Comments

  1. David Marjanović says

    Completely threadrupt.

    Mars apparently had noticeable amounts of oxygen in its atmosphere four (!) billion years ago, and (as suggested in 2003) plate tectonics. Disclaimer: I’m relying on the usual German news service – I don’t understand most of the paper.

    High-molecular-mass hyaluronan mediates the cancer resistance of the naked mole rat
    Abstract:

    “The naked mole rat (Heterocephalus glaber) displays exceptional longevity, with a maximum lifespan exceeding 30 years1, 2, 3. This is the longest reported lifespan for a rodent species and is especially striking considering the small body mass of the naked mole rat. In comparison, a similarly sized house mouse has a maximum lifespan of 4 years4, 5. In addition to their longevity, naked mole rats show an unusual resistance to cancer. Multi-year observations of large naked mole-rat colonies did not detect a single incidence of cancer2, 6. Here we identify a mechanism responsible for the naked mole rat’s cancer resistance. We found that naked mole-rat fibroblasts secrete extremely high-molecular-mass hyaluronan (HA), which is over five times larger than human or mouse HA. This high-molecular-mass HA accumulates abundantly in naked mole-rat tissues owing to the decreased activity of HA-degrading enzymes and a unique sequence of hyaluronan synthase 2 (HAS2). Furthermore, the naked mole-rat cells are more sensitive to HA signalling, as they have a higher affinity to HA compared with mouse or human cells. Perturbation of the signalling pathways sufficient for malignant transformation of mouse fibroblasts fails to transform naked mole-rat cells. However, once high-molecular-mass HA is removed by either knocking down HAS2 or overexpressing the HA-degrading enzyme, HYAL2, naked mole-rat cells become susceptible to malignant transformation and readily form tumours in mice. We speculate that naked mole rats have evolved a higher concentration of HA in the skin to provide skin elasticity needed for life in underground tunnels. This trait may have then been co-opted to provide cancer resistance and longevity to this species.”

    How does that work? Quote from farther down:

    “Our previous studies identified a novel anticancer mechanism in the naked mole rat, termed early contact inhibition (ECI)7. Contact inhibition is a process of arresting cell growth when cells come in to contact with each other or the extracellular matrix. Contact inhibition is a powerful anticancer mechanism that is lost in cancer cells8. Naked mole-rat cells arrest at a much lower density than mouse cells, and the loss of ECI makes cells more susceptible to malignant transformation7. However, the signals triggering ECI in naked mole rats remained unknown.”

  2. says

    Also a bit ‘rupt, *hugs* and meringues for them as wants.

    rq

    (To be honest, movie formats lately have been pissing me off – especially the action ones requiring a dramatic final fight between the Lone Good Guy and the Lone Bad Guy who have previously evaded death purely by accident. The Hobbit added that whole orc side-story for that express purpose (I’m pretty sure), which is that movie’s biggest fail.

    I found the biggest fail to be that they spent all their time making a historical documentary of Middle Earth, and hardly any time actually developing any of the characters we were supposed to be following or getting us to care about them, personally.

    Speaking of movies, but completely off-topic, why is Quentin Tarantino considered such a genius?

    Basically, his reputation rests mostly on Pulp Fiction, and to a lesser extent Reservoir Dogs. Pulp Fiction was primarily hailed for innovative storytelling technique and reuse of presumed dead tropes in a modern setting (both of which are valid praises, incidentally; the way the story is told is very well executed. The story itself is another question, and is certainly not a lot of people’s cup of tea). Reservoir Dogs is considered an excellentexample of the heist -film genre, with strong characterization and character interaction that doesn’t detract from the action, but a)those who aren’t fans of violent heist films will be left cold, and b)those who are would do better to find a copy of Ringo Lam’s City on Fire, of which Tarantino’s film is basically a remake set in America, and which does both action and character far better.

    Kind of like all those people who say Game of Thrones are such amazing and forward-thinking books, breaking all these barriers for women-characters, etc., showing a violent era in all its glorious violence, the way nobody else has done it

    …what. Seriously? I’m going to have to assume that these are people who didn’t read fantasy until they started showing Game of Thrones on the teevee and made it cool, then, because that’s the stupidest damn thing I’ve heard so far this morning. For powerful women characters in a liberated setting, you’ll be wanting Mercedes Lackey, Marion Zimmer Bradley, Ursula K Leguin, Amanda Downum, Patricia Briggs, Tanya Huff, David Weber, and so many more it would be tedious to go on. If you want a little of the old ultraviolence, try Weber again, S.M. Stirling, Richard Morgan, David Drake, Glen Cook, and more. These lists, incidentally, were compiled by looking around my house, because my memory for names is shit. If I actually took some time at it and dredged up memories and library records and the like I could easily double that list, and they all do it at least as well as Martin does.

  3. David Marjanović says

    Oh god. I had a huge missive written about our experience with child and diagnoses, and was typing the last sentence, and apparently managed to hit ctrl+A followed by the next letter, and lost it all. :( Dammit dammit dammit. And I don’t have the time or mental strength for a rewrite. I’ll try again later if it comes up again.

    Ctrl+Z works everywhere, on every operating system I’ve been exposed to, in all programs (though in some just once, and in some not for every action), and on every keyboard layout (it’s still Ctrl+Z on the German one, where Z and Y are exchanged compared to the English one, not Ctrl+Y).

    The little things nobody teaches us and everybody expects us to either absorb by osmosis or figure out by playing around. *sigh*

    I do recommend playing around, though. Computers are not for grown-ups.

  4. David Marjanović says

    though in some just once

    …and in some, pressing it twice undoes the undoing, so it restores what you just undid. That’s incidentally Ctrl+Y in some programs.

  5. carlie says

    Ok, trial 2. It’s a tl;dr for sure. ;)

    The biggest thing that getting a diagnosis did for us was that it reframed the narrative of our lives, and that’s not really an exaggeration. It meant that I was not a bad mom, and he was not a bad kid. We were lucky to live several states away from family and to not have many ok any friends we did family things with because even at that distance, we heard a lot of “you’re spoiling him” and “he’s ruling the house” and such. We left two preschools, one for which the last straw was when we heard him being called “the bad kid” by other toddlers because they had heard it from the teachers. We had experimented and clawed our way up to figuring out some of the things we needed to do to help him navigate his world, but those were all seen as capitulations by friends and family. We were letting him control us by telling him exactly how many stores we were going to and in what order and not deviating from that. We were pandering to him by not making him wear the clothes that made him throw a tantrum. “All that kid needs is a good spanking.” We’d helplessly try to explain that “letting him cry it out” actually meant two hours of straight full-throat screaming crying until it made him throw up.

    But once we got the diagnosis that we got, suddenly it all made sense. He really couldn’t cope with drastic changes in the schedule without notice. That scratchy sweater was physical torture. Etc., etc. If we had taken the advice we’d been given, it would have been like stomping across broken glass while wearing army boots, yelling at the barefoot kid to stop whining that it hurt to walk there. And without the diagnosis, we wouldn’t have even noticed that he didn’t have shoes, so we wouldn’t have known why he was crying about it. (to stretch the metaphor) We were vindicated in our parenting methods being right for him, and more importantly, we got good advice on how to do it even better. He got counseling at school that, over the course of all of elementary school, got his recovery time from meltdowns down from 2 hours to 5 minutes or sometimes not even reacting badly. He got a behavior plan that sent him to the counselor for support instead of the principal for detention when things went wrong. His teachers added in extra notifications of time limits and countdowns and schedule changes (and he always was the first to know of an impending fire drill :) ). They made seating charts that put him next to patient and kind kids. He was taught how to make small talk and greet people and what to do to try to make friends. If we hadn’t gotten that support, well… I don’t like to think about what would have happened to him.

    That said, though, being put through it as a parent isn’t all fun. No matter how much you mull possibilities over in your mind, there’s no way to prepare for how someone sitting there saying “Your child has x” will make you suddenly hurt in all the guilty and worrisome ways you never even knew possible, or how it will sometimes sneak up months and years later and sucker punch you in the gut when you don’t expect it. There’s worry, and there’s worrying about worrying, and there’s guilt, and there’s guilt about feeling guilty, and there’s “why can’t it just be easier”, and there’s berating yourself for even thinking something like that because your kid is so fantastic and so many people have it harder than you. It sounds like a jerk to say “you can’t know how it is unless you’ve lived through it”, but it’s true. But that’s ok, too. For me, it opened me up to understanding the range of what other people might be going through in a way that had only been theoretical before, and I like to think that it’s made me a more tolerant and accommodating person. And what really helps is that if you have a particular diagnosis, you can find other families who have gone through the same thing, and those people are worth gold to commiserate with and get tips from and just to feel like you’re not alone.

  6. carlie says

    …and in some, pressing it twice undoes the undoing, so it restores what you just undid.

    AUGH! :D

  7. opposablethumbs says

    carlie, so much of that is close to our experience – So. Damn. Much. (except the little kid I heard talking about how he didn’t want to play with “the nasty boy” was … his cousin. Fortunately everybody has forgotten all about this now, because things have changed so much over the years (although I don’t seem to have quite forgotten it. Shit like that hurts (and of course I don’t blame the cousin, he was just a littlie at the time; I just remember it hurting))).

    rq, if you want to check back on the previous page I put in a little bit of info about music therapy and speech therapy in case it might be relevant to your friends. It’s at comment #496 just before we hit this here new page that is this one, here, that is new :-)

  8. carlie says

    If anyone is interested, I discovered this blog a month or two ago: My son is not Rainman. He is a single parent in the UK of a kid with autism and cerebral palsy, and is a comedian who has a show about such things. Can’t see the show, but the blog is funny and touching and all that good stuff.

    although I don’t seem to have quite forgotten it.

    I wasn’t quite as quick as I should have been on some of the shielding I should have done, because Child 2 remembers more of it than I thought he would. I was excited about signing him up for a week of a day camp a bit ago, and he said “But I can’t go there, I got kicked out from that school” (a community college that runs a variety of weeklong day camps every summer). And he did get removed from one of their camps, but when he was maybe 8. So we had a talk about how much he’d grown and developed and all the self-control he has now and how well he does in school, so it should be just fine now.

    That’s actually a good example of how it can hit me – signing up for day camp, such a fun thing, suddenly breaks into a pile of tiny shards stabbing me everywhere while I’m trying to sweep them up and keep them from touching him and being sad that it’s happening this way but guilty that I think of it as a bad thing when it’s just him and it was just the way things were and not a big deal, really, but it still hurts.

    But anyway. That stinks that it was your own nephew, opposeablethumbs. That makes it harder to forget. That’s at least something we were mostly shielded from, living farther away.

  9. says

    Thanks for sharing, carlie
    I may come back for your offer to mail you.
    At the moment I’m pretty torn between everything.
    It’s pretty hard for me to watch her and not see signs for this and signs for that or signs for not-this and not-that (and often within the course of 5 minutes.)
    These things need to be checkt by professionals, no way around it.
    I think that if she is somewhere on the spectrum she’s probably somewhere on the border. Some things say yes, like freaking out completely because you put the veggies in the wrong place of the plate, others say no like her actual talent to show feelings and non-verbal communication in her drawings. One of the amazing things, I can see whether the people and animals are happy or sad or tired.
    She is only mildly “problematic”, and socially accepted which might be due to her being such a cute girl. Gender stereotypes ftw…
    And she’s plain and simply amazing. I just got told a good night story about the little snuggly otter and his bad brothers. A coherent story she made up on the spot.
    Well, I’ll wait until she is asleep and then I’ll call my friend again…

  10. rq says

    opposablethumbs
    Thanks for the reminder, I got a chance to read your post before I had to go out. Thank you, and I may talk to my friend about putting you in touch with her, if that’s ok – she speaks English well, so communicating shouldn’t be a problem. It’s just that this country is so behind in a lot of therapies, a lot of methods… I don’t even know where to begin.
    And a giant Thank You to carlie and opposablethumbs for sharing your stories. As a parent of (so far) ‘normal’ children, I appreciate the view from the parents of other children, if only to have a better idea of how to react if I meet children/the parents of children with disorders of the sort. To not be condescending, but to try to be supportive. Not to judge, but to ask if there’s anything that can help them, if there’s any way I can help their child feel comfortable/welcome in a particular environment. I think you are amazing parents and amazing people. ♥

    ednaz
    Looks like you missed me after all! :)

    Dalillama
    Oh I’ve read my share of Strong Female Characters (msot of the authors you listed in fact) and also violent sci-fi, and you’re right – which was my point, that Game of Thrones isn’t The Best example in the genre… It just happens to be the most popular at the moment. Kind of like 50 Shades has become the model for kinky romantic novels, even though it’s complete shit, or how the Twilight series is the model for vampire romances, even though it’s complete shite. I read Game of Thrones expecting a whole lot more than I got, to be honest… and they’re just way too long. Headed the way of Wheel of Time, if you ask me, and that was atrocious business. I don’t think I got past the first four books of that series.
    As for Tarantino, so he’s one of those who made a reputation and now… does more of the same? I think my biggest issue with him is the glorification of violence. You know, how a whole lot ofgory violence will solve all problems and set things right and… Make You a Man? *shrug* I don’t see the point of it. But maybe that’s because I work in a field that deals with the result of violence. When you don’t have to clean it up, you get a different point of view about the utility and purpose of such violence. Which could be said about a lot of things.

  11. opposablethumbs says

    eh, carlie, it was just one of those moments – I guess it stuck in my mind because it was family and in our own home, but it was just part of what was going on back then. Sometimes I think it’s no bad thing for me to remember, because the situation has changed a lot (most people now just don’t see all that much that’s atypical about him. Adults just think he’s a bit awkward; it’s kids his own age who tend to steer clear …) and of course one tends to suppress painful memories; I don’t want to elide it all out of existence. And of course it’s possible that there could be a genetic element; I don’t know how likely that is … anyway, it probably sort of needs to be remembered, if that doesn’t sound too silly.
    .
    rq, I’d be happy to pass on any little thing I can – not that I have much! Lemme see, is there some way I can send you my email without posting it publicly? I don’t have a book of face :-\
    (suppertime now – bakson or at least soon-ish)

  12. says

    rq

    Oh I’ve read my share of Strong Female Characters (msot of the authors you listed in fact) and also violent sci-fi, and you’re right – which was my point, that Game of Thrones isn’t The Best example in the genre

    Oh, I understand, I was just provoked to a mini-rant of m own by the existence of people claiming it is.

  13. rq says

    Dalillama
    Perfectly understood and probably definitely warranted. :) I wish people read more of a genre before declaring something The Best or Most [descriptor] just because it’s popular. Analytical thinking – not everyone does it. *hugs* for you, by the way, just in case you feel the need.

    opposablethumbs
    You can hotmail me at taarpinsh at the hotmail dot com, if you like. I can pass on my more personal gee-mail from there. Although I’m not too protective of my identity and it’s all obvious anyway.

    +++
    Good night, all! *hugs* for them’s as desire, other *gestures* available for them’s that don’t!

  14. says

    I wish people read more of a genre before declaring something The Best or Most [descriptor] just because it’s popula

    I suppose that it might be most realistically violent fantasy series with the strongest female characters of those which have been made into TV series and/or major movies, but that’s really not a very high hurdle to cross, I’m afraid.

  15. opposablethumbs says

    email sent, rq.
    .
    Good night Horde, with assorted hugs and good wishes.

  16. says

    Ack, back from 9days work travelling + a week of catching up on work. I read everything but don’t have time/spoons to make all the comments I’d like. From my notes…

    Jackie, congrats on new family.
    Azkyroth (+ Beatrice and those that supported him) thanks for standing up on the non-douchiness of particular hats; I’m a little disappointed how that played out here … I thought we as a community would have done better
    rowanvt laser pointers + cats = always fun. My son can get his cat so wound up in tight circles that he, the cat, gets dizzy and falls over
    Og and others in need. [dumps pile of Hugs, cookies for any and all]
    Cerberus good to see you back.
    Giliell welcome to the club on non-neurotypical children; sorry to say it’s probably going to be a bumpy ride. Hugs and sympathy.
    iJoe congrats on getting into school; I know quite a number of engineers, once you get past their use of j instead of i for imaginary numbers they can be quite pleasant.

    carlie @506. Damn, you made me cry. Now I have to wait a while before I can leave the office and head home. Yeah, our family took a very similar path. Spawn doesn’t have the tactile sensory issue to nearly that extent (sounds? lights?), but pretty much everything else is familiar. Schools were varied in how well they dealt with him until middle school which was something of a disaster. We’ve dealing with headaches and nausea which the school wanted to write off as slacking.

    That last paragraph … yeah, that. Oh, and also 509. So often I feel we’re failing him, but all the alternatives appear to be worse.

  17. logicpriest says

    I’m mostly a skulker but I needed a place to rant :( I was harassed on the twitters because I responded to a clever Amanda Marcotte post and then they proceeded to report and/or block ME! That is all. :'( Got my account banned.

  18. says

    Question for any or all-
    I chose to donate to Skepticon as my first financial gesture of support for an organization in this movement. I also chose to join-with membership donation-secular Woman. I am beginning to slowly claw my way out of financial instability, though I do not have a lot of free time at present. I would like to get involved with activism to some degree in meatspace, with LGBT rights and women’s rights as two I feel strongly about. But I don’t know how to go about getting involved, nor what activities I could take part in given my lack of time and budgetary issues.

  19. says

    chigau, glad to hear that…

    —–

    Recovering from melt-down by certain family individuals … unreasonableness + angry words + low blood sugar; never a good mix. Everyone takes a 30min time out and now we’re mostly good …[sigh]

  20. carlie says

    *lots of hugs* to dontpanic. It’s its whole own thing, isn’t it.
    And time-outs can be magic. :)

    Yay Chigau!

    logicpriest – I think you can appeal somehow to get it restored. :(

    Thanks, rq. :)

    Giliell – testing is done differently everywhere, but I can tell you what we did. I have no idea if it’s a normal eval or not, because it was done at a teaching hospital by a MS student on clinicals, so there was a lot of supervision and a tightly proscribed format.

    There were 4 sessions with the evaluator, at about an hour each. We got to be in for a little bit of it, but mostly it was just him in the room with the evaluator, being put through various games and such, with the whole thing being recorded for later analysis. She had us list out everyone who had been a caregiver for him, and contacted all of them (as possible) to get a narrative of what he was like at various ages and anything they had noticed about him. She also gave each parent, his main teacher, and the school psychologist a survey to fill out, and compared the answers we all gave to see what was an issue all the time and what was an issue in certain situations. That was pretty brutal – the survey was something like 150 questions, and some of the questions were pretty scary; it was an all-purpose one, so it covered a lot of things that were nowhere in our realm, like “how often does your child hurt small animals”. That easily took over an hour to fill out. Then she took a week or two to compile everything and come up with her conclusions, then we went in for about an hour meeting and she went over it all, explained exactly what got her to that diagnosis, and gave us a huge physical copy of her report.

  21. cicely says

    chigau, I’m very glad you aint’nt dead.
    :)
    *hug*

    carlie: The mint plants are currently in throw-away cups (and potting soil) at the office, where they seem not to have noticed me. They lost a lot of leaves to Slow Crisping, but now they seem to have uptaken enough water to fill out the previously-limp, but green, ones. This weekend, FSM willing and the crick don’t fall on us again, they will be released into The Wild.
    :)
    And again, thank you!
    -

  22. ednaz says

    carlie @ 506
    So many *hugs* for you.

    I am sorry it is so much work to find the help and support you need. At the same time I am very glad you found help and support.
    Thank You so much for being such a good parent to your son. ♥

    A few more *hugs*.

  23. ednaz says

    chigau
    In celebration of the fact that you ain’t dead, I am sending some rum to you through the USB. : D

    Better get a big pitcher. : p

  24. thunk, Ravenston J Z 7 service to Prospekt Slavy says

    well hi..

    Chigau, we are happy you are alive.

    Giliell: good luck. to you and spawn. it’s tough for everyone involved (being an autistic youngling myself, recently).

    carlie:

    The biggest thing that getting a diagnosis did for us was that it reframed the narrative of our lives, and that’s not really an exaggeration. It meant that I was not a bad mom, and he was not a bad kid. We were lucky to live several states away from family and to not have many ok any friends we did family things with because even at that distance, we heard a lot of “you’re spoiling him” and “he’s ruling the house” and such. We left two preschools, one for which the last straw was when we heard him being called “the bad kid” by other toddlers because they had heard it from the teachers. We had experimented and clawed our way up to figuring out some of the things we needed to do to help him navigate his world, but those were all seen as capitulations by friends and family. We were letting him control us by telling him exactly how many stores we were going to and in what order and not deviating from that. We were pandering to him by not making him wear the clothes that made him throw a tantrum. “All that kid needs is a good spanking.” We’d helplessly try to explain that “letting him cry it out” actually meant two hours of straight full-throat screaming crying until it made him throw up.

    Oh so true. I heard a lot of that from parents. “Vitamin B for Belt”, crudely translated. And I had the autistic traits way easier.

  25. says

    Just dropping in to say that my ultrasound showed a healthy 17 week girl dancing around. So there’s your good news if you needed some. (I’m not staying around tonight, so while responses are appreciated with full fervor, they will not be likely to read by me)

  26. says

    Logicpriest:
    I’m sorry to hear that. That sucks.
    Feel free to hang around and vent as you see fit.
    ****
    ednaz:
    You are awesome. Oatmeal cookies! Nom Nom Nom!
    I wonder what oatmeal/peanut butter cookies would taste like…
    ****
    Followup to my Paula Deen query. She has some shit to answer for:
    http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2013/06/paula-deen-racial.php?m=1

    Jackson’s complaint also accuses Deen of racism and enabling Hiers’ behavior. According to the complaint, Deen and other managers at her companies ignored Jackson’s attempts to discuss Hiers’ behavior. As evidence that Deen “holds such racist views herself,” the complaint details an incident that occurred when Jackson was in charge of “food and serving arrangements” at Hier’s wedding in 2007. The complaint includes a comment Deen allegedly made when asked by Jackson what type of uniforms the servers should wear at the wedding.

    “Well what I would really like is a bunch of little niggers to wear long-sleeve white shirts, black shorts and black bow ties, you know in the Shirley Temple days, they used to tap dance around,” the lawsuit claims Deen said. “Now that would be a true southern wedding, wouldn’t it? But we can’t do that because the media would be on me about that.”

    In her deposition, which was given last month, Deen denied many of the allegations against Hiers and addressed the alleged comment about his wedding. Deen said she remembered telling Jackson and another employee about a restaurant she went to with an exclusively African-American waitstaff that she wanted to emulate, but was worried about the potential reaction. Though Deen admitted to using the phrase “really southern plantation wedding” she denied having said the N word.

    She may have been telling the truth about not using the N word in that specific case, but that hardly exonerates her from being racist given her “southern plantation wedding” comments.

  27. says

    Somehow my post got eaten after I hit send…
    One more time.

    Possible Trigger Warning for Racism:

    ” Jackson’s complaint also accuses Deen of racism and enabling Hiers’ behavior. According to the complaint, Deen and other managers at her companies ignored Jackson’s attempts to discuss Hiers’ behavior. As evidence that Deen “holds such racist views herself,” the complaint details an incident that occurred when Jackson was in charge of “food and serving arrangements” at Hier’s wedding in 2007. The complaint includes a comment Deen allegedly made when asked by Jackson what type of uniforms the servers should wear at the wedding.

    “Well what I would really like is a bunch of little niggers to wear long-sleeve white shirts, black shorts and black bow ties, you know in the Shirley Temple days, they used to tap dance around,” the lawsuit claims Deen said. “Now that would be a true southern wedding, wouldn’t it? But we can’t do that because the media would be on me about that.”

    In her deposition, which was given last month, Deen denied many of the allegations against Hiers and addressed the alleged comment about his wedding. Deen said she remembered telling Jackson and another employee about a restaurant she went to with an exclusively African-American waitstaff that she wanted to emulate, but was worried about the potential reaction. Though Deen admitted to using the phrase “really southern plantation wedding” she denied having said the N word”

    http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2013/06/paula-deen-racial.php?m=1

  28. chigau (aaarrgh) says

    Thanks, all.
    I aten’t caught-up either.
    Hugs and rum to all in need.
    also
    I don’t have TB.
    (pre-employment medical check)

  29. rq says

    chigau
    *fist-pump*
    Hooray for no TB.
    I’ve been confirmed TB-free several times (work and post-pregnancy x-rays – why post, I don’t know…).
    I’m glad you’re not dead and I shall have some rum with breakfast to celebrate.

    Tony
    Yay for you and for having spare cash and for (hopefully soon) having some time to be Active. :) I’m extremely, extremely happy for you! *happy dance* Getting out into the world is so interesting.

    Dutchgirl
    Congrats and glad things are progressing well!!

  30. rq says

    Sooo… last night in choir we sang a song about no darkness because the hills are on fire. And then the medieval presidential palace burns down. :o
    There is (was?) a museum in the building, full of valuable artefacts, but since the place was undergoing restoration, there’s a chance that most exhibits were moved out (all people were – our Beloved President is staying elsewhere during the reconstruction, and the fire started after 10PM). Still, let the jokes about early Midsummer’s Eve fires begin (’tis the season, after all).

  31. Beatrice (looking for a happy thought) says

    Yay for chigau not being dead and not having tb.

    (still mostly ‘rupt, so I respond to the news I picked up skimming)

    hello all. I’m kinda busy. I complain, almost like a proper government worker, but I’m much happier being busy than having nothing to do, even if that would mean more Phrayngula time.

  32. says

    Beatrice:
    Sounds like you, Portia, and I are in the same boat re: workload. I agree wuth you about preferring busy to bored.

    ****
    These are horrifying numbers:
    ” Put together by the WHO in partnership withthe London School of Hygiene& Tropical Medicineand the South African Medical Research Council, thereport says 35 percent of womenaround the world are victims of sexual or physical violence, and that assault at the handsof an intimate partner isby far themost common formof such violence. Infact, a whopping 30 percent of women globally were found to be domesticviolence victims.”
    http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3474120/

  33. says

    Hi there
    Yay for Dutchgirl and Dutchgirlfetus

    Also yay for chigau.
    I tested positive in my pre-school testing which led to lots of trouble…

    don’tpanic

    Giliell welcome to the club on non-neurotypical children; sorry to say it’s probably going to be a bumpy ride. Hugs and sympathy

    I think that at the moment it’s important not to call anything a spade or a duck yet, because diagnosis via Wikipedia is about as bad as none at all. Apart from that:
    Keep fingers crossed for the normal pre-school check next Friday.
    Because this is going to be a loooooong ride. I hope that the centre for gifted kids will have spots sooner, because I just called the autism centre and they took my contact info and informed me that it’s going to take 5 months before I can get an appointment. “Checklists” are like: yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, noooo, yes, no, no, no way, yes, yes, yes, this so much……

    Apart from that I’m just plain out of ideas.
    My therapist suggested a consequentioalist approach and I fully agree, the problem is only that I have no fucking clue at all. I cannot say which behaviour of mine would lead to a favourable behaviour of the school. For every possible behaviour I see there are two contrary reactions and I have no clue which would happen…

  34. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    I think that at the moment it’s important not to call anything a spade or a duck yet, because diagnosis via Wikipedia is about as bad as none at all.

    Meh, it helped me finally pry off a “bipolar” mislabeling.

  35. says

    Meh, it helped me finally pry off a “bipolar” mislabeling.

    Yeah, but you’re an adult with adult introspection talking about yourself.
    I’m talking about “diagnosing” my child. Wikipedia and some educational psychology cannot be a substitute for several hours of testing by a professional.

  36. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    True.

    For anyone who hasn’t seen it before: this, oddly enough, is the best combination of accessible, comprehensive, and unbiased information on ASDs as an experience I’ve ever encountered.

  37. carlie says

    I just called the autism centre and they took my contact info and informed me that it’s going to take 5 months before I can get an appointment.

    Yikes. I forgot to mention that the reason we ended up at the teaching hospital was that we ran into exactly that when trying to go the “normal” route for such things. That’s one of the things that makes me mad about all of the “kids are getting overdiagnosed just for being a little weird” memes – they have no idea how hard it is to even get scheduled in for testing! I don’t know if you have any other options, but if nothing else, you could try asking for a probationary admission to the school pending the testing that you’ve already scheduled to have done.

  38. says

    Just wanted to get that out there so I pre-empt the possible “what do you mean by non-standard” posts that are inevitably coming, cause seriously. What the hell, Kat?

    I have an older lesbian couple who are not the stereotypical “we want a baby” that media tends to portray lesbian couples.
    I have an asexual character who isn’t stone-cold hateful and really just needs a good fucking to “get better.”
    I have an invisibly trans character, who I hope to write in such a way that no one will know until they read the subtext of things they said throughout the books.
    I have numerous black and Arab-like characters who don’t fit any of the typical stereotypes.

    And yes, a character with what could be described as Asperger’s.

  39. carlie says

    I just assume non-standard means non-majority, no value judgments implied. :)

  40. rq says

    Katherine
    Yup, I assumed what carlie said, but I do the same thing sometimes: I’m trying to break the habit of calling my kids normal, so I’ve started putting it in quotes, but it still sounds weird. I don’t know what a better word-choice would be, though. Help?

  41. rq says

    n the interests of Fairness and Equality, I wish you all a Happy Summer Solstice/Midsummerfest/Jāņi, or, as the religious like to call it, the Feast of St John the Baptist. Nope, not a co-opted pagan festival at all! :) (Honestly, why does the winter solstice get so much attention, but the summer one – none at all?)
    So, in the interests of celebrating, I declare this summer holiday season open. Flower/leaf crowns for everyone, beer and cheese, too! For extra prosperity, have a bonfire and jump over it several times, but remember – stay safe.

    incidents of drinking and driving are higher on this day than of any other in the year

    More police are on duty on this night than any other night for this reason, with pre-Jāņi campaigns starting in early June. They seem to be working, since drunk driving incidents in recent years have been reduced dramatically.
    [And stay safe: due to the atmosphere of Free Love on this night (the 23rd – Nobody’s married on Jāņi!), birth rates triple in March of the following year (apparently that whole Safe Sex campaign needs some work… or actual implementation, heh!). Consistently, year after year – but no word on STIs.]

  42. says

    Hey all, mostly a lurker here but I was just wondering: is there a known way of killfiling on FtB, or doing something similar? The Greasemonkey killfile script doesn’t seem to be working for me.

  43. says

    Giliell

    Wikipedia and some educational psychology cannot be a substitute for several hours of testing by a professional.

    Substitute, no; helpfully informing one, yes. And generally it’s isn’t the hours of “testing” that set these kind of diagnoses, but those surveys you and all the adults that have interacted with the child weigh heavily in the determination. A few hours with a child, often in an unfamiliar setting isn’t a good environment for doctors to evaluate a child. The thing about these diagnoses is that they’re intended to help people who have a condition that disrupts their daily lives — such an setting isn’t the patient’s normal routine, so doctors generally see it as slightly tainted.

    Yes, a number of those survey questions seem odd or just plainly way out there, scarey even. And after my wife and I filled out our surveys independently we compared notes. Sure there were core things we agreed upon, but it was a little funny how we each noticed separate things. There are a lot of diagnostic categories, each subtly different and often overlapping which is what they’re trying to tease out.

    Remember that a single label is not really determinative; each non-neutrotypical child tends to be uniquely non-typical. Also that label might change over time, or as you change doctors. So if the doctors give a label, don’t take it too seriously. And if they don’t, don’t take that too seriously either (the child might be borderline, or the doctor’s threshold might be higher than others…)

  44. Beatrice (looking for a happy thought) says

    Tony,

    I prefer busy, but unfortunately a large part of my being busy means dealing with having been given a huge responsibility that should not have been mine.

    I’m afraid there’s going to be a shitstorm about this. (We’re talking large sums of money)
    I’m so fucked, and I know I couldn’t have done anything better because this just wasn’t something I should have been assigned based on my work experience and position I work on.

    /paranoia kicking in, but I hope I was vague enough

  45. says

    Beatrice:
    Oooh, damn. Sorry. I hope this work out with the least stress on you possible.

    ****
    Ah, I see why my comment in the FTBCon thread was not let through–it contained a link to SkepticInk. I had never been there before and as soon as I saw Vacula’s blog, a light switch went off. I followed a link from Black Skeptics to Ed Clint’s blog.

    I just read through comments in that thread as well as perusing a few others. I saw cingratulations given to Ron Lindsay and a complete dismissal of the complaints of the guests who went to WIS2 (its like they think PZ, RW, Stephanie, Ophelia, Jen, and Amanda all belong to the same network and are the only people who criticized Ron.) That network has too many ties to the Slymepit.

    Still not sure about TalkingPointsMemo.

  46. cicely says

    Just dropping in to say that my ultrasound showed a healthy 17 week girl dancing around.

    Yay!

    also
    I don’t have TB.

    Additional good news! Also yay!

    Another city discovered in South America!

    In Mexico.
    A Maya city in South America would really be something!

    Hi, Malkyrian! Happy de-lurking!

    threadrupt but in case no one else posted, deranged penguin sighting

    Cool!

    *hugs* for Beatrice.
    Also, an *umbrella*.
    -

  47. carlie says

    If you are the kind of person who likes to bookmark articles for arguments, this one is going to be a great one for the “lose some weight, fatty” discussions. (seen via Kate Harding on twitter)

  48. David Marjanović says

    Also, borkquoted.

    Nobody’s married on Jāņi! […] birth rates triple in March of the following year […] Consistently, year after year

    That’s… impressive.

    Also, it’s an appalling waste of caraway. Caraway belongs in bread, or in potato dishes, not in *shudder* cheese.

  49. David Marjanović says

    I just got told a good night story about the little snuggly otter and his bad brothers. A coherent story she made up on the spot.

    :-o

  50. says

    Chigau
    So whose body were you Borrowing? Seriously, yay for health.
    Beatrice
    *hugs* That’s a shitty situation.
    Malkyrian
    Hello and welcome. The Greasemonkey script is the only one I know of.
    rq
    Happy Jāņi! I would say that I wished we had that here, but although I approve of the idea of wild partying in principle, I’m actually incapable of engaging in partying of any sort myself, so it really wouldn’t make a difference to me.

  51. Pteryxx says

    Hey, the atheist’s allowed in after all:

    http://www.salon.com/2013/06/21/welcome_to_america_atheists/

    After Doughty’s attracted national news attention and made US Citizenship and Immigration Services look like a big bunch of dummies, her case took a swift turn. On Thursday, she received a letter stating, “In light of the full explanation in support for your request for an exemption from bearing arms as it relates to the naturalization oath, this Service hereby withdraws the request for evidence (RFE) issued on June 7, 2013. This Service accepts your detailed statement in satisfaction of the information requested by the RFE. Your application for naturalization has been approved…. Congratulations.”

  52. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    Anyone happen to know, offhand, why hexagonal tents even EXIST? Because, seriously, fuck them. >.>

  53. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    (Specifically, camping tents. The shape is very inconvenient, it turns out.)

  54. says

    Threadrupt :(

    * soft fluffy hugs to anyone that wants them*

    ——————————————————————–

    Any DFW/north Texas Hordelings interested in meeting up for part of the FtBConcious IRL? I’m willing to host at my house which is centrally located in Grapevine.

    I can be reached by clicking my nym above. I think it could be fun, although I would have to insist on clothing (pj’s totally count) if it’s at my house.

  55. rq says

    cicely
    It’s weird, but I always mix up Mexico’s continental location. It seems to belong more with South America, but I think that’s my unconscious biases of some kind kicking in.

    David
    Caraway in cheese is so a good place for it. Ever tried it? Yummm…!!!

    broboxley
    Looks more like a kiwi to me. Heh, flightless birds… they’s all the same.

    Beatrice
    *hugs*

    +++

    Also, those long yellow beans like green beans that you eat with the pod but they’re yellow not green (they call them butter beans here) are so fucking de-LISH-usss!!! I have once again convinced myself of this fact.

  56. carlie says

    Anyone happen to know, offhand, why hexagonal tents even EXIST? Because, seriously, fuck them. >.>

    You mean the dome ones with three poles? Not too bad, except the last pole is always the worst. Or are there ones that are actually hexagons?

  57. cicely says

    *hugs* all ’round.

    Anyone happen to know, offhand, why hexagonal tents even EXIST?

    Rule of Cool?
    -

  58. Menyambal --- son of a son of a bachelor says

    Hexagonal tents exist because the designers haven’t noticed why they don’t quite work. They are supposed to be free-standing, with no tent-pegs required. I find the shape of the floor to be okay for stashing all my gear inside with me, sometimes, but it is mostly a waste.

    Theophontes, the steak cooker sounds clever as heck. I hope it continues to go well.

  59. cicely says

    Raising some consciousnesses on Facebook tonight.
     
    Perhaps I will survive it.
    -

  60. UnknownEric the Apostate says

    So since I’ve become more active and outspoken on the Twitters, I’m now being followed, storified, and whined about by the creepy wing of Slyme International LLC. If they think that’s going to make me shut up, then to quote the great philosopher Bugs Bunny, “They don’t know me very well, do they?”

  61. says

    Good morning
    Serious hugs to beatrice
    I hope things aren’t as dire as you fear.
    Seriously, you’re a practically unpaid trainee.

    don’t panic
    Sure, I have to make the observations, but I cannot make sense of them.
    Again with the link Azkyroth posted: some things describe her to a T, others not at all.
    There seems to be a big overlap between behaviours of gifted children and behaviours of Aspies, some things seem to be unique to either.
    For example, all descriptions about people on the autism spectrum I’ve read have inability to interprete non-verbal communication” as one of the cornerstones.
    That’s the one thing I say no, absolutely not. Not only is she able to reads and express non-verbal communcation, she’s able to express them in her drawings.
    Does that render the other things invalid? I don’t know, I cannot say, I need professionals for this.
    I’m confused enough as things go.

    ++++
    Good news is that sister is trying to reactivate whatever contacts she still haves to the local children’s hospital and the child neurologists she worked with. So, hopefully not 5 months….

  62. rq says

    Go, cicely!
    Raise those consciousnesses!
    With no adverse reactions!
    (When I do it, I just wonder if people actually read my posts…)

  63. mildlymagnificent says

    ‘rupt. ‘Twas my birthday yesterday. yay me! One daughter brought flowers yesterday. Other daughter just rang to say she’s running late for today’s planned visit. Because ……?

    Something good to know. Everyone at her workplace, dining rooms, bars, gaming rooms, security, were called in, even if they were not rostered for the day at all, for an hour and a half staff meeting/ training session. (And they paid them, just as they do for other training.) Last night a drink in one of the venues was spiked. So the management made everyone, even if they’re not Responsible Service of Alcohol qualified/licensed, go through their prevention & management strategy.

    I’ve always thought they run the place pretty well. This just confirms it.

  64. opposablethumbs says

    Happy birthday yesterday, mildlymagnificent! Hope you had a good day, and that the State of Health is good all round the family …

    Good workplace, that! And it only makes sense, after all, for everyone to be aware of the issue and how to deal with it; for everyone to take responsibility for the safety of customers and fellow staff.

  65. carlie says

    Does that render the other things invalid? I don’t know, I cannot say, I need professionals for this.

    Exactly. For our example again, I had never even considered autism because he was so cuddly and lovey all the time, but the clinician said that the actual diagnostic wasn’t being detached from people (like everyone thinks it is), it’s having no sense of what the appropriate interaction is with people, which can manifest either as being detached or as being overly snuggly (he gave her a big hug and kiss after their first session).

    I’m glad your sister’s helping – sounds like she’s come around.

  66. says

    Oooh, consciousness raising…I guess thats more educational than fun? Some of both?

    ****
    And a shoutout to SallyStrange for the very helpful advice she shated ctivism.
    Also, Crommunist rocks. His ability to lay out an argument in sufficient detail without being verbose is impressive. A link from PET took me to WWJT over at Patheos, where JT Eberhard struggled and failed to understand why people would disassociate themselves from CFI, placing a disproportionate amount of blame on feminists, rather than on Ron. Crom rebutted extensively and shredded JTs arguments (some of which seemed to veer into accusing feminists of using arguments from emotion).

    Crommunist and the ever eloquent and insightful Greta Christina have the amazing ability to explain things in an easy to digest manner, without making their audiences feel dumb (I do not mean to imply the rest of FtB is incapable of the same, just that Crom and Greta excel in that skill).

  67. billingtondev says

    Is anyone here a runner – as in running marathons or half marathons etc? Because its not something I have ever done – or would want to – and am trying to understand.

    Daughter is running in an organised half marathon event tomorrow – and while I THOUGHT I was being totally 100% supportive – she is very upset with me because in her eyes I have let her down. Partly its miscommunication – but also – ah jeez – I don’t really know whats going on…but I think I haven’t taken it seriously enough – or something?

    She has been training for a while now and has done very respectable times during her training runs. And hopes to do as well again in the event tomorrow. And I think she will. But somehow I just didn’t get how HUGE this event tomorrow was to her. I still don’t quite understand – except that I just feel like a dumb thoughtless jerk about now.

    She asked me a while ago if I would be at the finish line when she crossed – and of course I said yes. But then tonight – when she asked where we would go for brunch afterwards, I told her that I probly wouldn’t be able do brunch with her because I had a lot of work on – she broke down in floods of gut wrenching tears. She is feeling so bad about herself that there will be no-one else there cheering her on – only me – and then I tell her that I can’t go out with her afterwards. It just seemed too much for her to cope with.

    I guess I just didn’t really get the fact that as a runner, its a very big deal to do something in an organised way with a group of other people. That was probly pretty dumb of me not to get that. I don’t know. All I know is she is very badly hurt and its messy and I am so sorry that I screwed up.

  68. opposablethumbs says

    billingtondev, I can see that you’re really trying hard to help your daughter and be supportive while she’s in a difficult place. And it sounds like she’s got a lot on her plate right now. But fwiw you sound like a great parent to me – a parent who cares a lot and loves her and is doing their level best. Don’t beat yourself up too much if you can’t always grasp quite what it is she needs – you’re not telepathic, and it may not always be easy for her to express her needs in a way you can understand. You won’t always get it right (hell, as a parent just not getting it wrong sometimes feels like quite an achievement). But you have other needs and obligations of your own too (like work …).
    .
    Do keep trying – and I know how gut-wrenchingly awful it feels when your kids are hurting and you can’t necessarily help them, and how you feel guilty for not being able to give them exactly what they need. Keep trying, but be forgiving to yourself too. Don’t burn out by demanding the impossible of yourself: maybe at some point when things are a bit calmer you might get the chance to explain that there’s no way you can always know which things are most important to her and which aren’t, that maybe it seems obvious to her but you don’t always get it no matter how much you would like to. So maybe she could help you to help her, by explaining to you a bit more sometimes about what she needs? Maybe she could help by telling you which things really matter a lot, in time for you to arrange your schedule, because you want to be there for her – you just don’t always get when to be there?
    .
    Ugh, coherent expression is not my strong point today (or most other days)! Also, I don’t run (I just know how much I hate it when things happen to prevent me getting to the gym:-) And I have 2 spawn, who sometimes seem to appreciate our appreciation of their achievements, and also often don’t get understood and supported as much as we would like to).
    .
    Wishing you and your daughter well, and hoping you get through it all.

  69. Pteryxx says

    *refills the fluffy hug trough*

    Maggie Koerth-Baker reviews The Science Delusion and interviews the author:

    The real problem with Curtis White’s The Science Delusion

    Reading The Science Delusion was an intensely frustrating experience for me. Much in the same way that reading some of the commentary written by White’s least-favorite people, Richard Dawkins and Christopher Hitchens, has always been frustrating for me. With all these authors, I see an undercurrent of an argument I’m happy to agree with. But that reasonable position is bogged down with layer upon layer of cheap jokes, “gotcha” quotes removed from their context, critiques of cultures and communities they clearly haven’t taken the time to understand, caricatures, and the sort of comic rant style that looks very good on Lewis Black and fits sort of awkwardly (at best) on most other people. In this case, the result is a book that carries a message it clearly believes science needs to hear, but which is written in such a way as to nearly ensure that it will quickly alienate anybody who identifies with science as their community, their career, or their passion.

    And that’s a shame, because, as I say, White makes some good points in the book and he makes those points somewhat better when he’s just talking to you.

    For instance, nearly half the book is dedicated to a critique of pop-culture, self-help neuroscience — the sort of stuff that is the once and future bread-and-butter of Jonah Lehrer. It is absolutely ridiculous, as White says, to look at an fMRI scan and declare that we are seeing a thought, let alone an emotion. It is problematic when we extrapolate the findings of fMRI studies to suggest that they can help fix your marriage, give you a leg up in business, or really do much at all beyond supplying a rudimentary understanding of what happens in certain parts of the brain in response to certain stimuli. We are learning the basics of brain function here, not discovering the secrets that will help you make yourself more creative. (Unfortunately, in the book, much of White’s argument against this hinges on framing pop-neurobollocks as a problem created by and supported by scientists, and a problem that very few people have spoken out about. Neither of which is true. If you want to read more about why this type of neuroscience is wrong and how it distorts our understanding of ourselves, I’d recommend reading Brainwashed: The Seductive Appeal of Mindless Neuroscience , instead. Or just spend some quality time with The Neurobollocks blog.)

  70. carlie says

    billingtondev – it might be that this race was the “big goal” she was working towards, so it’s not just a run – it’s like beating the final boss in a video game, or acing the final exam, etc. – it’s the culmination of a huge amount of work for her, so she wants to celebrate it in a big way. You seem like a really caring person, though, and I’m sure you’ll both have a good time tomorrow.

  71. says

    Yay cicely!

    Happy Birthday mildlymagnificent!

    billingtondev: The problem with running/racing is that most people do it in small/medium groups. The training, the racing, the celebration afterwards, all with their group. To race by yourself, and have no one with you afterwards is pretty tough. I did it a few times back in the long-ago, and it sucked pretty badly. And for an especially long race it is even worse, almost a little traumatic even if you have a good race and absolutely traumatic if you don’t.

  72. Ogvorbis: Vitium hominis esse says

    hello.

    Threadrupt.

    Not doing too well. Knowing that I abused a second very young child is really weighing heavily on me. Depression appears to be winning. Scared. I may have to actully speak to someone in real life (you know what I mean) but that scares me even more than being depressed.

  73. ChasCPeterson says

    I may have to actully speak to someone in real life

    Are you soliciting opinions about this?
    There is most certainly one right answer, you know.

  74. Ogvorbis: Vitium hominis esse says

    Are you soliciting opinions about this?
    There is most certainly one right answer, you know

    Not sure if I’m soliciting or not. As for one right answer? It depends. I tend to cycle through some depression each time my brain decides to drop another memory turd. A week or so of worrying it like a hole in a tooth and it’ll fit in to me and cease to become an obsession. I marked on my calendar at work (a real one, not an Ogvorbilander) when I started obsessing over this second child so I’ll be able to tell if I am worrying it long enough that it falls into danger zone.

    I know I should go see a therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist but I have wrapped myself in so many layers on this that I am so afraid of ever actually telling someone face to face, someone who knows me, someone who can look at me and tell me that what I did to S and this other toddler really is beyond the pale and though I know that wouldn’t happen I don’t believe me. Which makes no sense. Which (my irrationality) is yet another sign that I am still in a depressive phase.

    Did any of that make any sense at all?

  75. David Marjanović says

    Awesome open-access paper. Disclaimer: whether temnospondyls (like Broomistega) are amphibians is a controversion question; I’m working on it. :-)

    Petition against pure madness citing this:

    A judge has ruled that a North Texas lesbian couple can’t live together because of a morality clause in one of the women’s divorce papers. The clause is common in divorce cases in Texas and other states. It prevents a divorced parent from having a romantic partner spend the night while children are in the home. If the couple marries, they can get out from under the legal provision—but that is not an option for gay couples in Texas, where such marriages aren’t recognized.

    *rageflail*

  76. ChasCPeterson says

    Ogv: I don’t know what to tell you man. Whatever you think of teh horde, collectively it’s no substitute for trained, experienced people who could help you. They could help you accept that none of it was your fault, for one thing.
    +++
    carlie @#560: thanks for the link to that interesting read.
    Actually, I found it in about equal parts interesting and maddening; the science discussed is very interesting, but a) no references, so I am forced to search for example this haystack for more info; b) there are a lot of minor problems with how the science is described; to marjanovic* this one would take me a long time (the author clearly does not understand the concept of energy, e.g.); and c) the author insists on framing it all in terms of some blatant false equivalences and invented war of paradigms between ideas that are in fact perfectly complimentary. Specifically, the equivocation of the ‘thermodynamics model’ and ‘personal choice’ is simply stupid, and none of the ‘alternative’ hypotheses proposed in fact contradict the vilified ‘thermodynamics model’ in any way.
    Anyway. Be careful about what point you think you’re making by citing it.

    *now that this verb has passed into vernacular English usage, we no longer have to try to figure out the diacritic.

  77. ChasCPeterson says

    complementary.
    [You know why I don’t always preview? because it pisses me off the way it won’t put a simple hyperlink in line. ffs. Hyperlinks are the entire point of the fucking internet and they can’t get them right.]

  78. Ogvorbis: Vitium hominis esse says

    They could help you accept that none of it was your fault, for one thing.

    Every time I reach a point that I have fully accepted that none of it was my fault, my brain releases yet another memory turd. On the bright side, there can’t be all that many of them left, right?

  79. says

    Billingtondev:
    All the advice opposablethumbs gave you?
    Heartily seconded.
    ****

    Ogvorbis:
    I agree with Chas. An experienced therapist could be beneficial to you. Have you given thought to seeing one before your depression reaches the danger zone?
    Also, I know you have said you have not told your wife, but I think she could be of great help to you in this.
    As always, be well my friend.

  80. says

    http://thinkprogress.org/health/2013/06/21/2194281/colorado-town-hazing/
    A young boy is held down on a school bus and sodomized with a pencil. Two of the boys who did it received virtually no punishment. Probably because they were sons of the wrestling coach who is also on the school board. Fuck.
    ****
    Trigger
    Warning
    .
    .
    .
    .
    http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2013/06/21/2198631/oregon-police-tase-autistic-11-year-old-walking-along-the-highway/

  81. Beatrice (looking for a happy thought) says

    Ogvorbis,

    I think Chas has given you very good advice. We’re well meaning, but I don’t think we’re enough.

    ——–

    I’ve always had a love-hate relationship with mosquitos. (cue: public laughs)
    mosquitos: *drink my blood*
    Beatrice: “Argh. Goddamnit. Die already! Bloody bastards.
    Not in the face. Not in the face!
    Argh.”

    Today, we have brought that relationship to the next level. I now have to add “Not the boobs. Not the boobs!” to my tirade.

  82. billingtondev says

    opposablethumbs:
    Thank you so much for that! Yes – I am not telepathic – and yes – we will need to have a conversation like that at some point. Having said that – I have just dropped D at the race start and am realizing I REALLY did not understand. I had NO IDEA what a big deal it was. I mean I don’t know why I didn’t realize – I’ve seen things like this on telly etc occasionally, but mostly just glanced and looked away cos they have never really interested me – so its just never impacted on me. This IS a big deal event. Duh! Hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of people, cars for miles, roads blocked off, marshals and officials, atmosphere – like a big sports occasion etc – how could I have NOT known all that? Feeling like a bit of an idiot I’ll have to say!

    Carlie and Joe:
    That helps a lot – thanks. Yes – D has certainly had this as a goal. And has been doing all her training by herself and will be running by herself today. Somehow I just thought it would be like all the training runs she’s already been doing – but with a few other people running along with her. I realize now – that was a pretty impoverished sort of view. The ‘traumatic’ thing scares me a bit. After her bout of gastro last weekend she is probly not in as good a shape as she wanted to be. And she is a bit emotionally fragile at the moment regarding any thing she sees as a ‘failure’- so I have all fingers crossed that it goes well.

    Having said all that – and thinking about things a bit – I think her reaction last night was also about her mental state at the moment – as much as her disappointment with me. It was just so sudden and out of the blue and devastating, with lots of self-loathing/judgmental/angry talk all tangled up in it, that it kinda took my breath away. But realizing that it was lot about where she is at the moment has helped me put a bit of perspective on it. She seems in a little better shape this morning tho – so now fingers crossed that she goes ok. Oh god – I hope she goes ok!

    Still feeling a bit bad – but better knowing that I understand a bit more now. And we’ll/she will be ok. We have a good enough relationship to sort through this.
    Thanks folks for having this space to dump – just writing things out like this helps to process it all a bit as well as having some clear thinking voices here as well.

    Gotta go now to be at the finish line… and maybe even out to brunch – we’ll see.

  83. says

    Freaking completely the fuck out. D messaged that she was taking an overdose of her prescription, and now lives across town about an hour from me by bike. I called 911, but I’m panicking and freaked out and terrified, and L isn’t doing any better. I am at my wits end here.

  84. billingtondev says

    Oh god Dalillama – that is scary shit. She messaged you – that’s good.
    Huge amounts of whatever you need coming your way right now.
    Hang in there – I hope its all ok.

  85. carlie says

    Dalillama, I’m so sorry. 911 will get there. They will know what to do. D cared enough about self and you to reach out to you for help. You did good.

    billingtondev – no matter what happens (happened) in the race, she did it. She trained for it, and she didn’t give up, and she went and did it. She didn’t succeed when she crossed the finish line, she succeeded when she crossed the start line.

  86. mildlymagnificent says

    Dalillama, billingtondev, ogvorbis – what can I say. Hoping for the best for you three.

    Here we go – hugs, chocolate, grog, assorted delicacies displayed for everyone to pick up in passing.

    ogvorbis – echoing everyone else’s support. One thing that occurred to me a while ago. You’re referring to your dreams as “memory turds”. I’d agree they’re certainly turds, but I’m not entirely convinced they’re all accurate or complete memories. Can’t remember the first time this occurred to me, but you’re dreaming, “remembering”, a lot of traumatic stuff full of confusion and horror and fear andlining it up with your adult sense of control and agency for bonus horrible points.

    I’d wonder if a therapist might be able to get you to see that some of these memories are, in fact, your brain elaborating and possibly turning your childhood fears of what-happens-next?, threats or worries or fantasies or predictions or expectations, into “real” events. At this long remove, it’s not likely you’ll be able to completely disentangle the definitely real from the maybes and probables from the intrusions and distortions of adult depression. But there are certainly some distortions even if there are links of some kind to a past reality.

    We’ll support you as much as we can for as long as we’re needed, but you know and we know that we’re no substitute for a good therapist. You’ve grown yourself up into a good, responsible man – who would, if he could go back in time, be the right kind of person to help that little boy with the problem he couldn’t solve all on his own.

  87. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    [announcement]
    This weekend is the fortieth wedding anniversary for the Redhead and me. Free Grog and Swill at the Pharyngula Saloon and Spanking Parlor. Tomorrow night, we will go to dinner with a couple who is celebrating their 62nd anniversary. Made cooking dinner tonight a rather rushed affair (dinner date made this afternoon), with me cooking steaks, mushrooms, onions, and potatoes at the same time. (Overcooked her steak slightly, drat! Bad Nerd)

    We still have a ways to go to match the other couple.
    [/announcement]

  88. chigau (aaarrgh) says

    Hi there.
    I’ve gone to the dark side.
    I bought an iPad and am commenting therefrom.
    I cannot navigate or find anything.
    Hugs, though.

  89. cicely says

    (When I do it, I just wonder if people actually read my posts…)

    Actually, the guy I was dialoguing with kept it reasonable and low-key…apparently rather unusually, in the opinion of his cousin (the mutual friend we share). Seems he likes him some flamewar.

    Happy Late-birthday, mildlymagnificent!
    *cake&ice cream&chocolate truffles*
    Hurray for otherdaughter’s workplace!

    *hugs* and sympathy for billingtondev.
    Problem is, you are not inside your daughter’s head, and in the absence of info from her, you cannot reasonably be expected to know how much weight she places on anything. Coming to a correct conclusion with no clues to work from is just flatly impossible.

    *incrediblyawesomelyvast hugpile* for Ogvorbis, wrapped up in a fuckton of moral support.
    And dipped in chocolate.

    And another *incrediblyawesomelyvast hugpile* for Dalillama, also with moral support and *chocolate*. *booze* optional.
     
    I dread what I may read further down-thread.
    :(
    Still, keep us posted, ‘kay?

    Happy Anniversary to Nerd and the Redhead.
    *fireworks&champagne*

    *hugs* for chigau.
    -

  90. Beatrice (looking for a happy thought) says

    mildlymagnificent gives another really good comment (addressing Ogvorbis) that I agree with.

    *hugs* for all in trouble or with loved ones in trouble.

    congrats Nerd and the Redhead!

  91. billingtondev says

    Just a whole bloody great pile of everything that’s good and nurturing and supportive and wise and decent for anyone and everyone who needs it in what ever form that works the best for you.
    Sometimes – in spite of all knowledge to the contrary – I really DO wish for a Stop-All-The-Hurt-Now magic wand.
    In the absence of said wand – here’s a whole flaming great bunch of Arohanui (Maori. Translation = big love) and a whacking great Kia Kaha (stand strong) from down-under here in NZ.

    Big congrats to Nerd and The Redhead! Yay!

  92. mildlymagnificent says

    EBW + pitters?

    Will people never learn that ‘the enemy of my enemy’ may turn out to be not much of a friend? Or that someone who’s told you that you stuffed up in some way is not your enemy, but possibly the best friend you could have at that time?

  93. says

    Good morning
    Mr. and I spent the bigger part of yesterday trying to repair the washing machine while the kids tried to be put up for adoption…

    Happy aniversary for Nerd and the Redhead

    Ogvorbis
    You know that you don’t have to disclose anything to your therapist when you don’t want to. You can take your time, you can disclose things when and as you feel comfortable. You can take your time to establish a good relationship first.
    *big hugs*

    billingtondev
    OK, in my mind you’re classified as male. PLease ignore if I misgendered you
    It helps to remember that men and women are conditioned to express wants and desires in very different ways. Women are supposed to “read people’s minds” and then do everthing to fulfill their wishes. And they’re also supposed not to say loudly what they actually want while men are conditioned the other way ’round, so they react to direct questions and often fail to pick up the unertones women use to make their preferences known.
    *big hugs*

  94. opposablethumbs says

    Dalillama, just saw your earlier post. I so hope that D is OK! And that L and you are all right. As billingtondev and carlie pointed out, D was feeling enough about you and about self to want to contact you, which is a glimmer of positive in itself – I hopehopehope that there is some support available and that you are all OK {{{hugs. Lots of hugs}}}
    .

    Sometimes – in spite of all knowledge to the contrary – I really DO wish for a Stop-All-The-Hurt-Now magic wand.

    With you there, billingtondev! Hope the race went well for your daughter, and the after-race too! ::ultra-long-distance hug::
    .
    Ogvorbis, we’ve been interacting with you here for quite some time and know you well enough to know that you are a really good and worthwhile person. I always look forward to seeing your nym on the screen! I’m so sorry you’ve been hit by another wave – as others have said, we’re glad to be able to be here for you in the ether, but as real as that is it’s not the same as speaking with someone hopefully well-trained, experienced and skilled in helping people with trauma. I know you’ve considered this before, and I understand that you’ve always shied away from it … it’s a very big deal, of course it is. And of course you need a professional who’s consummately trustworthy above all. When you saw someone for the other ptsd issues before, was there ever anyone you particularly felt you could trust?
    Damn, just [everything mildlymagnificent said in #612]. Read #612 again, right now! {{{hugs you}} You were not the adult there. The man you are now would never let a child be abused if it were in his power to prevent it. You deserve help with dealing with this!

  95. opposablethumbs says

    Happy anniversary to Nerd and the Redhead! ::raises glass:: (I’ll admit that at this hour of the morning the glass is actually a Nice Cup of Tea, but I’ll make it a glass when it’s evening in this part of the world :-)

    Here’s to you both!

  96. Ogvorbis: Vitium hominis esse says

    First, I apologize for yesterday. I had a shitty day (libertarian visitor (why do libertarians visit National Parks?) who was a yeller). I didn’t express myself clearly and that is my mistake.

    That said, my dreams seem to provide a key that allows me to open up a new vault of memories. And it usually takes a week or so for me to actually figure out what I’m remembering.

    TRIGGER WARNING

    I remember who the little kid was (spent some time last night sitting on the porch with a good cigar mulling this over — much better than thinking about it at night (I slept like a log — all night)). He was T’s younger brother A. I’m not sure why T’s four year old brother was with us at a scout activity but that really doesn’t matter (it really doesn’t). About two weeks later, our rapist stopped being the scout leader. Two months later, he, and his family, had moved to another part of the state (I even remember that he took a pay cut to get a state job, resigning his federal job). Which means that someone else told. Probably? Who knows.

    I now remember the beginning. Much of what happened (I’ll never remember it all and I’m okay with that (or I think I’m okay with that (which may be the same thing))) I remember — good and bad, pain and pleasure, fear and desire. Now I remember how it ended. And I feel good with this.

    I’m out of the abyss (for now). A therapist is still a possibility but it really does scare me. And as long as I’m a Weeble, as long as I keep popping back up, I think I’m in pretty good shape.’

    Feeling much better today.

    /TRIGGER WARNING

    Happy anniversary to the Nerd and the Redhead.

    Hugs and support to Dalillama. Wish I could do more.

  97. StevoR : Free West Papua, free Tibet, let the Chagossians return! says

    Thinking of the discussions over comedians and nice versus nasty comedians in a thread the other week or so, check out this interview :

    http://www.abc.net.au/iview/#/series/2955479

    on the ‘One Plus One’ program (Friday June 21st 2013 ie. solstice day this year and replayed later incl.tonight) with Adam Hills shown on TV recently.

  98. says

    Happy anniversary to Nerd and Redhead
    Big fluffy *hugs* for Ogvorbis

    (libertarian visitor (why do libertarians visit National Parks?)

    Because until they’re all sold to Disney they have no choice if they want to go to certain types of places. They complain endlessly and bitterly about this fact.
     
    In local news, D is still in hospital, and apparently not in immediate danger from the OD. Unfortunately, she was taken to a different hospital than before, and was not terribly coherent at the time of her admittance, so L and I aren’t listed as authorized contacts and they won’t tell us anything.

  99. Sili says

    I have a confession to make: I don’t get what the big fuss about Tommy Cooper is.

    Perhaps he just haven’t aged well.

  100. Ogvorbis: Vitium hominis esse says

    Dalillama:

    Hugs to you and D. Glad D is not in danger but I hope that D gets the needed help.

    And aren’t privacy laws such a wonderful double-edged sword?

  101. Ogvorbis: Vitium hominis esse says

    Saw a t-shirt today on a visitor:

    “Pavlov’s Cat::
    Ring a Bell and it Jumps Into a Box”

  102. billingtondev says

    Giliell

    OK, in my mind you’re classified as male.

    Oh! Thats interesting! I’m female. :-) No probs.
    The expectation of mind reading abilities screws us all over.

    Race went fairly well. D seemed happy enough with how she had done.There was still some tension there – but ok. No brunch – the logistics just didn’t work.

    Later in the day D messaged me with an apology for the night before. Which was good. But I think there will need to to be more of that conversation at some point to sort it through properly – esp re the ‘mind reading’ expectations. I think that IS at the heart of it.

    carlie @611

    Very excellent words – that helped a lot! Thanks :-)

  103. billingtondev says

    Damn! Can’t figure out what I am doing wrong with the HTML thing. No bolding and the quotes still look weird?

  104. Ogvorbis. Just plain Ogvorbis. No extras. says

    Lucked out.

    A document I thought was lost when we had a power surge that shut down all of our computers last week? Sitting in the automatic recovery in MSWord. Thank you, MicroSoft.

  105. says

    Beatrice:
    I realized bad jim was not talking about retributive justice after some initial confusion. Xe provided a wikipedia link to ‘tit for tat’ which is not the same as an eye for an eye. Apologies were exchanged and I believe xe wants to extend some your way too.

  106. cicely says

    Ogvorbis, perhaps knowing how it ended will be sufficient “closure” for your mind to stop picking at it? I hope, anyway. And an entire night of sleep is surely an unadulterated Good!
    *hugs*
    Just ’cause.
    :)

    *moar hugs* for Dalillama. I’m glad that D is not in any immediate danger; can whoever is considered to be an authorized contact vouch you you and L? Would they? Failing of that, is a transfer to the hospital where you are authorized contacts be possible/likely?
    -

  107. chigau (aaarrgh) says

    So far, I am not fond of my new iPad mini.
    In fact, if not for the considerable financial investment, I’d take it outside and put an axe in it.
    I’m sure I will grow to love it.

  108. says

    can whoever is considered to be an authorized contact vouch you you and L? Would they? Failing of that, is a transfer to the hospital where you are authorized contacts be possible/likely?

    Unfortunately not. her stepmother is not communicative, and her biological mother is completely useless.

  109. says

    Tony

    Warm Bodies

    After R (a highly unusual zombie) saves Julie from an attack, the two form a relationship that sets in motion a sequence of events that might transform the entire lifeless world.

    Sounds like some kind of zombie romance….

  110. says

    Longer synopsis:

    With much of the world’s population now an undead horde, R is a young and oddly introspective zombie. While fighting with and feeding on a human scavenger party, R meets Julie and feels an urge to protect her. What happens next is the beginning of a strangely warm relationship that allows R to begin regaining his humanity. As this change spreads through the local undead population like a virus, Julie and R eventually have to face a larger issue when the very nature of their friendship is challenged. Caught between the paranoid human forces and the ferocious “Bonies”, zombies who are a mutual threat, R and Julie must find a way to bridge the differences of each side to fight for a better world no one thought possible.

    Yup.

  111. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    You mean the dome ones with three poles? Not too bad, except the last pole is always the worst. Or are there ones that are actually hexagons?

    There are ones that are actual hexagons. They are notable for having the property of resulting in “two person” tents that will not accomodate two twin-size air mattresses. >.>

  112. says

    Azkyroth Anyone happen to know, offhand, why hexagonal tents even EXIST?

    Because (1) three poles are cheaper than 4 (2) hexagon is roughly round, and round is a strong, stable configuration (3) two adults in middle + a child in each “wing” (at least that’s how the picture on the box usually shows it … reality? quite different) sells to “average” family.

    The REI hexagon dome tent I bought at their “garage sale” 14 years ago? Only in the last 3-4 years did I figure out how to put it up efficiently and with minimal fuss by myself. Damn good tent, but yeah a pain. Used it in early April at a location that, well, turned out to have a wind problem (30 mph sustained winds for a day, only came up the 2nd day at that location). Bowed the tent over to almost 1/3 normal height, but easily would have snapped any other configuration into matchsticks.

    Menyambal, yeah, normally no tent-pegs are required (and I’ve occassionally dragged it to new locations based on that structural feature) except to keep it from tumbling away.

    Oh, yeah, and that tent? Officially “6 person”. Fits two queen-sized air matresses nicely w/ a little space for other stuff. But I’ve never seen a tent that comfortably holds more than half the official designation.

    GiliellFor example, all descriptions about people on the autism spectrum I’ve read have inability to interprete non-verbal communication” as one of the cornerstones.

    I wouldn’t take that too strictly. And I think you might be misinterpreting “non-verbal”. Rather than drawings, I’m thinking more “body language”, and such. And like I said, these kind of kids are “uniquely, unique”. On of the doctors we’ve had was quite clear that we should treat any label a very provisional/squishy. Is DontPanicSpawn an Aspie? Meh, perhaps, perhaps not. Lots of overlap, so we take (as best we can) from that community ideas that seem to work. He shows some body language blindness, but ASD isn’t his “official” diagnosis. Do I worry that he’s PDD vs. Aspie? Not really. School services (e.g. Individual Educational Plan) are generally based on needs, not diagnosis. The label is generally only necessary for (a) insurance purposes if you live in backwards societies such as the US (b) to get one past the barrier in the school system. Once past the threshold of “needing” a IEP, the actual diagnosis played little role … at least for us. YMMV.

    Very belated happy birthday mildlymagnificent

    I support opposablethumbs‘ and others support for billingtondevas a parent.

    Ogvorbis … {{hugs}}.
    Dalillama … [no words]. Glad things didn’t end as badly as they could have.
    Nerd, congrats … coming up on 25 years for us (30+ as a couple).

  113. Owlmirror says

    Last night I watched Attenborough’s Ark. It was pretty awesome, if you like animal footage in HD. They had Black Lion Tamarins, the Marvellous Spatuletail hummingbird, pangolins (very sad — they’re terribly endangered, but people still want to eat them and make “medicine” from their scales!), quolls, and several others, plus snippets of footage of many more miscellaneous animals.

    I thought that David Marjanović would particularly appreciate the two amphibians: Darwin’s Frog (the male breeds the young in his mouth pouch), and olms, which I actually recognized because they were discussed on TetZoo.

  114. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    A continuing discussion of lack of discussion is quite the paradox.

  115. says

    To break up the discussion of lack of discussion …

    My mind boggles at how often e-mail exchanges in my work life proceed along the lines of:

    Them: I want to do X [big wavey hands at expansiveness of task]
    Me: Okay, I’m not quite sure of your realistic goals, but here are options A and B. Choosing which depends on what you have for inputs and what your goal actually is. Here are some bit about each…
    Them: Yeah, okay, but which is <whinging-voice>best [accompanied by no additional info]
    Me: [considers resending first response … decides just not to respond at all … add dents to desk instead]

  116. rq says

    It’s quiet, alright. Nothing unusual, though – this is what weekdays primetime eurozone look like; a stretch into evening isn’t an issue.
    Stepped on a bee. After getting home from gallivanting around the country-side and wandering through fields of nettles and swamps of horse-flies and mosquitoes. Lessons on doing things The Safe Way, haha.
    Also, the rose garden exploded into wild colour while we were away.
    That is all.

    +++

    *hugs* for Ogvorbis and for Dalillama, I sure hope everything turns out as ok as possible for both of you!

  117. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    Ouch, rq : (

    Cousin in Law got stung yesterday at the baby shower at my house. She acted sort of like it was something I had done to her…*shrug*

    This week was a marathon. I am exhausted.

    Asshole Cousin noticed I was pissed at her assholness and asked if she “did something to upset me, or…?” I said we could talk over tea if she wants. It’s like a test. If she opts for tea, she might actually care about my feelings/needs/etc. If not, she was just baiting me for an opportunity to call me a bitch. She likes to do that.

  118. rq says

    Portia
    I’m glad your weekend seems to have gone well, though.
    I’m pretty sure this was a bee from the neighbours’ hives, but they gave us a bucket of honey before we left for the weekend, so I’m willing to consider the fact that me stepping on a random bee is not their fault. :)

    Dalillama
    I just have lots of *extra hugs* for you, and this kitten that was at the place we stayed. *crossing fingers link works*

    billingtonsev
    I will add my voice to those who believe you to be a good parent trying hard – but it is hard, and I hope your daughter had a good race and that you two had a chance to celebrate afterward.
    I know a bit of the feeling of having a good performance (sports, music, etc.) and not having anyone to share it with – it’s a strange kind of high, but if there’s no one with whom to get excited, it fizzles into a strange sort of depression. So I hope, even if no brunch, you had a chance to celebrate. And don’t beat yourself up about not understanding/not seeing things that, in retrospect, seem obvious. Hindsight is 20/20, as they say… but if you’ve never participated in a marathon/half-marathon event yourself, it’s perfectly fine to not know what preparing for it feels like.
    As long as you’re ready to listen and learn and understand (which you certainly seem to!). Good luck to you and your daughter!!

  119. says

    Nate @642

    I remember the moment I realized that Twilight’s inexplicable popularity was entirely due to it being BDSM porn for those who didn’t want to admit that they were the “type of people who were interested in BDSM porn”.

    That a fanfiction of it quickly became 50 Shades of Grey therefore not only makes perfect sense, but I’m looking forward to future iterations and seeing the deniability get stretched further and further.

    In general:

    I really hate my brain this early week. Yesterday I went to visit my last remaining not hating me family and that was supposed to be this fun relaxing thing to prepare me for seeing my uncle again, but my partner fell ill and so I had to go solo. And just the fact of that completely fucked me up and I had a complete breakdown in the car before heading over and on the car on the way back with sheer overwhelming fear even though I know that little piece of family supports me as I am.

    And now today, I feel all messed up and depressed just because one of the webcomic creators I read went on a transphobic twitter spree recently (Mike from Penny Arcade, and yeah, I know, this hasn’t been close to the first time he’s done something unbelievably fucked up) and that has spawned a number of “anti-PC warriors” to go around repeating his transphobia as “SCIENCE” everywhere they go.

    And yeah, oh hey, transphobia, haven’t seen that before! I’ve got a good thick skin against that shit these days. If I didn’t, I couldn’t really do my job for my own blog, but for whatever reason, I just feel really depressed and sort of fatalistic about general society.

    It’s just frustrating when there are so many days that are legitimately terrible, to see my brain struggling to push on against THESE particular pieces. It’s like, what, you danced your way through your parents disowning you and calling you delusional, but some piece-of-shit ignorant ass dudebro gamers have got you down? The fuck?!?

    I dunno, brains, man, what the fuck, right?

  120. says

    Good evening

    Big hugs for Ogvorbis and Dalillama

    billingtongsev
    Sorry for misgendering you.
    And I hope you can make up for the time not spent another time *hugs*

    don’tpanic

    I wouldn’t take that too strictly. And I think you might be misinterpreting “non-verbal”. Rather than drawings, I’m thinking more “body language”, and such.

    I’m not sure if we understand each other here.
    I don’t mean drawing=non-verbal. I mean that she draws people and animals who display body-language. So, looking at her pictures I can tell if the people or animals are happy or sad or angry. Which is rather exceptional for a kid her age.

    And like I said, these kind of kids are “uniquely, unique”. On of the doctors we’ve had was quite clear that we should treat any label a very provisional/squishy.

    Sure she is, and those things aren’t a switch that is flipped one way or the other.

    Is DontPanicSpawn an Aspie? Meh, perhaps, perhaps not. Lots of overlap, so we take (as best we can) from that community ideas that seem to work. He shows some body language blindness, but ASD isn’t his “official” diagnosis. Do I worry that he’s PDD vs. Aspie? Not really.

    Yeah,I noticed the overlap. There seems to be a lot of overlap in the “socially inept area” between Aspergers and gifted and I surely can’t tell which she is if she’s either. That’s why I say, I need somebody else. Of course I’m over-watchful now and over-analyze things now and it is very likely that I’m missing very important things somebody with proper training will pick up. And no, I don’t “mind” what the result is. I noticed she is different a long time ago and as long as she was happy so was I. People are putting an end to that, so I need to act…

    School services (e.g. Individual Educational Plan) are generally based on needs, not diagnosis. The label is generally only necessary for (a) insurance purposes if you live in backwards societies such as the US (b) to get one past the barrier in the school system. Once past the threshold of “needing” a IEP, the actual diagnosis played little role … at least for us. YMMV.

    I guess it’s similar around here. I know from a friend that if your kid is gifted you need to get that diagnosis from the official school psychologists so the kid can access the special programs. No, it doesn’t matter if other accredited child-psychologists also said so, we need to make those chronically overworked people work a bit more

  121. rq says

    *hugs* for you, too, Cerberus.

    +++

    Sequel to The Shining – book, not movie. Dundundunnnn!

    I hope there is never another iteration of Twilight/50 Shades/ whatever the fuck else there is out there (yeah, rq, keep dreaming). I hope people start reading better books and hotter books.

    A series on asexuals as recommended to me by a friend who is asexual. I have found it interesting and enlightening reading.

    There’s an award for bad tippers where you win no service at all. I think it’s great.

    The Field-Trip, for those interested in seeing the un-dramatic country-side of Latvia.

  122. Portia...are you ready boots? Start walkin' says

    Thanks, rq. I survived the weekend, so that’s a win. PreggoCousin was really sweetly appreciative of the effort the shower took, as were a lot of people about the kids safety camp at the fire dept. Of course Ahole cousin was not appreciative at all.

    Cerberus: *hugs* Stoopid brains.

    ===

    Weather is scary and dangerous here. Fire department is on high alert, but no calls in our district yet. Tornado touched down 20-30 miles away about a half hour ago.