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Sep 18 2013

FtB will Light the Night!

Freethoughtblogs is gearing up to raise money for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society by begging you, our readers, to donate in the name of our group. It’s easy: just go to my donation page, click on the little donation box, and type in a great big number. Or a little number if you can’t afford much — every penny is gratefully received.

Now you should do it because you just want to contribute to cancer research, but then maybe you already make charitable donations that you personally care about, so why should you bother to donate to our cause? So we’re also offering personal inducements that might persuade you to kick a few bucks our way. Greta is dying her hair if we raise $1000. Ed is fishing for ideas — go inflict some horrible ones on him. We’ll probably bring on a few more FtB people with their own little forfeits and sacrifices.

I hate to say this, but they are mere pikers. I snort in their general direction. I can do better than that.

What, you may ask, will I do if we raise certain specified sums of cold hard cash? An exotic tattoo, perhaps? Jump out of an airplane? Sing an embarrassing duet with one of the other FtBers?

Nay. I shall not stoop to such trivialities. I shall be bold.

If we raise $2500, I shall explain oncogenes to you. Right here on the blog. I shall write the post while wearing a pirate hat, even.

If we raise $5000, I shall explain tumor suppressor genes to you. I might even be naked, wearing only the pirate hat, when I write it.

For $10,000, I’ll host a Google+ Hangout with select individuals to discuss molecular mechanisms of cancer. Clothed, to everyone’s relief. While drinking Scotch (moderate amounts, of course).

$10,000 is our group’s ambitious goal. If it looks like we might significantly exceed it, I’ll open the floor to further suggestions, along the lines of the above ideas, that might provide more incentives.

There is also a rumor that another network might be joining this fundraising effort as well, if it happens, we should also discuss what special task I ought to undertake if we raise more money than they do. But more about that later.

18 comments

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  1. 1
    F [is for failure to emerge]

    Ed? Mohawk. Dyed.

  2. 2
    =8)-DX

    Aw, PZ writing naked? The number of times I’ve read this blog naked (on the loo, in bed)… seems an almost kindred feeling. Sadly I don’t own a pirate hat, but I’ve worn my share of headscarfs while reading.

    Getting interesting, I’m going to consider donating..

  3. 3
    Dutchgirl

    Finances have recently gone from ‘not bad’ to ‘yikes!’, so I’m not able to contribute as this time. I’m still hoping to read all about oncogenes, though, so I hope those that can, do.

  4. 4
    marcoli

    Done! This blog makes me a better person.

  5. 5
    Leo Buzalsky

    Or…you can forget about FtB and donate to a local team if you have one.

  6. 6
    Leo Buzalsky

    @5 Err… a local Foundation Beyond Belief team, specifically.

  7. 7
    Callinectes

    If we hit fifteen grand I want a Google hangout where you explain the molecular mechanisms of cancer as you speculate occurred in trilobites.

  8. 8
    Gregory Greenwood

    If we raise $5000, I shall explain tumor suppressor genes to you. I might even be naked, wearing only the pirate hat, when I write it.

    A naked squidly overlord? Now, now PZ – we have talked about what happens when you overstimulate the Horde like that; mass cracker desecrations, public expressions of fealty to Cthulhu and the Elder Gods, widespread mockery of delusional religious beliefs, and the uninhibited bruising of precious man fee-fees will inevitably ensue…

    … so carry on then.

    Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn.

    ;-P

  9. 9
    Jadehawk

    poo, can’t donate via paypal. I got money in that account, but not in the bank account. will have to wait a bit then.

  10. 10
    didgen

    OK, you can have my birthday present money.

  11. 11
    Sili

    What will it take to get you photographed in a see of kittens?

  12. 12
    Sili

    *sea, even.

    Unless your local bishop has a cattery.

  13. 13
    dianne

    How much for a video of you explaining why Jak2 inhibition doesn’t treat MPD as well as bcr-abl inhibition treats CML, with reference to what the actual driving mutation of MPD is, wearing a pirate hat (other clothing at your discretion)?

  14. 14
    dianne

    What about you explaining the genetics and driving mutations of pancreatic cancer while wearing a bikini?

  15. 15
    francesc

    ” If it looks like we might significantly exceed it, I’ll open the floor to further suggestions, along the lines of the above ideas”
    Would you explain oncogenes to… let’s say… Ray Comfort?

  16. 16
    smhll

    When I read this “Clothed, to everyone’s relief. While drinking Scotch…” my inner imp suggested “in a kilt”.

  17. 17
    chigau (違う)

    Explanations should be presented like that A Cappella Science guy.
    or at least Gilbert and Sullivan

  18. 18
    infraredeyes

    Donated.

    And, as per Jadehawk, you’ll prabably get more if you accept Paypal.

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