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Confirmed: Hotel owners are tasteless

Sure, you say—look at the Hiltons and Leona Helmsley and Donald Trump, and it looks clear that hotel ownership is either a magnet for horrible awful people, or it’s a profession that rots the mind. But this goes too far: a British hotel is replacing Gideon’s Bible with Fifty Shades Of Grey. Well, it’s reported to be so in The Mail, which while making the claim a little more dubious also magnifies the tackiness.

Also, who reads any of the crap literature tossed into hotel room drawers?

Comments

  1. BaldySlaphead says

    I call bullshit. The entire Daily Heil story appears to be based on a throwaway comment on this tech story: http://www.technewsdaily.com/4495-kindles-replace-gideon-bibles-hotel.html

    “They can also load other content, which will simply appear as a room charge on their bills. Hmm, so presumably you could download “Fifty Shades of Gray” to your Bible ereader.”

    What a surprise that the Daily Meh appears to be pulling things from its rancid arse…

  2. Jeremy Shaffer says

    I don’t know, making it a choice between the bible and Twilight fan fiction sounds more like sadism than tackiness to me. Not that one excludes the other: I’m sure there are a few doms out there that forgo leather and vinyl for gold lamé.

  3. says

    This story seems to be bullshit.

    However, it is true that the Marriott Hotels in Utah and Idaho put the Book of Mormon in their bedside tables. And they sell mucho porn through the in-room TVs.

  4. Mattir says

    On the way to Skepticon 3, the Spawns appropriated a Gideon bible from a motel, after collapsing in giggles at the verse John 15:14 (“Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you”) – apparently that reminded them a bit too much of mean girl culture. Now it serves as a mousepad for playing computer games on the couch. I have fond memories of the Horde doing readings from the Book of Mormon at Rhinebeck last year as well – not sure if one followed us home then or not.

  5. Blueaussi says

    Boredom can drive you to do terrible things!

    Sometimes, at my mother’s house, I…I am ashamed to say that I find myself picking up Reader’s Digest.

  6. alkaloid says

    However, it is true that the Marriott Hotels in Utah and Idaho put the Book of Mormon in their bedside tables. And they sell mucho porn through the in-room TVs.

    They’re just trying to help their guests get a good night’s sleep. After all, didn’t Mark Twain call the Book of Mormon “chloroform in print form”?

  7. jessiexl says

    My son found a sealed condom in a hotel Bible once. It was in the middle of Leviticus.

  8. Nepenthe says

    Also, who reads any of the crap literature tossed into hotel room drawers?

    Well, it’s interesting that you would call it “crap” literature…

    What? Don’t tell me that you don’t do it too!

  9. says

    At the Imagine No Religion 2 conference, in Kamloops, BC, the hotel had the teachings of Buddha, rather than the Bible. (At least in the block of rooms designated for the conference.) They either removed the Bibles for fear of theft or vandalism or they never had them. But there’s another hotel in British Columbia that has the same Buddhism book…the Best Western Valemount Inn & Suites on Highway 5. So perhaps the Kamloops hotel never had them.

    -

    And I was just in Whistler, BC, a couple of weekends ago and the drawer had neither. I love BC.

  10. stonyground says

    The Bibles that I see in hotel rooms are always in really pristine condition. Either they change them really frequently or nobody reads them.

  11. Rev. BigDumbChimp says

    My son found a sealed condom in a hotel Bible once. It was in the middle of Leviticus.

    whew

  12. Fred Salvador says

    One is a poorly written, intellectually devoid mess of misogyny, sexual sadism and ineptitude. The other is Fifty Shades Of Grey.

    I’m wasted on you people.

    Everything you read in the Daily Fail needs to be independently verified with at least six external sources. That includes the date printed on the paper. And the page numbers. It is THAT bad.

  13. JustaTech says

    In a fancy hotel in Hawaii I found a bible, some teachings of Buddah, the Book of Mormon, and something in Japanese I couldn’t figure out. They also served miso soup and Siracha on the breakfast buffet, so I guess that was just them trying to cover all the bases.

  14. geniusloci says

    Hardly an improvement. The Song of Solomon is far more erotic, and far more skillfully penned as well.

    However, if hotel proprietors think witty double entendres translated from the ancient Hebrew are too highbrow for their customers, there’s always the Kama Sutra. Bonus: it’s in the public domain.

  15. Trebuchet says

    My great-grandfather, a travelling salesman, was a founding member of The Gideons! His obituary claims that at an early annual meeting it was he who introduced the motion to make spamming hotel rooms with bibles their mission. The society was unable to confirm that.

    He retired at an early age and spent his golden years living off one or another of his children. My mother, as a little girl, hated it when he was at their house because Sundays became a day of sitting quietly in the parlor in your best clothes with folded hands. No playing on the Sabbath!

    I don’t guess he’d think much of me.

  16. geniusloci says

    re: Thomas Lawson

    In a Japanese-run chain hotel in Japantown in San Francisco, we found a copy of the Tao Te Ching instead of a Bible.

    And I have been unsurprised to find the Book of Mormon in Utah hotels.

    However, I think I would prefer to have the means of making a good stiff drink instead of prodigious options for watching in-room porn.

  17. says

    Fifty Shites is crap literature, of course. But what would you rather have in your nightstand drawer to put you in the mood when you’re turning in with (or even without) your sweetie? A Bible, or a book full of fucking?

  18. cag says

    stonyground #17,

    The Bibles that I see in hotel rooms are always in really pristine condition. Either they change them really frequently or nobody reads them.

    Funny thing about that. For some obscure reason, the bibles I have encountered in hotel/motel rooms seem to be in much worse shape after I leave. It must be a miracle.

  19. alektorophile says

    hotel ownership is either a magnet for horrible awful people, or it’s a profession that rots the mind

    I kind of resent that, having grown up in a small hotel owned by my parents (although it might indeed apply to owners of hotel chains). On the other hand, when first introduced to Fawlty Towers in my teens, I had a recurring feeling of déjà vu…

    Also, I have seen bibles and similar waste of otherwise good paper in US hotel rooms, but I am not sure it is a widespread practice on the European continent. My family’s hotel never had them, for one.

  20. says

    Yes, hotel room Bibles usually provide a decent “crack” when you open them, not unlike the sounds my joints make when getting out of bed in the morning.

    -

    True story, my wife used the room’s KJV to kill an insect once. So don’t let anyone tell you it’s not useful sometimes.

  21. peter says

    The bible?

    When Gideon checked out, he left it, no doubt, to aid in poor Rocky’s revival.

  22. says

    A Bible, or a book full of fucking?

    What’s that? I seem to be hearing an echo.

    Anyway I thought that it was usually non-hotel staff dropping off the Bibles in those drawers. Some little gremlin of sorts that the staff just allow to pop into every room to restock the drawers.

    Makes it hard to judge if the fun of playing “hide the Bible” outweighs the assumption the gremlin will leap to, thinking that they’ve set yet another wayward soul down their superstitious path.

  23. Sili (I have no penis and I must jizz) says

    My son found a sealed condom in a hotel Bible once. It was in the middle of Leviticus.

    What do condoms cost in the US? I think I need to make sure such convenient bookmarks are available in all the rooms.

    Srsly. I worked in a community college book depot for a while, and I thought it would have been great to have a bowl of condoms on the counter.

    Hmmm. Remind me to look into getting one or more for work.

  24. Amblebury says

    What, take away the Gideon’s?

    Taking away my spawn’s fun? Not enabling them to write, “SPOILER – JESUS DIES!” inside the front cover?

    Alternatively, “SPOILER – SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE!” has been employed, purely for the mess-with-your-head factor.

  25. eliott1 says

    Just so you know, in Vegas at the Cosmopolitan . No bible however they do have, “Poem of the Pillow and Other Stories” which sure looks like the Japanese version of the Kama Sutra”. My plan is to read this book cover to cover to enhance my education of Japanese masters. Clearly you never know when an educational opportunity will manifest itself and get a rise out of me. Looking for crap in drawers does have benefits.

  26. says

    However, it is true that the Marriott Hotels in Utah and Idaho put the Book of Mormon in their bedside tables. And they sell mucho porn through the in-room TVs.

    Actually, ALL Marriotts have the Book of Mormon. I used to work at one in Cleveland, and we had cases of them, both for the rooms and for anyone who wanted a copy. That’s how I got mine. Old J. Willard Marriott was a Mormon, and I guess he wanted to spread the nuttiness.

  27. Pyra says

    And for the two years I worked in a certain Marriott brand hotel, we also had to be sure there were Books of Mormon in every drawer, whenever they were taken. The Bible was also on hand in the drawers. And the hotel provided them, not an outside entity.