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May 19 2013

Remnants

Amongst the debris left over from last night’s late ruckus in my hotel room, I find in my possession many empty wine and beer bottles, a quarter of a fifth of vodka, one set of mysterious keys and a Shelley Segal CD. Look for me at the conference and I’ll return them to you.

Except for the clutter, the room is surprisingly tidy and undamaged. You atheists really have no idea how to trash a hotel room, do you?

38 comments

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  1. 1
    kevinalexander

    If it was a real party then whoever lost the items wouldn’t yet remember that they ever had them much less that they lost them.

  2. 2
    dancaban

    The vodka is mine. Any left over drinks are mine. The name of the vodka?

  3. 3
    Argle Bargle

    Has anyone seen my keys? I could have sworn I had them just last night.

  4. 4
    daveau

    What?!?! There’s vodka left? (By my reckoning, that’s 1/20th of a vodka)

  5. 5
    carlie

    Sheesh! I bet you people leave good tips for the maid service too. Barbarians!

  6. 6
    Miri, Professional Fun-Ruiner

    I’ll take the vodka!

  7. 7
    rorschach

    *Ahem* Aren’t you going to tell us about the people who you found in your bed and on the couch this morning? Or what kind of atheists are these?

    ;)

  8. 8
    Tony! The Fucking Queer Shoop!

    I will hold onto the cd until its rightful owner turns up.

  9. 9
    Josh, Official SpokesGay

    Also too Ron Lindsay’s looking for a lost pacifier–says it’s silver to coordinate with beard and wants it back.

  10. 10
    melaniemallon

    Oh, and half of an old boys’ club sandwich Ron was too full of shit to finish.

  11. 11
    FossilFishy (NOBODY, and proud of it!)

    Hey PZ, if you could keep a look out for my sense of optimism about the future of women in organised skepticism that’d be great. I’m pretty sure I lost it sometime near the beginning of that conference.

  12. 12
    DLC

    Say, has anyone seen my marbles ?

  13. 13
    davem

    1/4 of a 1/5 of vodka? Rank amateurs! Last year , my evicted ‘neighbours from hell’ left the place in chaos, with a black plastic bag on the floor, with approx 30 bottles of vodka in it…

  14. 14
    The very model of a modern armchair general

    A quarter of a fifth of vodka… that’s… wait a second, I can do this… a twentieth of vodka, right?

  15. 15
    Ichthyic

    Also too Ron Lindsay’s looking for a lost pacifier–says it’s silver to coordinate with beard and wants it back.

    probly left it in the sandbox.

  16. 16
    SallyStrange

    I’ll take the Shelley Segal CD if nobody else claims it.

  17. 17
    Ichthyic

    …btw, first phrases I had to translate upon arrival in NZ (both were in an article of the local paper):

    -Spat the dummy (baby spat out pacifier to cry loudly)
    -Sandbox spaz (child throwing a tantrum in a sandbox where everyone was just trying to play nicely)

    both are variants on the idea that someone has just lost his shit for no good reason.

    you wouldn’t think there would be a language barrier between one english speaking country and another. You’d be wrong. :P

    4 years here, and every day there is another Kiwism that requires translation into ‘mercan.

  18. 18
    Jackie the wacky

    PZ, whenever people gather in the presence of drink the booze fairy appears. She then steals keys, phones, lighters and loose ones. She is clearly to blame for putting those items in your room.

    Oh Fossilfishy, I think your lost sense of optimism has alot of company, wherever it went.

  19. 19
    Ichthyic

    In my newsfeed this morning, was news that Amina was arrested.

    anyone have any details?

    In a separate development in Kairouan on Sunday, the interior ministry said a woman had been arrested for placing a feminist banner on the wall of a mosque and trying to expose her breasts.

    The activist, named Amina, sparked controversy in recent months by publishing nude images on Facebook and writing on her chest: “My body belongs to me and not the honor of others”.

    http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/05/19/us-tunisia-islamists-idUSBRE94I04K20130519

  20. 20
    Sili

    Sandbox spaz

    Interesting. “Spaz” was one of the insults of choice when I was a kid, and I’ve been noticing it making a comeback, much to my annoyance.

  21. 21
    Alethea Kuiper-Belt

    Spitting the dummy is a great phrase but “Sandbox spaz” less so – spaz=spastic, thus disableism.

  22. 22
    David Marjanović

    In this case it’s probably a spasm.

  23. 23
    yazikus

    PZ, whenever people gather in the presence of drink the booze fairy appears

    @Jackie
    At last! Someone else who knows the truth! All these years I’ve hidden my knowledge, afraid I would be cast aside as ridiculous. You’ll never know how much this means to me. (I think she lives in my attic, and also has a sock hoarding problem, just fyi)

  24. 24
    prfesser

    >You atheists really have no idea how to trash a hotel room, do you?

    And whose fault is that, I might ask?? PZ, if you had been a proper role model to the attendees last night, they would (or should) have known how to trash a hotel room properly. Truly a shame, tsk, tsk.

  25. 25
    Markita Lynda—threadrupt

    Josh wins the thread!

  26. 26
    Rob

    Spitting the dummy is a great phrase but “Sandbox spaz” less so – spaz=spastic, thus disableism.
    Agreed. I didn’t like it being used 30+mumble years ago, not going to use it this time around.

  27. 27
    Mattir, Another One With Boltcutters

    Given that two of the partygoers were the Spawns, who STRONGLY encouraged mom to go to bed and not cramp their social coolness with the FtB crowd, I am surprised that the room wasn’t way more trashed. I know what their rooms look like. But perhaps that sort of look takes time.

    I got a decent night’s sleep and the Spawns had a totally fabulous time playing Cards Against Humanity. It was good.

  28. 28
    Ogvorbis: Still failing at being human.

    Could you check under the couch again? Maybe my faith in humanity is there? No? Damn.

  29. 29
    echidna

    Regarding “chuck a spaz” being ablist, would the same apply to “chuck a fit”?

  30. 30
    Jackie the wacky

    Yazikus,
    That explains how I made it home from the last party I attended without my socks.
    I thought it had something to do with the hot tub, but I should have known that pesky fairy was at it again!

  31. 31
    Mattir, Another One With Boltcutters

    I think throwing a fit is having a temper tantrum, which is different from either spastic motion or epilepsy in that it’s pretty much a deliberate tactic.

  32. 32
    RealityEnforcer, Roaming Bear, terror of the Boy Scouts

    Spawn here. We’ll try harder next time.

    However, there is a difference between a messy room and a messy hotel room. A messy house room is more an affair of guiding neglect, letting the clutter age and grow. Trashing a hotel room, on the other hand, is more immediate. It requires more pizazz and is more “artful explosion” than careful dust-bunny tending.

  33. 33
    NateHevens, resident SOOPER-GENIUS... apparently...

    Sorry Tony and Sally… the CD was mine. She even signed it for me! So my name was on it… :D

    I got it from PZ the morning of the 19th.

    Also, it was a serious good time. We did end up in a serious discussion, but I had tons of fun playing Cards Against Humanity with a whole bunch of people while Jason Thibeault and then Miri live-tweeted it (did any of you see that?). Then Amanda Marcotte came in and that’s when the serious conversation started, and I learned about the power of the word “impolitic”. Somehow (though I’m not sure how) the conversation turned to drugs, then other stuffs.

    Thanks for returning the CD, PZ. I sincerely hope that everything else was found, too.

  34. 34
    Tony! The Fucking Queer Shoop!

    Ok, only because it is you Nate.
    Otherwise, we would be scrapping’.

  35. 35
    yazikus

    Yazikus,
    That explains how I made it home from the last party I attended without my socks.
    I thought it had something to do with the hot tub, but I should have known that pesky fairy was at it again!

    It was totally the booze fairy, (s)he has a thing for socks, and car keys when (s)he can get them. Not your fault. I just want my pink sock back, but I’m working on that. With offerings and all. You know, milk, bread, maybe blood.

  36. 36
    chigau (違う)

    Mattir
    When your Spawns become the New Overlords, I, for one, will gladly welcome them.

  37. 37
    Danny

    Thanks for bringing me my keys >:>. It was great meeting you, PZ, and I hope I get the chance to chat with you again without you needing to put up with Orange County.

  38. 38
    DearAnia

    You can blame Alex for that. He was tidying up while people were talking :P I think he even made the bed.

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