Perhaps you are a sociopath with no social skills whatsoever, but you have decided that you love some other person, and unfortunately, that other person is marrying someone else. They must be mistaken, you think. They’ve made this big public commitment to a different person than you, but you just know that you are the love of their life. What to do? WikiHow provides a detailed, step-by-step procedure on how to stop a wedding, including everything from the prenuptial approach, in which you have a
calm and collected talk with the bride and groom, to the optimal place to sit for maximum effectiveness when you raise your hand and say
I OBJECT during the ceremony.
And then you get to
Enjoy life with your stolen bride or groom.
The only sensible part of the advice is in Step 7 of
Before the wedding, where it says
Recognize a lost cause when you see one. Yeah, I generally think the time to recognize that is when the other person announces that they’re getting married.
Further creepiness: if you are spurned in your efforts,
wait until after the honeymoon and send an email or text asking to meet up. No, please don’t.
There are about 16 steps in this list. I’m imagining some hopeless person printing out the whole thing and checking items off one by one as they plan to disrupt someone else’s life.