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Feb 28 2014

Friday Cephalopod: So, I failed the test, like, twice. Now what do I do?

sepia-officinalis

I tried to take the cephalopod intelligence test.

James Wood, a teuthologist (cephalopod scientist), imagined creating an intelligence test for humans, by an octopus:

“So the octopus thinks: ‘All right. I’m going to make an intelligence test for humans, because they show a little bit of promise, in a very few ways.’ And the first question the octopus comes up with is this: How many color patterns can your severed arm produce in one second?”

Turns out humans only get two tries, and now I have to type this out with my tongue. Awkward.

13 comments

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  1. 1
    moarscienceplz

    It’s only a flesh wound.

  2. 2
    Daz: Experiencing A Slight Gravitas Shortfall

    now I have to type this out with my tongue. Awkward.

    Try this.

  3. 3
    Jafafa Hots

    How many color patterns can your severed arm produce in one second?”

    Two.

  4. 4
    Cuttlefish

    Ha!

  5. 5
    Amphiox

    It would be unfair to give the vertebrate only two tries. We should get 10. One for each finger.

  6. 6
    Callinectes

    “Teuthologist” is one syllable away from Dara O’Briain’s “Toothyologist”.

  7. 7
    Louis

    I took the test twice too and am having no problems typing this at all.

    They don’t call me “clever dick” for nothing, you know…

    …WHAT? WHAT? Look, I had to make that joke before someone else did. It was begging to be made. You can’t give a boy a set up like that and expect him to not make the appropriate, guild approved, union mandated dick joke. There’s no pleasing some people.

    Louis

  8. 8
    Daz: Experiencing A Slight Gravitas Shortfall

    There’s no pleasing some people.

    Now, if you can manage Ctrl Alt Del…

  9. 9
    Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :)

    There’s no pleasing some people.

    …if they still aren’t pleased after someone who can type with his tongue…

  10. 10
    chigau (違う)

    Feed me Seymore

  11. 11
    anuran

    For fewk’s sake what do you think you should do?
    Regenerate your arms and try again.

  12. 12
    Athywren

    So I haven’t taken the test yet, being a little laceration-shy after attempting the test on my finger last week with the aid of a ceramic mug, but I’ve been looking at the pretty pictures and… I’m wondering…
    http://media.eol.org/content/2010/12/10/06/14710_580_360.jpg
    Am I alone in thinking this guy needs a top hat?

  13. 13
    blf

    I thought poopyhead had many multiple tentacles / legs / arms, horns, some scales, breathedbelched fire, and has several Zebrafish in his ear (a few too many Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters earlier in the year he decided to start using a Babblefish). And he can’t outsmart an octopus?!??

    Sounds about right…

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