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[Lounge #396]

cute-baby

This is the lounge. You can discuss anything you want, but you will do it kindly. What is that thing? Some kind of ape? Creepy.

Status: Heavily Moderated; Previous thread

Comments

  1. says

    There’s only one The Wicker Man worth watching, and it’s not the crappy remake. I have the collector’s box set, with the director’s cut. It’s absolutely fabulous, and Christopher Lee’s Lord Summerisle? Delicious.

    Sergeant Howie: And what of the TRUE God? Whose glory, churches and monasteries have been built on these islands for generations past? Now sir, what of him?

    Lord Summerisle: He’s dead. Can’t complain, had his chance and in modern parlance, blew it.

    Sergeant Howie: What religion can they possibly be learning jumping over bonfires?

    Lord Summerisle: Parthenogenesis.

    Sergeant Howie: What?

    Lord Summerisle: Literally, as Miss Rose would doubtless say in her assiduous way, reproduction without sexual union.

    Sergeant Howie: Oh, what is all this? I mean, you’ve got fake biology, fake religion… Sir, have these children never heard of Jesus?

    Lord Summerisle: Himself the son of a virgin, impregnated, I believe, by a ghost…

  2. carlie says

    What if Esteleth showed up at the park you work at, got a tour, and only told you who she was at the end?
    ;)

  3. Esteleth, Ultra-PC Feminist Harpy Out To Destroy Secularism says

    I’d have to know Oggie’s name, what he looked like, and which park…

  4. birgerjohansson says

    Research links power and tendency to punish harshly http://phys.org/news/2013-01-links-power-tendency-harshly.html Republican judges???
    ————————————————-
    Viagra converts fat cells http://medicalxpress.com/news/2013-01-viagra-fat-cells.html
    This should be good news, but it sounds like it may lead to priapism…
    ————————————————-
    Study may explain why wolves are forever wild, but dogs can be tamed http://phys.org/news/2013-01-wolves-wild-dogs.html

  5. FossilFishy (Νεοπτόλεμος's spellchecker) says

    There’s only one The Wicker Man worth watching, and it’s not the crappy remake.

    That movie has been forever tainted for me by former housemates of mine. They were self-proclaimed pagans and ran the OTO (Ordo Templi Orientis, AlastairCrowley’s religious creation) in our city. Once a month I would come home to find our lounge room choking with frankincense and a bunch of folks hanging around with whom I couldn’t have any kind of reasonable conversation.

    They LOVED the original Wicker Man because, and I quote, “The pagans win.”

  6. DLC says

    Rev BDC. read the post on the Bolshoi director. that’s really nasty. throwing acid in someone’s face.
    I once spilled a few drops of HCL on myself, and found out why we had kits for that in a hurry. The stuff hurts, even in the relatively dilute form I was using. I sometimes wonder what in the name of hell goes through someone’s head when they think of doing that .

  7. FossilFishy (Νεοπτόλεμος's spellchecker) says

    Thanks for your reply Gielle about gendered bicycles, that helped me make sense of it.

    I was thinking this morning that in a world where gendering wasn’t the norm what we would have would be the same two bike designs but they would be named differently. Something along the lines of a “Leg” frame, formerly a ladies frame and a “Torso” frame, formerly a man’s frame, to indicate the relative proportions.

    I too am outside of the averages, I have long legs to the point where a “Leg” frame would be much better for me. Unfortunately we’re not quite to the point of equality in these things and I can’t get such a thing in the size and design I want. It took me a lot of work to get my bike to fit properly.

  8. says

    Fossil Fishy:

    They LOVED the original Wicker Man because, and I quote, “The pagans win.”

    Well, I’ll grant that’s novel, as most movies have them either being overrun or converted, but still. I’ve found I can’t watch it much (well, I could probably watch the “Is that really Britt Eklund” nude scene on a loop), because it’s a dense movie, with a lot of historic symbolism in it. I might watch it about once every 5 years or so.

  9. FossilFishy (Νεοπτόλεμος's spellchecker) says

    Dammit, that would be Giliell in my 514. Sorry.

  10. says

    Random stuff, take it or leave it:

    I watched a couple of YouTube videos today comparing four Telecaster guitars ranging in price from around $250-$2500. The second video was a “blind taste test” to see if the two reviewers could identify the guitars by feel and the way they sound unplugged. I’ll spoil it for you… the guy whose family owns the store got them all right but had a hard time telling the cheapest one from the most expensive. The professional musician misidentified the cheap one as the most expensive one… TWICE! It just goes to show.

    Had instant southwestern potato & chicken chowder today. Oddly, I’m as satisfied by one small bowl of soup as I am by one large one. If I go to a buffet I eat a shit-ton, but if I cook just enough for two people at home I’m happy with that as well. I need smaller plates. :)

    I really wish I didn’t have four litterboxes in the closet of my office. I love my kids, but come on. Poop in the toilet like everyone else!

    I liked Cabin in the Woods, but it felt zero horror to me, it was more of the most clever parody/homage ever.

  11. says

    I decided to skip the gym tonight because work was such a drag and I just didn’t feel the energy to go. I figured I would go to Emerald City to get online a little bit before the date I’m supposed to have (which may or may not happen). Within 10 minutes of sitting down, a woman comes over and asks me to play pool with her friends, to which I politely decline. After she moves on she notices the tattoo on my arm and decides to investigate it. She went so far as to grab my shirt to look more closely. I pushed her hand away and indicated that I didn’t like someone touching me. She then accuses me of being an asshole because I don’t want her to touch me. She then goes on for the next 20 minutes complaining to other bar patrons that I was rude to her. At one point I interjected and told her that she was being disrespectful and that it is not polite to go around touching people that she doesn’t know without permission. ARGH! I then proceeded to attempt to focus on typing this very message, and she decided to walk over and strike up a conversation with me. If her intent was to apologize for being disrespectful, it didn’t come out that way. All she did was accuse me of being mad, and ask me to not be mean. I ignored her (which I’m sure just added to her frustration, but quite frankly I don’t give a shit). She literally continued on for a few minutes, until she finally realized I wasn’t going to respond to her. FFS! I came out here to relax with a drink and catch up on FtB, not deal with a boundary violating drunk person who cannot leave well enough alone.
    ****

    Beatrice, IJoe:
    Your talk about horror movies reminded me of a site I followed years ago, but had forgotten about: http://moria.co.nz/
    The guy who does the site has reviewed thousands of movies that fall under science fiction, fantasy, or horror. He has reviewed popular, big budget movies, and indie Japanese films. He’s reviewed modern movies, as well as classics (such as Nosferatu or the original King Kong). His reviews are in depth and very analytical. He is able to break down movies in a wonderfully insightful way (in fact, this site is what prompted me to wish I were able to analyze movies as I mentioned a short time back). When I stumbled upon the site, I found myself engrossed for hours, similar to how TVTropes can suck you in. On the main page, he does capsule summaries of the movies, and just reading them is often enough to make me want to see a movie (or, in the case of The Human Centipede, make me run screaming in horror; in fact, this site was where I’d first read about the movie, and so completely disgusted I almost wanted to puke).
    The summary for Dead Sushi:

    Completely insane Japanese film about man-eating killer sushi … A film that has a whacko anything goes lunacy to it, resulting in some of the most surreally crazed monster movie scenes that this author has seen in some time.

  12. Azkyroth, Former Growing Toaster Oven says

    I don’t watch horror movies much either, though I could probably craft a truly incredible one if there wasn’t a bunch of executive meddling. >.>

    Every once in a while, a horror thing really sticks in my brain and leaves me uneasy when alone at night for a long time. The Runestone did that when I was a kid; then The Lurking Fear, to a lesser degree; a couple years ago I encounted a piece of creepypasta called “The Rake” and it actually kept me up a good solid night. x.x

    I’ve always been kind of mystified by people who are mostly terrified of other humans. >.>

  13. birgerjohansson says

    Swedish public radio channel P3 had their yearly music awards in nine categories this evening. A surprisingly high level of talent of the Swedish bands….BTW while I had heard most of the nominated music, I had assumed most of them to be American or British (but in the case of Swedish House Mafia the name was a giveaway).
    Here is one of the bands: El Perro Del Mar – Walk On By. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PJaTQF6Dv4

  14. FossilFishy (Νεοπτόλεμος's spellchecker) says

    I’m a bit ashamed to admit that the nude scene is really all I remember about that film. I watched it with those roomies and if there’s one thing you can say about pagans is that they tend to have good dope. That three years of my life has a bunch of fuzzy gaps in it. From you description, historical symbolism that is, I might have to watch it again in a more alert state of mind.

  15. says

    Fossil Fishy:

    From you description, historical symbolism that is, I might have to watch it again in a more alert state of mind.

    Probably the overriding theme has to do with sexuality and how two very opposite sides view it. One really nice thing about the Director’s Cut is that there’s a much longer scene with Howie at the beginning, which richly illustrates just how severely buttoned down he is, how willfully and ruthlessly he represses himself. It’s an exaggerated picture (I hope*), but it fills in the unfortunate gaps in the public release version.

    *Although I don’t know…since I’ve been on the ‘net, some of the xians I’ve encountered are scarily like Howie.

  16. says

    birgerjohanssen:
    I will have to check that out.
    One of the things I found myself doing is comparing my opinion of films and his. Sometimes they matched up. Other times, he dug deep into a movie and discovered stuff I *never* imagined. For instance, he coined (I think) a name for one of subsets of the horror genre, Backwoods Brutality (movies like the original Last House on the Left, Straw Dogs, Deliverance). An excerpt from his review of Deliverance:

    However, Deliverance is a very different film to its many imitators. It does not fall into easy classification as a horror film as The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Hills Have Eyes do. That is because John Boorman is interested in other things, of which horror themes are only part. Many of John Boorman’s films, particularly the likes of Excalibur (1981) and The Emerald Forest (1985), are concerned with mankind’s mystical relationship with the environment. It is not hard to tell that this is a preoccupation of John Boorman’s – the initial part of the journey downstream here is loaded with portentous and meaningful phrases like “Sometimes you have to lose yourself before you can find anything” and comparing the river’s primality to a force that has to be fought. The subtext beneath the film seems a dated one now but is nevertheless still potent. Humanity is seen to be engaged in a struggle with Nature. The initially assured male hunting ritual that we see at the start of the journey is battered down and stripped away throughout the duration of the film by a combination of Nature and something crazy that lives within it. There is the strong sense that humanity is being made to pay for violating the landscape, as symbolised by the dam being built that will cover the area. In a recurrent John Boorman theme, humanity must purify itself by undergoing a rite of passage – in this case, a stripping away of middle-class illusion and the cocksuredness of the hunters who set out with the intention of mastering the landscape.

    http://moria.co.nz/horror/deliverance-1972.htm

  17. FossilFishy (Νεοπτόλεμος's spellchecker) says

    Now that’s interesting Caine, no way did I get that from my first viewing of it. I think I shall have to heroically overcome my pagan spawned prejudice and rent it.

    I know what you mean about xians and repression. My brother the charismatic fundy is so weird about sexual stuff that he had to leave the room when my one year old daughter was having her nappy changed. This despite having raised two kids of his own. I wanted to shout at him “Why the fuck are you sexualising an infant?!” but nothing good would have come of that.

  18. says

    Fossil Fishy:

    Now that’s interesting Caine, no way did I get that from my first viewing of it. I think I shall have to heroically overcome my pagan spawned prejudice and rent it.

    See if you can get your hands on the Director’s Cut aka the extended version, rather than the theatrical release. There was a whole lot cut from the theatrical release. Everything is intensely sexual once Howie lands on Summerisle, magnified by his very presence and reaction to it. All the songs are about having sex and Howie is freaking out the whole damn time and trying very, very hard to ignore it, which leads to his outbursts about God and Jesus with Lord Summerisle.

  19. ChasCPeterson says

    Just me and the pygmy pony over by the dentil floss bush.

    his name is ‘Mighty Little’.
    He;s a good horse.
    Even though he’s a bit dinky to hang a big saddle and blanket on anyway.
    Anyway.

  20. says

    My fucking luck with men continues. On another dating site, I chatted with a guy, W a few days ago and we seemed to hit it off. We set plans to go out on a date tonight after seven. I texted to confirm earlier today and he said he would get with me later. Fast forward to 9:00 and I have heard nothing from him. I texted and told him I felt stood up. After a volley of back and forth where I indicated I wouldn’t be averse to trying again if he had a good explanation, W tells me that we have good chemistry and that he fell for me. He said he loves me.
    HOLD THE GODDAMM WHAT??!!
    I told him things will never work out with us because he is confusing his lust and desires with his hopes and wishful thinking. His answer was that I shouldn’t treat him like a child and that I am a troll.

    Seriously?
    I point out how ridiculous it is to say ‘I love you’ to someone you haven’t even spoken to and I am the bad guy?

    Fuck.
    Is there an atheist monastery I can join? Give my life over to the FSM? Cuz I have the worst dating luck. It used to be I couldn’t get something to last more than three months. Now I cannot even get a damn date.

    Where is that sangria? I am going to cry my drunk ass to sleep.

  21. Crip Dyke, MQ, Right Reverend Feminist FuckToy of Death & Her Handmaiden says

    Tony –

    -I’m deeply sorry for the current drama. That is ridiculous of him, or at least sounds so [I fell for my partner before meeting her in the flesh, but we had ***weeks*** of long e-mails and then more weeks of all-night phone calls, so there was a lot to base things on that doesn't appear present in this situation].

    That said, I had 2 relationships – each lasting years, one in which we had a wedding, for goodness sake – where things didn’t work out in various ways, including some significant horribleness and heartbreak. Now I have a partner who is allowing me to mooch free rent in exchange for the tiny counter-commitment of co-parenting her children (*that* doesn’t take any time), I’m doing fairly well in law school, and last-but-not-least, our relationship is absolutely full of hotness [when she isn't hacking up a lung from bronchitis].

    Really. I didn’t think it was gonna happen for me and it did.

    This doesn’t make anything easy. It doesn’t make incommunicado-yet-clingy guy any more comprehensible, reasonable, or desirable. But it does mean that I have enough confidence in my own situation that I can spend some times sending you positive vibes for the improvement of yours.

    Consider it done.

    PS. It would have been worse if you’d actually had nookie with the guy. In that sense you’re lucky.

  22. says

    Tony:

    Interesting review you quoted there, comparing Deliverance to The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Hills Have Eyes… and those movies are close cousins to Straw Dogs, and even that “classic” rape-revenge flick I Spit On Your Grave. Lots of movies about rich city folks stumbling into poor “backwoods” folks, the city folk struggling with and eventually beating the poor folk after the poor people do something to prove they deserve to be destroyed. It really tells you something about the 1970s.

  23. says

    I forgot to mention that he accused me of cruising last night because I decided to go to the bar and have a few drinks and socialize. I even told him that I was going to do that.
    In the end, I really think he has some major emotional issues to work out. His reactions and general attitude I coud expect from a 16 year old…but he is 44.

  24. says

    Joe:
    One of the themes in those movies appears to be a juxtaposition of the cultured, modern city people vs the simple, country, savages. But that is often turned on its head when the city folk become as savage or depraved as the country folk. Perhaps these filmmakers were pointing out that at our core, with all the veneer stripped away, we are all savage animals. That for all of our sophistication, enlightenment, and empathy we haven’t advanced as far as we purport to. A rather bleak view of human nature, but there is much truth to be found.

  25. says

    Tony,

    A few years ago, I met a woman online who was a little better at camouflage than your latest non-friend, and she waited until I had taken a week off of work and got on a BUS to meet her before revealing the emotional issues. WORST WEEK EVER. I didn’t exactly have the money to buy a ticket home on zero notice and get to feed myself at the same time when I realized on day two that she was mildly scary, since I had to buy groceries on day one because she had no real food in her house. By day three she was drinking and smoking weed pretty much nonstop, threatening suicide on day four, never wanted me to leave on day five, told me it didn’t work out on day six when I left (I agreed!!!) and within a few weeks of me getting home she was threatening me with a pretend pregnancy to try to win me back.

    Sometimes, alone is BETTER.

  26. Azkyroth, Former Growing Toaster Oven says

    “I’ve always been kind of mystified by people who are mostly terrified of other humans. >.>”

    Have you seen what humans are capable of?

    Let me rephrase: I’m mystified by people whose idea of something terrifying to find lurking behind the shower curtain is another human. Perhaps because I KNOW what humans are capable of.

  27. says

    Tony

    With the movies, you know what almost always happens? The city folk beats the country folks at their own game… and then goes back to being city folk. Basically saying “we didn’t give up anything being city folk, and you country fucks can’t beat us at our game OR your game.” It blames country folk for their own suffering, removes city folk blame, and reasserts city folk’s belief that they are just as capable as their country cousins in a pinch.

    All bullshit, all privilege-based… but horror has always been a deeply conservative genre.

  28. FossilFishy (Νεοπτόλεμος's spellchecker) says

    Damn Tony, that’s not good. I hope you can take solace in the fact that you’re a rational person who doesn’t believe in magical thinking so at least you know that it really is just bad luck rather than something the universe/god/karma or whatever is actively doing to you.

  29. says

    Azkyroth

    All I know is, I’m fine watching horror flicks, but the nightly news is what fuels my nightmares. I guess it’s because I know the movies are fictional, even when they’re based on vaguely plausible things like a killer Super-Flu (a la Contagion), but the news… notsomuch with the fiction, there, and that’s what scares me, because I do this obsessive-compulsive “what if” thing, where my brain just keeps coming up with shit, like “what if terrorists attack” or “what if someone breaks in” or “what if I [or a family member] gets murdered” or “what if there’s a fire” or “what if there’s a tornado” (not even a remote possibility here!) or or or [insert ridiculously-remote-yet-entirely-possible event here], and just run with it all fucking night and I can’t sleep and I can’t shut it off so I just end up laying there until I either pass out or get up and find something to occupy my brain. (Holy Run-On Sentence!)

    So… yeah. Humans.

  30. Azkyroth, Former Growing Toaster Oven says

    Tony: Gyah. That sounds fairly appalling. Especially since I can vaguely envision winding up like that guy, with a smallish number of bad choices and failures of introspection. :(

    As it is, I’m a little bit conflicted. See, it turns out that my ex-wife…

    [TRIGGER WARNING, maybe: abusive relationships and bitterness]

    (Yes, the one who drove drunk with my daughter in the car.)

    (Also, the one who attempted to poison my younger brother’s pet lizard because he graduated college before she did, which came first chronologically but which I may not have mentioned).

    (Yes, the one from whom I filed for divorce, for which the proximal cause was her withdrawing our daughter’s entire college savings for her own use, after moving out with “a friend from AA” which may well have been her “HE IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND” for the next year or so.)

    (Yes, the one who lied and lied and lied and lied and lied throughout our relationship, along with drinking, concealing drinking, and extensive, horrendous emotional abuse. (Also consistent betrayal of any attempt at managing our finances for the benefit and solvency of our household, but I don’t want to be mistaken for an MRA here. I’m actually almost proud of not becoming one, under the circumstances. Almost.))

    (Yes, the one who bullied me into paying her a total of nearly $27,000 between payoff values of debts I assumed, things I paid for, and cash she weaseled me out of, on an income of about twice that, while I was doing nearly ALL the supporting of our daughter with some help from my parents, during just the first year we were separated, uses of which included buying a car for her NOT A BOYFRIEND.)

    (Yes, the one who has been swearing up and down she’s been sober for three years even though I have an alcoholic beverage container I found in her trunk while helping her unload it and a bag full of receipts for alcoholic beverage purchases, with her debit card, over the last year that I found in her car while helping her clean it after confronting her about the can and being bald-faced lied to about it, sitting in a drawer a foot away.)

    (Yes, the one who is working full time and making at least a third again what I earn and yet has “no money” to contribute to our daughter’s care and activity fees except for the few times I’ve been able to ask her in front of her family members.)

    (Yes, the one who basically can’t be bothered to come see our daughter on her own initiative, who sleeps through about half the time she’s over there when “I wanna see momma, please take me to see momma” and actually stands our daughter up for seeing her somewhat regularly, and drops her off late, to everything, no exceptions, yet periodically announces she is GOING TO start taking her overnight on her days off (school nights) and implies that me and our daughter’s grandmother (who are basically coparenting) are keeping her from seeing her and she’s NOT GOING TO STAND FOR IT.)

    (And yes, the one for whom 90% of cards, drawings, ceramic mugs, and other gifts are made by said daughter).

    (And who arguably raped me on several occasions, though I feel like an appropriating impostor saying it because it was only by fraudulent omission in some cases, by bullying me into having sex with her when I knew she was drunk [although I didn't realize at the time she was *blackout* drunk] in others, and I’m not traumatized, really, just angry and bitter. x.x)

    [I should acknowledge I did also really fuck up in a few ways in the course of our relationship.]

    [/trigger warning]

    …demanded I let her use my laptop and internet connection to confirm, really truly confirm that she has failed to meet academic progress standards this Fall for Spring financial aid as set by her financial aid appeal for the Fall, and is very likely not getting financial aid at all this semester, which has lead to pretty much a complete breakdown.

    The second best part is, she COULD pay her way through the semester, if she cut her electric bill and either kept her groceries + fast food + other shit to under $40/week or gave up the Internet connection

    If.

    The best part is that she told me she felt suicidal and I didn’t hand her my pocket knife. Turn me into a monster? NO FUCKING DICE. I even gave her comfort and several rational plans, which I doubt she’ll absorb.

    And…you know…I want to feel…

    No, that’s a lie.

    I want to want to feel ashamed.

    And I did try. So hard.

    No, that’s a lie too.

    [I'm a little buzzed right now. Please ignore/delete this if I'm coming off as an asshole. x.x]

  31. dontpanic says

    Sounds like Tony lucked out in discovering this early; but, damn, not the best way to find out.

    Re: Acid throwing. Yeah, in never understood that business when I heard in the news in the past. Who could even think of doing such a thing? Just freaks the fuck out of me. Similarly, I’ve always hated the “go die in a fire” insult — which I glad to not have seen around these parts recently. Perhaps, I a bit to empathetic; I passed out when the OB/GYN described (in not particularly graphic detail) the amniocentesis procedure in his office. Sorry, my wife had to go through the procedure without me a few weeks later ’cause no one needs a followup encore of that kind of “excitement”. Nor did I need another ambulance bill. And the next year an unexpected flashed picture of a radiation burn during radiological safety training meant another trip in the ambulance. I don’t do horror movies.

  32. Azkyroth, Former Growing Toaster Oven says

    Err, damnit, I’d meant to post the definition of schadenfreude as a hook before “I want to…”

    I didn’t DO anything. x.x

  33. Azkyroth, Former Growing Toaster Oven says

    You read to the end, right? ^.^

    Also, Raven’s Eye Imperial Stout is pretty good. :3

  34. FossilFishy (Νεοπτόλεμος's spellchecker) says

    Eh, Azkyroth I’d think you weren’t human if you didn’t have at least a little fission of schadenfreude. Besides if good intentions aren’t magic neither are bad ones so long as they don’t result in harm.

  35. Azkyroth, Former Growing Toaster Oven says

    Actually, I’m pretty much drunk on it*, but my conduct directly towards her has been pretty much noble, as usual.

    It Was A Good Day. :3

    *gradually replacing that with regular drunk :D

    Unfortunately, this means I have a friend who is just about as fucked as she is, and he’s just badly depressed and a bit disaffected rather than a horrible person. >.>

  36. FossilFishy(AnitVulcanist) says

    Yup, it’s not the disability that makes one an asshole, it’s the being an asshole that makes one an asshole.

    People would routinely not believe that I was suffering from depression because I was “Just so nice.” Apparently in order for depression to be real you have to be actively taking it out on everyone around you.

  37. Azkyroth, Former Growing Toaster Oven says

    Yeah. With regard to mental illness as a disability, that took me a while to learn and I was kind of a jerk about it at times. :(

    (I still don’t QUITE accept that it’s inherently bigoted to draw a connection between “psychiatric conditions of which ‘poor impulse control’ and ‘impulsive behavior’ are symptoms” and “impulse-driven behavior that is consequentially indistinguishable from ‘being a horrible person'” but at best I was using a far broader brush than was ever justified. So, sorry to the decent people I’ve hurt with that, over the years.)

  38. Azkyroth, Former Growing Toaster Oven says

    The world feels okay tonight. Someday I’ll have my own house, a big productive garden, a laughably small electric bill, a few egg-laying chickens, possibly bees, have a partner to cuddle up to who’s at least cool with everything I’m into sexually and who I’ll have wonderful conversations with, and I’ll be able to afford my daughter’s college and a 22oz craft stout every night :D

    Yes, that is how I define rich. :3

    Also, thanks for putting up with me. :3

  39. athyco says

    iJoe, I was shuddering too much to type after reading each day. Unfortunately because it reminded me…..ooOOOOOOooooo!

  40. says

    athyco,

    I’m sorry if I was triggering in any way, sorry to you and sorry to anyone else who read that. I actually had worse things to say, come to think of it….

    Anyhoo… tacos? :)

  41. cicely (No Description Available.) says

    Notre Dame’s Dead Girls

    Belated *hugs* for Portia.
     
    Unfortunately, this quasi-religious Faith In The Gun is frickin’ everywhere.

    Also, I feel that I would have enjoyed tonight’s Game session so very much more without the two hours, approximately, wasted on the guys’ comparison-and-contrast of the relative merits of various guns. Roll some dice, dammit!

    Hurray for the giggly-giddy portions of the Horde.

    *ginormous heap of imaginary hugs* for Cerberus.
     
    Really. There is no way to deliver the sheer tonnage of *iHugs*.

    Caine, Cerberus, Ogvorbis
    Big hugs to you. You are brave people because you’re still here fighting

    ∞ -ed

    who the fuck are these people?

    I don’t know. I do know I don’t like sharing a planet with them.

    +1

    *hugs* for Tony.
    But it truly does sound to me like a lucky escape from the Irrationally Creepy.

    Sometimes, alone is BETTER.

    Yes, indeed!
     
    Problem is, sometimes, it’s hard to believe it. It’s that whole ‘perspective’ thing.
    Example: Sister 1, twice divorced and now un-partnered for something like 10 years, recently lamented her lonely state and mentioned that at least Sister 2, also twice divorced, never seemed to have trouble finding a new partner.
     
    Then I reminded her that Sister 2 invariably hooks up with ex-cons and abusers. Also, abusive ex-cons. I won’t say that it cheered her up, but she did agree that All Men Are Not Equal in the Partnership Stakes, and she’d rather go without than settle.

    Crap, Azkyroth! That is one nastily messed-up ex you’ve got, there.
    *hug*
    -

  42. athyco says

    Sorry, I was being dramatic. It was bad enough for me to view it as ridiculous now.

    You see, there I was, a budding atheist, who met a my-wife-and-I-are-separated minister online…..

    See? Ridiculous. :)

  43. Azkyroth, Former Growing Toaster Oven says

    Err, sorry Joe. *rereads*

    If I asked if it felt better that I more or less married her, would I come off as a douchebag? :(

  44. Azkyroth, Former Growing Toaster Oven says

    …um, yes, of course. Sorry. x.x

    (Showering drunk is an interesting experience, for the record. x.x)

  45. cicely (No Description Available.) says

    Earlier today, I had a flash visual of an imaginary ‘political’ poster/bumper sticker that I’m unsure if I should feel bad that I find it grimly humorous.
    It involved a face (that part was indistinct; nobody in particular identified in my mind) of some notorious serial rapist, duly convicted as such, with the legend, “I’m a Rapist—And I VOTE!”
     
    At the time, I had been mulling over other politically-motivated such things, I’m sure you’ve all seen ‘em: “I’m Pro-Life—And I VOTE!”, “I’m Pro-Gun—And I VOTE!”, meaning “I support these positions, so pander to me, or I won’t VOTE! for you.”
     
    And it just popped in there.
    -

  46. says

    Sorry folks, I just got done typing and then reconsidering posting a pretty pathetic screed about how bad I feel. I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do with my feelings, truth be told. It is probably why I drink so much, and since I’m trying to not spend my whole life drunk I don’t really know what else to do. I don’t want to burden anyone, and I don’t want to make a bigger deal of my personal shit than what it is…

    …I just wish I had I way to send out a tiny-sized call for help, you know? Not that I think my problems are anywhere near as big as anyone else, but that it is big enough to fill me to overflowing, and that I’m in need of just a little help. Not a lot, just a bit. And it makes me feel stupid and small to even ask, as much as all of you have already given me, but I AM still feeling a little bit stupid and small, and I can’t much help it.

  47. Azkyroth, Former Growing Toaster Oven says

    And for a moment of levity, I wish to share the following IM exchange:

    (00:19:29) ****: I’m too awake x.x
    (00:21:29) azkyroth: Fuck, I drinked all the booze.
    (00:21:49) ****: <_< and fucked all the grammar
    (00:21:56) ****: wait
    (00:21:57) ****: nevermind
    (00:22:11) ****: wait…no, no nevermind I was correct
    (00:23:32) azkyroth: No.
    (00:23:37) azkyroth: I drinked the grammar too.
    (00:23:43) azkyroth: :)
    (00:23:49) ****: xD
    (00:24:03) ****: you made me choke on my water from laughing D:

  48. says

    Azkyroth:

    It is OK. Really, seriously, your timing was perfectly appropriate, all things considered.

    I’ve hardly ever found any place in my life where I even remotely fit in. To sort of fit in AND get the financial support I’ve received AND expect to get all of the emotional support I’ve always craved and never received seems pretty ridiculous when I stop and think about it. It is unfair for me to ask or expect, because I really don’t have that relationship with anyone here.

    Really, I just wish I could form the sort of two-way meaningful relationships that other people seem to make as easy as breathing, and that for me have only happened handful of times in my entire life. Hell, I didn’t even have a genuine or remotely healthy relationship with my parents until I was in my early 30s. So I don’t know how to work my way into being really close friends with people to where it is fair for me to be emotionally open and expect anything in return. Certainly, no one here should feel bad for not helping me with things that they have no responsibility to help me deal with.

  49. says

    IJoe:
    You might be surprised at those two way meaningful relationships. To be sure, yes, there are many out there. Anecdotally, however, I have seen many friendships where both parties thought the other was an incredibly close friend only to find out otherwise. I have also seen those people who have a huge circle of friends, but I have never been too sure how close they were.
    Growing up, I felt like an outsider and longed to harm a close knit group of friends. When I was a freshman in college I tried to fit into groups, but struggling with my sexuality left me rather withdrawn. It wasn’t until M came into my life that I discovered the joy of a two way meaningful friendship. Added to that, we developed a close circle of friends too. In fact, I now remember that we were all fans of Sex and the City, and one day while driving, M decided to get creative and come up witha tv show centered around our lives in a similar vein as SatC. He called it ‘Love…or something like it’. I had forgotten that until just now.
    Since his death, I have withdrawn from a lot of my friends. Being financially unstable has been a factor too. Another has been my developing atheism, skepticism, feminism etc. I just feel less in common with many of the people I call friend. I feel awful thinking that I don’t want to be around some of them as much, but I am becoming more outspoken, and won’t tolerate many things I previously ignored.
    That was a bit of a ramble there, but I guess the takeaway is that making a close knit circle of friends is challenging and nowhere as easy as it may look. Is there a humanist or feminist or skeptic group in your area you could join?

  50. says

    Tony

    How did I cope? I didn’t have a choice, really. I didn’t have any savings at that point, so all I could do was cope or not. I had bought some booze and she was willing to buy me more since I’d bought food, which helped a little bit. She went to work for a few of the days, but she was there most of the time. So was her kid, which made the whole thing extra weird, especially the pot-smoking.

    The help I need it too big to ask. I need friends, real life friends, enough varied friends who are interested in the things I care about that I don’t have to feel isolated every time I see something cool-to-me that no one else I know gives a shit about. Real life friends who I can feel leaning on me, so I don’t have to feel outrageously guilty for leaning on them back. That doesn’t mean it can’t start online… but I know other people call each other and email each other and meet up in person a few times a year and have solid legit relationships. The only phone numbers in my contact list are my wife and my parents. I don’t know anyone to call in the whole world otherwise if something goes wrong, or even if something goes right.

    My life is so empty that I don’t even have people to call on the phone to share good news with besides my parents.

  51. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammer Too :) says

    …fucking finally. Nick works.

    Joe, Tony, I kind of have a mix of those problems. I may have good thoughts tomorrow.

  52. says

    MOrning
    *grumble*
    The little one has soem belly bug which means we spent some time last night cleaning and washing and comforting. #1 slept through the whole mayhem and the little patient seems to be mostly cheerful.
    Only Mr. and I walk around like zombies on day-shift.

    Fossil Fishy

    My brother the charismatic fundy is so weird about sexual stuff that he had to leave the room when my one year old daughter was having her nappy changed.

    That’s sick.
    But I remember that Mr. got asked if he wore swimming trunks when taking a bath with the kids.
    Yeah, that’s what I really want: hand predators and extra lever of power by instillig shame and fear about naked people into them.

    Tony
    Sorry to hear. That sucks.

    Azkyroth

    Also, the one who attempted to poison my younger brother’s pet lizard because he graduated college before she did, which came first chronologically but which I may not have mentioned

    My sleep-deprived brain was wondering how a pet lizard could graduate from college
    But serious hugs. She really sounds like a horrible person.
    I’m really sorry that you can’t just break that up permanently because of yor daughter.

    Joe
    Hugses.
    Any chance of you getting mental healthcare soon?

  53. says

    Giliell… that hurt me pretty badly. It makes me feel like you think I should shut up and not talk about my problems, even though I see everyone else talking about their problems.

  54. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    But serious hugs. She really sounds like a horrible person.

    Oh, but it wasn’t like she did it MALICIOUSLY. It’s her disease, she’s just a sick person who needs help…and besides, that was a long time ago and she’s All Better Now.

    (I hope the broad brush at least makes sense. :( )

  55. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    Joe, I’m sure what Gilliel meant is that it’s a serious problem worth hiring a professional to address. Nevertheless, I was just thinking that x.x

    If it helps any, I’ve sought mental health assistance several times before, for my issues. It’s just, well, what my plan provides is pretty horrible. :(

  56. says

    For the record, I am uninsured and I don’t have any real options for insurance. My wife makes too much money for me to qualify for any aid, and her work insurance wants something approaching $13,000 A YEAR PLUS CO-PAYS to provide me with any sort of coverage at all.

    And I’m struggling not to be snarky, and not to lash out, and not to insult or sarcastically guilt-trip anyone. If I’m failing, let me know. I’m trying to be as direct and also not-blaming as possible. I know that my problems are not your problems, and that you’re all trying to be helpful.

  57. athyco says

    My life is so empty that I don’t even have people to call on the phone to share good news with besides my parents.

    Since my retirement, iJoe, so is mine. And for the last six months, there was nothing I could really do about it. My son had a seizure in July, so I’ve been on call as his chauffeur. He works retail, so I could rarely plan ahead with his different off days, his open shift one day and close shift the next. On top of the seizure, he’s had cyclical vomiting syndrome since he was 17. If he doesn’t medicate soon enough at the beginning, we have to go to the emergency room. We’ve been seven times since July. I could feel the depression growing as the months mounted up.

    But I want it to change now, and your being here and unhappy about it means that you want to as well.

    I think I’m going to start selling some crafts at the local flea market. Attend some readings at the library. Invite my neighbor to ride bikes in the park. Get out there just to be there first; see if making a friend will follow. Can you go to that music store and drool over more guitars, ask where you might jam with others? Join/form a walking club?

  58. athyco says

    I wish it hadn’t taken so long to answer you, Joe, but my son came to me having just taken his meds for the cyclical vomiting. He’s in pain until they kick in, so I massage his hands and forearms as a distraction.

  59. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    …I thought drunk hiccups were just a stereotype. >.>

    Joe: I promise a real response tomorrow. x.x

  60. says

    Joe
    I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you or shut you up.
    I wanted to express my concern for you and my hope that you can get the healthcare you need and deserve.

    Azkyroth
    I don’t know if it applies to your ex, but with my mum I noticed that the alcohol didn’t make her an asshole. She was that asshole all along. All the bad, manipulating and abusive behaviour, I knew it all along. But before it was “balanced” by her good and wonderful traits. The alcohol took care of that and left only the nasty. And righ now I’m noticing how the good sides are coming back.

  61. athyco says

    No. How have I gone very wrong?

    I have been 100% honest in my comments. If I have missed something, I’d welcome the opportunity to correct it.

  62. says

    athyco

    No offense, because I know your problems and your family’s problems are bigger, more important, and more profound than mine… but my problems feel pretty real and pretty overwhelming to me. I’ve been crying on and off all night. And if you feel like you need to vent more than you feel like I need to vent, I’m happy to get out of your way and give you the floor. But when you say the equivalent of “sorry, I’d love to talk about your little problems, but my family’s real problems got in the way”, that feels like a dismissal and an attack.

    Again, I’m not saying that your problems or your son’s problems are smaller than mine, but I felt like you were intentionally comparing the two in order to diminish my feelings. If that’s not your intent, I’m sorry for even bringing it up.

  63. says

    And I don’t want THIS. I don’t want to feel overwhelmed, and then to feel like I’m going to swamp other people with my feelings.

    When I post here “Hey, there’s this cool thing I saw!” I’m also saying “Hey, I don’t have anyone else to share this with, come join me in my happy so I can feel like part of something good!” When I ask questions about recipes, I’m also kind of wanting to include you folks in on my meals, because cooking is one of the few things I’m objectively good at and I want to share. I’m just always sort of looking for connection, and I think that helps more than any specific piece of advice, or what limited actions I can take on my own behalf at this point.

  64. athyco says

    No. It wasn’t a “my life is just as bad if not worse than yours.” It was a “maybe I can illustrate how I can come close to understanding.” It should probably have been much shorter; it sounds as if it drains much of my energy when I’ve gotten to the point that it doesn’t anymore.

    But I was interrupted by my son coming in. It did take 20+ minutes when I’d already typed 4/5 of the comment. I’d hoped posting it right away would help, so I didn’t refresh and then adjust it.

    If I’ve relieved your mind that I’m trying to put you off in any way, I hope the last paragraph helps a little.

  65. says

    athyco

    Don’t worry about it. It is just my depression, my problem. I’ll get over it. It comes and it goes. Sometimes it comes along with pretty profound insomnia and I don’t sleep for a few days, and that makes it worse, and it makes me really sensitive to things and not really able to cope very well with my loneliness and stress and feelings of worthlessness. It usually passes after a couple of days at the most. I’m sorry I dumped any of it here, it isn’t anyone’s responsibility or concern but my own.

  66. Amblebury says

    Hmm. So many seem to have the stressed and sads. Not good. Not good at all.
    *

    I’ve been on a baking bender of late. We have fruit loaf, gingernuts, lolly cake and sponge kisses. Dig in.
    *

    Tony, that was a close call. Joe, just hugs.

  67. athyco says

    Thanks, Amblebury. The timer on the coffee maker is set to go off in another 20 minutes. I think I’ll press the button early.

  68. athyco says

    I can’t talk guitars worth a hoot because I only learned six…maybe five…chords from my college roommate on her acoustic during our sophomore year. Still in the late phases of producing bad poetry, I wrote some lyrics about roomie and her beau and came up with a tune that could be sung to those chords.

    One night, she said a group of us were going out to dinner, but once we piled into her car, she drove us out of town. They’d planned my birthday surprise: a trip to an itty bitty recording studio. They paid for 20 copies of a 45 of my song. It was a great, original birthday present/experience, and my mom still has one of those 45s. But, OMFSM, do I cringe to even think about it now, much less have her play it.

  69. carlie says

    Azkyroth, Tony, Joe – you are all three interesting, caring people who seem to have had a lot of personal growth over the last few years, and also live in places where good friends are hard to come by. It’s a somewhat flippant-sounding comment, but esp. for Joe (who just moved), are there local volunteer groups you could hook up with and find some interesting people? I’ve been in my current location over a decade and there are still groups i’m finding out about – some of them unfortunately have horrible marketing and it’s hard to find them. Or lots of cities have community education classes through a community college or county organization that you could sign up to take or even teach, like intro guitar or basic computer programming and such. I’m sorry if that sounds trite or out of touch, it’s just something I’ve done when I feel kind of disconnected

  70. FossilFishy(Anti-Vulcanist, with anit to pick) says

    Joe, I’ve been where you are. I’m so sorry that your in a bad place right now.

    There’s something that I’d like you to consider. The words on your screen come from real, living, breathing people. People who think you are a good person with something to contribute to this community. I fully understand the need for friends in meatspace, again, I’ve been there. But we are real and we, well, me at least, I shouldn’t speak for others, I care.

    Please don’t take this as any kind of condemnation of you. Depression turns everything inside out, it’s a not-so-fun-house mirror when it comes to these things, distorting everything for the worse. So to be clear: I say this as a simple reminder that while we aren’t there with you in the flesh, we are with you here, in our words, and in our concern.

    There’s something else I’d like you to consider: those of us who choose to respond do so of our own free will. I’m an adult. I own my feelings. I own my actions. I choose who I talk to, who I care about and no one, no. fucking. one. can force me to care about them. Not in meatspace, and most especially not at that one step remove of the internet.

    Please hold onto that thought as I say this to you, one human to another:

    I care what happens to you.

    I care that you’re hurting.

    I wish that I could do something to help.

    And this one, this one is the big thing, the one that I hope you can hear:

    Your depression is lying to you.

    It’s telling you that you are not worthy of that care. It’s telling you that you shouldn’t ask for help, that you don’t deserve help. That you are some kind of burden to born rather than a person to be cared for willingly, without obligation or reservation.

    And all I can do to fight that voice, that intimate voice that knows you so well, that knows how to subvert all the good that you are, that knows how to twist the world-as-it-is into one that reflects back a caricature of you, distorted and false, all I can do to fight it is to say again:

    I care.

    I choose to care.

    I choose to care because everything I’ve seen of your character here over the last year or more speaks to a person worthy of that care.

    Please do not believe the lying bastard that is the voice of your depression.

    Please believe me.

    And if you can’t, and I know when I was in your state I couldn’t, then please humour me and pretend that I am telling the truth.

    And once you’ve accomplished that nigh on impossible task, let’s talk about guitars, or goldfish, or god, or gorgonzola, or guns. I’s got opinions. Oh yes indeedy I do. Very strong opinions on all those subjects and hearing your opinions would make me happy, especially if we disagree.

    And with that I must to bed. One of the things that I hate about being timezonally opposed to the North American Horde is that I have to drop these things and then leave. I’m not likely to be able to return here until this time tomorrow.

    And understand too, that you are in no way obligated to engage me on this, or any other issue for that matter. So if you’re not up to it, or if you feel I’ve overstepped any boundaries please forgive me and I’ll not mention it again.

  71. Ogvorbis says

    Tony:

    Bummer. But at least you found out before things got deep. Or too weird,

    iJoe:

    Too bad about the guitar.

    Happy Monday to one and all!

  72. Beatrice says

    I just made whipped cream from a powder package with end-of-life in 2008.
    O.O
    It’s delicious.

  73. says

    Ok, there’s some news there, this flat isn’t going to get cleaned today. We’re running like the 5th load of dirty laundry and heavens know how much that kid is still going to puke.
    It’s also raining ice.
    Also, a couch with washable covers is the best thing ever *sitting in a totally not puked on armchair*

  74. Ogvorbis says

    We’re running like the 5th load of dirty laundry and heavens know how much that kid is still going to puke.

    Lots of sympathy.

  75. Beatrice says

    Ogvorbis,
    :)

    I’m just hoping the lactose won’t abuse me right back, in revenge for mixing it with the out of date powder.

  76. chigau (無味ない) says

    It’s -26°C and we hafta go out.
    *whine*
    Oh well. I can buy some rum on the way home.
    —-
    Hugs for everyone for last night.

  77. carlie says

    Whyyyyyyy are there so many waiting steps involved in painting correctly?
    Wait for all the patches you had to put on the peeled parts to dry.
    Realize you missed a few spots, put on new patches, wait to dry.
    Put primer on, wait to dry.
    I hate waiting.

  78. Beatrice says

    carlie,

    You can go over to Thunderdome to poke douglas while he resolutely ignores you.

  79. Ogvorbis says

    I have. Luckily, I’ve only started grossing myself out after I finished eating. :)

    The good news is that a lot of foods with sell by or use by dates really don’t go bad unless things go all wahoonie-shaped. I used a can of enchilada sauce last night that passed its sell by date in 2002. It was still good.

  80. Beatrice says

    Yeah, I figured that it probably can last quite long since it is powdered.

    I also have a bag of powdered cake glaze with end date in ’98, but I’m not planning to use that one. I now consider it a collector’s item that I’m saving for posterity.

  81. says

    Uncontrolled emissions from the other end, OTOH? That is pretty bad.

    Could we please stop talking about that?
    It hasn’t happened yet and I’d rather pretend that this is not a likely option for the near future.
    OTOH, the other end is in a diaper right now, hard to do with a mouth….
    Load #6…

  82. Ogvorbis says

    Sorry, Giliell.

    Good luck.

    ==========

    What the hell happened to the serifs?

    Who shot the serif?

  83. Parrowing buıʍoɹɹɐd says

    Pretty ‘rupt, sorry about that.

    Just need to vent a bit because I hate my landlord. I HATE MY LANDLORD. Okay, that feels better. The laundry room is out of service for the sixth or so time in the last year and a half, and the second time this week. Instead of just buying one new washer and one new dryer (because there’s only one of each to begin with, which is another issue), the landlord insists on what feel like temporary repairs or just shifts another set of ancient machines to our building from another building he owns. If we got new machines that didn’t take 2 and 1/2 hours per load, then maybe people wouldn’t be trying to steal each other’s laundry time either. To top it all off, no one is picking up the weekend on-call number. If this was the only thing the landlord had royally fucked up, I might be willing to let him slide a bit more. But alas, it is not, and I will allow no more. In actuality, I’ll pout and wonder when it is that I’ll finally be able to get the fuck out of this apartment/town. /endrant

    I saw the play that I mentioned a few hundred comments ago. It was great, but even better… I met the author of the original piece! I am so excited about this. :D

  84. Parrowing buıʍoɹɹɐd says

    Beatrice: “I also have a bag of powdered cake glaze with end date in ’98, but I’m not planning to use that one. I now consider it a collector’s item that I’m saving for posterity.”

    A year or so ago I found a bottle of some sort of medical liquid with an expiration year of 1986 in my parents’ medicine cabinet. I’m pretty sure I would have gotten lectured at had I suggested we throw it away.

    (I attempted to blockquote what Beatrice wrote but whenever I try this, the quote is non-existent in preview. I guess I could try just testing it anyway next time because I know preview is not perfect, but of course I could just be missing something obvious. If any of you could explain what it is I’m doing wrong (assuming I am, because I probably am), I’d be ever so grateful. I’m using the blockquote cite tag and pasting the comment between the quotation marks.)

  85. says

    Thanks for putting up with me last night, those couple of you who were up and about. The depression and insomnia combo is pretty bad, but it could have been much worse. I didn’t fall into a pit of despair or anything…

    … at least not until I saw the stuff you people are putting into your bodies! What the everloving chipmunk fuck are you folks thinking? Of course, I’ve got an emergency can of soup that’s got to be pretty close to its expiration date, that has followed me through two moves.

  86. Ogvorbis says

    … at least not until I saw the stuff you people are putting into your bodies!

    What things? Black bean chili mole? Pork enchilada casserole? Black bean chili mole enchilada casserole? Them’s good eatin’!

  87. Ogvorbis says

    What things? Things from last century things!!

    Oh. Those things.

    In my defense, my enchilada sauce was from 2002. Which is this century.

    However, I did smoke a Cohiba Red Dot from 1990 last week.

    And my scotch was distilled in about 1982.

    So, yeah, I am eating things (or smoking and drinking) from last century.

    (Actually, Wife was born last century . . . .)

  88. athyco says

    I’m horrified. I just realized how I ended up in Thunderdome.

    douglas1102 simply must be my first ex. Or his clone.

    I apologize. The only extenuating circumstance was that I at least jumped quickly on Nerd’s lead to Thunderdome.

  89. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    The Redhead had me download a recipe for Swiss steak to try today. Should be interesting…

  90. David Marjanović says

    O hai!

    Cesta do pravěku is on YouTube!!!

    It’s a Czech film from the 1950s, “the path/journey to primordial time”, and part of any classical education. Watch it.

    Yeah, it’s in Czech, but there isn’t much dialogue. Just watch the scenery; most of it is animated straight out of the paintings of Zdeněk Burian.

    kthxbai

  91. Beatrice says

    Giliell,

    Read it. Read iiiiiit! I even used ROTFLMAO, that‘s how weird it is.

    —-
    athyco,
    I’m sorry he dragged you in. But then again, he dragged the rest of us in too, just in a different way. Douglas is like a vortex of WTF. Or the abyss. You look in, perplexed, and the abyss douglas drags you in and then there’s a rabbit in a top hat and everything!

    —-
    Joe,

    But I’m fine! And it was really delicious. You don’t want to know the date on the preserved sataraš (kind of tomato sauce (home made)) I used up last week.

    —-

  92. carlie says

    Oh god, this is so awful and hilarious I have to tell somebody, but I can’t tell anyone I see regularly.

    Our basement is divided into two halves, a finished and unfinished half, with a door between. There is a utility sink in the unfinished half. For the last 8 months, on and off I’ve been noticing a sewer-ish smell in the utility sink. This has scared me to death over the possible plumbing costs of whatever it is. I called the town and had them clean out the main sewer line first in case there was backup. The smell goes away, the smell comes back, there is no rhyme or reason. I run water often to make sure the trap doesn’t dry, etc.

    Today, I figured it out. I was rinsing out some paintbrushes in the sink, and the smell was awful. Then, finally I noticed it – a bit of a yellowish tinge in the sink around the drain. Hm. I rubbed at it with the paintbrush, and it came right off. Then a lightbulb went off in my head as one neuron in a far away place in my brain connected with this observation. I occasionally hear a sound late at night that sounds like the door between the halves closing, a sound I always attributed to the fact that child 1, whose bedroom is in the finished half, hates having the door open but sometimes doesn’t notice it at first when he goes down there, but light from those windows comes in and affects his ability to sleep. So I assumed he would wake up and notice the door open and close it.

    Yeah no. The little shit has been peeing in the sink so he doesn’t have to come upstairs in the middle of the night! I don’t want to yell at him directly for it, because honestly if I was him and his age I can’t say I might not have come upon that solution myself. So instead, I went and had a talk with him about how there’s been a sewer smell coming from that sink (at which time his eyes got the “oh crap no help” look), and how it “might” be an issue of the drain trap and I don’t want to have to spend a lot of money to check it out, so could he start running water in the sink a few times a day when he’s down there? I figure that will either scare him into not doing it any more, or at least into rinsing the sink out when he’s does it, either of which would solve the problem. For fuck’s sake.

    Ok, I’m sorry, I just had to get that off of my chest. :D

  93. says

    ijoe
    Sorry for the delay, we had some drama here t home, but you have my entire sympathies, as I’m in pretty much the same boat. I wish I could offer advice, but if i knew any that worked I’d have done it myself. All I can really offer is *hugs*

  94. The Mellow Monkey says

    carlie: Ahh, kids. :D That is hilarious. You handled that wonderfully, though.

  95. Azkyroth Drinked the Grammar Too :) says

    My daughter apparently had the bright idea of peeing in the bathroom trash can for a while. >.>

    Also, she’s apparently developed a habit of putting toilet paper in the trash can instead of in the toilet, presumably in response to the toilet in her mother’s apartment which said mother SWEARS she keeps bugging the landlord about but can’t be bothered to actually get fixed no matter how many times I point out that she has the right to call a plumber and withhold the difference from her rent if they won’t fix it.

  96. says

    it’s only the 3rd week of classes, and I already have 1 quiz, 1 exam, and 3 assignments due. And my Cthulhu investigators stridently refuse to go insane and/or die (they fail most of their spot hidden checks, but succeed at most of their SAN checks. WTF.)

    This semester is going to be the death of me.

    [/nerd problems]

  97. says

    and on a different note: I might be able to go to WIS2 after all. So, are there any DC-area couches I (and maybe the boyfriend, too) could possibly crash on for that weekend?
    And could someone who’s on facebook/pet more regularly ask the DC-area folks there if they’d have a spot?

  98. carlie says

    Thanks for the commiseration. :) I do think it’s pretty funny. But I can’t share with anyone IRL here partly because of the embarrassment to the boy, but also sadly because most people I know here would think I ought to shame and throw the book at him. :(

    Sorry about the sickness, Giliell.

  99. ChasCPeterson says

    carlie, you’re a good mom.
    Sink-peeing as an option is kind of a guy thing. As a last resort, I’m saying, not a mere convenience.
    (btw, if you’re interested, I responded to some of your comments in the NYTimes thread. If not, that’s cool too.)

  100. Rev. BigDumbChimp says

    Sink peeing.

    I’ve seen people do this at concerts when a perfectly good urinal is open.

    People need to be smacked.

  101. chigau (無味ない) says

    Jadehawk
    “not just a guy thing”
    uumm, yes
    I, too, may have heard something…

  102. cicely (No Description Available.) says

    *polishing counter-top with rag*
    So, what’s on yer mind, iJoe?
    *reading further*

    Really, I just wish I could form the sort of two-way meaningful relationships that other people seem to make as easy as breathing,

    Nope. Can’t do that.

    and that for me have only happened handful of times in my entire life.

    Still talkin’ about me, iJoe.

    Hell, I didn’t even have a genuine or remotely healthy relationship with my parents until I was in my early 30s.

    Still don’t have one with my mother in my mid 50s. And my father is dead.
     
    Perhaps I can (to at least some degree) understand more-or-less the general direction from which you are coming; and if I can help by listening, I will. And clearly there are others here who can empathize as well.

    Improbable Joe: Thread Killer!

    Carry on folks, nothing to see here.

    Nope. The Thread periodically slows down, whether you stop cranking or not. Co-relation ≠ causation. Remember that Depression is a callous, malicious, lying bastard that explicitly does not have your best interests at heart, will deceive you any way it can, and will do its best to suck the joy out of Every. Fucking. Thing. That is what it does. That is its job.
     
    I know that this statement carries no emotional weight while your spirits are obsessively (and there is no intended dig, in that choice of word) circling the drain…but keeping it in mind rationally may help.

    Oh, dear. Giliell, sorry to hear about your youngling-mediated zombification.
     
    Remember: Never eat dead or diseased braaaaiiinz.

    I fully understand the need for friends in meatspace, again, I’ve been there. But we are real and we, well, me at least, I shouldn’t speak for others, I care.

    iJoe…what FossilFisshy said. The rest of it, too.

    I also have a bag of powdered cake glaze with end date in ’98, but I’m not planning to use that one. I now consider it a collector’s item that I’m saving for posterity.

    I tried that argument with The Husband, in relation to a jar of maraschino cherries, to no avail. They were only something like 8 years old, and hadn’t even started to fade from the sunlight, yet! Just think of the future archaeologists cheated of their prey!
     
    It makes me sad.

    *hugs* for Parrowing.

    Oh god, this is so awful and hilarious I have to tell somebody, but I can’t tell anyone I see regularly.

    I *snortled*.

    *eyeing length of post*
    Hit “Submit Comment”, cicely.
    -

  103. cicely (No Description Available.) says

    And my Cthulhu investigators stridently refuse to go insane and/or die (they fail most of their spot hidden checks, but succeed at most of their SAN checks. WTF.)

    oh, and they just blew up the solution to the investigation (literally. with dynamite)

    Weeeellll…once upon a time, in a GURPS Discworld game, we left the plot-hook tied to a fence post in the freezing cold night.
     
    The GM was appalled and discombobulated, it being his first campaign GMing.
     
    Then there was this other time that our Marvel Superheroes group accidentally blew up much of Disneyworld, and part of Cuba, and all of Cape Canaveral.
     
    Then there was this other other time….
    -