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Aug 28 2013

[Lounge #432]

This is the lounge. You can discuss anything you want, but you will do it kindly.

Status: Heavily Moderated; Previous thread

676 comments

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  1. 501
    CaitieCat, getaway driver

    rq: Well, shiver my linguistic timbers, I didn’t know that. Most of my linguistics teachers were Soviet-trained Slavs of various origins (Ukrainians, Russians, a couple of Poles), and it never occurred to me to question their assertions that Latvian and Lithuanian were just offshoots of the Slavic group, rather than the other way around. Thanks for the new learnin’. :)

    I wish there had been Internets when I was in school – well, there was ARPANet, and I did hang out on FidoNet, but there was no WWWeb, and assertions like these would have required a physical trip to the library to correct, and knowledge that something was hinky in the understanding bone to have noticed enough to merit a physical trip to the library.

    I fail. :(

    Anyway, meds are kicked in now, thank the good pharmers who came up with Oxy-allkindsofthings.

    Someday, I should take a picture of the meds I take in a day. Maybe later in the month, when the poor-people drug plan kicks in, and I can actually get them all. I think I could probably reasonably measure the total medication parts in grams, rather than milligrams.

    Today, I will take: 600mg of ibuprofen; 40mg of oxycontin; 20mg of oxycodone and 1125mg of acetaminophen; 30 mg of cyclobenzaprine (muscle relaxant); 40mg of cipralex (anti-depressant); some amount I can’t remember of oestrogens and estradiols; and, after I see my doctor on Tuesday, I will add 36 mg of methylphenidate extended-release (ADD), and 200mg of celecoxib (Celebrex; anti-inflammatory) to replace the ibuprofen. So not quite grams, but something like 1.5g of active ingredients in meds daily by the end of the week.

    It makes a rather tidy little mountain of pills, when piled up.

  2. 502
    Giliell, professional cynic -Ilk-

    Catie Cat
    OK, you win.
    Mr. always laughs about the handfull of pills I regularly take, but apart from the Thyroxin it’s minerals and stuff.

    rq
    Well, my old machine was supposed to last a few years longer and the money I had put aside is nowhere enough to replace it. But I’d go crazy (and I really mean that) if I didn’t have one. Making something is a good way for me to remind myself that I’m not a useless waste of skin.
    *sigh*

    +++
    And a just so story:
    At the wedding on Friday there was another family with kids. Two boys a few years older than mine. They simply went to the table where we’d put the girls’ paper and crayons and pencils and helped themselves. Since it didn’t cause any problems I didn’t say anything although I find it pretty rude. If my kids behaved like that I’d tell them to go and ask for permission to use other kids’ stuff. Today I found that on one of the blocks one of the boys had written “We vote for the Libertarian Party*”. I thought it fitting.
    *The party name is Free Democratic Party, but they are the Libertarians

  3. 503
    SQB

    FossilFishy, I’m so sorry for your loss.

  4. 504
    Lynna, OM

    Ah, this is funny (in a dark way). Remember all the Republican moaning over the decision to bomb or not to bomb Syria? The main component was “President Obama has to go through Congress to get authorization!”

    So, Obama decided to go through Congress to get authorization. And then this happened:

    President Obama is abdicating his responsibility as commander-in-chief and undermining the authority of future presidents. The President does not need Congress to authorize a strike on Syria. — Rep. Peter King (R-N.Y.)

    There are also a few Republicans touting the “bombing is not enough” line. So I guess they want the President to take sole responsibility for invading Syria as well.

    What a clusterfuck. In the meantime, Assad’s troops are busy moving all the military equipment into schools and suburban neighborhoods.

  5. 505
    David Marjanović

    O hai!

    Good news:

    1) The comments are screwed up exactly when I don’t have time to comment anyway!
    2) There’s a huge fucking canyon under the ice from central Greenland to the Arctic Ocean! That’s good news because it means that meltwater is drained instead of standing there and lubricating the ice on its way to the sea.

    No bad news so far :-)
    (Except that I’m late reviewing an important manuscript.)

    *large pile of hugs*
    kthxbai

  6. 506
    Lynna, OM

    Cancer research? Or failure to research?

    http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v483/n7391/full/483531a.html

    Excerpt below:

    … clinical trials in oncology have the highest failure rate compared with other therapeutic areas. Given the high unmet need in oncology, it is understandable that barriers to clinical development may be lower than for other disease areas, and a larger number of drugs with suboptimal preclinical validation will enter oncology trials. However, this low success rate is not sustainable or acceptable, and investigators must reassess their approach to translating discovery research into greater clinical success and impact.

    Many factors are responsible for the high failure rate, notwithstanding the inherently difficult nature of this disease. Certainly, the limitations of preclinical tools such as inadequate cancer-cell-line and mouse models2 make it difficult for even the best scientists working in optimal conditions to make a discovery that will ultimately have an impact in the clinic. Issues related to clinical-trial design — such as uncontrolled phase II studies, a reliance on standard criteria for evaluating tumour response and the challenges of selecting patients prospectively — also play a significant part in the dismal success rate3….

  7. 507
    chigau (違う)

    Facebook poisons everything.

  8. 508
    Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought

    Hah, thanks for giving me something I already despise to blame, chigau.

  9. 509
    CaitieCat, getaway driver

    あなたが真実を話す。

    (for the non-Japanese speakers: “You speak the truth.”)

    I don’t trust Facebook, at all. Were it not for my sister only posting pictures of my only niece on Facebook, I wouldn’t even have the pseudonymous account I do have there. The bits of it that leak into other places I frequent don’t make me feel like I’m missing much; to me, it seems a lot like MySpace, but I’m a cranky old Luddite who doesn’t even own a mobile phone, so, y’know, get off my lawn, I shake my cane at you, and so on.

  10. 510
    chigau (違う)

    Every once in a while I get the notion that I should join Facebook, ’cause EveryoneElse™ is doing it.
    Recent events should keep that notion down for a looooong time.

  11. 511
    Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought

    When FTB comments went down the other day, I regretted for a moment that I wasn’t on Pharyngula facebook group to ask what was going on and get my daily dose of pharyngusnark.
    Yeah. Not gonna happen.

  12. 512
  13. 513
    Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought

    Let Garfunkel and Oates make everything better.

  14. 514
    SQB

    From way back: TAL’s One-Day Band.

  15. 515
    Giliell, professional cynic -Ilk-

    I’m sitting right here with you in the “I hate FB” corner.

    Cute kids story:
    #1′s letter of the week is A, so they had to draw 10 things that start with A. One of the things she drew was an Alicorn. I wished I could see her teacher’s face…

  16. 516
    Socio-gen, something something...

    Ahoy, the Lounge! *waves* Long time, no “see”!

    I’ve decided to try delurking again, now that I have internet at home — though we’ll see how long that lasts with the new semester: 5 classes, including one that’s completely online (and which I hate after just one week) and Astronomy (which is less pretty stars and more math than expected), joined 2 new groups on-campus, ended up on two committees of orgs off-campus, and in my “free time,” I’m studying for the GRE and working on applications for grad school. Fun times….

    I can’t even begin to catch up, so I’ll just offer general congratulations to those with good things happening, and sympathies with *comfort option of choice* to those experiencing difficulties and/or losses.

  17. 517
    chigau (違う)

    Hi, Socio-gen.
    I’m going shopping.
    Do you need anything?

  18. 518
    Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls

    I finally got my computer so it would get to the log-in window just before dinner last night. One of those “Apple improved the concept since first rolled out” moments.

    The Redhead’s parent’s left after a two week visit this morning. They have to get back for their own doctor’s appointments. Redhead is sad. Just fixed her a fried egg, ham slice, Munster slice, lettuce, fresh tomato slice and mayo sammich for lunch.

  19. 519
    Giliell, professional cynic -Ilk-

    HI Socio-gen

    Chigau
    You’re going shopping? But it’s quarter to ten on a Sunday night!

    +++
    For a laugh:
    So, it’s election time in Germany and tonight is the one and only TV-debate between Merkel and Steinbrück.
    Merkel decided to be Very Patriotic™ and wear a necklace in the national colours.
    Only that she managed to put it on the wrong way ‘Round and is now proudly showing her support for Belgium

  20. 520
    Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls

    Only that she managed to put it on the wrong way ‘Round and is now proudly showing her support for Belgium

    *snicker*

  21. 521
    chigau (違う)

    Giliell
    We’re driving in the Tardis.

  22. 522
    Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought

    Giliell,
    I thank you and Merkel for giving me the best laugh today.

  23. 523
    Socio-gen, something something...

    Hi chigau! Oh, only everything. Only four more days until my financial aid overage comes in, though. It’ll be a nice change from peanut butter sandwiches. :)

    Hi Giliell!

    Only that she managed to put it on the wrong way ‘Round and is now proudly showing her support for Belgium

    Whoops! Well I’m sure Belgium will appreciate that.

  24. 524
    Giliell, professional cynic -Ilk-

    Whoops! Well I’m sure Belgium will appreciate that.

    I’ve only been to Belgium twice (if you don’t count driving through). They didn’t strike me as deserving Merkel.

    Chigau
    In that case: remind me to open the letter with the birthday-invitation three weeks ago

  25. 525
    Nick Gotts

    Lynna@506,

    Here’s a completely unrelated story, except for being about clinical trials.

    I was recently invited to take part in a clinical trial for a possible treatment of a variant of heart failure – as a member of a control group with hypertension but no known heart problem. It was a pretty demanding trial: exercise stress tests, MRI scans – and somewhat unnerving, two imaging procedures requiring the injection of radioactive material, with an assessed additional lifetime cancer risk of 1 in 1,010 (which seemed oddly precise, without any confidence interval). However I eventually decided that I really ought to take part, if I could satisfy myself that the trial was well-designed, the possible benefits for patients sufficient, and the risks to participants from the ionizing radiation of things other than cancer had been properly considered. So I googled the specific condition and the drug involved, carefully prepared a long list of questions, and after several attempts, got through to one of the medical scientists involved. It seemed sensible to start by establishing that I really was eligible to be on the control group, so we went through bits of my medical history, current drug regimen and so on – and then she asked my age. “Fifty-nine”, I said. Pause.
    “Could I ask your birthday?”
    “22nd of May.”
    “So you were 59 this year?”
    “Yes.”
    “Oh, sorry, that means you’re not eligible. We need people over 60.”
    I must admit to having been rather relieved, but it left me with a slightly diminished confidence in clinical trials: my date of birth must have been readily available on the records that led to me being invited to take part!

  26. 526
    Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :)

    Ugh.

    “First: it was abundantly clear from the context you’re eliding that PZ’s instruction regarding ‘forgiveness’ was intended at least as much to be applicable to behavior like your creepy obsession with policing me as to passing references to a pattern of thoughtless comments in calling out the immediate one, you selectively posterior opening of the alimentary canal.

    Second: take yourself to Thunderdome. I’ve made my actual point and you can’t have any more of my spoons.”

    Finally thought of the perfect wording. Hate it when that happens. :(

  27. 527
    Lynna, OM

    Nick @525:

    I must admit to having been rather relieved, but it left me with a slightly diminished confidence in clinical trials: my date of birth must have been readily available on the records that led to me being invited to take part!

    Yeah. One definitely gets the impression that no one is paying attention to details.

  28. 528
    cicely

    Today’s FoxTrot
    -
    *target-seeking hug* sent in David’s wake.
    -
    Hi, Socio-gen!
    *waving*
    -

  29. 529
    Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate)

    cicely:

    I laughed at the Foxtrot :)

    I need hugs. I feel a little sad today. Dunno why really.

    I had a nice talk with my grandpa tonight. That’s not the norm. I haz a sad though…he forgot a big detail of long term memory…

    He resumes cancer treatments on Tuesday. Me and FavoriteCousin are going to try to take him out on a boat on the lake on Thursday. Hopefully he’s not too tired.

  30. 530
    CaitieCat, getaway driver

    Portia: Hugs offered from the Canadian side of the lake (unless it’s that other one, y’know). In fact, I’ll offer 2.2 hugs, because the Canadian dollar is down now, so that should make it come up to HUS2. :)

  31. 531
    Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate)

    CaitieCat:

    I really laughed at the thought of a conversion rate on hugs :) It’s not that lake, it’s actually an inland lake in Michigan though, so not far off :)

    P.S. I’m glad you got a little sleep.

  32. 532
    Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate)

    Socio-gen:

    Hello again. Hope you’re well.

    Giliell:
    Thanks for the hugs over in That Thread. Means a lot.

  33. 533
    CaitieCat, getaway driver

    Thanks, Portia, I was going a bit buggy myself, so I was really, really glad to finally get a bit of kip.

    A couple of summers ago, a friend of mine rented a cabin for a week on a lake up in central Ontario, and she invited a couple of us to spend a couple of nights with her. I lay on the dock for much of the first night, dozing on and off on the sun-warmed, old, soft wood planks, looking at the Milky Way and wishing I lived somewhere that wasn’t a city, where my nearest neighbours couldn’t be seen or heard easily, and where I could write and paint and write and paint and such.

    Sigh.

    So I’m envious. :)

  34. 534
    Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate)

    where I could write and paint and write and paint and such.

    This is my ideal weekend, except I’m not good at writing. I do love when I have both the time and inclination to paint, though.
    Is “bit of kip” Canadian for sleep? :)

  35. 535
    CaitieCat, getaway driver

    English, actually, but I reckon most Canadians would get it. I was 10 when I moved here, long enough for at least some of my slang to have calcified as UK-based.

    What’s weird, though, is how that hurt me when I went there last. In 2005, I visited with my then-partner, had a wonderful visit, saw all kinds of fun things, went to France, blah blah.

    What bugged me was that when I would talk on the phone with people, they were constantly misgendering me. Like, every frakking call.

    It took me some pondering to figure it out, but best I can figure, what they were reacting to was that the subset of endearments i use with strangers there – the UK is big on things like “my son”, “pet”, “hen”, and so on, in various parts and in varying proportions.

    What’s always clear to people is which ones are for women, and which are for men, and there isn’t a lot of overlap.

    So I was tipping them by my sociolect: having developed it when people thought I was a boy, I learnt boy-words, and though my accent returned as strong as ever, it did so with the wrong sociolectal fringes.

    It was…unpleasant.

  36. 536
    Esteleth, [an error occurred while processing this directive]

    CaitieCat, I hope I’m not being presumptive when I say that you seem to be a rad person and if you vanish again when Shakesville reopens I will be sad.

  37. 537
    Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate)

    CaitieCat:

    That’s really interesting, and I’ve never heard the term sociolect before. It does make sense, and it makes me think about not only different ways that men and women are addressed in my section of the US but how they are expected to address people.

    And I second Esteleth :)

  38. 538
    cicely

    *manyhugs* for Portia. Some days are just ‘sad’ days.
    Take Mondays, for instance.
    Please.
    *ba-dum tish!*
    -

  39. 539
    bluentx

    FtB a little weird tonight.
    Refreshing is slow on Ftb tab. I can read new comments sooner on my yahoo mail tab…

    And third-ing Esteleth.

  40. 540
    CaitieCat, getaway driver

    *blinks*

    *blinks*

    Thanks.

    That was an unexpected feeling of happiness. I’m not planning on going anywhere soon, thank you all. :)

  41. 541
    Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate)

    Thanks, cicely, you made me smile with the hugs and the funny. :) *hug* back.

    Hiya bluentx, howdydo?

  42. 542
    Tony! The Queer Shoop

    I fourth the desire to see CaitieCat round these parts for some time to come.
    ****
    Whats the conversion rate of pouncehugs?
    ****
    Socio-gen:
    Welcome back :)

  43. 543
    Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls

    Dang, it’s always interesting how your body tells you it need rest. After the Redhead’s parent’s left, I finally got that three letter word, a nap. Then fell asleep again both before and after dinner. Last night was rough/short due to some pains. But I didn’t think it was that rough…

  44. 544
    Dalillama, Schmott Guy

    kind of ‘rupt, but
    Gilliel
    I got a laugh from the Merkel story

    portia
    *hugs*

    Caitiecat
    I also welcome your presence. Regarding sociolects, I’ve personally noted that when I’m using a Southern American accent (which I picked up from the remnants of my mother’s Texas upbringing), I tend towards ‘feminine’ modes of address unless I watch myself (probably a consequence of only learning from my mother; dad’s from the Northeast.)

    Socio-Gen
    Hi again

  45. 545
    Jackie

    From the Stunned Silence thread:

    I have permanent damage from refusing to go to the doctor over things that I was sure “weren’t that bad”. Part of that was from being so broke at the time and some of it was avoiding public places, but maybe some of it was not valuing my own health.

    Groups of people I do know exhaust me.

    Being in public at all is actually fairly grating and that is a huge improvement on where I once was. I went through a full on agoraphobic stage years ago. So, if this is as good as it gets, I’ll take it.

    I’m a Citizen Radio fan and recently Jamie talked about how he has massive social anxiety, but doesn’t mind being on stage. That was only a day (I think) after Jen’s post about how phone calls cause her anxiety. It’s so strange, I hate phone calls, but I don’t mind speaking from a stage or from behind a podium. I’ve experienced tunnel vision on stage and been so nervous that all I could hear was the blood pounding in my ears, but something about it made it something that wasn’t so bad. In fact, I liked it. Maybe it’s because so many people fear public speaking that it is the one place I can be anxious and not feel weird. Maybe I feel more honest, since we’re all lying a little by playing it cool. (Smiling at people and trying to look at ease at a dinner party when you really want to down a bottle of wine and lock yourself in the bathroom feels like lying.) Maybe all that focus on me makes me feel in control. A snake charmer keeps from being bitten by constantly moving so as to distract the snake. Is that something anyone here can relate to?

    Also, I actually like people very much. I like getting to know them and spending time with them. I just do better with only a few people, in a private space. I don’t want it to sound like I think people are icky. Anxiety is a feeling I cannot help and I’d get rid of it if I could. (Depression can just kiss my ass. I REALLY hate that stuff.) Other people are not the problem. My physical reaction to being around them is the problem. It’s like having a chocolate allergy, but really liking chocolate. I do what I can to keep myself out there and flexing those social muscles. I see a doctor. I’m honest about where my head is with those close to me. I want to get as close to normal as I can. I’ve got shit to do after all and I really want to do it. So, if I come across as if I feel sorry for myself or don’t like people, please know that isn’t it. I’m lucky. I have a snug little life with lots of love and people who accept me. I have the opportunity to do things that are meaningful to me. I get to have plenty of down time to relax and deal with my stupid, annoying issues. I am, despite those crappy, annoying issues, a pretty happy person. I want to make sure and say that because I’ve been in some bad places emotionally and I know I could (….ok, in all likelihood will) be there again one day. I know other people on here may have spent a long time in their bad places. They may be in them now and they may wonder if they’ll ever get out. It happens. There is hope, even if you can’t feel it or even think about feeling it right now. If hope is something too far off and impossible to even imagine, then know you aren’t alone and that there are people who understand.

  46. 546
    bluentx

    Hi back, Portia.
    Sorry you’re not having such a peachy day but it’s good here. Today’s my Friday (off for three days) and the rain storm that came through earlier did not cause a power failure. So, yay! Only about 5 hours until I can go home.

  47. 547
    Esteleth, [an error occurred while processing this directive]

    Seriously though, CatieCat, I’m giving you a hearty stamp with my patented “Esteleth Thinks You’re Neat” stamp.

    Bear it with pride. Or chagrin. Take your pick.

    Also, *digs up tea cart from like 50 Lounges ago*

    I’ve refreshed the hot water and laid out some more tea blends. And the muffins are fresh from the oven!

  48. 548
    Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate)

    Thanks Dalillama.

    bluentx – Hope you can get some R&R after work :)

    I’ve been taking care of my niece for 3 days now…and it’s convinced me that there’s good reasons I’m not a parent. : p I just don’t have the patience/resilience/smarts.

    *yoinks a cuppa tea from Esteleth’s cart*

  49. 549
    The Mellow Monkey

    CaitieCat, I hope I’m not being presumptive when I say that you seem to be a rad person and if you vanish again when Shakesville reopens I will be sad.

    I’d like to reiterate that. You are cool people, CaitieCat. I love seeing what you have to say. :)

  50. 550
    bluentx

    Oh, I’ll get some rest, but not until after I beat back the daily raccoon invasion. I have to shoo up to 14 of the suckers away (repeatedly) in order for my cats to get their fill. My plan is to use some of my time off to make access to the feeding area more difficult for the uninvited breakfast ‘guests’. We shall see if that’s even possible. Some of those critters are bold!

  51. 551
    Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :)

    bluentx: I suggest a hose with one of those pistol-shaped sprayer nozzles. Shouldn’t be harmful, I would think, but should discourage them.

  52. 552
    Socio-gen, something something...

    Giliell: Does anyone deserve Merkel, really? :)

    cicely: *waves* Hi cicely! How goes the fight against peas and Horses?

    Portia: *hugs* and *chocolate* Wishing you an enjoyable boat trip!

    Tony: Thank you! How’ve you been?

    Jackie: Wow, can I relate to that! Sitting in classroom of more than 20 where I know no one or very few makes me sick to my stomach for weeks (I get comfortable right about the time the semester ends), but put me in front of the class to give a presentation and I’m Dale Carnegie. Invite me to a dinner party or any kind of large social event and I’m a shaking wreck doing the calculations on [how well I know the hosts] times [what kind of event] to figure out how long I have to stay before I can leave without looking like I’m running (longer at family weddings, shorter at friends/acquaintances, longer at dinner parties, shorter at family reunions, etc). A few strangers hanging out in the cafe, though, and I’m peachy…unless men outnumber women in the room.

    I used get physically ill before having to make phone calls. Thanks to being required for two years running to call participants and speakers for the women’s leadership program, I’m at the point of only being nauseated when I pick up the phone. I write out scripts to use and I am blubberingly grateful when I get voicemail instead of an actual person.

    Esteleth: Ahhh, tea. I’ll take a cuppa.

    *offers zucchini bread to the Lounge*

    bluentx: Good luck with the raccoons…you’ll need it. They aren’t just bold, but also clever little buggers.

  53. 553
    Dalillama, Schmott Guy

    bluentx
    There exist automatic food dispensers, which usually seem to work on a timer. There also exist pet doors which only unlatch in the presence of a tag (usally magnetic or radio) on the pet’s collar. These technologies should be combinable, in theory.

  54. 554
    Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate)

    Socio-gen:
    I shredded a couple large zucchini for use in bread. Recipe? (also: *snarfs up more than her share of zucchini bread…and all the chocolate*)

    Dalillama:
    I know I’ve said it before, but with your recent comments I feel impelled* to tell you how insightful and wonderful you always are. I am always happy to see you.

    *I just recently learned that most of the other times I’ve used “compelled” I meant “impelled”.

    bluentx:
    When camping in Wisconsin this summer, an adolescent raccoon found a nook in a tree right above our site and waited til we weren’t looking to raid. It would not go away, and the park management was unconcerned. That thing was tenacious.

  55. 555
    cicely

    Socio-gen: Both peas and Horses are thriving. Regrettably. I’m pretty sure that they (and They) are responsible for all this ragweediness that is seriously messing up my head.
    -

  56. 556
    Socio-gen, something something...

    Portia: This is my favorite recipe. The directions are so easy!

    2 1/2 cups sugar
    3 eggs
    3 cups flour
    3-4 teaspoons vanilla (I use 4, the original recipe calls for 3)
    1 cup oil
    2 cups zucchini, grated
    1 teaspoon baking soda
    1/4 teaspoon baking powder
    1/4 teaspoon salt (optional)
    1 cup nuts (optional)
    3 teaspoons cinnamon (optional)

    Preheat oven to 350. Combine everything in one bowl. Pour into loaf pans. Bake for one hour. Makes two loaves.

  57. 557
    Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate)

    The directions are so easy!

    You’re speaking my language :D Thank you!

  58. 558
    WMDKitty -- Survivor

    I’m in need of an ego-boost and some reassurance.

    I’m in a… less-than-optimal meds situation of my own making, and I’m rationing said medications until I can pick up on Wednesday from the pharmacy. The result is this. An anxious, self-doubting, wreck.

    I could have avoided this situation if I called in the refills a few days earlier.

    And I still need to schedule my annual girly check-up, which requires making a phone call. Do. Not. Want.

  59. 559
    bluentx

    Tenacious indeed! The smallest one of this bunch is the fistiest*. I guess you have to be a fighter when you’re the runt.

    *Googlefu says ‘fistiest’ is acceptable in Scrabble (11 points) but not valid in Words With Friends. Huh, who knew?

  60. 560
    Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate)

    WMDKitty:

    I like you. :) I’m sorry things are rough right now. I sometimes reward myself after I make a phone call. I hate making phone calls. To the point where …never mind my whining story about phone calls. *hugs* if you want ‘em. You’re a neat person, and I like having you here.

  61. 561
    Dalillama, Schmott Guy

    Portia

    It would not go away, and the park management was unconcerned.

    Not actually their job to be, really. if it’s not actually biting people, then it’s on your own head, as far as they’re concerned.

    I hate, hate, hate phonecalls, making or receiving, especially when I have a script (the latter being a legacy of too many years at callcenters)

  62. 562
    Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate)

    Dalillama:

    Yeah, you’re right. It was just that it was invading during the day, and we had small children, and it was just nervousmaking that there would be biting involved. And that little guy would be better off relocated, too, I think.

  63. 563
    Dalillama, Schmott Guy

    bluentx

    Googlefu says ‘fistiest’ is acceptable in Scrabble (11 points) but not valid in Words With Friends. Huh, who knew?

    L is constantly complaining about the weirdass dictionary that Words With Friends uses.

    WMDkitty
    *hugs*

  64. 564
    Socio-gen, something something...

    cicely: I’m suffering the ragweediness too. One of the good things about spending two months in PA visiting my family this summer was not having to take allergy meds every day. I am, apparently, allergic to every form of pollen in Minnesota.

  65. 565
    bluentx

    WMDKitty:
    So sorry for meds shortage. Too bad pills won’t actually fit through the USB. If they would The Horde could probably supply enough to get you to Wednesday :)

  66. 566
    CaitieCat, getaway driver

    Time to run the Nightmare Gauntlet again*.

    I’ll admit I’m really touched and pleasantly surprised at people saying nice things about me. Thank you. There’s enough personal AAERGH going on in my life atm that just that little bit of warmth has helped me a bunch.

    Just thanks. Sometimes stuff is nicely timed, even when it wasn’t specifically intended to be.

    * You probably call it “trying to go to sleep”.

  67. 567
    Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate)

    Night CaitieCat, good luck with the sleeping peacefully.

    I should be doing that myself. I’m going to get tickled awake around 7:30 tomorrow. I ♥ waking up to the sweet smiling face of this girl though.

  68. 568
    Dalillama, Schmott Guy

    Sleep well, CaitieCat

  69. 569
    cicely

    *gentle scritches* and reassurance and support for WMDKitty.
    -
    Socio-gen: The problem with ragweed—apart from the fact that it exists—is that ragweed pollen makes me feel as if I’m trying to think with densely-packed cotton fluff, which really isn’t the optimal tool for the job, and is a nuisance when I owe someone my best critique of their writing (having agreed to do so Of My Own Free Will), but am temporarily lacking in faculties.
     
    Alternatively, I can take the meds and be fuzzy-brained from that, with the added (dis)advantage of Extreme Sleepiness.
     
    It’s a lose/lose situation for my poor, malfunctioning brainmeats.
    -

  70. 570
    Socio-gen, something something...

    WMDKitty: Sorry you’re running short on meds. You are a great person and I always enjoy reading your comments here.

    CaitieCat: I fifth (or maybe sixth) the call for you to hang around. Your comments on the Stunned thread were so helpful. Good luck with the Gauntlet. *hugs* if you want ‘em.

  71. 571
    cicely

    Good night, CaitieCat, and may the nightMares pass you by.
    -

  72. 572
    Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate)

    nightMares

    I see what you did there.

    Slander!

    Ok, I’m going to bed now too.

  73. 573
    Socio-gen, something something...

    cicely: Ugh, no fun. I take the generic dollar-store version of Claritin which, while not making the symptoms go away-away, manages to keep the worst of the ragweedy fuzzy-headedness at bay without adding to it. Anything that’s actually effective either puts me to sleep or, paradoxically, winds me up so I don’t sleep for about three days straight.

    Portia: Sleep well!

    I think I’m going to attempt sleep as well. If my sinuses will allow it. Good night!

  74. 574
    Cyranothe2nd, there's no such thing as a moderate ally

    Socio-gen,

    Wow, can I relate to that! Sitting in classroom of more than 20 where I know no one or very few makes me sick to my stomach for weeks (I get comfortable right about the time the semester ends), but put me in front of the class to give a presentation and I’m Dale Carnegie.

    Thanks for relating this! I’m a teacher, and I often think about how to make in-class presentations and talking in front of the class type assignments less horrifying for students, but I’ve never really thought about how anxiety-inducing the class itself can be.

    If I may ask…have you shared this with any teachers? Did they do anything in response? What do you think should be done in response? One thing I do in my class is to assign small groups (3-4 students) the first day. These groups work together almost every class session, so they get to know each other really well. Sometimes I shuffle them, so people get to know their peers in the class pretty well. But idk if that makes anxiety worse?

    Sorry if these questions are annoying and please don’t feel obligated to answer.

  75. 575
    gworroll

    Día daiobh!

    I haven’t posted in the lounge before, but the stunned silence thread hit me. My blinders on my experience were probably going to come off eventually, coming off due to that thread with that more or less safe space to open up was pretty close to a best case scenario. So I figured I’d pop in here and step further into the community than the occasional comment on random posts.

    The language discussion earlier was interesting- I wish I knew some Japanese. I wasted the chance to learn it when I was stationed in Japan with the Marines. I did at least pay attention to the orientation, so I never fell for the prank where new Marines in country were told that “Ikuru desu ka” means “You are very beautiful” and that Japanese women love hearing it.

    I’ve studied some Spanish, and forgotten most of it. I can muddle through reading a bit, though, if I’ve got a decent dictionary handy. I did get incredibly lucky at work one day, when I actually remembered enough to help a customer when our spanish speaking associates were busy. I don’t know it well enough to list it on a job application, but it was nice that the customers needs happened to line up with what little I did know.

    I’ve also studied some Irish, though again I’ve forgotten a lot. Irish is a very strange language for a native English speaker. Verb Subject Object word order, which is hard to wrap your head around. My intro up top there? “Hello y’all” is what it means. Though Irish lacks any word for “hello”(some speakers Gaelicize the english word though)- the literal translation is “God to y’all”. Irish also lacks “to have”, to express possession you say something is “at me”. The words “yes” and “no” don’t exist. “Do you run?” would be answered “I run” or “I don’t run”. It’s all very confusing. I can read a little with the aid of a dictionary, but not as much as I can with Spanish and I’m spending much more time in the dictionary, and that isn’t even counting the mutations at the beginning of words complicating dictionary usage.

    I will say one thing good about the ease of Irish- phonetics are far more consistent than English. They are very different from English, despite using a slightly modified form of the same alphabet, but they are much more consistent with less redundancy. You read a word, you know how to pronounce it. You hear a word, you know how to spell it. This holds in Irish much more consistently than it does for English.

    Also, don’t tell an Irish person that they speak Gaelic. It makes as much sense as calling Spanish “Romance”. You can expect some angry responses comparable to calling them English.

  76. 576
    gworroll

    Oh, and I didn’t really say it over there, I was too much in the HOLY CRAP THIS IS ME stage of realization, but thank all of you for your support and sharing stories.

  77. 577
    Socio-gen, something something...

    Okay, the sleep thing failed. Upstairs neighbors have friends over and not a blessed one of them can go in or out the door without letting the screen door slam. And for some reason they can’t decide if they want to be in or out, so it’s repeated slamming.

    Cyranothe2nd:
    I don’t mind answering, although it’s somewhat difficult because it really varies based on the classroom. I’ve never really mentioned it to my professors (except one who has become a friend and mentor) because I’ve always thought of it as my problem. I liked her classes best and later found out she’s dealt with her own anxiety issues so tried to minimize potential problems as much as possible. In a MWF class, for example we’d do lecture-only on Monday, large-group discussion on Wednesday, and small group work on Friday. If it was a once-a-week class, it was lecture for the first hour, large group discussion the second, and small group to finish up. The routine of it was helpful. I knew when I could “relax” and just take notes and when I’d need to have extra spoons.

    Rotating small groups is difficult but it also helps me become more comfortable with the class as a whole.

    One professor used to have us count off rather than let us group with the people already near us and that was extremely anxiety-provoking because we would have to move around the room to where our “number” was. Where I sit in the classroom depends on how the room is set up (which way the desks face, where the door is) because I need to see the exit, so no one can come in behind me. Moving out of that “safe spot” is nerve-wracking.

    One of the things that I found really helpful (that I didn’t expect) was posting weekly discussion question responses on a class blog. I could read someone’s words and get to know them even if I wasn’t in one of their groups. Then, when we did end up in a group together, I already felt comfortable.

    I’m not sure if I really answered your questions, but if not or if you have more, feel free to ask!

    gworroll:
    My grandmother was Irish and I’ve wanted to learn the language since I was little, but I have no facility for it or any other language. I can learn words but putting them into sentences and making sense eludes me. (I don’t mangle Spanish pronunciation as badly as I do Irish, however.) I used to claim that all my talent went into learning to step-dance and there was none left over for languages.

  78. 578
    Cyranothe2nd, there's no such thing as a moderate ally

    @ Socio-gen,

    Thanks so much for the response! I too love class blogs and discussion forums. Such a great way for students who don’t want to speak up in person to still have a voice.

    One professor used to have us count off rather than let us group with the people already near us and that was extremely anxiety-provoking because we would have to move around the room to where our “number” was. Where I sit in the classroom depends on how the room is set up (which way the desks face, where the door is) because I need to see the exit, so no one can come in behind me. Moving out of that “safe spot” is nerve-wracking.

    I never even thought of that! Thanks for telling me. I often do the numbers thing, but will not do that this quarter because you’ve said this. :)

    Thanks again for the response.

  79. 579
    Socio-gen, something something...

    Cyranothe2nd:

    You’re welcome! When it was first mentioned, I thought the class blog and response was a horrible idea. “I’m going to have to post this for everyone to see? And respond to two others?” But I quickly came to appreciate the way it let us discuss the topics in more depth than could be achieved during an in-class discussion, and, as you said, allowed those who didn’t feel comfortable speaking up in class to be able to share their own thoughts.

  80. 580
    chigau (違う)

    I’m going to bed.

  81. 581
    bluentx

    chigau:
    You were awake all this time!? :)
    Okay, good night.

    I have to go do some work.

  82. 582
    Giliell, professional cynic -Ilk-

    Good morning

    Portia
    Moar hugs for grandfather.
    My grandma recently forgot that my husband and partner of 13 years even exists. While I visit twice a week with the kids he sees her rarely, so he slipped from her mind. Instead she made up a story where I had the kids out of wedlock from some random guys.

    Día is muire duit, gworroll
    I did some Gaelic when I studied in Ireland and yeah, it’s weird. But I really like the sound pattern. If you like it, here’s one of Runrig’s Scottish Gaelic songs

  83. 583
    birgerjohansson

    The Confidential Memo at the Heart of the Global Financial Crisis http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/larry-summers-and-the-secret-end-game-memo
    Holy. Fucking. Shit.

  84. 584
    birgerjohansson

    http://satwcomic.com/notice-me
    Mads Mikkelsen freakout?

  85. 585
    Parrowing

    Deoridhe:

    Is the bottom thread threaded as well?

    I was threading the bottom but it kept coming loose and unthreading itself while I was sewing.

    *

    Jackie Paper:

    I’ve experienced tunnel vision on stage and been so nervous that all I could hear was the blood pounding in my ears, but something about it made it something that wasn’t so bad. In fact, I liked it. Maybe it’s because so many people fear public speaking that it is the one place I can be anxious and not feel weird.

    I relate to this so much! Though for me, the difference is between when I’m supposed to be myself and when I’m not. If I’m doing a presentation, even though I can use some of my acting experience to make it better, it’s still nerve-wracking for me. However, when I’m onstage and acting, the nerves are gone.

    *

    Socio-gen:

    Sitting in classroom of more than 20 where I know no one or very few makes me sick to my stomach for weeks (I get comfortable right about the time the semester ends)

    Oh, me too, so much. I’ve had grades suffer explicitly because of class participation, which always irritates me because I get comments like, “You make such great points in your papers, if only you’d done that in class you’d have an A instead of a B+,” to which I always feel like responding, “Well if only you’d made your classroom a welcoming environment instead of something I dreaded going to every lesson, we’d have had much more interesting discussions in class then.” Because some professors didn’t make their classes so scary and then I actually would participate more regularly.

    *

    Cyranothe2nd:

    If I may ask…have you shared this with any teachers? Did they do anything in response? What do you think should be done in response?

    May I answer this question as well?

    I only shared what was going on in high school, when I started having full-blown panic attacks 10-20 times daily. There was no way I could stay in the classroom those days and would leave on average 3 classes a day midway, so I needed to let teachers know what was going on. They were mostly good about it- they didn’t penalize me for leaving, they worked with me to keep up with assignments, and they didn’t comment on it when I would leave. That was SO important. A large part of what would keep me in panic mode was thinking that I couldn’t leave when I needed to or that I would cause a scene by leaving. When I left, I was usually feeling like I needed to vomit, and I sometimes did. If the teacher said, “Bye [Parrowing],” every time I left (or said something like that to other students when they left), that basically made me feel like I couldn’t leave. I would just sit, panic, not be able to pay attention to anything else, and definitely vomit later. Also, being allowed to doodle furiously (this is what I call it when I’m drawing stars so fast to distract myself from the panic that I accidentally poke a hole in my page) helped tamper down the anxiety and I could sometimes keep myself in the classroom that way.

    By the time I got to college, my panic attacks had mostly turned into generalized anxiety so I didn’t say anything to the professors. I didn’t need to leave class so often as I had developed ways to mitigate the anxiety. My choice of seat is very important to me. I need to sit as near to the door as possible and preferably in the back of the classroom (actually, more accurately, I need a seat from which my path to the door is unobstructed and which doesn’t require that I draw much notice). I always need an end seat. I do not like when professors do that, “C’mon people, move forward, there’s plenty of room up front,” thing. I either won’t move if I feel comfortable enough not moving and then I feel like I stick out, or I move and suffer. It also helps me to be able to take water and something light to eat with me to class. (I should clarify that my college courses were three hours long at a time, so my managing techniques are adapted for longer sessions.)

    I’m trying to think of other things that made some classes feel worse than others. Teachers who choose students at random to respond to something or read aloud basically make class a nightmare for me. I spend the entire time worrying that I will get chosen. It’s not a matter of not being prepared for class- I always am- I just don’t respond well in those situations (similar to not being able to prepare properly for a phone call as opposed to email or text).

    The only other thing I can think of that makes class a horrible experience for me is when teachers choose obvious favorites or pet students. I’ve been the pet (only because I happened to be friends with someone the teacher knew), which in part led to me being severely emotionally bullied that year, something that has had a lasting effect on me. I’ve also been the outsider when other teachers had pets, though in those cases, the pets were often the popular students who the teacher also coached on the basketball/cheerleading team or whatever. In university, the pets were usually the people who would share whatever popped into their head. That sort of thing tended to make classes feel much worse to me.

  86. 586
    Parrowing

    Woops, sorry, I should have written Jackie Papercuts above.

  87. 587
    birgerjohansson

    If you are interested in the novels by Tanya French, her latest one, “Faithful Place”,
    has its detective/protagonist set in a very, very dysfunctional family living in one of the Dublin “liberties” , at a street for the poorest of the poor (think “the Shades” in Ankh-Morpork).
    Normally I would prefer detective fiction with the likes of John Rebus, but French makes a novel about a horrible family interesting even to a low-brow slug like me.
    http://www.amazon.co.uk/Faithful-Place-Tana-French/dp/0340977620/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1378118324&sr=1-4
    (This is the British version of Amazon)

  88. 588
    CaitieCat, getaway driver

    *yawns*

    Some sleep, yes. Interrupted, always. Dreams pretty much at par (remember little, what’s remembered isn’t good).

    Trying to decide whether to be productive and try and tackle my dishes (literally everything in the apartment is dirty, and stacked all over my counter and one of the sinks). Dishes are hard with my back – the slight bending to get to the bottom of the sink is brutal over short periods, so I try to do them in five-minute hunks, but when there are so many, it’s hard to make space even to do that much.

    Or whether I should work on t-shirt designs that I’ve had waiting for work; I’m hoping this can turn into a minor alternative income stream, cause dog knows I need more income. I’d like it to come to a total that’s slightly above outgo.

    Or maybe just try some painting, i’ve got a few paintings needing work.

    Or the poems I promised to write up pretty and calligraphical for my partner, after I dedicated them to her last time I performed. If I can find the wee book I’m supposed to write them into.

    Or more likely, just turn on the PS3 and start playing something. I could finish my latest run through ME3; I made me a new Shep, and chose the opposite of all the moral choices. Well, almost all the moral choices. It’s funny how hard it is for me to do things, even in a game that has absolutely no effect on my life or anyone else’s, that I find immoral (deceit, lack of empathy, brutality). But I wanted to see the different possibilities the game would offer if I played a lot more Renegadey than I usually do. I managed to get about 75% red on my rep slider, that’s a pretty big shift from my usual 90% or so blue.

    Also, the US is so weird, why do you have to be the only place in the world where labour/socialism is represented by blue, and rich religious fuckwits are represented by red? Yes, I know ME is made in Canada-ish, but the connotations are all US-based (“lootenant” for “lieutenant”, e.g.).

    I should go for a walk, but it’s a grim grey rainy day here, and those are always a little more painful than the shiny sunny kind.

    Ooh. Shiny. That’s what I need. Playing ME3 while Firefly plays on my laptop. Yeeeeaaaah. Shiny indeed.

  89. 589
    Esteleth, [an error occurred while processing this directive]

    The red/blue thing is much more recent than many people thing – it dates back to 2000.

    Previously, the convention was that the sitting president’s party was blue and the other party was red.

    So, during the endless recount, the states that went for Gore were colored blue (as, of course, the sitting president was Clinton, who is a Democrat) and the states that went for Bush were colored red. And thus began comments about “red states” and “blue states.”

  90. 590
    Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate)

    TIL about the origin blue/red states thing. Thanks, Esteleth.

  91. 591
    Jackie

    Here’s a cute little thing to share. Hubster made oatmeal this morning and he drew Minecraft pickaxes with icing on all the kid’s oatmeal. They loved it.

    Cyranothe2nd, ladyporn afficianado,
    I really don’t know what to tell you to do to make it easier on the students.

    Socio-gen, something something…,
    Ack! Weddings and funerals are the worst! Since this is an atheist friendly space, I don’t feel bad about saying that while the social anxiety makes them difficult to attend, the religion makes it even worse. I keep telling myself that I’m never going to another. Then I feel guilty and I go. I then get to hear about how the only thing that matters is faith and how worthless life is without it. If it’s a wedding, I get to hear all about the importance of female submission. Then there are the family events I’m obliged to attend where I get to hear how crazy evolution is and how gays and atheists are ruining this great nation. I haven’t heard the “N” word since a certain uncle died. That’s nice. Some of my in-laws used to complain that we were the last to arrive and the first to leave. They thought us very rude. I thought them nearly unbearable. Sometimes I think I’d be less anxious if I lived in a more progressive area, but I don’t know if that’s the case.

    Back to the school topic: I once had an online Early Childhood Development class where discussion was counted as class participation. I remember someone posting that if a woman was pregnant from rape, she should see that as the will of God and submit to his will.There were people posting that abortion was murder and every trope you can imagine. I responded that not even a god has the right to get me pregnant through rape, etc. The professor told me I was being rude and offensive and not respecting the other student’s faith. That’s Kentucky for ya. My bodily autonomy means nothing. Christianity means everything. We can be incredibly friendly and incredibly fucked up. We are the state that brought you both Rand Paul and Mitch Mcconnell.

    WMDKitty,
    I’m sorry you are going through this hard time. I’m really glad you post here.

    CaitieCat,
    I hope I see you around here again too.

  92. 592
    A. Noyd

    gworroll (#575)

    I did at least pay attention to the orientation, so I never fell for the prank where new Marines in country were told that “[Ikura] desu ka” means “You are very beautiful” and that Japanese women love hearing it.

    What the fuck? [Note for others: That means "How much do you cost?"] I’m glad orientation covers not doing that, but if it’s a thing at all, it should be more firmly discouraged. Especially since American military personnel misbehavior in Japan notoriously doesn’t stop at the level of street harassment.

  93. 593
    Socio-gen, something something...

    Parrowing:

    Because some professors didn’t make their classes so scary and then I actually would participate more regularly.

    Exactly. My great contradiction is that going to class is so difficult (especially for the first month or so), but I also need face-to-face interaction in order to learn. Completely online classes just do not work for me.

    being allowed to doodle furiously

    It also helps me to be able to take water and something light to eat with me to class

    Yep. At my 2-year school and now at my current university, it became something of a running joke among those who’ve taken classes with me before that I eat my way through class. (Junior Mints. Because I need a snack that doesn’t rustle or crunch.)

    I doodle somewhat, but I mostly take obsessive notes. (Which, handy at test time!) I’ve had professors say “You don’t need to write any of this down” and I’m like, “Notes or hyperventilating, your choice.”

    It has gotten MUCH better for me in the past year, however — and all because of the Horde. I’m a Sociology and Women’s & Gender Studies dual major, so many of my classes cover feminism, sexism, rape culture, racism, ableism, and more. And, honestly, it’s sometimes like coming into a thread here. People (like me) who’ve been reading and learning about them for years who want an advanced discussion, and the “I’m taking this for my liberal arts requirement” people in a 300- or 400-level class who JAQoff and drag us back to 101-basics. Some professors will counter it; others just try to stick to their lesson plan and let it go.

    Having been here, I understood the importance of not letting stupid go unchallenged, but… me?? The first time I spoke up and said, “Um…that’s not actually true” — I felt like I was covered in flames. Took me hours to stop shaking. But people said thanks because they’d wanted to say something but everyone was afraid of being the only one. The class became overall friendlier and safer because I knew I wasn’t alone.

    birgerjohansson:
    That sounds interesting. *adds to the Amazon I’ll-have-money-soon* list.

    CaitieCat:
    When I hurt my back a few years ago, I had similar problems with reaching into the sink, but reaching up or across didn’t bother me. I don’t know if it would work for you, but my solution was to put a dishpan on top of two rectangular blocks (I used some scrap 2×4) so the bottom was above the “pain point.” Since I wasn’t paying for water, I just ran the tap and rinsed each item as I washed then put it in the drainer but you could do a rinse pan the same way.

    Yay, Firefly. I’m watching (well, mostly listening to) Doctor Who from the beginning again. Up to The Girl in the Fireplace.

    Esteleth
    Interesting! I wondered how that started.

    Jackie Papercuts:
    Yes, yes they are. I have been to some weddings that have been wonderful, almost all of them officiated by JPs. The best were when (in different years) two of my friends from back home married their spouses using PA’s “self-uniting license.” (Yay Quakers!). No officiant, not even a judge. The one bride’s aunt and the other couple’s friend acted as MCs. All the fun wedding stuff, none of the bad. Weird thing — weddings themselves are difficult for me, but the receptions afterward aren’t (usually.) I think it’s being trapped in a pew and not being able to escape, plus having to listen to all the Bible/submission crapola.

    Funerals: I don’t even go unless it’s a close family member and there is no graceful way to get out of it. I basically sit in the back and look for an excuse to take someone’s kid to the nursery. (They’re so grateful…) If it’s someone outside the family or someone in it I wasn’t particularly close to, I go to the visiting hours. Stop in, offer condolences, share a memory of the deceased that was special to me (if there is one), and leave.

    I have gotten to go to one non-religious memorial services and that was good. The man who’d died was an atheist, musician, paper-maker, and had dealt with anxiety issues (and one of the first people who ever believed in me) so the whole thing was designed to make people as comfortable as they could be while grieving C. It was a come-as-you-are, stay as long as you want (or as little), bring a dish to pass event. If you wanted, you could go up to a microphone and share a memory, song, poem, etc, but if not, you could just write it down on this lovely cardstock that C had made, which would all be collected. You could mingle, or just hang out in the greenspace he designed and built. The few who tried to do the “he’s looking down” or “he’s in a better place” were very gently shoved off the stage.

    I’ve made my kids promise they will give me this sort of goodbye and not let the rest of the family have any say. (I’m also trying to get them to promise me a Viking-style cremation on the family lake, which I’ve wanted since I was 10 and watched some Kirk Bridges movie.)

    Abortion: Ugh! My home region of PA is known as “Pennsyltucky” and there’s a reason I love living in Fargo-Moorhead: it’s not there. I’m quite sure no one ever before has said, “I can’t wait to be back in Fargo” and meant it as much as I did. Eight weeks there was about 6 weeks too long. I got to the point that I was just hiding out at my sons’ house or my daughter’s with occasional ventures out to visit the non-Tea Party sister and the anti-racism activist brother. And of course, being the boondocks, phone and internet service were iffy at best.

    A. Noyd:
    Oh my stars, I missed that in gworrell’s comment. “Prank”?? “Oh it’s so funny to get newbs to call women prostitutes.” Har-de-har-har….not.

    That’s bad anywhere, but in Japan, given the long and disgusting history of abuse of Japanese women by American (and other) military personnel?

  94. 594
    CaitieCat, getaway driver

    Socio-gen: Yay Girl in the Fireplace! One of my favourites. What do you think of the New Who? I adore Peter Capaldi, truly do, he’s played so many, many great roles so very well, but I wish Moffat would head for the hills, sooner rather than later. I like his work as a one- or two-episode writer, but I think for me, he’s been disastrously sexist for the entire run of 11. Stupid boner jokes with the sonic (TWICE!). Kissing a lesbian without asking her first. And her, of course, loving it. The Girl Who Was Passive (love the actor, hate the role). Clara, the mystery girl, so mysterious she doesn’t even get a personality (love the actor, hate the role). Rory, whom I honestly do like, but is turning into such a frakking Gary Stu for SM (love the actor, hate the role). Seriously ugly domestic violence/abusive behaviour in the Doctor/River relationship, lack of consent all over the place, I’m bored with monsters (with turny heads OR no faces) who say the same thing over and over and over and over.

    Oy. Just…I adored this show, and they’re making it so much less interesting, and so much more ‘hey fanboys, what do you want, ‘coz i’m one too and no-one else counts w00-h00!’. :(

  95. 595
    Esteleth, [an error occurred while processing this directive]

    Oh, “Girl in the Fireplace”! All the loves.

    For my part, the saddest two-line exchange I’ve seen on TV in the past decade is this one:

    enter Doctor
    Doctor: Reinette?
    Louis: *softly* You just missed her.
    Louis gestures out the window, where a cart is driving out of the gate. A coffin is on the cart.

    *blub blub blub*

  96. 596
    CaitieCat, getaway driver

    Ooohhh, totally, Esteleth. I even feel sorry for a Bourbon on the French throne! Not often that happens.

  97. 597
    Socio-gen, something something...

    I’m not familiar with any of his work, but from comments I’ve read, I’m hopeful that Capaldi will be a better Doctor. Matt’s Smith’s Doctor just struck me as too much frat boy (like you said, the jokes). Of course, I really loved the Tenth Doctor, so I was a little peeved with Smith to start with. I called my sister and said, “Oh my dog, he’s regenerated into a 13yo boy!”

    I hatehatehated Angels Take Manhattan. So much what-the-fuckery in that episode. I’ve watched it four times now and I still don’t understand the how or why. It was worse than the Rose-goodbye-but-not-really thing. And, what was the point of introducing Rory’s dad at all? Just so we’d have someone to feel sad for after ATM? Rory was great but then turned into UghRory, as we called him.

    And Clara!! That could have been SO much better if she’d been a real “person.” Instead she’s little more than a pretend mystery and a (very pretty) excuse to show all 11 Doctors. (Great minds: we nicknamed her “the girl who does nothing.”)

    All in all, I’m a bit worried for the 50th Anniversary episode. The show feels as if it’s turned into one long fanfic and my tolerance for the Eleventh’s antics is near gone.

  98. 598
    Esteleth, [an error occurred while processing this directive]

    I was a fan of the “Family of Blood” episodes as well as “The Sound of Drums” set. I also loved “Blink.”

    But Moffat is obnoxious.

    And don’t even get me started on “gritty means full of sex and violence!” Torchwood.

  99. 599
    Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought

    Esteleth,

    You… you don’t like Torchwood? I am stunned, I thought I was the only one who was all meh about it.

  100. 600
    Esteleth, [an error occurred while processing this directive]

    Torchwood is one of those shows that could have been great. Tell the story of the people who interact with the Doctor! Tell the story of what happens when [woodgie shit] goes down and the Doctor isn’t around to save the day!

    Instead, it devolved into a wankfest.

  101. 601
    Weedless Monkey

    I really, really liked Eccleston’s Doctor. It’s beautiful when a rough man cries.

    Tennant’s was mostly ok, but somewhat slick and flippant… Smith’s? I gave up.

  102. 602
    Esteleth, [an error occurred while processing this directive]

    I think for me the “nope” moment for me was a one-off scene:

    Owen, that lovable sexbomb rogue, is in a bar. He hits on a woman. She rebuffs him. He sprays that “you find me hot” perfume shit in her face, she suddenly falls all over him. Dude comes over, is angry that Owen is hitting on his partner. Owen sprays the stuff in his face too. Cue threesome!

    GROSS.

  103. 603
    Socio-gen, something something...

    Esteleth:
    Yup. That episode never fails to make me blub. The others are Forest of the Dead and Journey’s End. Donna was my favorite of the companions.

    Blink! That’s the episode that got my sons hooked. Before that, they’d see me watching and be all, “Oh Mom, you and your weird British shows!” (which, true. Primeval, Being Human etc.) By the end of the first 15 minutes, they were on the edge of their seats. When they jumped at [that scene], I was like “AH, gotcha!” The oldest jokes that I’ve made him forever afraid of cemeteries.

    Ugh Torchwood! I wanted to like it, but …. no. Just no.

    Beatrice:
    You are not alone.

    Weed Monkey:
    Eccleston’s Doctor was great — he had the whole “I’ve been around the universe forever and seen so much that hurts” vibe going on, but the Rose-Ninth thing squicked me out.

  104. 604
    Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought

    I only watched a couple of episodes, but it was too much science fiction enthusiast gets his original script accidentally scrambled with some soft porn and decides to just go with it. It’s been a while since I was a prude about sex on tv, but I feel the plot lost a bit of something there, because it all had to be about sex. Everything became too simplified, not in a good way (but in a way reminding me of “and then the pizza delivery guy knocks on the door”).

    (I think I watched that episode Esteleth mentions, it sounds familiar.)

    I was thinking about trying to watch the whole thing again, in case those objections actually were some leftover hang-ups about the appropriateness of lots of sex in a series/movie.

  105. 605
    Socio-gen, something something...

    What bugged me were the constant microaggressions against Gwen. Usually from Owen, but even from Jack when he was “complimenting” her. Like, in one of the early episodes, some MP called her little girl and doesn’t believe she’s with Torchwood and Jack, in the process of saying “Yes, we are Torchwood” says something to the effect that she’s not a girl because she has curves in all the right places.

    You know, I’d like my SFF to not remind me of the real world quite so much.

  106. 606
    Esteleth, [an error occurred while processing this directive]

    Okay, I’ll say it: Gwen and Rhys had a terrible relationship.

  107. 607
    CaitieCat, getaway driver

    I won’t disagree on Torchwood being oversexed, but it actually does get better. The execs figured front-ending the two “sex”-centred episodes would be great for bringing people in, fsv of “people” meaning white cishet men. After that, though, there is some few episodes that are quite good, a couple that are genuinely creepy, and some others that aren’t so good. And Owen with the spray? That right there was the start of me genuinely hating the character of Owen. He’s vile, sexist, rapey, emotionally abusive, and proud of all of the above. Blech. But there’s also lovely Ianto, whom I love for his loveliness, and his falling-for-Jack-ness.

    Episodes 5 through 10 of S1 make an interesting subset: some creepy, some blubworthy, some messing-with-your-head-plotwise, some sex. Ep 11 of S1 is great if you loved Fight Club, less so otherwise.

    Ep 12 is interesting, and has some really cool time-messing-about-with in it, and some anachronistic gay-love-romance, but the finish in 13 (two-parter) is disappointing, and the ending flatly weird and ineffective.

    S2, I’d go with 1-3, skip 4 (definitely skip 4), 5&6 are interesting, 7 is only useful insomuch as it sets up 8, which is quite good, 9 is a funny but gender-binary-normative okay, 10′s creepy, 11 will break your heart with the amazing Ruth Jones, and 12-13 a typical RTD crash-bang season-ending two-parter.

    S3 (Children of Earth) has some wonderfully creepy elements, but you’ll be spending a fair bit of time shouting at the TV for whoever’s carrying the silliness badge at the moment. It does have the advantage of portraying a working-class family and their reactions to the events, in a way that felt pretty real to me having been working-class in Britain.

    S4 is all shout-at-the-TV moments, as things happen that you’ll be saying, “Um, no, not believing that, just…no,” and “where did you leave your brain? was it in the last episode, or in your agent’s office when you signed to be on this show?” and “wait, isn’t the UK an independent country from the US?” (although the latter has less oomph than before the “NSA rents itself to GCHQ” thing), and “WHAT YOU KILLED (REDACTED)?!?!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?” and a bunch of other shoutiness. Until it finishes, when you’ll be staring gawp-eyed at your TV and wondering why you just spent something close to 10 hours on that.

    Y’know, IMHO. That’s Caitie’s Guide to Enjoying Torchwood: Miss Some of It!

  108. 608
    LykeX

    @Esteleth
    That alien sex perfume scene didn’t sit well with me either. If the point was to clarify that this guy is a scumbag, it would have been great, but isn’t he supposed to be one of the good guys? I’m supposed to care about him after that? I’m supposed to buy the idea that our main character will actually be attracted to him later?

    For me, it was a dog-kicking moment. There’s no way I can fully side with that character after that unless something is done to reform his character. The implications of his act are never even addressed or commented on. There isn’t even a slight nod to “OK, maybe that wasn’t cool”. Nothing.

  109. 609
    CaitieCat, getaway driver

    Sorry, should have thrown in: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Torchwood_episodes

  110. 610
    Esteleth, [an error occurred while processing this directive]

    I watched all of the first season and I think the first episode or two of S2. Gave up then, because it was not getting better.

  111. 611
    CaitieCat, getaway driver

    Reasonably so, Esteleth; I’m sorry if I’m coming across as “oh, no, you have to try it”, cause no, you don’t, no one does. But if someone does want to try it past the bad ones that it admittedly kicks off with, that’s where I’d go: start with 5.

    In no way, though, do I insist that someone will or must like it. Many will not. My apologies if I screwed up expressing that.

  112. 612
    Pteryxx

    Y’know, IMHO. That’s Caitie’s Guide to Enjoying Torchwood: Miss Some of It!

    …If this were its own blog post (or heck, series) I would so bookmark this.

  113. 613
    CaitieCat, getaway driver

    Y’know, Pteryxx, that’s not a bad idea at all. Maybe I’ll do some of that tonight over at FMF. Thanks. :)

  114. 614
    Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought

    CaitieCat,

    Ok, you’ve convinced me. I’ll try watching it again. :)

    I read already somewhere that the last season caused some serious pushback from fans. Especially for OMG you killed [redacted]?! Yeah, kinda spoiled since I know who dies and was a bit saddened by knowing that even though I wasn’t a fan.

    I will probably watch from the beginning, even though I will possibly go a bit quicker through those first episodes if I don’t like them again.

  115. 615
    CaitieCat, getaway driver

    Y’allz, I’m not sure what to do about this, but I’m a bit concerned about a commenter at Zinnia Jones’ last post (I’m not one of the “good ones”, or something like it). I think a quick read of the last ten comments or so will quickly indicate the issue. Not at all sure what, if anything, should be done, but I wonder if someone who has her deets could e-mail ZJ to poke her about it?

  116. 616
    Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden

    I really wanted to say this in Thunderdome to Cyranothe2nd about the Stunned Silence thread…but TD is closed still.

    Cyrano, I understand that you were triggered, and all sympathy to you in your grief and anger. But there were people on that thread like Jacob Schmidt who admitted to rape without being a survivor. Og’s posts were longer and clearly asking for sympathy, but Doe’s post @143 didn’t seem to be a plea for sympathy. It seemed the point of the story (as if there has to be a point for a survivor to tell her story) was that survivors don’t necessarily handle things well and that especially when children tend to repeat what was done to them. IIRC she said she hadn’t done anything like that since being a child. Then she talked about feeling like a monster.

    I can’t speak for Jane Doe, but I know that my biggest fear is that someday I would become my abuser/s. Og, likewise, spoke about this quite explicitly. This is part of what it means to be a survivor. It’s a common experience where we are horrified at what was done to us, but for various reasons can’t place the anger where it belongs (my favorite hypotheses are 1) it’s not safe to be angry at someone who would do that to you & 2) you love the person who did that to you and so can’t reconcile the “monster” label with that person) and **you** become the monster.

    Because human beings are human beings, there will always be something that the survivor *has* done wrong at some point. For kids it’s especially likely that that includes acting out abuse toward others, but even adults to terrible things. We yell at those who love us and are doing everything right b/c it’s safe to yell at them. We hit people we love b/c they walked up behind us – on the carpet.

    If we can’t talk about how the rape colors those events for us, we can’t tell the stories of actual survivors. Ogvorbis is an actual survivor and his story is real, valid, & excruciating. If you can’t deal with that story, fine, don’t read it. But you are doing exactly what Elyse said not to do even though you claim to agree with her: she said not to tell a survivor their stories are too horrible to hear. It silences them.

    When Elyse did tell rapists not to respond, she most certainly didn’t call out Ogvorbis or Jane Doe. And she went on to say that she was talking about people who “realized years later” that they raped someone. This flatly contradicts Jane Doe.

    I think you should really think about whether it’s a good thing to ghettoize raped children to a rapists only thread because they didn’t handle it perfectly. Jane Doe was explicitly asking for people not to be demonized because of the effects on survivors. What you did showed contempt for her request as a survivor, and was not even supported by Elyse, the person you claimed as an ally in your statement against Og & Doe.

  117. 617
    Pteryxx

    I think a quick read of the last ten comments or so will quickly indicate the issue.

    CaitieCat, I recognize the meme being used, though not the commenter (obviously). I think it came up in one of the recent storify harassment discussions. Searching.

  118. 618
    Socio-gen, something something...

    Argh! Never fails. I forget to type my comment in Notepad and then move it to the comment box — which means some sort of gurgle-glitch-hiccup on Pharyngula (or my computer) and I lose what I’ve typed. *sigh*

    And now I’m just too annoyed to attempt to recreate it….

  119. 619
    Socio-gen, something something...

    Crip Dyke: I understand your feelings and your need to respond, and I agree with much of what you’re saying, but this is the absolute wrong place for it.

    I honestly can’t take more heavy talk and hurt right now, and apparently, I can’t even escape it in the Lounge.

    *off to watch Doctor Who*

  120. 620
    Giliell, professional cynic -Ilk-

    Uff
    Finally made it home after parents’ night (how do you call that in English, or does it even exist? An evening where the parents come to school to meet with the teacher to talk about important stuff)

    So…
    1.) I would like the teacher even better if she didn’t always use the word “mummy” and act like it was all the mothers’ jobs.

    2.) Apart from that I think she’s really the person I want in charge of my not normal kid

    3.) I’m damn proud of my kid.
    Like most people here the teacher also talked about pencils in “skincolour”. #1 showed uo and told her “Ms. M., that colour is called apricot. Not all skin is apricot.

    4.) I talked to the mother whose boy had kissed #1, asking her to tell her son to ask first. Well, for her the main problem seems to be that he kissed her, not that he kissed her without permission. And it seems like the others dared him to do so. They are 6 fucking years old and their recess hobby is sexual assault. But rape culture is something shrill feminazi bitches invented to shame poor healthy men.

  121. 621
    Pteryxx

    Crip Dyke, fyi, the Thunderdome is open again now. …and that post really should have gone there. If you will move it, I’ll ask for the copy here to be removed.

    CaitieCat, are you willing to drop me a gmail (nym) ?

  122. 622
    Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought

    Why is a person in the apartment above walking up and down the room in high heels or steel-reinforced boots… over and over and over again?
    I don’t understand.

  123. 623
    SQB

    “Girl in the Fireplace” is my favourite too.

  124. 624
    Weedless Monkey

    I’ve been battling grain beetles today, when I got my “Communist Socialist Living under a Roof” money and could toss the infected flour, rolled oats, rice and stuff like that. Then I washed and vacuumed and Baygoned and washed again ALL THE THINGS in the pantry.

  125. 625
    Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden

    @Pteryxx

    Okay, comment copied to TD. Please remove my #616 to keep things fluffy here.

    My apologies to all.

  126. 626
    A. Noyd

    Giliell (#620)

    how do you call that in English, or does it even exist?

    It’s “parent’s night” in American English, too. Or, “parent-teacher conferences.”

    ~*~*~*~*~*~

    Beatrice (#622)

    Why is a person in the apartment above walking up and down the room in high heels or steel-reinforced boots… over and over and over again?

    I swear, sometimes my upstairs neighbor straps on cinder block shoes and goes for repeated excursions between the kitchen and small bedroom for half an hour at a time, with periodic rest stops that involve siting down and bouncing about in a very squeaky chair located right above my bed. Like, are they snacking on potato chips and getting one chip at a time from the kitchen? I don’t get it.

  127. 627
    Dalillama, Schmott Guy

    Beatrice
    Oh, I am so glad we haven’t got upstairs neighbors anymore. The last one we had sounded like she was running a roller rink/bowling alley for large, clumsy dogs. We never did figure out what the hell was actually going on.

  128. 628
    Tony! The Queer Shoop

    Warning: long post ahead

    I had another epiphany today. After I read the comments by Jackie @545 & Socio-Gen @552:

    Some of what you both said resonates with me. I never thought that certain social situations can make me more or less anxious
    For instance:
    1. No matter what job I have had, nor how long I worked there, whenever I spoke during store meetings, my heart would race, I would stammer a little, begin to shake (nothing bad, but I am definitely aware of it), and I think some element of fear is there too. Yet day in, day out, I work with these people, know their names and conversate with them. It’s only when everyone is gathered in one spot and I am the center of attention that this axiety hits.

    2. I do not like going to dinner, the movies, or the mall by myself. Though I have not felt any anxiety when going to the mall alone, there is some sort of nervousness there.

    3. Unless I absolutely have to, I almost never go someplace new or engage in certain activities alone. For instance, I mentioned (here) last year (?) that there is a Creation Store not far from my house. No one would go with me, so I never went.
    Likewise, I will not go on a cruise by myself (never been on one either). Nor will I venture to a new city on my own. Give me just one person that I know to hang out with, and everything is golden (some may recall that I referred to friends of this nature as security blankets?
    One of the most anxiety laden experiences occurred on one of my birthdays back in the late 90s. At the time I lived in Alabama and decided I was going to drive to Chattanooga, TN to check out some of their gay bars. I remember being so incredibly nervous when I found the place, and I almost turned around to go home. I probably should have bc even though I went in, I sat at the bar the whole time, and IIRC only drank a coke (I was old enough, but it was not until I turned 25/26 before I began to socially drink). I remember sitting at the bar thinking “Get up. Walk around. Go dance.”. It was my birthday, in winter, on a Saturday night and I sat alone at a bar drinking coke knowing no one for over 400 miles.

    4. Contrast that bar experience with any local bars. I can walk in, not talk to anyone, wander around, play video poker, drink…and feel at ease. The difference appears to be the bars are part ofmy Comfort Zone. I know the employees. I know the environment. I do not feel like a fish out of water, as if everyone is staring at me. That sounds vain, but I do not think in most of these experiences people look my way any more or less than they do someone else. I think that perception of people staring at me, pouring over my visible flaws is ME created and I suspect I know where some of that comes from.

    As a teen, I had *horrible* acne. There were days I would wake up and not look in the mirror bc I was ashamed. Blackheads, whiteheads, scarring…you could invite friends and play connect the dots on my forehead. For years I really felt deeply unnattractive. I bought various acne products, which did not help enough. In my early 20s I started exercising and weightlifting. Looking back I think it was an attempt to give people something to find attractive in me, since it would not be found above my shoulders.

    I have mentioned before that I stripped briefly in Birmingham, AL. Why?
    I had a negative view of my appearance, but a nice enough body to strip. I wanted to feel desired…attractive.

    Who wants to bet on how helpful that was?

    It wasn’t any.

    Being unable to get a date let alone a BF only reinforced my horrible self esteem. It is funny…despite the men I have been with, or the compliments I have gotten I could never accept that people looked at me thinking “what Nice looking man. No, no one would think that. It was a vicious circle.

    In my early 20s, I remember going to a department store in search of makeup to cover my acne, so it would not be so pronounced. I literally thought when people looked at me, all they saw was acne. Ironically, I was always able look past acne on others, but I just knew people were looking at me bc of mine. It took much of my 20s before I stopped getting acne. I still get a zit here or there, and I always notice them, but they do not bother me. I so wanted to minimize those fucking zits that bought makeup. Yeah, no big deal now. Makeup may be marketed to women, I know anyone can use it. Back then, I was worried more about my face that the stigma of a guy wearing makeup.

    Fuck, now certain things are making sense.
    When I first began frequenting gay bars, I quickly took to the dance floor. My mom taught me how to find the beat to songs as a kid, and in short time I found I enjoyed dancing. On the dance floor-with adequate space-once a song plays that I like, the world falls away. There is only me and the music. I am mixing up my tenses here, but this applies then and now. On the dance floor my worries are gone. I am not ugly or unattractive. I am not broke or just got fired. It is almost blisslike, I suppose. Save for the heart rate and sweat.

    Anyway, I started going out on weekends and dancing for hours. As part of this, I began taking an interest in shopping. I would buy sparkly shirts. Mesh shirts. Spandex shirts. I bought tons of watches, bracelets, rings, shoes and belts.

    All of this here, looking back NOW…I understand things so much better.

    I longed for attention plus validation that I was not the ugliest kid in the world. Everything revolved around how I looked. All bc our culture places so much importance on standards of beauty.
    Fuck that.

    One if the best things that has happened in my life was finding this place. I am still learning and growing.
    I swallowed the red pill to be sure.
    There iis so much in this world to be angered about. But part of that awareness involved my growth. Reading, listening, learning and participating here and likeminded blogs has been important beyond words.
    I have discovered passion. I never had that growing up. I lacked long term motivation and drive. Nothing moved me. Spend five minutes with my roommate or coworkers and they will attest to that passion.
    I also understand myself more.
    I accept myself more.
    I have a core set of values that informs everything that I say or do. These humanist values connect me to the rest of humanity…to the world.
    I finally found a foundation for ME. sure, it can and will grow and change. Opinions may change and I am open to such, dependent on the situation.

    But what I find really fucking amazing..?
    I value myself. I respect myself. I really like who I am*. Heck, I can look in the mirror with confidence (I still falter. Hard to shake 37 years of conditioning).

    And that is so much better than seeking validation based on my looks.

    *
    I told both my parents that last week. Both were happy. Mom, though, she said that made her week. Growing up, they knew how much I associated my appearance with my worth as a person. Just like the awesome people they are, they encouraged me, complimented me, and did their best to show that I had other amazing attributes.

  129. 629
    CaitieCat, getaway driver

    My noise complaint about my upstairs neighbour should be prefaced with, “and it’s not really unfair that they do it when they do it,”, because if they did it when I’m usually awake, they’d be keeping up the whole building. It’s not their fault I need an afternoon nap/lie down, around Second Medtime.

    But I do so hate their concrete drill, or concrete saw, or giant noisemaking factory, or whatever the frakking hell they’re doing up there. Fifteen seconds or so at a time, shakes the walls. Never varies in distance or loudness. Goes on for a couple of hours, some afternoons. And just irregular enough in rhythm to make it hard to tune out. Mergh.

  130. 630
    onion girl, OM; social workers do it with paperwork

    If you are a member of PET, please take a look at the current pinned thread for information about important changes. This is time-sensitive.

    If you have no idea what PET is, don’t worry about it. :)

  131. 631
    Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate)

    thanks for the headsup onion girl. Would have totally missed it, I don’t check in often.

  132. 632
    Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought

    Is there a book about those strange beings with their strange habits (Upstairs Neighbors)? Because there needs to exist one.

  133. 633
    Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate)

    Thanks for the hugs, Giliell. It’s surprising and sad. : /

  134. 634
    Walton

    Some good news! I saw a hedgehog in the garden this evening. :)

    (I love hedgehogs. Their numbers have declined in England in recent years, sadly.)

  135. 635
    Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate)

    “I don’t know if this is a millipede or a centipede, but it’s addooooorable. Want to hold him?”

    Popsy is my opposite sometimes, and I love it. She said “Oh, he’s a tickly one!” as it crawled across her hand. She’s back with her parents now. Sad.

  136. 636
    Inaji

    Walton:

    Some good news! I saw a hedgehog in the garden this evening.

    That is serious awesome. I’ve always wanted a hedgehog grumbling about.

  137. 637
    A. Noyd

    Any monitors around who can send an alert about Tat Wadjet in the Teaching while female thread?

  138. 638
    A. Noyd

    I don’t get why cats do that thing where they beg you to scratch their foreheads and then when you start to, they mash your hand between their face and the table/carpet/bed/whatever so you can’t actually move your fingers.

  139. 639
    gworroll

    A. Noyd @592

    What the fuck? [Note for others: That means "How much do you cost?"] I’m glad orientation covers not doing that, but if it’s a thing at all, it should be more firmly discouraged. Especially since American military personnel misbehavior in Japan notoriously doesn’t stop at the level of street harassment.

    It didn’t specifically cover not doing that, we were given some basic phrases we might need off base. I might be remembering it slightly wrong if that refers specifically to “you”(this was 16 years ago), but it was “how much does it cost” we were taught. The idea was that the woman would be offended, and slap your buddy. The prank wasn’t specifically discussed at orientation either positively or negatively.

    It really should have been. The 18 and 19 year old junior enlisted might have immaturity as a (partial)excuse, but the officers and NCOs should have known better and come down on us when crap like that went on.

    As for Doctor Who… I’ve loved Eleven. My favorite, slightly edging out Tom Baker(but only slightly, and possibly my memory of Eleven being more complete has a big part to play) There are issues in Moffatts tenure- by the time Amy left I wanted to scream at Moffatt “Dude, my eyes work, you don’t have to throw it in my face how good Karen Gillan looks!”. Sadly, it seems like Jenna Louise Coleman is getting much the same treatment.

    Most of what I’ve liked about Elevens tenure was the use of time travel as more a more fundamental story element than just transportation, and the general feel being more similar to the classic era than Nine or Tens run. Moffatt does have some gigantic blind spots in how he handles female characters, though.

  140. 640
    mouthyb, Vagina McTits

    Is there anything more tasty than stew that’s been on low heat for hours and hours? I think not!

    *burp* Melty potatoes and carrots, simmered down wine, butter, and broth, onions and garlic that have literally dissolved, and chunks of meat that want to go immediately to meat fluff when pressure is applied with the tongue. I’m glad stew ingredients are mostly cheap here.

    Happy labor day, all. I may have to rub my belleh for awhile.

  141. 641
    A. Noyd

    gworroll (#639)

    I might be remembering it slightly wrong if that refers specifically to “you”(this was 16 years ago), but it was “how much does it cost” we were taught.

    The words themselves don’t explicitly reference “you,” but while English relies heavily on pronouns, Japanese tends to leave unstated those parts of a sentence that can be inferred from context. So when you direct the question at a person, the “you” is understood. Good memory on your part, though. And I’m sad to hear that orientation didn’t actually warn newbies against the prank.

  142. 642
    Inaji

    A. Noyd:

    Any monitors around who can send an alert about Tat Wadjet in the Teaching while female thread?

    PZ is aware. Seems Tat took care of the problem, and had a high drama flounce.

  143. 643
    A. Noyd

    I should say, inferred from context or that were previously stated. Like, it’s very common to introduce a subject and then not mention the subject again explicitly until the subject changes. Though, some authors ignore this convention and introduce new subjects on the sly, which can confuse even native readers. And good luck if you’re trying to make sense of that as a translator.

  144. 644
    Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden

    @mouthyb

    I have a caribbean black bean stew in the slow cooker right now. In fact, it’s probably time for me to add the cilantro and sweet pepper about now.

    Can’t wait…2 hours to yumsville!

  145. 645
    hotshoe, now with more boltcutters

    Parrowing

    Is the bottom thread threaded as well?

    I was threading the bottom but it kept coming loose and unthreading itself while I was sewing.

    The bobbin is inserted in the wrong direction. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s the problem.

    Tug the bobbin out of the case; flip the bobbin over from whichever direction it was when you took it out, slip it into the bobbin case, pull the thread backwards into the thread-groove/slot on the edge of the bobbin case. You will feel tension on the bobbin thread when you pull it up in the center of the slot.

    Draw the bobbin thread up through the feed plate hole, and should be good to go.

  146. 646
    mouthyb, Vagina McTits

    Crip Dyke: I love slow cookers. LOVE THEM. Especially since I don’t have to attend them often, and can just fill ‘em up and mostly leave them alone for 4-8 hours.

    Also, that stew sounds good. Black beans are delicious.

  147. 647
    Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate)

    My sewer/quilter aunt recommends one of these for my forays into quilting and sewing, as opposed to the cheap crappy one I bought for $100. They run $350 to $600, from what the internet tells me. I found one for $150…we’ll see if I can get my hands on it :D :D :D

  148. 648
    cicely

    Welcome in, gworroll!
    -

    Okay, I’ll say it: Gwen and Rhys had a terrible relationship.

    I agree.
    And Owen was a creep. No question, no doubt.
    -

  149. 649
    Pteryxx

    Check it… and the noise being made in comments. Sheesh.

    http://skepchick.org/2013/09/how-skepchick-got-booted-from-dragoncon-today/

  150. 650
    Esteleth, [an error occurred while processing this directive]

    Heya Crip Dyke! The knitting is proceeding apace. I have enough that you can actually see the pattern, if you want pics. :D

  151. 651
    Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden

    @mouthyb

    Original recipe

    Of course, we don’t make it exactly that way. Often orange & yellow peppers are more expensive than red. I’m all about presentation & love the multi-colored pepper thing when I have money, but just use 3 sweet peppers.

    Also, the bay leaf helps mellow & sweeten by removing acid, but doesn’t add a lot of flavor on its own. BECAUSE we have carrots, we can ditch the bay leaf. If we didn’t have carrots (which also remove acid, but add even more sweetness), we’d probably want the bay leaf.

    The salt called for was way too much for me, but I almost never use salt in cooking (baking, yes; cooking, no). I use about 1/3 to 1/2 of a tablespoon and its still a bit heavy for me, but it’s no longer excessive in a bad way. Ms CD likes it in that range or I would reduce it further. If you’re someone that really likes salt, I’d say you can go back to the full tablespoon, but not a grain more.

    For heat, they add Tobasco sauce, but I use Sri Racha which is my general-purpose hot sauce. I add a couple teaspoons instead of the 1/2 teaspoon of Tobasco.

    If you used canned black beans (which we do sometimes – it’s nice to use dry beans, but sometimes you just don’t wanna have to soak), use 2 cans (of 16-19 oz each) to replace 1 pound of dry beans.

    Although black beans are good in this and the original recipe, black eyed peas work well, too. I have used 1 can black beans & 1 can black eyed peas on one occasion in a different recipe and liked it even more than the 2 cans of black beans for which the recipe called. I’ll probably try that in this recipe eventually.

    I’ve added vegan sour cream to the top when serving, and Ms CD loves sour cream (vegan or not), but I found it perfect without any cream at all.

    Like any hot food, alcohol will clean off your tongue so the heat doesn’t build up, so it’s not a bad idea to serve with beer or wine.

    Serving bread with a bean stew is, of course, also traditional. I use a coarse whole-wheat & flax bread to start, then mix 1/2 margarine & 1/2 olive oil with lots of garlic & smear it on before baking the smeared slices. The garlicky bread adds wonderfully to the stew.

  152. 652
    Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden

    @Esteleth:

    Yay for the knitting! I’d love to see pics. Send them my way!

  153. 653
  154. 654
    mouthyb, Vagina McTits

    Crip Dyke: Ooooo! I will be eating that soon.

    Speaking of black beans: the local good drinks and snacks bar locally serves nachos with a pool of black bean puree at the bottom. If I ever figure that out, I’ll post the recipe. It’s good enough to where people will push the chips, cheese and whatnot out of the way to eat it with a spoon (and by people I mean me.)

  155. 655
    Esteleth, [an error occurred while processing this directive]

    My Pandora feed is fired.

    First it gives me “Cola” by Lana Del Rey (you know, the song that opens with “My pussy tastes like cherry cola / my eyes are wide like whoopie pies”). Then it gives me “Pomp and Circumstance.”

    This is not the first time it has done something like this.

    (side note: if your pussy tastes like cherry cola, go see your gynecologist!)

  156. 656
    NightShadeQueen, resident nutcase

    Esteleth

    That’s pretty awesome. I’ve never really tried my hand at colorwork [too many strands of yarn hanging off of a piece, heh]. Is it fair isle or slipped stitches?

    [Also - your cat is adorable]

  157. 657
    gworroll

    Esteleth @655-

    My Apoptygma Berzerk station has landed on Darude – Sandstorm. It’s also started approaching modern pop after a turn through some 80s synthpop, but I aborted that one pretty quickly.

    I don’t mind it going a little off- if I wanted a strict adherence to a genre or artist I’d build the playlist myself. But sometimes I wonder if the Pandora admins are taking over manual control and deliberately messing with me.

  158. 658
    Inaji

    Pteryxx:

    Check it… and the noise being made in comments. Sheesh.

    http://skepchick.org/2013/09/how-skepchick-got-booted-from-dragoncon-today/

    How interestin’. I see getting banned here didn’t put a dent in brive1987′s desire to be a bigger asshole.

  159. 659
    Esteleth, [an error occurred while processing this directive]

    Slipping, NightShade. Pretty simple really.

    Row A is “with color 1, kx, sly.”
    Row B is “with color 1, purl all in color 1, and slip all in color 2.”
    Row C is “with color 2, kx’, sly’.”
    Row D is “with color 2, purl all in color 2, and slip all in color 1.”

    Which means that while you’re working one color, the other yarn is hanging out at the end and isn’t used at all.

  160. 660
    Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate)

    Row A is “with color 1, kx, sly.”
    Row B is “with color 1, purl all in color 1, and slip all in color 2.”
    Row C is “with color 2, kx’, sly’.”
    Row D is “with color 2, purl all in color 2, and slip all in color 1.”

    I’m going to have to rewatch all the youtube videos that taught me what these things mean. Darn it. (Heh heh).

  161. 661
    Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden

    @Esteleth,

    Chapter 14, in which I deliver an extended off topic rumination on Lana Del Rey’s lyrics and pussy eating.

    There was once an incredibly sexist joke I was told about a chemist who invents a spray. Foods coated with the spray taste like “vagina” (Vaginal mucus? Orgasmic fluids? Female ejaculate? Something else? – the joke was non-specific). He (of course, “he”) patents it, then goes out to sell it. Whereupon he is told it is worthless, but that if he can come up with a spray to make “vagina” taste like other foods he’d have a valuable product.

    I have never enjoyed this joke, even though told it before I had anything like a real feminist consciousness (playground yelling that the boys were being sexist for excluding girls aside, of course, I’m talking about feminist education & analysis here, not a child’s response to blatant sexism). At the time I had no idea what “vagina” tasted like. Later, it was so obvious that there are so many flavors that it seemed weird. Plus, exactly why is it bad?

    Now, I admit it would be creepy to be eating an orange that tasted like one of my partners, but only because those flavors in my life occur only in one context. But I know lots of dykes and even a queer boy or two who would pay for that.

    in the meantime, tasting like cola isn’t necessarily a gynecological issue: drinking vast quantities of cola has changed the flavor of one partner of mine. Sort of like asparagus and pee, that liquid goes somewhere…

    I guess.

  162. 662
    Esteleth, [an error occurred while processing this directive]

    k is knit. sl is slip.

    So when you knit you do the wrap-and-pull-through trick with the tail in the back. Slipping is just taking the loop from one needle and sliding it to the other while doing nothing else to it. Purling is the same as knitting, except that the tail is in front.

  163. 663
    Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate)

    Thanks! It’s coming back to me now.

    I got some pretty DPNs today, they’re all swirly inside clear plastic. I’m going to make all the hats.

  164. 664
    Esteleth, [an error occurred while processing this directive]

    True enough, CD, except that cherry cola has an utter revolting sickly-sweet flavor that (IMO) is indicative of a yeast infection.

  165. 665
    Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden

    @Esteleth

    Coming along nicely! (the knitting, I mean)

    i should post pics of our new kitty. 3 months now! She’s amazingly well-behaved for a barn cat (which she was for the first 2 months).

  166. 666
    Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate)

    Esteleth;

    I really like the pattern that results from that…pattern. :)

  167. 667
    Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden

    Since I never drink cherry cola, I’ll accept your conclusions on that front. I certainly know the scent & flavor associated with yeast infections. In fact, I have had a partner use my nose as a diagnostic tool. I was only claiming it’s not automatically a yeast infection.

  168. 668
    Esteleth, [an error occurred while processing this directive]

    If you’re on Ravelry, it is a free download. Called “Asthore Bag.”

  169. 669
    Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate)

    I am on ravelry, and will look it up. Thanks!

  170. 670
    A. Noyd

    Crip Dyke (#661)

    There was once an incredibly sexist joke I was told about a chemist who invents a spray.

    Remember this? (Not a flavoring, but a perfume.)

  171. 671
    gobi's sockpuppet's meatpuppet

    Speaking of black beans: the local good drinks and snacks bar locally serves nachos with a pool of black bean puree at the bottom.

    - mouthyb #654
     
    Oh yum! I orderd nachos on the weekend and was once again disappointed. I will never learn.
    Nachos here is corn chips, some boring out-of-the jar salsa, a blob of sour cream, puréed avocado and cheese – the wrong cheese! Beans? What are those? Guacamole? Huh?
    …and everything is ‘mild spicyness’ or bland. Bland.
    There is Guzman y Gomez in the city which isn’t too bad, but I just wish eateries would stop putting the word ‘nachos’ in their menus only to serve decorated corn chips.
     
    Slowcooker. Mmmmmmmm. Thank you so much for mentioning that! If I go get the ingredients now it can be ready in time. Will be a nice surprise dinner :)

  172. 672
    Crip Dyke, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden

    @ A. Noyd.

    The definition of a Poe. I have no idea if that website is a parody, a scam, or neither.

    Veddy interesting…

  173. 673
    Portia (aka Smokey the Advocate)

    And now I’m in the Ravelry Rabbithole. Ravelry:Portia::TvTropes:Everybodyelse.

  174. 674
    Weedless Monkey

    Hedgehogs are awesome indeed. The previous autumn there was one in my apartment building’s bushes that would come to check me out when I went out for a “it’s 4 AM, no-one to bug me” pipe. It, or perhaps its progeny, seem to be back. :)

    And there’s another one I know of a few hundred metres away, but it lives in a dangerous neighbourhood. I only saw it because it was hanging around in the middle of a paved… whaddayacallit? The thing where you can walk and ride a bike, but not drive a car?

    Anywhoo, I pushed it to the side of the road, but when I was coming back from the grocery store, it was in the middle of the road again.

  175. 675
    mouthyb, Vagina McTits

    gobi: That makes me sad. The bar here does marinated, grilled chicken strips, homemade chipotle salsa, tortilla chips, bean puree, homemade nacho cheese sauce (made like one makes welsh rarebit–with a roux, boatloads of cheddar and green chilies), sour cream and most of a salad on top, including half an avocado.

    Wish I could send them through the USB ports. It’s relatively cheap for piles of it. The large is literally a platter of nachos.

    They also do the best cheeseburgers (ground steak FTW) and wings in town. Best wings I’ve ever had at a restaurant.

    …..I may need to go to the bar tomorrow and do takeout.

  176. 676
    PZ Myers

    NEW THREAD.

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