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Sep 16 2013

Bug off, Ramachandran Lyer

Every day this idiot sends me examples of his “science”: I just created a filter entry specifically for Ramachandran Lyer to automatically trash his spam. It was entertainingly stupid for a while, but it’s gotten to be a bit much. For instance, just now:

Behind the ear there are eight veins, these veins has direct connections with uterus. When these veins are tuned with tip of the finger, will generate a vibration in the uterus that produce more eggs.(MW p-765) this in Sanskrit is called matri. Since it is attracting the vibrations from eight sides viz1) East, 2)South East,3)South, 4)South west, 5)West , 6)North West, 7)North and 8) North East, the vibrations are notified as ashta dik Bhujas. In Sanskrit these are mentioned as 16 Amino Acids, scribed on a copper plate. It is worshipped as the wife of universe (Aryaman) A diagram is drawn on a plate
There are 3 types of toxins that is responsible for miscarriages.
1) long Nero toxins, 2) Short Nero toxins and 3) Cardio toxins. In Vedas it is identified as head of a cattle like, Horse, Goat and camel. These toxins will affect the ion in protein, and eat away the electron the centre of the seed, thereby preventing that from taking minerals from the mother’s blood, so that the seed dissolve automatically, without life.

Dear god. I’ve got work to do, and I’ve got zombie-brained twits pounding on my door and babbling word salad.

37 comments

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  1. 1
    Rip Steakface

    There are 3 types of toxins that is responsible for miscarriages.
    1) long Nero toxins, 2) Short Nero toxins

    Nero was a tremendous asshole, I’m sure, but I’m not sure that’s reason to call him a toxin that persists in the bodies of humans today. Or short.

  2. 2
    Lars

    Do long Nero toxins relate to short Nero toxins in the same way that long drinks relate to short drinks?

  3. 3
    Inaji

    Um…no. No, I can’t cope with this much idiocy on only two cups of tea. Nope.
     
    Who moved the crate of Quantumn Tomatoes™? We need them to toss at this person.

  4. 4
    barry21

    Do nero toxins play the fiddle as the uterus burns?

  5. 5
    prae

    That is kinda fascinating. I couldn’t come up with such lunacy even if I tried.

  6. 6
    Pierce R. Butler

    A little Nero patch behind each ear – the contraceptive breakthrough we need so much!

  7. 7
    LykeX

    These toxins will affect the ion in protein, and eat away the electron the centre of the seed, thereby preventing that from taking minerals from the mother’s blood, so that the seed dissolve automatically, without life

    The discussion on glossolalia is over here.

  8. 8
    Inaji

    Pierce:

    A little Nero patch behind each ear – the contraceptive breakthrough we need so much!

    :snortle: Too bad Contraceptive Nero™ can’t work wonders for males.

  9. 9
    David Marjanović

    Wow. Fractal wrongness.

    And then the spelchequer ran over it!!!

  10. 10
    george gonzalez

    Yeah, I get e-mails from a guy that points me to some page where some witnit hat solve major conumdrums like the mass of the electron, quantum gravity, and a bunch of other things that have been puzzles for a century or more. And the guy that thinks that the Sun has a surface. Sure beats Buzzfeed as entertainment.

  11. 11
    Dave, ex-Kwisatz Haderach

    That’s… just… so much worse than wrong. It boggles the mind.

  12. 12
    aziraphale

    “Cardio” is clearly a typing error for “Caligula”.

  13. 13
    Inaji

    aziraphale:

    “Cardio” is clearly a typing error for “Caligula”.

    +1

    I think perhaps you’re a bit more Crowley than Aziraphale. ;)

  14. 14
    Chengis Khan, The Cryofly

    I think it is one of your students. Keep an eye on the silent one sitting in the dark corner.

  15. 15
    Trebuchet

    Perhaps the filter should automatically forward his e-mails to the Nigerian guy in the previous post. They’re made for each other!

  16. 16
    jnorris

    I am a male and I get nothing when I scratchy myself behind my ear. Am I doing it wrong or do my eight veins terminate elsewhere? Do I even have eight veins behind my ears?

  17. 17
    Carlos Ribeiro da Fonseca

    “Nero was a tremendous asshole, I’m sure”

    He probably wasn’t, or at least not more than your average roman emperor. He did rebuild Rome after the fire, and there’s no actual evidence that he had anything to do with it. Fun fact: even today, the portuguese word for fire, “fogo”, derived from the latin “focus”, means not just “fire” but also house or home (and the interwebs tell me that the spanish “fuego” can also have that meaning).

    What he had was, to put it mildly, a distaste for christians, and since most if not all current accounts of him were written or “revised” by christians…

    But he was very likely short, by today’s standards at least.

  18. 18
    F [i'm not here, i'm gone]

    Proposed mechanism is teh awesomes. What a universe he lives in!

  19. 19
    Doug Hudson

    For a second I misread the category of the post as “Kwoks”, and I thought, my god, there is more than one of them?

    On topic, living in a world of one’s own creation must be nice, but I’ve never been able to maintain the necessary level of self-deception and/or ignorance necessary to do so. Darned reality keeps getting in the way.

  20. 20
    montanto

    So what was his point, nibbling your lover’s ear prevents pregnancy?

  21. 21
    sk3pt1c

    This man needs to be scanned immediately for evidence of stroke or tumor. That was nothing but word salad!

  22. 22
    R Johnston

    Someone should hire this man to rewrite the Republican Party platform. It would mark a great increase in both the coherence of the document and the scientific validity of the document’s claims about human reproduction.

  23. 23
    Daz: Experiencing A Slight Gravitas Shortfall

    Do nero toxins play the fiddle as the uterus burns?

    I believe they play a Lyer…

  24. 24
    bastionofsass

    I wonder if he explains what do you need to do to get the uterus to produce eggs, so the vein tuning will cause it to produce more.

  25. 25
    Rich Woods

    In Sanskrit these are mentioned as 16 Amino Acids, scribed on a copper plate.

    I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that these inscriptions do not accurately represent molecular structures.

  26. 26
    Sastra

    1) long Nero toxins, 2) Short Nero toxins and 3) Cardio toxins. In Vedas it is identified as head of a cattle like, Horse, Goat and camel.

    Ah, Hindu Science!

    We already know we have all Truth in the Vedas. Thus, we only need to de-code the sacred language to reveal how Nature works, for metaphysics supports the material world and shows us how to study it properly. Look for correspondences and use reason and intuition together: this is a more holistic approach. Modern science is only now catching up to ancient wisdom.

    Iow, not only a crank — a religious crank. This is the nonsense word-salad of spiritual transcendence translated into a language we can analyze.

    I think Trebuchet in #15 is on to something. But do attach a little note telling each “scientist” that the other guy seems to be proving him wrong and needs to be set straight. We certainly don’t want them teaming up.

  27. 27
    Enkidum

    Didn’t someone once figure out that in every breath you take, you breath in molecules that were also breathed in by a Roman emperor (and, I believe, a dying Roman emperor’s last breath at that). So that might be one way for the Nero toxins to enter the body.

  28. 28
    AJ Milne

    Sastra/#26:

    We already know we have all Truth in the Vedas. Thus, we only need to de-code the sacred language to reveal how Nature works, for metaphysics supports the material world and shows us how to study it properly. Look for correspondences and use reason and intuition together: this is a more holistic approach. Modern science is only now catching up to ancient wisdom.

    It’s almost like there’s a script out there, somewhere. You know those cute Markov-chain based generators that ‘compose’ generally grammatically correct if not particularly coherent text. Dump any source text in, and it gives you new blocks o’ text, suitable for mocking up page layouts, or whatever else mischief might occur to you…

    The script is like that one, but in this one you dump in an allegedly holy text, and out comes the ‘all of modern science can be found within these ancient verses’ thing. And sure, this version of the script runs in human brains, but otherwise, pretty similar same deal.

  29. 29
    Sven

    Format it with multicolored text on a black background, and you’re approaching TimeCube levels of silliness.

  30. 30
    sojourner

    You know, I am a H.S. dropout, and I recognize the goofiness of it. He must be a charter member of the Flat Earth Society.

  31. 31
    Callinectes

    Speaking of spam, a fell into a phishing trap and some bot or other got a hold of my e-mail password. I wouldn’t have fallen for it if the service I use hadn’t been playing up the security to a ridiculous degree recently (so that worked well). It was only for fifteen minutes while I ran around getting my passwords changed more difficult than it should be these days) but in that time it sent a load of spam e-mails to everyone in my contacts list. So if you got one, or several, I apologise. And realise that I’m probably in your spam filter now. Hooray!

  32. 32
    WhiteHatLurker

    @aziraphale

    “Cardio” is clearly a typing error for “Caligula”.

    No, I’m sure it was intended to be Claudius toxins. Caligula’s real name was Gaius. And Gaius toxins sounds silly.

    The term “amino acid” was coined in the Vedas? Which one? Why Cu plates?

  33. 33
    birgerjohansson

    Ramachandran: “….the vibrations are notified as ashta dik Bhujas”
    ???????????

    Glossolalia thread, David Marjanovc:
    “FINALE FINALE EUROPACUPFINALE FINALE FINALE EUROPACUPFINALE FINALE FINALE EUROPACUPFINALE”

    Much better!

  34. 34
    Thumper: Who Presents Boxes Which Are Not Opened

    How do veins behind the ear have a direct connection with the uterus? And in Sanskrit, the points of the compass are 16 amino acids inscribed on a copper plate along with some sort of diagram; said copper plate then being named Aryaman and being worshipped as the Wife of the Universe? Really?

    TEH STOOPID! I CANZ NOT TAEK IT!

  35. 35
    Dog Almighty

    Uh oh, someone hasn’t taken his medication.

  36. 36
    Nick Gotts

    Monitor note: Please avoid saying or implying that irrationality is a result of untreated psychiatric illness: people dealing with such illness have enough to cope with. Thanks.

  37. 37
    LykeX

    Indeed. What this guy hasn’t taken is a course on how to write so other people can understand what the fuck he’s talking about.

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