[The scene: a misty auditorium in an undefinable state in the universe. The seats are occupied by ghosts; Sir Roger Penrose presides benignly from a pulpit overlooking all. He gestures, and Stuart Hameroff rises to deliver the sermon.]

Quantum quantum quantum. Quantum quantum. Quantum quantum quantum quantum, quantum quantum quantum, quantum *quantum* quantum. Quantum quantum. Quantum our experience of consciousness quantum is the result of quantum gravity effects inside these quantum microtubules – a process they call quantum orchestrated objective reduction (Orch-OR) quantum quantum, quantum quantum.

Quantum, quantum quantum. Quantum quantum quantum, quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum. Quantum quantum. The quantum information within the microtubules is not destroyed, it can’t be destroyed, it just quantum distributes and dissipates to the universe at quantum large. Therefore, quantum.

In a near-death experience the microtubules lose their quantum state but the information within them is not quantum destroyed. Quantum quantum. Quantum quantum quantum. Or in layman’s terms, the soul does not die but returns to quantum the quantum universe quantum. Quantum. Quantum quantum quantum quantum quantum, quantum quantum Quantum.

Quantum, my preciousss. We wants it, quantum quantum.

[Hameroff sits back down. Penrose smiles and silently blesses the audience. All disappear, quantally, as the quantum choir chants about quanta.]

## 641 comments

Skip to comment form ↓

## erikthebassist

2 November 2012 at 7:01 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

have a good weekend folks, I’m quantahere.

## Goodbye Enemy Janine

2 November 2012 at 7:01 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Quantumwater Jack

## Tethys

2 November 2012 at 7:02 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

I am sick of these mother fucking quantas, on this mother fucking quantum!

## Ogvorbis: Still failing at being human.

2 November 2012 at 7:03 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Quantum Canyon National Park

## chigau (違う)

2 November 2012 at 7:03 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

and I was

justgoing to make a comment about Page2.Oh well. You snooze, you quantumn.

## Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought

2 November 2012 at 7:04 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Yippee-ki-yay, quantumfucker

## Ogvorbis: Still failing at being human.

2 November 2012 at 7:04 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

I wonder what the fastest to 500 comments on Quantumgula has been? Did this one top it?

## Tethys

2 November 2012 at 7:05 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Frankly Quantum, I don’t give a damn.

## Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought

2 November 2012 at 7:06 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Ogvorbis,

It quantumed it!

## Tethys

2 November 2012 at 7:07 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

The quantum bunny thread filled up rather quickly.

## F [i'm not here, i'm gone]

2 November 2012 at 7:07 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

With his businesslike anger and his bloodhounds that knee

If he needs a quantum tubule he just grows it

He just needs you to talk or to hand him his chalk

Or pick it up after he distributes and dissipates to the universe at quantum large

## madtom1999

2 November 2012 at 7:08 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Penrose – thats the bugger that misrepresented Finkelstien in 62 and has caused all sorts of crap since.

## Ogvorbis: Still failing at being human.

2 November 2012 at 7:10 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Beware the Quantawock, my son!

The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!

Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun

The frumious Bandersnatch!

## Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought

2 November 2012 at 7:11 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

I’m knackered.

Quantum night, and quantum luck!

## fullyladenswallow

2 November 2012 at 7:12 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

What? No Deepak?

## Ogvorbis: Still failing at being human.

2 November 2012 at 7:13 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

This is a serious thread, so, no.

## chigau (違う)

2 November 2012 at 7:28 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

That’s it?

You’re all satisfied with a mere 516 comments.

I am deeply quantumed in you.

## timgueguen

2 November 2012 at 7:29 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Someplase there is someone who talks about quantas physics. Elsehwere sis osmeone who thinks Australia’s naitonal airline is Quantum.

## F [i'm not here, i'm gone]

2 November 2012 at 7:40 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Penrose quantum physics: brain enema.

## Hurin

2 November 2012 at 7:41 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Everyone’s got something to hide but me and my Quantum.

I am become Deepak destroyer of Quantum.

Tunnelin into Los Angeles, bringing in a couple of keys, don’t touch my bags if you please Mr. Quantum man.

Impaled Northern Moonquantum

Dungeons and Quanta.

## ex machina

2 November 2012 at 7:46 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Quisquis aliquod quantum scientia microtubulorum sciens quanta quoque quaeret.

## A. R

2 November 2012 at 7:49 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Quantum PCR! (Oh yeah, I just made PCR even more of a headache!)

## Hurin

2 November 2012 at 7:50 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Do wavefunctions dream of quantum sheep?

Self Consistent Field of Dreams.

…if you minimize it they will come.

On a serious note, I sometimes wonder if the Chopra cultists find density functional theory threatening. Do they know that it exists I wonder?

## Hurin

2 November 2012 at 7:50 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

No, I lied. That really isn’t serious.

## F [i'm not here, i'm gone]

2 November 2012 at 7:50 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Roger Penrose, you are completely hosed

Your theory is a failure, the woo is too extreme

You are just a poser, pwnd, you’re physics’ prisoner

Return to study Kepler

Forget this quantum dream

## John Morales

2 November 2012 at 7:54 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Apocryphal Euler to Diderot:

, therefore God exists.

Hameroff and Penrose:

, therefore souls exist.

## Ogvorbis: Still failing at being human.

2 November 2012 at 7:56 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

I was born a poor black quantum.

## Woo_Monster, Sniffer of Starfarts

2 November 2012 at 7:59 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

A Quantum Orange

## Woo_Monster, Sniffer of Starfarts

2 November 2012 at 7:59 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

A Quantum of Dunces

## Woo_Monster, Sniffer of Starfarts

2 November 2012 at 8:00 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

To Your Scattered Quantum Go.

## kemist, Dark Lord of the Sith

2 November 2012 at 8:02 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

The Quantum of the Rings

The two Quanta

The Return of the Quantum

## John Morales

2 November 2012 at 8:08 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

“Quantum that doggie in the window (arf, arf)

The one with the waggley tail

Quantum that doggie in the window (arf, arf)

I do hope that doggie’s for sale”

## cm's changeable moniker (quaint, if not charming)

2 November 2012 at 8:10 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Lorem ipsum quantum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit …

*just checking the typeface*

## kemist, Dark Lord of the Sith

2 November 2012 at 8:12 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Even if they did, it’s got…

[insert scary violin music here]

MATHThe

scarykind of math.You know, the kind that has greek letters in it, weird wavy signs, and matrices.

Oh, and, quantum.

## Stevarious, Public Health Problem

2 November 2012 at 8:22 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Well, that quantumlated quickly.

## Stevarious, Public Health Problem

2 November 2012 at 8:25 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

“You know, just simple, microtubules intertwining. You know, very much like– I’m really influenced by Mozart and Bach and it’s sort of in between that. Really it, it’s like a Mach piece, really. It’s…”

“What do you call this?”

“Well, this piece is called ‘Lick My Quantum Pump.”

## Stevarious, Public Health Problem

2 November 2012 at 8:27 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

“Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good quantum by your side, kid.”

## Stevarious, Public Health Problem

2 November 2012 at 8:28 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

“You idiots! These are not them! You’ve captured their stunt quantums!”

## Stevarious, Public Health Problem

2 November 2012 at 8:32 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

I guess everyone gave up. Oh well. One last offering, for quantumsperity:

“Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my quantum gal! Send me your kiss by string, baby I’m a quantum thing ! If you refuse me honey you’ll lose me then you’ll be left alone, oh baby microtube and tell me I’m your woo!”

## betelgeux

2 November 2012 at 8:35 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

All You Need is Quantum

I Am the Quantum

I Can’t Get No Quantum

Can’t You Here Me Quantum

Mellow Quantum

The Night They Drove Old Quantum Down

Up on Quantum Creek

Quantum on Quantum

Dark Side of the Quantum

Quantum in the Wind

## cm's changeable moniker (quaint, if not charming)

2 November 2012 at 8:39 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Dammit. F beat me to it at #116. (I did search for “Lorem ipsum”; “Quantum ipsum” was an imaginitive leap I couldn’t make.)

*haz sad*

*skulks*

## betelgeux

2 November 2012 at 8:41 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Quantumfellas

The Quantum

The Quantum, Part II

Quantum Day Afternoon

Quantum Now

The Quantum Hunter

Some Like it Quantum

Quantum Driver

The Quantum Adventure

Quantum Runner

2001: A Quantum Odyssey

The Lord of the Quantum

The Dark Quantum

Return of the Quantum

## Ermine

2 November 2012 at 8:44 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Quantorum quantorum,supaysu piipiru..

Quantorum Quantorum,supayse piipiru!

## Vijen

2 November 2012 at 8:46 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

@Sastra #48

Did you see this? Intersubjectivity is a fascinating developmental stage. Children move from “reality is what I experience” to “reality is that part of my experience which I know you are also experiencing”. Later, the requirement to “know” is relaxed, for pragmatic reasons, into “believe”. So now there is a contest between my experience and what I believe your experience to be; so clearly, “checks and balances” are useful in establishing the validity of my belief.

And there the matter rests, for most people. But there is a further developmental stage in which the subject is perceived as universal, and “inter”-subjectivity is enjoyed in the same way that one sees through a conjuror’s trick. The earlier state: “reality is what I experience”, is restored; but the “I” has changed entirely.

## machintelligence

2 November 2012 at 8:49 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

I once made a quantum leap … but no-one noticed.

## Randomfactor

2 November 2012 at 8:55 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Quantum ergo sacramentum…

–Randomfactor, who learned the Catholic Mass both in Latin and English before giving it up for Lent…

## Ragutis

2 November 2012 at 9:05 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Queer this thread has become

Under PZ’s strange command

Alacritously the words were spun

No doubt we feared the ban

The forum now itself is groaning

Und’neath this mass of puns

My god Myers, please stop leering and look at what you’ve done!

## chigau (違う)

2 November 2012 at 9:08 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Ragutis

You didn’t say “quantum”.

## chigau (違う)

2 November 2012 at 9:11 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Although “Alacritously” is pretty

~~awe~~quantumsome.## John Morales

2 November 2012 at 9:14 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

[meta]

chigau, :)

(Ragutis decohered the QUANTUM superposition)

## Rev. BigDumbChimp

2 November 2012 at 9:16 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

The Colonel in the Library, with the Quantum

## Rev. BigDumbChimp

2 November 2012 at 9:18 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

The colonel in the library with the Quantum

## Rev. BigDumbChimp

2 November 2012 at 9:20 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Go directly to jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 quantum.

## chigau (違う)

2 November 2012 at 9:21 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

I’ve had a wee dram and am feeling a bit decohered myself.

And I expect it to worsen if I spend more time on the scotty thread.

## Rev. BigDumbChimp

2 November 2012 at 9:21 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

And she’s buying

A stairway

To quantum

## Gonzo

2 November 2012 at 9:22 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Don Quanjote de la Mancha (Cervantes)

Crimen y Quantigo (Dostoevsky)

Cien Años de Quantumnidad (García Marquez)

El Quantum y El Mar (Hemingway)

Quantumberry Finn (M Twain)

La Quantumaña Mágica (T Mann)

Quantum No Es Bueno (Hitchens)

El Quantumjismo de Dios (R Dawkins)

El Manifiesto Quantumnista (Marx)

## AJ Milne

2 November 2012 at 9:27 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

You’re an errand boy. Sent by grocery clerks. To collect a quantum.

## Rev. BigDumbChimp

2 November 2012 at 9:29 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Leave the gun, take the quantum

## Rev. BigDumbChimp

2 November 2012 at 9:32 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Multiquantum

## Rev. BigDumbChimp

2 November 2012 at 9:33 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Say hello to my little quantum

## Rev. BigDumbChimp

2 November 2012 at 9:36 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

What you talkin bout quantum

## Lofty

2 November 2012 at 9:54 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Penrose suffers from a small quantum.

## anteprepro

2 November 2012 at 9:57 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Stop.

Quantumtime.

## A. R

2 November 2012 at 10:01 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum

## anteprepro

2 November 2012 at 10:05 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Fixed for Vijen, who clearly needs someone else to properly translate hir Choprawoo into Deepitese.

## thecalmone

2 November 2012 at 10:11 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Quantumsaurus:

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qantassaurus

## chigau (違う)

2 November 2012 at 10:11 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

We had 8cm of quantum snow.

## Goomba

2 November 2012 at 10:15 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Wow, almost 600 quantum jokes. It’s like the Freakazoid list all over again except this time no one is making stupid Candlejack jok

## Rev. BigDumbChimp

2 November 2012 at 10:17 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

I like big quanta and I cannot lie

## thecalmone

2 November 2012 at 10:18 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Oh, and Quantum dishwasher detergent:

http://www.finishinfo.com.au/finish-quantum.php

## A. R

2 November 2012 at 10:29 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum

## A. R

2 November 2012 at 10:37 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Rev. BDC: Even the quantum tunnel?

## Owlmirror

2 November 2012 at 10:40 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Hello Muddle, hello Fuddle,

Here I am at Camp Quantumnal

It’s so very entertaining

Consciousness works by microtubules draining

We heard a talk by Deepak Chopra

He was elected Quantum Pope, yah

You remember Roger Penrose

He sneezed hard and quantum snot flew out of his nose

When brain death makes its appearance

There’s no quantum decoherence

And your quantum mind vibration

Will have a quantum cosmic synchronization

[stalled out -- maybe moar later]

## chigau (違う)

2 November 2012 at 10:55 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

A. R

dang

I was doing text-numerology on your Quantum Quantum Quantum comment (1st letter of the 1st line, 2nd letter of the 2nd line, etc.) and I kept coming up with “Quantum Quantum Quantum…”

## Mark Sherry

2 November 2012 at 11:01 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

KG wrote:

Ack. Not Incompleteness. Completeness. 1st Incompleteness is that any (FOL) theory that has sufficiently powerful arithmetic is either incomplete or inconsistent, while 2nd Incompleteness is that if a theory has its own consistency as a theorem, it’s inconsistent. Completeness is the one that talks about models and theorems.

## Ragutis

2 November 2012 at 11:03 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

How will I laugh tomorrow, when I quantum laugh today?

Chopra of Quantum – piano version

## chigau (違う)

2 November 2012 at 11:04 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Owlmirror

damn you, too

## A. R

2 November 2012 at 11:11 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Mark: You didn’t say “quantum.” Quantum.

## ibyea

2 November 2012 at 11:19 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

As for movie titles replaced with quantum, Quantum of Solace… Oh wait.

## A. R

2 November 2012 at 11:23 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

ibyea: Quantum of Quantum

## Rev. BigDumbChimp

2 November 2012 at 11:30 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Quantum is for closers

## chigau (違う)

2 November 2012 at 11:32 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

ibyea

Sorry. We did that on Page 1 … three times.

quantum

## Rev. BigDumbChimp

2 November 2012 at 11:34 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Someday we’ll find it

The Quantum Connection

The lovers, the dreamers and me

## Tony! The Queer Shoop

2 November 2012 at 11:36 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

erik:

I find when I steam my quantum, it tastes like PEAS.

## Rev. BigDumbChimp

2 November 2012 at 11:37 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Quantum shot first

## Tony! The Queer Shoop

2 November 2012 at 11:37 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

What did Anya say?

Oh yeah “it must be quantum bunnies!”

## Rev. BigDumbChimp

2 November 2012 at 11:39 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Oh we’ve got both kinds, Quantum and Western.

## Tony! The Queer Shoop

2 November 2012 at 11:39 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

John @32:

Sorry, the Quantum Doggie is sold out.

You’ll have to settle for a Quantum Ferret (I hear Beastmaster had two and they were wonderful furry companions)

## Rev. BigDumbChimp

2 November 2012 at 11:41 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Hungry hungry quanta

## Tony! The Queer Shoop

2 November 2012 at 11:43 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

They’re tiny, they’re toony. They’re all a little loonie. In this cartoony, they’re invading your quantum TV.

There’s Hampton and Plucky. Dizzy Devil Ducky. Furballs are lucky and Quantum Go Go is insane.

At Acme Looniversity we earn our toon degree. The teaching staff’s been getting laughs since Quantum 33. We’re tiny, we’re toony. We’re all a little loony. We’re Tiny Toon Adventures come and join the fun.

And now our quantum song is done!

## Tony! The Queer Shoop

2 November 2012 at 11:44 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

y’know, with this whole Quantum thread, I’m wondering something…how does the echo chamber/groupthink thing work?

## Rev. BigDumbChimp

2 November 2012 at 11:45 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Son, you got a quantum on your head

## Ragutis

2 November 2012 at 11:57 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Inca Roads – Aquantumic cover

What You’re Doing*

*Or maybe not, because… quantum.

## Rev. BigDumbChimp

3 November 2012 at 12:17 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

In the shuffling madness

Of the Quantumotive breath

## A. R

3 November 2012 at 12:37 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

mutnauq

## chigau (違う)

3 November 2012 at 12:38 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Skippin’ down the woowoo stones

lookin’ for fun and feelin’

Quantum!

## Tony! The Queer Shoop

3 November 2012 at 1:00 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

RevBDC @92:

That thing on my head?

It’s so not a hat.

That thing on my head?

It’s Pearl-a great rat! :)

(one of Caine’s that adopted me)

## Tony! The Queer Shoop

3 November 2012 at 1:01 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Oh Ho!

And the thread, she slows down now I see!

## Crudely Wrott

3 November 2012 at 1:15 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

I had a little quantum once

It was my very friend

We used to play

On Quantaday

The good times didn’t end

But then once in a moment

When a word I tried to send

Was not returned

From quantumfriend

The universe did bend

So I bended over likewise

And peered back ‘tween my knees

Now my gently fading smile

Is all the quantum sees

## A. R

3 November 2012 at 1:35 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Tony: You didn;t say “quantum.” Quantum.

## Tony! The Queer Shoop

3 November 2012 at 1:47 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

A.R.

I failed to say Quantum *twice* in a row.

The depth of my spanking shall reach further than any quanta has gone before.

## Crudely Wrott

3 November 2012 at 1:55 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Rules are rules.

Quantum is required.

In my poem I really should have used “quanta” in both the first and last lines.

But PZ said quantum is required.

I dare not tempt his quantum tentacles or the individual quanta that are the suckers thereupon.

Such are the sorrowful compromises of art in the face of brutal authoritarian mega rule.

You can’t escape the voice

You got no choice

You can run and hide

But you can’t escape the voice

*but Tony

didget away with one there. hee hee heeee*## Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought

3 November 2012 at 2:24 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Quantum morning. I see you’re still at it. Quantum, quantum. Carry on.

## DLC

3 November 2012 at 3:13 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

And Deepak Chopra approved of all this extra quantum, before getting on a Qantas flight for Australia, where he split into two of himself, thus demonstrating quantum duality.

## vaiyt

3 November 2012 at 3:19 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Quantum tomatoes are a thing of the past. Quantum bananas are what’s what now.

## blindrobin

3 November 2012 at 3:21 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

The brain it’s like a series of tubes… w/quanta thingies that like coalesce and stuff, where’s my bong?

## FossilFishy (NOBODY, and proud of it!)

3 November 2012 at 4:00 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

” Quantum quantum, quantum…”

[Notices visitors. Stops sawing]

Oh, hi there. Don’t mind me. I’m just taking care of this Gordian knot. Hey! Watch your step there. Don’t want to be tracking Qbits all over the place, cheers.

[Goes back to sawing]

“Quantum quantum, quantum… “

## pentatomid

3 November 2012 at 5:37 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Quantum Maiden

Can I play with Quantum

Quantum of the Dark

The Quantum of the beast

The Quantum of the navigator

The Quantum

Quantum Brothers

Be Quantum or be Dead

Afraid to Shoot Quanta

Brave New Quantum

Seventh Quantum of a Seventh Quantum

2 Quanta to Midnight

Die with your Quanta on

Quantum of Icarus

Out of the Silent Quantum

Quantum of the Opera

Run to the Quanta

The Quantum that Men Do

The Quantum Man

Wasted Quanta

Quantum Slave

## Argle Bargle

3 November 2012 at 5:46 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Quantum, quantum and quantum is no way to go through life, quantum.

## Ogvorbis: Still failing at being human.

3 November 2012 at 6:54 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Badger! Badger! Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Badger! Badger! Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Badger! Badger! Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Badger! Badger! Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum Quantum SNAKE!!!!

## Gregory Greenwood

3 November 2012 at 7:36 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Ogvorbis: broken and cynical @ 110;

As Hideo Kojima teaches us, the correct pronunciation is ‘SNAAAAAAKE!!!!’

## Gregory Greenwood

3 November 2012 at 7:37 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Make that ‘QUANTUM SNAAAAAAKE!!!!’

## Nick Gotts

3 November 2012 at 8:27 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Quantum? Surely the proper term is quanabdomen?

## kemist, Dark Lord of the Sith

3 November 2012 at 10:57 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Curious. And there I was thinking it was quantum bacon.

Also, it’s time to kick ass and chew Quantum. But we seem to have run out of quantum.

## Glen Davidson

3 November 2012 at 11:09 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Penrose and Hameroff have a quantum of woo, and a woo of quantum.

I guess I can’t help but wonder about the souls of dead amoebae, since I guess eukaryotes in general with their microtubules must have quantum consciousness. Or what makes them special in the brain? For that matter, why even evolve brains when you’ve got quantum computers, or potential for same, in every cell?

Oh, they probably have some tripe as an “answer,” like I care what evidence-free “conclusions” they’ve reached, but I think they’d better be prepared for a lot of conversations with single-celled organisms when they tunnel into their precious quantum heaven.

Glen Davidson

## betelgeux

3 November 2012 at 11:12 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Vaiyt @105:

Quantum banana is gonna be a sudden craze…

Quantum banana is gonna be the very next phase…

## blogofmyself, writer of papers

3 November 2012 at 11:18 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Janine:

My Little Pony: Friendship is Quantum. Watch these ponies learn important lessons about quantum. Starring: Quantum Sparkle, Quantumjack, Quantumshy, Quantumpie, Quantumdash, and Wooity!

“My Little Pony!

I used to wonder what quantum could be,

until you all shared its quanta with me.

Big quantum, quantum of fun

A quantum-ful heart, quantum and strong

Sharing quantum, it’s a quantum feat

and quantum makes it all complete!

Yeah, my little pony,

Did you know you’re all my quantum-est friends?”

## Kagehi

3 November 2012 at 11:32 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Yeah, I was, kind of, considering, clarifying my own point by that. The reason macro level things can generate coherency is that their structure, the denser they are, limits the level of decoherence that is possible. You won’t find every molecule jumping to the corner of the room, imo, not because its probabilistically unlikely, but because it would “exceed” the level of decoherence that is possible, given the density of that media. You don’t find a gold brick transforming into a cloud, spontaneously, because the level of interactions in it, **do not allow** that level of decoherence. However, one single particle, inside a gold atom “does” have a fundamental lack of decoherence, *within the constraints given*. To achieve the sort of coherence needed for “quantum intelligence”, or what ever, you would need, I don’t know, Unabtanium? I.e., something about as dense in the literal sense, and the people proposing this in the figurative sense have to be to come up with this stuff. You can’t, on a quantum level, generate the necessary coherence *period*. You can only do so, statistically, on a macro level, as a result of constraints placed on the *over all* state of all particles, within the whole entire bloody system. The smaller your system, the less capable you are of, in effect, ignoring the noise. Sort of like how a cheap radio is less “effective” at picking out a signal, than one which has been designed with far more capacity to, if not filter out, then at least focus on the “signal”, instead of the noise.

The whole point of microtubules seem to be that they ignore this problem entirely, in order to generate more coherence than normal, the smaller they are, or something like that? Wow.. People making microchips, radios, etc. have all be doing it wrong all along, I guess. They should make the gaps “between” things smaller, so they get quantum effects, and allow more noise into the systems, right? lol

## Kagehi

3 November 2012 at 11:50 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Ah!! I think the number of posts showing up in my email from this is making it quantum!

Oh, wait, no… That is just hotmail’s normal “indeterminacy” with respect to its inability to keep track of if you are reading them in order, or the, for some stupid assed reason, the “default” state of, “How about we start with the last one you got, first? No, then, how about, half way through reading your messages, entirely at random, the next one I let you read is the last one you got? No, well.. Nah! I am going to do that anyway!” lol

## Ariaflame, BSc, BF, PhD

3 November 2012 at 12:18 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Where is the Green Quantum?

And I have found this thread a quantum wonder. Also quantum is starting to look wrong.

## jeffran

3 November 2012 at 6:28 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Quantum? I don’t even know ‘um!

## mikmik

4 November 2012 at 3:48 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

One quantum in the hand is worth two nonetheless.

## John Morales

4 November 2012 at 4:09 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Alas, poor Quantum!

I knew him, Horatio

a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy

he hath borne me on his back a thousand times

and now, how abhorred in my imagination it is.

My gorge rises at it.

Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know not how oft. Where be your gibes now? Your gambols? Your songs? Your flashes of merriment, that were wont to set the table on a roar?

## DanDare

4 November 2012 at 8:16 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

My fucking head exploded reading that and now I have to clean all the micro tubules of the screen. Fucking quantum.

## Ogvorbis: Still failing at being human.

4 November 2012 at 8:20 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Unripe Quantum Tomatoes.

## Ariaflame, BSc, BF, PhD

4 November 2012 at 11:01 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

As long as they aren’t Quantum Peas.

## ROTATO

4 November 2012 at 11:10 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

A Suantum of Quolace?

## hymanrosen

4 November 2012 at 1:04 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

@Nick Gotts, This is rapidly exceeding my pay scale, but I believe (from looking at Wikipedia) that you can have non-contradictory systems which are known as omega-inconsistent, in that they contain axioms or theorems which state “there exists a number which represents the proof of T” but simultaneously can prove that any particular number does not represent a proof of T (where T is some particular constructed statement designed to exercise this, like the G statement mentioned above). I think that’s the kind of system you get when you adjoin the negation of a “true but unprovable” statement to its system.

## thecalmone

4 November 2012 at 4:40 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Quantum Cat!

http://blogs.scientificamerican.com/observations/2011/09/21/quantum-cheshire-cat-even-weirder-than-schrodingers/

## kemist, Dark Lord of the Sith

4 November 2012 at 5:06 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Actually, some people

aretrying to develop quantum computers using the spin state of hydrogen nuclei to store information. Advantage is size of course but also that if you use other atoms, you can find nuclei with more than two spin states (hydrogen has +1/2 and -1/2, and fluorine for instance has +1, 0 and -1, if my memories are correct).Problem is, you need one of these to write, read and keep information in this system.

## Hurin

4 November 2012 at 10:43 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

kemist

I love those. I don’t know how I would do research without them.

Do you know if there are requirements for the field of the instrument used in the processor? I saw an article in Angewandte Chemie not long ago talking about pocket size NMR magnets. Those might still have price tag issues, but if they were fit for the purpose of quantum computing, at least they might help engineers build smaller computers than eniac.

## simulateddave

4 November 2012 at 10:47 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

That quantum really tied the room together.

## im

5 November 2012 at 12:35 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Ever hear of the Society for the prevention of Cruelty to Quantum Physics? Maybe it should get a reboot.

## John Morales

5 November 2012 at 1:03 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Hurin,

So there’s a real possibility of a quantum MANIAC?

(Cool!)

## birgerjohansson

5 November 2012 at 3:26 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

The Seventh Quantum

Let The Right Quantum In

The Texas Quantum Massacre

## goatboy

5 November 2012 at 4:03 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Debbie does quantum.

## Kagehi

5 November 2012 at 10:30 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Well, my point wasn’t that you couldn’t, maybe, make something that can do that, given all the right conditions, but that these people are suggesting the equivalent of reading a paper book in a plasma furnace. There is a difference between building something with very clear delineations between the quantum and non-quantum parts of the system, and sort of, maybe taking advantage of the result, and trying to get the same thing out of a system that lacks any of the constraints necessary for it to function in such a fashion. They are trying to get quantum computing out of something that is even sloppier than a silicon chip, and anyone with any clue knows that one of the fundamental limits on such designs is, “The gaps get too small to prevent the quantum noise from scrambling the actual data.”

In any case, the point still stands. Within the parameters available in a brain, there is no feasible reason to believe, short of a complete misunderstanding of the problems, to believe that you would get coherent data from such structures. And, if you did they would be… Oops.. “deterministic”, and therefor you don’t have a solution to “free will” anyway.

## Richard Smith

5 November 2012 at 10:40 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Quantum Feud

The Price is Quantum

Wheel of Quantum

What’s My Quantum?

The Newlywed Quantum

The Dating Quantum

The Quantum Game

Win, Lose, or Quantum

Let’s Make a Quantum

The 64 Thousand Dollar Quantum

Win Quantum’s Money

Who’s Quantum is it Anyway?

## Raging Bee

5 November 2012 at 2:44 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

What, no references to qualia?

## Raging Bee

5 November 2012 at 2:48 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

One quantum in the hand is worth two nonetheless.Are you sure those two aren’t actually the same one?

## goatboy

5 November 2012 at 5:42 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

To quantum or not to quantum : that is the question

Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and quantums of outrageous quantum,

Or to take arms against a sea of quantums

And by opposing end them?

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