I have just learned that while I am thousands of miles away and unable to assert my authority in the home, the feminists are undermining my power. Radical feminists are sharing tips on how to open jars without a man. We have to nip this in the bud. I’m afraid I’ll get home now to discover the locks changed, and my wife laughing triumphantly inside while opening jar after jar with her feminine little hands.
What possible purpose do I have in this relationship if she’s no longer dependent on my massive masculine mitts? Feminism, you’ve gone too far!