You know how it goes: you’re in some sensitive position, like running for political office, trying to get tenure, or the college of cardinals is reviewing your candidacy for the papacy, but you just can’t keep your cell phone in your pants — you’ve gotta send pictures of your penis to random women. We’ve all been there, am I right, guys? So you need a pseudonym. A cool synonym. One that will look really good when your peccadillos hit the newspapers.
Fortunately for those of us with limited imaginations, we now have a Carlos Danger name generator.
Ladies, check your phones for an extra special message from Diego Smash.
And delete it on sight, because it sure as heck isn’t from me.
Larry Craig => Fernando Furtive
Ooh, I got a good one.
…I’m actually really tempted to start going by this. Goddammit.
Víctor Clandestine. Misgendered. I bet they didn’t expect any women would like a creepy pseudonym.
Yeah, I got Efraín Verboten. What the hell is that? I don’t even think that’s going to work with the German ladies.
I love mine!
Benito Clandestine!
Marcos Risk.
How boring.
“Javier Covert”
Hmmm… new ‘nym?
Jorge Calamity. Could be a description of gw bush.
Their database is too big, so it didn’t immediately give a fix-point or cycle.
Someone please discover some.
…You know, it’s not that I care whether or not he’s faithful to his wife, and I’d expect him to lie to the press about this, but FFS Anthony: pick someone who WANTS to talk to you. Chances are better that she won’t expose you.
Dumbass.
It’s my understanding that (at least) this one was consensual. Soo.. what’s the problem? Other then a really facepalm inducing pseudonym.
Crap.
Tried to plug my name in, but the page keeps shifting up and down uncontrollably and I cant see which box I am plugging my info into.
shockwaver: The first was not really consentual (as in ‘surprise, dick pictures’), and sending dick pictures to women you think might want to see it is creepy. I don’t have any way of knowing if he’s continuing to do this, but it does make me wonder. Political figures in general have a miserable track record when it comes to respectful sexual behavior.
And, as I mentioned in the comment above you, his marriage is between himself and his wife. I do resent the use of political wives as a prop when the husband confesses to infidelity–I’m not sure that his actions are infidelity in the context of his relationship, but I am sure that making your partner an accessory to public opinion is also creepy.
“Alejandro Covert”
Not too subtle, is it?
Thumper, are we cousins?
Interesting. Putting in my “Carlos Danger” name into the generator gives me “Narciso Evil.”
Putting in my real name comes out Esteban Smash. Putting in my pseudonym/login name comes out Ernesto Scourge. I like that second one, it sounds like a pirate.
“Paco Dynamite”
@Skip White, I tried going down the rabbit hole starting with Carlos Danger and repeatedly putting in the result and got Ernesto Scourge at some point. I did not put in Skip White. I wonder what their algorithm is?
It really should just spit out PZ’s suggestion every time.
Uh, didn’t you know there’s no such thing as a candidacy for the papacy? Every cardinal below the age limit, willing or not, is a candidate. In theoretical fact, every male Catholic is a candidate, but I think only cardinals and particularly famous hermits have ever been elected, everyone else being unknown to the voting cardinals.
And here I was all happy that I managed to grab the name “CarlosDanger” on the Lineage 2 server I play on. Dark elf, naturally.
Should I be concerned that it gave me my own name back?
“Jose Trouble”.
There’s definitely a comedy script hiding there.
Pope Ralph.
Guillermo Sly
AKA Viktor Death
Man is it too late to change my pseudonym?
@Jacob Schmidt
Yeah, I think I remember you from Auntie Karen’s wedding. Hey cuz! *waves*
You know when I want to send pictures of my glorious member to random ladiez, I proudly use my real name: Marcus Massive!
Marcelo Menace. I love it!
I got José Distress…
These generators never give me good names.
Osvaldo Hazard signing in :)
Jose Death.
Feliciano Clandestine
Miguel Angel Evil
I kinda like mine.
@gussnarp #18:
It’s javascript. So you can look at the page’s source.
There are two fixed lists: first and last names.
What you type is converted to uppercase.
If you’re “ANTHONY WEINER”, you get “Carlos Danger”.
Otherwise it basically hashes your first and last names (sums up unicode values of each character; though subtracting 64 to make numbers, basic punctuation, and control chars before U+0041 negative).
The average of the first and last hashes become a new first name ‘score’, and their sum is a new last name ‘score’.
The scores are modulo’d against the array sizes (to end up with an index from 0 to size-1) to finally choose the new names from the arrays.
* Actually, the negative characters can cause the index to drop below zero (see below), which yields “undefined” names.
Article: Wikipedia – Modulo operation, Common pitfalls
My Carlos Danger name for my real name (“Marcelo Verboten”) kind of sucks. (Or does it blow? I’m confused now.)
My CD name for my ‘nym is “Ignacio Kill”. Meh.
In both cases I think the first name sets up something interesting, but the second name kills it.
So, my partner’s name generates BERNARDO KILL. And my first name also generates Bernardo, which is a funny coincidence. What’s not so funny about it is the coincidence that the generated name shares with Paul Bernardo (use Google, if you must) and the fact that this Anthony Weiner is also preying on women, albeit in a less murderous way.
It just ups the creep factor for me and highlights just how inappropriate (understatement?) Weiner’s actions are.
Say hello to…
SANTIAGO BADASS.
♫ Omar Violence is completely heterosexual,
Omar Violence is completely heterosexual… ♫
Sounds like someone looking for a privileged planet.
Mariano Catastrophe – sounds about right.
@36
I am so stealing that for something. I don’t know what, but something.
Biggus Dickus?
Juan Sly or Benito Distress depending on if it’s my birthname or Hebrew name
Not a problem. I don’t have a cell phone and won’t be getting one. I had one back when they were just “phones”. I have enough stuff intruding on my attention without the annoyance of texting etc. I want to be less available, not more available.
My wife has dibs on my junk, so no photos of that go anywhere.
People just do shit on the internet without any engagement of the brain. Sheesh.
I got Jaime Evil…
That bites. I’m stealing Santiago Badass.
“Fernando Verboten”?
No way. I want to be taken seriously. *twitches his tail*
Oh, but cell phones are great for being less available. The college-age students I know who keep their cell phones attached to them at all times are virtually impossible to reach.
poopy head → Gustavo Catastrophe
Julio Furtive?
Bleah
Feliciano Adventure!
Sounds like a video game based on flamenco-tinged pop music….
My real name generated Pablo Sly.
bleh
So I entered that and got Ariel Adventure.
yes!
Marcelo. That’s not bad, actually.
The name’s Julio; Julio Scourge. Prepare to be ‘boarded’, Ladies.
Julio Scourge -> Manolo Badass
Shouldn’t every name return “Collossal Dumbass” ?
Per the BBC story I was just reading, Weiner is quoted as saying at a news conference on Tuesday, “I don’t believe I had any more than three…” He doesn’t believe he had more than three of these relationships in the last year or two? Was he not paying attention? He can’t really remember how many sideshows he’s been running in the last year or so, yet he claims to be capable of running New York City? Really? His standing in the polls should be 0 and he should just disappear off the American political stage.
I watched a clip where he said ” not dozens and dozens , but probably 6 – 10.” So he had so many he couldn’t even keep that straight, and I have to think that to get to that number there were probably a lot of swings and misses also ( as in lots more sexual harassment stories waiting to come out)
I tried George Zimmerman and got an appropriate name: Marcelino Menace..