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Apr 12 2013

Greta Christina has a new book

It’s called Bending: Dirty Kinky Stories About Pain, Power, Religion, Unicorns, & More. I bought it. I read the first page of the introduction, my gnarled and liver-spotted hands trembling, and saw words that were threatening to my comfortable cis male heterosexual conventionality, and then started getting palpitations. I set it aside. Maybe when I’ve recovered and my heart gets a little stronger, I’ll try the second page.

Unless…maybe one of you can read it and tell me if it’s got stuff suitable for a geezer. Or, you know, I’m not really into unicorns, so maybe you can tell me which page has the hot cephalopod action.

Another possibility is that I could give it to my wife to read. I’m just afraid that if she really likes it, I might not survive the experience.

Or maybe I could ask her to read it aloud to me. That ought to be safe. Like a children’s book, right? Bedtime stories?

16 comments

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  1. 1
    Mattir, Another One With Boltcutters

    Does Michelle Bachmann know that Minnesota tax dollars go to support such dangerous reading habits?

  2. 2
    PZ Myers

    Uh-oh. I forgot that because I work for a state university, Michelle Bachmann owns my every penny and every waking moment.

    Maybe I should have bought a gift copy for her?

  3. 3
    Mattir, Another One With Boltcutters

    Just make sure to give the pastor at that church with the noisy bells a couple of copies. That ought to satisfy Bachmann.

  4. 4
    The Mellow Monkey: Non-Hypothetical

    It sounds interesting, but I’m scared of the unicorns.

  5. 5
    Daniel Edström

    What’s the deal with the Unicorn? Is she sticking the horn into… well… you know?

  6. 6
    anuran

    PZ – Michelle “The Beard” Bachmann thinks this stuff is just too tame and vanilla

  7. 7
    Inaji

    Daniel Edstrom;

    What’s the deal with the Unicorn? Is she sticking the horn into… well… you know?

    Congratulations! You’ve won this golden star of douchebaggery for quickest asshole comment, based on unicorns being real.

  8. 8
    chigau (違う)

    Audio book.
    There’s the ticket.
    Hands free.

  9. 9
    Cat's Staff

    I’m a slow reader…I usually wait for the movie.

  10. 10
    theignored

    Unicorns aren’t the problem here…it’s narwhals.

  11. 11
    janiceintoronto

    I’m about a quarter of the way through the book.

    It would be better suited for children than the bible.

    That help?

  12. 12
    redjuggler

    It would be better suited for children than the bible.

    Doesn’t that describe just about every book ever written?

  13. 13
    erikthebassist

    It’s called Bending: Dirty Kinky Stories About Pain, Power, Religion, Unicorns, & More.

    Dammit, that was going to be title of my new book!

    Back to the drawing board. :(

  14. 14
    Bill Dauphin, avec fromage

    PZ (and Chigau):

    If you’d like to have Greta read it to you, I’m guessing Greta’s portion of this audiobook anthology is the title story from the new book (which I haven’t gotten yet). Since Susie Bright, the editor of that anthology, is now an acquisitions editor for Audible, I’d be shocked if there isn’t an audiobook in the works.

  15. 15
    Bill Dauphin, avec fromage

    Hrrm… now that I look closer, Greta apparently doesn’t read her story in that book. <EmilyLitella>Never mind!</EmilyLitella>

    (She does do her own reading on Why Are You Atheists So Angry? It’s very good, but not terribly erotic.)

  16. 16
    billhaines

    Just checking in to see if anyone’s used “Fifty Shades Of Greta” yet… no?

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