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I wouldn’t want to contribute to “outrage culture”

Some people think that criticizing atheists is offensive and wrong. Therefore, I have to institute some new policies here.

You are no longer allowed to disagree with me. If you do so, you are being divisive.

This rule applies everywhere. Not only are you not allowed to disagree in my comments, but if you write a single contrary word elsewhere, you are guilty of fomenting a witch hunt. If you disagree in any way, then I will indignantly declare you guilty of making me witch of the week.

If two or more of you disagree with me at the same time, that is indisputable evidence of a conspiracy. Atheists cannot find independent cause to disagree with your Leader — we agree on everything — and besides, you are only allowed to exalt me.

I’m sure you will find all these new rules agreeable, because not doing so is a sign that you are making Drama, which is bad, and failing to support unquestioning loyalty, which is unforgivable.

Hail Me, and the Glorious Leadership.

There will be no questions. Obey.

Comments

  1. Ichthyic says

    will there be a test?

    Hail Me, and the Glorious Leadership.

    but what if one of the Glorious Leadership disagrees with you?

    what DO WE DO THEN????

    There will be no questions. Obey.

    *head explodes*

  2. Alex says

    Wait, I’m confused… From what I’ve read on the internets about you, I thought those had been the rules all along!

    And by the way, who’s this Thou person that everybody tells me you’re holier than?

  3. lol mahmood says

    Well said. I for one would like to welcome our Teflon godless overlords.

    Also, burn the witches. But don’t criticise them, because it is no exaggeration to say that that is a witch hunt….um…or is it drama?

    Wait, I can’t. …I’m confused. We’re called ‘freethinkers’, but if we think freely about our ‘leaders’ then we’re looking for outrage?

    Ah, soddit! Hail!

  4. Lofty says

    “I expect to be banned for this post, but”
    I disagree with teh poopyhead just on principle.
    I IZ DA SUPREEEM LEEEDER OF G.R.O.S.T. and don’t you forget it.
    (minion class membership applications now open to candidates bearing suitable snax)

  5. rq says

    *makes self comfortable on sacrificial altar*
    Go ahead, burn me. Let the name-calling begin for what I’m about to say, but I disagree.

  6. Al Dente says

    Alex @3

    And by the way, who’s this Thou person that everybody tells me you’re holier than?

    That would be me. It’s my job to be Thou this week. Last week it was Jadehawk and next week it’s either Louis or Lynna (the schedule is a little unclear). You have Thou duty the second week of February 2015.

  7. HappyNat says

    The first rule of hivemind is you do not question hivemind or the hivemaster.

    hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiivemiiiiiiiiiiind

  8. says

    Ah. Drama. It is funny (as in “not funny at all”) how many supposed rationalists cannot distinguish between “this idea/action of yours/theirs is bad and here are the reasons for me saying so” and “BUURN THEM WICKED WITCHES!!!!!!!”.

    As for me, I always have a pitchfork at the ready.

  9. cartomancer says

    Sorry, someone already made Drama from these sentiments. Here’s Creon from Sophocles’ Antigone, to his son:

    “… No, whomsoever the city may appoint, that man must be obeyed, in little things and great, in just things and unjust; and I should feel sure that one who thus obeys would be a good ruler no less than a good subject, and in the storm of spears would stand his ground where he was set, loyal and dauntless at his comrade’s side.

    But disobedience is the worst of evils. This it is that ruins cities; this makes homes desolate; by this, the ranks of allies are broken into head-long rout; but, of the lives whose course is fair, the greater part owes safety to obedience. Therefore we must support the cause of order, and in no wise suffer a woman to worst us. Better to fall from power, if we must, by a man’s hand; then we should not be called weaker than a woman. “

  10. azhael says

    You are all rabid, radical feminists that thirst for the blood of good, pure rationalists. You are so blinded by your emotion driven need to pounce on innocent knights of The Sacred Covenant of The Logic that you will do so even when they merely fuck up. Like irrational penis hating leopards…or something…

  11. dianne says

    But I thought we Evil Atheists always agreed, possibly due to mind control, and that any apparent disagreement was just part of the larger plan. No doubt PZ is sitting in his underwater lair, patting his right hand octopus, and chuckling, “Excellent!” when accused of creating rifts or outrage culture.

  12. twas brillig (stevem) says

    I DISagree11!!! Send me my badge of honor: “Banned from Pharyngula”, send it to ME at “This Address”, my Hometown, USA. I’ll expect it to arrive, real soon. I demand it, right now!1!11!!

  13. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    We all agree with PZ all the time. Just look at the thread about Dawkins. Brimming with support for Glorious Leader.

  14. Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought says

    I don’t want a badge, I want cookies. Are there Banned From Pharyngula Cookies?

  15. Donnie says

    @19: Beatrice……

    Ask the crowd at the slime pit. They decided to play the game “get banned by PZ and have your name displayed in the Dungeon and get a cookie in the pit”

  16. borax says

    But I have to agree with all of the atheist leaders. If I disagree with one, then the whole movement will collapse and I’ll have to join a church where people dance with rattle snakes. I don’t want to dance with a rattle snake.

  17. throwaway, never proofreads, every post a gamble says

    Oh, Almighty PZed, Your Worshipfulness, Your Eminence, I beseech thee, upon knees I do so, groveling, to mention to the masterful person thou hast assigned domain over your … er … domain – mention thus, if it is oh-so agreeable to thou – work out a way to where we can double click a ‘nym without also selecting the graphic as well. In Lovecraft’s name, Ramen.

  18. Louis says

    Hmmm…

    So if I agree with the premise of PZ’s original post (ironic statements about his non-existent leadership) I am agreeing with PZ like he’s some Dear Leader big cheese.

    If I disagree with the premise of PZ’s original post (ironic statements about his non-existent leadership) then I agree he is ACTUALLY some Dear Leader big cheese.

    Either way I am made into some “PZ is a Dear Leader big cheese” flunky.

    FUCK YOU, MYERS! FUCK YOU!

    Louis

  19. shouldbeworking says

    If you’re the Great Leader & He Who Must Be Obeyed, is Ed the Grand Fromage?

  20. Al Dente says

    Louis @27

    Either way I am made into some “PZ is a Dear Leader big cheese” flunky.

    You say that like it’s a bad thing.

  21. Louis says

    Al Dente,

    I’ve read the internet. I know it’s bad.

    Because you see one cannot criticise a big name atheist leader, because CRITICISM causes drama and rifts and division and hurts the movement.

    The problem with Pharyngula is we don’t criticise PZ as he’s a big name atheist leader, because LACK OF CRITICISM causes drama and rifts and divisions and hurts the movement.

    I hope that helps.

    Also see: “my big name atheist leader is better than your big name atheist leader” or other titles in the series include “my big name atheist leader can beat up your big name atheist leader”.

    It’s like the human factors found by sociology, psychology and biology that make humans do things like…oooooh I dunno, religion…are common to all humans and those of us without religions are also susceptible to their wicked blandishments and attractions and maybe juuuuust maybe we should pay SOME FUCKING ATTENTION TO THAT. Who would have thought that!?

    Why some of us even remember being atheists in the Time Before Feminism when all we did was be rude to creationists (LOL) and get all eyerolly about wishy washy fuckwits wanking on about how those atheists think they’re so superior and are all rational and clever and stuff and all theists are just stooopid when some of us went out of our way to make it clear that we didn’t actually think that and it’s perfectly possible for smart people to do really not-smart things…

    …I’m stopping that sentence now. It started to get out of hand.

    ;-)

    Louis

  22. David Chapman says

    borax
    I don’t want to dance with a rattle snake.

    You don’t know what you’re missing, they totally know how to shake their asses!

  23. blf says

    Most unfortunately, peas have not been banned.
    So there we have it! Proof, proof that poopyhead is in the pay of Big Pea.
    Also the reptilians, Trilateral Commission, and the Illuminati.

  24. Esteleth is Groot says

    If PZ is god, then heaven must be clouds of lutefisk where extremely nice angels drink watery beer

  25. says

    “When obedience ceases to be an irritant and becomes our quest, in that moment God will endow us with power.” Ezra Taft Benson, former Prophet/Seer/Revelator of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Yes, E.T. is a dead mormon).

    By this logic, PZ should be endowing me with power any minute now. Assuming PZ is God. Check. The innertubes tell me that PZ is my god. Assuming I am obedient. Uh oh.

    Yeah, I’m fucked. [joins rq on the comfy sacrificial altar — brought my favorite pillow and blankie, willing to share stash of bacon if this takes longer than expected]

  26. laurentweppe says

    Ah, I knew that allowing a Cat in your home would eventually bring out your inner petty tyrant: the inherent evil of the perfidious felines is proved once again.

  27. says

    You are no longer allowed to disagree with me. If you do so, you are being divisive.

    If you were the real PZ Myers saying this of course we, your loyal sockpuppets, would be obliged to follow this command. But as we know that you are PZ Meyers, we need not listen.

  28. says

    This is an update from the Poopyhead’s sacrificial altar, where rq and I are comfortably ensconced, eating bacon while we wait for the Overlord.

    A line is forming, which leads me to believe that the Poopyhead may have more disobedient followers than he thought. The altar itself is magnificent, resting as it does on the backs (backs?) of twelve gigantic octopuses carved from Minnesota’s state stone, Lake Superior agate.

  29. says

    You will stop eating bacon, and start snacking on healthy peas. By my decree.

    Dude, I’m here for the sin of disobedience. [Tony, please have more bacon delivered to the altar.]

  30. Louis says

    You will stop eating bacon, and start snacking on healthy peas. By my decree.

    Brothers, sisters, why can’t we have peas with bacon!? I implore you!

    Louis

  31. says

    Lynna:

    [Tony, please have more bacon delivered to the altar.]

    I thought Nerd was on bacon duty. I’ve been the danish guy all week.
    Not to mention, if I were in charge of the bacon, it wouldn’t make its way to the altar (unless the altar is mah belly!)

  32. says

    Party at the Altar! Party at the Sacrificial Altar! Nerd is here with bacon and grog; rq turns out to have a secret stash of Latvian potatoes (fermented and not), and Tony is here with the Danish.

    You will have to cross protest lines of Poopyhead’s Obedient Doofuses (PODs) throwing peas, but not to fear, Louis is in the process of negotiating a detente.

  33. says

    Ariaflame:

    Are they mushy peas?

    Sorry. Doesn’t matter if they are mushy peas, or peas harder than a diamond.
    All peas are evil. They are not fit for human consumption. I wouldn’t give them to my dogs or cats either. I might let roaches feed on them.

  34. says

    Lynna:

    You will have to cross protest lines of the internet Poopyhead’s Obedient Doofuses (PODs) throwing peas, but not to fear, Louis is in the process of negotiating a detente.

    Fixed your iPod for you :)

  35. says

    Improbable Joe:

    Hail me too. I’m a THINKY KING! Hail me, and send me money for my global atheism initiative to send me to various beaches and tourist attractions around the world to be an atheist in those places.

    Oh Joe, don’t you know?
    You must first perform 12 labors to prove your worthiness to occupy the coveted top spot currently held by Dawkins. Then you have to engage him in combat, and you’ll only have an unlimited supply of peas and a slingshot to do battle with. You’ll be David to his Goliath. I’m rootin’ for ya!

  36. says

    Sure, PZ’s deathbots have been rounding up more and more people for summary executions and sure his pro-pea stance is entirely the result of massive kickbacks and bribes from the pea lobby. And let’s not forget the way his mad edicts have gotten more and more bizarre and contradictory and he’s rumored to roast and eat children atop his dread throne made from the bones of former advisors who coughed inappropriately.

    But we must remember that any form of criticism or disapproval of this is just “kicking someone out of the Atheist community” and creep-shaming and disloyal divisions to the true soul of atheism which says that anyone who is white, male, and been active in the community more than 5 years is infallible and should only be judged on their merits of not believing in God.

    Honestly, I’m really disappointed by all of you in the line up the mountain of blood for summary execution for your disloyalty to the atheist cause and your unnecessary inclusion of drama. For shame.

  37. says

    Tony! #59

    Oh Joe, don’t you know?
    You must first perform 12 labors to prove your worthiness to occupy the coveted top spot currently held by Dawkins.

    Hadn’t you heard? It’s now 18 labours, with a labours tax of 4.5%, making a total of 18.81 labours. That’s inflation for you.

  38. Al Dente says

    support our plan to put up racially insensitive billboards

    Dave Silverman is in charge of that effort and is doing a superb job at it.

  39. says

    Al Dente:

    Dave Silverman is in charge of that effort and is doing a superb job at it.

    I thought his job was to find those conservative atheists who have secular arguments against abortion and bring them under the Big Tent.

  40. says

    Hail Me, and the Glorious Leadership.

    There will be no questions. Obey.

    1- is PZ the only member of the glorious leadership?
    2- how long do we have to obey? I’m hoping it’s just for today, because any longer and the outrage culturist in me gets a little feisty, and needs expression.

  41. Stacy says

    Outrage Culture Bad. Therefore I shall not openly disagree, or offer any specific criticism. I’ll just be vague and passive-aggressive instead, like the Brave Hero I am:

    Somebody is a poopyhead.

    There, see? I never called PZ Myers a poopyhead! Prove that I did.

    PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY. It’s all the rage among those who are Outraged by Outrage Culture.

  42. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Dang, why is this line moving so slowly? *goes after more grog, swill, and bacon sammiches for the lines*

  43. bachfiend says

    I’ve been banned from Jerry Coyne’s blog ‘Why Evolution is True’ for commenting on the thread ‘the Bonobo and the Atheist-Basher’ (which criticises de Waal’s book ‘the Bonobo and the Atheist’) for noting that I’ve read the book, liked it, and regard the vehemence with which atheism is promoted to be a matter of opinion – similar to whether one prefers dogs or cats.

    The comment was deleted, and Jerry Coyne wrote a comment complaining about an unnamed reader (there was no reference to anyone) derailing the thread. Even a later comment on a thread dealing with Nicholas Wade’s book agreeing that it was terrible (I read it and wrote a 1 star review on Amazon) wasn’t allowed.

    Before Michael Egnor pulled up stumps and stopped posting new threads on his blog ‘Egnorance’, he was regularly called an idiot and illiterate (and worse) and never censored or banned any of his readers (otherwise I suspect he’d never get any readers). The ‘dialogue’ between the resident atheists and Egnor’s conservative (to the right of Ghenkis Khan) Christian supporters was very amusing.

    Fortunately, there doesn’t appear to be any censorship I can see on PZ’s blog. Not that I read many of the comments (there’s usually too many).

  44. microraptor says

    Come see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I’m being repressed!

  45. 2kittehs says

    WMDKitty — Survivor @79:

    That is the correct feline response. Even better would be to sit at the door and demand to go out. And come in. And go out. And come in.

  46. UnknownEric the Apostate says

    Atheoskeptical Leadership: “We’re here for YOU, we represent YOU.”
    Average Joe: “I don’t like the way you represent me.”
    Atheoskeptical Leadership: “HERESY!!!! YOU’RE TEARING THE MOVEMENT APART, LISA!!!! Drama bloggers, SJWs, yaaarrrrrggghhhhhh!”

  47. vaiyt says

    Egnor’s conservative (to the right of Ghenkis Khan) Christian supporters

    That’s an insult to Genghis Khan and Mongols in general.

  48. Crimson Clupeidae says

    All glory to the hypnotoad Poopyhead!

    Lynna, what exactly happens on the altar? Spankings? That would explain the long line. …and why I’m in it. :D

    Improbable Joe, I thought you were more of a thinky middle manager, sorry. :-P

    Tony, you’re confusing THINKY KING with a position that actually contributes and therefore needs to be earned. Atheist leadership/royalty is attained by declaration and reinforced by giving me money when I tell you things you already know and that makes you feel super-smart.

    Oh. Ok. Nevermind. We’re good. *fistbump*

    I’m trying to figure out how the Dawkins/PZed/IJoe heirarchy works though. Anyone got a good diagram?

    Can I be part of the wedgie squad? That’s like the brute squad right, but not quite so….brutish.

    microraptor@77:

    Come see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I’m being repressed!

    Dammit, I know I should have tried to catch that scimitar instead of ducking when that watery tart lobbed it willy nilly.

  49. tuibguy says

    Octopus is bad. Stranger octopus is more bad. This does not imply an endorsement of octopus. If you don’t get that, go away and learn how to think.