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Maybe humanity deserves extinction, after all

Behold, the latest example of human stupidity and shortsightedness.

In small towns across America, manly men are customizing their jacked-up diesel trucks to intentionally emit giant plumes of toxic smoke every time they rev their engines. They call it “rollin’ coal,” and it’s something they do for fun.

An entire subculture has emerged on the Internet surrounding this soot-spewing pastime—where self-declared rednecks gather on Facebook pages (16,000 collective followers) Tumblers and Instagram (156,714 posts) to share photos and videos of their Dodge Rams and GM Silverados purposefully poisoning the sky. As one of their memes reads: “Roll, roll, rollin’ coal, let the hybrid see. A big black cloud. Exhaust that’s loud. Watch the city boy flee.”

These dumbasses think they’re being tough and rebellious, when they’re simply parroting conservative stupidity.

Aside from being macho, the rollin’ coal culture is also a renegade one. Kids make a point of blowing smoke back at pedestrians, in addition to cop cars and rice burners (Japanese-made sedans), which can make it dangerously difficult to see out of the windshield. Diesel soot can also be a great road rage weapon should some wimpy looking Honda Civic ever piss you off. “If someone makes you mad, you can just roll coal, and it makes you feel better sometimes,” says Ryan, a high school senior who works at the diesel garage with Robbie. “The other day I did it to this kid who was driving a Mustang with his windows down, and it was awesome.”

The ultimate highway enemy, however, are “nature nuffies,” or people who drive hybrid cars, because apparently, pro-earth sentiment is an offense to the diesel-trucking lifestyle. “The feeling around here is that everyone who drives a small car is a liberal,” says Ryan. “I rolled coal on a Prius once just because they were tailing me.”

I despair of humanity sometimes. If we make it that far, future generations will look back aghast at these idiots. I know there is something at least that keeps me going.

According to the Clean Air Taskforce, diesel exhaust is one of the country’s greatest sources of toxic pollutants and leads to 21,000 premature deaths each year, but even that won’t deter the coal rollers. “I’m not a scientist, but it couldn’t be too horrible,” Robbie says. “There are a lot of factories that are doing way worse than my truck.”

I’m not ready to die off yet, because I want to see these motherfuckers die first.

Comments

  1. madtom1999 says

    I think you might find those motherfuckers will be pushing that 21,000 figure skywards with their own lungs.

  2. Pen says

    In France (and possibly other European countries), their cars would be off the road. You have to be able to pass emissions tests and sometimes there are spot checks by cops on the road itself. It’s one of those things like passive smoking, you don’t get to do whatever you want when it affects other people. Write to your congressman (and good luck)

  3. says

    There’s a guy round here with an old 1.6L Golf diesel that says COAL ROLLER on the rear windshield. Those things were stinky when new, but even severely detuned probably isn’t going to be any worse than your average Malibu. Seems like hipster coal rolling to me.

  4. Crimson Clupeidae says

    They also like to do it to those of us who prefer to commute on bicycles.

    Immature shit weasels, all around, they are….. [no offense to shit weasels]

  5. Alverant says

    What do you want to bet that if anyone retaliated against these coal rollers, it would escalate quickly to firearms?

  6. says

    Pen

    In France (and possibly other European countries), their cars would be off the road. You have to be able to pass emissions tests and sometimes there are spot checks by cops on the road itself.

    Same in Germany. Just had to pass the bi-anual technical safety and exhaust check. My first thought was “how is this even fucking legal?” Then I remembered that the USA isn’t actually part of the developed west in many aspects

  7. says

    There are times I wish gods were real, so I could appeal to, say Zeus (or even asshole Thor) to blast or hammer these assholes into the ground.

  8. unclefrogy says

    I have not looked it up lately but I have been given a traffic ticket in in California for excessive emissions driving a gas engine car before. I would not want to chance it out here with one of those. Reminds me of the kids who like “burnin rubber” and doin donuts like tires don’t cast real money.
    It is nice of them to be out, no one like a closet Ass Hole.

    uncle frogy

  9. says

    @8
    There are similar regs in some US states (e.g., California and parts of Washington). But apparently these imbeciles have the ability to turn the “coal” on or off at will. I do wonder, though, what will happen when the first CHP or WSP officer gets smoked.

  10. PaulBC says

    Hybrids have been around for over a decade. They just noticed? Should I assume Teslas haven’t made it out there yet? (My own address must be somewhere way off in Fantasyland, but I often forget…)

    There are emissions laws in the US, not just Europe, and someone modifying their car like this and doing it intentionally is probably violating some other part of the vehicle code as well.

  11. anteprepro says

    God. Fucking. Damn.

    I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.

    (This hurts me especially, as a liberal Prius owner. Luckily, in my neck of the woods, I am not a rarity, while “rebellious” conservative diesel-spitting bullies are)

  12. tuibguy says

    He “did it” to a kid in a Mustang? How revealing.

    Not that there is anything wrong with that, of course, but I don’t think that he meant for it to come out that way. I am sure his buddies at the shop are giving him the gears over that one.

    But, really, isn’t a Mustang an All-American car? A small-chassis car powered by a V8 (most of the time – there are 4- and 6-cylinder Mustangs out there.)

    Doofus isn’t being politcal – he is just using politics as an excuse to be an asshole.

  13. Hatchetfish says

    IANAL, but as I understand there are some nationwide federal regulations about modifying engines, and particularly exhaust and emission control systems. They’re routinely shamelessly ignored and unenforced except in states with strict emissions and/or engine inspections, but they are there.

  14. blf says

    Interesting. In the article I read very recently about this bit of stooopidity (sorry, I don’t recall where I read it or I’d try to link to it) seemed to imply it is (mostly?) interstate(?) truckers who are doing this, which didn’t make a lot of sense to me: As far as I am aware, the industry is dominated by large fleets, which means regular corporate maintenance plus “productively” monitoring, so I couldn’t see how an individual driver who be able to get away with dubious maintenance and poor (I assume) fuel economy for long…

    However, this post of poopyhead’s sort-of clears that up. It’s not commercial truckers per se (at least when doing their job), but Cliven Bundy–type jerks.

  15. says

    “I want to see these motherfuckers die first”

    So, what are you going to do? Blog them to death? Or are you reconsidering your stance on guns? What’s the point of a cephalopod army unless they’re armed to the beak?

  16. says

    Re unclefrogy/#11, and ‘nice of them to be out’…

    Yeah, it’s funny, I was just thinking how lovely it is they’re doing this with licensed vehicles whose owners can be found, crowing about it in online contexts, for which there are logs…

    I mean, you want to be that deliberately toxically destructive, it’s nice to be able to have some names to attach to the asshattery.

    Oh. I drive a Prius, have just tried out some bicycle commuting (it’s a pretty long ride, but I think I’m gonna try to keep at it, notwithstanding it’s almost hard to get the calories it costs me for the same price as the gas; there are other benefits). Would like to think there’s not a lot of shit-fer-brains around here who’d pull that crap, but hey, if they do, I expect I’ll be taking down the license number. Dunno what the legal options are, but failing this, I guess there’s always social media might like to hear about it.

  17. Louis says

    But but for every particle of soot it’s less burned into that good ol’ greenhouse gas. And particulates reflect solar radiation…

    Coal rollers are actually helping to combat global warming!

    Okay, this is so not the whole picture, and barely accurate at best, but since when does that matter to these muppets? What needs to be done is the insertion of a counter meme that gets those ideas above across, perhaps with a “thanks for rollin’ coal!” coda.

    Well, there’s that or fatalistically realising that, in the words of Bill Hicks, we’re a virus with shoes. Which isn’t incredibly edifying, but hey, luckily isn’t the whole puncture either.

    Louis

  18. says

    Hatchetfish

    IANAL, but as I understand there are some nationwide federal regulations about modifying engines, and particularly exhaust and emission control systems.

    That’s the law in Germany, basically, and they get very angry with you if you think you could just ignore it, especially if you ignore it in a flipping the bird way.
    All modifications have to be checked and registered

  19. Kevin Kehres says

    My friends in the pulmonology community thank them. Full employment for all the treaters of lung diseases. They were getting worried — what with cigarette smoking being on the wane and all.

    These dumbasses don’t even begin to grok that they’re poisoning themselves.

  20. Andrew B. says

    Isn’t this basically what the Taliban does with girl’s schools? Poisoning people out of spite?

  21. aziraphale says

    We have emissions tests in the UK as well. Diesel cars built after 2006 have filters to stop particulate emissions. Of course some idiots are removing the filters – to improve performance, they say – but the authorities have made it clear that a vehicle that doesn’t have the filter will fail the test and be taken off the road.

  22. microraptor says

    The first time I saw one of these trucks, I thought the engine was on fire.

  23. howardhershey says

    Don’t worry. They seem to do this at a stop, so they must be inhaling some of it. They also probably think that smoking also makes them ” tough and rebellious”. After all, that is what the tobacco companies say. Or taking meth. After all, that what their drug dealer says. Or not wearing seat belts to rebel against the police. Or wearing pistols in their pants with the safety off like the NRA says they should. I call them “future Darwin Award winners”.

  24. says

    blf
    Even (indeed, especially) independent commercial truckers would be very unlikely to do something like this. It makes the engine burn more fuel, and trucking is not a high-margin business.

  25. says

    Erlend Meyer:

    So, what are you going to do? Blog them to death? Or are you reconsidering your stance on guns? What’s the point of a cephalopod army unless they’re armed to the beak?

    If you’ve paid attention to what PZ has said over the years, you’d know he’s not talking about doing anything, but sit back and watch as these people get older and die off.

  26. Kichae says

    “The other day I did it to this kid who was driving a Mustang with his windows down, and it was awesome.”

    That sounds like assault to me, frankly.

  27. =8)-DX says

    Reading the comments, my first worry was that this is actually legal in the US. Is it? #17 Hatchetfish seems to say not.

    In my country (CZ) you have to pass two-yearly emissions and other tests. Any truck doing that seen by police would immediately earn the driver a hefty fine and strikes on his (from the video, mostly dudes) license. Our police check for frickin’ backup headlight and signalling bulbs or excessive rust. Surely the US has strict vehicle regulations. C’mon!

  28. Alverant says

    #30 Could this be considered assault like spitting in someone’s face or blowing smoke on them when you’re puffing on a cancer stick? (OK I don’t know if that part is illegal, but it’s damn rude.)

  29. says

    Kevin:

    These dumbasses don’t even begin to grok that they’re poisoning themselves.

    I don’t care if they poison themselves. That’s not what this is about though, is it? It’s inflicting this shit on other people, pets, wildlife, and the environment. I don’t expect we’ll see the aggressive anti campaigning cigarette smoking receives, however.

  30. anteprepro says

    Erlend Meyer:

    So, what are you going to do? Blog them to death? Or are you reconsidering your stance on guns?

    You know what? Just go fuck yourself.

  31. says

    … oh, and re actual environmental and health impacts (also found via Wonkette)…

    See this. The soot is a carcinogen, and a significant global warming contributor.

  32. says

    “Wut’s this here switch fer Cletus?”
    “That’s fer Rollin’ Coal! Use to be folks hadda git up real close an hear me talk to see how fukin stoopid I was. Now I just mash that little sucker an everbuddy fer miles around kin know it.”

  33. says

    Okay, here’s what we do, we build a hybrid solar-powered Robosaurus that emits giant plumes of fresh glade plugins and also has a windmill on the back that can transform into a propeller to let it fly, and we eat these not-actually-crazy-but-certainly-dumb people. Or, you know, their vehicles. Pr…Probably their vehicles.

  34. twas brillig (stevem) says

    from an update on jalopnik:

    It is a violation of the [Clean Air Act] to manufacture, sell, or install a part for a motor vehicle that bypasses, defeats, or renders inoperative any emission control device. For example, computer software that alters diesel fuel injection timing is a defeat device. Defeat devices, which are often sold to enhance engine performance, work by disabling a vehicle’s emission controls, causing air pollution. As a result of EPA enforcement, some of the largest manufacturers of defeat devices have agreed to pay penalties and stop the sale of defeat devices.

    So the “coal rollers” individually, won’t be prosecuted, but it reads like the EPA will put an end to all the providers of the “coal roller” devices (i.e. Defeat Devices).

  35. a_ray_in_dilbert_space says

    Louis: “But but for every particle of soot it’s less burned into that good ol’ greenhouse gas. And particulates reflect solar radiation…”

    Nope. Not all aerosols are created equal. Soot contributes to warming by absorbing more light (decreased albedo). It is the sulfuric acid aerosols you want up in the stratosphere reflecting light like little mirrors–except that is only a short term fix.

    I am really, really starting to hate conservatives.

  36. Nick Gotts says

    The more I see of Erlend Meyer, the more he convinces me that yes, all gun fondlers are complete arseholes.

  37. Zeppelin says

    Well, if American conservatives keep this up we’ll get to the point where Yellowstone erupting wouldn’t just be cathartic, it’d actually improve the environmental contribution of the country. This isn’t “humanity”, it’s reactionary American culture at its finest. Fucking absurd.

  38. Louis says

    A Ray,

    But but black is the new white. I’m sure I read that somewhere.

    (You didn’t think I was serious did you? Am I going to have to get a sign? ;-) )

    Louis

  39. Louis says

    Nick,

    I can only disagree from the perspective that a complete arsehole serves a useful function…

    Louis

  40. gillt says

    Love the smell of napthalene in the morning.

    Seriously, exposure to polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons, especially in early development, is a huge source of heart problems…bradycardia, tachycardia, pericardiac edema, arrhythmia, looping defects…you name it.

  41. says

    There are laws in many countries that permit spot check by the police for vehicle emissions. Bad vehicles can be fined or even impounded. Not sure if I saw it happen in one of the south east asian countries or India or Sri Lanka. Some nations require annual emission check (Canada?) and a sticker to go with it. Unfortunately corruption stymies the effectiveness of laws in many countries. But in the USA…?

  42. Pen says

    So if it is illegal in the US, as so many of you have said, couldn’t you take down their license plate numbers and turn them in?

  43. microraptor says

    In theory. In practice it’s more likely that they’ll only get hit for it if they’re caught for something else at the same time, like running a red light or DUI.

  44. says

    Some nations require annual emission check (Canada?) and a sticker to go with it.

    I do not drive so I do not know very much about this, but I believe emissions and safety testing is handled provincially. Some provinces do not have anything, others only require safety tests be done when the vehicle changes hands, some annually or biannually. From what I see on Wikipedia only NB and PEI require annual safety testing, NS is biannual, but I do not see anything about emissions tests, just tests to make sure the vehicle is in working order and safe. BC and Ontario have biannual emissions testing but only for certain regions of the province such as the Lower Mainland and southern Ontario.

  45. a_ray_in_dilbert_space says

    Louis,
    My Intertube interface for my irony meter is broken from engaging dumbass good ol’ boys on line. And actually aerosols remain one of the biggest uncertainties when it comes to climate forcing. Clouds are the other.

    BTW, a good guide to the cast of characters taking part in the Heinous Fuckery being put on by Heartland in Lost Wages, NV:

    http://ecowatch.com/2014/07/08/climate-denial-goes-vegas/

  46. says

    It’s stupid, but I kind of understand a teenage boy getting back at another teenage boy by rolling coal. However, I don’t understand at all the many videos that coal rollers have posted of their friends, girlfriends, etc. putting their faces close to the exhaust pipe in order to catch a full blast in the face.

    What is that all about?

  47. Crimson Clupeidae says

    In the US, emissions laws vary wildly from state to state (raise your hand if you’re shocked by that) although there are federal EPA standards, as noted @39.

    CA has the strictest emissions laws and many states, particularly in the Midwest have practically nonexistent laws (and it shows, if my experience living in KS is any indication). Also, almost every state has exemptions for ‘classic’ vehicles, usually anything over 20 years old. One has to pay a bit extra to get a vintage license plate, but they are exempted from emission checks after that.

  48. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Here in Illinois, they check the the computers on later model cars. The computer on my ’97 probe is checked every two years. My ’95 probe isn’t checked at all, as it is too old to have computer diagnostics. Even when they checked the tailpipe, two repair tries at state certified emission mechanics failed to bring you up to a pass (I always passed easily and never needed any repairs), you would still get your permit.

  49. Rasmus says

    What is that all about?

    That video reminds me a lot of Russian Youtube videos. Perhaps it is the sort of thing that happens in crumbling empires when people in the poorer parts of the empire realize that the ruling classes have given up on them.

  50. says

    @ Tony ¤29: I just thought wanting somebody dead was a bit harsh. Having them watch their precious cars being crushed seems more appropriate. Or sucking their own tailpipe for a few minutes, take your pick.

  51. says

    What an impressively small-minded, hateful bunch they are.

    I wonder how they’d feel if they realize their descendants will be changing their names to avoid being associated with their murderous great-great-grandfather, and those ancient two-deos of him intentionally and gleefully fucking over the poison soup they’re now living in, to score some Toxic Masculinity Points (collect enough, receive your Get Out of Rape Free card!) and bully some people.

    Assholes.

  52. jimmyfromchicago says

    At least the truck nuts that rednecks liked to put on their pickups were reasonably harmless, even if the what-the-fuckery quotient was just as high.

  53. says

    Hey, I actually like red neck ornaments. They remove any doubt about where the idiots are, so the rest of us can give them a wide berth.

  54. says

    Erlend Meyer:

    I just thought wanting somebody dead was a bit harsh. Having them watch their precious cars being crushed seems more appropriate. Or sucking their own tailpipe for a few minutes, take your pick.

    PZ doesn’t want to outlive these hateful assholes. He wants to be around when they pass. He’s not advocating violence against them, or hoping they’ll get a life threatening disease.

    To put it differently: I think the US will be better off when the current crop of politicians who are homophobic or misogynistic bigots die off.

  55. anteprepro says

    See also: Toxic Masculinity (they may have taken the term a little too literally in this case)

  56. ChasCPeterson says

    yeah but all that smoke makes it harder to see yer Confederate-flag decal, and yer trucknutz.

  57. says

    It makes no sense to drive a full size truck just because you had to move your bed once in like 10 years. Seriously I have seen full size trucks dropped? What’s next a jacked up Metro? (Hangs head in disbelief) They already did.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqcWQmzWtVk

    Stupid is everywhere but I wouldn’t condone giving up on life or the human race.

  58. zer0 says

    Brilliant. Fucking Brilliant.

    Nice to know that these pricks have attained the moral depth of Captain Planet villains.

    I didn’t think it was possible to sink that low.

  59. says

    As someone who can’t help but identify as a Texan this subculture depresses me. Largely because diesel cars get better mileage, but most people will associate this with the diesel rather than the idiots driving the trucks, which I feel fairly certain will convince people that diesel cars aren’t worth the hassle.

    Also b/c texan, I’ve had this done to me several times, and I can personally vouch for how nasty, asshole, disgusting and dangerous it is.

  60. Hairhead, whose head is entirely filled with Too Much Stuff says

    GOOD OL’ BOY (GOB): Yew, stoopid LIE-berals wit’ yer “toilets” and “sewage systems”. Looky this hyar (GOB takes an enormous shit in his bed) Whaddayathink ‘a that, ya wussy?

    NOT-CRAZY PERSON (NCP): (Aghast) You do realize, don’t you, than more people throughout history have been saved by municipal sewage disposal and clean water than by antibiotics and medicine? And that the clearest sign of a working civilization is NOT shitting in your own bed, both literally and figuratively?

    GOB: Ah’m an American, a REAL ‘merican! Yew city-boy, I betchew take a dump over cho-ri-nated water. Whaddoyou do next? Wipe yer shitty ass and (waves hands prissily) wash yer hands?

    NCP: Well, yes, personal hygiene is an important part of healthy living—

    GOB: Healthy? Whaddayou want “healthy” fer? (Picks up the hellacious turd in his bare hands and sets it on the driver’s seat of his smoke-belching pickup truck) Ah’m a MAN, an’ I do whutever ah want, ‘thout no guvmint boorocrat tellin’ me whut ta do!

    NCP: You really want to go back to the days when half of your family could die in a week from cholera?

    GOB: (Wiggling his ass firmly, squelchingly into the pile of shit) Ah, that stuff just comes from th’ wetbacks. Us White Folks ‘re perfectly fine! (Steps on the gas and carves a donut in the road before roaring off into the pollution-occluded sunset.)

    NCP: (facepalm) (facepalm)
    (headdesk) (headdesk) (headdesk)
    (bodyfloor)

  61. microraptor says

    At least the truck nuts that rednecks liked to put on their pickups were reasonably harmless, even if the what-the-fuckery quotient was just as high.

    Hey, truck nuts were great.

    They were blatantly saying that, yes, the size of your truck is to compensate for masculine insecurity.

  62. says

    Nick:

    The more I see of Erlend Meyer, the more he convinces me that yes, all gun fondlers are complete arseholes.

    That’s not quite fair. Erlend is an all around asshole, flailing about on any subject, all while being thicker than the proverbial brick.

  63. atheist says

    @Lynna, OM – 8 July 2014 at 4:55 pm (UTC -5)

    However, I don’t understand at all the many videos that coal rollers have posted of their friends, girlfriends, etc. putting their faces close to the exhaust pipe in order to catch a full blast in the face.

    Seems like something sports fans might do, or like something you might do at a heavy metal concert. An over-the-top, theatrical ritual. Smoke as an elixir. The right-wing politics seem to be more than subtext, and there is an odor of nihilism.

  64. Matt G says

    I spend the summer surrounded by people like this. They may or may not have finished high school, and their development as human beings ended along with their education. They are basically children, and angry, resentful, insecure children at that.

  65. rogerfirth says

    These dumbasses don’t even begin to grok that they’re poisoning themselves.

    What are the chances a lot of them are also teabaggers who routinely vote against their own self-interests?

  66. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    *snicker* I work in what many people consider a very hazardous industry, the chemical industry (pharma leaning end). The industry makes a point, which is true, that we are safer on the job than at home. Why? At work, we have levels of protection not available at home, just as engineering controls (physical barriers and exhaust), and where that isn’t sufficient, PPE (personal protective equipment, like lab coats, glove, respirators, etc.) whereas at home, even something as simple as cleaning the toilet could in involve aerosols of materials that are hazardous. And then there are slips, trips and falls, misuse of ladders, and other things like lifting too much without mechanical aids that come into play, making home a hazardous place.
    No way in hell would be be breathing diesel exhaust on the job. To do so at home, emphasizes how on can be safer with good regulations than with freedom to be stupid.

  67. says

    Pen:

    So if it is illegal in the US, as so many of you have said, couldn’t you take down their license plate numbers and turn them in?

    Well, it’s technically illegal, but not illegal illegal. It’s not an arrestable offense, in other words– depending on the state, cops may not even be allowed to ticket for it.

    As long as we’re sharing, in NY you have to have your car inspected every year (including an emission test) and you can be ticketed for having an expired sticker. But not much more will happen besides that (of course, if you accrue too many tickets or fail to pay, you can lose you license, but oddly enough, not your car).

    *Not a lawyer, or an expert.

  68. says

    You don’t need *devices* to make a diesel do this: you just have to alter the timing and/or not maintain the SOB. It’s like the numptys who retard the timing on their Harleys so they make tons of noise (and incidentally run very poorly, have trouble going up hills, and burn more gas than a V6).

  69. HolyPinkUnicorn says

    @Giliell #8:

    Same in Germany. Just had to pass the bi-anual technical safety and exhaust check. My first thought was “how is this even fucking legal?” Then I remembered that the USA isn’t actually part of the developed west in many aspects

    Worse, most of Europe sells some very efficient–albeit compact–diesel engined cars. In the U.S. we’re limited to expensive TDI “Clean Diesel” Volkswagens or these crass oversized pickups.

    And I would gladly buy a diesel here if there were more practical choices. I have a compact gas pickup that is no longer manufactured stateside but now has an updated “international” version (basically sold everywhere but the U.S.) made overseas that has a pretty efficient diesel engine. Of course it’s not a properly manly American truck–too small, and no gigantic powerplant–but would be great for those of us who don’t care, much less have the room, for a twenty foot long beast of burden powerful enough to pull a house trailer.

    I get that these asshats are taking some pleasure in the hope that they piss off at least a couple of “liberals”–like that Holly Lobby twit was doing with the rifle-bible pic–but what does it say when all your political beliefs seem to boil down to one big game of trolling?

  70. says

    Without even a drip of sarcasm, I love living somewhere where the police routinely set up raids to breathalyse all drivers, and check tachographs, the weight of their load, and emissions for those who drive heavy loads.

  71. HolyPinkUnicorn says

    @Alexandra #79:

    Well, it’s technically illegal, but not illegal illegal. It’s not an arrestable offense, in other words– depending on the state, cops may not even be allowed to ticket for it.

    It may not even be statewide in a lot of places, just a county requirement. California only requires its biennial smog tests in certain counties and zip codes, though these are the ones that are the most populated/polluted–Los Angeles, Sacramento, San Diego, etc.

    But if these coal rollers are, uh, rolling their coal in the Southeast U.S. (i.e., areas with a lot of precipitation), they may have pretty relaxed open-air burn laws and dirty vehicles might get little-to-no scrutiny in terms of pollution.

  72. ck says

    @ekwhite,

    They’re not the only one inhaling that shit. In fact, they seem to take pride in making sure other people get a facefull of it. I can’t imagine many places don’t have road laws that couldn’t be used to take these idiots off the roads if the local cops cared enough to use them. Of course, adolescents rarely get a vehicle that expensive unless their parents are somewhat connected, so I’m betting the local traffic cops pretend not to see it.

  73. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    I still see a few cars with black smoke . But the real offenders are the school buses and the Pace buses.

  74. tbtabby says

    As if it wasn’t bad enough that we’ve got the Mises Institute declaring that it is their Constitutional right to drive drunk, now we’ve got these collective heads of knuckle intentionally polluting like Captain Planet villains just to give the middle finger to people they don’t like. I propose that anyone caught rolling coal should be forced to watch as their trucks are crushed in a hydraulic press, and then given the keys to a pink smart car which they must drive for a year.

  75. tbtabby says

    The Young Turks just covered this. Apparently another reason they’re doing it is because President Obama favors cleaning up diesel fumes. None of them understand the irony of their position: by automatically doing the opposite of whatever the liberals do, they are letting the liberals dictate what they think.

  76. says

    People have made reference to Captain Planet, but does anyone remember The Smoggies. aka Stop the Smoggies? These coal roller types sound just like the Smoggies, people who like to wallow around in their own industrial pollution.

  77. ck says

    @tbtabby,

    Are you sure you want to allow them that much power? I think they might be safer with a pink electric moped or scooter. If they make it through the year without doing something stupid to that vehicle, then maybe they can graduate to the pink smart car.

  78. lorn says

    In Florida the police in most jurisdictions can write you a ticket for excessive emissions. I had a small car where the transmission cooler line developed a pinhole that sprayed trany fluid onto the exhaust manifold when I accelerated hard. Driving along I smell oil but being a hoopdie I figure it is par for the course. Then I look in the rear-view mirror and notice that I can’t see any cars behind me for the smoke screen. I pull over realize I have no tools or other way to get the car to the tools, and the house is just a mile or so up the road so I figure I’ll limp back.

    Cop pulls me over and I explain the situation. I point out the pinhole explaining that the hole just opened up in the last mile or two. He’s real nice about it given that he had followed me for a good bit because I couldn’t see the flashing blue and red for the smoke screen. Even with our bumpers almost touching. I didn’t get a ticket because I think he felt sorry for working guy driving a POS.

    Interesting fact is that the US military has done research on using acetylene to stop diesel engines. The idea is that bigger, and more dangerous, vehicle bombs are likely to be delivered by diesel engine trucks. Heavy trucks that are hard to stop. As I understand it at about 12% of intake air acetylene causes the engines to fail as the cylinder compression causes the acetylene to detonate before the pistons are anywhere near TDC. The crank and other cylinders are all moving one way when the acetylene detonation forces it in the opposite direction. This tends to snap wrist pins, crank shafts, and piston rods. this turns an expensive bit of machinery into a boat anchor. In tests they found they could reliably destroy the engines in a very few seconds of they could get the acetylene into the intake air.

    Unfortunately the program hit a dead end when they were unable to figure out a way to reliably get sufficient gas into the intake air.

    I’m thinking acetylene tank in the back seat and a nozzle hanging out the back of your Prius, roughly in line with the hood of one of those trucks and …

    I was near a heavy diesel that threw a rod. Very impressive, downright scary sights and sound.

  79. says

    @ Tony #64:
    I see your point, and put like that it’s hard to disagree. I just don’t like the thought of wanting someone dead, even when it comes to assholes like this.
    Without any context this could be seen as simple vandalism, the kind you’d expect from a bunch of teens. And from an environmental point of view I seriously doubt this amounts to any real damage. But as a symptom of the attitude towards pollution it is despicable and I wouldn’t mind seeing this attitude die off.

  80. says

    I had to invest about 700 Euros to install a particle filter in my diesel car, because cars which exceed a certain level of fine particle emission are not allowed to drive in city limits any longer. This is the case in most German cities.

  81. mickll says

    Surely this at least should be a bipartisan issue, if not for the fact that they are trying to piss on the environment but the fact that their moronic behavior could kill a road user of any political persuasion?

    Some fucknuckle spews smoke because he sees a cyclist that offends his macho sensibility, he temporarily blinds a semitrailer driver, huge fucking crash and lots of death. Looking at these shitheads it’s a matter of time before this scenario plays out.

  82. grumpyoldfart says

    Reminds me of the good old days when the US Government was too afraid to tell its people that polio was spread from shit to mouth and blamed it on mosquitoes instead? And then used DDT to “solve” the problem.

    Check out this video:
    Spraying DDT for Polio in Texas 1946 Universal Newsreel
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uno_Bl60i40
    (and there are many more like it on You Tube)

  83. dianne says

    My first reaction to hearing about this was that if I were the evil dictator, I’d relocate everyone who did this to Florida. Coastal Florida. And require them to live the rest of their lives within 2 miles of the coast. The current coast. Oh, oops, problem solved. And by “solved” I mean “drowned.” In the water they produced with their own global warming. I know, I know, but it would limit the number of people who thought this sort of crap was a good idea.

  84. carlie says

    On the plus side, the particulates would actually mitigate global warming. Not that we’d notice, having already been dead from emphysema and asthma and lung cancer.

  85. azhael says

    A part of me feels a lot of pitty for these people. It can’t be fun to be that ignorant, that insecure, to live in a group that completely constrains your individuality and will condemn you if you do anything that doesn’t fit with what’s the expected norm. It has to be a misserable existence.
    Another part of me sees the fucking malice, the rejoicing about the harm they cause, the desire to inflict on others the missery that has been inflicted on them…and then i just think, fuck them, i hope they all get testicular cancer and their germ lines end with them.

    Idiocracy is coming people.

  86. Anri says

    …and here I was, feeling vaguely bad that the scooter I commute on gets only about 65mpg.

    *sigh*

  87. dianne says

    i hope they all get testicular cancer ….

    My first thought on reading this was “Why is azheal being so nice? Testicular cancer is one of the ‘good’ (curable) ones. Wish pancreatic cancer on them instead.”

  88. says

    I’m not sure how real this all is. I have no doubt that there are some jerks out there, but I live at the edge of Appalachia in a medium sized town in Southeastern Ohio and I have never seen a vehicle as described in the article. There are however a plethora of Priuses (Priui?) in the area. Everyday I see at least a dozen or more.

  89. azhael says

    My first thought on reading this was “Why is azheal being so nice? Testicular cancer is one of the ‘good’ (curable) ones. Wish pancreatic cancer on them instead.”

    I don’t necessarily want them to suffer, but i sure as fuck would love it if they all happened to become completely sterile.

  90. lindsay says

    Ronald Couch @102:

    Do a search of ‘rolling coal’ on Google Images or YouTube. It’s definitely happening somewhere.

  91. Rey Fox says

    I saw a pickup truck with twin smokestacks on it, but I’m too ignorant of automotive whatchajiggers to entirely rule out the possibility that they were functional and necessary somehow.

    (Then again, another data point: the truck was bright blue in color)

  92. says

    @lindsey 105:

    There are hundreds of millions of people in this country. The idea that there may be a few thousand who are assholes and willing to waste their money, I accept. I have serious doubts that it is any kind of a real thing involving (comparatively) large numbers of people.

  93. ajbjasus says

    Ronald Couch.

    I visited Arizona from the UK on business last year, and rented a small car to travel from Phoenix up to Sedona. It did the job perfectly well, and I drive many thousands of miles on crowded European roads, including autobahns were speeds are high. However, I have never felt as intimidated when driving, as I was by the enormous number of gigantic pick up trucks that seem to be the norm. It seems to me that this types of American has completely lost the sense of perspective about this. Most of them cannot need these vehicles for any practical purpose, and are oblivious (willfully, perhaps) about the environmental impact of them.There may only be a few coal rollers, but there are millions of unnecessary giant trucks in the US.

  94. says

    @90
    timgueguen

    does anyone remember The Smoggies. aka Stop the Smoggies? These coal roller types sound just like the Smoggies, people who like to wallow around in their own industrial pollution.

    I remember!

  95. NitricAcid says

    However, I don’t understand at all the many videos that coal rollers have posted of their friends, girlfriends, etc. putting their faces close to the exhaust pipe in order to catch a full blast in the face.

    Perhaps it’s inspired by the same thing that inspired the facial “money shot” one sees in some other kind of video…

  96. says

    @111

    That reminds me, the other day a motor bike or something went by and was waaaay too loud. I started thinking that it’s like some kind of exhibitionist fart fetish. These coal rollers seem to follow the same trend of showing off the same kind of thing…

  97. hackerguitar says

    It’s kinda sad. They don’t connect the dots that their beliefs are ultimately working against their own interests, and they can’t handle cognitive dissonance when their beliefs are questioned.

    But I’m still pissed off that they’re cavalierly poisoning the environment that I share. I ride a bike to work and have experienced this once or twice, often including epithets shouted out the window and being buzzed closely by the ginormous pickup. Knuckleheads is a good word for them….

  98. says

    @Ronald Couch, did you miss where I said this was common in the parts of Texas I’ve lived in? It’s not just popular in the small middle-of-nowhere farm towns, but the major cities as well.

    I will admit I didn’t know there was a *name* for it, but I’ve seen it, experienced it, and had to breathe their damned fumes.

    It’s not every diesel truck. But if the person driving said truck is under 35, you do not want to be stuck behind them. The few times I’ve grossly broken speed limits were when I would get stuck behind one of these jackasses and since I drove one of those “rice burner sports cars” they love to hate, it was worth the risk of a speeding ticket to not risk them blinding me on two lane roads.

  99. says

    Ronald Couch:

    There are hundreds of millions of people in this country. The idea that there may be a few thousand who are assholes and willing to waste their money, I accept. I have serious doubts that it is any kind of a real thing involving (comparatively) large numbers of people.

    Why does it matter if it’s large numbers of people (however many that’s supposed to be), or only a few thousand? That doesn’t change the fact that their actions are foolish and harm the environment.

    And do you have doubts that thousands are doing this, or do you still doubt that anyone is ‘rollin coal’? After all, in your first post, you expressed skepticism:

    I’m not sure how real this all is. I have no doubt that there are some jerks out there, but I live at the edge of Appalachia in a medium sized town in Southeastern Ohio and I have never seen a vehicle as described in the article. There are however a plethora of Priuses (Priui?) in the area. Everyday I see at least a dozen or more.

    This also seems to imply that you think your experiences are indicative of other places. Just bc you haven’t heard of or experienced ‘rollin coal’ doesn’t make it unreal. It’s just outside your experience. Humans screw up the environment in ways big and small every single day. ‘Rollin coal’ is just one more thing, and it’s hardly unbelievable.