Apr 01 2012

This link is not safe for work

Categories:

No no no. It is not. If you’re home alone, in a shuttered room, with a taser to use on any one who crashes in through the window to catch you looking…maybe not even then. Behold…The Squildo. I think just the name ought to give you enough of a hint of what’s on the other side.

OMG, it’s only $15. Why am I tempted? Why?

Oh, wait, no. That’s the shipping cost. It’s $138; suddenly, much, much less tempted.

This post has no tag

36 comments

Skip to comment form ↓

1

RW Ahrens

1 April 2012 at 5:47 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Dang, Pharyngulated already.
2

Jadehawk, cascadeuse féministe

1 April 2012 at 5:47 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

actually, it’s $138, so that should cool your urges a bit.

personally, I’m a bit more intrigued by the “Platypus g-spot nuzzler”. YMMV
3

Caine, Cruel Monster

1 April 2012 at 5:51 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Er, it’s listed as $145.00. As to why you’re tempted? Because you and the Trophy Wife™ are GGG?
4

MG Myers

1 April 2012 at 5:51 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Oh my goodness!
5

rapiddominance

1 April 2012 at 5:55 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

You’ll look like a damn peacock with it shoved up your ass.
6

David Utidjian

1 April 2012 at 6:04 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Does it also talk? Meow, purr, make squishing sounds?
7

Caine, Cruel Monster

1 April 2012 at 6:05 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

You’ll look like a damn peacock

You think tentacles resemble feathers? You need a picture book to help you out.
8

Glen Davidson

1 April 2012 at 6:15 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

A cephalopod emphasizing the head portion of that name.

Glen Davidson
9

Sili

1 April 2012 at 6:28 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

A local shop, I see. I guess they know how to cater to local people.
10

Cuttlefish

1 April 2012 at 6:29 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Bad link for me–I just keep finding old family photos.
11

Sastra

1 April 2012 at 6:31 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Cuttlefish #10 wins another internet.
12

Caine, Cruel Monster

1 April 2012 at 6:32 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Cuttlefish:

Bad link for me–I just keep finding old family photos.

+8
13

Ms. Daisy Cutter, Gynofascist in a Spiffy Hugo Boss Uniform

1 April 2012 at 6:48 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

It’s a cephaloprod.
14

rapiddominance

1 April 2012 at 6:50 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

#7 Caine, Cruel Monster

I see you recognized the analogy.

The resemblance is weak, yes; but the toy is colorful, spindly, seemingly huge, and undeniably frightening. I was thinking that if I were more humored I would feel less disturbed.

My plan didn’t work, unfortunately.
15

jj7212

1 April 2012 at 6:53 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

I live in Japan. Nothing is shocking when it comes to sea creatures and/or sex. haha!
16

Caine, Cruel Monster

1 April 2012 at 6:59 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

rapiddominance:

the toy is colorful, spindly, seemingly huge, and undeniably frightening.

Let’s just say it’s frightening to you.
17

F

1 April 2012 at 7:19 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Wham! And another box full of internets goes to Ms. Daisy Cutter.
18

interrobang

1 April 2012 at 7:31 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

My housemate just opined “Things you find in a Deep One’s nighttable.”

Let’s just say I personally am So Not Going There™.
19

kevinalexander

1 April 2012 at 7:48 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

I just feel violated. Dirty. Cheap. Thank you. Do you have any more links like that?
20

rapiddominance

1 April 2012 at 7:56 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Caine, Cruel Monster

I can live with your appraisal of the situation. Its a subjective thing, definitely. I know I said “undeniably frightening” but that’s just me describing the very unneutral reaction I had from looking at the thing. I suppose if it sat on my television or computer for a while I’d get used to it.

Thanks for setting me straight twice! In front of some audiences I would feel very foolish.

Anyway, admit it. If a small person walked around with it stuck in their ass they MIGHT look like a peacock. Sort of.
21

stanton

1 April 2012 at 8:00 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Professor Myers, couldn’t you make, or possibly grow your own?
22

Caine, Cruel Monster

1 April 2012 at 8:05 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

rapiddominance:

Anyway, admit it. If a small person walked around with it stuck in their ass they MIGHT look like a peacock. Sort of.

Well, it wouldn’t look like a peacock to me, however, I’ll grant you eye of the beholder. That said, why do you assume any dildo would be ass bound? After all, we aren’t discussing the Calimari butt plug. :D
23

josa arturoenraquez

1 April 2012 at 8:12 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

“It’s $138; suddenly, much, much less tempted.”

But it would match nicely the linked Ghatan butt plug and ball gag you already own…
24

JohnnieCanuck

1 April 2012 at 9:02 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Caine @12

For squid and cuttlefish, shouldn’t you include the tentacles in the count?

That would make it a +10.

:)
25

neXus

1 April 2012 at 9:40 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

There is even more Cephalopod goodness!
http://www.scarysextoyfriday.com/2011/03/scary-sextoy-friday-squid-pro-quo.html
http://www.scarysextoyfriday.com/2010/02/scary-sextoy-friday-cexxxy-cephalopod.html

Thanks for the link PZ! The blog looks like it will be good for a few laughs.
26

DLC

1 April 2012 at 10:07 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

um. . . I so don’t want to know who the other end is for. . .
Butt, while I’m thinking about it, could anyone direct me to a GOP labelled ball gag ? Should be plenty of them. But, really, I really, really don’t want one with Santorum on it. Really… safe-word really! But somehow, a ball gag with Mitt Romney’s face on it just seems, right. . .
27

lawmom

1 April 2012 at 11:25 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

A little something for the octopussy?
28

Catnip, Shameless & Impudent

1 April 2012 at 11:46 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

I just feel violated. Dirty. Cheap. Thank you. Do you have any more links like that?

Are you trying to make me feel worse that I’m at work & based on the comments, to follow the link would definitely raise flags that shouldn’t be raised at work?
29

lotharloo

2 April 2012 at 1:27 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

I think only second-hand shops can have a ildo for 15$ and for some reason that’s not very tempting either.
30

Travis

2 April 2012 at 2:15 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

I say, if that link is not safe for work then you just work at the wrong job.

I thought this was going to be another product from Elastica Engineering but alas it was not. Still, it was a good excuse to go there and look around. I was saddened to find out they no longer seem to sell the Squid Diddlers. Damn, I really wanted to get those! Oh well, I randomly bumped into photos of friends at one of their parties, which was a nice surprise.

I am still laughing at the inital message when you go to Free Range Silicone. Something about that tickles me in just the right way. Oh, kinksters are the best people.
31

Travis

2 April 2012 at 2:22 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

BTW: There is a nice review of the Squildo here: http://www.truepleasures.blogspot.ca/2011/12/tentacle-tuesday-meet-my-new-mascot.html?zx=32f4489ca6fbb5df

If you are curious about how it works you can find a description of playtime there.
32

marleyfitz

2 April 2012 at 8:18 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Thanks for the link. Besides an interesting array of sex toys (such as the squildo), they also have information as to how one gets rid of those nasty “semen skid marks” on one’s couch. Hint: no HOT water, this will cause it to set. Damn, I LOVE the internet. LOL
33

Ms. Daisy Cutter, Gynofascist in a Spiffy Hugo Boss Uniform

2 April 2012 at 8:21 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Why, thank you, F., but I admit to having stolen the joke from my good friend Sneezy the Squid, who says he now regrets having sent in a pic of himself. ;D

Another friend of mine (a woman) was reminded of “those women who can shoot bananas across the room from their vagina, and wondered what it would be like to watch that with this. Tentacles INCOMING! *wobble wobble wobble splat*”

I ♥ my friends.
34

pipenta

2 April 2012 at 9:01 am (UTC -5) Link to this comment

Okay, the squid thing is cute. But specialty-themed sex toys are a booming market, this one is freakier. I guess there’s a kink for everyone. But as an atheist, this theme doesn’t induce any, uh, vascular changes in my southerly bits. Still, it is interesting to know what is out there.

WARNING WARNING WARNING! DANGER WILL ROBINSON! THIS LINK IS SO TOTALLY NSFW!

http://divine-interventions.com/religioustoys.php

I warned you.
35

fabianocaccin

2 April 2012 at 1:56 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

This reminds me of how in my younger days I was an avid enthusiast of the works of noted pornographer H.P.Lovecraft.

“Ia, ia, IA, IA! FHTAAAAAGN!!!”
36

A. R

5 April 2012 at 3:06 pm (UTC -5) Link to this comment

—>.<—