Nov 04 2013

I support Movember

You go, guys, but…what can I do to support a charity fundraiser for men’s health issues when the gimmick is to grow a moustache? It’s not as if I can grow a second one. I guess all I can do is urge all of you poor barefaced men to join Movember, and let your face do its manly thing.

But then, there’s the dilemma — I have to tell you to not shave it off in December, so you won’t be able to do it again. What’s with all these guys with naked lips, anyway? Don’t you get cold? How do you filter plankton?


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  1. 1
    chigau (違う)

    So, PZ.
    My friends who do Movember shave their existing facial hair and grow it anew.

  2. 2

    Pffft, Mister has a mustache, and he shaved it so he can grow it again to help out. Do the right thing, PZ.

  3. 3
    PZ Myers

    I wouldn’t need Movember, though. It would be back in a week.

    I could do it four times!

    Except that Mary would scowl at me. My face needs the coverage.

  4. 4

    But, but the Red Sox just shaved off their facial hair this morning! I’m confused now.

  5. 5
    chigau (違う)

    The SO had his prostate ‘shaved’ earlier this year, so I’ll be giving a little extra.

  6. 6

    But remember, no comb unders. And watch out for suspicious appearances of moustache wax on the shopping list.

  7. 7

    I cannot shave mine off, I am not gifted in the facial hair area and it took a lot of time to get it to this glorious state.

  8. 8

    The rules, however, require “just a moustache . . . no beards, no goatees”. And you have to shave it off and start from scratch on November 1, PZ. The rest of the world has a three-day head start.

  9. 9
    Dave, ex-Kwisatz Haderach

    This is discrimination against the facial-hair challenged! I am no less a manly-man just because I can’t grow a decent lip ferret.

  10. 10

    Well, the next time someone shows up here and claims that all the support for breast cancer is sexist, ’cause who cares about the men and prostate cancer, I guess I’ll just point them here, and show what the guys are doing.


    The SO had his prostate ‘shaved’ earlier this year, so I’ll be giving a little extra.

    Yikes. I’ll donate a bit more, too.

  11. 11
    PZ Myers

    OMG, no beard? You mean I’d have to walk about for a whole month with my jowels indecently bared to innocent eyes? Impossible. That’s a crime against humanity.

  12. 12

    Cross-posted from Pharyngula reprobates #440:

    Best in beard: facial hair goes chin-to-chin in Germany (video):

    Bearded participants from 20 countries compete in the 2013 world beard championships near Stuttgart in southern Germany on Saturday. Around 200 competitors compare facial hair across four main categories with 18 sub-categories, including moustaches, chin beards, whiskers and ‘trendy’ beards — meaning the hair has been shaped by a razor or clippers, without hair dryers, hair spray or beard polish

    Beard polish?
    Degreasers, beer removers, and bird ejectors all make sense, but polish?

  13. 13

    How do you filter plankton?

    Did you just call me fat?

  14. 14
    Shahar Goldin

    I’m growing out my mustache and waxing it. I hope to have a handlebar by December.

  15. 15

    OMG, no beard? You mean I’d have to walk about for a whole month with my jowels indecently bared to innocent eyes? Impossible. That’s a crime against humanity.

    Yes. It’s a shame, isn’t it? The first couple of years had no problems with beards. I’ll be looking to throw money at someone when I have enough spare change, since I refuse to do a mustache without a beard.

  16. 16
    The Vicar (via Freethoughtblogs)

    …oh, goody. Just what we need, another attempt to “show support” without doing anything practical, just like a certain other initiative.

    Donating money? Good (if it actually goes to something worthwhile).

    Growing a mustache? Hey, why don’t you pray, too? It’ll be about as effective, and you can do it year-round.

  17. 17

    Well, the next time someone shows up here and claims that all the support for breast cancer is sexist…

    How can it be sexist when men can get breast cancer too? See here.

  18. 18

    How can [breast cancer support] be sexist when men can get breast cancer too?

    Ah, but you see, Realz Manzly Menz™ don’t get mammy-wambly icky booby cootie diseases…

  19. 19

    PZ, a few years ago my dad faced the same dilemma. He had gone thirty six years without a razor.

    Thirty six years. His beard was nearly twice as old as I was. Hadn’t had a shave since before he met my mother. His brothers and my older cousins claimed to have forgotten whether he had a face under there at all.

    When he shaved it off, I felt like a beloved family pet had passed. But he was sponsored over a grand for charity, so, there’s that!

  20. 20

    Apropos of nothing much, alyxward‘s story@19 reminded me of a similar-ish story: A bit more than a decade ago, I had c.20 years-worth of hair (which, by that time, was roughly waist-length) cut off. For charity (Amnesty International in Ireland, to be specific). Including a matching contribution from my employer, it raised considerably over 1000€.

    (I undoubtedly had a beard at the time (albeit not a 20 year one!), but now don’t recall if it was involved, or its, or its residents, opinion…)

  21. 21

    I can never shave mine off. She Who Must Be Obeyed straightened me out on that one. Once, years ago, I had voiced a passing interest in going beardless. SWMBO objected, and in her own patient way she explained her view on things. “Well, for one thing you have kind of a weak chin…”, and she went on like that for what seemed an endless time, explaining patiently the several very good reasons why I would be better off with the beard. The subject has never been brought up again.

  22. 22
    Rip Steakface

    My job doesn’t permit facial hair of any noticeable length, so I cannot participate.

    My facial hair is incredibly average anyway. I cannot create the glorious face-forests that some men have, but it also grows in incredibly quickly and is much darker than other men my age. I may be able to grow one as I get older, but I’ll have to wait and see for that.

  23. 23

    The dictionary suggested bowels, dowels, jewels, rowels, towels and vowels instead of jowels. None of them seem to fit well in the sentence.

  24. 24
    Thumper: Who Presents Boxes Which Are Not Opened


    Shave the beard, keep the ‘stache! You could style it amusingly for added effect.

    At least you have the option of joining in. I can only do sideburns and a goatee; my “mustache” is just a little patch of coarse fuzz above each corner of my mouth.

  25. 25

    Forget plankton I filter BEER!!!!!!

  26. 26

    I would love to participate in this… but I simply cannot grow proper facial hair at 27. When I try, it takes at least 2 weeks to grow anything substantial, and even then my face looks like it has a case of the mange. I’m afraid that I must remain relatively bare-faced… it’s for the best.

  27. 27

    Does it have to be just a mustache? Can I grow the full beard instead? Just a mustache makes me look like a Bollywood villain (read “70s porn star” for those of you not familiar with Bollywood).

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