a jazzy, soulful R&B with a track called “So Fly” where she talks about societal pressure and expectation of women’s bodies.

    And while everyone’s raving about Beyonce, it’s important not to forget Niki Minaj who’s BEEN an outspoken feminist and hasn’t played around it at all. Here’s a tumblr post contrasting her Anaconda video*, which is taking a lot of heat and Taylor Swift’s latest video. She’s one badass feminist. She also does a lot of good work not just being a spokesperson.

    I can’t get into her music even though I like rap just because it’s, again, not my style. For rap, I’m more into Eve’s Lip Lock. She’s also a feminist who works on empowering women and girls, helping women get into the game (actually features less known or up and coming artists. I keep hearing how B does this but don’t see it. Her baby gets in the performance but she doesn’t help her struggling singer/songwriter sister even? lol) and is extremely vocal about it all.

    Here’s also a list of 10 Hip Hop Feminists. It’s always been there, whites just don’t like how they do it.

    *The person that reblogged that tumbler post, Ellen Oh (here’s her own opinion on the subject) is an author I follow who helped start the #WeNeedDiverseBooks campaign. I know I’ve plugged that before but I thought it could bear repeating. I haven’t read her work, though plan to, so I can’t personally recommend it. However, she’s on awesome progressive person. Her tumblr is full of Ferguson news, including this, and other issues.

  11. JAL: Snark, Sarcasm & Bitterness says

    Ah crap, what’s the link limit again? I hit moderation so I think that’s my problem with my last post.

  12. JAL: Snark, Sarcasm & Bitterness says

    Part 1:
    There’s also:

    Dawn Richard’s Goldenheart, which is pop-y R&B with techo splashes. It’s the first of a trio of albums to come based on her being a fantasical queen during wartime that she says inspired by everyday melodrama.

    Elle Varner’s Perfectly imperfect, a jazzy, soulful R&B with a track called “So Fly” where she talks about societal pressure and expectation of women’s bodies.

    And while everyone’s raving about Beyonce, it’s important not to forget Niki Minaj who’s BEEN an outspoken feminist and hasn’t played around it at all. Here’s a tumblr post contrasting her Anaconda video*, which is taking a lot of heat and Taylor Swift’s latest video. She’s one badass feminist. She also does a lot of good work not just being a spokesperson.

    *The person that reblogged that tumbler post, Ellen Oh (here’s her own opinion on the subject) is an author I follow who helped start the #WeNeedDiverseBooks campaign. I know I’ve plugged that before but I thought it could bear repeating. I haven’t read her work, though plan to, so I can’t personally recommend it. However, she’s on awesome progressive person. Her tumblr is full of Ferguson news, including this, and other issues.

  13. JAL: Snark, Sarcasm & Bitterness says

    Part Two:
    I can’t get into her music even though I like rap just because it’s, again, not my style. For rap, I’m more into Eve’s Lip Lock. She’s also a feminist who works on empowering women and girls, helping women get into the game (actually features less known or up and coming artists. I keep hearing how B does this but don’t see it. Her baby gets in the performance but she doesn’t help her struggling singer/songwriter sister even? lol) and is extremely vocal about it all.

    Here’s also a list of 10 Hip Hop Feminists. It’s always been there, whites just don’t like how they do it.

  14. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    ….eh, it was about time to wash the sheets anyway…. :3

  15. rq says

    Hello, Desert Son! Post as often as you like, I’ll enjoy reading it no matter!

    sueinnm
    Thank you for sharing.
    If it’s not too late, I would like to add to the *hugs* pile.
    Also, I have a sledgehammer that you can borrow; there’s a pile of trash (old furniture, unused china sets, I think a record player, too) out behind the Lounge, free for the smashing. If that helps any.

    thunk
    Email sent, though it’s rather devoid of information right now.

    ceesays

    And I’m not the bus back to calgary.

    I’m trying to figure out if (a) you are on the bus; (b) you are not on the bus or (c) you have resolved some identity issues. ?

  16. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    A Noyd,
    Those tweets made my morning. Or rather, the last one and then rereading the whole thing while laughing.

    sueinnm,
    I’ll be glad if you decide to hang around more. Thank you for sharing.

    Giliell,
    Good to see you again. How is vacation going?

  17. opposablethumbs says

    not managing to keep up, but –

    lots of well-wishes to sueinnem
    hugs and happy hello-agains to Desert Son, it’s always good to read you – in any thread, you always have interesting/valid/powerful comments
    aaaargh for the not-daring-to-get-repair-estimates situation :-(((

  18. Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate) says

    thunk
    Good to see you! *hugs* if you want ‘em and kudos for the bravery, talking to people is hard.

    sueinnem
    I haven’t said hello yet. Welcome in. You’re not alone, not even a little bit.

    I’d like to say more but i’ve already dawdled too much this morning.

  19. rq says

    This is kind of how I feel about the news lately. And today in general. Mostly because we have to go out to the country this weekend, because it’s Husband’s sister’s boyfriend’s nameday. Which means crowds of drunken people. *sigh* Naht excited, over here.

  20. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    rq,

    I’m sorry about the weekend. Is Husband at least a bit better with the drinking than others?

  21. rq says

    Beatrice
    Not when it’s family and these friends, plus it’s out in the country, so it’s just like being home!! Except, you know, we don’t make homophobic and racist jokes at home, and I just feel too overwhelmed usually to say anything to anyone.
    Oh what am I saying, it probably won’t be that bad at all. It will just be quietly assumed that I’m going to work in the kitchen, and I’ll get dirty looks when I don’t. The usual.

  22. Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate) says

    Verizon transferred me four times with each new person knowing nothing about what I was calling for, and now I’m on hold waiting for “management” because they don’t have any record of me ordering a new phone for my mom last Saturday. They claim I never spoke with their customer service and ordered the phone. I’m getting a little stabby.

  23. rq says

    Portia
    Oooh, that’s definitely stabby-worthy. :( Hope it gets sorted out with some bonus benefits for you/your mom!

  24. Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate) says

    Thanks rq.

    I hung up and called back and am now trying “0” in various automated menus to attempt to get to a real person.

    Ooooh here’s one, maybe she will help.

  25. DonDueed says

    Portia, I just had a run-in with Verizon too. My FiOS set-top box was going flaky, so I used the chat function of their customer service. The support agent cheerfully agreed to send me a new box. It never showed up.

    After several days past the due date, I called and talked to a different person. Turns out the first guy had entered the order for the new box as a “store pick-up” rather than sending it to me directly. I lost a week of service thanks to that error.

    What made it more annoying was that the second agent couldn’t credit me for that down week. I would have had to call a different department. I never did – too much of a hassle for twenty bucks or so.

  26. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    rq,

    Ugh, those expectations on top of everyone being alcoholized. I get it. I can’t help, so all I can do is say that I get it.

    It really gets a lot of fun out of fun gatherings once you realize all the kitchen and cleanup work will fall on you just because, with extra jokes at that expense from men.

    *slowly takes sharp objects away from Portia*

    Can I offer anyone a slice of pizza?
    We had various leftovers, so it’s standard pizza dough with:
    minced meat
    fresh tomatoes
    mozzarella
    some cheese resembling grana padano
    smoked Travnički cheese

  27. opposablethumbs says

    Hmm, is there any way you can absent yourself from the kitchen-assumptions zone rq ... maybe taking the kids for a nice long nature walk? Even so you’d probably have to explicitly point out before going that they will have to make lunch or there won’t be any. Or something.

    Ugh, I sympathise. This is the kind of situation where a clued-in collaborator (or several) really comes in handy …. *\vvv/* (that’s meant to be clenched fists on either side of a sharp-toothed grrr, btw, but I’m not sure how best to depict it :-) )

  28. rq says

    opposablethumbs
    I don’t know the area that well, plus it’s kind of a constant thing – like, if I’m not in the kitchen or thinking about being in the kitchen, what am I doing? Oh, doing some work outside? Well, nobody else is thinking about the kitchen, so… It’s like someone has to make sure people get fed, and apparently I’m the default, even though there are other folk around who have a much greater tie to the entire property because they’re part of the family.

    Beatrice
    Pizza? *raises hand*

    Portia
    The verdict is in: Verizon sucks!!! :( I’m sorry they’re being such idiots.

  29. opposablethumbs says

    Almost sounds like you need a work emergency meaning you’re not there at all. Except, obviously, why should you miss out on the countryside and the family-outingness of it all. It’s shitty and can be so very hard to get a grip on something as protean as deeply-ingrained assumptions. People just look at you blankly, and think it’s a fuss about nothing.

    *\vvvv/*

    grrr

  30. Desert Son, OM says

    rq at #20:

    Jaunty hellos!

    From your #37:

    Except, you know, we don’t make homophobic and racist jokes at home, and I just feel too overwhelmed usually to say anything to anyone.

    *stands in quiet empathy with*

    I have a low-level sub-surface worry at large family gatherings about instances of Casual Racism, Gun Culture Fellatio, and Christianity Is Truly Oppressed In The World Today. Blargh.

    Wishes for safe travels for you and your family without shaming and stereotype reinforcement.

    ****

    opposable thumbs at #27:

    Many delighted greetings! Good to see you!

    ****

    Portia at #39:

    THEY NEVER PLACED THE ORDER FOR THE PHONE

    Gah. Sympathies. Soooo frustrating.

    Hypothesis about companies like this (Verizon, AT&T, Time Warner Cable, Comcast come to mind): With enough oligopoly, companies don’t need to provide good customer service, they just need to have enough new customer sign-up to generate revenue edging out potential economic loss due to customer dissatisfaction.

    Still learning,

    Robert

  31. says

    rq
    I’m sorry you’re in that situation. But from what I’ve read from you in threads here, I’m sure you’ll handle it with strength and aplomb.

    Portia
    Stabby, indeed. Sorry.

    Yesterday I plucked a watermelon from my garden. Tastes like pride. And I learned a lesson about harvesting eggplants: do it while they’re young, before they get all seedy. Also, does anyone have any tips about how to judge when pumpkins are ready for harvest?

  32. Esteleth is Groot says

    So last night (apparently, I slept through it) the angry ex of my neighbor came by and kicked in the door of the building.

    Fortunately, he was confronted by another tenant and scampered before anything more than a door was damaged.

    So I am fretful over my neighbor (what a dreadful experience!) and grateful that this guy was stopped. I don’t want to begin to speculate as to his plans had he not been stopped.

    I’m also worried on behalf of a (third) neighbor, who happens to match a rough description of the angry ex. Because I don’t think that the local cops will care to distinguish between tall black men who wear dreadlocs. The fact that my neighbor is partnered with a white woman may “earn” him additional ire as well.

    *sigh*

  33. says

    Beatrice @45: Pure horror, that incident. The little girl shot the instructor in the head because her 9-year-old wrists/arms/hands could not control the recoil on an UZI set to fire automatically.

  34. says

    Tea Partiers and other far right Republicans love, love, love the Founding Fathers — in part because they are totally buying into the long list of fake quotes attributed to the FFs. Here are a few of the fake and/or misattributed quotes:

    “That government is best which governs the least, because its people discipline themselves.” — attributed to Thomas Jefferson, but not found in his writings. Henry David Thoreau’s “Civil Disobedience” is the source.

    “Most bad government has grown out of too much government”. — also attributed to Thomas Jefferson, but is actually a quote from a John Sharp Williams speech.

    Another widely cited “Henry” quotation is: “The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people, it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government — lest it come to dominate our lives and interests.” This is a more complex misquotation, because it sounds like something Henry might have said — maybe during the 1790s, after he opposed the Constitution’s adoption, when he was hoping to restrict the new government’s powers? The problem is that this quotation seems to have been entirely fabricated, and quite recently at that. The earliest reference I have found to this quotation is in two books published in 2003. But why create a bogus quotation when Henry actually said similar things about the need to restrain government? In any case, this is also frequently cited on social media sites and in political books. On Facebook the quotation has its own “common interest” page. [Info from Thomas S. Kidd, an associate professor at Baylor and author of a book about Patrick Henry.]

    Other quotes that are fake:
    “Freedom is not a gift bestowed upon us by other men, but a right that belowns to us by the laws of God and nature.” Nope, Benjamin Franklin did not say that.

    “When the people fear the government, there is tyranny. When the government fears the people, there is liberty.” Nope. Thomas Jefferson did not say that.

    Some Republican candidates are running campaigns based on these fake quotes, and selling posters of them, etc.

    http://www.buzzfeed.com/andrewkaczynski/jody-hice?bftw=pol#25gbdkf

    Maddow Blog link.

  35. rq says

    Wow, thanks, awakeinmo, that’s a very nice endorsement from you. :) Evening brightened. Also, taste the pride! … (Hope it opens up for you okay, I can’t get to the original site because it is listed as ‘Humour’ and Work Computer Says No.)

    Esteleth
    Ugh, nasty – here’s hoping all neighbours will be okay!

    Desert Son
    I’ll take the quiet empathy and cling to it, should things descend badly. Which may or may not happen, mostly dependent on Husband’s father (on/off the wagon alcoholic), who has expressed his disapproval of me in rather rude terms to Husband (in words that Husband refused to repeat to me). The rest – they’re just yer ordinary patriarchally-raised folks who see nothing wrong with the status quo (the poor are moochers! why are so many n*gg*rs in movies hahahaha! [jokes about blondes, wh*res and blonde wh*res]! we’re so awesome!! and the classic “If I had the money/power…”).

  36. rq says

    Lynna
    Feel free to post the stuff pertinent to Ferguson here, we have a giant repository of all kinds of information all through that thread!

    +++

    Also, I have been starved of adult interaction. I know this, because I came to work, and a colleague was still in, finishing up some stuff for the machine, and while I am not usually particularly verbose, I think I spent about 10 minutes talking at her before I realized she was probably enjoying the silence of the lab before that. Oops. I have now shut up.

    Remember at the beginning of the summer, we took in a Lost Potato to grow as a family project? Well, the harvest approaches, and throughout the summer, we have been collecting points, for which we get prizes. There’s one that I’m interested in, which leaves us with a lot of leftover points – but those we can transform into real potatoes, to be donated to families in need. I’m just wondering, though: plain potatoes are kind of boring, but is it possible to decorate that up with one of the prizes? (Yes, I’m going to ask, because I feel kind of… dunno… something not-quite-comfy donating kilos of just potatoes. There’s something that feels very… ?… about that.)

  37. Brony says

    @ sueinnm
    Feel free to share, respond or not. I just like understanding more about the general sorts of problems that people face. I might not be able to help with any of this but at least you can get some more of this off of your chest if you want to.
    Are you having problems finding a suitable medication? I know that with depression one has to try a particular medication for a while before one can know if it will be effective. The most that I know about bi-polar comes from having read “An Unquiet Mind” a while ago and I don’t bump into that condition in my other reading very often, which is surprising because tourette’s is all about intense emotins. I seem to remember that lithium was the only really effective medication, is that still the case?
    I’m sorry about the deductable situation. My wife’s family had a similar one where her mother had a lot of medical issues and was the one using most of the insurance. Don’t let yourself get beat yourself up over that! Life does not play fair and I have been happy to help my wife with her depression throughout our relationship. It’s like an emotionally-reversed personal version of how many don’t want to contribute to paying for social problems. That is what the insurance is for, and that is what family is for. I’m sure you help as much as you can, and humans are not so well suited for doing many things alone (it’s obvious intent and attempts to be as independent as possible that matter as a sign of character. Yours seems good).
    It’s tough having a cognitive condition that drives us to the more intense ranges of behavior and I can empathize. All the problems with acting “too much” in terms of acting and reactions in both bad and good directions that lead to a bad choices in behavior are a constant specter that hovers above us. From what I gather bi-polar is a bit harder to control than what I have to deal with though, and is shaped differently. But if it helps the reason that I see community as so important (and am fighting my own intense asocial, socially anxious nature) is that human communication is a lot like a process of consenting normalization (ideally consenting).
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Normalization_%28statistics%29
    On our own we can only see things with one perspective and one set of experiences and that makes us drift according to whatever inheritance and personal experience gives us. But by communicating we can choose among other perspectives and see how many different ways there are to look at anything you can imagine. We can in whatever groups we choose, attempt to find common denominators, group averages, and get ourselves closer to where we want to be or what we want to know. In fact as I have said around FTB, I fully believe that we are shaped by inheritance in ways that make us cognitively different and that the system runs best when we mix as many different perspectives as possible. How can any request for help be denied in that? You are not the only one with such problems. You may just act as a role model to others like you and this is the sort of community that wants to see all the problems solved.

  38. Brony says

    If group foods ever happens I make a good alfredo pizza with apples.
    @ WMDKitty 90

    Part of my mental illness?
    Not believing that I, and by extension my problems, are worth attention.

    That is a good thing to know. My wife has similar tendencies and I try to encourage her to talk about what bothers her as much as possible. You deserve to be able to talk about what bothers you.
    @ CaitieCat 180
    Is your source reliable? I know some folks with similar medical needs for a certain controversial material. If you live near me I may be able to provide an alternative to times where you run out.
    @ A. Noyd 209
    I needed that smile.
    @Anne
    Hugs and good wishes with your mother.
    @ thunk 4
    Good luck. I hate it that people tend to react to situations like yours with a strange negativity that makes no sense. At worst your choice simply does not affect them in any reasonable sense.
    @ rq
    Isn’t “qua” roughly “by way of” or “by way of its nature”? Sort of arising as a result of the nature of the thing as an object?
    The same group that did the stonehenge song did another one called “What does the fox say?” that is worth checking out.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jofNR_WkoCE
    @ JAL
    It’s not my kind of music either, but definitely something worth spreading around. Then again who knows, I never thought I would like something like Lady Gaga…
    @Portia
    Is it just me or are all companies that transmit data, phone or internet, totally screwed up as a basic matter of their nature? I hear few complaints as intense and anyone dealing with phones or cable/internet.
    @Beatrice 45
    Great. I was telling my parents that complaining about gun control made no sense because I was sure they would not support letting a child own an uzi so they probably believed in gun control as well and all that mattered was figuring out the degree of gun control. I guess this is still useful but not in the way I wanted…
    @Lynna 53
    What, the, fuck? That is a completely toxic law enforcement culture totally divorced from the community that it supposedly serves. Ferguson needs to stay in the news. I’m now convinced it’s emblematic of many, many problems. That one is going on Facebook. I was staying away for a couple of days for emotional issues but that one is worth it.

  39. rq says

    Brony

    alfredo pizza with apples

    I am intrigued.
    Also, I wasn’t asking about the ‘qua’ (I think it was Tony?), but I’ll pass on the answer. ;)
    And yeah, Ylvis does the fox song – my personal favourite? They have a dubstep lovesong. I forget the name of it, though they do an excellent job of it (I think it’s “Someone Like Me”; sorry, youtube currently inaccessible due to work).

  40. jrfdeux, mode d'emploi says

    chigau (違う)
    Immerse your feet in a basin of cool water. The soreness will vanish.

    I speak from extensive experience. I hike a lot and foot care + foot rubs are my panacea.

  41. says

    What is the substantive difference between so-called “libertarians” and conservatives these days? It used to be that libertarians were socially liberal despite also being fiscally conservative, but now I’m seeing so many “libertarians” try to discredit social justice activism that I question how liberal they actually are on social issues. I’m guessing “libertarian” is sexier than “conservative” when it comes to promoting your reactionary ideology.

  42. toska says

    Brandon Pilcher

    I’m guessing “libertarian” is sexier than “conservative” when it comes to promoting your reactionary ideology.

    That seems to be the gist of it. I know quite a few people who go with the libertarian label instead of conservative just because they don’t like the republican party. The younger anti-repub conservatives go with libertarianism. The older ones go with the tea party.

  43. cicely says

    A. Noyd:

    It’s so true.

    “Assorted Entertainment Crackers”.
    *snortlerofl*

    *hugs-back* for Giliell, and chigau (and chigau’s feet).
    :)

    *hugs* and commiserations for rq. What’s a little homophobic-bigotry-with-a-side-order-of-sexism among drunken friends, eh?

    Portia:

    I’m getting a little stabby.

    and

    THEY NEVER PLACED THE ORDER FOR THE PHONE

    then Beatrice:

    *slowly takes sharp objects away from Portia*

    *nodding*
    Never take sharp objects to a *napalm!* fight.
     
    *wheeling up a 55 lb. drum with hose and spray nozzle, and also a complete set of fire-proof outer-wear*
     
    There ya go.
    Better out than in.
    -

  44. cicely says

    Esteleth: *hugs*, and I hope you and your neighbors all suffer no fall-out from the angry-ex break-in.

    CaitieCat:

    The wonders of Racism®! Is there nothing it can’t make worse?

    *thinking hard*
     
    [time passes]
     
    Not that I know of.

    Lynna, it’s no surprise that the Party of an Idealized ’50s That Never Was, is also the Party of the Founding Fathers That Never Were.

    rq, kilos of potatoes need kilos of onions…maybe some bacon….
    Don’t use *napalm!* to fry ‘em all up, though.

    Brandon Pilcher:

    What is the substantive difference between so-called “libertarians” and conservatives these days?

    1) I don’t recognize that ‘nym, so Welcome In!
    2) My own, cynical interpretation is that a “libertarian” is often a once-Republican who cannot stomach the Wingnut Right that has rubbed its collective taint all over the Party They Used To Love, but will be damned if they go Demo!…even though many Dems have drifted so far from the left as to hardly be socially liberal at all.
    -

  45. says

    Computer was fixed, apparently the RAM had come loose somehow.

    rq, portia
    *hugs*

    Brandon Pilcher
    The closest thing to a substantive difference is that libertarians are opposed to various flavors of prohibitionism (i.e. they support ending the War on Some Drugs, usually favor legalizing prostitution/sex work, and are usually opposed to laws criminalizing homosexual activity). Some also claim to be against aggressive wars, although their actions and the rest of their rhetoric rarely bear this out.

  46. says

    continued:
    This is what passes for ‘socially liberal’ among libertarians. Also, many are ok with legal equality for women, as long as they don’t try to act like they’re equal or anything. But basically, as long as you’re a grasping, greedy sociopath who’s willing to trample the entire world to make another penny, you’re alright with them, regardless of your plumbing or sexual proclivities, as long as you’re white enough. If not, you’re sort of ok, but not really the same. I realize this is painting with a broad brush, but I’ve known a lot of libertarians in my life, and the description above covers most all of them (left-libertarians excepted, but they’re a whole different kettle of eldritch cephalopod deities).

  47. Brony says

    @ rq
    It’s nothing too special but ends up delicious.
    *Pre-made pizza crust (I want to try making from scratch at some point)
    *Alfredo sauce
    *Mozzarella
    *Minced garlic and granny smith apple bits across the top.
    *Minced garlic and butter brushed on the outside crust.
    *Converting to stuffed-crust optional but I am a professional fatass.
    I will be experimenting with bacon or anchovies next time.
    @CaitieCat
    Ok. Good luck. That has sadly been the thing that kills my social anxiety most effectively and it helps my wife with her depression (not a one-size fits all thing and involves smaller amounts because too much can make anxiety issues worse but oddly not in my case). It’s got some other associations with my mental issues that I’m still trying to figure out, but I read more journal articles functionally and with comprehension while completely blasted than at any other time. It’s a delightfully weird drug.
    @Brandon Pilcher
    I’m unsure of the full list of comparisons and contrasts between conservatives and libertarians, but here are mine anyway. I try to be fair to them but culture is what it is and does what it does.
    The substantive similarities are largely based on the fact that they are very dependent on one another politically at the moment because of the economic links. Wall Street and many economic institutions are very very paranoid and many conservatives are very invested in those institutions so that is likely why the combined political culture blasts the more economic related messages (honest and dishonest). The world is getting a lot more economically screwed up and this is just a more critical issue to them when it comes to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s_hierarchy_of_needs
    I think many really do mean it when they say they are socially progressive on social issues, but when you look at the details the things they actually do support tend to sort into very interesting categories that functionally makes them conservatives. I think the root of it is a combination of deemphasizing social politics out of political necessity, and the fact that they are very authoritarian and predatory-minded because of how the economic world is socially shaped. The way that authority is expressed in the business world has a particular shape and looks a certain way historically.
    If women getting more authority will change the business environment that makes that environment less predictable and threatens their competitiveness (this is often unconscious but should be kept in mind because it’s a rational consideration for a predator, if you can maneuver the conversation and get them to demonstrate it you get bonus points). The fact that they tend to oppose not only government but also organized social manipulation of the economic sector is also telling here. I think “aggreived-male” also intersects psychologically here authoritarians tend to form strong polarized concepts for categories when it comes to in-group psychology (as do conservatives). They will line up those categories when they socialize in sociopolitical conflicts and despite their pretended independent “alpha-male” aspect we do mix parts of implicit memory and behavior in groups for increased effectiveness.
    Their rhetoric is aimed at the government, but they hate talking about externalities like superfund sites and this is mirrored in any other conversation about the social damage done by powerful predatory authoritarian businesses. An honest libertarian should not only be able to, but should want to talk about real-world functional solutions for damage done by business (and I’m sure those people exist somewhere). That would be the ultimate defense against this sort of stereotype, but the authoritarian predatory instinct is a strong one and so you tend to see them more often as aggressive “win the argument” types instead of conversational “what do the issues look like between us and compared to reality” types (also maps with conservatives and business culture). The holders of the traditionally dominant views will tend to take an aggressive stance in conflicts as well because they technically have the “higher ground”. Responding in kind with combat strategy is sensible, but I try to turn it off with the honest ones.

  48. says

    Tony! I am not surprised – Hello Kitty is a law unto herself. I always thought she evolved from maneki nekos, Japanese lucky cats. But I don’t worry about HK, she is what she is. Somewhere I have photos of the Younger Daughter, who is Kitty for short, in the HK ballerina costume I made her many years ago.

    Hugs for them what needs ‘em. I’ve read All The Posts in the Lounge, but I’m afraid I’ll miss someone if I name names. Just know that you are in my thoughts.

  49. Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate) says

    Continuing Verizon saga:

    They’re lucky Beatrice took away the sharp objects. And that they’re out of reach of napalm. (Thanks for the smiles :) )

    Thanks for the commiseration, Loungefriends.

    Question: Should I order a (iPhone) 4S or an (Galaxy) S4 for my mom? They’re both free at this point. (Apple apparently ran out of the 5C that was on special, and no one told us that they weren’t shipping them for that reason). (I also was politely firm enough with the one actually helpful person this morning. She credited mom’s account just for the inconvenience). I don’t know why they don’t understand the first two times I tell each of them that I cannot receive an account PIN by text message because her old cell phone went down a river. Sheesh.

  50. otrame says

    Has anyone had any luck getting on Patheos this afternoon? I’ve been trying to get to my favorites and it keeps bouncing to some site selling BBQ equipment. I suppose it could me by machine but it only happens on Patheos.

  51. Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate) says

    Was transferred to new person. This is about the eleventh person I’ve spoken to and told my story seventeen times each. This new person actually caught me sobbing.

  52. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Portia, why aren’t you doing the law thing, and getting names and recording responses, while letting them know you, as a lawyer, are doing that?

  53. Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate) says

    Nerd:
    I’m telling them “No, the person I spoke to on August 23 agreed to waive that fee.” Then I am immediately and without comment transferred to a different person.

    Getting names. Huh.

    Good idea. They did know who lied to me about completing the order for that phone though.

    I don’t know how to record calls on my phone. To the google.

    This is why a lawyer who represents herself has a fool for a client. I am terrible at advocating for myself.

  54. Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate) says

    I’ve been on the phone for… a half hour? My mom brought me crab salad plate with cucumbers and a dill pickle and crackers. mmmm.

  55. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    I’ve been on the phone for… a half hour? My mom brought me crab salad plate with cucumbers and a dill pickle and crackers. mmmm.

    That should be sufficient for a retainer….

  56. carlie says

    Portia – Spouse had an experience with AT&T whereby we bought a plan for Child that was monthly pay. Came time for the second monthly pay, paid it, but got no gigs of download. Asked, was told there was no such plan in existence that gave download gigs for that price. Spouse explained that yes there was, we had signed up for exactly that, and had both paid for it and gotten it with those gigs for that price the previous month, and they still said with a straight face that no such plan had ever existed.

  57. Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate) says

    Okay, Kelly in telesales seems like a good egg. She actually explained stuff to me and told me to ask for management if the next person won’t do what I want. So that would keep us down to five people on this call.

    Yes, it’s definitely a good retainer. :)

  58. Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate) says

    Poor Demonte has caught me in the “manic laughter” stage of reaction to his “I’m not sure why they said I could do that for you, I cannot.”

  59. says

    Portia:
    My sympathies. I can only imagine how massively frustrated you are at this whole situation. Hopefully *someone* who knows what they’re doing and knows your situation will be able to resolve this.

  60. Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate) says

    Thanks Tony:)
    I cracked open a Third Shift Amber Lager to go with the crab salad plate. Plus this evening is gorgeous and the sun is hitting the river gorgeously. I am returning to…a less frenzied state of mind. Even though I’m still on hold.

  61. says

    Portia
    Call center hell goes both ways. No one there who isn’t a supervisor will be able to help you with anything but the most trivial of requests. Even managers won’t be able to help very much. However, the representatives aren’t allowed to be honest about much of anything, nor are they allowed to send you to a manager unless/until you ask for one, and have to try to discourage you then. (I’ve worked for several of these places, they’re all the same).

  62. Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate) says

    Huh. Turns out you’re spot on about trying to dissuade me from talking to a manager.

  63. jste says

    Sorry for all your mega-corp woes, Portia, I hope you get it sorted soon.

    As for iphone vs android – General opinion seems to be that iphones are easier to learn, but my grandmother got a samsung device, and used it to send her first text message despite 10 or 15 years of owning less fancy feature phones, so from my personal experience would recommend the samsung.

    carlie – Your story has me thinking – down here in Aus, you’ll have a nice fancy pile of paperwork detailing exactly what’s included in your plan – Anyone tries to tell me my plan doesn’t exist has to try and argue against the contract I signed. Even if you sign up over the phone, they’ll mail you a copy of the contract. Does this not happen in the USA?

    Why why why why why why whyyyyyyyyyy did I do that? For shits and giggles, I decided to watch some of the videos Anita’s detractors have created. Great production values for youtube vids, but I think I need a shower. I dont think even *napalm*! will help me get clean. *shudder*

  64. cicely says

    Tony!:

    http://www.thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/fbi_files_link_pioneering_christian_televangelist_to_mafia_gun_running_narcotics

    Color me completely unsurprised.

    *hugs & back-patting* and comfort for Portia.
    Are you sure you don’t want the *napalm!*?
    ‘Cause we can totally rig it for an airstrike.

    jste:

    I dont think even *napalm*! will help me get clean. *shudder*

    And I think you are seriously underestimating the amount of *napalm!* I would prescribe for such cases.
    -

  65. says

    Beatrice @45

    That is definitely disturbing, especially the interview with one of the instructors afterwards. Shooting a rifle, I did that in the boy scouts and I was eight, but we’re talking a BB rifle. Now their shooting auto-fire weapons with deadly ammo. What part of accidents happen did the nitwits forget? I thought the goal was to train the child how to handle them safely, not traumatize them!

    Lynna OM @51-52

    Actually this is common with all auto-fire weapons. Which is why open carrying them is utter ridiculous, and owning them is asking for trouble.
    http://edition.cnn.com/2013/10/24/justice/california-fake-rifle-boy-killed/
    http://www.wxyz.com/news/region/livingston-county/assault-rifle-brought-to-gun-range-teen-shoots-friend-when-gun-jams
    I don’t care that the 19 year old shouldn’t have had the gun, more so that it shows when they jam, even at a gun range, they can still kill. How many adults who own assault rifles have as much training as this 19 year old?!

    I’ve given up on the religious right ever coming to rational terms with reality short of, and I say this in jest, an act of God. They feel we must obey their doctrine or burn in hell, but if they had their way they’d send us there first. I’m sure it would be with assault rifles.

    Oh I know it’s kinda old, but, damn. File this one under police shenanigans. My second question is, how common is this?! Never though I had to watch out for homicidal police motor bikes. (I am at such a loss for words.)
    http://edition.cnn.com/2013/10/23/us/police-motorcycle-gun-discharges-at-school/index.html

    Alcohol and firearms never mix, let alone loaded firearms! (Head meet desk.) Hey…? Didn’t Skid Row do a song about this?
    http://www.denverpost.com/ci_23259938/federal-heights-woman-fatally-shot-accident-assault-rifle

  66. Desert Son, OM says

    Portia at . . . all the frustration:

    *stands in quietly solidarity with*

    In re:

    Should I order a (iPhone) 4S or an (Galaxy) S4 for my mom?

    I am unversed in many intricacies of these, and can only report on my experience with a Samsung model (ATIV Odyssey SCH-1930) with that there Windows Phone 8.0 operationalizing systematoblaster. Am also a Verizon customer (*weighty sigh*). The phone has more than enough features than I need. When I got it, I was asked what apps I wanted, and I replied: “The Place Telephone Call App, the Receive Telephone Call App, the Place and Receive Text Message App, and the Telephone Number Directory App, and they said, “No, I mean—” and we eventually ended at somewhere close to “Just . . . just . . . I’ll take the phone. Please stop selling.”

    Touch screen, texting is relatively easy and straightforward to achieve, though the touch screen is slightly smaller than the iPhone screen, so if finger dexterity is a question that is something to consider. Placing and receiving calls a breeze. Touch screen is sometimes dodgy occasionally resulting in Cheek-Induced Telephonic Interruption Syndrome, or CHITIS (pronounced with the Greek “X”).

    Windows insists on connecting to the Intartubes via Explorer, and in order to download new apps/features/different web browser I would have to establish a Microsoft account which I have thus far declined to do. The microphone is sensitive to atmospheric changes, so calls made out-of-doors during winds in excess of, say 10 mph can result in interrupted audio for the person on the other end of the line. Connects readily and easily to AzureDentition for various Cyberpunk-style communication devices, if desired. Battery life has been good thus far (typically five full days between recharging, owned the phone for 1 year so far), better when setting the screen to less audacious color schemes or background photos. Built-in camera is a little hard to get steady, stable shots, but I’m not exactly applying for a job at National Geographic, so it works for me. Comes equipped with tons of features I never use, and would be hard-pressed to name.

    I’m not sure why the general classification for these devices is called “Smart Phone,” as mine’s dumb as a post. Or as my friend Steve says, “Smart-ASS Phone is more like it.”

    I wish I knew some secret formula, magic word, or superpower that could vanquish the pain of this journey for you so far. Odyssey is right. Takes 10 years just to get “home.” In the meantime, wishes for some measure of better resolution.

    ****

    carlie at #81:

    Spouse had an experience with AT&T

    *stands with your spouse*

    My disgusts with AT&T dates back years ago when they tried various shenanigans (technical term) about a land-line service I was trying to transfer to a new residence after a move. When I finally got through to a sufficiently Dantean level of management, there was a Reading from the Riot Act, and, verily, the corporate jackasses were brought low (temporarily, and for that particular issue, whereupon they went back to being jackasses).

    Still learning,

    Robert

  67. Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate) says

    All: comments are loading weirdly and sketchily for me. Many apologies if I appear to ignore you :(

    cicely:
    it is over. Thanks for hugs.

    Desert Son:
    thanks for all that feedback about Samsung! I did select the S4. Largely because pictures are her thing and the camera is allegedly better. Plus the SD card capability. I know she can work an SD card. I’m glad to hear that the major features are easy to operate :D

    Ultimately, I got everything I needed out of that 2+hour call. Whew. Worked out free overnight shipping, got the “upgrade fee” credited to the account before I paid it on a credit card, got the online price (FREE) over the phone, got a $120 extra account credit for the previous inconvenience of them not sending a phone, and got a 16GB phone that’s only one generation old.

    Thanks for listening to me whine about it :)

  68. says

    I finished my current project. Now I’m waiting for possible parts failure – knots in the monofilament fishing line, most likely.

    Now, as to what said project is… It’s a mobile. 3/16″ dowel, wooden beads on the ends, fishing line in 10 and 25lb test, and… five vintage My Little Ponies, the smaller ones with butterfly wings. If it hasn’t fallen apart and/or down by tomorrow, I’ll see about a photo. For now I’m playing it safe and I’ve moved anything breakable out from under.

    I do hope it holds together; it’s the first mobile I’ve done in years, and certainly the heaviest.

  69. says

    Portia,

    Thank you! I wanted to display the collection, herd, whatever, and a mobile seemed good. There are two more hung individually with the Mexican cabaret dolls I turned into fairies. Limited display space = luots of things hung from the ceiling. Good thing I’m short.

  70. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    All white, but at least they thought to include a(an apparent) woman?

  71. rq says

    Acid-forming and alkaline-forming foods. I’m not sure which ones I’m not supposed to eat. But be warned: ” Those fruits marked with an * should not be eaten with other foods. They are acid externally but alkaline internally. [lemon, for one - did you know it is alkaline internally?]” OOOooooOOOooooOOooooooo…!!! Now checking out the ‘Ancient Mysteries’ tab at that site… *tee hee*

  72. dianne says

    rq@112: The first thing you’re going to do with any of the foods when you eat it is dump it in a vat of acid, so I’m not sure what it matters unless it’s so alkaline that it produces a significant exothermic reaction in your stomach.

    I really don’t understand acid/base woo. Acid/base is highly regulated in the body, you can not throw it off by eating the wrong things*. So why this obsession with acid and base in foods?

    *Though you can muck it up by breathing too rapidly or too slowly. So where’s the breathing exercise woo?

  73. rq says

    dianne
    You can muck it up by breathing differently?? I think I’m going to start a dietary trend… (Which one speeds up metabolism? ;) )

  74. says

    I’m guessing rq herself, at least, and given the way these things go, probably the other wee fellas too.

    On the up side, maybe she’ll have a reason to stay away from DrunkenHomophobiaRacismFest 14! this weekend.

  75. rq says

    carlie
    Husband, Eldest, and now me. Middle Child seems to be having a strange sort of immunity to stomach bugs in general.

  76. dianne says

    rq: If you hyperventilate enough you blow off your CO2 and can become alkalotic (i.e. hyperventilation, including due to anxiety). Conversely, if you aren’t breathing adequately to disperse CO2 you can become acidotic (i.e. emphysema). It’s rare for hyperventilation to cause a permanent issue because mostly people faint and then their breathing returns to normal. Emphysema…is a worse problem.

  77. rq says

    (Thanks, Anne, I’ll try not to lick anything in the Lounge without sterilizing it after.)

    CaitieCat
    Oddly enough, Husband himself mentioned the idea this morning, especially since Middle Child has not yet succumbed and there are two fairly immuno-compromised grannies out in the country. So we’ll see???

  78. dianne says

    Emphysema’s nasty. If you don’t worry about your breathing and your lungs are ok, it’ll all take care of itself including the acid/base aspects.

  79. rq says

    Russia invades Ukraine.
    Russian military planes fly along Latvian border.
    *sigh*
    Not helping!

  80. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    rq,

    I read about Russian military planes accidentaly (?) flying over Finland’s border the other day too.
    :/

  81. says

    Ye gods, I was hoping that wouldn’t happen. Bloody Putin is a nightmare, just a complete fucking nightmare. Let’s hope they’re just being blustering assholes about that part. :/

    No more 1940s, Russia! BAD country! BAD! Go to your crate! Go on! You’ve been very naughty. Yes, I know your father got away with it, but he was wrong too.

  82. rq says

    Beatrice
    They do fly-bys regularly, just as intimidation tactics, but this one was apparently unusually close. And yeah, they don’t usually bother Finland.

    CaitieCat
    Need a much larger crate. :P One filled with bears.

  83. says

    Russia is bullying its neighbors? Again? What the hell is wrong with people?!?!

    rq, isn’t there already a diet plan centered around breathing? Breatharianism, I believe? I don’t think anybody has quite got it to work yet, and I think the side effects are pretty nasty, though.

    Self-aggrandizing link to pictures of my pony-mobile and the rest of the herd, in my little studio: http://anne-d.dreamwidth.org/200636.html#cutid1

  84. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    Poor bears. Putin will try to wrestle with them, and that will just be an uncomfrotable experience for everyone involved.

    Except maybe Putin. He’s just… Putin.

  85. says

    And his (Putin’s) international cadre of fanboys, who will obsess over his manly manly pecs, and then frantically point out to one another how that’s totally not gay, dudes!

    Because otherwise he’d have to imprison them.

    Gar. Bage. Night. Mare.

  86. rq says

    If there are enough bears, they’ll take care of Putin, manly-manly-man pecs or not. And I’ll bathe in the tears of his fanboys.

    Anne
    I love the pony-mobile! :D Flying horses!

  87. says

    It’s extra-scary because it’s looking rather strongly like Russian military units have crossed the border into Ukraine, in order to help out the beleaguered rebels. And given that the world sort of rubber-stamped them doing it to Crimea, it’s hard to imagine Putin isn’t thinking, “Well, they won’t do anything about Ukraine either, obviously.” Besides, Putin has a veto on the UN Security Council. Isn’t that an exciting thought? :/

    And if they let him do it to Ukraine, why would he not take Belarus? And the Baltic countries, nobody’d miss them, right?

    Scary garbage nightmare. :/

  88. rq says

    Nobody ever misses the Baltic countries. :(
    Belarus is already mostly in his pocket politically, I’m not sure he’s too worried about that one.

  89. David Marjanović says

    “Around 400 million years ago, fish left the water and started to evolve into land-loving creatures. But how did the transition happen? A new and unusual experiment could shed some light on the kinds of changes that enabled fins to become limbs. Researchers took a fish species known to be able to walk on its fins from time to time, and raised it on land. Watch the fish promenade in this Nature Video.”

    Paper behind paywall.

    And this is what a bichir is.

    And his (Putin’s) international cadre of fanboys, who will obsess over his manly manly pecs, and then frantically point out to one another how that’s totally not gay, dudes!

    Because otherwise he’d have to imprison them.

    *nodnod*

    And if they let him do it to Ukraine, why would he not take Belarus?

    Because he doesn’t need to? Lukashenko is already his bestest buddy.

    And the Baltic countries, nobody’d miss them, right?

    They’re in the EU. Perhaps more importantly </sarcasm>, Estonia and Latvia have the €.

  90. rq says

    CaitieCat
    The rebels many of which were sent in by Russia?
    Article here had word that ‘it’s not the Russian army, it’s active Russian soldiers going to fight in Ukraine while off-duty in their free time’.

  91. says

    LOL, yes, and taking advantage of the Russian army’s generous “take your equipment home for the weekend” policies. “I’m just borrowing this long-range 225mm artillery battery to study, I’ll have it back on Monday morning, thanks Sarge!”

  92. says

    Perhaps we could blindfold Putin, make growling noises, and toss him in a cage full of cuddly stuffed bears. It’d be kinder to the real bears, who don’t deserve to be tormented in that way, and it might be fun to watch him react.

    rq, thank you! Letting the winged ponies fly seemed like the right thing to do. :)

  93. rq says

    David
    Lithuania is set to have the euro next year. So that counts for something, right?

    CaitieCat
    I’m pretty sure that’s how it works. :D

    +++

    Somehow, when Husband complains about having to wait an hour for his food at that fancy-pants restaurant his work is taking him to (in which we, as a couple, would probably never set foot, much less order from the expensive end of the menu), taking into account the fact that we have trouble just getting out as a couple as is… I just can’t muster up the sympathy. Anyone got a bit spare?

  94. says

    Mormon Moments of Madness, polygamy and “Lost Boys” categories: it seems that polygamous colonies on the Utah/Arizona border have been using Idaho as secretive “repentance mission” location for boys who are not “obedient,” who are “wayward.”

    This entire story is rife with red flags. Warren Jeffs, from his prison cell in Texas, is still ordering boys from polygamist colonies into semi-exile; child labor laws are being broken; child abuse reports are not being properly investigated; education for the boys is iffy; Idaho authorities are sending some of the boys right back into the cult.

    […] As discipline, Jessop struck boys with a board or broom or sent them outside into cold weather without coats, the children told investigators. One boy was confined to a furnace room for up to two days, where he was provided meals but could leave only to use the bathroom, a Bannock County sheriff’s report said.

    The boys, whose ages appear to range between 12 and 17, also described being given limited access to food and isolated from their parents as they raised money by building and selling furniture, mowing neighbors’ lawns and doing other odd jobs.

    Jessop and the boys are all former or current members of the FLDS and had been sent on “repentance missions” by church leader Warren Jeffs or his brother Lyle, according to the sheriff’s report, provided to The Tribune last week by the Bannock County Prosecuting Attorney. […]

    Idaho child advocates, meanwhile, are critical of the apparent return of at least some of the children to their families, questioning whether potential expenses played a role.

    The Health and Welfare department has been more reluctant to open child protection cases and quicker to close them due to cost concerns and layoffs, said attorney Bradley Willis, who represents children in Bannock County through the Court Appointed Special Advocates program.

    “I know the department was concerned about the cost of keeping [eight] boys in foster care,” said Willis, who did not disclose what was said in court or legal motions. He said the state also appeared concerned that FLDS parents would claim they were being discriminated against on the basis of their religion.

    “They were afraid of what happened down in Texas,” Willis said, referring to the 2008 raid of the YFZ Ranch, where Texas authorities removed more than 400 FLDS children but eventually returned them.

    “This was one of the more hands-off approaches that the department has had when the safety and well-being of children has been brought before the court,” Willis said of the Idaho FLDS cases.

    Former Bannock County Sheriff Bill Lynn, who now works with that county’s program for neglected and abused children, has written to the parties in the custody case, saying, “At least eight young boys will have been hurt by the decisions made.”

    http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/news/58317321-78/jessop-flds-pocatello-report.html.csp

  95. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    This makes me happy.

    Nnghh, why does frying tofu take so long? Teh curreh is not yet made, though all the subingredients are prepped (and the excess fried tofu freezered for later; did the whole CostCo pack since I didn’t want to waste the oil).

  96. says

    Comments from readers of the Salt Lake Tribune article about mormon boys being exiled to “repentance missions” (link in #142):

    Another example of religious discrimination against the FLDS [Fundamentalist Latter-Day Saints] …i.e.not allowing them to live and raise their children according to their religion. Glad four of the boys were (apparently) released to their mothers’ custody.
    ————
    A repentance mission is a fancy phrase for forced labor camp.
    ————
    The nerve of people trying to help kids. Let the plygs just treat them as badly as they want to and then kick them out when they want to ’cause there are way too many boys versus girls.
    ———–
    in this religion the children don’t belong to the parents, they all belong to the prophet and he can do as he sees fit.
    ————
    I hate it when I’m not allowed to practice my religion by abusing kids and raping little girls.
    ————-
    When 6th District Magistrate Judge Bryan Murray learned the journalist had also attended the hearing, Murray ordered him not to report on what was said or on the rulings in the cases. An attorney for The Tribune has asked Murray to reconsider the ban, pointing out there were no signs limiting who could enter, other people who were not parties in the case also were in the courtroom, and no one spoke when the judge asked whether there were objections to anyone present. [Yeah, Judge Murray is a mormon.]
    —————
    PLYGKID
    Well there’s a nice slice o’ my childhood right there.
    Sad part is when I was young I though that’s how everybody was being raised in America. I’m pretty sure these kids think similar.
    —————-

  97. toska says

    Fucking Russia. Israel just cooled down on their attack on Gaza, and now we have another war heating up. I hope this one will be minimally bloody. I never wish death on anyone, but I think it’s the only way Putin’s going to go. So may that fucker have all the heart attacks. God damn.

  98. rq says

    toska
    Just feed him a diet high in sugars, trans-fats and bad cholesterol. Should do the trick.

  99. says

    Poor trans-fats.

    I kinda like trans-fats. I kinda am a trans-fat.

    I don’t wanna be fed to Putin, not even if I’m high at the time.

    Or did I misread that 146 really badly?

    Also, anyone seen the Doritos? I could have sworn there was a bag right here.

  100. toska says

    rq
    More hard alcohol consumption wouldn’t hurt either. My understanding is that he abstains from drinking. He watches his health so he can terrorize the world more. Gah! All the curse words are in my head at once.

  101. rq says

    CaitieCat
    You’re the wrong kind of trans-fat. Or, I should say, exactly the right kind, but totally wrong for feeding to Putin (President Poutine?).
    Nope, haven’t seen any Doritos. Not even a crumb.

  102. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    I have never eated a Dorito. They don’t have those here.
    Better than Lay’s?

  103. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    @CaitieCat

    I kinda am a trans-fat.

    Which is why I try to live in places where eating trans fat is discouraged. I figure if less cougar-demand is good for the deer…

    Not incidentally, it’s also why I so appreciate having a designated getaway driver.

  104. rq says

    Beatrice
    Doritos aren’t potato chips, they’re corn chips, with the cheese powder that comes on those orange fuzzy thingies like Cheetohs (there’s a European equivalent, but it’s escaping me now). And they’re amazing.

  105. maddog1129 says

    Can someone kindly point me to the right thread for comments about the new FTB format?

  106. toska says

    rq and Beatrice
    Not just orange cheese powder! They have lots of awesome flavors! There are few dorito flavors I dislike. And this is actually a bit of a problem in my life.
    ::sighs at unhealthy love of doritos::

  107. says

    rq, my husband does the same sort of thing – oooh, I had to go out to lunch with a salesguy from out of state, oh, woe is me, I had to order and eat a huge greasy meal, oh, please feel sorry for me! Short answer, here’s something for your upset stomach, if you don’t take it, not my problem. Except that it usually is my problem, several hours and a lot of whining later. You have my sympathy and all the hugs you want.

    CaitieCat, you are the very best trans-fat, and much too awesome to waste on an asshat like Putin. I don’t have any Doritos, but there’s some cheddar Chex Mix, if you’d like some. Kitty’s taken to eating it for breakfast, so I keep a backup bag in the larder.

  108. Brony says

    Has anyone had the experience of dealing with the emotional effects of unemployment? It’s getting harder and harder to see myself in every job I’m thinking of applying for. Trying to pull out relevant experience and knowledge is something I have to do mechanically at this point because I feel literally repulsed by something about the process. There is some twisted combination of self-worth issues, paranoia about the selection process and if I even can look like a good candidate, and the complications of switching back to a previous career + current year+ unemployment.

    A thousand reasons why it’s all futile fill my head with every search result.

  109. cicely says

    What My Bike Has Taught Me About White Privilege
    (hat tip to Making Light

    rq:

    Apparently it’s been a problem.

    *snortle*

    And haven’t you ever wondered?

    I’ve always just assumed that they were alien parasites.
    :)
     
    (Later)

    Why is the ancient treasure and/or city never buried under my house??

    For fear that it might attract tomb robbers adventurers amateur archaeologists?
    *hiding claw hammer and pile of Large Leather Sacks*

    WMDKitty:

    Harry Potter crack-fic — The Problem With Homonyms
    This one is short and well worth your time.

    *grooooooooan!*

    Anne, Old Gumbie Cat, your Pony-mobile disguises its menace well!

    Beatrice:

    Poor bears. Putin will try to wrestle with them, and that will just be an uncomfrotable experience for everyone involved.
     
    Except maybe Putin. He’s just… Putin.

    (My bolding)
    Deliberate? A fortuitous mis-spelling? Or just my dirty mind?
    (Wikipedia entry, with NSFW illustration)
     
    Then CaitieCat:

    And his (Putin’s) international cadre of fanboys, who will obsess over his manly manly pecs, and then frantically point out to one another how that’s totally not gay, dudes!

    *snortlerolflmao*

    David, the bichir thing is awesome.

    Azkyroth:

    This makes me happy.

    And I’ve link-copied it to Facebook, where it will make many more people happy.
    :)
    Thanks!

    CaitieCat, I can’t help you with the Doritos, but I happen to have some little Almond Joys, right here….
    -

  110. rq says

    cicely
    Your interpretation of

    uncomfrotable

    makes me think that Putin is, indeed, a very unsatisfied individual, if he is so uncom, though frotable.

  111. toska says

    Brony
    My spouse had some problems with that. It was really difficult for him to even apply for jobs without major stress, and he seemed to be a bit afraid of applying for jobs that weren’t similar to his previous jobs. He was unemployed for most of this year, but thankfully, things have worked out for him. I hope you can find something soon. The media talks about unemployment so often, but the emotional effects of it are severely understated.

  112. rq says

    Azkyroth
    I, too, FB’d that happy link. :D

    Anne
    *shares some tea* Thanks for the company on the whining-about-husbands bench. ;)

  113. rq says

    And YES I should learn to post all links in one comment. Just not working for me today.
    Anyway, godmother posted this. Not sure how to respond – “Do you even know who G. K. Chesterton is and the things he has said?”

  114. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    Brony,

    Only for a couple of months, but I felt that. I had nearly no work experience at the time (only a couple of months of doing surveys/office work), and I felt like a hopeless failure who probably wouldn’t get a job even if I had qualifications because I was unable to work with people thanks to my personality (in other words, it would take the interviewer 2 minutes of conversation to realise I was way too unhinged and weird to work anywhere). Not to mention hearing how it is usually known in advance for whom are positions at some places reserved.

    So yeah, I was there, in a way. Best wishes and *hugs*. I got a job – the interviewer really liked me and decided she would employ me after only a couple of minutes of conversation, and I even got along with everyone there. That job led me to the current position where I also fit in reasonably well.
    I had no strings to get either of those jobs (just recommendation from the first employer for the second).

    What I was trying to say was… you can do it.
    Even with self-confidence issues – you can prove yourself wrong completely by accident (I was a bit desperate at the time, feeling the way you described your own feelings right now, so I talked more openly than usually, not actually trying to make the interviewer like me, since I was convinced the whole thing was a sham and they already had a candidate).

    Best of luck!

    ——

    I went out for an ice cream. It’s a bit cold outside, but I like this little town in the evening so I wanted to stroll a bit more. So I had another ice crem. Obviously. I couldn’t continue my stroll without an ice cream, right?

    (I’ve been in our little place in Slovenia these past 2 weeks, almost the whole vacation)

  115. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    cicely,

    Just a result of not having a spellchecker on my laptop (you dirty mind, you).

    … good that you noticed, gave me a good laugh. It really was a fortuitous mis-spelling (except for the bears). :)

  116. dianne says

    Excuse me parachuting in, but I just had the most frustrating call with an insurance company trying to get a test approved for a patient. The person at the insurance company acknowledged that the test was well supported but denied it anyway. How the fuck do people like that live with themselves? Who takes a job the only purpose of which is to deny care? I’d rather work at McDonalds than do that and I have worked at McDonald’s so don’t tell me that I don’t know what I’m talking about.

    Sorry, just had to get that off my chest. Can we have a revolution now? I’m not sure I want private insurers lined up and shot, but I seriously would like them removed from power.

  117. says

    dianne, perhaps we could put them on the insurance, and we could approve or disapprove the tests, just for a little while?

    Brony, all I have is *hugs* and good wishes for success.

    rq, G.K. Chesterton was a decent writer of quirky fantasy, and “Why should Salt suffer?” is a go-to quote in our household, for whatever that’s worth. Perhaps your godmother intended something other, but that’s what comes to my mind when his name is mentioned.

  118. cicely says

    *hugs* and support for Brony.

    Has anyone had the experience of dealing with the emotional effects of unemployment?

    The splash-damage effects, yes.
    Years back, in conjunction with 1) a surprise! pregnancy-and-birth (but that worked out well, ’cause Son is totally awesome), and 2) the economy in western Oklahoma jumping into the shitter. The Husband was without a job for several months; he worked in construction at that time, an excellent area to work in while the oil-field boom was on, but when the oil-field abruptly tanked…not so much. Meanwhile, I was without a job, because the grocery store had to reduce the number of employee, and I was *surprise!* pregnant. (They might not be able to get away with it, these days, but at that time/place, it was an easy decision for them to make.)
     
    But I digress.
     
    There were.
    no.
    jobs.
     
    Not even poorly-paid fast-food jobs.
     
    (Luckily for us, our land-lady was willing to cut our rent waaaaay down, on the basis that we 1) never had loud domestic arguments in our side of the duplex (she lived in the other side), 2) never threw TVs or other appliances through the window, 3) did not use the apartment as a drug distribution center, and 4) did not notoriously murder anyone with a sqeegee.) ( And then, she allowed him to do little odd-jobs around the duplex in lieu of the moneys we did not have.)
     
    But I digress.
    Again.
     
    The Husband became more and more depressed, hence lethargic, let his hygiene slide, was easy-to-anger, and wrapped in self-loathing. This all tended to send me into a depression spiral, as accompaniment in a Misery Duet.
     
    There was, indeed, no joy in Mudville Weatherford.
     
    You would need quite a substantial stack of cash to induce me to live there ever again.

    dianne

    The person at the insurance company acknowledged that the test was well supported but denied it anyway. How the fuck do people like that live with themselves?

    Power-tripping. “Cower, petty mortals; I hold your lives and deaths in the palm of my hand!!! BWAH-ha-ha!!!!!”
    *twirling Sinister Pencil-Thin Mustache*

    Who takes a job the only purpose of which is to deny care?

    Megalomaniacs.
    Assholes.
    People who find call-center work too happy and uplifting.
    Also, the truly desperate; in which case, they don’t last there for very long.
    -

  119. dianne says

    Well, that was interesting. The insurance company called back and approved because the appeal would be “too much trouble”. I’m happy it worked out and all, but can’t help but feel something creepy might have happened here and I’m not sure what.

  120. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    Who takes a job the only purpose of which is to deny care?

    Megalomaniacs.
    Assholes.
    People who find call-center work too happy and uplifting.

    And who don’t have the on-paper technical credentials to get jobs working on software that costs as much as a fucking midrange used car PER YEAR yet still can’t even both to implement a post-crash file recovery routine that works more than 10% of the time or fix that fucking bug where the program refuses to open because “desktop resources have been exceeded” when 90% of both memory and CPU are free…

  121. The Mellow Monkey: Singular They says

    On Colorism and Light Privilege

    I have a white-passing friend who has a terrible complex about his appearance. By Anglo/Caucasian beauty standards he’s gorgeous, but he doesn’t fit in with his family or community, so he feels ugly. His darker brothers clowned him from birth. Growing up, he was an oddity at his mostly black school and kids called him every kind of cracker and he carries deep discomfort into adulthood. I would never discount his experience or brush it off by saying “Oh well, you benefit from Light Privilege so nevermind your feelings!” Both things are possible. He doesn’t experience racist microaggressions like darker skinned people, but he experiences internal racial conflict in ways that they will never know. One is systemic and one is personal, and they are both real.

    Things that he has described to me, about not being welcomed into black spaces and other insults, were echoed in later tweets from the woman I mentioned earlier, after she had calmed down a bit and shared more from a personal perspective. These twisted ideas about race are so deeply embedded in our culture that we draw lines between us, not even pausing to notice the parallel between the lines drawn on plantations and at slave auctions. Whichever “side” you are on, colorism is despicable and hurtful. But personal history does not negate societal history just because someone doesn’t feel the two line up in an easily defined way.

    Aggressively rejecting your privilege is a form of privilege itself, because having the luxury to even question the existence of a proven societal ill is . . . privilege.

  122. says

    Beatrice

    I read about Russian military planes accidentaly (?) flying over Finland’s border the other day too.

    They’ve crossed the border three times within a week, that’s like the usual amount for a whole year. Hard not to see that as a deliberate threat.

  123. rq says

    Weedless Monkey
    It’s like the international military version of “I’m not touching you yet!”

  124. says

    Brony#159
    I’ve been there alright. *hugs* And the system is set up to make it worse, too. Human resources my ass. The ‘interview’ for my current job consisted of showing up on time and learning fast, ‘cos it was the previous cook’s last night and I was taking over the next day. Best interveiw I ever had.

    dianne
    Depressingly, many of them don’t even have the choice of working at McDonalds. Or the choice of approving anything either. Like with the call centers above, it’s as much as your job’s worth to step out of line or violate the arcane, inhuman policies in even the tiniest fashion. People who work in these places tend to develop a lot of mental (and physical) problems; I have an ulcer and an anxiety disorder left over from the last time I worked one, and there was a thriving trade in anti-depressants, tranquilizers, anti-anxiety meds etc around the office.

  125. says

    Or to be more exact, Russian military planes have infiltrated Finnish airspace over the sea, not exactly crossed our borders. But yeah, looks like they’re being really juvenile.

  126. essjay says

    First time commenter, long-time reader here. I’ve been reading Pharyngula and its comments since cracker desecration time. I see this place as an island of rationality and empathy. I love many of the commenters here and feel that I know them, though I’ve never met them in “real life.” There are the warriors like Inaji, Sally Strange, Crip Dyke, Portia, rq, CaitieCat, and so many others. I love the poets, like Fossilfishy and Cuttlefish. Yes, and the black, bitter humor of Brownian and Louis.
    The values of the Enlightenment? The Universal Declaration of Rights? Democratic socialism. Feminism. Environmentalism. Will these things prevail? Well, probably not. But not everything is governed by hatred and xenophobia and racism and misogyny and bigotry and ignorance. We can still spit in the face of irrationality and callousness, however vain that might be.

  127. says

    […] About half the 45 liquor stores in Utah are open Monday through Saturday from 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. Larger stores that can handle more inventory stay open 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. All stores are closed on Sundays and holidays. […]

    Yes, some people in Utah are still fighting the mormonish liquor laws. They would like for liquor stores to be open more often and for longer hours. They would also like for the stores to be allowed to stock more craft beers.

    I can’t imagine another state where similar fights would be ongoing.
    http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/entertainment2/58338924-223/stores-liquor-store-petilos.html.csp

    As one reader put it: “Here’s my wish list: better hours, open sundays and holidays, better selection, better prices, cold beer, and get rid of the stores that don’t allow you to browse the store. On second thought, I recommend getting rid of UDABC [Utah Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control] store an allow them to privatize… problem solved.”

  128. says

    Lynna @183

    Ah yes the blue laws (sure they can offer more hours as long as is doesn’t count 11pm-7am which are set times alcohol cannot be sold, even Wal-Mart and other 24 hour business must lock up their alcohol or forbid sales during this time. Given how much money this state makes on liquor it will take a snowballs chance hell for them ever to allow stores to stock better beer, given their limited space and the low income of the state, they want what sells cheapest with the highest mark up vs quality with a lower mark up. Wine coolers and the like got the nickname candy beers and to prevent children from liking alcohol they made them liquor store exclusives (which really meant that 6.99 for a 6 pack was now 12.99), but the biggest problem in this state is the alcohol level allowed in beers. Coors and Budweiser have to make special batches just for Utah and that is the reason only certain kinds of beer are sold here. It takes a big company to be able to make batches at lower alcohol content than your regular mix. You can get the better beer you just have to go to Idaho, Wyoming, Arizona, or Nevada. And as long as you never get caught for bootlegging you can enjoy the better beer or spend an arm an a leg at the liquor store, seriously do the math one tank of gas is cheaper that four 6 packs of the good stuff at the liquor store cause they don’t stock it usually in the larger size. So you go to out of state and buy a bunch of different 24 packs and you just saved a fortune from buying in state. State tax on alcohol and tobacco in Utah equal highway robbery. For how much they make on taxes it is amazing how little makes it to education. The state school board is a somewhat small place but 40% of the education budget never leaves this building, and considering there is usually only about 12 or so members that is a fuckton of skimming off the top.

    Welcome essjay

    rq

    Russia seems to be waiting until the US is tied up in other conflicts and then invades. I am afraid this is going to be another cold war in many ways. Basically their trying to bleed the US dry. So as long as we don’t get another Ronald Reagan, Bush, or right-winger bleeding us of what little money we have left, there may be a chance for the US to finally get on it’s feet. In many ways I’m hoping that this year goes by without a government shutdown but given the right-wing fear mongering I wouldn’t be surprised if they tried it again. Apparently they can fuck up as much as they want and just blame it on the democrats and it’s a win win for them. I really do fear there may be another right wing idiot as president and that their propaganda is working because nobody’s fact checking. Hell even the main news outlets seem to have a right wing agenda, most of all FOX. The news outlets don’t care about truth so much as a political agenda, it’s disgusting. In so many ways the US seems to be the land of sheep living in ignorant bliss.

  129. Morgan!? Militant Pacifist says

    Welcome essjay. I’m one of the Gastronomes, of which there are several. So before anyone beats me to it, please complete the following short quiz. Upon completion you will be assigned to you most congenial cohort.

    What is your position on:
    1) peas
    2) horses
    3) cheese
    4) (optional) Miracle Whip

  130. thunk: Prater arcade winnings says

    ugh, russia. why. why. why. why. why.

    Just… bluh. It’s hard enough to maintain a reasonable relationship with my relatives already without turning into Drunken Homophobia & Racism Fest 2014 (that was an awesome phrase, CaitieCat), and now this. It’s been a horrible day today.

  131. jste says

    A little bit rupt, but rq, if you are concerned and interested in magic alkaline properties of your fruit, may I interest you in the blood type diet?

    (I don’t think i need to mention it, not to this crowd, but the blood type diet is complete woo-woo nonsense. Did you know that Type O was the first blood type to evolve? Bladderwrack is also recommended to help control weight. Guess what the current research says about the effectiveness of that. I have some very intelligent friends. Why do they buy into this crap??)

  132. thunk: Prater arcade winnings says

    Hi, essjay! Nice to meet you.
    ——
    ah, ponies. cool. But I had to back away, if only because I got quite obsessive about FiM, and it was beginning to intrude into other areas of my life. Monomania is a bad thing. So I’m reading other fictiony things now.

  133. cicely says

    Hi, essjay; Welcome In!
    :)
     
    There’s this Questionnaire….
    *shuffling papers*
    Ah…I see that Morgan !? has ‘em….

    Inaji!!!
    *massive hug-dump with chocolate*

    WMDKitty:

    Had three fillings done today. Half my face is still numb.

    *wince*
    *scritches* for now, and *catnip* for later.
    *chocolate* optional.
    -

  134. jrfdeux, mode d'emploi says

    Brony #159
    I hear you and feel your pain. I can probably fill a ream of paper with my thoughts on how unemployment affects us emotionally, just from my own experiences. I was in that spot for a 3-4 month period about two years ago, and I can tell you I recall the feelings with distressing clarity.

    I remember applying for jobs that were within the realm of my skill and experience set and not even getting a call back. I applied for jobs that were well below what I could do, although still in my field, and didn’t hear a peep. I called recruiters and they took my information but I’d never hear from them. I stopped applying for jobs at organizations that had automated recruiting apps, because I knew that a single “wrong” answer would filter me out regardless of the rest of my resume. God did I hate those things.

    I can tell you that after a few weeks of this I started slipping into a minor but still draining depression. I’d read job postings and filter my own self out of even applying. I did that so much I would maybe get one resume out per day. Usually it was zero. In the first week I was pushing out eight or nine tailored resumes and cover letters a day, just for comparison.

    And I suspect like you, it’s not as if I’m unqualified. I have a graduate degree in my field, several relevant certifications, and a broad and deep experience base. But I kept wondering how many slightly better “mes” there were out there applying for the same jobs. After a point, from the first moment I was awake to the last moment before sleep I’d be feeling nothing but a toxic mix of despair, anxiety from financial pressures, and a horrible, suffocating sense of abject failure.

    I kept at it though. I have two little kids I have to support, so imploding wasn’t an option for me. For most of my life I’ve had little trouble finding work and getting by, but this last bout really brought home how scary it can be to be out of work in this new economic era of ours. For all I know I could’ve slipped into a terrible depression and ended up homeless. It’s always a possibility in my mind.

    After plugging away I did finally land a job that was actually right in line with my experience and skills. From the other side of the hiring desk, I can tell you that finding the right candidate can be very difficult for jobs with any semblance of technical rigour. But putting skills aside, cultural fit within the organization is all-important. That’s what the reference calls are for. You can code in C#? Great. Do you have the same values as the rest of the team? That’s the $1MM question. The old saying in HR is that you hire for ability and you fire for attitude. A poor hire is often much more expensive to the organization than putting off a hire for a while to wait for the right candidate.

    I’m not sure what else to tell you, other than you can never get a job unless you apply. And I know it can be excruciatingly difficult to push out a resume when you’re burdened with anxiety, emotional pain and a deep uncertainty about your own self-worth. I empathize, I really do. And I believe in you. You can do this, just like I did.

  135. says

    Brony:

    Has anyone had the experience of dealing with the emotional effects of unemployment? It’s getting harder and harder to see myself in every job I’m thinking of applying for. Trying to pull out relevant experience and knowledge is something I have to do mechanically at this point because I feel literally repulsed by something about the process. There is some twisted combination of self-worth issues, paranoia about the selection process and if I even can look like a good candidate, and the complications of switching back to a previous career + current year+ unemployment.

    ::Raises hand::
    I’ve been fired 3 times since 2011, and each time the emotional toll seemed greater (this last time especially). What made things even more frustrating for me was knowing that I lacked the experience or degree necessary to get some of the jobs being offered (ex. my father sent me a link to jobs.gov, which offered a bunch of nice paying local jobs–all of which required a college degree, which I don’t have; yes, I’m kicking myself in the ass for not going back to college years ago when it would have been more feasible; not that it’s an impossibility at the moment, but right now, I need to start working and making money as much as possible, so college is on the back burner again; not to mention that I don’t have any money to go to college with, seeing as how my parents exhausted all my savings bonds to help me out during my previous times of unemployment)

    ****

    I’m feeling down tonight (and have been for a couple of nights). J, the guy that I *thought* was interested in dating hasn’t responded to a text or called in 5 days (which is odd when for the two weeks prior, we’d texted *a lot* back and forth throughout the day; even when he was at work). I’m reminded of people I’ve talked to in the past who were interested for 5 minutes (not literally; figure of speech intended to convey that their interest disappeared quickly), and then I never heard from them again. I don’t know for sure that he’s one of those guys, but the longer I don’t hear from him, the more I feel that he is. It’s frustrating, bc now I wonder about what I did (did I even do anything? don’t know, but I always blame myself first). Was it bc I’m jobless? Because I have no car? Because I’m a person of color? Was I just someone he wanted to have sexyfuntimes with but didn’t want to say “hey, I’m not looking for anything serious, just someone to have sex with from time to time”? I’ve had the last happen to me often in the past. I feel like from now on, I need to get an answer to that one right out of the gate, so I know what the other person is expecting (and they, me). I can deal with someone who just wants sex (hell, it had been over a year, so I was ready for some fun), but when I’ve made it clear that I’m interested in developing more than that, and I make it explicit that I’m not going to rush into anything, to have people stop responding to me after we have sex just makes me feel like I was used. Like I said, I’m not absolutely certain that this is what has happened here, but I do feel like it is a possibility (one which grows as the days pass).

  136. jrfdeux, mode d'emploi says

    Tony!
    Ah, shit, I’m sorry to hear it man. If you’ll forgive me for having been shameful about this sort of thing in the past, I might be able to give you some insight. So, during periods when I was single, I’d usually (90%+ of the time) be on the lookout for eligible women that I could date. The thing of it was, and I had to finally admit to myself, I would go on dates with women who were just great, but I would soon find some thing about them that I didn’t like. Whether it was a behaviour, or a physical feature, speech pattern, whatever. And it was always something so fucking petty. I had to face myself in the mirror and say, “JRFDeux you fucking douche waffle, you pursue these women for an ego-stroke, and nothing more.” It really came down to wanting to know I was attractive to certain women, and then when I had that in the bag, I found I didn’t have the commitment to stay in for the long-haul.

    When I finally grew up (heh, so to speak) I realized that avoiding dating altogether when I’m not ready to pursue an actual relationship is probably the best course. You often hear about “emotionally unavailable” men — I was one of them, and I wasn’t fair to the women I dated.

    So I guess what I’m saying is that it’s possible your guy is one of these. He was thrilled by your attention and loved the idea of you, but if he’s not in the right head- or heartspace to be in a relationship, he’ll bail on the slightest excuse, probably something he made up himself to justify his behaviour. If that’s case, I’m so sorry you’re at the bad end of this. :-(

    …you know, I just realized I’ve been spilling a lot of beans lately about myself and how fucked up I am and have been as a human being. Gah. If I ever meet any of you in person, I’m only going to do it drunk as fuck.

  137. says

    jrfdeux:
    Thanks for the support and the perspective.
    Also, I know I’ve been guilty of doing the very thing I’m condemning in my comment. Thing is, I became aware of that many years ago, and since then, as the opportunity has arisen, I’ve tried my best to be communicative from the beginning (not like I’ve had many options though).

    ****

    ‘Grooting’ has entered the lexicon:

    What’s grooting, you ask? Mutant 101 defines it as (ahem) a verb meaning, “to move tree-rhythmically to the Jackson 5,” as in “his arms grooted like branches in the wind”; or to “move in a quick and lively way.” Yes, tree-rhythmically. Urban Dictionary offers up “The act of spreading ones legs and bending the knees while slowly waving the arms to resemble baby Groot.” (I prefer the Mutant 101 definition; however, I maintain “grooted” sounds slightly obscene.)

  138. says

    Tony @192 – Sorry you are dealing with that. I applaud your strength in putting yourself out there, though. That’s something I never really did. I had to be quite sure of the response before I made any type of move, and so only had about 4 girlfriends before my (now) wife and I found each other.

    Lynna @ 183 – We here in Pennsylvania are trying our best to get rid of our Liquor Control Board and the laws that Governor Pinchot put in place at the end of Prohibition. Utah does seem to sound like one place that is worse than PA, though, given your quotes in 183. Here, all wines and spirits are sold through the state, including to restaurants, which probably stifles our eateries, and makes it difficult for consumers to get anything outside of what the state thinks we should have access to.

    I know, I am quite threadrupt. And I will be more so as this weekend goes on, since I will be camping and will not have steady internet access. I just found myself wanting to support Tony and point out that Pennsylvania has some screwed up liquor laws.

  139. cicely says

    *hugs* and support for Tony!.

    jrfdeux

    …you know, I just realized I’ve been spilling a lot of beans lately about myself and how fucked up I am and have been as a human being.

    A fair few of us have been…more-than-usually chatty about our hang-ups and fuck-ups. Far more than we are in Real Life.
    We’re a lot cheaper than therapy, and you can be virtually guaranteed that no one will suggest that you “take it to the Lord in prayer”.
     
    At least, not with a straight face.
    :)
    -

  140. says

    Crap. I’m sorry. I forgot we have a new person in the Lounge. Thoughtless of me.
    Welcome essjay!

    First time commenter, long-time reader here. I’ve been reading Pharyngula and its comments since cracker desecration time.

    I’m curious, was there any particular reason you decided to de-lurk?

    ****
    cicely:
    Thank you :)

    ****

    jrfdeux:

    …you know, I just realized I’ve been spilling a lot of beans lately about myself and how fucked up I am and have been as a human being. Gah. If I ever meet any of you in person, I’m only going to do it drunk as fuck.

    There’s nothing wrong at all with you spilling your beans. We’ll listen to whatever you choose to share.

  141. jrfdeux, mode d'emploi says

    cicely
    Thanks for that observation. Although I have taken it to the Lord in prayer:

    Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!

    Hasn’t gotten me anywhere though. Yet. :-p

  142. essjay says

    Thanks, everyone, for the welcome.
    Tony, you asked why I have only now decided to de-lurk. I don’t expect that I will have much of anything to contribute. Usually everyone else says what I was thinking–with much greater speed and eloquence.
    I decided to comment just because I want you to know how much I appreciate this place. I have learned a great deal from you in the last few years, and would like to think that I am a better person because of the Horde.
    By the way, Tony, you are one of my favorite people here: always kind and always fierce in the defense of what you believe to be right.
    OK, on to the questionnaire. I could write a little essay in answer to each of the queries, but I will spare you all.
    1. Peas. I love peas, fresh peas of all kinds. They are one of my most favorite vegetables, the other being asparagus. They taste of green, of spring, of newness. I can only feel sorrow for those of you who are immune to their appeal.
    2. Horses. Esthetically, yes. As animals to ride, no.
    3. Cheese. Oh my, oh my, cheese! Almost every cheese, every flavor, texture, and color, yes. Cheeses are one of those ostensibly small things that make life worthwhile.
    4. Miracle Whip. I’m a terrible food snob, so, no, thank you. I associate Miracle Whip with Wonder bread, Velveeta cheese, Spam, and other such food horrors.
    Now that I’ve placed myself firmly on the morally and factually correct side of the deep rifts, I hope that others will see the error of their ways.
    *Ducks and runs.*

  143. says

    Novocaine wore off a couple hours ago, and now my mouth just aches.

    It’s not even the fillings — it’s the injection sites for the fucking novocaine that’re killing me!

  144. says

    Essjay:

    I don’t expect that I will have much of anything to contribute. Usually everyone else says what I was thinking–with much greater speed and eloquence.

    A *lot* of people have said this very thing, and every time I see it, I argue it. What we have here are two things: opportunity and persuasion. There are a lot of facets to any good argument, or any good discussion. What might make the light bulb click for someone is your voice or your experience. There’s never any way to know what approach, or whose voice will be the one to turn a tide. We all have our own ways of communicating, and they are all valuable. It doesn’t really how many times it’s been said before you weigh in. I’ve seen people stubbornly hold onto a wrongness through hundreds of comments, then someone will come along, and that person is the one who is listened to, who turns everything around. Besides, you’ll have noted that having things said before by others doesn’t stop the rest of us.
     
    Cicely, ♥

  145. jrfdeux, mode d'emploi says

    Oh yes, welcome to Essjay!

    I’m like you, long-time lurker, and have only been posting for a short while. I agree with your assessment of Tony!. It chaps my Saurian hide that people like him get crapped on in life, while thousands of assknobs in positions of power and privilege cruise on large helpings of luxury. But you know, Libertarian Reasons.

  146. says

    And of course Gracie’s taken ill!

    Lethargic, mild fever (yes, I felt her nose — warm & dry is not good), little/no appetite, lost noticeable weight. No vomiting or diarrhea, to my knowledge.

    So, yeah. I’ve got my tail in knots — my baby is sick, and I don’t like seeing her miserable.

  147. Brony says

    Thanks everyone. I’m, processing… better lounge posting tomorrow. Hello to new peoples.

    Tony
    I wish I had something helpful right now. I hope you get a straight answer of some kind. My thoughts are with you.

  148. essjay says

    Thank you, Inaji, at 204. I remember you saying this same thing to other new commenters, but I also remember people saying the opposite. I think that you are probably correct, but at the same time I would not like to feel that I was just piling on and me-tooing. I will take your words to heart, and if I think I can agree with what others say, but say it in a different way or from a different angle, I will do so.
    Inaji, you, like Tony, are one of my favorite members of the Horde. I have great respect for your strength and grit. (Also, I love the ratties!)
    Inaji, if you don’t mind saying, what is the origin of your nym? I remember when you changed it, but I don’t remember if you explained what it meant.

  149. chigau (違う) says

    My molar extraction was a week ago.
    No pain but I chew only on the other side and mouthwashswish alot.
    Really alot.
    There’s this weird big hole back there.

  150. says

    Essjay @ 208, my nym is the Oglala Lakota word for arise, all definitions of the word, so people can take their own pick in that regard. :)

  151. rq says

    Alloa, essjay!
    I see you have already been quizzed, so welcome in – since you’ve been lurking for a while, you know where the drinks are and who dispenses ‘em. You’ve probably got some cookies and snacks hidden away yourself, so feel free to take the comfy chair sit here on the floor (pillow?) and join in! :)

    Wait, you called me a warrior?
    Shweet.

    jste
    I’ve heard of the blood-type diet, and boy, was that diet ever wrong for my blood type!

    +++

    Going to catch up on everything else in a minute.

  152. rq says

    jrfdeux
    Well, if I ever meet you, I’d rather start out sober, but you can get drunk once Tony brings that meter of tequila. :)

    WMDKitty
    *scritches* Aww, teeth-work + sick kitty is no fun. :(
    Hope everything improves right quick!

    chigau
    Don’t lose anything down there.

    Hello, ajb47!

  153. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    Welcome, essjay! Thanks for the kind words.

    =========
    separately, since I know it’s inevitable that Og will lurk first before commenting again,

    Ogvorbis: you are loved. Now. Always.

  154. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    rq,

    I’m a bit behind in my reading of Good morning America, but your updates are still appreciated.

  155. carlie says

    Hi, essjay! So nice to meet you!

    Brony – Spouse has been unemployed for several years. From the outside watching, he did wind up very depressed for a long time over it, and some rejections hit him very deeply. I think what got him out of it was a long, slow changeover to moving his sense of worth and identity from what he did to who he was. That sounds new agey and not at all helpful, especially when you need money and need it NOW, but please keep telling yourself you are not your resume, and people who hire are not the judge of you.

    Tony – *hugs*.

    For a warming story, I give to you all a dad, a son, and pink shoes.

  156. says

    One of the little things I enjoy on GTA Online is cosplaying – using the limited resources to dress my avatar as famous characters. My favourite is here, though I need to get one of my crewmates to take a better picture. I also need to get pix of my Mad Men Joan outfit, my Clockwork Orange one, Baron Samedi, and get my crewmate to help me set up a Thelma & Louise moment, too. :)

  157. says

    I woke up really, really depressed. Don’t know exactly why, but if I didn’t have so many usefuls to slay, I’d be back in bed curled up in the fetal position right now.

    So I’m hugging everybody who wants a hug, and refilling the basket for later. I’d hug the cats, but they wouldn’t like it, and displeased cats make such a mess, what with the blood and all…

  158. rq says

    Anne
    Here‘s a squeezable, non-violent cat for you to hug.
    Plus assorted *hugs* from me, and can I make that tea for you this morning?

  159. says

    Welcome, essjay.
    ___
    Sorry, I can’t stay. But I’m thinking of you all whether you need hugs, popcorn, a stiff drink, or just some quiet support.

  160. birgerjohansson says

    Addendum to @ 226: Our conservative prime minister actually said it ‘should* be a priority to welcome refugees -especially in the context of the nightmare in Iraq and Syria- despite the short-term costs associated with recieving refugees.
    I do not vote for them, but at least they are not some bloody cannibals quoting Ayn Rand to justify greed. And the inclusive example of Swedish conservatives should be held up as an example. Ask the Republicans why they behave like swine in regard to every refugee crisis when others obviously can do better!

  161. says

    rq, awww cute and fuzzy! Thank you, yes, I’d love a cup of tea. I take mine plain, please.

    I am going to try to work on a creative thing today – I have these embroidered and beaded and spangled felt heart ornaments I made a while back, and I am thinking of working them into bead strings for my studio west window. After I run the shopping errands, though.

  162. rq says

    Some more on Ukraine. I’ll shut up about it for now.

    +++

    Going to an opening event at the new National Library (the one that looks like a glass mountain, courtesy of a friend whose husband has had very much to do with the development of libraries in Latvia. I will let you know if it )the library) is as modern and amazing as the media would have me believe.

  163. says

    Wes Aaron @184, many thanks for the additional details about Utah’s messed up liquor laws. Must be a lot of traffic to nearby states in order to buy liquor and then, illegally, transport it back across the border.

    You are also spot on about the school board. I think it might be a special luxury retirement set up for worthy mormons.

    Did you see the latest news about the Utah Transit Authority (UTA) audit? Those dudes even prepaid $10 million to a fellow mormon dude to build a parking garage that was never built.
    http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/politics/58338545-90/audit-auditors-board-compensation.html.csp

    Mormon white guys are running almost everything in Utah, and the amount of corruption is so huge that it’s hard to keep track of it.

  164. says

    ajb47 @195, thanks for the info regarding liquor laws in Pennslyvania. Didn’t really realize that state also harked back to prohibition era attitudes. Sheesh.

  165. cicely says

    Tony!:

    ::wonders if you can say “Take it to the Lord in prayer” with a gay face…then wonders what a gay face looks like::

    *snortle*
    What, do you not own a mirror, Tony!?
    That’s what a gay face looks like.
    :D
     
    Dalillama:

    George Takei looks pretty happy in this picture

    And that’s what another gay face looks like.

    jrfdeux:

    Thanks for that observation. Although I have taken it to the Lord in prayer:
    Iä! Iä! Cthulhu fhtagn!
     
    Hasn’t gotten me anywhere though. Yet. :-p

    And yet, it may in the future Get You Eaten First.

    *dropping essjay into the Horse-pond with the carnivorous peas*
    (‘Cause in Soviet Horse-pond, peas eat you!)
     
    1) Peas do have some, limited, appeal—as ammunition. In some contexts, as decor. They just aren’t food.
    2) But how do you feel about Horses, morally? What is your position on Their Elemental Evileness?
    3) Correct on the cheeses. There shall be a life-preserver thrown into the Horse-pond.
    4) And a truck-load of yummy, creamy Miracle Whip™ shall also be dumped therein.

    WMDKitty, I know what you mean about the pain of the injection sites. Ouch!
    Wishing Gracie a speedy and complete recovery. Is she drinking enough? When we recently almost lost Pixel, one problem turned out to be that she felt too weak to lean over the water dish—we caught her just standing in front of it, wobbling, looking down at the water. A few days unwilling syringement helped her immensely, together with syringes of some sort of Nutrition Inna Tube.

    Crip Dyke:

    Ogvorbis: you are loved. Now. Always.

    Indeed.
    I always worry when you “go silent” for a while.

    216

  166. says

    Moment of Mormon Madness: church leaders monitor members’ Facebook pages and other social media.

    […] local church leaders have found individual pages, for example, a good way to learn the needs of their congregants.

    “The focus of our ward council and other leadership meetings in our ward is always on the well-being of our members,” says Ross Trewhella, a Mormon bishop in England. “The Internet, especially Facebook, is a major social outlet for a lot of people, so it is natural that the things people have written are discussed in our meetings when we are discussing someone’s welfare.” […]

    http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/news/58317890-78/church-lds-members-internet.html.csp

    From official LDS instructions:

    Members are encouraged to use the Internet to flood the Earth with testimonies of the Savior and his restored gospel. They should view blogs, social networks, and other Internet technologies as tools that allow them to amplify their voice in promoting the messages of peace, hope, and joy that accompany faith in Christ.

    Some real world results:

    A man — who, like others, requested anonymity for fear of further sanctions — was released as “elder’s quorum president” after someone informed his bishop of his online posts in support of same-sex marriage.

    After posting photos from a Pride parade and a feminist event, a Utah couple were removed from leadership of a youth conference and told that they could not have any future assignments or access to LDS temples.

    A woman in Australia was not given a calling or asked to give a talk for two years after moving into a new ward. When she asked the Relief Society president if she could get assistance with her newly adopted daughters, the president replied that if she wanted help, she “should stop posting all that feminist stuff on Facebook.”

  167. says

    I’m back from the errands, and for once Kitty remembered to keep an eye on the laundry, so there isn’t much left to do.

    The feral parrots have found our stinky guava tree, finally. Emily said she’s seen the squirrel eating them too. I’m glad somebody is getting some use out of the horrible things. Of course, that means that if our real fruit trees (apricots, plums, peaches) ever manage to set any fruit again, we’ll have to invest in bird-proofing.

  168. says

    The Koch brothers are now (or will soon be) in even greater control of the Republican Party.

    […] Beacon [a software application] is intended to open up the RNC voter file to as many new apps and programs want to interface with it. But when campaigns, or worse, state parties, use i360, that is a problem for the RNC, because i360 is more than an app. It has its own voter file. And so every state party that uses i360 is sending out field staffers—paid for with RNC money, funneled through the state parties—to collect data that goes back not to the RNC, but to the Koch-brothers owned subsidiary. […]

    A secretive data and technology company linked to conservative oil billionaires Charles and David Koch has reached an agreement to share its information with the “voter file and data management company” that holds an exclusive agreement with the Republican National Committee. This will allow the Republican Party full access to voter data collected by the Koch’s Freedom Partners entities and clients—and entrenches the Kochs’ network even deeper into the GOP.

    Think Progress link.

    […] The GOP Data Trust, the company the RNC has been working with on its Beacon effort, is now going to be accessing the voter data from the Kochs’ company, but apparently all of the data will be dumped into the Kochs’ system. Which arguably means the Koch brothers essentially own the Republican party […]

    Daily Kos link.

  169. says

    In more news about the Koch brothers running seemingly everything, or at least influencing most Republican candidates, it looks like Mitch McConnell is in trouble for spending too much time in bed with the Kochs.

    The audio tape release of Mitch McConnell cozying up to the Kochs is raising some eyebrows back home in Kentucky. Particularly that part where he tells the billionaires gathered at the Koch retreat that the “the worst day of my political life” was when the campaign spending limits in McCain-Feingold passed. So the Courier-Journal decided to take a look at the financial relationship between McConnell and the Kochs.

    My research finds $40,800 in contributions from the Koch family and PAC to McConnell’s re-election campaign. But the PAC of Koch Industries has also given $25,000 this election cycle to McConnell’s own PAC, Bluegrass Committee.

    All the immediate family members of the Kochs have donated the maximum limits to McConnell, along with the PAC contributions, which the McConnell PAC can use for some travel and consultants and staff. As of yet, the Kochs and their Americans for Prosperity haven’t directed any of their millions into television ads in Kentucky.

    But the Koch/McConnell connection in the state runs deep. The state director for the Koch’s AFP is one Julie Crigler, who just happens to be married to Chase Crigler, Northern Kentucky field representative for McConnell. It’s all just one big happy family.

    Daily Kos link.

    I hope Alison Lundergan Grimes can use this information effectively to defeat McConnell. We need to get him out of the Senate.

  170. Howard Bannister says

    Re: Unemployment, how it affects you

    So, I haven’t been unemployed recently. My best friend was for a very long stretch, and it was really hurting him. I mean, he was on unemployment, so he had a minimum job search requirement, but sometimes he would feel like he didn’t deserve it.

    He eventually changed careers entirely–gave up on a promising IT career to do something a little more blue-collar where there’s a decent demand for workers right now. And he’s working, and he’s happier. And it’s tough work and he’s doing twelve-hour days right now, but being back to work has been good for him.

    Re: Insurance, denials, stuff.

    Who takes a job the only purpose of which is to deny care?

    Megalomaniacs.
    Assholes.
    People who find call-center work too happy and uplifting.
    Also, the truly desperate; in which case, they don’t last there for very long.

    dianne

    28 August 2014 at 3:34 pm

    Well, that was interesting. The insurance company called back and approved because the appeal would be “too much trouble”. I’m happy it worked out and all, but can’t help but feel something creepy might have happened here and I’m not sure what.

    Firstly, the ‘something creepy’? You’ve gotten the auto-deny. Deny everything. Deny on the flimsiest pretext. Then, if they complain, pay it.

    Why?

    Because most people don’t complain.

    Think about the money that saves them, right there.

    I used to work a job like that.

    Not that job. Social welfare. Benefits determination.

    I was pretty good at my job, and I saw it as my job to help people get on, not to keep people off. That helps.

    But then came the day when somebody applied for benefits and they were deserving in every way.

    But my state had instituted a goddamned 5-year lockout for immigrants.

    So that people wouldn’t ‘just come here for the benefits.’

    So here was this guy who had followed all the rules and was gainfully employed and just needed some help with his disabled kid… and I had to turn him down and explain that fucking xenophobic rule to him. He could pay taxes, but he couldn’t get the benefits he was entitled to, because … because we didn’t want to give him *incentive* to come here.

    I still boil with rage when I think about that rule.

    That was the day I started looking for a new job, because I couldn’t do that any more. I don’t regret it… but I know a lot of the other workers considered their job to be ‘keeping undeserving people off benefits,’ and that frustrates me more and more.

    So, yeah, what cicely said. Megalomaniacs. Assholes.

    People who think that getting half of the people entitled to something to stay off it because they don’t feel like fighting to get something they’re entitled to, for whatever reason. (I actually advised the guy I denied to escalate… because I knew that the escalation tactic often gets you things you’re NOT entitled to, if you NEED them, which is a whole other discussion… and he declined. He declined because he wanted to play by the rules and not do anything that could be held against him later, so that when his five year ban was up he could get his kid the help the kid needed… and, fuck, that makes me cry every time, because what kind of position is that to put a parent in?)

    Well, that was disjointed. I have strong feelings on the subject.

  171. says

    Another story about police being unreasonable when it comes to interacting with black men. This one is out of St. Paul, Minnesota. The man was sitting on a bench, waiting to pick up his children from school.

    The video, shot by the man’s cellphone, shows his interaction with officers as he attempts to pick up his children from New Horizon Academy in downtown St. Paul. As the officers force the man to put his hands behind his back, he drops his phone and the video goes black, but the audio continues and we hear the man crying for help and proclaiming that his kids are watching. Both officers in the video are white.

    “Why do I have to let you know who I am?” the man tells the first female officer at the beginning of the video. “I don’t have to let you know who I am if I haven’t broken any laws.”

    From the following dialogue, it appears the police were called by a store clerk, who was upset over the man sitting in front of his store. The man in the video tells the officer he was sitting in front of the store for 10 minutes as he waited for his kids to get out of school, and that the area is public and he had a right to sit there.

    “The problem was —” the female officer begins.

    “The problem is I’m black,” the man fires back. “It really is, because I’m not sitting there with a group of people. I’m sitting there by myself. By myself, not causing a problem.”

    Eventually a second male officer approaches the man in the video and attempts to restrain him.

    “I’ve got to go get my kids,” the man tells the second officer, pulling his arm away. “Please don’t touch me.”

    “You’re going to go to jail then,” the second officer says.

    “I’m not doing anything wrong,” the man replies.[…]

    Twin Cities Daily Planet link.

    Daily Kos link.

  172. says

    Screw autocorrect, “tasseled by police” should have been “tasered by police.” “Tasseled” sounds like a friendlier approach!

  173. says

    Michael Brown went to an absolutely terrible school. And that school got worse when a Republican-dominated state board of education cut funds.

    A new study out this week shows that the Normandy school district, the district where Michael Brown graduated only days before his death, is the lowest-rated school district in the state. The district’s rating declined 40 percent in a single year while under control of the Republican-led state board of education. […]

    Wealthy districts in the St. Louis area scored between 95 and 99 on the same scale that awarded Michael Brown’s school a 7. […]

    http://www.dailykos.com/story/2014/08/29/1325594/-How-bad-was-Michael-Brown-s-school

  174. Brony says

    *Sorry for the length but I like to try recognize everyone.*
    Anyone ready for another moral/ethical topic involving videogames? They come from lots of places.
    I’m playing minecraft on the Xbox360 with my wife and I’m one of the people that likes to make the game do as much for me as possible so I create things to get resources more efficiently. Villagers are resources.
    I applied my creativity to finding solutions to getting the villagers I wanted so I expanded a village to around 40 villagers and created a system where I can choose a villager, push them into a corral, flip a switch to drop them into a minecart and transport them to the place where my wife and I live so we have villagers we want living there.
    There inevitably end up being villagers that we don’t want and I want new ones to spawn so I also have another corral that drops them into a chamber where I…
    …and then I realized what I was doing. A little bit of slavery. A little bit of eugenics. I’m the type to keep doing what I am doing and ask the programmers to come up with other solutions (and if any of you play and have your own solutions I would love to hear them). but maybe I should rethink this so I was curious about what the rest of you think.

    @ toska 162
    Thank you. It’s, awful. Part of how we feel self worth is by what we do. I don’t get to do what I shaped myself to do. That is a thing that is a psychological reality and does need to be taken more seriously.
    @ rq 164
    Thank you.
    @Beatrice 167
    Thank you. It’s been a bit longer than a couple of months because of my own complications and I have a psychologist for reasons including that. I’m still looking for emotional tools (And possibly spending too much time on FTB lately to feel like I’m doing something useful, but I was also looking for a reason to do that anyway and stretching my “social brain” is important). The interview is something that tends to worry me more as well. I have identified the possible questions that worry me and have possible responses that a career counselor liked, but it’s still all hypothetical. I’ve also seen many jobs that I suspect are being posted as a requirement but are meant for someone already on the inside, but I guess that could also be the depression and anxiety.

    I’ll try to keep your example in mind. I could definitely use reasons for optimism.
    @Anne 170
    Thank you. Hugs for the depression. You never know where you might have something useful for someone else.
    @cicely 173

    The Husband became more and more depressed, hence lethargic, let his hygiene slide, was easy-to-anger, and wrapped in self-loathing. This all tended to send me into a depression spiral, as accompaniment in a Misery Duet.

    That is disturbingly familiar but less bad in my case. My wife and I don’t have children and she has a decent job. I’m at least trying to shower and shave regularly, and my wife and I are also looking for where the stress is expanding to her. I still really need an exercise routine though…
    Thanks for your perspective. It’s good to see one from the point of view of the partner of the unemployed person.
    @Dalillama 179
    Thank you. Yeah, “human resources” disturbs me too. I know that it’s just a potential problem but I do worry about being seen like the villagers in my minecraft dilemma.
    @essjay 181
    Hello and welcome!
    @jrfdeux 191
    Thank you. There is a lot in your perspective that I will think about. So far I have gotten one call for an interview, that was cancelled a day later because they felt they had a good pool of candidates. I wish that it was a standard that they at least tell you why you were not selected so I one can take that into account. I’m still working through the depression and it’s a “good day/bad day” thing and it also involves more complicated issues relating to how I see myself in relation to what I used to do. I’m at the “one a day” point still because it’s so mechanical. I had to make a spreadsheet of all my skills and experiences to better objectify myself.
    I’m still trying to develop networking skills so figuring out things like job fairs and recruiters is complicated. Having a lot of social anxiety makes that very difficult because frankly my experience as a kid with tourette’s had a bigger impact on my life than I realized. I don’t tend to form social connections by instinct. The career counselor that I have seen has a “networking for introverts” that I need to consider (spending any of my wife’s money is very emotionally complicated though).
    The “matching skills with jobs” angle is very concerning to me. I have a masters in Cell and Molecular Biology and most of the jobs I am either unqualified for, or they want a specific skill set. I’ll keep hacking at the problem though. Company culture is almost something I’m willing to ignore at this point, but I have been looking at the reviews on Glassdoor.
    @Tony192
    Thank you. Good luck on your education. If you lived in Austin I would ask my wife about letting you room with us to save money.
    @WMDKitty 206
    My best wishes for your baby.
    @chigau
    That gum hole. I could not stop messing with it with my tongue.
    @carlie217
    It does not sound “new agey”. It sound very consistent with what I know about how brains and minds work. We tend to value ourselves by many things including what we do, what we are to others, and what we are to ourselves. The “who” partially come out of getting personal validation for that. But it is a matter of balance and I am trying to find more value in myself outside of what I am to others and more in what I am to myself.
    @Howard Bannister244
    Thank you for your contribution. I don’t get unemployment because I quit being a substitute teacher for mental health reasons. Fortunately my wife’s job is good and I get insurance through her. There is a lot more in your comment to consider…

  175. dianne says

    “tasseled by police” should have been “tasered by police.” “Tasseled” sounds like a friendlier approach!

    Picturing the police going up to a group of young men hanging out and being rowdy, possibly catcalling or otherwise being obnoxious, pulling out some tassels and hanging them off the young men’s clothing, then saying “You need to be fabulous, not obnoxious, young men” then leaving. I do wish they’d go there instead of straight for the taser.

  176. says

    Republican dunderhead Ben Carson is looking like a presidential candidate crazier than Michele Bachmann, or at least as missed-the-reality train as Bachmann. Carson is a neurosurgeon, so to my mind he has no excuse for being this far out in LaLa Land.

    He’s inside this meeting hall, before a sellout crowd of nearly 400 people at the Polk County Republicans’ end-of-summer fundraiser, to discuss bullies of a different order. He wants to talk about the “secular progressives” in the news media, politics and academia who will stop at nothing to change the nation as we know it. He also wants to do this in Iowa, while raising money for local Republicans, coinciding with the start of his new PAC, which will “lay the groundwork” should he decide to run for president. [...]

    He speaks softly, almost as though he’s reading a child to sleep. But this is a scary story. If Republicans don’t win back the Senate in November, he says, he can’t be sure “there will even be an election in 2016.” Later, his wife, Candy, tells a supporter that they are holding on to their son’s Australian passport just in case the election doesn’t go their way.

    Washington Post link.

    […] Just so we’re clear, the implication here is that Carson believes President Obama, tyrant that he is, may not allow elections in 2016. It’s why Carson’s family is preparing to flee the United States, just in case.

    As for Carson arguing earlier this year that contemporary American life as “very much like Nazi Germany,” the right-wing doctor told Terris, “You can’t dance around it…. If people look at what I said and were not political about it, they’d have to agree. Most people in Germany didn’t agree with what Hitler was doing…. Exactly the same thing can happen in this country if we are not willing to stand up for what we believe in.” […]

    http://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow-show/ben-carson-stands-us-nazi-comparisons

    Ben Carson is also a Fox News contributor who equates homosexuality with pedophilia, and who thinks the Affordable Care Art is equal to slavery. Carson said that the protestors in Ferguson remind him of Hamas. Carson reminds me of Bachmann, with a little Louie Gohmert on the side.

  177. says

    This is a followup to my comments #142 and 144. One of the boys sent to Nathan Jessop (the guy who ran a mormon “repentance mission” for wayward FLDS boys) has posted a heart wrenching comment on the Salt Lake Tribune site. Gabriel Barlow tells us what it was really like.
    http://www.sltrib.com/pages/comments?cid=58317321

    I was one of the boys who were “sent away” by Lyle Jeffs [Warren Jeff's brother, a guy that carries out Warren Jeffs's orders that arrive from a prison cell], he told Nathan Jessop my step dad to take us far away so Nate gathered us up in the middle of the night without saying goodbye to our mom or siblings and he said were to “repent of our sins” then he took all our money away from us and said it was to help with the costs, None of us wanted to leave but Lyle’s word is treated like a command from God, He took us to Wyoming and told us to build furniture for the FLDS and if we didn’t we were punished to go without food, one of the boys didn’t care and didn’t help so Nate told him he had to move out to the garage with the temperature about -15 the boy didn’t and I watched Nate jump on him and start beating him (the boy was 14) and many more accounts of him beating my brothers I was almost the oldest one of us there so he never beat me but I went without many meals for not wanting to help him.

    It makes me sick to see him get away with just two misdemeanors he should be charged with kidnapping and multiple accounts of child abuse.

  178. says

    More on the boys forced to work in a “repentance mission” by fundamentalist mormons:

    One of the mothers was Nathan Jessop’s sister. She condoned having her brother mistreat her child.

    “I know of my brother’s integrity,” the woman told Murray. “He had authority to do as he did.”

    http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/news/58348209-78/jessop-murray-parents-willis.html.csp

    By “authority,” she means the currently incarcerated “Prophet” Warren Jeffs and his brother Lyle. Nathan Jessop is a piece of work all on his own. Teresa Steed was 13 when she was forced to marry Nathan Jessop. Here’s a photo of Teresa with Nathan and Warren Jeffs.
    http://www.sltrib.com/csp/cms/sites/sltrib/pages/slidegallery.csp?cid=58348209&pid=6463719

  179. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    @dianne, #250:

    Okay, this sounds totally stupid, but I’m actually crying right now.

    If only the greatest crisis law enforcement faced in the US was that in white suburbs the police tended to give out fancier tassels, disproportionately shifting glitter and silk to young, white men and boys age 15-29 who make up only 8.13% but get 14% of police-given glittered silk tassels while black men and boys age 15-29 make up 1.64% of the population but were getting only 1.1% of the police-given glittered silk tassels, I might give up law and draw really bad comic book art for the rest of my life.

  180. says

    Oh, Phyllis, you are so out of it.

    In her radio address yesterday, Phyllis Schlafly took on the issue of domestic violence and sexual assault, which she said could be eliminated if women would just get married instead of focusing so much on their careers.

    Noting that “marriage settles men down,” Schlafly asked, “So what’s the answer for women who worry about male violence? It’s not to fear all men. It’s to reject the lifestyle of frequent ‘hookups,’ which is so much promoted on college campuses today, while the women pursue a career and avoid marriage.”

    Right Wing Watch link.

  181. says

    Inheritor of the Phyllis Schlafly brainwashed syndrome, Sandy Rios, also had something to say about women’s issues:

    On her American Family Association radio program this morning, Sandy Rios interviewed Malcolm Kline of Accuracy in Academia, a sister organization of the conservative group Accuracy in Media, about the supposed terrible liberal bias in academia.

    When the two inevitably got to talking about women’s studies programs, Rios told Kline about an encounter she had had with a young woman who had been “brainwashed” by a women’s studies program to think that “even in this day in this time, that women are somehow mistreated.”

    Rios said she told the young woman that because women now make up the majority of college graduates and men are supposedly not allowed to “speak up against anything about a woman” that in fact “men are the ones being degraded.”

    Right Wing Watch link.

  182. Morgan!? Militant Pacifist says

    Shameless self-congrats… Up here on this side of the mountain there evidently are a lot of folks who need tutoring of one sort or another. I am not a teacher, officially, but I have taught many things to people over the years. I made the trek to the county library and lo and behold, they have a nifty volunteer program. Long story short, I was anticipating teaching reading to kids, but what they really need is folks who can teach computer skills to adults. Well, hey. I used to do precisely that. I thought the program director was going to cry in gratitude when I told him that. He said he has as many students as I can handle. Evidently they usually offer one-on-one tutoring, but I’m going to see if it is feasible to assemble a class. I’m excited about this.

  183. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    Morgan,

    Congrats!!

    And I’m going to immediately shamelesly ask for advice.

    folks who can teach computer skills to adults

    To go with my math degree, this is actually what I spend a lot of my time doing. Well, teaching them how to use a specific program (although, I often have to start with basic computer skills).
    Since I’m fairly new to this… Do you have any advice (regarding adults having some trouble with having to learn a complitely new skill because of job requirements, how to approach them, how to ensure a respectful atmosphere… things like that)?

    If you used some books to help you along the way, please share. I’m learning by doing, but that includes a lot of mistakes. At least some of those could probably be avoided if I had more of an idea about what the hell I am doing.

  184. Morgan!? Militant Pacifist says

    Oh Beatrice! You are going to force me to write down what I learned how to do on the fly. Okay, that is a good thing. I have some definite ideas about how to teach adults. I’m going to compose this thing and post it later, maybe tomorrow. It will be good to be able to discuss it. Ta ta for now.

  185. Morgan!? Militant Pacifist says

    Beatrice, an addendum: When I start a new student or class the first three things I say after introductions are these:
    1) You Can’t Break It
    2) I don’t bite, or even growl
    3) You know a lot more than you think you do.

  186. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    Morgan,

    Hey, no pressure ( no, really). If you’ll feel like putting it down in writing, I’ll be grateful!

    I wanted to pose a question about this already, but wasn’t sure who to ask since I only knew that Giliell was familiar with teaching adults.

  187. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    Heh, I guess I’m on the right track then, since my A) is:

    a) Don’t worry about making mistakes, everything can be solved

  188. Morgan!? Militant Pacifist says

    I really am excited about this. It has been several years since I’ve taught this stuff but I really do enjoy teaching. One thing I’m concerned about… I don’t know yet if the library has PCs or Macs, and if they have PCs are they using Windows 8. I’ve not yet tackled it and I don’t know how appropriate it would be to assume that as the standard operating system. My hunch is not. Does anyone out there have an opinion on this? If the students do not have access to a touch screen machine it might not be useful. I need to assess what the students need… knowledge for business, knowledge for pleasure, or both.

  189. toska says

    Morgan
    I work in tech support for a university. I can’t speak for every place, obviously, but we have still mainly been using windows 7 as a default for windows machines, so windows 8 may or may not be an issue for you. A public institution like a library may even have more outdated operating systems because of budget concerns. On our computers that do have windows 8, most have a “shell” installed so that it looks like windows 7 (which is much easier for users).

    Beyond that, I may be able to answer some windows 8 questions (Though I have limited experience with 8). If they have windows 8.1, you can right-click in the lower left hand corner (where the start menu used to be), and that gives you access to most things you would need, such as file explorer, control panel, devices and printers, etc.

  190. says

    Gracie is back from the vet.

    Nothing obviously “wrong”.

    We’ll know more tomorrow when the bloodwork comes back.

    On the brighter side, her fever seems a bit lower today.

  191. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    Since I’m fairly new to this… Do you have any advice (regarding adults having some trouble with having to learn a complitely new skill because of job requirements, how to approach them, how to ensure a respectful atmosphere… things like that)?/blockquote>

    I know you were asking Morgan, but my observation is that a lot of people who “aren’t good with” computers seem to assume they’re some sort of eldritch abomination to which normal logic simply cannot be applied. I’m not sure what a respectful way to point out that “they have idiosyncrasies and jargon, not an actual immunity to common sense and systematic reasoning” is, though… x.x

  192. Morgan!? Militant Pacifist says

    Thank you so much, Toska. I’m guessing that I won’t have to worry much about Windows 8, yet. I have to buckle down and learn the beast. I am distinctly unfond of Microsoft.

    Azkyroth, good observation. One of the things I do first off is try to defang the jargon and translate it into common language. That is terrifically empowering for people. Another silly but effective thing I do is ask everyone to bring an old slipper to class. You know that feeling when throwing the whole bloody machine out the window is so tempting, well, I have my students pound the hell out of the table with the slipper. And curse to their heart’s content. Everyone ends up laughing and amazingly a lot of learning seems to get done once they get past the anger that comes from confusion.

  193. says

    WMDKitty, I hope your furry little one is already on the mend. It’s so frustrating because pets can’t tell you if they’re sick, let alone what’s wrong. Hugs for you and gentle ear-rubs for Gracie, if you and she want them.

  194. says

    Morgan @257:
    Congratulations on the new volunteer work. I’m sure there are many, many people out there who could benefit from learning computer skills (I’m one of them).

    ****

    I recall someone talking about never having Doritos upthread (I’m feeling too lazy to scroll back up). I just tried the Jacked (ranch dipped hot wings) flavor of Doritos.
    Not.
    A.
    Fan.

  195. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    Tony,

    No Doritos in my end of the woods


    I should really go to bed, but there’s this series I liked, but only caught 2 episodes on TV… and now I found it on YouTube.

  196. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Off the Doritos topic, but yesterday I again helped the nurse, by positioning the Redhead, change the dressing on her wound. I saw significant improvement from when I “assisted”, doing the same holding, in changing the dressing the second day after her initial surgery. *sigh, now to pay some doctor’s bills. Curses the US medical system*

  197. toska says

    Morgan

    I’m guessing that I won’t have to worry much about Windows 8, yet. I have to buckle down and learn the beast. I am distinctly unfond of Microsoft.

    Hopefully you won’t have to deal with it much at all! Win 9 is supposed to come out in not too long, so our uni is planning to jump right over 8. It seems like every other windows OS is a flop, but I guess that’s just how it goes :P

  198. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Just checked my BP after the last six weeks with the Redhead’s wound getting worse and the hospitalization and nursing home changes in my schedule. 123/78, pulse 70. Thank you Dr. ****** and big pharma….

    Had to cancel a refill of the Redhead’s BP medicine.

    The last time I was on this sleep/eat schedule I lost about fifty pounds. The Pullet Patrol™ is already taking bets on my final weight….

  199. says

    Crip Dyke:
    I noticed your hidden text in a comment in the Beyonce thread. It had the little “……..” under the word to indicate hidden text. I guess this was one of the changes they made to FtB.

  200. chigau (違う) says

    Morgan‽
    Best of luck in your new gig.
    Tell your students tales of horror from the days of
    SYNTAX ERROR
    SYNTAX ERROR
    SYNTAX ERROR

  201. chigau (違う) says

    Hidden text via [abbr title] and [acronym title] are not viewable on many mobile devices.
    One of them doesn’t even have the ….. underline.
    Which is why I stopped using them.

  202. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    @Tony!, #277:

    Actually no.

    I realized that <abbr title=””> will create the underline even on many platforms where <acronym title=””> won’t.

    So I switched to using abbr.

  203. rq says

    Drunk.
    Good time at the library. Drunkenness arriving from Friend-with VIP connection taking me to library living nearby and stopping in for a few drinks with her husband (who is VIP connection). Y’all have no idea how longit took me to type that out with no tpoys.
    Will post old book porn tomorrw, it was… porn-ful. Old book pornful. Like, really old book pornful. And I suppose architecture-pornful, besdies being stuck on floor 11 whem fireworks happened right underneath our feet, pretty much literally but right outside the window on teh 11th floor and sparks flying up to us. Oh. but the book porn. 16th century book porn. *sigh* Bed for me.

  204. JAL: Snark, Sarcasm & Bitterness says

    From the Hug My Kids thread:

    Notice how after his mother tells him he cannot live with them anymore, he calmly says that he will be gone by next Thursday. Then his mother says, “That’s your choice.” Typical, manipulative, psychological abuse. I’m so glad that he had the awareness to call her on that and throw it back at her that it is her choice to kick him out. Not his.

    click

  205. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    Okay, JAL, I get the Ms magazine reference, but you can’t be using “click” in exactly the same way here – I seriously doubt you mean to imply, “Oh, shit! Heterosexism exists! This is what it looks like!” the way that Ms magazine used “click” to refer to feminist awakening.

    if you’re willing, for my benefit could you say a little more about what your “click” was supposed to communicate? I feel I’m missing something important.

  206. The Mellow Monkey: Singular They says

    So…my depression has hit me really, really hard, with suicidal ideation that’s scaring me. It’s going to be an hour or so until my partner’s free from work and my other friends and family are massively shitty choices to talk to about this kind of stuff. (One of my friends once yelled at me and called me an asshole when I tried to talk to her about this. Which, uh, didn’t help.)

    This sounds so whiny and look-at-me, but if anybody’s hanging about the Lounge could I get a virtual hug to get me through the next hour or so? This is really painful right now.

  207. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    This sounds so whiny and look-at-me, but if anybody’s hanging about the Lounge could I get a virtual hug to get me through the next hour or so? This is really painful right now.

    *voice of Frasier Crane, “we’re listening”.*

  208. JAL: Snark, Sarcasm & Bitterness says

    Oh, sorry. I was using it the same kind of way like a light bulb moment (I actually have no idea about Ms magazine), but for realizing my mother is abusive. It feels like I just talked about it yesterday but it’s probably a couple of threads ago now, where she pulled the same tactic on me.

    I had no problem recognizing the signs and how the other abusers in my life operate, but I was hung up on saying my mom was like that. Watching that video, all sorts of memories popped up but until I read that comment, I hadn’t pictured my mother among them. Then they just started cascading.

    It also made me realize how hard I’ve slipped back into it already. It’s so hard to say no and stay firm with her when my whole life I’ve been groomed otherwise and she’s not violating my body. Just my traitorous mind.

    I mean, I understood that then when I talked about it. But it apparently didn’t stick. It’s just so exhausting, so I stopped fighting without even realizing it.

  209. The Mellow Monkey: Singular They says

    Thanks. ♥

    Once Partner Monkey is here, I think I’ll feel a little better. Safer and pulled out of the shit in my head at any rate. I’m just having a hard time breaking the bad thought loops tonight. Everything feels hopeless, I feel worthless, it seems like there’s only one way to make the pain stop, etc. It’s so much easier to fight off the lying thoughts with other people around.

  210. chigau (違う) says

    The Mellow Monkey
    I just had a bunny cross my patio.
    It was cute and fuzzy.
    I’d post a pic if I knew how but I offer the image.
    and *hugs*
    please keep talking to us

  211. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    It’s so much easier to fight off the lying thoughts with other people around.

    Don’t forget we’re listening.

  212. says

    Mellow Monkey:

    Everything feels hopeless, I feel worthless, it seems like there’s only one way to make the pain stop, etc.

    I’ve been feeling the same way off and on this week (to the extent that I haven’t blogged about anything since Sunday). I hate that’s it so hard to shake these feelings of worthlessness. Glad to know you’ll have some company soon to help you fight off the lying thoughts in your head.

    ****

    chigau:
    You could always upload a pic from your phone to IMGUR and then link to that page.

  213. thunk: Prater arcade winnings says

    Morgan:

    Congratulations! You’ll do awesome.

    JAL:

    Aww… *hugs*. It can be very hard to recognize the patterns of abuse in those around you, and I’m very sorry that everyone around you seems to like dealing shit sandwiches so much, but we’re here. We’re listening.

    Tony!, TMM:

    *Hugs* for you too. Depression is tough. Hang in there. I–and others–are here for you.

  214. The Mellow Monkey: Singular They says

    chigau, I shall imagine the bunny with all my might to make up for the lack of a pic.

    Nerd, I know and that helps so much more than words can say. Thank you all.

    Tony!, it is. So. Hard. But you’re not worthless and neither am I. We can’t let those lying thoughts win, right?

    My partner’s just arrived earlier than expected, so I’m going to spend some time with him and hopefully get my brain out of these loops. Thank you again for being here. The prospect of being alone in my head with these thoughts was just so damn scary tonight.

  215. toska says

    JAL
    I remember your comment from a few days ago. I wish I could do more than offer my empathy and solidarity.
    I’m sorry for your struggles. You deserve better.

  216. chigau (違う) says

    Tony!
    I don’t have a phone.
    and I’m already sitting with my back to the wall
    I’m not going to sign-in to anything else

  217. says

    TMM, I’m glad you have good company now.

    Tony!, JAL, hugs, just because.

    I’m going to rearrange the stuff around my comfy chair so I can work on bead strings while I watch TV. If that doesn’t work, I’ll have to wait until tomorrow morning so I can listen to Car Talk in my studio while I’m stringing things. I’m tired and feeling inert, so maybe I’ll just wait.

    My weekend Car Talk fix , by the way, is one of the few things I insist upon. If I don’t get my fix, I tell my family, I’m liable to lose my temper and start smiting people. Yes, I am weird, even for this family. ;)

  218. jrfdeux, mode d'emploi says

    rq #281

    Oh. but the book porn. 16th century book porn.

    ZOMG. I drool just at the mention. I have a very small collection of old books that I treasure, and that I would love so much to expand. BOOK PORN. My fetish would be MILFs. Manuscripts I’d Like to Fondle.

    I look forward to your book porn post. Please oh please make it dirty.

  219. Morgan!? Militant Pacifist says

    The Mellow Monkey,
    I’m a bit late, but I’m glad you came here while fighting off the brain nasties. Here is a pile of hugs.

  220. says

    I’m out at gaming, listening to So. Much. Woo. Detox and toxins and juice cleanses and DNA-enhancing berries and spiritual-but-not-religious and OMG you’re really a MORMON?!?! And Weight Watchers’ ambassadors and nutrient-blasting of cells and ‘tainted by GMO’. Ay-ay-ay.

    Made the honey-garlic wings tonight, well-received and tasty. Discovered too late that my only garlic was dried out beyond pressing, so I had to use minced from a jar. I didn’t know how potent it was compared to fresh-pressed, and ended up under-garlicking, which was disappointing.

    But yay me! Someone just started talking to me about dieting, and I politely said, “I’m not interested in talking about weight loss, I’m quite comfortable with my size and shape, so can we talk about something else perhaps?”

    I had been about to go to a different room, to get away from all the diet talk, but one of them left, so now it’s only the Juicevangelista preaching the wonders of opaque drinking vessels, because honestly I don’t really know why and really don’t want to.

    Now I think I might, because the WOO OMUU THE FRAKKING WOO!

  221. essjay says

    To Mellow Monkey and Tony! I hear what you are saying about that feeling of worthlessness and the endless mind loops. I have suffered from depression myself and know only too well where you are coming from. I offer you both love, an ear, and hugs, if they are acceptable from a newcomer.

    I hate that feeling of having two minds at war with each other: one voice saying how worthless and ugly and contemptible you are, a voice that is irrational but overwhelming. The other voice one of rationality saying what you know to be true–that you are a person of value and accomplishment. But the rational voice is powerless against the weight of the black dog. Clinging to the one notion that it cannot go on forever and will end is about all I could ever do. I am thinking of you both and want to hear your thoughts and feelings.

    One of the reasons I love Pharyngula is that people here are always ready to offer non-judgmental sympathy. Nothing is dismissing as whinging. I have seen the same level of understanding and sympathy for all types and degrees of pain and distress. No “Dear Muslima” here.

    I do not know Mellow Monkey, but I do know Tony! And if ever there was a person of great value and generosity, it is you, Tony!

  222. says

    And then catching up, Mellow Monkey, I’m sorta here. If it would help, I have about 250 minutes of North America-wide calling time before the 6th. And I listen pretty good (sic), and I have lots of experience with mood disorders and depression and stuff.

    If you want to take me up on contact, MM, meld CAVE & BABE & 21 seamlessly and without ampersands, with the at-squiggle and the Google-octopus’ mail service. Minuscules can be capital, and vice versa.

    No offence taken if you don’t, just wanted to offer if it would help at all.

    Either way, I’m here too, and you’re ever so slightly less alone. Hugs offered.

  223. says

    (anti-fat slurs mentioned below)

    Not as far as I know, jrfdeux. Just juice and toxins and three-day cleansing fasts with mysterious and unexpected lightness of head (while having 200 or fewer kcal/day, BIG mystery, me?). And a young woman with six ‘thin and so hot-looking’ siblings, who doesn’t want to be the family’ ‘big fat disgusting pig’ anymore.

    Breaks my heart.

  224. says

    CaitieCat:
    Ooooh, I forgot to mention that your honey-garlic wings sound delightful. I’ve had honey BBQ wings and garlic wings, but not honey garlic wings. Even though I’m almost done with dinner, my mouth is almost watering at the thought of such NOM NOM goodness.

  225. says

    Opaque drinking vessels? Perhaps so you can’t see the color of whatever concoction you’re drinking?

    I just got an email from my friend the wonderful batik artist. She got talked into applying for my city craft fair, got accepted and she’ll be in town in November. I haven’t been to the Nutcracker Festival in years because it really wasn’t very good. But if Leslie’s going to be there? Holiday shopping time! Squeee!

  226. says

    Tony, I *think* it was so you couldn’t see how disgusting the ‘juice’ was. But honestly, it was a sonic wall of bafflegab, and I had a hard time tracking through the inanity and confusion.

    Got to Legal Aid today, next round of appeal is underway. October 9 for the lawyer’s appt to take the next step, after fetching my file from the ministry to see their comments.

    Found out about a really cool game; if someone wants to pass this information to one of the gamer threads, that’d be great. I’m low on spoons after getting home. A folding chair collapsed under me tonight, at the beginning of the night, and my back is so tense I can hardly move. :(

    Anyway, it’s a family-oriented science-based game, called Grow, where the players each build trees, with ingenious interlocking 3D pieces. They’re doing a Kickstarter (linked above), and it’d be really cool to see them get funded and produce it, because we don’t get enough science-based, kid-friendly, and fun games.

    Also played a new (and not yet released – it’s scheduled for November) version of a Russian game called Evolution, which is just what it says on the tin: each player has a couple of creatures that they’re trying to have survive and thrive, which adapt by somewhat randomly evolving new characteristics which are either more or less effective at helping it do so. I’m hoping to do a review for the new blog about that one. New blog should be up and posting within a couple of days. :)

    Time to lie down. I love y’all, y’know that?

    essjay, sorry I hadn’t said hi yet, but HI! I’m Cait. Nice to have you with us. :)

    Nightnight, Loungerie!

  227. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    Opaque drinking vessels? Perhaps so you can’t see the color of whatever concoction you’re drinking?

    Some organic molecules can be caused to chemically react or decompose by the energy imparted by absorbed photons, especially in the ultraviolet range. This is why beer bottles are usually brown and why people normally store their beer in a cabinet or something; significant exposure to sunlight causes chemical changes in some of the trace organic molecules that give it its flavor, resulting in an off flavor often described as “skunky.” I’m skeptical that this effect would appreciably affect the nutritional qualities of a beverage, though, under anything like normal usage – let alone that an honest cost-benefit calculation for special opaque containers would come out favorable from the consumer’s perspective.

    You get a lot of this kind of reasoning with pseudoscience – it’s the equivalent of saying “well, England is to the north and the east of me, so if I point my car exactly northeast with a compass and drive in a straight line I should arrive in England!

  228. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    Mellow Monkey, *hugs*

    I forgot the first rule of internet: never ever google illness symptoms.
    Something swelled in my neck this morning ( or at least I noticed it this morning) , I can feel the lump and it hurts a bit.
    No other symptoms, except that I feel like vomiting now that I’ve seen photos of throat cancer.

  229. says

    Crip Dyke:
    I came across this new book from IMAGE, called Wayward:

    Now, before we get to the story, we should talk about the elephant in the room. The marketing of this book has been none too subtle in calling Wayard a Buffy The Vampire Slayer for a new generation. For a lot of geeks of a certain age, this can be a bold claim. But is it just hype?

    There are similarities between Buffy and Wayward: a young woman in a new city, she has a strange fate that she doesn’t quite understand, she is obviously gifted with unusual abilities and the supernatural bursts into her world. Just looking at it this way, Wayward could seem like a knock off, but I think it is in the story where Wayward becomes something different.

    Zub’s deft characterizations and subtle storytelling (keeping in mind that this is the same person who brought us Skullkickers) work in concert with Cummings’ art to create an interesting and engaging lead in Rori Lane. The things that set Rori apart from Buffy are mostly cultural. Rori is rooted in Japanese culture, giving her a tie to a greater story and making her a part of a larger myth cycle. I am not saying that the character of Buffy wasn’t mythic, but her qualities came more from the culture that was created around her rather than the culture that she was a part of already.

    Regardless, in Rori Lane Wayward has a strong female lead that has her own identity. Despite being part of a greater Japanese supernatural world, she is also apart from that because of her own cultural heritage of being half Irish and half Japanese. This dual nature extends, as she discovers the supernatural world around her, making her a part of two worlds in that regard as well.

    This review sold me on the book. No idea when I’ll be able to get my hands on it, but I want. Oh, and there’s some nice art on display at the link.

  230. says

    TMM, Tony!
    *hugs* and sympathies. I’ve been in a similar boat on and off this week.

    Beatrice
    Sounds like a minor throat infection leading to a swollen lymph node. *hugs* and sympathies.

  231. rq says

    5486 seems kind of random.

    Tried to upload the book porn, but something or other won’t let me do it from imgur, so I have to figure out an alternate way.

    *hugs* to The Mellow Monkey and *warm tea with lemon* for Beatrice

    CaitieCat
    re: opaque drinking vessels
    Innnnteresting. I wonder how that relates to the theory that people eat less if they eat from smaller plates or bowls and will eat more from vessels where they can’t see how much they’ve eaten (or have a hard time judging this visually)? (Saw a TV program a ways ago about experiments on this.)
    Also, you know what else comes in opaque drinking vessels? Wine.

  232. rq says

    OMG I jsut read 7 Pieces of Advice to Get a Woman Into Bed (satire). (A former premier was recently discovered to have hit on underage girls, which is why he gets mentioned therein.) The pictures can be seen here, but here are the words of advice:
    1) Women love men on the edge. As the premier showed, by causing suspense in his object of attraction – will he catch the egg in his mouth or not? We recommend dancing a passionate Georgian dagger dance on a table. If you don’t have a dagger, any other similar object will suffice, the main thing – do not hesitate!
    2) If the door to any room has a crossbar installed, run to it and do a few chin-ups, to let the object of your attraction know that you are no weakling!
    3) Similarly, you can leave an impression by taking her out to the field and showing her how to ride a motorcycle with no hands. It helps to pop a wheelie every now and then, too.
    4) Another method is to stick a finger behind your cheek and to pull it out, making a popping noise that other men can’t. Or, put your hand under your armpit and then, rapidly moving your forearm back and forth, make farting noises that other men can’t.
    5) Impressive friends are a fashionable thing, too. Include the names of famous people in your conversations, and refer to them by nicknames to make them seem your buddies. Example: “Oh, you have a lovely kitchen! Me ‘n Sly had a similar one once.”
    6) Create the impression that you are an important person. Don’t forget to set alarms in your phone for every 5 minutes, each time turning it off and starting an imaginary business conversation, which must always be ended with “I will think about it”, “I don’t have time for that” or “You’re fired”.
    7) In case the girl has not yet been informed of your future together, try yelling at her on the street in a rough voice alpha-male-suitable words and compliments, like “[colloquialism meaning easy sexual conquest, not finding a good translation], haha!” or “Yer haaawwwt!”, and so forth. It is an often-used method, but if everyone is using it, then it must work for everyone.

    (I liked the inclusion of street harassment in this ridiculous list of women-attractors. Something about that sits right.)

  233. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    rq,

    That’s a library? Do you have a spare couch?

  234. rq says

    Beatrice
    That is the new national library. I recommend. I have a spare couch (when are you coming?), but the library has several on each floor. The only thing it is missing is a fancy-pants traditional-type reading room (not that they’re lacking in reading rooms), but really, who’s complaining here?
    And while the old books exhibit will be leaving in November, they have their own collection of rarities and a giant antique globe… All on permanent display.
    Yeah. Last night was one of the awesomest Fridays I’ve had in a while.

  235. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    I’m green with envy. There’s a great library here in my little corner of Slovenia (amazing library for a smallish town), but a rather shameful place in Zagreb. THere are many small libraries as part of The City Library in Zagreb, which is great because it makes books accessible to people who may not be able to make it half-way accross town, but it’s missing some nice impressive Castle of Books rather than the cramped, leaking Central Library.

  236. knowknot says

    Tony, Mellow Monkey –
    – Damn. I understand these things far too well. Like waiting until some point in the afternoon when it might probably be OK to remain alive. Maybe.
    – But this: Y’all have done me some good. And that’s remote. So I’m betting you’ve done a considerably more closer in.
    – So, if doing good, if clearing the fog, if spinning the spotlight you’ve put on yourselves to make light for others, if fighting the darkness, if having any positive effect *at all* means something to you, well… there you are. There’s something.
    – Bless you.

  237. rq says

    Note to self: not every low-flying plane is the Russian invasion. (Just had a freak-out moment at work. All is well. :P [/feeling jumpy])

  238. Howard Bannister says

    I recently upgraded to Windows 8, for reasons, and I have to say, it’s not as terrible as I had assumed.

    The entire user interface appears to have been built primarly for touch-screens, which is slightly annoying.

    But, then, I’ve been doing version-surfing for some time now, using Ubuntu at home and Windows at work, so I’m used to figuring out the slightly different ways different OS’s do things. That used to drive me mad, but now it’s just a little time spent.

  239. says

    Tea, anyone? Hugs?

    Rest of family is still asleep, except for cats who are agitating to go OUT NOW. Which they can’t, because it’s not light enough yet. On the one hand, I hate that my brain won’t let me sleep in. On the other hand, I’m kind of enjoying the quiet.

  240. rq says

    Anne
    I’ll take a bit of both?
    Just did some bookstore shopping. No, not for me… For Eldest. Who starts school (first day ever!) on Monday.
    Suddenly I feel very sad and very scared. :(

  241. rq says

    Is it just me or are there a lot of new people (i.e. first-time commenters, long-time lurkers) popping up lately? In various threads?

  242. Esteleth is Groot says

    Morning!

    *sips tea*

    I am dejected.

    Morgan (my kitty, not the horde-member) was diagnosed about a month ago with a multi-drug resistant middle-ear infection. The vet said that the cultures revealed that the bug was weakly sensitive to some things, and thus prescribed all of them to be given in combination for 3 weeks.

    I followed these instructions. The 3 weeks have elapsed, and this morning I noticed her outer ear turning black again. And she’s rubbing and kicking that side of her head in a definite “GET IT OUT” motion.

    Dammit.

  243. rq says

    This is my Michael Brown Latvian haiku:

    viņš bija bīstams
    tāpēc vien ka bija melns
    un neapbruņots

    he was dangerous
    merely because he was black
    and unarmed

  244. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Is it just me or are there a lot of new people (i.e. first-time commenters, long-time lurkers) popping up lately? In various threads?

    I noticed that too.

  245. says

    Oh, look! More desecration of wafers, or potential for desecration, with Catholics wailing and suing.

    What an unusual case: “The Archbishop of Oklahoma City is dropping his lawsuit against a devil-worshiping group that had threatened to defile a consecrated communion wafer allegedly stolen from the Roman Catholic Church. In a lawsuit filed in district court in Oklahoma County on Wednesday, lawyers representing Archbishop Paul Coakley demanded the return of a communion wafer obtained by a Satanic group.”

    Wall Street Journal Law Blog link.

  246. says

    Mellow Monkey, sorry you are feeling bad, well, horrible actually. You recognized suicidal ideation in your thought processes. That’s a good first step.

    I don’t know what to say, except that I care.

  247. rq says

    Esteleth
    I’m sorry, were you needing some? (We only have three different kinds… the v, the comma, and the line. :) )
    Also, sorry about the kitty. :( Hope there’s another course of action the vet can recommend!

  248. Esteleth is Groot says

    Last time I was at the vet, the vet explained that the first-line effort would be the antibiotics.

    The last-ditch effort would be a total ablation of the middle ear, which would leave her deaf in that ear.

    There was some stuff in the middle, but I cannot remember what it was.

  249. says

    *hugs rq, then passes her a nice cup of tea* is your Eldest excited, or scared, or both? Best wishes for a successful and happy first day!

    Esteleth, sorry your cat is feeling sick again. Hugs?

  250. says

    The state of Pennsylvania has released redacted details of 243 cases of water contamination caused by fracking and related activities by the natural gas industry. Claims made by the fracking industry that they have not contaminated water are utter rubbish. These 243 cases which took place in Pennsylvania between 2008 and 2014 involve a wide range of contamination problems including the contamination of multiple water supply wells by one fracking operation. State officials did not indicate how many more cases of contamination may have occurred since 2008 that are not included in this list.

    Pennsylvania had to be forced to release the information, but their inspector general has admitted problems with fracking for some time.

    More info at the link, showing how the fracking industry lied to North Carolina Republicans, and the Republicans swallowed the lies and then regurgitated them.
    Daily Kos link.

  251. says

    This is a followup to my comments #240 and 241, in which the Koch brothers’s control of the Republican Party was discussed from a different angle.

    This post documents how the Koch brothers influence state politics by controlling judicial appointments. A Koch associate with only one year of experience was appointed to the bench of the highest court in Kansa. The other nominees had more than twenty years of experience, and at least one was a woman.

    Kansas appeals court Judge Caleb Stegall, a staunch abortion opponent critical of a landmark school-funding case, was named to the state’s high court on Friday by Gov. Sam Brownback. […]

    Just what they need in Kansas, another abortion opponent. Stegall is a political ally of the far right, and a Koch “general counsel”:

    He also said in that online chat that he worked as general counsel for Americans for Prosperity, a conservative think tank founded and partly funded by billionaires David and Charles Koch.

    This guy, Stegall, advocated violent resistance to keep Terri Schiavo “alive.” He also assumed that fundie missionaries who tried to kidnap Haitian children after the big earthquake were innocent. Not signs of good judgement in a judge.

    It’s obvious that the Koch brothers don’t like democracy.

    Daily Kos link.

  252. says

    Koch brothers news as related by a local Kansas newspaper:
    http://www.kansascity.com/news/government-politics/article1324327.html

    Excerpt:

    “Instead of choosing a judge with more than 20 years on the bench, he chose his political ally with less than nine months of judicial experience to fill a vacancy on Kansas’ highest court,” Davis said in a statement.

    Stegall is a 1993 graduate of Geneva College, a Christian liberal arts school in Beaver Falls, Pa. He graduated from the University of Kansas Law School in 1999, ranking third in a class of 187.

  253. says

    You knew this was going to happen, right?

    A border patrol agent fired several shots at an armed militia member while chasing a group of immigrants Friday near Brownsville, Texas.

    Border Patrol Spokesman Omar Zamora told the Associated Press that agents were pursuing a group of immigrants when one agent spotted a man holding a gun near the Rio Grande.

    The agent fired four shots but did not hit the man, Zamora said. The man then dropped his weapon and identified himself as a militia member.

    The unidentified man was not arrested and appeared to have permission to be on private property where the incident occurred, Cameron County Sheriff Omar Lucio told the AP. Lucio, whose agency is involved in investigating the incident, said the man was wearing camouflage and was carrying either a rifle or shotgun.

    The sheriff said militias really aren’t needed at the Texas-Mexico border given the number of law enforcement agencies already working to secure the area.

    “It just creates a problem from my point of view, because we don’t know who they are,” Lucio told the AP.

    U.S. Customs and Border Protection has said it does not “endorse or support any private group or organization from taking matters into their own hands as it could have disastrous personal and public safety consequences.”

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/border-patrol-agent-fires-at-armed-militia-member

  254. says

    Looks like conservative activists in Hawaii, including lots of mormons, punished former governor, Neil Abercrombie, for his support for gay marriage.

    Hawaii Gov. Neil Abercrombie (D) blamed his historic primary loss on his decision to call a special session to pass a bill legalizing gay marriage, the Associated Press reported Saturday.

    Speaking to reporters in his office, Abercrombie said Republicans, who are allowed to vote in the state’s open primary, crossed over to vote against him because of his maneuver to legalize gay marriage. He also claimed that religious leaders urged voters to choose his opponent.

    “Republicans crossed over en masse to vote in the Democratic primary, and then the religious factor came in,” he said, as quoted by the AP. “Doctrinally I was outside the circle and paid for it.”

    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/hawaii-guv-abercrombie-blames-primary-loss-on-gay-marriage

    Background: http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2013/10/mormon-church-gay-marriage-hawaiii

  255. says

    After claiming that the police shooting of Michael Brown in Ferguson had no racial component, Ilana Mercer, a columnist at WorldNetDaily, wrote: “Like two pimps in a pod, Sharpton and Obama have collaborated to keep racial grievance going.”

    Yeah, she’s not racist at all, nor is WorldNutDaily, nor are some St. Louis area police officers.

  256. Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate) says

    ‘rupt

    *hugs* as desired

    Hekuni Cat
    If you are reading, I sent you an email. And I got your note! :D (I don’t check my mail enough…sorry bout that).

  257. says

    Republicans in Texas lied when they passed anti-abortion bills to “protect women’s health.” A federal judge was more polite, calling the anti-abortion bill “disingenuous.”

    Texas’s justification for an anti-abortion law enacted last year is “disingenuous,” according to Judge Lee Yeakel’s opinion striking parts of that law on Friday. Indeed, Judge Yeakel’s opinion dismantles the state’s avowed justification for the law, pointing out that it does little to protect women’s health and a great deal to restrict access to abortion. Whatever the strength of Yeakel’s argument, however, his decision is unlikely to stand for long, as it will be appealed to one of the most conservative courts in the country — and the Supreme Court has done little to constrain that court from restricting the right to choose. […]

    One of the most significant innovations developed by lawyers and lawmakers who oppose abortion are sham health laws that, on their surface, appear intended to make abortions safer, but which have the practical effect of making abortions difficult or impossible to obtain. […]

    He [Judge Yeakel] also accuses the state of outright dishonesty. Responding to the state’s argument that some Texans can seek abortions in New Mexico if they are unable to obtain one in Texas thanks to HB2, Yeakel notes that this argument completely undermines any suggestion that these laws are supposed to protect women’s health:

    “If the State’s true purpose in enacting the ambulatory-surgical-center requirement is to protect the health and safety of Texas women who seek abortions, it is disingenuous and incompatible with that goal to argue that Texas women can seek abortion care in a state with lesser regulations. If, however, the State’s underlying purpose in enacting the requirement was to reduce or eliminate abortion in parts or all of Texas, the State’s position is perfectly congruent with such a goal.”

    Yeakel, in other words, calls a sham a sham. He recognizes, in the words of the Supreme Court, that the purpose HB2 is to “place a substantial obstacle in the path of a woman seeking an abortion before the fetus attains viability.” And he comes just one step from outright accusing the state of lying when it claims that the law was actually enacted to protect women’s health. […]

    Think Progress link.

  258. rq says

    Anne
    There’s a huge mix of excitement and scaredness, from Eldest and from me, too. I’m sure he’ll be fine, he met his teacher and some of his classmates and didn’t want to leave, so I hope that lasts even when they actually have to learn stuff. And I hope he makes friends. And I hope the education he gets will be decent and well-rounded. *sigh* There’s just so much.

  259. rq says

    Esteleth
    That last resort option sounds pretty harsh… :/ Hopefully the middle stuff was something awesome that will work!

  260. says

    First world problems and all that. I know I’m being stupid and cowardly. Paul’s gone to pick up the new family PC and I’m already getting panic attack symptoms. I think I’ll go hide in the back of the house and let him and the girls sort it all out. I told Emily that’s what I’m thinking of doing and that they might need to call the phone company to get it connected to the internet.

    I feel so stupid, but I just can’t deal with any more stress right now. If anything doesn’t work properly, I’ll feel like it’s all my fault and I should be able to fix it and everybody is depending on me and I’m a total failure. So I’m going to hide and let somebody else deal this time.

    Thanks for letting me vent.

  261. maddog1129 says

    Hi guys. Can someone please tell me where is the best place to post comments about the new FTB format?

  262. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    Anne, I had depression in the past, but over the last 10 months I’ve been experiencing anxiety as well – very serious anxiety.

    I empathize. Take care of yourself. We’ll be here when you need us.

  263. says

    Thanks, CD. The girls got the PC connected and running, but we’re still trying to find out what came with Windows 8.1 and what we’ll need to buy separately, like, for example, a word processor.*

    I’m staying away from the whole thing for now; Nixie will do me fine. And besides, I’m afraid I’ll break something. Change is scary. Just call me chicken, bawk bawk bawk.

    *no, we need to buy Office separately. Tomorrow will do. I’d rather drive back over to Staples, so if we run into trouble, they’ll know exactly what we’ve got.

  264. says

    I got brave and poked things a bit. All I did was set up a screensaver and adjust the sleep settings, and start rebuilding my Firefox toolbar, but still, nobody got blowed up or nuthin’. I’ll call that a win.

  265. cicely says

    Morgan!?, congrats!

    Nerd: Hurray for significant improvement.
    The US medical system blows great, big, wobbly chunks.

    *hugs* for The Mellow Monkey.
    Depression Lies.

    *hugs* for JAL, as well.

    And *hugs* for Tony!.
    (Btw, I left a comment over at your blog.)

    CaitieCat, I am crossing my tentacles on your behalf. I hope the appeals go well.
    *hugs*.
    I hope your back is better, today.

    Beatrice, I hope your neck swelling turns out to be nothing much.
    *hugs*

    Esteleth, I’m sorry about your kitty. *hugs*

    349

  266. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    Okay, I’m doing this.

    If anyone has any comic books featuring Carol Danvers in her identity as “Binary”, or any appearance by Maria De Guadalupe “Lupe” Santiago [Silverclaw], or any appearance by Bonita Juarez [Firebird], LMK. I would happily buy second hand issues of anything with Danvers as Binary or Santiago (as Silverclaw or out of costume) and most of the issues involving Bonita Juarez.

  267. says

    CD:
    I have every issue of West Coast Avengers, where Bonita appeared for a time (around the teens, IIRC).
    I also have every issue of Avengers vol. 3 including all the issues Silverclaw appeared in.
    I know I have most of Binary’s appearances, but after she left the X-Men book her appearances were scattered across single issues here and there for nearly 20 years.

    I’d be willing to part with any of them.

  268. says

    I can feel myself sinking into a funk. A bad one. I’m feeling really lonely. Starved for simple human companionship. I can’t find any desire to get out of bed and now I’m crying. God it feels like my life just sucks.

  269. Morgan!? Militant Pacifist says

    Tony!

    My friend, my friend, I’m reaching out to you with every ounce of love and support I have. Want a phone call? Send me an email at morganmeeker at the google mail.

  270. dianne says

    Tony, you’re describing some fairly classic depression symptoms. Are you ok? I really wish I had some wonderful advice to make it all better, but I don’t know what it would be. Anything I can do to help?

  271. says

    Tony!:

    I am so sorry you are feeling down, and I send you hugs and support. You are a good person, and a caring person, and I wish I could bring you here, so you could hang out with me and my family. Don’t listen to the depression, it’s lying to you.

  272. The Mellow Monkey: Singular They says

    Tony!, I am so sorry you’re feeling that way. That thwarted desire for human companionship is terrible on its own and gets so much worse when it’s on top of feeling like crap. I’m sending you all the ♥ and chocolate chip cookies I can through this computer.

    If they’re welcome, I’ll send some ::hugs:: too. I like you and like what you bring here and I am happy to have your virtual company.

  273. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Tony, we’re still listening, as others have been telling you…

  274. cicely says

    Anne, I am firmly of the opinion—based on my experiences—that there is nothing you can do to upgrade or replace computer-y things (whether software or hardware) that does not result in many many hours of stress and cussing.
     
    I leave the room, and let The Husband get on with it.
    He is in charge of Electronic Things, I am in charge of Spelling and Grammar.
    Simple division of labor, really.

    So, so many *hugs* for you, Tony!.
    You continue to be Awesome.
    Depression continues to lie.
    -

  275. says

    cicely:

    I’ve been the default tech person in the family ( or at least the closest we’ve got) for far too long. It turns out that Emily and Kitty are eager to take over anything involving assembling electronics or furniture. I need to get used to letting them handle it and I need to not let things get to me. Ha. Ha.

    Seriously, it seems like my tolerance for stress just keeps dropping as I get older.

  276. Morgan!? Militant Pacifist says

    Hoo Boy, I am confronted with the necessity of forcefully restraining my impulses. I think I mentioned here before that my across-the-street Mormon BooBah neighbor with seven children has a disabled daughter. She is eighteen years old and although she looks mildly Down’s, her mother says she is profoundly autistic. The terms don’t matter. What does matter is that she is non-verbal. Although she is non-verbal, she is vocal in extremis. And she is very emotional. So she screams. And her screams are piercing. The first time I heard her scream I ran outside to intervene in what sounded like a murder in progress. Her mother apologized to me for neglecting to warn me about these outbursts. Gee, thanks.

    Here is the problem. I react. It is my nature. When I perceive distress, I respond. These screams are a trigger. And they are getting worse. We have only lived here for seven months, and they have gotten noticeably worse. Do I trot across the street and kindly ask these folks to restrain their daughter? I think not. This is something that can not kindly be done. So I am forced to try to become acclimated to murderous screams up here in the woods. Fuck

  277. Crudely Wrott says

    From outside, beyond the selectively soundproof doors of the Lounge, comes the sound of locked tires on 3/4 wash quartz gravel. The thrum of a powerful engine shutting down is punctuated by the thud of an automobile door; a self contained assurance of closely fitted and balanced coachwork that segues into the staccato crunch of determined boot heels approaching.
    The Lounge door opens quickly and closes even faster. One might say, almost instantly. A shadowy figure whose only features are a collar raised and a hat brim lowered, moves liquidly, languidly, to a remote bar stool. A gloved hand, darkly silhouetted against the curious glow that always emanates from the far end of the Lounge, beckons to Tony!, the Constant Tarbender.

  278. Pteryxx says

    *stocks hugs and fuzzy things for them as needs ‘em*

    Pumpkin Online aims to include everyone, everywhere

    When creating your character, gender options include non-binary possibilities, and the choice of gender will not restrict any body features or clothing choices. Same-sex relationships are as present as opposite-sex relationships. The bottom line is, Pumpkin Interactive wants everyone to have the chance to play a character that represents themselves – something that the game industry does not always make possible.

    They’ll also have farming include fruit and trees from all over the world, which I like – why have the same old English-speaking-culture crops? Also some Kickstarter backers get the chance to design a fruit.

    Nat Geo – World’s largest dam removal project unleashes the Elwha river

    Over the past three years, the sediment trapped behind the dams has washed downstream, rebuilding riverbanks and gravel bars and, in and around the river’s mouth, creating some 70 acres of new beach and riverside estuary habitat for Dungeness crabs, sand lance, surf smelt, clams, and other species. On the ocean bottom just offshore, what used to be a kelp-covered expanse of cobbles is now blanketed with mud and sand, also good habitat for crabs and sand lance. “We’re seeing all sorts of different creatures. It’s fantastic,” says U.S. Geological Survey researcher Jonathan Warrick. The Elwha Klallam tribe hopes that eventually, its members will once again be able to harvest shellfish near the mouth of the Elwha.

  279. Morgan!? Militant Pacifist says

    Crudely Wrott!

    Welcome home. Long time no see. Pull up a bar stool. How you be?

  280. Crudely Wrott says

    In a voice subtly pitched to pierce the surrush of air handlers and cooling units only as far as its intended ears, the dark figure places an order.
    In a voice like the moanings of great moons in elliptical orbits pushing yet again toward apogee yet again, yet again away from the insistent greed of misapportioned foci, an order is placed.
    “Hey, buddy! Can I get a Pan Galactic Gargleblaster with an absinthe back?”

  281. Morgan!? Militant Pacifist says

    Crudely

    Please compose the rest of this noir masterpiece!

    How are you? And your family? And your creaky back?

  282. Crudely Wrott says

    Er, is Tony! around? I sure could use those drinks. Not to mention losing this collar and hat that are crowding my style. I usually dress in a much more streamlined style. Less for the wind to catch, you see. Not that its kept the winds away lately.
    But I gotta keep up the disguise till the Tarbender shows up so, you know, don’t call me by my name. ;^>

  283. says

    Thanks all. If not for you folks I’d be feeling pretty damn invisible right now. I’m not one to watch videos often, but I just finished listening to the TED Talk video featuring Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie that PZ linked to in the Everyone should be feminists thread. It was a very well done video, and I think she gave an amazing talk. It took me away from my sorrows for 30 minutes or so, and while I’m far from in a great mood, I am slightly better. I feel a little bit more visible right now.

  284. Crudely Wrott says

    Tlurning to Morgan takes several distinct efforts from the shadowy figure. His profile rotates as a clock’s second hand. Anon, and facing you, Morgan, a smiling voice says that I am no better, my family is still navigating modern peril and ancient habit and my back is still way out of kilter.
    In the case of the first, I am going to make it even considering the impediment of incompetent design of a vertical vertebra.
    In the case of the second, the family is still groping but lately the groping is no quite so blind. There are new complications standing in for older ones that have been discharged which makes it hard to state with confidence confident declarations so I’ll just say that the kids are all right but I’m still worried even while knowing that things will likely turn out better than I currently suspect. Or fear. Yeah, there’s that.
    And the back? HAH!!! Vertical vertebra based on a horizontal prototype FAIL!!
    I had some X Rays made. Viewing them with a doctor should be next . . . waiting to hear from the state disability folks. This process is so slow.

    Say, where’s that Tarbender?

    I have had pictures of it made but haven’t gotten to see them with a qualified doctor. Pictures of my back that is. High energy photons . . . X Rays.

  285. Morgan!? Militant Pacifist says

    Goodnight dear Crudely. Morpheus beckons. Please grace us with your presence on the morrow.

  286. Crudely Wrott says

    Goodnight, dear Morgan. May the old ones leave your dreams to you and you alone.

    I will indeed be here tomorrow.

    *but just this now I’m still looking for the proprietor of this worthy tavern . . .

  287. says

    Crudely Wrott:
    It’s nice to see you my friend.
    ****

    Long whiny post that I probably shouldn’t even hit submit on because I feel like I’m whining over stupid shit, but the mood I’m in, this shit is just replaying in my head on an endless loop.

    I’m feeling quite down today. It’s the ongoing stress of being jobless (yes, I have one, but it doesn’t start until Sept. 9), being without a car (and thus no means to go anywhere or do anything or see anyone), being without money (and thus prevented from doing a shitton of stuff), feeling isolated from friends and people in general.
    The last one was the catalyst for the downturn in my mood today, which itself was the capper for a shitty week of feeling pretty low. My roommate, E, whom I’ve known for 12 years, and whom I’ve been very close to pretty much that entire time, seems to refuse to talk to me.
    I don’t know why.
    He works two jobs, and is often gone before I wake in the morning until 9 or 10 pm. When he gets home, he’s on the phone talking to someone. He doesn’t hang out in the living room, and almost always heads right to his bedroom where he shuts the door. When I see him, he’s on the phone. In the 3 months I’ve been out of work, I’ve talked to him maybe 15 minutes. I’ve repeatedly sent him texts saying that I’d like to talk and catch up like we used to do, especially since I have a whole lot of time right now. He keeps saying “we’ll talk”.
    But it’s nearly September now, and that talk hasn’t happened.
    I don’t know why. I don’t want to pressure him, bc if he’s going through something he may need to work it out on his own. I also don’t want it to look like I want to talk only for my benefit.
    But I cannot deny that it hurts. A lot.
    THAT
    is coupled with the ongoing annoyances I’m facing with the guy I thought I was getting to know. A little more than a year ago, J and I met on the mobile app Grindr, which is more or less a “hey, let’s fuck” app. We never did that, but we hung out a few times and chatted. He lives 10 minutes from my house, and is a progressive atheist. We were both attracted to each other. I told him I was interested in getting to know him and seeing where things went. He told me he was talking to someone else, a guy across the country, but that it wasn’t serious.
    A short time after we met, he told me that it was turning serious. This was out of the blue, after I *thought* he and I were getting closer. Needless to say, this was a blow. Still, I tried to be supportive of him and the problems he said they were having with a long distance relationship. We stopped chatting after I told him I needed space. I wanted to be his friend, but I also wanted to be more than that, and I just couldn’t be his friend, while he’s dating someone, while I wanted to date him. I didn’t bear him any major animosity (though I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was frustrated that he didn’t communicate to me how important this other guy was, which would have told me where his priorities lay).

    Fast forward to 3 weeks ago, and J texts me out of the blue. He’s been thinking of me. He’s single and not seeing anyone. He and I spend 3 consecutive nights together; one of which he asks me out for a date. I enjoyed those night (especially since some sexy fun times occurred and I’d been missing that for over a year). Since then, however, things have been erratic. For the first week or so, he’d text in the morning, from work and we’d communicate throughout the day and into the night. But I began to notice that there were days when I’d text him when I awoke (often 10:30 or 11:00 am), and wouldn’t hear anything back from him for the entire day, or even into the next day. I thought it was odd. Then there were like 3 days when I heard nothing from him. When he texted me finally, it was to say that he was sorry and he wasn’t trying to ignore me, but that he was swamped with school (I may have forgotten him telling me he was in school, but I could have sworn he mentioned being done; in any case, I could have misremembered). He said he’d be done with these papers he was writing and would have more free time. As soon as he was done with his papers though, he mentioned needing to go out of town for a work conference in New York. He added that he really likes my company. Ok, I know his job has him travelling sometimes, no big deal.

    Plus we’re not in a relationship, so he doesn’t owe me anything. This is something I have to keep reminding myself of, bc of my stupid tendency to obsess about some things.

    We communicated a bit while he was in New York, and he told me that his trip was cut short, and that he’d be back in town 8/23. I asked if we could spend some time together on Sunday. No response.

    Sunday rolled around and I shot him a text. No response. I waited til Monday, and sent him a text. No response. Then I started getting both annoyed, frustrated, and saddened.

    Annoyed because it doesn’t make sense to me that if you’re talking to someone, that you don’t communicate what’s going on a little more than he was doing. I wasn’t asking him to spend every waking day with me-hell, I don’t want that. I wasn’t asking him the details of what was going on in his life. I was merely trying to be included in his life to a degree.

    Frustrated because I feel like I’ve been in this kind of situation many times before: I like someone. They like me. We have chemistry. Sex is had. They lose interest. Sometimes sex isn’t had, and they lose interest. Often it’s happened that a person just doesn’t return texts or phone calls. I’m left wondering what the fuck I did wrong.

    Saddened because it really does feel like it’s happening again. Saddened because I was hopeful that some good things were coming my way. Saddened because I don’t know if it’s me or him, or what. Am I not desirable bc I don’t have a job? Is it bc I don’t have a car? Is it bc I’m a person of color? Is it bc you really just wanted me for sex, but didn’t want to tell me this (I’ve encountered this waaaaaaay too often in the past; although he told me he wasn’t looking for “just sex”)? Is it bc I talk during movies (which I do, although I told him I’d work on that)?

    The last text I sent him was on Friday. I told him that I felt like I was bothering him and that this would be my last attempt to communicate with him (unless he responded), since it had been a week since I’d heard anything from him. Friday evening he responded and said he was out of town. I really wanted to be snarky and say “Oh, it was so nice of you to mention that”, but I refrained. He said he was out of town taking care of his mother, and despite my frustrations, I table my issues to express my hope that his mother was ok (she is). I didn’t bring up my concerns, as we text a few more times. I didn’t mention anything about coming to see him, even though I could have easily made the 10 minute walk-I hoped he would ask. It didn’t happen.

    Today-no response to any of my attempts to communicate with him. He’d mentioned right after we got reacquainted that since I didn’t have a car that he’d be happy to pick me up whenever he went grocery shopping so that I could buy groceries, which I thought was a really nice thing to offer. He also mentioned that he would help me out where he could, with regard to transportation. Well today, I realized I needed cat food, and thought “I’ll see what J is doing; perhaps he and I can spend some time together and he can run me up to Wal-Greens”. I got no response. As I sit here typing this out, it’s 11:34 at night and I’ve heard nothing from him.

    There’s this part of me that just obsesses over stuff like this, and has to remind myself that “Hey, you two aren’t together. He’s not your boyfriend. He doesn’t owe you anything.”
    But then there’s this other voice saying “You’re not asking him to marry you. You’re not trying to insinuate yourself into every crack and crevice of his life. You just would like to be included in his life because he *wants* you there. Is it too much to ask for better communication so you know what’s going on rather than fumbling around blindly trying to figure out what’s going on in his head?”

    So combine all of that with the financial woes I’ve been having, and the complete lack of any kind of social life (I go stretches of days where I don’t even see another human being), and this week was rough, with today being the bottom of the doldrums.

    Sorry to dump all of this on your folks.

  288. Crudely Wrott says

    . . . pauses in real time for a beer run . . .

    Duration Beer Run = rnd(twenty minutes plus seven)

  289. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    Tony!, I’m glad you posted your #389. that’s what we’re here for.

    You don’t have to feel the least guilty for wanting someone to respond to you. Feel guilty if you key someone’s car to punish that person for not responding, of course, but that’s not what we’re talking about here. For you, this relationship, whatever form it takes, won’t work without better/more frequent communication. It’s okay to not want the relationship if that communication doesn’t happen. it’s okay if at another time in your life it wouldn’t bother you that communication is erratic. Your needs don’t have to be permanent to be legit. It’s okay if the communication issues with your roommate affect how you feel about J -and vice versa.

    It’s totally okay to feel what you feel. I am, of course, sorry that you feel this crappy stuff, but I want to help you break the feeling-crappy-because-I-feel-crappy spin cycle. Also, submitting it here? It doesn’t feel nearly as heavy when it falls 5000km onto my shoulders as it does sitting stationary on yours. Thank you for giving us the chance to do what friends can and should do for each other.

    Also, you have e-mail.

  290. Crudely Wrott says

    Oh, Dammit, Tony! I picked the wrong time for a beer run.

    Cold comfort to be sure but I do know what it feels like to feel loveable and to be treated as loveable but somehow end up not feeling very loved.

    I cannot recommend any tried and true remedy. The one thing that has always worked for me was to let others sort themselves out and take what happiness I can from that.

    There is no cure for loneliness save the one that, should events so conspire, eventually arrives. You will know it by virtue of its difference from your loneliness.

    As vital and as garrulous and as deeply concerned with people treating people right you are, not to mention your being downright personable, I’d guess that your cure is on its way. Guessing timetables is an uncertain and mainly ill informed venture. Like standing in the station waiting for the 11:52 and your watch says 12:14. Such is life . . .

    Now, how ’bout my drinks?

  291. Crudely Wrott says

    Didn’t mean to demand that you produce them from the air, Tony!.

    I’ll get them; I know where everything is. Including the air and the absinthe.

  292. says

    I couldn’t help you with the Absinthe anyways. It’s against my religion to touch that stuff :)

    I’m heading to bed all. Here’s hoping tomorrow will be a better day.
    Thanks for all the kind words.

  293. Crudely Wrott says

    Good night and good sleep, Tony!

    *postpones rummaging around in the well until the bartender comes back . . . *

  294. Crudely Wrott says

    A line from Steve Miller Band.
    Forty some years old.

    Rise up with the new dawn’s early mornin’
    Feel the sunshine warm upon your face
    Tomorrow’s come a long long way to help you
    Yeah, it’s your savin’ grace

  295. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    *hugs* for Tony,

    good to read you again, Crudely Wrott

  296. says

    Gracie Update

    Antibiotics and something to dislodge the (what we think is a) hairball.

    No pukes yet, but plenty of dry heaving.

    Energy level is up a touch, and she’s eating. Not a whole lot, but she’s eating something, and that’s good. Getting plenty of water, too.

    Now it’s wait and see how things come out.

  297. Crudely Wrott says

    WMD, I have had bad reactions to routinely prescribed medicine.Just because it takes the edge off of the pain does not mean that it provides comfort. Sometimes this just hurts. HURTS!

  298. says

    Anne # 357

    *no, we need to buy Office separately. Tomorrow will do. I’d rather drive back over to Staples, so if we run into trouble, they’ll know exactly what we’ve got.

    If you haven’t already spent money on that MS crap, I recommend Libreoffice, which is free and also doesn’t cost money. Excel beats Calc on a couple features, but unless you’re doing some pretty serious statistical regressions it doesn’t really come up.

  299. says

    Dalillama,

    Unfortunately, the girls have to do Power Point presentations for classes, submit MS format papers, and so on, so we’re kind of stuck with it. Thanks, though, that’s good to know there’s a free option.

  300. Infophile says

    Okay, got an everyday feminism question for people here.

    You know that thing where men ask women to smile out of nowhere? Well, witnessed it for the second time at work this week. I know that as a man myself, I have a bit more sway in influencing other men (It’s not right, but there it is), so I felt like I should try to make a subtle point about it. In the moment, the best idea I could come up with was to highlight the issue with a joke (which hopefully wouldn’t shame the man involved and put him on the defensive, but also hopefully make him think a bit). So, I ended up joking, “You never ask me to smile! Don’t you care about me?” (Admittedly perhaps not the best joke, but it’s what I came up with in the moment.) He replied by going along with the joke and asking me to smile, but then afterward said that he really didn’t do it because he didn’t want to make me uncomfortable. At the moment, I decided not to push that point further, hoping that he might realize on his own the double-standard at play.

    So, my question is: Any tips for how to go about this? Any ways I should alter my approach? I’m likely to come across this again, so it’ll be useful to have some more refined tactics ready to deploy.

  301. says

    Sorry all, I’m a but threadrupt…

    WMDKitty, Esteleth, and anyone else dealing with sick furry kids, you have my kind thoughts. Been there, know how worrying that can be.

    Tony!
    You’re such a sweet soul. I just wanna sqeeze ya till you feel better. Or till your head pops off. I can squeeze pretty hard.
    Or, I can just let you know how esteemed you are around these parts, and we’re glad to listen and support you.

  302. says

    Sigh…

    OK, all. I have to get motivating. I was supposed to be at my parents’ place for a barbeque about half an hour ago. But instead, I’ve been internetting. I guess I just don’t want to go. In fact, I will continue to write this comment in order to procrastinate a bit more. I’d really rather hang out in the Lounge than go over there. My family is nice enough. But when we’re all together, it can get kinda loud and stressful. It’s no secret that my little brother is mom’s favorite, so when we all sit down together, she’ll keep the conversation all about what bro is doing. I’ll sit there quietly for a lot of it (dad and I exchanging mild eyerolls), but after a while, it just gets to be too much. Sorry, bro. Nothing personal. It’s like watching a movie that you don’t love for the eighth time, because it’s what someone else wants to watch all the time. And in the interest of full disclosure, I still have some resentment towards mom for childhood stuff.
    OK, big picture–if a family barbeque is the worst thing I have to deal with this week, maybe I should stop whining and go. Maybe it will build character. :P

  303. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    awakeinmo,

    is it a gathering you shouldn’t miss, like a birthday?
    If not, can’t you just make something up and miss it? Just this one time, to take a little break from them. Life is too short to do things you don’t want to do.

  304. says

    I am having an attack of the inerts. Emily is off at our local park, birding, Kitty’s walked up to Corner Bakery for a frappé and pastry, Paul’s out in the backyard, and the cats are napping.

    I fixed Paul up his own Firefox profile and transferred his bookmarks over from mine, where he’s been piggybacking, and helped him place a bid on some baseball cards. I also nagged (and nagged and nagged) until he took his pills. You know, the medicine doesn’t work until you actually ingest it.

    Anyway, I am inert. I think I’ll sit here a bit longer before I get up and do… something. It’s a nice morning, I have tea and another Discworld novel to reread and nobody is asking me to do anything for them. *looks overhead for Shoes of Damocles*

  305. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    Anne, which book?
    I was reading without any order, then started again by character arcs, which included some rereading and some new books, but I got distracted by something else while I was going through The Watch books.

  306. Morgan!? Militant Pacifist says

    awakeinmo.

    What wine pairs with peanut butter eaten out of the jar?

    Manischewitz (gag)

  307. says

    At the moment, it’s The Truth – I’m rereading all the Watch ones. My brain hurts and I’m in one of those moods where anything new is just not worth it.

    I always go for the ones with the witches or Susan first, though.

  308. says

    Morgan, you’re sadly right. Paul insisted on buying a couple bottles of Manischewitz one Thanksgiving because his mother always served it. Fermented grape jelly in a bottle, yuck.

  309. Morgan!? Militant Pacifist says

    When I started dating my Jewish husband I was introduced to Passover, the ritual and the food. His family is not highly religious and I don’t think any of them have seen the inside of a synagogue in a very long time. Hubby had no problem joining me on my journey to atheism. About Passover food, I actually like gefilte fish with red horseradish and all the rest of the victuals, except one thing: Manischewitz is an abomination. I have not researched this insult to viticulture, but I should. It is beyond awful.
    (nb) In my experience all Passover Seders would benefit from a liberal application of garlic.

  310. rq says

    Manischewitz sounds like Kagor over here – it’s a Georgian church wine, cheap and sickly sweet. Doesn’t taste any better coming back up. :P

    Today, I got definitive* evidence of haunting. See, we went to visit one of the local 13th century castle remains (okay, almost local – down in Koknese, about 70k away… Yeah, Koknese – ‘kuok-ness-eh’, not… it means ‘wood carrier’… never mind), which were pretty darn awesome, and – whaddayanoh, the phone camera stops working, strangely. It takes the picture, but nothing registers on the card (some pretty sweet photos, too), and even the computer won’t understand the weird format (tried). Showed Husband, it’s his old phone, he said similar things have never happened to him in three years of using it (I have been using it since mid-summer). Then we left, to go see the Garden of Fate (a large, to-be-wooded area to be bequeathed to Latvia on its 100th birthday as a public place of rest and solace for all – full of woo, but it will be beautiful once it’s done) and – whaddayanoh, the camera starts working again, after a few shots.
    So there you have it: haunting, proved!

    * For some definitions of ‘definitive’.

  311. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    In my experience all Passover Seders would benefit from a liberal application of garlic.

    A woman belongs in the rabbinate the way (extra [extra]) garlic belongs in Passover cooking.

    As for wines at a Passover seder, I use the same wines I use for Tu B’Shvat: Kinneret. They make good wine, period. Not awesome wine, but wine I’m willing to drink during any season. I don’t just tolerate it on a יום מנוחה once or twice a year.

  312. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    Well no, I’m not in a better mood now that I’ve made a plum torte.
    On the bright side, I’ll eat plum torte tomorrow.

  313. The Mellow Monkey: Singular They says

    I think I may have scratched my eyeball? Flushing it with water didn’t help and it sort of…rubs when I blink. As I’ve got a rather strong fear of things happening to eyes*, this is extremely upsetting to me.

    *Watch an autopsy? No problem. Lasik surgery? AGH NO WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  314. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    Listening to Patti Smith while browsing vegetarian recipes for ideas for take-to-work lunches. Something easy that I won’t feel too lazy to make in the morning.

    For tomorrow: onion, garlic, curry, ginger, chickpeas and tomatoes + rice
    Maybe something cheesy for Tuesday. Hmmm, I’ve got fresh chard.
    Tomato soup will also feature this week.

  315. says

    Anne
    Libreoffice is perfectly capable of saving in .doc and other MS compatible formats; I do it all the time, as a lot of places (including several professors) prefer those formats.

    Beatrice
    *hugs*

    awakeinmo
    Hope the family time’s not too awful.

  316. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    Mellow Monkey,

    Ouch. I’m sorry. In my family we always make some chamomile tea, let it cool a bit and then put some gaze dipped in the tea on a hurting eye (closed, obviously). I doubt it actually works as medicine, but it’s calming.

    (I actually scratched my eyeball once. Well, more like poked it with a sharp edge. I understand you, that’s a pretty horrible feeling. Made me panic quite a bit. Eyes are… important. )

  317. The Mellow Monkey: Singular They says

    Thank you for the suggestion, Beatrice. I imagine the warmth is a bit of a comfort. And anything to keep me from clawing at my eye in a panic is probably good.

  318. says

    Crudely Wrott

    WMD, I have had bad reactions to routinely prescribed medicine.Just because it takes the edge off of the pain does not mean that it provides comfort. Sometimes this just hurts. HURTS!

    I’m utterly lost as to just what it is you’re replying to, here.

    Gracie is continuing to do better today. She has enough energy to complain at me, and she’s eating more.

  319. rq says

    I am not a seamstress, but I totally hemmed the hell out of those pants.
    Now for bed.
    *hugs* for all.

    *tee hee* I’m still giddy: I got trolled by the White Lady!
    (By the way, if I do get all those millions, I’ll share!)

  320. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    The Mellow Monkey,

    Yeah, no clawing. Or even rubbing. If not for the eye, make some tea just to put yourself to some task.
    I’d wish for a troll to take your upset out on, but the type we get lately are all sexist bastards, and I can’t wish those on anyone. Where are religionists when you need them? (no, really, I kinda miss those as opposed to sexist, racist gun fetishists)

  321. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    rq,

    *tee hee* I’m still giddy: I got trolled by the White Lady!

    Um, good for you? Yay?

  322. Morgan!? Militant Pacifist says

    rq,
    are you around? I have some questions on your cheesecake recipe. Can you email me at morganmeeker at the goggle thingy.

  323. says

    Elizabeth Warren has teamed up with Alison Grimes. The powerful duo held a rally in Kentucky and it was a huge hit, with 3-block-long lines to get in and a standing-room-only crowd.

    In Kentucky. Where Mitch McConnell should be plenty worried.

    Daily Kos link. Story and some great photos at the link. Good political news. Enjoy.

  324. says

    Can this be true!? Unfortunately it is. In the USA 14 states posted more gun deaths than motor vehicle deaths.

    People sometimes will defend gun culture with the statement that cars kill more people, so let’s outlaw cars. Stupid argument since many more people own and use cars on a daily basis. But putting the stupidity aside, there’s still not a good point to be made because gun deaths exceeded motor vehicle deaths in:
    Oregon
    Utah
    Alaska
    Arizona
    Colorado
    Illinois
    Louisiana
    Maryland
    Michigan
    Nevada
    Ohio
    Vermont
    Virginia
    Washington State
    District of Columbia

    http://www.oregonlive.com/pacific-northwest-news/index.ssf/2014/07/gun_deaths_outnumbered_motor-v.html

  325. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    @dalillama, #429:

    Libreoffice

    I hear Libreoffice is butter-smooth on the keyboard, despite the gaudy, jangly flash.

    The gay, old thang.

  326. carlie says

    Guys, guys, GUYS.
    I have finally thought to combine mashed watermelon puree with pear hruskova.
    It is good.

    Hugs to Crudely (yay!), and Tony, and everyone else who needs one.

    On top of all of the beginning of semester craziness, and the extra work at work craziness, and everything else, this week our minivan died for the last time, so now we have to figure out how to do an extra car payment. I guess the insulation stuff won’t happen for awhile. :( But, better to find out before we spent the money than after, I guess. I don’t know how this will work, but I guess it will have to – our schedules won’t match at all for having one person with car and one without for too long. We can manage for a month or so, but as soon as the kids start getting into after school stuff it will be a nightmare. Oh, and their school starts Thursday. It’s going to be a week, that’s for sure.

    But at least I have half a bottle of pear liquor. ;)

  327. says

    Nym change! I’ve changed Inaji to Iyéska.

    It has three meanings:

    1. Mixed blood (a person who is mixed blood, it has also been used for halfbreed.)
    2. Translator
    3. A ghost which stands at the crossroads of the visible and invisible worlds.

  328. says

    Welp, I went to the parents’. I drank a little, rolled my eyes a little, generally kept my mouth shut (always a good idea at family time), ate some, played a bit with the nephew, watched some MST3K with dad, made big googly eyes for a large muppet-looking arbor, and filled the pool with light-up rubber duckies. My dad is great. He is always ready to indulge silly whims like “let’s make big googly eyes for that plant!” and “let’s fill the pool with light-up rubber duckies!”

    Anne
    Thanks for the hug. I’ll take it gratefully, even tho I was being kind of a baby about the whole thing.

    As a friend of mine says, parents know just how to push your buttons because they installed them.

    Indeed. Indeed.

    Morgan
    I’ve never tried Manischewitz. Now I’ve got a morbid curiosity per its awfulness.

    Beatrice

    Just this one time, to take a little break from them.

    Yeah…I’m not going over there tomorrow. Their Fox News-watching friends will be there. Don’t need none of that.

  329. says

    Iyéska

    A ghost which stands at the crossroads of the visible and invisible worlds.

    It is wicked cool that a language would have a word for such a thing.

  330. toska says

    Iyéska
    I’m just a random person on the internet, so you obviously don’t need my approval, but I think your new nym is awesome. And the three meanings? *chills*

  331. says

    Iyéska, nice new ‘nym. I like that it has such interesting multiple meanings.

    carlie, oh, damn, I’m sorry about your car. *hugs*

    awakeinmo, *more hugs*. I’m glad you had fun with your dad.

    I’ve strung two bead strings incorporating some of my felt heart ornaments. Tomorrow I want to do one more, and then a couple with just beads and maybe some sequins, and that’ll do it.

  332. Pteryxx says

    Game/comic/TV reviewer The Geeky Gimp (blog) now has Twitch and Youtube channels (first entry here with transcript).

    and John Scalzi points to a discussion of how he handled disability in his book Lock In:

    “To my knowledge, this is the first science fiction novel based largely around the complexities of providing reasonable accommodations for disability,” Perry writes.

    I’m not sure I would make such a claim myself (the SF field is vast and someone probably has essayed this particular topic before), but I will say it was an aspect of the book that I, as someone who does not suffer from any disability greater than nearsightedness, was well aware was territory that would allow me to show how little I actually knew about it. I expect that there are subtleties that I’ve missed and things I’ve gotten wrong — and I expect I’ll hear about those and see the criticisms about them online.

  333. carlie says

    incorporating some of my felt heart ornaments.

    So would you say they’re “heart-felt” ornaments?

    Yeah, I’ll show myself out.

    ;)

  334. says

    Anne

    I’m glad you had fun with your dad.

    I always do. Some of his greatest hits:
    “We’ve got the balsa planes, lighter fluid and matches. I think we’re ready.”
    “Take this potato gun! Wasn’t me! I was never here!”
    “Turns out, it’s a fine line between a rocket engine and a pipe bomb.”
    “It’s only 110 volts. It’s not going to kill you. Watch…”
    “Is this twerking? Am I doing it right?”

  335. Rey Fox says

    I just want to announce to everybody that I finally finished the damn Bible. Now if anybody gives me crap about how I should read the Bible, I can give it right back.

  336. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    Xposted from TD:

    Does anyone know a good, free statutory mark-up tool for US law?

    Thanks.

  337. birgerjohansson says

    You will never, ever, hear a conservative party boss in Britain or USA say this.
    “Reinfeldt calls for tolerance to refugees” http://www.thelocal.se/20140816/reinfeldt-calls-for-tolerance-to-refugees
    Swedish conservatives are embedded in a different culture. And Swedish politicians are still embedded in the middle class, not the go-to-scool-in-Switzerland class.
    .
    Reineldt is still someone I will never vote for, but I will not-vote for him respectfully

  338. chimera says

    Thinking about stuff this a.m. I am wondering if my views are moving more and more to the left, becoming more radical, or if the world around me here in Paris is moving to the right. Of course, left versus right is too simplistic and uni-dimensional to capture what I’m talking about but can give an idea. For 30 fucking years I listened to a public radio station here, France Culture. I even learned French listening to it. Sometimes I think I learned to think listening to it. Now, I can’t listen to it for more than 5 minutes. Just now, I attempted to listen to the news. They were talking about the relationship between France and Germany and the commentator said “Like a good wife, France should follow Germany’s lead.” So we have endorsement of economic austerity measures (that Germany wants) all rolled up in a kind of voluntary servitude (to Germany which is so superior to France) and that is gendered (what “good wives” do). Triple whammy of a conservative hierarchy in one breath.

    I turned the radio off.

    I do know that other people have complained of this particular radio station moving to the right and also becoming more conformist and formatted in every way. The first generation of people who worked there did not come out of journalism schools, the programs they made were idiosyncratic, wonderful and sometimes even strange. They seemed to be more interested in their subject matters than in their careers or their ratings. Now it it is full of these young self-satisfied jerks from journalism schools whose smirks are audible, who speak in sound-bites and whose programs are formatted and conceived in multiples of 5 to 15 minute segments. But this radio station is just one example of the way the society/culture seems to be moving.

    Is it me or is it them or is it both? I can’t evaluate the problem. Everything is moving and changing at once including me and I have no stable point from which to measure or observe. I just have a feeling of dispossession and despair.

  339. says

    Hello,

    I was here about a week ago, talking about my mental illness (Bipolar Disorder) (I know a few of you may remember me, but I haven’t had time to dip into these waters since.)

    I know this will only be anecdotal, but I was wondering if anyone here knows anyone who’s had ECT. I am seriously considering it because my illness is so intractable and miserable when I have an “attack.” All the meds I could take, other than what I’m on (mood stabilizers) will have serious effects on my health (will tip me over into the red zone), and my life at times is such hell that I become constantly suicidal and can’t bear life at all. The negative effects of ECT probably aren’t as bad as death!

    So, does anyone have an opinion about ECT from a more personal perspective? (I ask here because so many are experienced in the arena of mental health, and other than researching on the internet I have few people to ask.)

    Best,

    Sue

  340. carlie says

    …aaand, although everything was fine yesterday, now the passenger window won’t roll down from the driver’s side controls on the one good car we have. Great. I know, it could be much worse, it’s just… having that to live with now is freaking annoying. This car is already missing a door handle and the back defrost is spotty, and now the window, and we still have a year left to pay on it, and buying another car now means it will definitely be at least five more years before it can be replaced. Blargh.

  341. carlie says

    I think the window bothers me so much because on the car it replaced, the passenger window wouldn’t roll down at all – for ten years. It was so nice to have functional windows.

  342. bassmike says

    Pretty threadrupt, but I’m back!

    Did I miss anything in the last two weeks?

    Did you miss me?

  343. rq says

    Hi, bassmike!
    *hugs*

    sueinnm
    Unfortunately, I can’t offer any information, but I can offer support!!

    carlie
    Ah, if it’s not one thing, it’s always another, and they usually travel in packs.

  344. birgerjohansson says

    Chimera, sadly there may be some brain-dead creeps who indeed “celebrate” September 1st. They turn up spray-painting swastikas in urban centres. Fortunately there must be few, since they don’t leave their marks behind except big cities.

    Herr Putin is in his own way celebrating that heritage by doing Anschluss. But the ideology behind his expansionism is older, going back to Imperial Russia.
    — — — —
    At Ed Brayton’s blog, we again get to see one of those letters anti-semites send to Mike Weinstein.
    (excerpt)
    A “jew muslam (sic) queer loving jew.”
    “Why don’t you eat some of your jewbread soked with the blood of innocent Christian children? To make it tasty for you you jew of jews.”
    .
    Comments: -It’s kind of like Tourettes with the word Jew . Jourettes”?
    -Mikey is the “jew of jews”? Wouldn’t that make him Jesus?

  345. chimera says

    birgerjohansson, gotcha.
    I enjoyed some of your links above. Read stuff on that American expat Swedish news site and found it very amusing. Where two different cultures come into contact and clash is so revealing of each.

  346. chimera says

    My love of the month: Ferran Savall and his latest album (impro 2014).

    Here’s what the Alia Vox label has to say about it “After his acclaimed first opus, Ferran Savall is back with a deeply personal album that recaptures moments of grace recorded during improvisation sessions from 2003 to 2011. Whether performing as vocal and guitar solo or accompanied by his father Jordi Savall and the percussionist Pedro Estevan, he continues to explore the traditions of his native Catalonia, enriched with his own musical experience. The intimate character of this album culminates in the track « Comiat d’una Mare » (Farewell to a mother), a piece dedicated to the soprano Montserrat Figueras, who died on 23 November, 2011. Ferran Savall closes the album with a new interpretation of ‘Over the Rainbow’ that is remarkable for its depth and simplicity.”

  347. rq says

    I can get a doctor’s note for getting stung by a wasp, right? Palm of hand? I have to type a lot? No?
    Boo. :P

  348. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    rq,

    I thought fascists all through Europe would slowly push it into war. I didn’t think it would be Russia.

  349. rq says

    Beatrice
    Well, here it was always going to be Russia, but that’s just because the local fascists have never been much inclined to war. And everyone else seems to get along, so with Russia poking its nose into business… Perhaps not a European war, but a land-grab in eastern Europe? Why not?
    Kind of makes me wonder, though – a couple of years ago, the government signed a new border treaty with Russia, basically signing away a province (which had been, since 1918, a legitimate part of Latvia). There was a lot of media bluster about selling out one’s country, and giving in too easily, but I wonder, these days, if there were any hidden threats at that time. The treaty had already gone unsigned since the early 1990s (I think), and there was a lot of confusion about the sudden rush to sign it now… Makes me wonder, considering current war in Ukraine.
    Anyway. I could mull over all of this way too much to be good for me. I still have to sleep at night.

  350. a_ray_in_dilbert_space says

    Sueinnm,
    While I have experience with neither ECT nor bipolar (I just get the depression), a very close friend did have ECT for bipolar disorder when she was in her teens. She was not a fan and felt it caused some long-term memory issues and probably set her back. Now her experience was back in the ’70s, and my understanding is that the treatment has advanced quite a bit. Moreover, my friend obviously survived, she went on to not only get an advanced degree, but also to be one of the brightest, most creative people I know. I think it says something that she never opted for the treatment again, despite having some hard times since. Fortunately, she has found a very supportive environment, with a wonderful husband who watches out for her.

    The thing is that while the treatment has demonstrated effectiveness for many, nobody can tell you HOW it works. So, only you can make this decision. There is a reasonable probability that the treatment will help to even you out somewhat. There is a not insignificant probability that you may have some side effects to work through. Only you can gauge the risk-benefit calculus. I hope you can find a treatment that works for you. I know what you are experiencing is no fun and probably quite scary. You will be in my thoughts.

  351. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    rq,

    I don’t know. I hope we’re just being too pessimistic.

  352. rq says

    Beatrice
    Yup. Saaaame here. :/ That it’s just a factor of jumpy nerves due to vague historical similarity, not… you know. Because NATO and the EU and all. Obviously, we’re safe. :P

  353. says

    When President Obama was elected to his first term, gun sales in the USA soared, particularly sales of assault rifles and other weapons. Conservative politicians and media harped endlessly on the pseudo-fact that Obama was going to “take away our guns” and/or ban assault rifles and other weapons.

    Now that it has become obvious that Obama is not going to take your gun, nor has he banned assault rifles, we have another problem. Gun manufacturers are hopping mad and financially worried because sales of assault-type weapons have finally slowed down. They are stuck with excess inventory. Smith & Wesson Holding Corp. shares have fallen precipitously. Sturm Ruger shares lost 33% of their value this year.

    These gun manufacturers are now in the ironic position of promoting, by backdoor means, legislation to restrict gun ownership. Or better yet, just the threat of legislation to restrict gun ownership. They’re still making plenty of money, just not quite as much money as they made two years ago. People are still buying guns, they’re just slowing down when it comes to amassing personal arsenals of heavy weapons. Bloomberg News link.

    There’s always the kiddie market.
    http://www.womensoutdoornews.com/2014/08/7-ways-children-can-fun-shooting-range/

    Oh, and this is funny. Gun makers still manage to blame Obama.

  354. Rey Fox says

    chigau: Have done.

    birger: Thanks, but I think I’d like to take a break from Jesus for a while.

  355. says

    Let’s add up the billions of dollars that have been wasted by the so-called “fiscally conservative” Republicans.

    […] GRAND TOTAL: $25,022,300,000

    Its amazing that a fiscally conservative party has contrived to spend or waste this much money. Would anyone seriously suggest most of it had been well spent? This is without factoring the economic impact of 1.6 million jobs threatened by the Sequester. We could even look further, and factor in the amount forfeited by Republican run states that have rejected the medicaid expansion under the Affordable Care Act […]

    Details, dollar by dollar, at the link.

  356. says

    Oh, fer cheezits sake, the Arizona Republican who claimed that Central American kids crossing our southern border brought the Ebola virus into the USA has won. The dunderhead won last week’s primary.

    Republicans, how do they work?

    […] Ebola has only been found in Africa, on the other side of the planet from Central America, but reality is seldom a factor in Arizona politics.

    “I don’t think anyone would be surprised,” Tobin said, if his fantasies actually turn out to be true.

    The “anyone” he was talking about would be people who probably don’t know or care that Honduras isn’t in Africa, and they think it made a dandy campaign tale anyway.

    Besides, Tobin barely edged out some comedy competition from rancher Gary Kiehne and freshman state Rep. Adam Kwasman. […]

    Kiehne’s major campaign publicity came from stating that 99 percent of mass murderers are Democrats […]

    Kwasman tried to measure up with a press conference describing the fear he saw on the faces of a busload of Central American children arriving at a proposed Oro Valley holding site. He later found out that the kids he saw were YMCA campers […]

    The winner in this dignified political exercise is given even odds against incumbent Democratic Rep. Ann Kirkpatrick of Flagstaff in the November general election.

    The sprawling district reaches all the way from Tucson’s northern suburbs to the New Mexico border, up to the Utah border and west to the Flagstaff area in a giant apostrophe shape. […]

    Oh, yeah, lots of anti-democratic redistricting going on in Arizona in order to guarantee Republican wins.

    Daily Kos link.

  357. The Mellow Monkey: Singular They says

    An Amazing 10 Years: The Discovery of Egg and Sperm in the 17th Century
    Interesting read, though frustrating because it uncritically regurgitates sexism and gender essentialism throughout.

    It seems very likely that early human populations did not know that intercourse led to babies. There are [sic] number of reasons for thinking this. Firstly, how could they know? The link between intercourse and pregnancy is not at all clear or immediate–people can easily have intercourse without the woman getting pregnant and the first sigs of pregnancy may not be seen for weeks after the fact. This surprising supposition is supported by the widespread existence of matrilineal communities in hunter-gatherer societies, which suggests that men’s role in generation was uncertain.

    Yes. There couldn’t be any possible reason for a matrilineal community to exist except because they don’t know where babies come from. No reason whatsoever.

    On the other hand, this bit amused me:

    Then, in autumn 1677, a young medical student from Leiden, Johann Ham, brought Leeuwenhoek some pus mixed with semen to examine. Ham claimed that this was produced by a ‘friend’ who had ‘lain with an unclean woman’. When Ham looked at the sample under his microscope, he had noticed many ‘animalcules’ in it; alarmed or enthused (it is not clear which), Ham brought the sample to Leeuwenhoek, who confirmed the observation and did the obvious thing: he looked at his own semen.

  358. rq says

    Mellow Monkey
    Yet somehow, people managed to breed animals for generations and generations and actually improve bloodlines by mating the correct animals together – but the same (or similar) act in humans was roundly ignored? I think it gives too little due to the observational powers of early humans (though I suppose it depends how early, really…).

  359. says

    Rey Fox @491:

    birger: Thanks, but I think I’d like to take a break from Jesus for a while.

    So which mythological figure are you going to read up on during your break from Jebus? You’ve a lot to pick from :)

  360. The Mellow Monkey: Singular They says

    rq, amazing, isn’t it? That this sort of stuff is often based on (racist) assumptions about modern hunter-gatherers is especially aggravating.

    Beatrice, it’s hurting a little and I’ve got a migraine. Since I take an antihistamine to help with my migraines and I don’t want to dry my eye out, I’ll just have to suffer through on that part. It doesn’t feel as irritated as it did yesterday, so hopefully it’ll be feeling normal soon.

  361. says

    I just glanced over the new threads PZ has posted, and ugh, the world is a horrible place. I feel the need to hug someone. Any takers?

    Time for lunch, then I’m going to do something brainless and restful until it’s time to talk to Aged Mum.