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May 21 2014

Oh, no, I’m getting old!

It’s true…I haven’t the slightest idea who the king is!

30 comments

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  1. 1
    mrmisconception

    You don’t know who the king is?

    It’s simple, he hasn’t got shit all over him.

  2. 2
    Scr... Archivist

    If there is a Middle English version of this, I’d like to see it. I wonder how difficult it would be to read.

  3. 3
    georgelocke

    Isn’t knowing who The King is a sign that you’re getting old?

  4. 4
    richardelguru

    ic ne cunne wat thaere cnichtes spreche… (thaetes ynogh of thaet, Ed)

    Is that originally from Private Eye?

  5. 5
    Kevin Kehres

    I agree with #3. Elvis is still the King.

    Unless you’re talking about BB King.

  6. 6
    Konradius

    Since last year the Netherlands have Willem-Alexander as king. Does that help?

  7. 7
    jrfdeux, mode d'emploi

    Bloody peasants.

  8. 8
    Tony! The Queer Shoop

    Everyone knows Jesus Christ Mohammed L Ron Hubbard, our lord and savior, is King.

  9. 9
    blf

    You survived your 30th birthday.

  10. 10
    What a Maroon, oblivious

    Kevin Kehres, #5

    I agree with #3. Elvis is still the King.

    Unless you’re talking about BB King.

    Definitely Elvis.

  11. 11
    Trebuchet

    Siege engines. Needs something about siege engines. New-fangled trebuchets, or something.

  12. 12
    ambassadorfromverdammt

    Hey You Kings! Get those siege engines off my lawn!

  13. 13
    steve78b

    In my day we didn’t have no siege engines….. we got together and thowed rocks…. big ones….. uphill …… both ways….

    …..siege engines…… kings these days have it so easy……

    …harumph…….

  14. 14
    Al Dente

    Don’t you remember who you voted for to be king?

    Oh wait, you don’t vote for kings. Instead, they’re chosen by watery women tossing swords at the candidate.

  15. 15
    abusedbypenguins

    There is no king on this planet who can play better than BB King. Elvis is second fiddle.

  16. 16
    cgm3

    But I thought we were a narco-syndicalist commune!

  17. 17
    shadow

    Does he (the king) know the average velocity, in wing beats per second, of an unladen swallow?

  18. 18
    Lynna, OM

    I admit to having trouble with the long bow, so I’m old too.

    Eric Clapton is King.

  19. 19
    shadow

    Shouldn’t the weapon of Horde choice be the crossbow? Poop Innocent II declared it the weapon of Satan, after all….

  20. 20
    barnestormer

    If I were an actual person living in Europe in the Middle Ages, I doubt I’d be able to read Chaucer by any kind of light. Who would have bothered to teach me? Where would they get the time or a book to teach me out of? Maybe, if I were lucky, one of those traveling-performer guys would recite some poetry at the manor, and I could hang around the door until someone noticed me and whacked me on the head. Then, back to the field / kitchen / hay / whatever, maybe with a couple of songy words clattering around in my head.

  21. 21
    barnestormer

    On the other hand, I would know enough to see that strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.

    Supreme executive power derves from a manadate from the masses, not some farcical acquatic ceremony!

    kings are weird, eh? weird and clean.

  22. 22
    Pen

    Well at least you can flatter yourself that you’re an extremely privileged middle-ager if you were ever in a position to read Chaucer at all. One of the 0.5%, eh… Quit whining about your little problems then. Besides you’re probably doing it in French, the language of the oppressors, so we’re choosing not to understand you either.

    Signed – cheeky young peasant.

  23. 23
    jrfdeux, mode d'emploi

    #oldworldproblems

  24. 24
    playonwords

    Damn it lost the e-mail you gave

    Google UK is celebrating the birth of Mary Anning, thought you might like to know

  25. 25
    Trebuchet

    Google UK is celebrating the birth of Mary Anning, thought you might like to know

    As is Google here in the USofA.

  26. 26
    robertfoster

    Chaucer: artifice or verisimilitude? That was the topic for a term paper in English at my university. And we had to read the Canterbury Tales in Middle English. It haunts me still.

  27. 27
    felidae

    I remember:
    when “a fate worse than death” was not your hard drive crashing
    a “tranny” was a part of a car
    CocaCola could be used to remove rust from chrome bumpers and as a contraceptive
    A McDonalds hamburger was 15 cents
    The Republican Party believed in fiscal responsibility

  28. 28
    Vicki, duly vaccinated tool of the feminist conspiracy

    “The king is gone but he’s not forgotten.”

  29. 29
    Kimpatsu

    Yes, it’s originally from Private Eye.

    @PZ: I’m the King, so send me a chest full of gold and rubies, and your first-born, as tribute. In return I shall knight thee, so thou mayst take the bishops (to the cleaners).

  30. 30
    Ray, rude-ass yankee (now in HD-3D!)

    King eh? Very nice. And how’d you get that? By exploiting the workers! By ‘angin on to outdated imperialist dogma, in which the working classes…

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