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The War on Christmas is escalating to violence!

Fox News has been promoting this strange new sin: the failure to say “Merry Christmas”. Some woman who was raising money for the Salvation Army — an organization for which I have absolutely no sympathy, but that still doesn’t warrant assault — was struck for saying "Happy Holidays".

Kristina Vindiola said she was ringing a bell outside the Walmart to raise money for the charity when a woman took exception to her saying "Happy Holidays," KNXV-TV, Pheonix, reported Tuesday.

"The lady looked at me," said Vindiola. "I thought she was going to put money in the kettle. She came up to me and said, ‘Do you believe in God?’ And she says, ‘You’re supposed to say Merry Christmas,’ and that’s when she hit me."

The Christmas War is taking an interesting turn. The Christians are going to battle it out among themselves over who is the most pious, while the atheists stand by the side deploring the whole silly shenanigans. But then, that’s what Christians have done best, historically.

Comments

  1. Ichthyic says

    Followers of the Abrahamic religions have ALWAYS been their own worst enemies.

    it’s just too bad they won’t isolate themselves to coliseums or cage matches, and leave the rest of the world out of it.

  2. Dick the Damned says

    I guess “the lady” is a Republican. She must’ve thought the Sally Ann charity collector was part of the atheist wing of the Salvation Army.

  3. moarscienceplz says

    Here’s the first comment on the news piece:

    The bell ringer for the Salvation Army–a Christian organization–should have been fired for not saying, “Merry Christmas.”

    Wow.

  4. peterh says

    “Followers of the Abrahamic religions have ALWAYS been their own worst enemies.”

    And, as often as not, our enemies as well.

  5. ekwhite says

    One of my neighbors wished me happy holidays this morning. I didn’t know I was supposed to assault him instead of saying Happy Holidays back to him.

    Darn it, I missed my chance.

  6. Al Dente says

    Congratulations, Bill O’Reilly, your made-up, make-believe “War on Christmas” has inflicted its first casualty.

  7. says

    So this woman, saying Happy Holidays was taking the “Christ out of Christmas” (I assume that’s part of the reasoning) and consumerist industrial complexes like Wal Mart aren’t? Typical tactic of those in power like those at FOX- re-direct attention away from the real enemies onto the less powerful.

  8. Alverant says

    And of course the cops won’t do anything because they don’t want to be seen as “oppressing” a christian “defending” the faith.

  9. robro says

    The War on Xmas has officially jumped the shark now. The woman who was hit should sue Fox and everyone on Fox who has promoted this balderdash.

  10. imthegenieicandoanything says

    Be careful and recall the truth – slightly modified to the incident under discussion – that Frodo cautions Sam with while in Mordor about the hatred between orcs:

    “That IS the spirit of [the religious]; and it has spread to every corner of it. [The religious] have always behaved like that, or so all the tales say, when they are on their own. But you can’t get much hope out of it. They hate us far more; altogether and all of the time. If those two had seen us, they would have dropped their quarrel until we were dead.”

  11. ck says

    It’s funny that what gets called “politically correct” these days used to go under a different name not that long ago. It was called being polite and considerate of others.

  12. says

    I wonder what that “lady” thinks is the root and origin of the word “holidays.” Or perhaps it was “Happy” that upset her?

  13. ChasCPeterson says

    Peace talks are needed immediately. Perhaps we can reach a compromise: ‘Merry Holiday’ seems reasonable.

  14. csrster says

    Paul: I think the quotes you put around “lady” should probably have been extended to the word “thinks”.

    Anyway, if “Merry Christmas” was good enough for Jesus, it should be good enough for us.

  15. says

    I don’t get this.

    Unless she’s a Catholic, why would the violent femme prefer being reminded that the bloody day got its stupid name because they celebrated an RC Mass rather than because certain days were considered ‘Holy’????

  16. Thumper: Token Breeder says

    Police said they reviewed surveillance footage at the store but they were unable to come up with enough evidence to arrest the accused attacker.

    Uh-huh.

    What exactly is the Christian objection to “Happy Holidays”? Holiday is a sort of modernised portmanteau of “Holy Day”. So what you’re really saying is “Happy Holy Day”. So what is their deal? I can’t help thinking that some basic knowledge of etymology would cure this whole bullshit situation.

  17. robinjohnson says

    Oh man, Christmas is rallying. If we’re going to win this war, we need STRATEGY, people! I suggest gross commercialisation and sideling of the religious aspects of the festival in favour of pre-Christian pagan imagery, so that the first thing people associate with Christmas is having a good time with their loved ones, coniferous trees, and colourful baubles. Heck, we could even create some conventiently distracting, openly imaginary figurehead with some quality so ridiculous it can’t possibly be taken seriously, like a herd of flying reindeer or something. I mean, it might be a while before places like Walmart fell for it, but we want to win, don’t we?

  18. says

    btw did you know that the mass got its name because everyone thought “Hooray! It’s over!!”?
    It comes from the phrase “Ite, missa est” (basically the priest is saying “Fuck off you bastards I want my supper!”)

  19. Usernames are smart says

    Too bad for the crazy, violent woman, but but Betty Bowers is America’s Best Christian. Oh well, maybe she can be #2.

    Matthew 5:44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

    Nothing in there about smithing those who say “Happy Holidays” so smite away!

    Matthew 5:22 But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.

    Win again! Crazy did have a cause: Salvation-Lady’s not saying the correct “greeting”! Also, nothing about violently “correcting” someone about Xmas.

    Checkmate, Athiests!!!11</sarcasm>

  20. U Frood says

    Surely she should have been hit for wearing that pagan Santa hat while taking advantage of the Christmas holidays.

  21. Acolyte of Sagan says

    …The Christians are going to battle it out among themselves over who is the most pious, while the atheists stand by the side deploring the whole silly shenanigans. But then, that’s what Christians have done best, historically hysterically.

    You’re welcome.

  22. Thumper: Token Breeder says

    @robinjohnson #24

    I think you just won the thread. Can we have a monitor confirm?

  23. Louis says

    I am faced with a moral quandary. On one hand I have my intellectual and moral distaste for violence of any kind. On the other hand I have my schadenfreude/emotional satisfaction at a Sally Armyist getting a slap, which, sorry, amuses me on a base, probably testicular, level. On yet another hand (it’s an orgy) I have to deplore the actions of a sanctimonious godster, especially when those actions descend to petty violence over pointless trivia. What to do, what to do? I think I’ll go with BOOOOOOOO!

    Louis

  24. wcorvi says

    “…battle it out among themselves over who is the most pious….” Exactly so. I know what god likes, and he likes EXACTLY what _I_ like. He don’t like Happy Holidays, or Happy Christmas, or Merry Holidays.

    It reminds me of Muslims bowing on their prayer rugs, each one trying to chant louder than their neighbors, so god hears them best. And faster, and more in rhythm, so god likes them better.

  25. chigau (違う) says

    wcorvi #33

    It reminds me of Muslims bowing on their prayer rugs, each one trying to chant louder than their neighbors, so god hears them best. And faster, and more in rhythm, so god likes them better.

    [citation needed]

  26. Larry says

    This is like the firing on Fort Sumpter that started the Civil War! We’ve moved from a cold War on Xmas to a hot one.

    Gather your childrens and pets, people, and get ‘em down into your prepper’s cellar. Make damn sure them guns are locked and loaded. The shit storm is hitting the fan.

    Vaya con dios, amigos. May we all meet on the other side.

    Wolverines!!!

  27. says

    So what you’re really saying is “Happy Holy Day”. So what is their deal?

    It doesn’t remind people that Christianity is the one true religion. So, it’s clearly discriminatory against Christians.

  28. hexidecima says

    give all of the Book theists pointy sticks and rocks, corral them in the Middle East and let them find out whose god is best.

    At one point, I threw donations in the kettle. I’m guessing that many people of different and no faiths did so and thus “happy holidays”. Unfortunately, the SA are just as odd as the rest of the theists, if not more so.

  29. Wylann says

    I totally get the conflict Louis describes.

    I go out my way (not so much anymore, but when I lived in the Midwest) to say happy holidays specifically instead of merry xmas. Yes, I’m a bit of a real life troll, I suppose. I did, however, wish my friends happy holidays in all sincerity. It was the random strangers that I did it to for effect that supplied the most amusement. The brief look of confusion about whether they should be upset that I just said something nice to them, but not the ‘right’ magic words, usually over ridden by their social pressure to be polite.

    I’m a bad man for enjoying it as much as I did. I’ll say three hail FSMs and eat a dozen noodles for penance.

  30. mnb0 says

    “‘You’re supposed to say Merry Christmas,’ and that’s when she hit me.”
    Obviously a case of self-defence. It were the evil athiests who started the War on Christmas. It can only be won if all devout christians close the ranks, so traitors like this false christian from Salvation Army deserved to be hit. “Happy Holidays” is a direct attack on the heart of all true christians and thus on Jesus Christ, his Father and the Holy Ghost themselves.
    [/sarcasm]

  31. WILLIAM says

    Those of us who have been around for awhile know that “Happy Holidays”, and “Seasons Greetings” have been secular substitutes for Merry Christmas since at least the 1950s if not much earlier. These idiots on Fox act like this is something new. Another example of the appalling degree to which Fox has lowered the collective IQ of Americans.

  32. ChasCPeterson says

    I say it’s time to deploy the War On Christmas shock troops:
    “Blessed Solstice!”
    “Merry Midwinter!”
    “Yolly Yule!”
    “Ka-rezzy Saturnalia!”
    “Bodacious Brumalia!”
    (many more to choose from here)

  33. robro says

    richardelguru @#25

    It comes from the phrase “Ite, missa est” (basically the priest is saying “Fuck off you bastards I want my supper!”)

    Ah, so like the Lyle Lovett song, “Church”:

    I listened to what the preacher said
    He said, “To the Lord let praises be
    It’s time for dinner now let’s go eat”
    We’ve got some beans and some good cornbread

  34. Wylann says

    Chas, when you’re ready to go nuclear, just pull out the bible and quote it at them.

    Jeremiah 10, I believe, is the part that gets right to the heart of the matter.

  35. jnorris says

    robinjohnson, at #24, I bet a carbonated, caffeinated, sugary beverage could be very effective in spreading the terrorist campaign you envision.

  36. Alverant says

    And in NJ the cops are looking for a pair of christians who tried to burn down an Atheist sign. Notice how all the violence in the “war on christmas” is coming from the religious side?

  37. robster says

    Like their nasty god fantasy and baby jesus bile, these fornicating godbots are best left alone, they can stew with each other in a simmering soup of profound ignorance while playing Let’s Pretend. These Christians are getting like those silly muslims who are hell bent on terminating each other with various unpleasant options. There wouldn’t be a problem if they picked on each other and left the rest of us alone.

  38. Al Dudaz says

    I wonder what magic Charles Dickens would have weaved with this little vignette of urban festivus.

  39. kaboobie says

    William @43

    I certainly got used to saying and hearing “Happy Holidays” when I was a kid in the ’70s. It’s probably because I grew up in a town with a large Jewish population (and one side of my family is Jewish), so it was simply considered the polite thing to say rather than assume one way or the other.

  40. Thumper: Token Breeder says

    These Christians are getting like those silly muslims who are hell bent on terminating each other with various unpleasant options. There wouldn’t be a problem if they picked on each other and left the rest of us alone.

    As far as I’m concerned, that’s still a problem.

  41. David Marjanović says

    Jeremiah 10, I believe, is the part that gets right to the heart of the matter.

    10:1 Hear ye the word which the LORD speaketh unto you, O house of Israel:
    10:2 Thus saith the LORD, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them. [Other translations have "terrified" instead of "dismayed".]
    10:3 For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe.
    10:4 They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not.