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Jun 11 2012

Episode CCCXXXVII: No sense of humor at all

Yep. No laughs at all here.

(Episode CCCXXXVI: Time for us all to leave.)

P.S. I hate to end the last thread just after Tony bared his soul, but I’ll at least mention you ought to read that.

695 comments

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  1. 501
    Setár, Elvenkitty

    Comment foldover!

    Unfortunately, I have to open up the new set by saying that democracy has died in Canada.

  2. 502
    SQB

    This is a strange question, but I must ask. Since I don’t think any of you know me in meatspace, what do you think I look like?

    I picture you as a former classmate of mine, who had short, almost white blond hair and a pale skin, to the point of looking somewhat like an albino. Even while I do know you don’t look anything like that, the image persists.

    The same classmate has been used as an image of Gantenbein, in Max Frisch’s novel Mein Name sei Gantenbein. I don’t know why.
    ====
    On notpologizing, “I’m sorry my words caused offense”, is sometimes just the plain truth. For instance, consider “I’m sorry if this upsets you, grandpa, but I still think the Catholic Church should be viewed as a criminal organization, for actively covering up for abusers and actually enabling them to continue their abuse at another location.”

    In other words, when one doesn’t consider oneself wrong, but still feels genuinely sorry for the effect ones words had, one should be able to express that sentiment.

  3. 503
    Pteryxx

    JAL, congratz on roomie’s job;

    Bill, hope you find your way back sometime. (Maybe just read the sidebar now and again?)

    I have one of those burning questions that keeps one up at 4 in the morning… I recall a horrible book from English class, one of those classics, that was all about snippy people in high society and how the main character refused to fit into her proper role so she was naturally ostracized. Everything going to heck was her own fault of course, and couldn’t be resolved until she gave in and behaved as she should have. What the heck was this book?

    (It’s relevant because I’m trying to discuss the upcoming Pixar movie Brave and why the premise fills me with such dread.)

  4. 504
    dianne

    @JAL: Bed bugs, chiggers, black flies, fleas, stinging gnats…there are a lot of bugs out there that don’t play nice with mammals. I claim that mosquitoes are the worst because they spread more disease than the other blood sucking insects. Though I’m in perfect sympathy with your desire to rid the planet and especially your apartment of bed bugs. Kill them all. There’s no need for god to sort them out.

  5. 505
    dianne

    @Ptyerxx: Emma? That’s not quite the theme as I remember it, but could fit reasonably well.

  6. 506
    Pteryxx

    dianne, that might’ve been it, trying to follow up now. It shouldn’t surprise me that I don’t see it right, everyone else in the class seemed to think it was great or at worst boring while I, the freak, found it horrific. Sort of meta level nightmare fuel.

  7. 507
    Pteryxx

    …Yeah, Emma is it. “Best-loved romantic comedy” indeed. As a bullied freak in fundie school, I didn’t find class-based shunning and social pressure entertaining, much less that she finds peace in marriage after swearing she’d never marry. Apparently a lot of the story was meant sarcastically, which I also wouldn’t comprehend. *headshake* I might have another look as a grown-up freak, if I can stand the thing long enough to try.

    If “Brave” goes that way, it better earn it, is my two cents.

  8. 508
    JAL: Snark, Sarcasm & Bitterness

    o.O

    Just reading the Wikipedia on Emma made me want to throw up.

    Classics.

    Ugh.

    Yeah, let’s hope for better from Brave.

  9. 509
    JAL: Snark, Sarcasm & Bitterness

    @JAL: Bed bugs, chiggers, black flies, fleas, stinging gnats…there are a lot of bugs out there that don’t play nice with mammals. I claim that mosquitoes are the worst because they spread more disease than the other blood sucking insects. Though I’m in perfect sympathy with your desire to rid the planet and especially your apartment of bed bugs. Kill them all. There’s no need for god to sort them out.

    Very true about the diseases. Of course that doesn’t stop nightmares of beg bugs spreading the same or worse as mosquitoes. The crazy crap my brain has come up to torture me about bed bugs while sleeping is horrendous. Thank dog none of it is real.

  10. 510
    ImaginesABeach

    Any of you mosquito-attractors want to come to Day Camp and follow me around today?

  11. 511
    carlie

    They do not use seasoning.

    Well, that explains part of why your FIL is so into fatty foods – the only flavoring he gets to have is fat. Your MIL sounds like my mom; I had never eaten anything with onions in it until I was out of college and cooking on my own. I’d never even seen a whole garlic clove until I was out of college, I think.
    There’s an episode of The Simpsons where Marge is at a chili cook-off sale and sees a spice rack, and says something like “Eight spices? Some must be repeats. Oh-re-gah-no? What the hell?” Always made me think of my house growing up. :)

    I am not even thinking about scabies. In my world I shall pretend they do not exist.

    Bill, I can understand wanting to dive more into meatspace, but keep in touch, ‘k?

    I read “digitigrade” as “digitardigrade” and got excited for computer water bears but then that wasn’t it.

  12. 512
    opposablethumbs

    UK news is talking about massive fires in Colorado and New Mexico. No idea if Bro Og has been/is likely to be whisked away (do people get brought in from across the whole US?), but thinking of him – and his colleagues – in any case.

  13. 513
    Rev. BigDumbChimp

    do people get brought in from across the whole US?

    Yes they often do and they’re in dire need of firefighters from what I understand I’m sure there is a chance.

  14. 514
    ImaginesABeach

    As I understand it, for these very large fires (the Colorado one is approximately 175 square kilometers), the fire crews do come from all over the country.

    Last year, Brother Og was sent across the country for at least one fire that I remember.

  15. 515
    AJ Milne

    I know everybody has their tastes, but life without garlic, rosemary, chili powder, thyme, basil, dill, oregano, cayenne pepper, lemon juice, salt, pepper, red pepper flakes, ginger, cinnamon and…

    (Passes out.)

    Srsly: this diagnosis re fat being the only flavouring: probably on.

    I had grandparents used to cook like that. Sausages at their place were these terrifying lumps of mystery meat swimming in their own grease. And even black pepper was added to the dishes one grain at a time, very cautiously, with tongs, in a fume hood, whilst wearing a hazmat suit…

    My parents, to their credit, seemed to expand their minds reasonably quickly beyond this, as soon as you actually could get spices other than pepper and chili powder in the not-very-urban places they tended to live. And my spice ‘rack’ is currently most of two shelves, now very full, and very confused…

    As to prescription, I’m trying to decide whether you want to ease the patient here into the myriad of flavourings that lie beyond grease gently, with kindly subtle Thai-type dishes involving coconut milk and very small dabs of fish sauce and very gentle levels of cayenne and so on (I haz recipes, which come out best in the slow cooker, but really, there’s like a million of those on the net, and that’s where I got mine, anyway)…

    … or shock him violently and memorably into this startling new world with something like blackened chicken*. Which I also do now and then, and which, yes, you probably want to cook outside as burning cayenne does kinda have the same effect as tear gas, but which is freakin’ awesome.

    (*/Possibly garnished with pickled jalapenos. Or mebbe a salsa you could also use to etch bathroom tiles.)

  16. 516
    Giliell, professional cynic -Ilk-

    Talking about seasoning, I got my hands on some chilis, ginger and lime and just made curry “paste”.
    No seasoning is bad, especially when talking about vegetables. It was something I noticed in Ireland a lot. I would have excused my housemates on account of being students, but if you went to a restaurant they would serve them the exact same way: boiled.
    So my housemates would faithfully boil their swedes, carrots, *whisper* peas and stuff and then eat them without any joy.
    But on the other hand, my MIL can cook pretty well and the scenario is pretty much the same: FIL, triple bypass, way over 100 kg and really doesn’t want to eat lettuce until it’s been turned into pork. Fish is eaten as fish-fingers and aspargus is only ok when drowned in Hollandaise (nothing against Hollandaise).
    MIL is despairing because even a basically healthy meal of chicken breast, veggies and popatoes will be consumed as large amounts of meat and potatoes drowned in ketchup or gravy with some decorating elements of veggies.

    As for potatoe-salad, maybe they’d enjoy the classical recipe from around here. Not “low fat” but better than mayonaise:
    Cut a rasher of bacon into very very small cuebes and fry in a bit of oil. Add about a tbsp of flour, pour in a mixture of vinegar and water (take care not to inhale), season with salt and pepper. If you’re courageous add parsley and pour over cooked, peeled and sliced potatoes.

  17. 517
    Sili

    IMO, the best Miss Marple adaptations were the 1960s film versions with Margaret Rutherford. She was awesome.

    Fuck you, you philistine.

    There is only no Marple but Joan Hickson, and Suchet is her prophet.

  18. 518
    Sili

    I thought it was “what use do *cats* have for humans?”

    Can openers.

  19. 519
    SQB

    There is only no Marple but Joan Hickson, and Suchet is her prophet.

    Hear, hear!

  20. 520
    myeck waters

    RE: spices

    The joke in our house when I was a kid was that my mom knew three spices: salt, pepper and Campbell’s cream of mushroom soup.
    I had grown up and moved out before someone convinced her that you could pour the grease off cooked ground beef before adding the rest of the ingredients.

  21. 521
    Giliell, professional cynic -Ilk-

    re: Emma
    I actually like Jane Austen’s books. I only wished that they wouldn’t be romanticised and “pinkified” in a metaphorical sense, but read and criticized in context.
    Emma as a character grows a lot during the book, she learns to understand that her world isn’t the wonderful place she thought it to be, she learns to show compassion and to regard people for the sake of themselves rather than as “characters” in her games.

  22. 522
    Sili

    Fuckit. I forgot to delete that “only” in there.

  23. 523
    Alexandra (née Audley)

    Tony:

    my boyfriend ended the little driving session. He had the strangest look on his eyes.

    That’s better than shouting “my car! What are you doing to my beautiful baby?”, I guess. :D

    ImaginesABeach:

    Any of you mosquito-attractors want to come to Day Camp and follow me around today?

    Sorry, doesn’t quite work like that. While I’m getting chewed on, everyone around me becomes collateral damage.

    I’ll increase the amount of bites you get.

    In other news: going to the doc later to find out if DarkFetus is girl- or boy-type! Woo hoo!

    (Someone is parked in my lot listening to Mindless Self Indulgence very loudly.)

  24. 524
    Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought

    Does anyone here have experience buying train tickets for Italy online?

    I think the TrenItalia page might be an elaborate joke. The prices change once you refresh! And it won’t let me pay. My money isn’t good enough for them.

  25. 525
    Alexandra (née Audley)

    Beatrice:

    And it won’t let me pay. My money isn’t good enough for them.

    Shut up and take my money!

    (I think I’m in a little bit of a silly mood today!)

  26. 526
    Beatrice, an amateur cynic looking for a happy thought

    Shut up and take my money!

    I’m half a breakdown from shouting that at the screen.

  27. 527
    Pteryxx

    Re spices: similar. I ranted before about my fundie upbringing considering spices evil, but the upshot was veggies boiled to oblivion with only salt, butter, and yes Campbell’s cream of mushroom soup for seasonings. That resulted in *oversalting* everything to make it marginally palatable. (Canned soup is crammed with salt. I cut it out entirely.) The folks are amazed at the simple cheap food I make for myself, such as cabbage or brussels sprouts. No, I’m not an incredible cook and I’m not using any tricks – just a little salt, a little pepper, and I only cooked the damn things for five or ten minutes.

  28. 528
    Giliell, professional cynic -Ilk-

    No, I’m not an incredible cook and I’m not using any tricks – just a little salt, a little pepper, and I only cooked the damn things for five or ten minutes.

    Butter!
    Don’t forget butter!
    And garlic!

  29. 529
    carlie

    And garlic!

    Oh yeah. I was in my mid-30s before I discovered that greens other than lettuce and spinach could be really good if cooked down with garlic.

    (and maybe a little Parmesan and cherry pepper)

  30. 530
    Pteryxx

    Heh, mostly I use olive oil because it works better for stir-frying than butter (and it travels better, keeps well without refrigeration, and I could only afford one or the other). I use minced garlic when I remember to do so, but for a while oil/salt/pepper were all I owned. (Oil, salt, pepper, cabbage, onion, carrot, instant oatmeal, raisins, and water.)

    Oh, and hot cock sauce (sriracha). Goes with everything.

  31. 531
  32. 532
    Giliell, professional cynic -Ilk-

    Pteryxx
    My privilege is showing, isn’t it?
    I’m lucky enough that I never had to worry about being able to afford oil or butter.
    With regards to cooking I was lucky that my parents already did a lot of “discovering” before I was born, but even my grandparents always had a herbs garden at least.
    So i grew up with a grandma for the traditional dishes and a mum for the bit exotic stuff (like spaghetti bolognese, you know) and an attitude that new things are worth trying. When my grandparents were still able to go to town alone they would often have lunch at the Chinese restaurant, something practically unheard of in other people their age.

  33. 533
    Mattir, Another One With Boltcutters

    Damn recipe swappers…

    (sorry, couldn’t resist)

    I spent yesterday evening at mandatory training for summer camp staff at the parks system where I work. Learned that posting anything derogatory about religion (or race or sex or …) online was grounds for termination. Here goes: I think religious belief is delusional and destructive of human dignity and well-being. I think religious leaders are parasites. I think religion is used as a tool of social control and preys upon the most vulnerable members of our communities. I think my county would be far better off without either the plague of storefront churches or the gaudy mega churches that grow from the most successful of the storefronts. I think Mohammed was a child molester and the Pope is a child rape enabler.

    How was that? Do I get out of the next several weeks of really demanding summer camp schedule?

  34. 534
    Tony! The Queer Shoop

    Apologies if someone has already linked, but I just came across this and I’m utterly disgusted (warning, this is very fucked up and involves a child; serious trigger warning):
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .

    http://www.loop21.com/life/man-guilty-killed-boy-thought-was-gay
    A man who calls himself the leader of the Black Hebrews has pleaded guilty to murdering a 28-year-old woman and a 4-year-old boy he thought was gay, according to WRAL.

    He allegedly murdered Jadon because he saw the kid slap another boy on the backside. He immediately considered that to be a sign the child was gay, took the child into the garage and shot him in the head.

    …I’m speechless.
    I’m stuck somewhere between shock, horror, revulsion, and unbridled anger.
    What.
    The.
    Fuck?
    ‘Black Hebrews’, here’s a Fuck You the size of Texas.
    We have so-called ‘holy men’ committing child abuse.
    We have so-called ‘holy men’ raping children.
    Now we have a so-called ‘holy man’, Peter Lucas Moses, killing a four year old because he thought he was gay??!!

    Yet WE are considered immoral and decadent without faith?
    I think I’m seeing multiple shades of red right now.

  35. 535
    thunk: turmite city

    Ibyea: “Motley Queer Groupie” (as in Hekuni Cat’s nym)

    Cooking:

    I tend to have the same problem… whether it is just conscious fear or olfactory balking– I HATE (almost) anything with more than one flavor. That tends to severely limit my food options, and makes fat and salt my primary seasonings.

    Damn. I wish I could stop that.

  36. 536
    thunk: turmite city

    Mattir:

    oo

    OO

    YOU MONSTER!

  37. 537
    Pteryxx

    Giliell: I don’t mind, it’s just interesting to me that I’m picking up cooking knowledge from running away when other folks came by that same knowledge as part of family tradition. I take notes from here too when y’all discuss dishes I think I can make. Like, greens with garlic… never thought to try that. My go-to is turnip greens; a dollar’s worth gets a week’s supply and they stay green and whole for many weeks if you pick out the bad leaves beforehand. Next time I’ll make some with that garlic I keep forgetting I have now.

  38. 538
    thunk: turmite city

    And of course, goddam religion gives rise to empowered dolts who’ll try to stop everything they find objectionable, with no regard for the law or basic human decency.

  39. 539
    Tony! The Queer Shoop

    Pteryxx:

    I ranted before about my fundie upbringing considering spices evil,

    Any idea where your rant was? I’d be curious to read it. How can people take this crap seriously?
    Can’t eat this food.
    Can’t wear these clothes.
    Can’t dance.
    Can’t sing.
    Can’t wear provocative clothing.
    Can’t go to the movies.
    Can’t have a car.
    and on and on.
    I’ve never heard about spices=evil, but that’s no more ridiculous than being unable to dance.

    Ing:
    I hope you’ve been holding it together after losing your dog. I had a situation not too different from yours in 2010, so I feel your pain. I was very happy that a friend called the appropriate people to pick up Max, because I was too distraught to accomplish much.

  40. 540
    Pteryxx

    oh, but thank you anyway, Giliell. (I keep forgetting to say thank you.)

  41. 541
    Pteryxx

    *blush* Sure Tony, it was part of a longer conversation here:

    http://freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula/2012/02/26/knitting-souls-with-an-approved-wanton-sounds-like-fun-to-me/comment-page-1/#comment-275706

    But masturbation’s EVIL and UNNATURAL* and has to be fenced about with guilt and hatred and ignorance so the world doesn’t come to an end prematurely, or something like that.

    I still can’t wrap my head around these people believing something pleasurable, natural, and harmless is so awful; but then my fundie birth sect never could explain to me why spices were evil. As in, stuff you add to food so it tastes good. If garlic and herbs were so frickin’ evil then why did god put them on the world? Why does nature have nuts and berries growing wild all over it? Sheesh!

    *Never mind that nature’s all about the gay sex and masturbation: see Evolution’s Rainbow, etc.

  42. 542
    Tony! The Queer Shoop

    Pteryxx:
    re: food
    If you like lemons or limes, the juice and the peel can impart great flavor to food. And I believe they’re relatively budget friendly items.
    (seriously though, ‘hot cock sauce’? There’s an image in my head right now that’s rather odd)

  43. 543
    dianne

    I know this has come up before about spices, but still can’t fathom it. Why should spices be evil? Is it simply that enjoyment of life is bad? Or did some priest some time have a bad experience with a jalapeno and generalize that experience to spices are bad, no one should eat them?

  44. 544
    opposablethumbs

    OMG I love steamed broccoli, al dente, with garlic butter!!!!!! Moar! moar! om nom nom miam!!11!!

  45. 545
    opposablethumbs

    Pteryxx, my privilege is showing too. I hadn’t seen that.

  46. 546
    Tony! The Queer Shoop

    This is just wrong:

    http://www.loop21.com/florida-man-raping-girlfriends-pitbull-arrested
    There were even pictures on Antunes’ cell phone that revealed “several images of bestiality,” police said.

    After getting a tip that he possessed child pornography, Clearwater police began investigating Antunes. He admitted watching child porn.

  47. 547
    Pteryxx

    Tony: there’s a reason it’s called Hot Cock Sauce. *nodnod*

    http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/images/20110203-135211-homemade-sriracha.jpg

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sriracha_sauce_(Huy_Fong_Foods)

    Giliell, I just realized re this:

    MIL is despairing because even a basically healthy meal of chicken breast, veggies and popatoes will be consumed as large amounts of meat and potatoes drowned in ketchup or gravy with some decorating elements of veggies.

    Folks often don’t like unfamiliar foods because of the *texture*. Most processed, fatty stuff like burgers and fish fingers is much softer and easier to chew than veggies. Maybe drowning food in sauce is a way to make it softer, rather than tastier per se?

    Then it might help to use texture tricks (not that I know many…) such as shredding veggies into coleslaw with vinegar, or puree-ing potatoes or cauliflower? Maybe make gravy from broth instead of cream or whatever objectionable stuff is in gravy (heck I don’t know what’s in gravy!)

    (I’m lucky that I didn’t have to overcome that to switch to cheap lightly-cooked veggies; I *like* tough crunchy food that puts up a fight and isn’t pre-lubricated.)

  48. 548
    vernonbalbert

    On Facebook a godly relative posted some information about a study on children raised by homosexuals which basically said that these children have more trouble than children who are not. I decided to do some research, namely look at the actual paper rather than believe the journalism that was quoted on his page. This is the paper referenced:

    http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0049089X12000580

    I’m no professional scientist and I don’t do a good job reading scientific papers and I don’t even know if this is the entire paper or if the entire paper is behind a paywall. Could somebody more knowledgeable and experienced in this area tell me what, exactly, is being said here, and in language that a non-sociologist can understand?

  49. 549
    dianne

    Re Emma: Emma is not one of my favorite Jane Austen novels. I remember being offended by the classism more than anything else. The main character finds this insecure young woman of uncertain ancestry (she’s described as “the natural daughter of someone or the other”) and spends most of the novel talking about how she must be of “good” ancestry and trying to fix her up with a number of assholes of “good” ancestry. At the end, she finds that she’s actually the child of a wealthy businessman of no special aristocratic background. She drops her like a hot potato. As it happens, this is all to the good for the young woman, whose life is kind of being screwed up by Emma’s “help”, but the logic annoyed me.

    Also Emma ends up marrying a man twice her age who is explicitly stated to have known her since infancy and appears to have taken something of a paternal role with her. SQUICK!

  50. 550
    SQB

    Somewhat appropriate.

  51. 551
    Rey Fox

    I’ll start taking religion seriously as a force for good in the world once they start going after the money changers rather than the homosexuals.

  52. 552
    Alexandra (née Audley)

    Pteryxx:

    (heck I don’t know what’s in gravy!)

    Meat drippings (read: fat), dairy, cornstarch, spices, etc.

    I’ve never heard “spices are evil” until you brought it up, P, but I can tell you that even having a much more liberal view of food doesn’t mean that someone is going to be a good cook. For instance, my mom is 1) scared of using spices (she never learned how) and 2) cooks the daylights out of everything ‘cos OMG FOOD BORNE ILLNESS! I grew up with a lot of bland foods.

  53. 553
    SQB

    Also, Tony, it’s of course none of my business, but since you conveyed that you’re not in the brightest of moods, it may be a good idea to look at sites with less depressing content than the one you posted those two links to. Take care.

  54. 554
    Rey Fox

    Reminds me of The Door Into Summer, which, I was assured by many, was one of Heinlein’s best. I read it back in college and was too damn squicked by the relationship between the protagonist and the 12-year-old girl. I checked Wiki to see if I was remembering correctly, and found this quote from John W. Campbell: “Bob can write a better story, with one hand tied behind him, than most people in the field can do with both hands. But Jesus, I wish that son of a gun would take that other hand out of his pocket.”

  55. 555
    Tony! The Queer Shoop

    opposablethumbs:
    Have you heard of compound butter?
    Love it.
    Especially rosemary or garlic compound butter. Better yet, Rosemary/Garlic compound butter. Served over oven roasted asparagus (grilled asparagus works as well) or broccoli. I think Israeli couscous would be perfect under the veggie; as the compound butter melts, it soaks into the couscous and imparts flavor.
    __
    For those that like vodka:

    http://www.threeolives.com/flavor/loopy

    Believe me, the stuff tastes and smells like Fruit Loops. A bit on the sweet side, but look at its inspiration.

  56. 556
    keenacat

    Hooray, food disucussion!

    Re spices: I grew up in a household that perused quite a lot of spices. I have certain preferences, however, because I am partial about not keeping spices for overly long, as they lose a lot of flavor. If I keep too big of a variety, I can’t get through all of it in time.
    Something I always have on hand besides salt and pepper (corns in mill) is thyme. I buy it dried in bulk at the farmers market and also use it for tea (makes a good tea for bronchial affection during colds), and my balcony has a shrub of fresh one, too (which I freeze for winter along with rosemary).
    I also have a good curry mix around, I usually get big and affordable bags at the local market. Besides actual curries I use it for snacks (crunchy baked chickpeas, people!!).
    Cumin is a surprisingly versatile spice, it works with meat stuff, veggie dips and breads.
    Chilli flakes and hot (occassionally smoked) paprika provide heat.
    I bake quite a lot, so I also keep caraway seeds (a classic in german bread) and for stews and soups I have some bay leaves.

    I also use a lot of onions, which I buy frozen and pre-chopped, because I’m lazy. I will, however, need the occassional fresh one for salads and a heap of shallots. I love shallots. Garlic is best kept as a bulb in a dark, dry place (I keep it with the onions in a clay pot) or pre-roasted and frozen.

    Roasted garlic is the bomb. Cut top of bulb so cloves are exposed, add a splash of olive oil, wrap in aluminium foil, bake for ~45° at 200°C until creamy and golden, sqeeze out of the papery surroundings (the cloves will be mushy). Use instantly (for example as a garlic butter or in hummus) or freeze in small portions to plop into everything that needs a little awesome.
    Garlic flakes are of the devil!!

  57. 557
    Goodbye Enemy Janine

    Tony, I love vodka lemonade. But why the fuck would I want to take shots of something that tastes like a child’s breakfast cereal. I will stick with Tito’s for my shot.

    And, no, I will not touch vodka that tastes like cotton candy or any of that other bullshit.

  58. 558
    Predator Handshake

    Re “the spice is evil”, perhaps it might in some way trace back to asceticism?

    I myself am a bad cook. I have some very “bachelor” tendencies in the kitchen; I moved into a new apartment almost three months ago and still haven’t even used the salt yet. One of my running jokes/fantasies with friends is for Gordon Ramsay to have a competition show geared specifically toward weirdo single people, where they have to come up with something to eat given certain ingredients. Sort of like a Chopped but with complete amateurs. In my mind I would be on this show, of course, and picture myself saying something like “Yes, Chef, I’ve made you a nice Ramen soup with these vegetables I found and also I stirred an egg into it while it was cooking.” He would take a bite, it would cut to commercial, and after the break it would show him telling me “the Ramen was cooked perfectly.” Then he’s so impressed with my awful cooking that we go drink beers together.

  59. 559
    keenacat

    Tony,

    Also, Tony, it’s of course none of my business, but since you conveyed that you’re not in the brightest of moods, it may be a good idea to look at sites with less depressing content than the one you posted those two links to. Take care.

    Seconded.

    Also,

    Have you heard of compound butter?
    Love it.
    Especially rosemary or garlic compound butter.

    Try the roasted garlic butter. I swear it will make you sing chorals to FSM.

  60. 560
    Alexandra (née Audley)

    Tony:

    Believe me, the stuff tastes and smells like Fruit Loops. A bit on the sweet side, but look at its inspiration.

    God, I hate Fruit Loops. Glazed donuts on the other hand…

  61. 561
    dianne

    @48: A couple of initial thoughts on the paper you cited: First, the source: The author, Marks, is specifically a researcher of religion and has published several papers of dubious quality which conclude that religion makes a number of things better. Second, he relies heavily on a single paper to make his point. A paper which contradicts essentially all the remaining literature. (And is published in a dubious journal.) Finally, his biggest complaint seems to be that outcomes were compared to straight single parents, rather than couples. That’s fine if the gay or lesbian parents in question are in an ongoing relationship, but most studies look at single parents as well as couples. So married straight couples aren’t a good comparison group for most of these studies.

    That’s on a quick read through while jet lagged. There’s probably more wrong there.

  62. 562
    Goodbye Enemy Janine

    Glazed donuts on the other hand…

    What the fuck is this movement to make vodka taste like sweets?

  63. 563
    vernonbalbert

    Thanks, Dianne, that’s the kind of stuff I was wondering about. It seemed to contradict everything I had read on the subject (admittedly limited to what I’ve read in blogs and the like) so alarm bells went off. I would truly appreciate any other insights you can give when you’ve been able to recharge.

  64. 564
    YOB - Ye Olde Blacksmith

    Brown gravy (aka Burnt Flour Gravy)
    ————————————————–
    Toast flour in a pan on medium-high heat
    Just as it starts to burn, begin adding water and stirring
    Cook for several minutes adding water as needed to maintain consistency
    Add salt and pepper to taste when done

    My Dad loves this gravy. His saliva glands were devastated years ago by radiation treatments so needs to “lube” his food. He usually adds tons of butter or mayonnaise to everything. My mom came up with this to try to cut some of the fat out of his already horrific diet.

  65. 565
    Predator Handshake

    I’m glad we’re talking about vodka, because my boss’ wife gave me a full bottle of it a couple of weeks ago and I have no idea what to do with it. Any suggestions for easy-to-make cocktails?

  66. 566
    Alexandra (née Audley)

    Janine,
    Vodka is so versatile, though!

    Why not make it taste like sweets?

  67. 567
    Alexandra (née Audley)

    PH:
    There’s always my great grandmama’s favorite cocktail*:
    Piledriver:
    1.5 oz vodka
    3 oz OJ
    3 oz prune juice

    It’ll keep you regular!

    *Technically a “pick me up” (hangover cure).

  68. 568
    chigau (違う)

    I hate sweet booze.

  69. 569
    Rev. BigDumbChimp

    What the fuck is this movement to make vodka taste like sweets?

    because it doesn’t taste like anything else.

    Vodka is defined as neutral spirits so distilled, or so treated after distillation with charcoal or other materials, as to be without distinctive character, aroma, taste, or color. Neutral spirits are distilled spirits produced from any material at or above 190o proof. In the United States, neutral spirits are generally distilled from a mash of grain and are termed neutral grain spirits. Vodka is not aged, and is bottled at proofs ranging from 80 to 100o.
    The objective with vodka processing is to remove as many of the congeners as possible so as to render the finished product free from any taste, aroma, and flavor. Neutral spirits, by definition, have little character since they are distilled at very high proofs, and contain only minute traces of fusel oils, aldehydes, esters, acids, and solids. Vodka processing is intended to remove these remaining compounds.

  70. 570
    keenacat

    Predator Handshake,
    I keep vanilla beans (split in half) submerged in vodka. Makes nice cocktails and substitutes nicely for vanilla extracts in bakery.
    How many vanilla beans you should use depends on the beans (thick or thin) and on what you want to use it for. Fewer will do better in cocktails, a lot do better as a substitute for vanilla extract. I have medium strenght, that’s more versatile. Keep in a dark place and shake daily for a week. Is usable after two weeks.

  71. 571
    Pteryxx

    Predator Handshake: ramen’s actually not that bad if you don’t use the salt-and-MSG-laden flavoring packets. Ramen + veggies + egg + Mrs Dash and hot cock sauce (see above) started my cooking self-education. Eventually, you can just wean the ramen out and keep cooking the other stuff. Also huge ramen recipe bases exist:

    http://www.onlinecolleges.net/2009/12/01/100-awesome-ramen-recipes-for-starving-college-students/

    http://www.seriouseats.com/2011/03/ramen-hacks-30-easy-ways-to-upgrade-your-instant-noodles-japanese-what-to-do-with-ramen.html

  72. 572
    Alexandra (née Audley)

    Really, vodka can be mixed with any juice. You can also make martinis with it, bloody marys, etc. Because it’s flavorless, it can be used in just about anything.

  73. 573
    dianne

    So, Audley, about that darkfetus. Was the gender*

    a female
    b male
    c ambiguous
    d “nah, nah, I’m crossing my legs, you’ll just have to wait”
    e. none of your fucking business, stop asking personal questions?

    *Apparent gender anyway. You won’t know for sure until at least adolescence.

  74. 574
    carlie

    Any suggestions for easy-to-make cocktails?

    Put a bunch of cherries (pitted) in a jar. (use a jar of maraschino cherries if you want.) Cover with vodka. Leave for a few weeks. Enjoy eating the cherries.

  75. 575
    carlie

    because it doesn’t taste like anything else.

    I went into a little rant at the liquor store with a friend the other day because of a pre-mixed vodka lemonade bottle. The description on the bottle started off with something like “We begin with the refreshing taste of our premium vodka”, and I was all “No refreshing, it’s supposed to taste like nothing!”

  76. 576
    Alexandra (née Audley)

    dianne:

    So, Audley, about that darkfetus. Was the gender*

    a female
    b male
    c ambiguous
    d “nah, nah, I’m crossing my legs, you’ll just have to wait”
    e. none of your fucking business, stop asking personal questions?

    :D

    Actually, I was just about to post– my appointment is in an hour and I’m so excited (and full of water) that I could BURST! (Seriously, I had trouble sleeping last night ‘cos I feel like it’s Xmas Eve.) So, I’ll let you all know later this afternoon.

    Just as a side note: I had always thought that “sex” was physical and “gender” was identity. So, would it be correct to say DarkFetus’ sex is m/f/don’t know as oppose to using gender?

    Or am I totally mistaken?

  77. 577
    Matt Penfold

    A simple vodka cocktail:

    1. Squeeze the juice of half a lime into a glass.
    2. Add about 1/4 tsp of sugar (you can adjust to taste when you get to know what you like) and stir well. Throw in some ice
    3. Add a generous shot of vodka.
    4. Top up with tonic, soda water or lemonade depending what you like. Stir.
    5. Drink.
    6. Make more.

  78. 578
    Lynna, OM

    About a week ago I posted a copy of an email sent to MormonVoices “volunteers,” instructing them to post lots of positive comments below articles in the Washington Post that discussed mormonism.

    Well, here’s another email, with similar instructions, but different target publications:

    Dear MormonVoices volunteer,

    Two recently published articles definitely need comments from faithful church members to set the record straight!

    First, the Daily Mail in Britain published an account of an LDS couple who left the church. The article includes a photo of temple garments, and the comments are very mocking and uncomplimentary toward garments and LDS beliefs in general. The article is here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2158283/From-sacred-underwear-Victorias-Secret-The-devout-Mormon-woman-chose-love-faith-husband-atheist.html

    Second, an American political blog is touting a website that purports to sell temple garments as a means of mocking LDS beliefs. The blog contains no sensitivity toward our actual beliefs, and some well-informed, polite comments could make a big difference to some readers. The article is here: http://lafiga.firedoglake.com/2012/06/12/mormons-secret/

    Please leave a comment on each article, and as always, be kind and Christlike in your tone and topic. Avoid debates and political stances. If you need any additional information or perspective on the issues raised in the articles, please email us at [email protected], or visit http://en.fairmormon.org/Main_Page.

    I highly recommend the lafiga.firedoglake article. It is illustrated with photos of a guy so good looking that he even makes mormon underwear look good.

  79. 579
    opposablethumbs

    Hey Tony. Compound butter? Hadn’t heard the actual name, but looks like we’re talking flavoury buttery goodness of many varieties … ooh, with roasted garlic, sounds like flavour heaven. I have a problem with … moderation, sometimes, though. How to stop roasting the garlic before it carbonises …

    Warning TMI: once had dinner with a friend who made the most delicious garlic chicken. There must have been over 20 cloves stuffed into the flesh here and there – it was fantastic. But oh, if only we could have spent the next 24h or so in isolation, in separate wind tunnels (or equipped with breathing apparatus) … the, ahem, effects were devastating.

  80. 580
    Rev. BigDumbChimp

    Compound butter?

    aka maitre d’Hotel butter

    Quick recipe for a version lime cilantroc chile buried in here…

    recipe swapper

  81. 581
    Rev. BigDumbChimp

    cilantro that is

  82. 582
    opposablethumbs

    Oh, and vodka? Yes to freshly squeezed lime (squished and crunched up with the (washed) peel on, even, then leave the chunks behind when you pour), with sugar, over crushed ice … ooooh, caipiroska! (when you can’t get cachaça). Haven’t tasted that for sooooooo long, damnit!

  83. 583
    flamethorn

    Er, hello, mostly a lurker here, I think I’ve dropped a few comments here and there though.

    Just as a side note: I had always thought that “sex” was physical and “gender” was identity. So, would it be correct to say DarkFetus’ sex is m/f/don’t know as oppose to using gender? Or am I totally mistaken?

    I think you’re right, as far as I can tell because of my learnings.

    Sex is physical/developmental/chromosomal and affects things like how one reproduces (if one chooses to) and what hormones are naturally produced by one’s body and what parts one has, and questions like whether one has to worry about cervical cancer and brittle bones at menopause, or prostate issues and male pattern baldness.

    Gender seems to be defined as how one acts/identifies on the stereotypical masculine/feminine scale (which personally I’d love to see thrown out, but whatever.) As an aspect of individual personality, that’s unlikely to develop for a couple years after birth, I’d think. Depends on how heavy the social conditioning pressure is.

    (Disclaimers and rest of comment omitted in the interests of brevity)

    Anyway, hello thar, I guess I should introduce myself. Only I can’t actually think of anything to say.

    Is there a word for “pagan who’s an ally of atheists”? Because that’s pretty much where I stand; I am a fan of certain varieties of mysticism because they’re fun (and also because reasons) but I don’t think any supernatural beliefs should affect science education, laws, or social policies.

  84. 584
    chigau (違う)

    I hate cilantro.

  85. 585
    Alexandra (née Audley)

    I hate cilantro.

    You would.

  86. 586
    Rev. BigDumbChimp

    cilantro hates you

  87. 587
    carlie

    In my mind I would be on this show, of course, and picture myself saying something like “Yes, Chef, I’ve made you a nice Ramen soup with these vegetables I found and also I stirred an egg into it while it was cooking.” He would take a bite, it would cut to commercial, and after the break it would show him telling me “the Ramen was cooked perfectly.”

    I (heart) you so much for that mental picture. :)

    Here’s a foodie way to use ramen.

    once had dinner with a friend who made the most delicious garlic chicken. There must have been over 20 cloves stuffed into the flesh here and there – it was fantastic.

    We do a 40 cloves and a chicken recipe occasionally… very occasionally.

  88. 588
    Rev. BigDumbChimp

    Here you go Chigau

  89. 589
    Lynna, OM

    This request from a journalist was posted on an ex-mormon forum, but I thought it should be posted here as well. The more info Reuters gets on the LDS Church’s finances, the better.

    Hi folks. My name’s Peter Henderson and I’m a reporter for Reuters News. I’ve been doing some stories about the LDS church — here’s one about the church dealing with people falling away from the faith: http://reut.rs/xCcGs9. Now I’m curious about church finances — how much money the church has, gets, and spends. I’m looking for everything from lists of assets (I’ve seen some on this site) to anecdotes. I welcome any help, from tips which I’d follow up to links/documents, which I could use after verifying. My email is [email protected] and my phone is 415 677 2541, if you prefer to communicate privately.

  90. 590
    carlie

    I would be happy to take all of the cilantro.

  91. 591
    thunk: turmite city

    Ah… DAMN YOU, FOOD!

    My main problem is that I don’t like the texture of anything :/.

    Or many spices, they’re just too strong, harsh, and overpowering.

    I hate you all.

    Audley: Well, I can’t wait either…

  92. 592
    Rev. BigDumbChimp

    I would be happy to take all of the cilantro.

    Not if I have anything to say about it you won’t

    *sideeye glance

  93. 593
    Alexandra (née Audley)

    Thanks for clearing that up, flamethorn!

  94. 594
    Alexandra (née Audley)

    Okay everyone, I’ll check back in after a few hours. Here’s hoping that DarkFetus is in a mood to show off its junk!

  95. 595
    chigau (違う)

    I like coriander.
    (cilantro = leaves; coriander = seeds)

  96. 596
    FossilFishy (NOBODY, and proud of it!)

    Humph. I come here to get the antigodless taste out of my mouth and what do I find? Cilantro. Well, I guess the taste of soap is better than the taste of hypocrite. :)

  97. 597
    FossilFishy (NOBODY, and proud of it!)

    Good luck Audley! Seeing my daughter on the ultrasound that first time was an extraordinary experience. I hope yours is as good.

  98. 598
    Rev. BigDumbChimp

    chigau are you one of the soap tasters?

  99. 599
    Josh, Official SpokesGay

    On healthier burgers, etc.:

    1. Red meat is not inherently unhealthy. It’s the saturated fat content of the cut. Example: replacing a very lean steak with a fatty ground turkey burger is going in the wrong direction.

    93 percent lean hamburger is a good choice and has a nutrition profile similar to lean poultry. Spice it up and grill it over charcoal (no, gas grills don’t add any flavor, don’t bother) with some wood chips thrown in for smoke.

    2. White pasta is no better than potatoes, nutritionally. Simple carbs are simple carbs. I love them, but if you’re trying to limit them, think of other salad possibilities. Tabouleh with cracked wheat is delicious and all whole grain. Cut down on the proportion of pasta and mix it up with more veggies. A favorite is pasta salad with blanched slices of broccoli, zuchini, carrot, onion, etc. dressed with a vinaigrette and a shit ton of Salad Supreme veggie seasoning. Finish with parmesan.

    3. Whole grain breads/buns that are also *multi* grain are much tastier than plain whole wheat. A 7 or 12-grain bread (being sure it’s whole or mostly whole-grain; not all multi-grain is) can be delicious whereas whole wheat alone tastes leaden and yucky (to me, anyway).

  100. 600
    opposablethumbs

    We do a 40 cloves and a chicken recipe occasionally… very occasionally.

    Well it was a very small chicken :)

    Cilantro? Um, not so much. Don’t mind a hint of it, but …. nah, you can have my share too. Coriander seed, otoh, definitely has its uses.

  101. 601
    niftyatheist, perpetually threadrupt

    Audley — can’t wait for your update! :D

    cilantro – I crave it, sometimes. I think it may be the thing that makes me love Indian and Mexican foods (and I am always thinking…MOAR cilantro!)

    Loved the ramen noodle top chef fantasy! (can’t remember who posted it, I’m sorry, but it made me laugh!)

  102. 602
    keenacat

    I have a problem with … moderation, sometimes, though. How to stop roasting the garlic before it carbonises …

    The “wrap-in-foil-and-bake”-method works like a charm for me.

  103. 603
    keenacat

    Whole grain breads/buns that are also *multi* grain are much tastier than plain whole wheat.

    Seconded.
    Oh, spelt whole grain, how I love thee.
    Caveat: Rye whole grain needs a good, long fermentation with sour dough to be bake-able. Apparently rye contains enzymes that break down starch. So a lot of “rye whole wheat”-breads contain a significant amount of wheat flour and colourants and not actually a lot of rye, since sour dough baking takes a long time.

  104. 604
    Ms. Daisy Cutter, General Manager for the Cleveland Steamers

    Bill, I hope you do decide to come back. In the meantime, take care of yourself.

    Hello, Flamethorn! I believe Part Time Insomniac is also a pagan, and she is a longtime regular here.

    Tony:

    I’ve encountered more than few people who treat Wikipedia with disdain. Usually they mention that it’s wrong a lot (to which I’ve mentioned that it’s also right a lot), so they dismiss it as useful.
    Does anyone know why?

    It’s useful for facts that are not controversial, let’s put it that way. Anything that is controversial is subject to hardcore editing wars, and many of the participants seem to have all the time in the world to engage in same. Also, yes, anybody can edit WP, without even registering for an account.

    Seasonings: As might be inferred from people’s various anecdotes, there is a critical mass of Amurkins who simply don’t venture beyond salt and ketchup. Most of the flavorings you list are “too foreign” and therefore “un-Amurkin.”

    According to food historian Margaret Visser (whose books are terrific, btw), this attitude originated in northern Europe and Great Britain, where native herbs and spices tend to be mild, and where meat and other foodstuffs were abundant, so there was not the same pressing need to hide the taste of spoiled food that there was in warmer climes, nor the flavors that would disguise them sufficiently. Those flavors became identified with the “uncivilized” folks in southern Europe and beyond. A similar cultural divide sprang up between users of butter and users of olive oil.

    There’s a recording of some guy in, I think, Texas calling up a sausage manufacturer and bawling them out for, I shit you not, putting spices in his sausage, because all he wants is good ol’ Amurkin meat. It wound up on YouTube. I wish I could give you some search terms…. but maybe you should consider yourself lucky that I can’t.

    I am guessing the attitude among some fundies that “spices are evil” is an example of expanding their Calvinist loathing of pleasure to validate their existing cultural prejudices.

    I like cilantro, but some people have a gene that makes it taste like soap.

    Regarding Emma: As I am not one much for reading the classics, I have not read Austen, but I am told that there is a sly, sarcastic subtext to her work that might easily elude modern readers, especially younger ones. The world she lived in was very classist and had few opportunities for women; I don’t see a problem with her having written accurately about it. Sounds like Hollywood is to blame for marketing her books as “romantic comedies” rather than comedies of manners.

    “Black Hebrews” = “Hebrew Israelites.”

    Blacksmith:

    “A movie about leaving religion to follow Jesus”

    Ah, right, the fundie spin about how “religion” is a fallible man-made organization, whereas “Jesus” is Teh Real Thing™.

    Hairhead, don’t you have screens in your windows? Also, sympathy re the scabies. A friend of mine had that about a decade ago.

    Also, I should clarify my earlier remark about “job experts.” I didn’t mean people who worked with “at-risk populations.” I’m talking about the motivational types for office workers, managers, and the like. None of them agree on anything, but all of them are emphatic that if you do what they tell you to do, you’ll get a job, and if you’re not employed yet you must be doing something wrong.

    FossilFishy:

    The piezoelectric arc in the device is very, very hot and very, very brief so it doesn’t burn the skin. It can feel a little funny, either pinching or causing slight nerve tingles and the like.

    What if you have a mosquito bite on your naughty bits? Would it hurt? Would it feel gooooood? Could this be a new BDSM market?

    To add Josh’s recommendations: Brown rice, cooked in vegetable, chicken, or fish stock. I make my own stock when I can, and therefore I can control the amount of salt and fat in it, but there are low-fat, low-salt stocks at the supermarket, too. Or you can cook the rice with water in which some kind of sauce has been diluted. Add lots of veggies and herbs, plus lean meat if you like.

  105. 605
    Predator Handshake

    Big ups to everyone for giving me plenty of ideas for vodka and ramen! I can’t say I’m definitely going to use all of them, but I certainly have enough of the stuff to do a wide range of tests. I may give some of them a go tonight, depending on if I remember to get stuff at the store.

  106. 606
    Illuminata, Genie in the Beer Bottle

    Well, that’s it. We’re all going to die

  107. 607
    YOB - Ye Olde Blacksmith

    …but some people have a gene that makes it taste like soap.

    I have that. Even the tiniest piece of cilantro will make the food taste like you cooked with ivory soap. My wife absolutely LOVES the stuff. Whenever we make Mexican food at home we have “The Cilantro Wars”. We have worked out various compromises since I LOVE mushrooms and she thinks they are horrible. (I even have to use a separate cutting board to prep them.)

  108. 608
    Illuminata, Genie in the Beer Bottle

    borked link.

    But, seriously, we are all going to die

  109. 609
    Goodbye Enemy Janine

    Illuminata, yes, it is true. There is nothing else out there.

  110. 610
    Goodbye Enemy Janine

    Over heard on a late night train ride.

    One person sings; “867-5309″. Second person joins in. First person asks; “Who sang that?”

    Third person says, “I think it was Rush.”

    I sink even lower into my seat than I already was.

  111. 611
    Rev. BigDumbChimp

    So I booked a flight to fly in and then out of Nashville tomorrow for some work shit I have to do.

    I haven’t flown since last Summer some time and let me tell you something

    The fact they are now charging for aisle and window seats is the biggest fuck you the airlines have done in a long while. Extra baggage charges? Ok whatever. But to have to pay an extra $$$ to be able to chose a seat not fucking crammed in the back between Donna McSnoringstam and Bob Talkytalk is fucking ridiculous.

  112. 612
    skeptifem

    Red meat is not inherently unhealthy. It’s the saturated fat content of the cut. Example: replacing a very lean steak with a fatty ground turkey burger is going in the wrong direction

    cancer.gov says its the temperature that meat is cooked at. hamburgers needing to be cooked all the way through (compared to a steak) makes it seem as though hamburgers would pose an additional risk.

    http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Risk/cooked-meats

    they say beef and chicken seem to produce the most carcinogens of this sort.

  113. 613
    RichardAustin

    There may be hope yet. Check out all the questions and answers; most are encouraging.

  114. 614
    Rev. BigDumbChimp

    cancer.gov says its the temperature that meat is cooked at. hamburgers needing to be cooked all the way through (compared to a steak) makes it seem as though hamburgers would pose an additional risk.

    I think that only applies if you buy pre-ground meat.

  115. 615
    carlie

    Hey Rev, look at that thing over there!
    *runs away with the cilantro*

  116. 616
    RahXephon, Waahmbulance Driver for St. Entitlement's Hospital

    I had a black bean burger (as in made of black beans, not meat with black beans in it, which would be odd, lol) for lunch. It tasted a lot better than most of the other burgers I’ve had in my life.

    So I’ve been eating my vegetarian diet for about a month now and I started exercising every day this week and I’m feeling pretty good! I’m slowly pulling out of my sedentary, depression-soaked funk, I think. Hell, just taking a shower every day and changing clothes is improving my mood.

  117. 617
    Alexandra (née Audley)

    I hate to interrupt the meat/cilanto discussion, but I’ve got exciting DarkFetus news!

    DarkFetus is a girl!

    (I’m crying my eyes out in the waiting room of my doc’s office. Mr Darkheart is grinning like there’s no tomorrow. This is awesome.)

  118. 618
    Rev. BigDumbChimp

    Hell, just taking a shower every day and changing clothes is improving my mood.

    I’m willing to be it is improving the mood of those around you too!

    All joking aside the #1 thing for me that improves my mood, my temper and my stress is exercising every day. It does wonders for me.

    I think Mrs. BDC actually likes me now too.

    i kid.

    sort of

  119. 619
    RichardAustin

    Audley:
    \o/

    Solves the “Mac/Max” problem, anyway :)

  120. 620
    Rev. BigDumbChimp

    DarkFetus is a girl!

    Time to go home and paint the nursery room pink with lots of bunnies and ballerinas…

    /ducks

  121. 621
    Pteryxx

    Rev: And ducks, too!

    Audley, congratz and massive squees!

    RahXephon, congratz. If you shower every day you’re doing better than me, heh. (that was cover for the inspiring part.)

  122. 622
    Nutmeg

    DarkFetus is a girl!

    Eeeee! So exciting!

  123. 623
    keenacat

    Audley,
    awesome.
    *throws confetti*
    *bakes cupcakes*
    *decorates cupcakes in non-gendered colors*
    *searches for feminist and atheist and humanist childrens books*

  124. 624
    Illuminata, Genie in the Beer Bottle

    Illuminata, yes, it is true. There is nothing else out there.</blockquote.

    LOL nononono. I mean, like, SOON.

  125. 625
    Illuminata, Genie in the Beer Bottle

    All joking aside the #1 thing for me that improves my mood, my temper and my stress is exercising every day. It does wonders for me.

    Totally. I’ve noticed that not exercising for a few days creates the same physical and mental mood as caffiene withdrawal. Grouchy, sleepy, fatigued and at the same time, restless.

  126. 626
    Ing

    The belief that spices are bad comes from an old belief that rich food inflams animalistic behavior and causes masturbation. If no one else mentioned it. It was big in the Adventists cult and I think showed up in Kellog’s work

  127. 627
    Illuminata, Genie in the Beer Bottle

    Congrats to you and Mr., Audley!!!! Can I make something for her? Want a stuffed Cthutlu? lol

  128. 628
    Rev. BigDumbChimp

    Hooboy. America Idol person and Country Music star endorses equal marriage rights, fanbase poops their collective pants.

    Wow! God destroyed 2 cities in the Bible because they were full of homosexuality. So, Carrie and her husband supports gay marriages while calling themselves Christian? A church who is gay friendly? Are you serious? Talk about an abomination.

    uh

  129. 629
    carlie

    Congratulations, Audley!!!!!

  130. 630
    Rev. BigDumbChimp

    The belief that spices are bad comes from an old belief that rich food inflams animalistic behavior and causes masturbation.

    wait

    it doesn’t?

    what the fuck am i going to blame it on now?

  131. 631
    opposablethumbs

    Yay Audley!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hooray, conga-dancing rats ululating all over the place, and confetti! More confetti!

    So happy for you and Mr. Darkheart and … Sally Darkheart? The future Ms Darkheart!

  132. 632
    Giliell, professional cynic -Ilk-

    Hmmm, talking ’bout food, I just finished dessert: Homemade strawberry yoghurt ice-cream with fresh strawberries. Bought one of those small ice-cream machines last week
    *yummie*

    Pterryx
    I don’t think my FIL’s problem is “unfamiliar textures or tastes”. I think his problem is toxic masculinity (real men don’t eat salads) combined with post-war childhood memories of scarce food supplies.

    keenacat

    I also use a lot of onions, which I buy frozen and pre-chopped, because I’m lazy.

    Me too, and garlic. Too often I’ve bought some that tasted moldy.

    RahXephon
    I’m glad you’re feeling better. I made burgers with kidney-beans recently. Nomnomnom.

    Something about food discussions I really hate: When people style fruits and veg as something inherently unpleasant you’re supposed to eat because they’re healthy but can never enjoy.
    I especially hate it when people pull that shit with the kids praising them for eating veggies because they’re somehow not supposed to like them. I want to punch them.

  133. 633
    PZ Myers

    But wait…queens have been divorced and even executed for failing to produce a male heir. How can you rejoice at spawning a mere girl?

    (That was sarcasm, by the way. Congratulations — we’ve been happy with both sexes that our reproductive efforts have produced. This was a doctor’s visit that could only have produced good news no matter which way it went, as long as the fetus is looking healthy.)

  134. 634
    Esteleth, [an error occurred while processing this directive]

    *confetti* and *teddy bears* for Audley and the Doubly-X-Chromosomed DarkFetus!

    The second behbeh blankie is coming along nicely. I had to scrap the plans for the blue one (too slippery), so instead I’m working with a red yarn.

    *sneezes*

    Sorry. I’ve been all sniffly lately.

    Horde! I shall be in Bean-town with some friends for the doings of Tourist Shit™ this weekend. Let area Hordelings descend and join the fun!

  135. 635
    YOB - Ye Olde Blacksmith

    Audley: Yay!!!!!!!

  136. 636
    Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls

    *hears noise, looks up, sees darkfetus is a girl. goes back to making baby bust myths set, or is it baby makes grog set?*

  137. 637
    Giliell, professional cynic -Ilk-

    Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy for dark girl fetus!
    Wonderful news, Audley!

  138. 638
    Kevin, Youhao Huo Mao

    Yay, DarkGirl!

  139. 639
    The Laughing Coyote (Canis Sativa)

    I hate to interrupt the meat/cilanto discussion, but I’ve got exciting DarkFetus news!

    DarkFetus is a girl!

    (I’m crying my eyes out in the waiting room of my doc’s office. Mr Darkheart is grinning like there’s no tomorrow. This is awesome.)

    Congratulations!

  140. 640
    myeck waters

    Three cheers for DarkGirlFetus! Hup Hup HUZZAH!

  141. 641
    Alexandra (née Audley)

    Thanks, everyone!

    PZ,
    Everything is normal with DarkFetus (and me, too) and if I tell the honest to goodness truth, I think I’ll have an easier time with a girl infant– I have all sisters and nieces and I don’t think I’ve even held a boy!

  142. 642
    Lynna, OM

    Oh my ailing hope for humankind, a Birther dude named Gary Kreep may well become a judge in California.

    If Kreep is elected, he does not think his position on these issues [Birtherism] will affect his credibility.

    “Representing clients has nothing to do with handing out justice,” he said. “Judges make law every day, and judges need to be open minded.”

    “If I am elected, my role as a judge is to uphold the United States Constitution, then the California Constitution, then the laws of the state,” he said. “My personal views really have nothing to do with how I rule on cases, I have to follow the law, that’s what I’m required to do.”

    “My world view is based on the Bible, is based on the Constitution,” he added. “If you read the Founding Fathers’ documents, they based the Constitution on the Bible, you look at the Declaration of Independence, they’re not talking about some esoteric thing, they’re talking about God.”

    Link.

    Oh, wait. Oh, shit. It looks like Kreep won: http://freethoughtblogs.com/dispatches/2012/06/08/birther-wins-judgeship-in-california/

    So one madhatter, Orly Taitz lost, but another man-who-can’t-think-straight was elected. [sorrow]

  143. 643
    Esteleth, [an error occurred while processing this directive]

    Audley, the thing about boy babies that is hard – changing their diapers.

    See, babies don’t have control over their bladders and are prone to peeing as part of the “aah! you just took my diaper off and it’s cold!” response.

    Male-bodied people hold onto their penises for a reason when they pee.

    So people changing the diapers of boy babies learn quickly to duck, wear unimportant shirts, etc.

  144. 644
    Sili

    This was a doctor’s visit that could only have produced good news no matter which way it went, as long as the fetus is looking healthy.

    What do you mean?

    Aren’t we supposed to throw a party every time a woman needs an abortion?

  145. 645
    Sili

    Male-bodied people hold onto their penises for a reason when they pee.

    Yeah.

    We’re afraid feminazis are gonna steal them, the moment they get a chance.

  146. 646
    Patricia, OM

    Congrats Audley & Mr.!!!

    Oh goody a girl. *grins*

  147. 647
    keenacat

    So people changing the diapers of boy babies learn quickly to duck, wear unimportant shirts, etc.

    My experience is that girls are better at peeing on their caregivers. Boys mostly pee in their own face. :D

  148. 648
    chigau (違う)

    Yay! DarkFetus female!
    (I would have yay’d a male, too)

  149. 649
    Giliell, professional cynic -Ilk-

    Audley
    Annecdotime: Mr is a true hands on dad with his girls. So he’s a champion diaper-changer. Some time ago we were at a friend’s birthday party when one of her three boys announced to him that he had a loaded diaper, so Mr. thought that at her birthday our friend deserved a bit time off and started cleaning him. Until he came to the little willy. At that point he went and got our friend because that was unknown territory for him :)

    Talking about girls and boys
    We all know and hate the Smurfette principle, but it’s amazing how much even the one female character can do.
    One of the recent TV series they watch is “Trenk, the little knight”. It’s the story of a little farmboy who becomes the footboy of a knight.
    Well, obviously people reproduced differently in the middle-ages because there are only 4 female characters:
    The mother and sister of the hero who feature 3 or 4 times in the whole series, the daughter of the lord who’s a girly-girl spoiled brat who only thinks about dresses and jewelery and boys and Thekla, the daughter of the good knight.
    Of course there are knights and lords and priests and soldiers and cooks and such en masse.
    But the one regular female character is a kick-ass girl who wants to be a knight, too, who always saves the hero’s ass and in the end she becomes a knight, too, because the only reason why she couldn’t be is because she’s a girl and that’s no reason at all. And it made me happy to hear #1 while drawing that she’s drawing Thekla who is a knight and a girl and that being like her is cool.

  150. 650
    niftyatheist, perpetually threadrupt

    Even more bummed out today than I was the other day. Official snail mail confirmation that the new principal at the supposedly non-sectarian school is indeed the person I was worried about. Looked up her doctoral thesis earlier in the spring – after the meetings where parents were supposed to be welcome to meet and interview this candidate were abruptly cancelled (!!) – and it is god-soaked. :( She is “blessed” – words of wisdom from Pastor – guidance for the plans the Lord has for her to provide leadership for students, bible quotes blah blah.

    My unease was written all over my face as I read – Nifty son asked what’s up – I chuckled and said Don’t worry, it’s not your report card! But he really wanted to know. I briefly outlined my concerns but stressed that hopefully this person is a professional who will not let her religious beliefs be injected into her work and besides, the teachers at his school rock.

    He then dropped the bombshell that as of the last day of school, not one of his teachers’ contracts had yet been renewed. :(

  151. 651
    Giliell, professional cynic -Ilk-

    So people changing the diapers of boy babies learn quickly to duck, wear unimportant shirts, etc.

    My experience is that nothing tops a 2m explosive shit in your face, on the couch and the wall behind you.
    Thankfully the kid was fully breastfed at the time…

  152. 652
    niftyatheist, perpetually threadrupt

    DarkFetus is a girl!

    Hooray!!! This is SOOO exciting! COngratulations Audley and to Mr Darkheart, too.

  153. 653
    Pteryxx

    He then dropped the bombshell that as of the last day of school, not one of his teachers’ contracts had yet been renewed. :(

    nifty: all my instincts are screaming KEEP RECORDS. Keep records of everything, if not for yourself, for the current teachers on the block. I smell an ACLU lawsuit in the near future.

  154. 654
    Owen

    Oh look, threadrupt again (constant lurker, infrequent poster…). Commiserations and/or congratulations as appropriate to all of you.
    Keenacat @147 – you’re exactly right about boy babies. Thing II, having been from his mother’s womb untimely rip’t, and while still squalling at the injustice of being born, added insult to his own injury by peeing in his face at the ripe old age of 90 seconds. That photo’s going in the teenage blackmail album, I can tell you.

  155. 655
    Hekuni Cat, MQG

    TLC, *hugs*

    Flamethorn, welcome to TET!

    Audley, congratulations! I look forward to reading all about your and DarkFetus’ continuing adventures. ♥

  156. 656
    Sili

    My experience is that nothing tops a 2m explosive shit in your face, on the couch and the wall behind you.

    Farmers quickly learn to watch out for the sneezing cow.

  157. 657
    cicely

    How on earth can people equate any sort of food intake with morality – with goodness or badness? It boggles my mind.

    Misapplication of ‘Gluttony’, of Deadly Sins fame. With a possible assist from ‘Sloth’.
    -
    Bill Dauphin, fare well. And please come back, y’hear?
    -

    Why should spices be evil? Is it simply that enjoyment of life is bad?

    Puritan austerity? Spice = luxury = wanton waste of money? And…

    …yes.
    -
    Tony, a (late) friend of mine was a deputy sheriff, out in OK. One night, they brought in a guy who’d been caught sexually assaulting a neighbor’s dobermann. For the second time.
    -
    I like Froot Loops. Dry.
    -
    Orange juice goes nicely with vodka.

    Or…in a Very Large Jar (not sure what the capacity actually is), place 22 peeled lemons (noting that the lemons will violently object to being peeled), several sticks of cinnamon, some honey, and a bunch of vodka. Put it in the closet and forget it for a while. Strain through cheesecloth into a clean, Not As Large Jar. Put it back into the closet, and forget it for another while. Use tubing to siphon the clear fluid out, pointedly avoiding the cloudy/opaque fluid at the bottom, which you then discard. Bottle the clear (yellow/brown) fluid, drink and share with friends.

    You can do the same thing with apricots, only the soused apricots are yummy all on their own, so don’t throw them away.
    -
    carlie, you are officially encouraged to take my share of the world’s cilantro.

    If I want to taste soap, I’ll just shave me off some Ivory.
    -
    Hi, Flamethorn; welcome in. :)
    -

    DarkFetus is a girl!

    Congrats and huzzah!
    -
    I remember this one time when I was changing Son—no sooner had I got him cleaned up and the fresh new diaper under his butt, than he simultaneously dropped a high-speed bomb on the diaper, and fire-hosed pee back over his shoulder and onto the wall.
    -

  158. 658
    niftyatheist, perpetually threadrupt

    Pteryxx, Oh I hope you are wrong, but my spidey senses are tingling, too. :( Only, I am afraid that it will be hopeless – lives messed up anyway, etc. I will copy what letters I do have. In past years, teachers all had their contracts renewed in April or May – unless they were not being hired back (which happened once or twice but was very rare). I hope it is only because of the changeover in principal – but this has happened twice before (new principal) without teachers being left hanging like this. :(
    Looking around at the insidious reach of religion in every single sphere of life – and its destructive power (which has increased enormously over the past 15 years) and I really feel helpless and despairing. Eff. Better go try to do something that may lift my mood or I am going to be weeping next. Damn and blast it all.

  159. 659
    Ogvorbis: Still failing at being human.

    Back to work. People were worried.

    Then she asked me what use mosquitos are when there are so many other insects around to be eaten. Anyone have any good answers?

    Easy. Animals, and plants, are not meant to be ‘useful’. They do not exist to be food. They exist to breed. Each individual within a species has the same goal: to breed (while (of course) not getting eaten).

    I’ve never driven an automatic.

    For a long time, I only drove manuals. After my knee got destroyed in the army, though, an automatic became, well, not a necessity, but definately a comfort thing.

    Boy’s car has a manual tranny. Wife and I taught him to drive it in about four days. And the clutch is still in excellent condition.

    Mosquitoes like me so much, my mere presence can *suck them away from other people*. Oh joy.

    I am the opposite. People will cluster around me because the mosquies stay away.

    Though there was this time at a fire up in Montana, but, in the interest of Pharyngula comity, never mind.

    There’s an episode of The Simpsons where Marge is at a chili cook-off sale and sees a spice rack, and says something like “Eight spices? Some must be repeats. Oh-re-gah-no? What the hell?” Always made me think of my house growing up.

    At a friend’s house, his mother had the following spices: salt, pepper, nitre, sage and nutmeg. That was it. And she made her own cured hams and sausages. The salt was always on the table. They thought it quite odd that I put pepper on my corn-on-the-cob.

    UK news is talking about massive fires in Colorado and New Mexico. No idea if Bro Og has been/is likely to be whisked away (do people get brought in from across the whole US?), but thinking of him – and his colleagues – in any case.

    I go on the fire call-out list on Sunday. I expect to be gone by the 21st. If not sooner.

    But yes, the fire militia gets called up from all over the country. If a resource order cannot be filled locally, it goes to the region. If the region cannot fill it, it UTFs* nationally.

    In other news: going to the doc later to find out if DarkFetus is girl- or boy-type! Woo hoo!

    Great news. Now you’ll know: blue with dinosaurs and trucks, or pink with Barbie and dishes!

    By the by, the immediately above is a joke. Honest.

    And garlic!

    I have been known to go through three pounds of fresh garlic in a month.

    My spice rack? Wow. Seven different kinks of salt, eight different kinks of peppers, seven kinks of dried chiles, two kinks of oregano, etc. Three entire shelves. Not to mention the stuff that stays in the fridge or freezer (like poppy seeds).

    There must have been over 20 cloves stuffed into the flesh here and there – it was fantastic.

    I think there is a recipe I put on the Pharyngula Wiki in which I use about 40 cloves. And two sticks of butter.

    I hate cilantro.

    I think there is a genetic component to whether or not one likes cilantro. Those with the ‘wrong’ gene think it tastes like soap.

    I love leaf coriander.

    DarkFetus is a girl!

    XX!

    Wonderful! Makes thinking about the name a little easier!

    Barbie! and rhumba pants! and ponies! and pink!

    * UTF = Unable To Fill

  160. 660
    Owen

    Also, raspberries in gin work very well – take raspberries, place in large jar with gin and sugar. Leave for 3-6 months in the dark. After that, strain out the raspberries and eat them for dessert. Oh, and you can drink the fruit-infused gin, too.

  161. 661
    Sili

    Seven different kinks of salt, eight different kinks of peppers, seven kinks of dried chiles, two kinks of oregano, etc.

    I never realised you were so kinky, Og.

    Live and learn.

    (And I like boiled veggies, myself. Though not à l’anglaise.)

    ((And peas.))

  162. 662
    niftyatheist, perpetually threadrupt

    The baby talk is lovely. :) (soothing) I quickly learned to keep a supply of plain cotton cloth diapers (very soft) in the change area. I used one underneath the baby and (for the boys) would quickly lay one over his penis as soon as the soiled diaper was opened – the baby would pee, I’d gently use the cloth diaper to finish cleaning him (followed with a damp cloth, then a pat dry with the clean side of the cloth diaper, put on fresh diaper and voila! Freshly changed baby and no unexpected sprinkling! Added bonus – soft cloth diapers are extremely absorbent, so drying a damp baby’s bottom is easy and thorough without rubbing…just gently pat and press the diaper all over to absorb any moisture left from cleaning the area. This greatly decreases the likelihood of diaper rashes, too.

  163. 663
    Esteleth, [an error occurred while processing this directive]

    Can we talk about ice cream? I love ice cream, and my favorite kind is the kind you make with liquid nitrogen.

    Here’s a good recipe:

    1 gallon whole-fat milk
    1 tsp vanilla
    1 cup chopped raspberries
    1/2 cup melted baker’s chocolate
    1 gallon liquid nitrogen

    Large metal mixing bowl, wooden spoons, safety equipment.

    Dip raspberries in chocolate until well coated. Let harden. Pour milk and vanilla into bowl, then add raspberries.

    Don safety equipment. While one person stirs the milk mixture quickly, pour the nitrogen over it at a moderate but steady rate. Continue until ice cream is semi-solid and smooth.

  164. 664
    Ogvorbis: Still failing at being human.

    I never realised you were so kinky, Og.

    How is having a well-stocked spice and herb cupboard kinky? I don’t understand.

  165. 665
    Giliell, professional cynic -Ilk-

    Ah, reminds me of the cocktail I recently “invented”:
    Fresh ginger, grenadine, grapefruit juice and gin over crushed ice.
    I likes it.

    Nifty
    Blargh, that sounds bad :(

  166. 666
    Nutmeg

    *resists urge to make ice cream with the liquid nitrogen on the counter 5 feet away*

  167. 667
    niftyatheist, perpetually threadrupt

    Esteleth, that is an awesome ice cream recipe! My boys’ science teacher a few years back had them make some in class one time. But your recipe for chocolate/raspberry sounds mouth-watering!

  168. 668
    Esteleth, [an error occurred while processing this directive]

    Nifty, you can also give them this one:

    1 gallon whole-fat milk
    1/2 cup maple syrup
    4 slices of bacon, cooked and chopped

    This is called “breakfast” ice cream.

    When I was an undergrad, the chemistry club would have ice cream-making contests. I think it shows.

  169. 669
    niftyatheist, perpetually threadrupt

    OMGs Esteleth, bacon and ice cream and maple syrup?!?! You know I have to make it!

  170. 670
    myeck waters

    Someone calling themselves “littlewoman” appears to be trolling in the A con with an anti-harassment policy thread.

  171. 671
    Gnumann+, out&proud cultural marxist (just don't ask me about Gramsci)

    How is having a well-stocked spice and herb cupboard kinky? I don’t understand.

    It rather depends on how you apply the ginger…

  172. 672
    niftyatheist, perpetually threadrupt

    Ogvorbis, 164, I think Sili was referring to your reference to the typo in your post:

    Seven different kinks of salt, eight different kinks of peppers, seven kinks of dried chiles, two kinks of oregano, etc.

  173. 673
    Esteleth, [an error occurred while processing this directive]

    The most important thing about making liquid nitrogen ice cream is to keep stirring. Otherwise, you get a brick.

    Also, I said metal bowl and wooden spoon for a reason. Plastic will shatter. Also, be very careful about using electric mixers.

  174. 674
    niftyatheist, perpetually threadrupt

    OOps! “referring to the typo in your post” (get that “your reference” outta there!)

  175. 675
    Ogvorbis: Still failing at being human.

    typo

    Typo? Typo?

    Oh.

    Hmm.

    My Freudian slip appears to be showing.

  176. 676
    Ms. Daisy Cutter, General Manager for the Cleveland Steamers

    Audley, congrats!!!

    So…”Maxine”? :D

    Rev. BDC, quoting an idiot:

    God destroyed 2 cities in the Bible because they were full of homosexuality.

    An idiot who doesn’t even know their own babble. As usual.

    Sili:

    Aren’t we supposed to throw a party every time a woman needs an abortion?

    I do. You don’t want my streamer to hit you. It could get messy.

  177. 677
    Owen

    I’m definitely trying that breakfast ice cream recipe. I normally use the Ben and Jerry’s recipe book, which has a good set of ice cream base recipes in it. Shouldn’t be too awkward to tweak that to accomodate the maple syrup…

  178. 678
    Esteleth, [an error occurred while processing this directive]

    My dad has a spicy tooth (y’know, like a sweet tooth, but for spice). Comes from having lived in the Indian subcontinent as a child. He passed this on to me.

    I like sweet, but not the cloying syrupy sweet that is so common in American cooking.

    But hot damn do I love spice.

  179. 679
    Esteleth, [an error occurred while processing this directive]

    Owen, about that recipe: be careful! Use proper maple syrup, not Aunt Jemima or whatever.

    Also, don’t use more than half a cup per gallon of milk. The consistency gets weird and the flavor just becomes a sugar bomb if more is used

  180. 680
    Sili

    On the subject of genderneutral forms of adress:

    (from Tumblr *ptooey*)

    people I call “dude.”

    male friends: dude
    female friends: dude
    cis friends: dude
    queer friends: dude
    trans* friends: dude
    my parents: dude
    my boss: dude
    the president: mr. dude
    the queen: your dudeness
    the pope: holy dude

  181. 681
    Nutmeg

    Audley: I meant to say earlier that it made me so happy to read about your reaction to finding out that you’re having a girl.

    My folks are old-fashioned, so they decided that they didn’t want to know what I was until I was born. When I finally emerged and they found out I was a girl, my dad danced a jig around the delivery room.

    My parents told me that story numerous times as I was growing up, and it was always reassuring to remember that my dad was thrilled that I was a girl. My older brother was never really into doing “boy” things with my dad, but I was, and sometimes people (not my parents) made me feel out of place. It helped to know that my parents never wished that I was a boy.

  182. 682
    Tony! The Queer Shoop

    dianne @43:
    Spices aren’t good, or evil.
    They’re GRRRRRRRRRRRRRREAT!
    (I can’t remember the last time I saw a commercial for Frosted Flakes).

    __
    Pteryxx:

    there’s a reason it’s called Hot Cock Sauce.

    I’ve tried it before. It’s a bit more heat than I’m looking for in my food (I do like spicy and/or hot food, but I do have my limits).
    My comment was more ‘gutter-minded’. Hell, I was probably in the sewer with what I was thinking :)

    Re: spices=evil
    Thanks for the link to your comment. I’m puzzled though. Believers love to say homosexuals are a sin, an abomination, and unnatural. If gays are unnatural/a sin/an abomination what does that say about herbs and spices which are natural? Is everything evil?

    __keenacat:

    I have certain preferences, however, because I am partial about not keeping spices for overly long, as they lose a lot of flavor.

    I’m bad about keeping spices for too long (waaaay too long; some of the spices in my pantry have been there the entire time I’ve lived in Florida-since ’03). My parents are worse. For my last vacation (earlier this year), I went to Orlando to visit them (as well as my recently returned from South Korea sister). One early afternoon, everyone left the house and mom wanted me to cut up some veggies and prep some other stuff. I went ahead and prepped and cooked (she cooked for my sister and I for years; I figured I can return the favor). As I’m going through the cabinets looking for spices, I come across lots of spices. Many of them were dated *1980* (we lived in San Antonio, TX back then).

    Audley:
    Super Contgratulations

  183. 683
    Giliell, professional cynic -Ilk-

    Ahhh, it’s too late for doing that now, Audley, but Mr. and his brother always betted what sex the fetus would have. The loser had to eat a lemon. To make it more fun the “punishment” would be scheduled fot christmas when the whole family was together. The winning side bought 3 X 2 lemons from different places. One of each duo would be cut and handed out to the family to taste which one was the most sour. When everybody had agreed on one the second lemon would be given to the loser who had to eat it.
    First round Mr said girl and won, second time he said boy and lost. He’s very happy with his three women and one of those proud girl daddies. Cause they can play football (soccer) while still wearing cute skirts!

  184. 684
    Hairhead, whose head is entirely filled with Too Much Stuff

    Audley: Super Congrats on DarkSheFetus! When my wife was pregnant, the ultrasound was inconclusive on the sex, what with the little hand waving in *just* the wrong place. Because she was over 35, we had amniocentesis, too, and the chromosomes would tell the story. After the doctor confirmed there were no genetic abnormalities, she asked, “Do you want to know the sex of the baby?”

    I said, “I don’t care.”

    My wife said, “Tell me.”

    The doctor replied, “Okay, according to the rules, I have to ask you twice more, ‘Do you want to know the sex of your baby?’

    My wife says “Yes.” Twice. Quickly.

    “It’s a boy.”

    Wife’s mouth drops. She was SO SURE it was a girl.

    (Don’t worry, she loves our son to pieces, and never, ever mentions that she wanted a girl, or anything like that.)

  185. 685
    AJ Milne

    Audley, congratulations.

    In lesser news, I talked myself into it, mentioning it, earlier. And so made myself a blackened chicken breast for dinner. With sauteed vegetables.

    (/Used a lesser grill spice mix for the kids’ chicken, on the assumption that this would be wiser. But I dunno for sure anymore. My daughter will bogart the formerly safely-mine panang when I order it, if I’m not careful, now.)

  186. 686
    AJ Milne

    … which totally calls for food pr0n, right?

    Blackened:

    https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B0TOqvK3JA6cRWo4c3NJc29RZWM

    Non-blackened:

    https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B0TOqvK3JA6cOW9MVmpCN3RvQVU

  187. 687
    RichardAustin

    Lynna:

    Oh, wait. Oh, shit. It looks like Kreep won: http://freethoughtblogs.com/dispatches/2012/06/08/birther-wins-judgeship-in-california/

    So one madhatter, Orly Taitz lost, but another man-who-can’t-think-straight was elected. [sorrow]

    Don’t give up yet. He’s actually losing right now.

    Official Tally as of this moment:
    GARLAND PEED 195920 50.01%

    GARY GEORGE KREEP 195841 49.99%

    There’s still almost 18k ballots left in the county to count, and Peed is only winning by 79 votes, but for the moment Kreep is in second place, not first, and it’s certainly not a done deal.

  188. 688
    Alexandra (née Audley)

    Peed and Kreep?

    *headshake*

  189. 689
    RichardAustin

    Audley:

    It’s San Diego. They’re a little odd. Large military population + large immigrant population = weird political mix.

  190. 690
    Tony! The Queer Shoop

    Re: cilantro
    It seems we have those that love it and those that think it is evil :)
    I’m in the middle. Take it or leave it. Who wants my portion?

    thunk @91:
    I hear you about the texture of food.
    Food I don’t like b/c texture:
    Tomatoes, mushrooms, calamari, octopus, clams, mussels, oysters (just no; can’t do it), chitterlings, sauerkraut, liver (texture & smell), bananas, and a few more I can’t remember off the top of my head.
    Me food quirks: I like the taste of strawberries, but hate the little seeds. When I fix fruit smoothies, I have to strain them out. I *love* fresh, 100% orange juice, and despise pulp (as a child, I would defrost the frozen oj, but this was before they made pulp-free OJ; Mom just laughed watching me spend 20 minutes straining all the pulp out of a pitcher)
    I recently discovered Asian Pears, and I think they are amazing.

    I’m curious about your dislike of spices. If for no other reason than there are *so* many of them out there. Let’s fix up a homeopathic garlic butter cilantro mixture and find out how far we can dilute it until you like it.

    __
    cilantro=soap taste for some people. Intriguing.
    Is that only when cilantro is predominant in a dish (like salsa) or does that taste manifest even when cilantro is a small component of the dish (a tiny sprig used to garnish black beans and rice, for instance)?
    __
    Josh @99:
    I thought turkey burgers were very low in fat.
    Re: whole grain (this isn’t in direct response to what you wrote; I get the feeling you already knew this stuff; it’s more for general benefit of others)

    http://www.heart.org/HEARTORG/GettingHealthy/NutritionCenter/HealthyDietGoals/Whole-Grains-and-Fiber_UCM_303249_Article.jspWhole grains contain the entire grain – the bran, germ and endosperm. Examples include whole-wheat flour, oatmeal, whole cornmeal, brown rice and bulgur.

    Eating whole grains provides important health benefits:

    Whole grains are generally good sources of dietary fiber; most refined (processed) grains contain little fiber.
    Dietary fiber from whole grains, as part of an overall healthy diet, helps reduce blood cholesterol levels and may lower risk of heart disease.
    Fiber-containing foods such as whole grains help provide a feeling of fullness with fewer calories and so may help with weight management.

    And of course, there’s quite a bit of consumer confusion over whole grain, whole wheat, and multigrain:

    http://www.iflr.msu.edu/uploads/files/109/Student%20Papers/Confusion%20btw%20Health%20Claims%20and%20Whole%20Grain.pdf
    How can an average consumer understand the differences between whole grain and fiber
    and good versus excellent when the context of such items are so convoluted? Using the word
    “fiber” in health claims loses the connection with “whole grains”. Unless consumers’ knowledge
    of fiber and whole grains is current even the USDA’s Food Pyramid does not help to enlighten
    the public. Food labels themselves do not “give consumers enough context to determine easily
    how much of their recommended daily amount of whole grains they are getting from one serving
    of food.”

    Of course one path to reducing the confusion would be proper education. But as we’re [sadly] seeing with niftyatheist’s situation, many believers refuse to keep their beliefs at home.
    __
    opposablethumbs:

    How to stop roasting the garlic before it carbonises …

    Three things I can think of off the top of my head (I’m assuming you’re speaking of roasting them in the oven; apologies if I’m wrong):
    -the heat could be too high
    -the oven rack could be too close to the broiler
    -you forgot about it/didn’t set a timer :)

  191. 691
    Tony! The Queer Shoop

    Audley:
    I’m thinking Kreep/Peed 2016.
    geez, that’s kreepee.

  192. 692
    Gnumann+, out&proud cultural marxist (just don't ask me about Gramsci)

    Is that only when cilantro is predominant in a dish (like salsa) or does that taste manifest even when cilantro is a small component of the dish (a tiny sprig used to garnish black beans and rice, for instance)?

    For me it’s mostly large, uncooked quantities of the stuff that tastes unpleasantly soapy. My brother is more sensitive. So either he’s a wuss, or it varies.

  193. 693
    Tony! The Queer Shoop

    Nutmeg:

    It helped to know that my parents never wished that I was a boy.

    I can’t imagine how it feels for a young girl to be told by one or both her parents that they really wanted a boy. I’m so glad your parents were more compassionate than that.
    _

    Slightly on a tangent: my little Krystal (really, she’s small I tell ya:
    https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/47573_1771515528661_2854219_n.jpg) is an example of ‘not wanting females’*. While taking my dear departed Max to the vet a few years back, a guy walks in with a shoebox with little Krystal pup inside. He said their family wanted boys so they didn’t want her at all and had the *brilliant* idea to bring an unwanted pet to a veterinarian’s office. They took her, but were unsure what to do with her since they don’t take in pets. They asked me if I wanted her b/c I just happened to be standing there and no other customer was in the building. I took one look and said hell yeah. Of course since the previous family didn’t want her, they didn’t take the best care of her, as the box had just a bit of fecal matter (what is it with today with postings about poop; oh wait, the blog belongs to a poopyhead). Max had just gotten washed and cleaned, so I drove 25 minutes home to drop him off and come back, while they bathed Krystal and set up appointments for her to get all the relevent shots, etc. I’ll just say the guy who dumped her off was an ass, but I’m also glad he did. I’ve never had a dog that will curl up on my bed at night, or that will act as *my* protector when other dogs are around. I love her bunches.

    __
    *yeah, we’re talking about people, but I know I’ve heard about people not wanting female animals too. FFS, how far does sexism reach in the world??

  194. 694
    The Laughing Coyote (Canis Sativa)

    Both my dogs are females, and they’ve both been excellent dogs throughout their entire lives.

    Sexism with dogs is stupid because they’re not even really all that sexually dimorphic. Though, I have an old book about German Shepherds that describes how the males are supposed to look ‘masculine’ and the females ‘feminine’, with quite a few photos for visual references.

  195. 695
    PZ Myers

    NEW THREAD!

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