Why I am an atheist – Ben Ehrmann »« The Stedman paradox

This link is not safe for work

No no no. It is not. If you’re home alone, in a shuttered room, with a taser to use on any one who crashes in through the window to catch you looking…maybe not even then. Behold…The Squildo. I think just the name ought to give you enough of a hint of what’s on the other side.

OMG, it’s only $15. Why am I tempted? Why?

Oh, wait, no. That’s the shipping cost. It’s $138; suddenly, much, much less tempted.

Comments

  1. rapiddominance says

    #7 Caine, Cruel Monster

    I see you recognized the analogy.

    The resemblance is weak, yes; but the toy is colorful, spindly, seemingly huge, and undeniably frightening. I was thinking that if I were more humored I would feel less disturbed.

    My plan didn’t work, unfortunately.

  2. jj7212 says

    I live in Japan. Nothing is shocking when it comes to sea creatures and/or sex. haha!

  3. interrobang says

    My housemate just opined “Things you find in a Deep One’s nighttable.”

    Let’s just say I personally am So Not Going There™.

  4. kevinalexander says

    I just feel violated. Dirty. Cheap. Thank you. Do you have any more links like that?

  5. rapiddominance says

    Caine, Cruel Monster

    I can live with your appraisal of the situation. Its a subjective thing, definitely. I know I said “undeniably frightening” but that’s just me describing the very unneutral reaction I had from looking at the thing. I suppose if it sat on my television or computer for a while I’d get used to it.

    Thanks for setting me straight twice! In front of some audiences I would feel very foolish.

    Anyway, admit it. If a small person walked around with it stuck in their ass they MIGHT look like a peacock. Sort of.

  6. says

    rapiddominance:

    Anyway, admit it. If a small person walked around with it stuck in their ass they MIGHT look like a peacock. Sort of.

    Well, it wouldn’t look like a peacock to me, however, I’ll grant you eye of the beholder. That said, why do you assume any dildo would be ass bound? After all, we aren’t discussing the Calimari butt plug. :D

  7. josa arturoenraquez says

    “It’s $138; suddenly, much, much less tempted.”

    But it would match nicely the linked Ghatan butt plug and ball gag you already own…

  8. JohnnieCanuck says

    Caine @12

    For squid and cuttlefish, shouldn’t you include the tentacles in the count?

    That would make it a +10.

    :)

  9. DLC says

    um. . . I so don’t want to know who the other end is for. . .
    Butt, while I’m thinking about it, could anyone direct me to a GOP labelled ball gag ? Should be plenty of them. But, really, I really, really don’t want one with Santorum on it. Really… safe-word really! But somehow, a ball gag with Mitt Romney’s face on it just seems, right. . .

  10. Catnip, Shameless & Impudent says

    I just feel violated. Dirty. Cheap. Thank you. Do you have any more links like that?

    Are you trying to make me feel worse that I’m at work & based on the comments, to follow the link would definitely raise flags that shouldn’t be raised at work?

  11. lotharloo says

    I think only second-hand shops can have a ildo for 15$ and for some reason that’s not very tempting either.

  12. says

    I say, if that link is not safe for work then you just work at the wrong job.

    I thought this was going to be another product from Elastica Engineering but alas it was not. Still, it was a good excuse to go there and look around. I was saddened to find out they no longer seem to sell the Squid Diddlers. Damn, I really wanted to get those! Oh well, I randomly bumped into photos of friends at one of their parties, which was a nice surprise.

    I am still laughing at the inital message when you go to Free Range Silicone. Something about that tickles me in just the right way. Oh, kinksters are the best people.

  13. marleyfitz says

    Thanks for the link. Besides an interesting array of sex toys (such as the squildo), they also have information as to how one gets rid of those nasty “semen skid marks” on one’s couch. Hint: no HOT water, this will cause it to set. Damn, I LOVE the internet. LOL

  14. says

    Why, thank you, F., but I admit to having stolen the joke from my good friend Sneezy the Squid, who says he now regrets having sent in a pic of himself. ;D

    Another friend of mine (a woman) was reminded of “those women who can shoot bananas across the room from their vagina, and wondered what it would be like to watch that with this. Tentacles INCOMING! *wobble wobble wobble splat*”

    I ♥ my friends.

  15. pipenta says

    Okay, the squid thing is cute. But specialty-themed sex toys are a booming market, this one is freakier. I guess there’s a kink for everyone. But as an atheist, this theme doesn’t induce any, uh, vascular changes in my southerly bits. Still, it is interesting to know what is out there.

    WARNING WARNING WARNING! DANGER WILL ROBINSON! THIS LINK IS SO TOTALLY NSFW!

    http://divine-interventions.com/religioustoys.php

    I warned you.

  16. says

    This reminds me of how in my younger days I was an avid enthusiast of the works of noted pornographer H.P.Lovecraft.

    “Ia, ia, IA, IA! FHTAAAAAGN!!!”