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A little light entertainment

It’s another day of flying about for me (and tomorrow, there’s even more flying across the Atlantic), so here’s something to chew over: My Telekinesis, a site dedicated to explaining how to do all kinds of magical things with the power of your brain. It even has instructions! I was all keen on trying to levitate while I wait for the next leg of my flight, but the first step I was supposed to take was to “open my third eye”. I’ve only got two. I don’t think it was fair of the author to lead us cripples on like that.

I also noticed that the author had to explain that his technique works best when you’re asleep. Nice — I should contribute an article explaining my amazing mental power, called “dreaming”.

Being the kind of guy I am, I jumped straight to the article about evil powers. It wasn’t very helpful.

    Dark Bomb

First take all of your energy and convert it into darkness, if you dont have energy then you should draw mana from the darkness. Then lift your hands over your head and pull all the darkness energy into your hands. You should do this until it is feeling very heavy. Then make it unstable by making it to where it will explode on contact. To do this simply imagine it like a bomb. Then throw it hard against a target or down on the ground. It will hurt you and everything else in its way.

It’s got 350 comments, and they aren’t all “Bwahahahahaha!” There are people enthusing over using this power against bunny rabbits and people — somehow, the idea of some nerd concentrating really hard and waving his hands at me (or a bunny) doesn’t scare me very much.

(via rationalbrain.)

Comments

  1. consciousness razor says

    What evidence have you given us to believe? I still don’t see any at all. Give us some pants shitting or something.* Easy enough, right? Let’s have it.

    *I don’t mean your own. I mean … uh… magical pants shitting.

  2. Janine: History’s Greatest Monster says

    sometimes quirky, I was just remembering how creepy it felt when a creationist showed me extra attention, that somehow, an other commenter was leading me astray into atheism.

  3. sometimes quirky says

    erodinbladewin:

    Then respect me anyway. be the bigger man, respect this immature troll (sarcasm) so hell give you the evidence.

    Okaaaayyy, so my attempting to be polite earlier obviously doesn’t work well with you. Small words do appear to get through, though, so let’s try this:

    No-one owes you respect, and you’ve certainly not said anything in this thread to garner any. You’re just wasting time. Your own as well as ours. It’s pointless. It’s pathetic. And, good dawg, but it’s so boring and repetitive. Least you could do at this stage would be an attempt to make it entertaining.

  4. Ogvorbis says

    Fuck. You know, some trolls actually allow their schtick to evolve. This one just keeps going with the ‘Redhead’, with the ablist insults, with no clue that there is a difference between proof and evidence, and with his four-year-old style discourse. Try something new, you little asswipe. Please?

  5. says

    How can I respect someone who won’t even follow a simple rule like “don’t use ‘retarded’ as an insult”?

    Seriously. You haven’t begun to act in a way that would be worthy of respect.

  6. sometimes quirky says

    Janine: History’s Greatest Monster

    sometimes quirky, I was just remembering how creepy it felt when a creationist showed me extra attention, that somehow, an other commenter was leading me astray into atheism.

    Oh yeah, creepy’s a good word for it. I’m glad you pointed it out – there’s times I don’t tend to pick up on things like that until it’s way past the “too late” stage and I suddenly find myself trapped in some form or another.

  7. erodinbladewin says

    redhead can have the evidence if he respects me and shows hes a senior scientist working for a company.

  8. erodinbladewin says

    You all are still commenting here. If im such a waste of time, ill take my evidence elsewhere. *shrugs* your attempts to label me have no effec except amusing me and occasionally making me laugh.

  9. sometimes quirky says

    erodinbladewin:

    You all are still commenting here. If im such a waste of time, ill take my evidence elsewhere…

    Feel free.

  10. Janine: History’s Greatest Monster says

    redhead can have the evidence if he respects me and shows hes a senior scientist working for a company.

    Wrong, Dew! It is up to you to research what Nerd’s real name is and to find out where he works.

    Remember, I am only demanding from you what you are demanding from us.

    I happen to know Nerd’s real name but I will withhold that information.

  11. Weed Monkey says

    You all are still commenting here.

    You know, troll munching is a great spectator sport.

  12. Janine: History’s Greatest Monster says

    your attempts to label me have no effec except amusing me and occasionally making me laugh.

    It would not surprise me to find out that you laugh at your own farts.

  13. erodinbladewin says

    Ok, then if thats what i have to do, i guess he doesnt get the evidence …

  14. Janine: History’s Greatest Monster says

    Dew, what an earth shattering lose for all of us.

    Now stick the fucking flounce.

  15. consciousness razor says

    It’s like you think we’re desperate to get this evidence you’re supposedly hiding from us. I, personally, don’t give a fuck if you ever present it (whatever “it” is, if anything at all). It will make no difference to me, as long as you keep acting like a whiny little crank. Instead, it’s pretty clear that you’re desperately craving attention. You want people to play by your bullshit rules, but that’s not going to happen here. So you could go somewhere else to wank, or you can play by the house rules, which means giving us whatever evidence you might have.

  16. Weed Monkey says

    Ok, then if thats what i have to do, i guess he doesnt get the evidence …

    The evidence that doesn’t exist, you mean.

    Disbelief in extraordinary claims is and should be the default position. If you make extraordinary claims (as you have done) without any evidence (as you have done) you deserve all the ridicule you get. It’s really up to you.

  17. erodinbladewin says

    Yeah, im so desperate to give world changing evidence to people who act like douches. I want you to have the evidence if youll take it. but first, you must act like someone who will actually use it correctly. you aint getting rich or famous off me brony, because all youd do is publish it. Its my evidence, my rules.

  18. Janine: History’s Greatest Monster says

    Nope, im rational and mature. Im sorry you all wish to assume.

    You have provided evidence for this. And I have to say, Dew, but you are mistaken about your assessment.

    Now stick the fucking flounce.

  19. erodinbladewin says

    Right, disbelieving in something when theres no evidence for or against the claim … Look at the machines that exist. How many of them can detect any sort of energy besides electromagnetic energy in the human body? None, so science cannot yet prove or disprove Ki. All you have “against” the claims it exists is the crackpots. Did you know the Dim mak is real? It is meant to disrupt the chakra system to violently someone faints from the shock. however, out of all the people who say they can do it, ive only ever seen me and one friend do it. We did it on someone who tried to stab us >.>

  20. consciousness razor says

    Yeah, im so desperate to give world changing evidence to people who act like douches.

    No, you’re desperate to converse with us and not give us any evidence. Because you don’t have any, and because you’re a wanker.

  21. sometimes quirky says

    You think you’re mature? That must make you at least twelve the.. Oh, y’know what? I can’t be bothered.

    Take your “evidence” elsewhere. We won’t mind. Honest.

  22. erodinbladewin says

    Ill wait for redhead to respond. He actually has a place he could use to further the studies. Problem is, i think hes just gonna ask for a video before he plays nice … pity, i dont reward people who act like assholes.

  23. Janine: History’s Greatest Monster says

    Dew is practiced in Cheney Logic; the absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence.

    Fuckface, fucking stick the fucking flounce!

  24. Ogvorbis says

    Right, disbelieving in something when theres no evidence for or against the claim

    And it is up to the one making the extraordinary claim to provide the evidence otherwise the default position is that the claim is bullshit. What part of this do you not understand (other than the part starting with ‘And’ and endeing with ‘bullshit’)?

  25. Janine: History’s Greatest Monster says

    …pity, i dont reward people who act like assholes.

    And yet Dew insists on playing with himself.

    Fuckface, fucking stick the fucking flounce!

  26. erodinbladewin says

    Ok, janine, that is exactly true. People said the world was a cube, and there was no evidence to the contrary until people went out and found it while sailing.

    there was no evidence for or against the claim, until it was found. See where im going?

  27. erodinbladewin says

    Ogvorbis, i didnt say thats not how scientists work, i said thats an erroneous mindset. it you know, makes cognitive bias. You disbelieve, which means you draw a conclusion before evidence is presented. Herp derp?

  28. consciousness razor says

    Ok, janine, that is exactly true. People said the world was a cube, and there was no evidence to the contrary until people went out and found it while sailing.

    there was no evidence for or against the claim, until it was found. See where im going?

    No. You were already in TimeCube territory. Where can you go from there?

  29. Weed Monkey says

    there was no evidence for or against the claim, until it was found. See where im going?

    Dude, write a paper. Have it submitted to a reputable science journal and peer reviewed. Fame and fortune is waiting for you.

  30. sometimes quirky says

    erodinbladewin

    …See where im going?

    ‘Round and ’round in circles as far as I can tell.

  31. erodinbladewin says

    there was no evidence the world was not a cube. a lack of evidence. yet the world was proven to not be a cube (really more by mapping the earths surface than sailing, because of gravity.) A lack of evidence is not a lack of truth. Evidence given.

  32. Weed Monkey says

    … I mean, fame, fortune and the fucking Nobel prize. And I’m serious.

  33. Ogvorbis says

    Ogvorbis, i didnt say thats not how scientists work, i said thats an erroneous mindset.

    And yet that ‘erroneous mindset’ has given us modern medicine, powered flight, nuclear power, guided missles, land mines, and even an outlet for you to drop absolute nonsense.

    How many times now have you promised to leave? And why are you still here?

  34. says

    People said the world was a cube, and there was no evidence to the contrary until people went out and found it while sailing.

    People said the world was a cube? Did I miss something?

  35. Janine: History’s Greatest Monster says

    Ok, janine, that is exactly true. People said the world was a cube, and there was no evidence to the contrary until people went out and found it while sailing.

    Your grasp of history is as strong as your grasp of science.

  36. Ogvorbis says

    People said the world was a cube? Did I miss something?

    I think we have achieved TimeCube weirdness.

    I’m an historian. I freely admit that there is shitloads I do not know, but the idea of the world as a disc? Quite well known. I wonder what the citation is for the world as a cube? Did xe just pull that one of hir arse?

  37. erodinbladewin says

    Stonger than yours, because im pretty sure i could pull an excerpt from my world history textbook, and online, and loads of other place. janina is no longer worth my time, doesnt even have an elementary school education.

  38. consciousness razor says

    By the way, there was evidence for a spherical Earth way back in antiquity, though for a long time not everyone believed it. Eratosthenes even measured the circumference fairly accurately. So the first evidence we had wasn’t when Columbus sailed to the Americas. I would say you’d look like less of an idiot if you didn’t make any claims at all, but it’s too late for that.

  39. says

    People said the world was a cube, and there was no evidence to the contrary until people went out and found it while sailing.

    Well, that’s fucking wrong. The ancient Greeks, specifically Eratosthenes, had it figured out 2500 years ago, and even came up with a decent estimate of the diameter based on the different angles the sun made with the surface of the earth. Also, the earth’s shadow on the moon during eclipses was round, another clue.
    Of course, any ship sailing out to sea would eventually be gone from sight, starting with the bottom first, then the top. This would be noticed by people on shore, not the people who went out sailing.
    This is right up there with your idea that the sky is blue because sunlight is reflected off the water. And squirrels are more intelligent than human beings.
    You’re dumber than a baseball bat.

  40. erodinbladewin says

    Never said it was when columbus sailed. Youre a god damn idiot. Be gone. you put words in my mouth, then tell me im wrong, None of you here have any sort of education, i bet im talking to 12 year olds from 4 chan.

  41. Janine: History’s Greatest Monster says

    Fuckface, the ancients Greeks knew that the world was a sphere. One mathematician had a accurate proof of the measurement of the circumference of the Earth.

    Am I supposed to feel bad that an asshole that I have no respect for no longer thinks I am worth his asshole time?

    Get over yourself. And stick the fucking flounce.

  42. sometimes quirky says

    Dew,

    You’re sitting at home sniggering up your sleeve at the thought that you’ve got everyone here all upset and practically frothing at the mouth over your refusal to hand over your non-evidence, right?

    Hate to break it to you, but you’re only getting replies because it amuses us to watch you flail and twist around in response.

  43. erodinbladewin says

    Omg janine, shut up. Seriously. You have no idea of the time period i even refer to, yet you just say im wrong. youre so awesome, you can ASSUME you know what i refer to.

  44. Weed Monkey says

    Never said it was when columbus sailed. Youre a god damn idiot. Be gone. you put words in my mouth, then tell me im wrong,

    Why don’t you fucking say what you mean in the first place, then?

  45. Ogvorbis says

    But where did the idea of a cube come from? Seriously. In all my readings, it has either been a disk or a sphere. C’mon, how about a little evidence? Or is this another one of those places where rudeness means that you get to pretend that you have the evidence but refuse to show and tell?

  46. erodinbladewin says

    Quirky, i actually hope you all arent frothing at the mouth because i wont give my evidence to asshats. Thatd be a sign of rabies … Either way, i dont care if you get it or not. But none of you are scientists, and im gonna laugh harder if you think you are. I have dicsused science with scientists. You all are google kids.

  47. Janine: History’s Greatest Monster says

    But where did the idea of a cube come from?

    From Superman. Dew is a Bizarro.

  48. consciousness razor says

    Never said it was when columbus sailed.

    Okay. So are you telling me that Eratosthenes measured the shadows while he was sailing down the Nile or something? You’ll need to cite your source for that.

  49. Weed Monkey says

    What exactly are you doing here, then? In addition to giving us some cheap laughs, of course, but I doubt that was your intention.

  50. Janine: History’s Greatest Monster says

    You’ll need to cite your source for that.

    That is not part of Dew’s game.

  51. erodinbladewin says

    No, im saying youve given me enough evidence for me to say my elementary school history book was wrong. It said the world was thought square by many until Ponce de leon sailed around the world.

  52. Weed Monkey says

    No, im saying youve given me enough evidence for me to say my elementary school history book was wrong. It said the world was thought square by many until Ponce de leon sailed around the world.

    If that’s true, I feel sorry for you. Really.

  53. Janine: History’s Greatest Monster says

    Is Dew fucking with us know? I mean, seriously, this is mangled shit.

  54. says

    But none of you are scientists, and im gonna laugh harder if you think you are.

    Careful–that might make you crap yourself. It’s not uncommon for people to laugh so hard they accidentally shit thin gruel. It’s how Newton’s laws of motion were proven–action and reaction, you know.

  55. Janine: History’s Greatest Monster says

    Fucking typo monster.

    Unlike Dew, I care when I misspell or use the wrong word.

  56. kemist, Dark Lord of the Sith says

    But none of you are scientists, and im gonna laugh harder if you think you are. I have dicsused science with scientists. You all are google kids.

    Weird.

    I wonder what this PhD thing on my wall is then. Or what the deuces I did for five years in a chemistry lab.

    I didn’t know google gave away PhDs in physiology-endocrinology.

  57. sometimes quirky says

    Wait. I thought you’d already done the handong over of the evidence. Didn’t you already “Evidence given” further up the conversation?

    *scrolls up*

    Ah, yes. Number 33 in this thread:
    “…A lack of evidence is not a lack of truth. Evidence given.”

    Why are you still trying to claim you’re withholding it?

    One other question: when you say “you all”, are you refering to everyone or a singular person?

  58. erodinbladewin says

    Yeah, im a little peeved they put false information into school books.

  59. kemist, Dark Lord of the Sith says

    It’s how Newton’s laws of motion were proven–action and reaction, you know.

    Ah, yes, Newton’s law of bowel movement.

  60. Janine: History’s Greatest Monster says

    I am not a scientist but I will defer to one when that scientist is talking about their field of study.

  61. Janine: History’s Greatest Monster says

    Ah, yes, Newton’s law of bowel movement.

    Sadly, that would have been a better use of his time then all of his scribbling about alchemy.

  62. Janine: History’s Greatest Monster says

    Reading comprehension is beyond Dew.

    Fuckface, I was talking about Isaac Newton.

  63. erodinbladewin says

    that was my evidence about my claim that lack of evidence does not support a claim that something is false.

    My evidence of my abilities will come if someone with a real lab will be nice enough >.>

  64. consciousness razor says

    Newton scribbled about alchemy, not you, dumbass. Not yet, anyway.

  65. Janine: History’s Greatest Monster says

    Why do you want a fucking lab, bliss ninny? You have already shown that you have no respect for scientists.

    And yet you beg.

    You can walk under a snake’s belly and not touch the skin.

  66. consciousness razor says

    Of course, that’s probably not included in elementary history books. Never mind that. erodinbladewin is the fucking expert who’s going to tell us all about how science works.

  67. consciousness razor says

    Louis, are you sure you have the right kind of protective gear? You’ll probably need quite a few tin foil hats, as well as clean underwear to prevent contamination.

    *slaps head*

    No wonder we’ve never heard about this until now. How many labs have all that?

  68. Weed Monkey says

    that was my evidence about my claim that lack of evidence does not support a claim that something is false.

    Without evidence there’s no reason to assume any claim is true (which is, as you don’t seem to realise, the opposite of false). That is why the basic requirement for any extraordinary claim is “study it, and show the evidence”.

    That’s pretty much the scientific method. How can you NOT get it?

  69. erodinbladewin says

    Louis, people have been looking for documented proof of supernatural abilities for as far back as recorded history shows. If we can get along as people, im willing to give a shot at making that documented evidence. I have given evidence of these abilities to others, but im not the best with them, so it only works off and on. It may be possible to isolate these “on” times, and get consistent evidence that can be put together and presented.

  70. erodinbladewin says

    I do realize that, weedmonkey, but coming to a conclusion about something being true or false before evidence is presented will give you that cognitive bias thing thats been referred to.

  71. kemist, Dark Lord of the Sith says

    My evidence of my abilities will come if someone with a real lab will be nice enough >.>

    What kind of lab ?

    This is not CSI, it’s the real world.

    Labs come in all flavors.

    For the moment I have an electronics lab at my disposal. It has power sources, multimeters, oscilloscopes.

    I used to work in a chemistry lab. That has cupboards full of chemicals, a very performent ventilation system, glassware, balances, various spectrometers.

    Or do you need a computer lab ? That’s just a room with computers in it.

    White room ?

    Level 4 biological containment ?

    What ?

  72. Louis says

    Erodinbladewin, #77,

    Well I’m a scientist, you’re going to need to give me details. We’d need to agree a precise experimental protocol and not deviate one inch from it, what positive and negative results would look like, how to blind against experimenter bias, that sort of thing. Reckon you can do all that?

    Louis

  73. erodinbladewin says

    I reckon we could come up with an agreeable process and boundaries for acceptable evidence.

  74. erodinbladewin says

    I need a lab which has a machine that can stabilize electromagnetic fields. If you need evidence of the existence of an electromagnetic field around the human body, i will put myself up for study for that, as well.

  75. Weed Monkey says

    I do realize that, weedmonkey, but coming to a conclusion about something being true or false before evidence is presented will give you that cognitive bias thing thats been referred to.

    Science-minded people are ready to change their views as new evidence emerges.

  76. Louis says

    Erodinbladewin, #81,

    That’s not very helpful, I really am going to need something a little more concrete than that.

    Give me a précis of what this experiment would be testing and what it would, roughly, look like, please.

    Louis

  77. says

    Louis, people have been looking for documented proof of supernatural abilities for as far back as recorded history shows.

    And there hasn’t been any, which is why our default assumption (barring that evidence) is that they don’t exist.

    If we can get along as people, im willing to give a shot at making that documented evidence. I have given evidence of these abilities to others, but im not the best with them, so it only works off and on.

    Sort of like random chance?

    It may be possible to isolate these “on” times, and get consistent evidence that can be put together and presented.

    I hope you’re not suggesting cherry-picking the results, and only counting the times you’re “on.” Because that will get you a shiny new asshole to crap yourself with.
    I would bet money that, if this idiot ever provides “evidence,” it will be some mash-up of misinterpreted statistics. Probably confusing the tail-end of a normal distribution curve with proof of paranormal abilities.

  78. erodinbladewin says

    Basically stabilizing the field around my body and using a process known as energy manipulation, or EM for short, to attempt “telekinesis.”

  79. Weed Monkey says

    Basically stabilizing the field around my body and using a process known as energy manipulation, or EM for short, to attempt “telekinesis.”

    That’s nothing but word salad.

  80. Louis says

    Erodibladewin, #82,

    Sorry, previous post came before I saw this.

    Okay, still a good bit rougher than I’d hope. Can you elaborate a bit more, please?

    After all, since the human body can generate and maintain a moderate static electric charge under the right conditions, I’d say the fact that there exists an electromagnetic field around the human body. The human body, being composed of “standard” baryonic matter that interacts with the electromagnetic force, so I’m not sure what you are proposing is really very revolutionary.

    As for a machine that can “stabilise an electromagnetic field”, well again, I’m going to need a lot more precision. The NMR machine in my lab uses very strong magnets and certainly has a stable field and indeed is affected by external electromagnetic fields, is that about the sort of thing you need? If so, precisely what do you need to do with it, and what sort of interaction do you propose? Also, what is the output of this experiment going to look like? How will we know if this field of yours is stable or otherwise?

    Louis

  81. consciousness razor says

    I, for one, am shocked to find out that the dumbass didn’t already have the evidence he or she claimed to have a long time ago. Shocked.

  82. erodinbladewin says

    Well, louis, you have more information about the “aura” than i do. I would need the machine to be able to stabilize the field and move it closer to my body. In my ownpractice, i have found i a have much more success when my field is closer to my body than when it is farther away. The closer the better.

    In my experience, my field has been at its best when i feel slightly dizzy, but not enough it effects my vision. I really dont have much to go by, because ive used the EM method, not the aid of a machine.

    The experiment is just to see if i move an object with the energy in my body. Do you have a room which you can control the environment inside it, up to and including the air pressure?

  83. erodinbladewin says

    I have had a video that demonstrates telekinetic ability, but i was not able to rule out factors such as air movement from the movements of my body, a random occurence of pressure change, or the paper towel falling off the roll on its own, then being pushed by the aforementioned air movement. I did two experiments with paper towels. One just was just a spur of the moment attempt, the second was an attempt to replicate it, in which the towel slowly moved down roll, instead of the quick snap of movement i got the first time.

  84. Louis says

    Erodinbladewin, #86,

    Okay, that’s really a partial repeat of what you’ve already said, not incredibly helpful I’m afraid.

    So we “stabilise your electromagnetic field”, details not given, standards not described, somehow, then we watch in awe as you move a pencil across a room? Or would a pencil not work, does it have to be a better conductor?

    Would you, for example, need any form of amplification of your electromagnetic field? Perhaps in the form of some suitable clothing, so the stabilised field was channelled appropriately? If so, and your mind, your brain, is the epicentre of this phenomenon would this take the form of some kind of cranial apparel? In the lab we could experiment with a variety of materials for this, all non toxic and environmentally sourced of course. We have a good stock of a thin layer of a trivalent, group thirteen, third period, metallic element coated with a tight layer of its corresponding stable covalently bound dimetallic trioxide that we could start with. The bonus is this material would not interfere with the NMR machine to any appreciable degree. So that’s one source of experimental error ruled out.

    Louis

  85. consciousness razor says

    I would need the machine to be able to stabilize the field and move it closer to my body.

    Fuckin’ magnetic fields. How do they work?

  86. chigau (違う) says

    Did you know the Dim mak is real? It is meant to disrupt the chakra system to violently someone faints from the shock. however, out of all the people who say they can do it, ive only ever seen me and one friend do it. We did it on someone who tried to stab us >.>

    Fuck.
    Now I hafta go back and read every one of this moron’s comments.
    Fuck

  87. erodinbladewin says

    Ill give a shot at a better explanation. Compacting the field close to my body. If that doesnt work, i apologise. Im not so up on the scientific wording of today.

    I would prefer attempting to move an object that is partially metal. Enough metal to aid conductivity, but not so much that it gives possible bias.

    TK is done with the bodies energy, not by some unseen mental power. TK, at its root, utilizes the conductivity matters you referred to.

  88. says

    In my experience, my field has been at its best when i feel slightly dizzy, but not enough it effects my vision.

    I could hit you lightly behind the ear with a monkey wrench, if you think it’ll help.

  89. Louis says

    Erodinbladewin, #92,

    Oh yes, we have a facilities for full control of environment on pretty much any scale you need, from pinky finger size up to the size of a moderately large house’s living room. We can vary temperature, atmospheric content and pressure, ambient electromagnetic radiation between a wide variety of wavelengths, and a variety of physicochemical properties.

    What do you think we’ll need?

    Louis

  90. erodinbladewin says

    Something that will keep the object from moving without influence from outside of the room, but does not increase the conductivity.

  91. Rev. BigDumbChimp says

    Did you know the Dim mak is real? It is meant to disrupt the chakra system to violently someone faints from the shock. however, out of all the people who say they can do it, ive only ever seen me and one friend do it. We did it on someone who tried to stab us >.>

    Please see my #435 from the older comments.

  92. Rev. BigDumbChimp says

    Then respect me anyway. be the bigger man, respect this immature troll (sarcasm) so hell give you the evidence.

    No reason I should because it’s very obvious you are up to your tonsils in shit.

  93. erodinbladewin says

    Big, what in the world suggest RP about someone trying to stab us? would you do something like my friend and i did, if you could, and someone was trying to kill you?

  94. Louis says

    Erodinbladewin, #101,

    Okay, well I think I have access to several facilities which can attain that level of control.

    I definitely think that cranial apparel comprised of a thin layer of a trivalent, group thirteen, third period, metallic element coated with a tight layer of its corresponding stable covalently bound dimetallic trioxide will help to damp down any errors from breath etc if fashioned correctly.

    How close do you need to be to the target object?

    Louis

  95. Weed Monkey says

    Damn, that was actually the wrong video!
    For whatever reason I can’t find the Kyuss version of Monkey Wrench, there are only reproductions by Foo Fighters.

  96. erodinbladewin says

    Big,please leave the topic. Louis and i are trying to get somewhere.

  97. erodinbladewin says

    Id say within 20 feet. The object i attempt to move needs to be inside the room, and me outside the room.

  98. Rev. BigDumbChimp says

    Big, what in the world suggest RP about someone trying to stab us? would you do something like my friend and i did, if you could, and someone was trying to kill you?

    What I’m saying is you are full of shit.

  99. ChasCPeterson says

    Louis, are you you sure that type of cranial shielding will be sufficient to dampen any destabilization of the electromagnetic field during the compaction process?

  100. Rev. BigDumbChimp says

    Big,please leave the topic. Louis and i are trying to get somewhere.

    Right sorry. You’re getting somewhere alright.

  101. consciousness razor says

    Louis, are you you sure that type of cranial shielding will be sufficient to dampen any destabilization of the electromagnetic field during the compaction process?

    I’m kind of wondering that myself. I don’t know…. Maybe this is old hat, but I figured they always used a group fourteen, period five metal in these situations.

  102. Louis says

    Erodinbladewin, #109,

    Ahh good I was going to ask about that aspect.

    I have a suggestion, in fact it would be something that would be very useful in my lab. I can provide a small, completely environmentally controlled glass flask. Sealed to basically any degree you can reasonably desire. In the flask I can place a small magnetic object coated with teflon to minimise any conductive or frictional forces. I can then place a transparent barrier in front of that flask so that no physical interference can occur.

    You could then don the suggested amplificatory cranial apparel comprised of a thin layer of a trivalent, group thirteen, third period, metallic element coated with a tight layer of its corresponding stable covalently bound dimetallic trioxide to help stabilise your electromagnetic field. You could even stand next to the NMR machine if you like, that will certainly be strong enough to overwhelm any minor fluctuations in your electromagnetic field, and try to move the small teflon coated magnetic object in the flask.

    Just a quick question, you don’t have a pacemaker or any metallic implants do you? They would not be safe in the presence of the NMR machine, due to the strong electromagnetic field.

    If the initial experiment was successful we could do follow up experiments with fluids of different viscosities, perhaps even solutions of various materials under various different conditions and you could see if you could keep the teflon coated magnetic object moving in a circular motion in the flask for extended periods of time, pre-agreed by us of course.

    What do you think?

    Louis

  103. Louis says

    Consciousness Razor, #113,

    That’s actually a common misunderstanding. As per your previous suggestion, I thought cranial apparel an appropriate control measure for these experiments. However, a largely tetravalent, group fourteen, period five, metallic element is usually not the major component element of commonly found laboratory or household thin films and layers.

    We could try said element, after all it is sufficiently malleable to be made to form such thin layers, but the cost, toxicity and ease of availability makes it a less favourable candidate, despite its etymological advantages. I do have access to period five and six, group 11 metals in thin layer form, admittedly it might be noticeable if I use a suitable amount to form a useful piece of cranial apparel.

    Louis

  104. Louis says

    Chas, #111,

    Very good question. With sufficient folding I believe, yes, it will be sufficient to dampen any destabilization of the electromagnetic field during the compaction process.

    However we might run into cervical discombobulation due to an excessive matter quotient, or mass factor. After all, the cerebral impaction/compaction process I have in mind will be in the kilonewton range and delivered with a number three, eight kilogram, wooden handled, rubber headed impulse momentum transference device (for electronic purposes obviously).

    I believe that with the correct folding, and possibly descending to a number two rubber, two kilogram impulse momentum transference device (in accordance with Newton’s laws, naturally), and perhaps some structural reinforcement with material taken from Ochroma pyramidale, we can dampen the concurrent electromagnetic field destabilisation. Even in the circumstances of my colleagues coming in and disturbing us.

    Louis

  105. Louis says

    Erodinbladewin, #115,

    Excellent! I look forward to it.

    Now, where are you? I am in the UK, quite close to London, so ease of access via Heathrow/Gatwick if you are abroad is simple.

    I can sort the paper work, and confidentiality agreement which you’d need to sign, to grant you access to my laboratory. However, and I am sorry to say this, the initial experiment will require some moderate set up costs. Nothing severe, on the order of a few hundred UK pounds. And a bottle of champagne for celebrating our demonstration, if successful…and commiserating if not of course.

    That said, if you can do as you say, then the subsequent experiments would be something I can pay you for. After all, my company, colleagues and I would cheerfully pay good money for something that could move a small teflon coated magnet in a glass flask under controlled conditions. We’ve done so in the past!

    Louis

  106. Aratina Cage says

    The object i attempt to move needs to be inside the room, and me outside the room. –Dew

    Use the Force, Dew!

  107. erodinbladewin says

    Well,i live in a small town in florida named wewahitchka. Ill have to ask my boss for an advance on a couple checks. I cant guarantee this will be something i can get done within the next month. it more likely be between 1-3 months. The managers at the store i work at make 9.50 USD an hour, i make 7.90 USD an hour, so im sure you can see why a sales associate would have to scrape his coin jar for this. 26 hour weeks, by the way.

    I look forward to this with great anticipation.

  108. Rev. BigDumbChimp says

    The managers at the store i work at make 9.50 USD an hour, i make 7.90 USD an hour, so im sure you can see why a sales associate would have to scrape his coin jar for this. 26 hour weeks, by the way.

    It’s a shame someone with your powers is only making 7.90 and hour.

  109. Louis says

    Erodinbladewin, #120,

    Oh don’t ask for an advance, that’s not needed. Really, for a discovery this profound, we can wait until it’s appropriate. I totally understand the difficulty of gathering substantial sums of cash for outside interests. And on small wages, that’s extra tough.

    In fact, just to show you I’m not self interested, your local university would have the facilities for this. In fact, I know a guy called Harry Kroto at the Florida State University in Tallahassee who could easily grant you access to the facilities needed to do this. I’ve met him several times, he’s an absolutely charming bloke. Even better, unlike me, he’s a very famous scientist and has a Nobel prize, so who better to help you with your experiments?

    It’s a whole lot cheaper and easier to get to Tallahassee than London I bet!

    If you google his name you’ll find his contact details. Tell him I sent you and to call me. He knows my number.

    Louis

    P.S. Warriors or Gators?

  110. erodinbladewin says

    I will contact himas soon as i can. Thank you for your help. I appreciate your civil manner in this conversation.

    Both, since one is elementary and one is high school. ^_^

  111. consciousness razor says

    If you google his name you’ll find his contact details. Tell him I sent you and to call me. He knows my number.

    Wait, hold on! I have this weird feeling that he’s not going to send you a Christmas card this year. OMG! And you need to stay away from Florida for as long as you possibly can.

  112. Louis says

    Erodinbladwin,

    Oh no worries. Glad to be of service.

    Be sure to print out/copy the post I made at #114 (and perhaps also my #116 and #117). All the basic technical details are there. Professor Kroto should be able to help you with the actual implementation of the plan very well. Or at least direct you to a departmental colleague who would be interested. As you can imagine, as a Nobel Laureate, Professor Kroto is very busy.

    Sadly the only other Nobel Laureate I have had (far more) extensive personal interaction with is in the UK, and this isn’t a field I think Fred would be interested in.

    As for Gators/Warriors. Ahhhh I misread the Wiki article! I assumed they were both high schools. My bad. It’s so easy to be grossly mistaken.

    Louis

  113. erodinbladewin says

    In wewa,its elementary and high school. No problem. Thanks for the referral, i will be sure to put out conversation into notepad and save it.

  114. Nerd of Redhead, Dances OM Trolls says

    Man, no wonder you all are laughed at by anyone with common sense.

    Nope, intelligent people, can spell, use grammar, and present evidence. Idjit fuckwits can’t spell, can’t use proper grammar, and can’t present evidence when required. See, life is easy if you are intelligent. Oh, that’s right, you aren’t…

  115. ChasCPeterson says

    So maybe now I can raise the question: Sincere gomer? or excellent Poe?
    The only thing that made me wonder was his use of the acronym USD. That didn’t strike me as the way a kid from Wewahitchka Fla would refer to $$. But with the knowledge that he was talking to somebody in Britain, maybe. I don’t know; not much of a tell, it just didn’t quite ring true. He also mentioned nothing about his putative home town that (as Louis noted) isn;t on ‘kipedia. But it’s a damn weak case.
    Either way, wow.

  116. life is like a pitbull with lipstick ॐ says

    I don’t know, but I use USD sometimes when I am conscious of an international audience.

  117. Louis says

    Chas,

    No idea. Gomer, Poe or just plain ol’ troll. All I know is I enjoyed making references to foil made from specific elements in a repeated fashion and having that missed utterly. I telegraphed the punches for fuck’s sake and zip! Nada! No reaction!

    If Poe, good Poe.

    Louis

  118. Ichthyic says

    Louis was really gettin’ his freak on in this thread I see.

    deeeyamn.

    I think you really did hook yourself a real live gomer there, buddy!

    and it were a bigun, too!

    gratz!

  119. Janine: History’s Greatest Monster says

    Louis, what you did with Dew; that was a thing of beauty.

  120. John Morales says

    Chas,

    Sincere gomer? or excellent Poe?

    Same thing. ;)

    For example:

    People said the world was a cube, and there was no evidence to the contrary until people went out and found it while sailing.
    [...]
    there was no evidence the world was not a cube. a lack of evidence. yet the world was proven to not be a cube (really more by mapping the earths surface than sailing, because of gravity.) A lack of evidence is not a lack of truth. Evidence given.

    An example* where lack of evidence is a lack of truth supposedly is evidence for the claim that one should not require evidence before believing a claim might be true because lack of evidence is not a lack of truth.

    It’s triumphantly falsified its own contention whilst claiming to have shown evidence for it.

    * ex culo and bullshit example, but an example nonetheless.

  121. John Morales says

    nm.

    I just read the thread.

    (At least Louis was quite honest about it)

  122. Louis says

    I am pleased about this because I can have this nice chap in my lab, stirring my reactions for me telekinetically. Think of the electrical savings alone! I’m applying for a Green Chemistry award!

    Louis

  123. Ogvorbis says

    It think that Louis deserves a special service award for his writings on this thread. Maybe a rubber chicken with a special head covering?

  124. Louis says

    Ogvorbis,

    And what on earth makes you think there isn’t one on my desk as we speak…it does most of the work for me.
    Isn’t that right Mr Cluckles?

    [Demonic Chicken Voice]

    YES IT IS, MASTER

    [/Demonic Chicken Voice]

    ;-)

    Louis

    P.S. Thanks. I suppose I can always do with another one. Is this one possessed too?

  125. Louis says

    Rev BDC, #140,

    Hmmm I feel that is insufficiently folded to prevent the electromagnetic field from decay during the compaction process Chas mentioned. And also that cranial apparel is clearly designed, AS ANI FUL NOZ, to prevent external mind control not amplify the inherent human electromagnetic field, or IHEF, as per Erodinbladewin’s request. There are no baffles, minimal use of fluting and no eyepieces.

    Come on man, at least try to make some sense.

    Louis

  126. says

    Eroded*:

    redhead can have the evidence if he respects me and shows hes a senior scientist working for a company.

    First of all, the nym is Nerd of Redhead. If you must shorten, use Nerd. Nerd’s nym is a happy accident of a test of people’s reading comprehension. It seems yours is abysmal. Second of all, Nerd is a scientist and no one here is required to hand over their docs to you, Cupcake.

    Third of all, you don’t seem to know how things work at all. If you have evidence (highly questionable, to say the least), put it on the table. We get idiots here all the time who claim to have evidence for hundreds of posts, however, they always have some dubious reason for not presenting it. You’re hardly original on this score.

    This is Pharyngula. You are not automatically accorded respect here. That’s something that is earned. We’re well versed in the ways of idiots, trolls and idiotic trolls, Cupcake. You’re bringing nothing new to the table for us to sharpen our fangs on. Do better or go away. Don’t worry, though, we have a lovely parting gift for people like you – a wonderfully stiff, decaying porcupine for your stuffing pleasure. It’s a delight. Really.
     
    *How do you like your nym being fucked with, Cupcake? Stop attempting to play the sneering superior – it’s a compleat fail.

  127. Rev. BigDumbChimp says

    Come on man, at least try to make some sense.

    Sorry, you are of course correct. I shouldn’t have downed that 5th cup of shitty coffee. It’s affecting my thinking muscle thing.

  128. Louis says

    Rev BDC, #143,

    Oh no worries, just remember that Erodinbladewin and I have been doing Real Science Ideas™ and he will shortly be contacting a Nobel laureate.

    It’s important to get this in perspective. After all, look at the simple error I made with schools in his home town after misreading Wikipedia. As I said, it’s very, very easy to be spectacularly wrong.

    I wonder if Erodinbladewin understands that.

    Louis

  129. Rev. BigDumbChimp says

    I wonder if Erodinbladewin understands that.

    all signs point to no.

  130. Louis says

    Caine: Oh yes I am extremely SRS. When Prof Kroto phones me up to let me know how things went, I will of course share it. That should happen about never.

    Rev BDC: Ahhh the Magic 8 Ball hits the correct answer bang on the money as ever, eh? ;-)

    Louis

  131. vaiyt says

    @erodinbladewin

    You’re not asking us to be neutral. You don’t want us to be agnostic about your abilities. You want us to assume you’re right and take your claims at face value.

    Science always starts with the evidence. First you get the data, then you try to explain it, then you test your explanation for truth.

    You’re asking us to assume an explanation before we even get the data, which is completely bass-ackwards.

  132. Ogvorbis says

    I’m depending on you not to play the coquette with the evidence,

    I like playing coquette. Especially when I can whack someone’s ball into the middle of next week.

  133. Louis says

    Caine, #147,

    I forgot to let you know, I’m playing with my coquette* right now if it helps.

    TMI?

    Louis

    * Or is it a burette, I really should know.

  134. Antiochus Epiphanes says

    Erodinbladewin: When do you start using your superpowers to fight evil? I can envision situations in which having a paper towel handy could save the citizens of Gotham.

    Some potential headlines:
    The Window Washer Saves Shriner Coach from The Foginator!
    Cleaning Up Gotham: A Soft Profile of the Masked Quicker-Picker-Upper
    Misplacement of Small and Mobile Objects in The Room Averted!

    Also, if you need costume ideas, I’m your man. In fact, I can do this on the cheapo with equipment from Academy Sports and Bed, Bath, & Beyond.

  135. says

    I’m sorry, I’m just now catching up on this three ring circus.

    Basically stabilizing the field around my body and using a process known as energy manipulation, or EM for short, to attempt “telekinesis.”

    Wait a minute…

    … You think that you’re Magneto?

    Ah HA HA HA HA HAHAHAHAHA HA HA HA!

    *gasp!*

    Ha ha ha! Ho ho ho!
    Tee hee!

    *wipes tear*

  136. Amphiox says

    Note the veiled misogyny in the use of “redhead”. With the aim of belittlement by messing with a nym, erodedbladder chooses, of all the options it could have creatively used, the one derivation with the traditionally feminine association. The correlation of intellectually dishonest trolling with misogyny (admittedly only mild as so far displayed) holds true yet again.

    With respect to the question of Poes, I approach it the same way anything, with the same considerations of null hypothesis and parsimony. Just as, when God is indistinguishable from nothing, I act and plan my actions on the assumption of nothing, when Poe is indistinguishable from not-Poe, I act as if not-Poe, until and unless more evidence suggesting otherwise becomes available.

  137. Rev. BigDumbChimp says

    think of all the places that need cleaning in the world and he has the power.

  138. says

    Louis:

    I forgot to let you know, I’m playing with my coquette* right now if it helps.

    I was most remiss, Louis. I should have used coquet in your case. A thousand pardons.
     
    Ogvorbis, I have missed you very much.