I think Rob Ford must be my fault


Because, as we all know, I have so much influence on the Canadian electorate, and I keep making fun of Canada’s reputation for niceness, so they probably elected him just to spite me.

The latest account of Ford’s hijinks occurred right after his notorious softball interview with Jimmy Kimmel.

Ford is behind the wheel and hammered. One constituent he calls that night recalls Ford slurring his words.

The Star has heard audio of Ford and Bellissimo talking and both are slurring. (The Star has interviewed people who say it is nothing for Ford to down a 40-ouncer of vodka. The man who recorded the audio of Ford at Sully Gorman’s bar two weeks ago told the Star Ford’s ability to drink shots of tequila is “incredible.”)

Ford has two ways of communicating as he drives — his cellular phone and his Onstar device, a General Motors product that acts as a cellphone. During one call as he drives that night, Ford is recorded as saying the following about Jews, blacks and Italians:

“Nobody sticks up for people like I do, every f—ing k–e, n—-r, f—ing w-p, d-go, whatever the race. Nobody does. I’m the most racist guy around. I’m the mayor of Toronto.”

On a roll, Ford continues to spew invective that may be the worst published yet. At one point he makes a rude comment about his mother.

It goes on. It gets worse.

Wait…maybe it’s not my fault. We can blame Jimmy Kimmel!

For my part, if it will help, I’ll try in the future to avoid characterizing Canada as Mr Rogers’ neighborhood in real life, and try to remind everyone that the nation has its share of slimy assholes. For your part, Canada, could you at least get Ford off the road? Coked up drunk jerks shouldn’t be driving.

They can be mayor of Toronto, though.

Comments

  1. Al Dente says

    It’s not like Ford had any responsibilities, like being the political leader of a couple of million people.

  2. says

    I figure what’s scary about Ford isn’t just the stuff he’s said and done. It’s that:

    a) a guy who’d behave like this got elected in the first place, and

    b) far scarier still, he still has his supporters.

    I think people sometimes get this notion Canada’s like some North American version of Norway or something, and a cartoon version even of that–all social democracy and progressiveness. Truth is, we’ve thick belts of thick people who are every bit the suckers for sleazy ‘elect me to get big government off your backs’ demagogues as anywhere. Ontario had Mike Harris, Toronto has this clown, and, of course, the federal party in power for the past (winces) many years is essentially cut from the same cloth (though they’ve been pretty incremental about their program, reigned in the scary rhetoric, and implemented a pretty much draconian message control strategy so people barely even known what their government is doing anymore, so I’m not sure their whole marketing success quite says the same thing as does Ford’s…)

    …but Ford, yeah, you really gotta wonder. Guy’s a toxic mess, but he could say ‘those damn Prius-driving libs downtown are taking your money’ to the suburban belt, and presto, it’s give him the mayor’s chain. And there’s still people saying, oh, the media’s just out to get him, he’s one of us, and now the elite are eating him…

    … and I get to thinking, to anyone still saying that, if he’s really one of you, right, noted…

    … so can we assume you’re all bigoted, deeply dishonest cokeheads with a rather alarming fondness for power, a beyond tenuous grasp of the ethos of democracy, and some pretty alarming impulse control issues? We should probably clear this up. Just so I know how to react appropriately when I see any of you operating a car or heavy machinery. (Or if you run for office.)

  3. sigurd jorsalfar says

    @A J Milne – When it comes to his supporters saying the media is just out to get him, I’ve found it helpful to remember that even the Toronto Sun, the one Toronto paper most likely to support a guy with Ford’s political views, is reporting the same basic facts about Ford’s misbehavior.

  4. Brad says

    As loyal Daily Show viewers, my wife and I love Crack-Smoking Toronto Mayor Rob Ford the same way we loved Herman Cain, and look forward to their upcoming campaigns.

  5. dukeofomnium says

    I didn’t know that there were people who still make fun of Italians.

  6. baryogenesis says

    @4 Sigurd — An employee at a shop where I get my morning coffee usually offers me his Sun to read. One morning he was in a particularly bad mood and didn’t have a paper. It was the first day the Sun’s editorial writers decided they could no longer back Ford, and since he was a loyal supporter, he had thrown the paper in the trash.

    Every person who is/was a Ford supporter has simply repeated a variation of: “I don’t care what he does with his personal life, he has saved the city money.”

  7. plainenglish says

    As baryogenesis offers, many folks who read the Sun could give a hardly a shite about Ford’s self-destruction. PZ feels Ford is among a larger group he refers to as slimy assholes, a wonderfully rich image that offers more and more as it is pondered more deeply. PZ also very sensibly adds that, “Coked up drunk jerks shouldn’t be driving.” (a car, a family, a city, a country…)
    We don’t exactly deify those attracting the media lights but we definitely use them to play with ourselves, to mock and snigger, to wow and wobble over. Ford is real blessing overall because he is mockery of all woo regarding our politicians. I like to see him in a photo shaking Stephen Harper’s hand because it reminds me that the garden definitely needs planting. Not pointing at Ford for this but if we take a look at how our tax money is spent on ‘bomb-profit’ wars (the latest fiasco that Canada celebrated yesterday was over Afghanistan and the noble service there ) while our half-decent health system falters and our education system looks more and more like a big chicken factory, then Ford does not seem really that odd to me. In fact, he seems like a crack where a wee bit of light gets in. (Don’t you just love old Leonard Cohen?)
    But like most hapless fools who have fallen into excess in any public manner, Ford is simply kicked at and mocked. It is so painful to look under the surfaces of things that we gleefully embrace the carnival of denial. Gawd is always standing close by with an empty offering plate full of the Prozac of titheing. Ford is a human wreck that insists on hurtling along toward destruction. Rehab will not save him because it is not only drugs that are killing him…. well, they are revving death along for sure. But addiction is fed from within…. Anyway, thank-you, Rob Ford. Your show is in what season now? Happy to know you are at least off the roads. And Myers, if you say another word about dear dear Mr. Rogers who was my TV friend, I’ll meet you at the Canadian border for pistols at ten paces.

  8. sigurd jorsalfar says

    @10 baryogenesis – But that shop employee wasn’t really trying to deny the basic facts any more, was he? Because even the Sun is reporting them and has abandoned Ford. All that people like that shop employee have left is to say they support Ford in spite of the facts. There will always be people like that. I doubt there are enough of them, however, to put Ford back in office in October. But we’ll have to wait and see.

  9. plainenglish says

    As baryogenesis offers, many folks who read the Sun could give a hardly a shite about Ford’s self-destruction. PZ feels Ford is among a larger group he refers to as slimy assholes, a wonderfully rich image that offers more and more as it is prodded and pondered more deeply. PZ also very sensibly adds that, “Coked up drunk jerks shouldn’t be driving.” (a car, a family, a city, a country…)
    We don’t exactly deify those attracting the media lights but we definitely use them to play with ourselves, to mock and snigger, to wow and wobble over. Ford is real blessing overall because his foibles are very real amongst all the woo out of the mouths of our politicians. He is walking-dead and smiling. I like to see him in a photo shaking Stephen Harper’s hand because it reminds me that the garden definitely needs planting. And what of our other famous politicker, the Righteous Harphead of Evangelicals? If we take a look at how our tax money is spent on ‘useless’ wars (the latest fiasco that Harper celebrated yesterday was over Afghanistan and the noble service there ) while our half-decent health system falters and our education system looks more and more like a big dumb chicken factory, then Ford does not seem really that odd to me. In fact, he seems like a crack where a wee bit of light gets in. (Bless old Leonard Cohen.)
    But like most fools with money who have fallen into excess in any public manner, Ford is simply kicked at and mocked. It might be too painful for most of us to look under the surfaces of things. We gleefully embrace the carnival of denial. FUCK that crack-head! Hope he fucking kills himself and his Brother! And Gawd is always standing close-by with an empty offering plate full of the Prozac of titheing. Heavenly Father, speak to Rob;s heart, Lord… Convict him, Father. Ford is a human wreck that insists on hurtling along toward destruction. Rehab will not save him because it is not only drugs that are killing him…. well, they are revving death along for sure. But addiction is fed from within…. Anyway, thank-you, Rob Ford. Your show is in what season now? Happy to know you are not traveling or undergoing the public stocks (late night TV). And Myers, if you say another word about dear dear Mr. Rogers who was my TV friend, you will meet me at the Canadian border for six-guns and ten paces… As He said,
    “When I say it’s you I like, , I’m talking about that part of you that knows that life is far more than anything you can ever see or hear or touch. That deep part of you that allows you to stand for those things without which humankind cannot survive. Love that conquers hate, peace that rises triumphant over war, and justice that proves more powerful than greed.” Dear dear Mister Rogers. I stand on guard for thee. Shame on you, PZ. Stop taking Percocet!

  10. blf says

    What’s Stephen Harper’s excuse?

    Canadian?
    (Runs away real fast — those attack moose are scary…)

  11. shouldbeworking says

    Attack moose are bad. If you live in a house made of word, you better watch out for our attack beavers.

  12. Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    @dukeofomnium

    I didn’t know that there were people who still make fun of Italians.

    Sure. They’re called the French.

    I like to think that at least some of the ability of Ford to not get thrown in jail for 7 years is due to more rational incarceration policies here, and some of his supporters’ resistance to dropping Ford like a hot rock is due to a reasonable separation of ability to do a job from ability to navigate one’s personal life. These are liberal views, if not exactly progressive. The suspicion that we make too many on the job decisions based on irrelevant off-the-job factors is probably correct: but we have to make our corrections to that tendency using some evidence and reason. It will be interesting if there is a constructive discussion about that in Toronto (or has already been – I’m a few thousand km away and have better things to read than “Guy smokes crack, film at 11″).

  13. HappiestSadist, Repellent Little Martyr says

    Dammit, I came here to get away from thinking about the embarrassment of a mayor in my city.

    I still find it darkly funny that months ago, City Hall stopped being permitted as a place for school field trips, having been deemed “unsafe”.

    Ford having addiction issues is one thing. He’s ill, and I sincerely hope he can get better. And I say this as someone who despises him. But that he’s got a long history of incompetence, avoiding work at all, hiring in the scummiest people on Earth, doing actual damage to the city with his bigotry and damaging the professional reputation of the city, he should have been gone long ago.

  14. Francisco Bacopa says

    Can Rob Ford adopt Justin Bieber? They’d be a perfect father and son.

  15. plainenglish says

    apologies for double-post…. first post went to the ether for a time so I reposted but not without fiddling with the text again… I am sorry, sorry for being sorry and sorry about our failing Ford. I am also sorry for taking such a long time to say sorry. (I am mailing an apology to the Conservatives at the university too so that they can publish my regrets. Damn, this being Canadian is not a simple matter… If I lived only an hour south, I could just buy me a rifle. (sorry for TH

  16. HappiestSadist, Repellent Little Martyr says

    Francisco Bacopa: Apparently Ford got mad at Bieber at a club in town a while ago when Biebs teasingly asked him if he had any crack to spare.

  17. twas brillig (stevem) says

    2nd last thing I heard about the CrackMayor is that he was revoked of all his powers while left with just the title of Mayor (ie Mayor In Name Only). Did that get reversed by his re-election?
    .
    [snark follows] I drove through Toronto a few weeks ago, and tried to get through it as fast as legal to avoid bumping into his CrackPipe. He says he in going into rehab; if so, I can understand crackwithdrawal producing anger management issues, with all of his other buffoonery being symptoms of crack smoke. Booze is an other issue…but Crack gotta be worse.
    I mean, really, Canucks are so nice while Ford appears to be a thug; gotta be drugs, amirite? So, if he was always a thug, Canucks are too nice to elect a thug. it must be drugs that turned nice-Rob into thug-Rob. I blame PZ! He even admitted it, in the title of this OP. Guilty as confessed. … ^_^ /snark
    .
    Seriously, ignore the snark section, I really am curious about the “mayor in aname only” issue.

  18. tariqata says

    @twas brillig:

    Seriously, ignore the snark section, I really am curious about the “mayor in aname only” issue

    Apologies, you’ve triggered my local government nerd. In Ontario, the Municipal Government Act and the City of Toronto Act (we’re special, so we get our own legislation ;P) specify the powers that belong to municipal councils and the powers that belong to the mayor. Powers can be delegated: for example, certain powers that belong to council under the COTA were delegated to the mayor, like the power to appoint the chairs of standing committees of council.

    We don’t have recall legislation and it’s very, very hard to remove a mayor or council member from power except through elections, but in November, in response to Ford’s admission (finally) that he had used crack, Council voted to censure him by revoking the powers that belong to them but that had been delegated to the mayor. We have a “weak mayor” system which means that most of the mayor’s statutory powers are more ceremonial than practical, so the revocation of the Council-delegated powers reduced a lot of Ford’s ability to influence the city’s day-to-day governance (although in practice, the motion they passed also specified that Council wouldn’t change the existing committee chairs, for example).

    Ford hasn’t been re-elected yet – our next election will be this October – but until the revelations of the past week, I at least had a nasty feeling that he had a very good chance. The more information that comes out about his bigotry and his association with very, very nasty people, the better; the cognitive dissonance among his core supporters is strong, but every little bit is going to chip away at it. Although as a Torontonian, my main response to Rob Ford at this point is this: *pulls paper bag over head*

  19. kayden says

    Oh Canada! Can’t imagine he’ll be reelected. He needs to get treatment for his obvious addictions and let Toronto go back to its efficient, boring Mayors.