Freethoughtblogs is gearing up to raise money for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society by begging you, our readers, to donate in the name of our group. It’s easy: just go to my donation page, click on the little donation box, and type in a great big number. Or a little number if you can’t afford much — every penny is gratefully received.
Now you should do it because you just want to contribute to cancer research, but then maybe you already make charitable donations that you personally care about, so why should you bother to donate to our cause? So we’re also offering personal inducements that might persuade you to kick a few bucks our way. Greta is dying her hair if we raise $1000. Ed is fishing for ideas — go inflict some horrible ones on him. We’ll probably bring on a few more FtB people with their own little forfeits and sacrifices.
I hate to say this, but they are mere pikers. I snort in their general direction. I can do better than that.
What, you may ask, will I do if we raise certain specified sums of cold hard cash? An exotic tattoo, perhaps? Jump out of an airplane? Sing an embarrassing duet with one of the other FtBers?
Nay. I shall not stoop to such trivialities. I shall be bold.
If we raise $2500, I shall explain oncogenes to you. Right here on the blog. I shall write the post while wearing a pirate hat, even.
If we raise $5000, I shall explain tumor suppressor genes to you. I might even be naked, wearing only the pirate hat, when I write it.
For $10,000, I’ll host a Google+ Hangout with select individuals to discuss molecular mechanisms of cancer. Clothed, to everyone’s relief. While drinking Scotch (moderate amounts, of course).
$10,000 is our group’s ambitious goal. If it looks like we might significantly exceed it, I’ll open the floor to further suggestions, along the lines of the above ideas, that might provide more incentives.
There is also a rumor that another network might be joining this fundraising effort as well, if it happens, we should also discuss what special task I ought to undertake if we raise more money than they do. But more about that later.