Ryan is considering the sexualization of the female body in geek art, and like all of us people with Y chromosomes, my first thought was, “But what about the meeeeeennnnzzz?” (if you’re reading this aloud, as I’m sure you do, be sure to put a good nasal whine into the phrase). Fortunately, my question has been answered, because Jim Hines and John Scalzi are using SF book covers as guides for posing sexily.
You might not want to click on that link if you’re the sensitive sort.
Scalzi is always willing to indulge in these kinds of stunts, and I’m thinking that a truly malicious sort of person could send him SF and comic book covers that would land him in the hospital with severe spinal injuries and broken ribs and shattered legs. Because, you see, this is what happens to us poor, weak, pitiful men when we try to keep up with those infinitely flexible creatures made out of rubber bands and balloons called “women”.
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Caine, Fleur du mal
11 December 2012 at 10:45 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Jim Hines wins that pose off, but John Scalzi gets something something for almost making me drop hot tea all over myself.
The Mellow Monkey: Caerie
11 December 2012 at 10:51 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I’m going to forever picture Scalzi like that. Lurking in some bizarre and uncomfortable position, holding a crossbow he can’t possibly fire without falling over…waiting.
The expression on his face is really what sells it.
Josh, Exasperated SpokesGay
11 December 2012 at 10:56 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Escher Guys!
Janine: Hallucinating Liar
11 December 2012 at 10:57 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I will not be impressed until one of them poses, showing off both breasts and butt.
Caine, Fleur du mal
11 December 2012 at 11:01 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Janine:
If I remember right, Jim Hines already attempted that pose in the early poses. He didn’t have much good to say about that pose, either.
Josh, Exasperated SpokesGay
11 December 2012 at 11:01 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
In the meantime, Janine, check out my Twitter avatar. It’s the USS Enterprise in a boobs-n-butt pose:
https://twitter.com/SpokesGay
Emrysmyrddin
11 December 2012 at 11:01 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I love this so much I can barely type for laughing.
Janine: Hallucinating Liar
11 December 2012 at 11:07 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
The Enterprise had a come hither look for Kirk?
Kinky!
Beatrice
11 December 2012 at 11:10 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I knew I’d seen something similar already, and now that I’ve managed to dig out the link, I see it’s Jim Hines trying out more poses:
http://www.jimchines.com/2012/01/striking-a-pose/
Beatrice
11 December 2012 at 11:11 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
And now I see Caine already mentioned that.
Sorry, I just skimmed the comments to check no one else linked to this already.
Giliell, Approved Straight Chorus
11 December 2012 at 11:14 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Jim Hines has several series on this, also one on male characters where he came to the conclusion that they hurt less and although often silly still showed of their strength and tho teh Seggthie.
He also writes entertaining books
Caine, Fleur du mal
11 December 2012 at 11:14 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Beatrice, I mentioned it, but I didn’t link – thanks for that!
Janine: Hallucinating Liar
11 December 2012 at 11:14 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Regarding #9.
Oh John Ringo no!
Audley Z. Darkheart (liar, scoundrel, college dropout)
11 December 2012 at 11:15 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
As if I needed another reason to ♥ Scalzi… .
Cynickal
11 December 2012 at 11:16 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I’m disturbed.
… That so many authors own crossbows.
Rodney Nelson
11 December 2012 at 11:19 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Cynickal #15
It’s only a problem if you’re an overzealous editor…or a critic.
NelC
11 December 2012 at 11:38 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Since Escher guys have been mentioned, I think I should explicitly link to Escher Girls so you can see more horrible examples of bad posing and bad anatomy, if you should want to.
Gregory Greenwood
11 December 2012 at 11:46 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
That Jim Hines actually went so far as to shave one of his legs* adds an extra level of awesomnitude to proceedings.
————————————————————————————————————————–
* And who would have thought that a bearded SF author would have such nice looking legs?
Caine, Fleur du mal
11 December 2012 at 11:49 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Gregory:
His wife?
:scampers off:
Gregory Greenwood
11 December 2012 at 12:41 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Caine, Fleur du mal @ 19;
True, but she’s probably biased.
Scampering – ’tis the cutest mode of locomotion. Even more so when you have nice (multi-jointed arthropod) legs.
I mean, just look at this
adoreable fella…
Caine, Fleur du mal
11 December 2012 at 12:45 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Gregory:
Eeeee, must have!
F [disappearing]
11 December 2012 at 1:17 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I’ll just fix that explicit link to Escher Girls to explicitly link to Escher Girls.
holytape
11 December 2012 at 1:58 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Send him any Rob Liefeld cover. There is absolutely no way anyone could ever pose the way he draws women, and not suffer a horrible death.
Gregory Greenwood
11 December 2012 at 2:39 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Caine, Fleur du mal @ 21;
I know. A plush rendition of cinema’s most infamous acid-blood-toting parasite shouldn’t work. It shouldn’t be cute. It shouldn’t trigger the ‘squee, snuggle attack’ reflex, but somehow it just does.
It is all because we are godless infidels, you understand – we naturally want our own pet biomechanical killing machines.
That and a ready supply of succulent roast babies; what more could a black-hearted member of the Horde ask for…?
Tony ∞The Queer Shoop∞
11 December 2012 at 3:06 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Holytape:
Liefeld does horrible art period. The women are in awkward, sexualized poses, while the men are buff, macho fantasies given _horrible_ form and just as awkward.
I want to see real people attempt to pose like the cover of YOUNGBLOOD #1 (’91).
****
Gregory, Caine:
I do not think I would call that cute…YMMV
NelC
11 December 2012 at 3:12 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Oops! Thanks, F [disappearing]!
Caine, Fleur du mal
11 December 2012 at 3:25 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Tony:
It’s adorable! Of course, I have an actual facehugger – Amelia. She still does that to me when I’m trying to sleep.
auntbenjy
11 December 2012 at 3:52 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Rion Sabean is officially my new hero :D
I’m not sure I should admit this here, but I am a Conan RPG player (and no, I don’t play a temptress). Illustrations like this are an endless source of amusement for us. Not quite an Escher Girl, but still WTF.
http://www.amazon.com/Adventures-Hyborian-Conan-Mongoose-Publishing/dp/1905850522
Rodney Nelson
11 December 2012 at 3:58 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Tony ∞The Queer Shoop∞ #25
For some reason Liefeld cannot draw feet.
The Mellow Monkey: Caerie
11 December 2012 at 4:02 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
But he really, really likes pouches.
Ogvorbis: 300-year-old Woodcut
11 December 2012 at 4:13 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Well done.
Jim Hines is very good at mocking stereotypes. Especially the ones that make no sense. His Goblin Quest trilogy is a perfect example.
Audley Z. Darkheart (liar, scoundrel, college dropout)
11 December 2012 at 5:14 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Auntbenjy
Heh. Mr Darkheart plays, too.
Gregory Greenwood
11 December 2012 at 5:15 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
Tony ∞The Queer Shoop∞ @ 25;
It appears that you and I, good sir, have very different definitions of cute…
Amarantha
11 December 2012 at 6:59 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
This is awesome. But all the “ew, hairy men are posing, you can’t unsee it” rhetoric makes me a bit sad. It’s just the other side of the “women are sexy by definition” coin. I agree that the pose is ridiculous for any human being, but I think the blokes look awesome in their slinky dresses and spiky shoes. Looking forward to Stross’s pose for the $5,000 milestone.
makeinu
11 December 2012 at 7:43 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
I’ve always loved Scalzi for his writing (“Fuzzy Nation” was brilliant), and his long-ago entry, Being Poor is a perennial favorite of mine, but this?
Pure. Fucking. Gold.
John Morales
11 December 2012 at 7:50 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
[OT]
Amarantha,
Try freeze-framing people dancing, and you’ll see many ridiculous poses.
sgailebeairt
11 December 2012 at 8:27 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
….speaking of ridonkulous poses, anyone else catch teh Amazing atheist freaking out, over the #hawkeyeinitiative this past week….??
Rodney Nelson
11 December 2012 at 8:47 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
sgailebeairt #37
No. Or to put it another way, HELL NO!
sgailebeairt
12 December 2012 at 8:08 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment
huh it looks like he took it down….it was very dumb & mostly him, totally missing the point, like ‘how is it okay for blacks to say, i mean women to exploit men???…but here is doubling down on his basic argument in a snit at with dave willis
http://amazingatheist.tumblr.com/post/37566048181/actually-this-comic-kinda-makes-my-point-better